[HN Gopher] On Solitude
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On Solitude
Author : imartin2k
Score : 120 points
Date : 2021-09-27 07:18 UTC (15 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (eriktorenberg.substack.com)
(TXT) w3m dump (eriktorenberg.substack.com)
| qzw wrote:
| Of all the writings on solitude that I've come across, almost all
| are from the male perspective. Anybody know of some good
| female/other writings on the subject? I have daughters, and I'd
| like to be able to better relate to them on this.
| milquetoastaf wrote:
| Check out the writings of Clarice Lispector, especially The
| Passion According to G.H
| bitten wrote:
| Carson McCullers?
|
| https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Heart_Is_a_Lonely_Hunter to
| start
| david_b wrote:
| I'm not sure to what degree her perspective is specifically
| feminine, but Sara Maitland has written two books on solitude
| and silence: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/20518977-how-
| to-be-alone https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/4437202-a-book-
| of-silenc...
| LimitedInfo wrote:
| I'm not sure that anything in this piece was gender influenced.
| The author could have a female name and I wouldn't have been
| surprised.
| qzw wrote:
| I think there are a lot of things that men take for granted
| that are not equally available to women. To me, the thought
| of going into the woods for a weekend with no connection to
| the outside world sounds peaceful and rather wonderful. But
| to my wife, it would sound downright alarming. I think it's
| hard to focus on connecting with one's true self while also
| worrying about one's physical safety. So I'd like to read
| more female perspectives on actively seeking out solitude (as
| opposed to just experiencing loneliness).
| sologirlcamper wrote:
| This seems like such a strange thing to say. Why does your
| wife find having no connection to civilisation "downright
| alarming"? If women are supposed to find outdoor solitude
| frightening or something, nobody's told me! I'm hoping this
| doesn't come across as angry, it just feels like a bizarre
| thing to read.
| 1auralynn wrote:
| Somewhat unrelated to your point but something I always
| found kind of hilarious is the fact that Thoreau had his
| laundry and food shopping/prep done by some local women
| while he was living his 'spartan' life in the woods.
| franek wrote:
| Ursula K. Le Guin, "Solitude", from the collection "The
| Birthday of the World". Speculative story about a society whose
| adults spent the majority of their lives alone. Told from a
| female perspective. One of my favourites, to say the least.
| danielam wrote:
| Josef Pieper has written a couple of books ("Leisure: the Basis
| of Culture" and "Happiness and Contemplation") about solitude and
| contemplation that are worth a look.
| jplr8922 wrote:
| The author mentions that his technique is not meditation, but his
| description is very similar to zen meditation ; just sitting in a
| state of awareness.
|
| https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shikantaza
| crdrost wrote:
| There is definitely something in common with _zazen_ but it is
| worth not externalizing it for two reasons.
|
| 1. I was formerly a Buddhist and I find it unserious, maybe
| even cringey or appropriative? People who are doing Buddhism
| are actually on a larger journey which their meditation is a
| component of, they want to train their attention to be able to
| truly be present and free of the bullshit of this world... the
| endless co-opting of mindfulness and meditation to "go out and
| be a more productive paper-pusher" just seems kind of... I
| don't know. Profane. Take something holy and put it into an
| unholy context. Same like I don't make it a point to describe
| it now as "bathing in the Holy Spirit without any other things
| to direct yourself to other than your belovedness as an adopted
| Child of God." You _can_ describe it that way, but if someone
| 's not on that journey that is a rather profane and unsettling
| thing to do, no?
|
| 2. By making it internal, for example by describing it as
| "doing nothing," I think it makes it easier? If you are setting
| up for _zazen_ then you might go out and buy a good mat, buy a
| zafu, clear out a room so that you can stare at a blank wall,
| listen to many podcasts about the goals and aims of meditation.
| Like I said, this was an important part of my religious journey
| and if you 're on one yourself, great! But the goal of _doing
| nothing_ is much simpler than that and does not require special
| preparation.
|
| I might have chosen an article more along the lines of (2), for
| example https://www.insidethetravellab.com/the-importance-of-
| doing-n... , where it's like "no we have seen this in a
| neuroscience context, here are some resources about what this
| is called in, say, athletic training contexts etc." Doesn't
| matter where you do it, it matters what your responsibilities
| are while you're doing it (namely, that you don't have any).
| crazy_horse wrote:
| Interesting that he notes Wallace there.
|
| Wallace was a lonely dude. I still really admire the things he
| said about leadership and his fiction is truly
| unique....loneliness is a theme throughout. I think I related to
| him partially because of that. I recently came across an article
| about him where he basically couldn't accept that fixing his
| loneliness wasn't someone else' job.
|
| This seems relevant but it also bothered me and I think he should
| be cited in the future with this huge caveat in mind. If he
| wasn't a famous author he would've been known as a creepy
| stalker.
|
| https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2018/05/th...
|
| https://twitter.com/marykarrlit/status/992735594060148737
| Zababa wrote:
| I wonder if one day as a society we'll be able to accept again
| that humans are flawed, and often the most popular are the most
| flawed. That's not to excuse what he's done or anything like
| that, but we can still find some interesting things or a bit of
| peace in his words. The "huge caveat" you talk about applies to
| pretty much everyone.
| ssivark wrote:
| Just wanted to share Deresiewicz's classic on the subject, for
| those who haven't stumbled on it before:
| https://theamericanscholar.org/solitude-and-leadership/
| waynesonfire wrote:
| thanks for sharing this. This is from 2009 and as I listen to
| it for the first time, seems just as applicable today.
| oakfr wrote:
| Thank you for sharing. What a beautiful talk.
| j05h wrote:
| I just listened to this yesterday, very similar themes.
|
| https://onbeing.org/programs/stephen-batchelor-finding-ease-...
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