[HN Gopher] I just don't want to be busy anymore
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I just don't want to be busy anymore
Author : PretzelFisch
Score : 69 points
Date : 2021-09-26 22:02 UTC (58 minutes ago)
(HTM) web link (elenasalaks.medium.com)
(TXT) w3m dump (elenasalaks.medium.com)
| runawaybottle wrote:
| Eddie Murphy's joke about relationships boiling down to the other
| person asking 'well what have you done for me lately' is pretty
| much the gist of many careers. I'm pretty sure I shipped some
| impactful stuff this year, but lately, well - what have I done
| for the company lately?
|
| This can work in two ways. The first is you can be a victim of
| this and feel betrayed. The second is, you just have to realize
| another chance will come along where the thing you did most
| recently will be recognized.
|
| It's like poker hands. Don't think you suck because you got a
| bunch of bad hands in a row. Don't bet on those hands, and don't
| bluff. Just wait until you are ready, because those face cards
| and pocket aces are coming.
|
| Take it easy (and take that nap).
| gregd wrote:
| As a 54 year old Software Engineer, who has had a nice IT career
| for over 26 years, I'm spent.
|
| This is coming from someone who has always had a growth mindset
| and had a really hard time sitting still. I used to loathe naps
| and felt like I was missing out if I took one. Now, I take a one
| hour nap almost daily and I'm finding that after 1pm I'm
| basically fried (I start working around 7AM).
|
| I'm not sure what to do about it, if anything. If I could retire
| now, I would.
|
| I'm trying very hard to get my earnestness about learning new
| things back and I'm finding that my motivation has just tanked.
|
| I'm afraid this is a permanent state now.
| tenaciousDaniel wrote:
| I feel that way now but I'm only 37. I knew it was a bit soon
| so I went to a doctor, and turns out my testosterone is at 250
| (whereas at my age it should be over 1,000).
|
| No idea if that's something you've already explored, but felt
| it couldn't hurt to share.
| codenesium wrote:
| Same age. Same experience.
| gregd wrote:
| This is something I've entirely thought about and likely
| suffering from.
|
| That being said, I am trying some other remedies before I
| take Androgel or Androderm and they seem to be slightly
| helping.
| hammock wrote:
| >whereas at my age it should be over 1,000
|
| Where did you get that reference range for a 37 year old? I'm
| not sure that was even true 30 years ago.
| tartoran wrote:
| I started taking some Ashwaganda and experienced positive
| effects so far. Give it a try, maybe it works out for you as
| well
| dangle1 wrote:
| It's so hard to reply without coming off as presumptuous and
| ignorant of your situation, so I apologize in advance. These
| kinds of feelings can of course be a sign of burnout that can
| get better with the suggestions in the article plus some
| significant time off that doesn't come with the penalty of
| having to make up for all the time off.
|
| On the other hand, maybe it's time to reexamine when you can
| retire. There are a lot of forums about this, my wife 'rescued'
| me from feeling like I needed to work to normal retirement age
| after reading a lot of Mr. Money Mustache, FWIW.
| RobRivera wrote:
| Have you ever taken a sabbatical?
| gregd wrote:
| An unpaid sabbatical just isn't in the cards for me at the
| moment.
| paulcole wrote:
| Just curious, but what's your definition of "growth mindset"?
|
| I love being challenged, believe I can change to meet most
| challenges I face, and enjoy looking for opportunities to
| improve myself. This is how I'd understood the concept of
| "growth mindset" from Carole Dweck's book Mindset.
|
| Maybe the difference for me is that none of these things are
| core components of my identity? It's just a way of interacting
| with the world that I find interesting vs. something I feel
| compelled to go all-gas-no-brakes on all the time.
| gregd wrote:
| My definition of growth mindset is the same as yours.
|
| I don't identify with it so much as I think of it as my
| baseline. Does this mean my baseline has changed? Absolutely.
|
| It's still irksome because I too enjoyed looking for
| opportunities to improve myself or the methods I use to get
| things done. Now, I just don't give a fuck.
| bumby wrote:
| I never really made the connection before listening to a recent
| podcast with an expert on serotonin and dopamine, but do you
| think this is a natural effect of declining dopamine. Online
| searching seems to indicate dopamine declines with age and is
| also responsible for taking risks and motivation for both short
| and long term goal attainment
| gregd wrote:
| This is highly likely and is worthy of much more research on
| my end.
|
| Thank you for reminding me of this!
| mettamage wrote:
| Typed on my phone.
|
| Six hours of work? Lie the other 2 and call it a day.
|
| Or, renegotiate a contract for 6 hours per day.
|
| Given how much productivity I presume you bring, I'd lie.
|
| I don't feel bad about it since companies care too little (in
| general). If they care, then I would care. E.g. a 10x more
| productive engineer doesn't get 10x the pay. I met one of these
| people, they lied. They worked 2 hours, shipped one hour of
| code in production, saved the other one to commit on a rainy
| day and still got employee of the year because they were by far
| the most productive.
|
| You could also become a freelancer, then you don't have to lie.
|
| My point is: six hours of productive work should be enough.
| gregd wrote:
| Part of the problem is that I'm a Software Engineer as well
| as a Business Analyst and Project Manager. I'm also managing
| a dev team, so it's really difficult to only work 6 hours a
| day. Hell, I can't even do all my work in a 40 hour work
| week.
|
| Yes, I realize this isn't a me issue and I'm looking for
| other work. The problem is that I'm encountering a lot of
| ageism in this field too.
| mettamage wrote:
| I simply don't finish work if I am spent. If I do, then I
| am worse the next week. I have the luxury of only needing
| to take care of myself.
|
| Ask to hire for help. The business case is: either you
| break down, and the company loses a valuable person, or
| they get extra hands and can resume business operations.
| And while you're at it ask for a pay raise because you were
| likely underpaid.
|
| Ageism sucks. See if you can look younger or see if you can
| work at a company of a linkedin connection.
|
| I am just brainstorming, you know what might apply to you.
| MattGaiser wrote:
| One of the things which quickly overwhelms me is just all the
| little stuff.
|
| Couple big ticket items? No problem. Long list of 5-20 minute
| items, or even worse, conversations of indefinite length?
| Exhausting.
| volfied wrote:
| I work for a big company (F500), and one thing that always
| bothers me is the out of nowhere Slack messages that are three
| paragraphs long, by someone I have never met within the
| company. If I start helping them right away, they are happy to
| keep me online for the next hour while my flow is gone, god
| knows where.
|
| I am trying to find the nicest way to say: "This should be an
| e-mail conversation, please send email.", but I wish I could
| somehow start an email draft that is saved and shows up in some
| to-do list somewhere.
| [deleted]
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