[HN Gopher] Hmsklt - App to help friends form deeper relationships
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Hmsklt - App to help friends form deeper relationships
        
       Author : bchhor
       Score  : 114 points
       Date   : 2021-09-21 10:31 UTC (12 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.hmsklt.app)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.hmsklt.app)
        
       | bchhor wrote:
       | Hey everyone - we're working on Hmsklt.app to help friends form
       | deeper relationships and more authentic connection.
       | 
       | - Join a small group of friends for a 7-day "bonfire" centered
       | around a theme like Daily Gratitudes, Small Moments in Your Day,
       | Weird Fun Stories, Self Love, Childhood Memories, or Highlights +
       | Lowlights.
       | 
       | - Each day, the group will get a prompt to respond with short
       | videos -- a chance to reflect on the topics and small moments
       | that you wouldn't normally ask about. After the 7 days, you can
       | choose to have the videos disappear or save them to celebrate
       | your friendships.
       | 
       | We want to make it less awkward to be vulnerable and build
       | authentic connections with the people who matter to you. No
       | influencers, no posing, no filters -- just sharing small moments
       | and good stories with your friends.
       | 
       | It sucks to be connected to thousands of people on social media
       | but still feel so lonely. Having been personally affected by
       | loneliness and mental health, we wanted to build tools to boost
       | mental wellness that are less intense than therapy/medication.
       | 
       | We're currently in private beta and would really appreciate any
       | feedback to help us make the app a warm and supportive
       | experience.
        
         | mlang23 wrote:
         | "Daily Gratitudes", "Self Love"... This sort of curated
         | communication reminds me a lot about how it feels to be around
         | believers... It makes me shiver. Authentic communication cant
         | be based on a framework of acceptable topics preselected by,
         | well, whom? Besides, less screen time is the only way to go to
         | strengthen friendships.
        
           | Avicebron wrote:
           | Agreed, I just had a strong stomach churn thinking about the
           | slightly crazy eyed, chipper, vision board writing, medium
           | article writing, HR types who who act like they're some kind
           | of middle school camp counselor..."Today, tell me three
           | things that made you sad, silly me..it's the 2021? Take a
           | selfie of yourself telling your friends what makes you sad"
           | f'ng yikes.
        
         | ewidar wrote:
         | Hey!
         | 
         | How does the beta access work? Shouldn't I be able to join
         | together with my friends in the Beta?
        
           | bchhor wrote:
           | Hey! If you sign up for the email list, we'll send you a
           | TestFlight beta link for the app and you can invite your
           | friends from within the app.
        
             | yoavm wrote:
             | iOS only?
        
               | bchhor wrote:
               | Yep, iOS only for now
        
               | smoldesu wrote:
               | That seems like a pretty big oversight, particularly for
               | an app that's intended for bringing people together. Now
               | my first discussion with my friend group isn't "who wants
               | to use this new app," but instead "who has an iPhone and
               | wants to dogfood this person's social media app without
               | the rest of our friends?" It's an awful lot of friction
               | for a medium that relies on viral propagation.
        
         | someguydave wrote:
         | The stories prompted by this app will be very personal.
         | Shouldn't they be protected from third parties? Encryption with
         | a shared symmetric key sounds reasonable?
        
         | magicalhippo wrote:
         | > It sucks to be connected to thousands of people on social
         | media but still feel so lonely. Having been personally affected
         | by loneliness and mental health, we wanted to build tools to
         | boost mental wellness that are less intense than
         | therapy/medication.
         | 
         | I'm struggling to see how to bootstrap this. Like if one guy in
         | a groups says "hey let's use this new app to become better
         | friends" and the others are just fine with the status quo,
         | won't it be very awkward?
         | 
         | And if the group has decided "hey let's do this to become
         | better friends", do they really need this over a discord, hike
         | or some other activity?
         | 
         | I found it was enough to just talk to people... but I guess my
         | experience is not universal.
         | 
         | Personally I'd find it very awkward to use such an app, it
         | would feel very forced and artificial, but if it helps someone
         | then I say awesome!
        
         | zelos wrote:
         | "... Stories, _Self Love_ , Childhood..."
         | 
         | I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable posting videos of that to my
         | friends...
        
           | melony wrote:
           | _OnlyFriends_
        
         | shpongled wrote:
         | > no posing
         | 
         | > "Weird Fun Stories", "Highlights + Lowlights"
         | 
         | Good luck, but I have to say this is one of the weirdest
         | sounding apps I have heard of, and something I (and probably
         | most of my friends) would never use. I don't see how forcing
         | conversation around some kind of "theme" produces "authentic"
         | and "deep" connections - those are things that only come
         | organically
        
       | munchbunny wrote:
       | I think a small adjustment to this formula could make a big
       | difference: instead of group prompts, is there a way to prompt a
       | single person at a time to respond to something deeper, and then
       | to use that to start a conversation?
       | 
       | When I think about the most genuine connections I have with
       | friends, the bonds are not formed from little things like talking
       | about what we're doing this weekend. They're formed from moments
       | when we are focused on each other as complex people with hopes,
       | struggles, ideas, perspectives, messy families and careers,
       | insecurities, successes, all wrapped up in a bundle. They come
       | from being around for each other's journeys as we individually
       | sort out our lives, even if the venue might be something
       | insubstantial like talking while playing the same video game.
       | 
       | I think short prompt responses would make me focus too much on
       | myself, not enough on others.
        
       | unixhero wrote:
       | I will not use an app for this, but all the contents of the app,
       | I can Simply ask my friends about. In this way we can have
       | engaging conversations.
        
       | slingnow wrote:
       | This app is the infomercial equivalent of the latest gadget that
       | promises to give you 6-pack abs in 60 days.
       | 
       | In the same way that building muscle requires actual work and
       | dedication, so does meaningful connections with your friends.
        
       | e-clinton wrote:
       | Kudos on Launching. I'm in support of anything that gets people
       | out of the social media routine and into more meaningful
       | interactions. In fact, I'm building a Messaging app with exactly
       | this in mind.
        
       | krak12 wrote:
       | Creepy
        
       | roseconn wrote:
       | What's the big difference between this app and another social
       | networking app? You can't assume that all of the features content
       | sharing is authentic just because it is posted on the platform.
        
       | tanto wrote:
       | Deep connections are best build in real life by investing time
       | into a relationship. I worry that for a lot of young people real
       | friendship is getting really hard to come by nowadays.
        
       | brtknr wrote:
       | I wonder if this app is trying to capitalise on exclusivity of a
       | new social network that Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat once
       | provided?
        
       | spacebear wrote:
       | Maybe it's not, but this sure looks like a predatory data grab.
        
         | FinanceAnon wrote:
         | Even if it's not, they could get hacked or acquired by someone
         | else along with all the personal videos and data
        
       | pcurve wrote:
       | I clicked into it thinking it was going to be a research article
       | about the importance of developing deep connection with a few.
       | Boy was I wrong.
        
       | soco wrote:
       | 1. All the titles on the homepage do word-wrapping after each
       | letter. Resize the width on a computer to see it. 2. Are those
       | prompts generated by you? I'd be put off by too many challenges
       | like "daily gratitudes" or such self improvement trendy hoopla.
        
         | bchhor wrote:
         | Thanks for the website feedback!
         | 
         | We did generate most of the prompts ourselves but there's a
         | pretty broad range: - Getting to know each other better through
         | sharing funny weird stories, music that's shaped you, stories
         | from childhood, etc - Sharing small moments in your day-to-day
         | life: things that made you smile, times you were frustrated,
         | weird morning routines, etc - Improving mental wellness by
         | reflecting on your priorities, how you take care of yourself,
         | or things that you're worrying about these days
        
       | LurkingPenguin wrote:
       | I love the spirit, but in all honesty, this is one of those
       | instances where you don't need an app for that.
       | 
       | The best ways to build deeper connections with friends don't
       | involve a screen.
        
         | mlang23 wrote:
         | Fully agreed. It is somewhat concerning that so few people
         | realize this. It seems tech is the answer to everything these
         | days ... Nothing beats catching up with friends by actually
         | visiting them and sit down for a few hours of talk.
        
         | marcsimon42 wrote:
         | Hey!
         | 
         | I don't think one goes against the other. Meeting in personne
         | would never be replaced by an app, but with work, kids,
         | distance, it can be really easy to loose touch.
         | 
         | This app also focus on questions that you may not have even
         | thought asking your friends or even yourself.
        
           | grvdrm wrote:
           | >it can be really easy to lose touch
           | 
           | I use a simple question to determine whether I've "lost
           | touch" with someone or not: do I have a regular or semi-
           | regular urge to talk to that person?
           | 
           | I find the answer is often no. Lots of folks gain and lose
           | friends unexpectedly over time. It's ok! It's natural. It
           | feels (to me) unnatural to feel unhappy about not
           | communicating regularly with a friend: that person is just
           | not as close of a friend anymore.
        
         | sneak wrote:
         | Anyone who grew up on IRC or in the early days of online
         | dating/video games will rightfully recognize this as
         | completely, totally false.
        
         | hazz99 wrote:
         | I think there's something to be said for having an item to
         | center a ritual around. Similar to the "talking stick" concept.
         | Gives people an excuse to share, which can otherwise be hard to
         | find.
         | 
         | Also - great idea while in lockdown.
        
         | readingnews wrote:
         | Really. There are things the little distraction box in my
         | pocket are not good for.
         | 
         | My initial thought, though, was who keeps these logs of
         | discussions and "go one level deeper" conversations, and what
         | do they do with them?
        
         | mikro2nd wrote:
         | Friendship as performance art/virtue signalling.
        
           | Graffur wrote:
           | You mean this app is?
        
       | dotandgtfo wrote:
       | What's the story with the name? How do you pronounce it?
       | 
       | The product seems interesting, but I'm not a sharer on social
       | media.
        
         | bad_good_guy wrote:
         | homeskillet: noun~ a close friend, more like family, someone
         | from your neighborhood.
        
           | samhw wrote:
           | That's fine, but it's still going to be very hard to explain
           | to people (or hell, even _remember_ ) how it's spelled, so
           | they can search or download it.
        
         | e-clinton wrote:
         | Home skillet?
        
         | bchhor wrote:
         | The name is short for "homeskillet," which is a colloquial term
         | of endearment for a good friend. I met my cofounder on an
         | airplane 7 years ago and developed our friendship while each
         | living in distant cities (SF, Taipei, Berlin, London). I called
         | him homeskillet once but he didn't understand the meaning since
         | he's French, so it randomly became our placeholder project name
         | as we bounced around ideas for cool things to build.
         | 
         | Super helpful feedback on the name confusion!
        
           | iainmerrick wrote:
           | Just calling it "homeskillet" would be better.
           | 
           | (Although, I've never heard that term before, so it still
           | wouldn't be great me for at least.)
        
             | marcod wrote:
             | https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=home%20skil
             | l...
        
               | JohnFen wrote:
               | Huh, I learned a new word today! Doubt I'll use it, but
               | at least it won't confuse me should I encounter that use
               | in the future.
        
           | danpalmer wrote:
           | Thanks for the explanation. Further feedback though, I've
           | never heard this term before, and I consider myself to have a
           | relatively good vocabulary. Here in the UK, "skillet" isn't
           | the most common word either (it's not uncommon, some people
           | do use it, especially referring to cast-iron skillets
           | specifically, but less common than in the US).
           | 
           | At the very least you've got to add the name of the company
           | to the website so that people know it's not just some random
           | letters.
           | 
           | Honestly though, I'd feel silly having to explain this name
           | to anyone so probably just won't.
        
         | danpalmer wrote:
         | Agreed. This product will live or die on word of mouth, and
         | right now I wouldn't know how to talk about it with someone
         | else.
        
         | dt2m wrote:
         | agreed, as a english-as-second-language speaker both the idiom
         | and acronym was completely lost on me. concept has potential as
         | long as it's not just another clone of snapchat stories.
        
           | pimlottc wrote:
           | As an English-as-first-language speaker, it did not at all
           | occur to me what "hmsklt" meant. I haven't heard the term
           | "homeskillet" used in 20+ years.
        
       | hamuraijack wrote:
       | If you're trying to build a tool to help deepen connections, it
       | shouldn't be around sharing things that you do. We've tried that
       | model for the last 15 years and it's clearly failed. I think what
       | people crave these days is human connection through interactions.
       | I think the biggest problem with friendships these days is people
       | want friends without all the work that goes with it.
        
         | lotsofpulp wrote:
         | I wonder if a shared struggle/experience is needed to forge
         | strong bonds. Not just going out, eating/drinking/dancing over
         | and over, but a series of ups and downs.
         | 
         | Maybe individuals becoming less dependent on others due to a
         | combination of earning power and internet facilitating ease of
         | accessing information and communicating with literally anyone
         | and not just those around you changed the parameters of life.
         | Hence relationships are less likely to experience the
         | conditions required to create the necessary bonds.
        
           | svachalek wrote:
           | I think "social" media helped to kill a lot of social
           | interaction, by making it easy to go through the motions and
           | keep up appearances more efficiently than actually living a
           | rich social life.
           | 
           | I read somewhere that given a choice between what we know is
           | good and what's convenient, people will choose convenience
           | almost every time, leading to a modern world that feels how a
           | pre-packaged peanut butter and jelly sandwich tastes. It's
           | obviously a subjective statement but I've found it explains a
           | lot about everything.
        
           | Viliam1234 wrote:
           | Yeah. At some moment in my life I noticed that there are two
           | types of "friends": First is a person you can have fun
           | with... and that is all you can ever do with them. Second is
           | a person you can have fun with, but you can also discuss
           | serious things with, and help each other. As long as you only
           | have fun, these two types seem similar. You typically learn
           | the difference only when something bad happens to you... then
           | the first type of friend disappears.
           | 
           | You can filter friends by putting yourself together in
           | difficult situations on purpose. Like, take a long trip
           | together, some problems will happen and you can see how the
           | other person reacts. Or volunteer for an organization that
           | helps others; the friends you find there are already filtered
           | for their willingness to help others. (This isn't a 100%
           | certain strategy; there are some abusers who know that others
           | use this algorithm, so they go there fishing for easy victims
           | to exploit. But most of lazy and selfish people would refuse
           | to try anything like this.)
           | 
           | If your life is all about fun, then you are at risk of being
           | surrounded by people who are your friends only as long as the
           | fun lasts.
        
         | Frost1x wrote:
         | >I think the biggest problem with friendships these days is
         | people want friends without all the work that goes with it.
         | 
         | We have a very convenience driven "me first" culture. While
         | it's healthy to always keep in mind your needs, aside from
         | _maybe_ you close family /friends, few will, you also have to
         | consider other people and learn to reach agreeable compromises.
         | 
         | Sometimes it means driving somewhere you don't want to and
         | spending half a day to make someone else happy when you could
         | spend that same half a day making sure you exclusively are
         | happy. Social relationships, maybe most human relationships in
         | general, are about reaching reasonable compromises that doesn't
         | always put self above all. We seem to be moving in a direction
         | where we put self above all though and you get a lot of lonely
         | people who pamper themselves. Some may enjoy that sort of
         | lifestyle but not me, it seems very lonely.
        
           | toshk wrote:
           | It seems to me that we the strongest bonds are formed out of
           | necessity.
           | 
           | We bond with people in difficult situations when we need
           | protections and are able to protect.
           | 
           | I've noticed friends who are born in places like South
           | Africa, or Russia are much intenser with friendships.
           | 
           | My theory is that they really have to trust eachother because
           | they have no trust in the system.
           | 
           | Where I grew up, trust in system is strong and it seems
           | people don't need to rely on eachother.
           | 
           | It's not so simple, and of course most people still bond
           | deeply depending on personality and upbringing. But it's why
           | I think most Western societies are so individual.
        
             | mockingbirdy wrote:
             | There are some studies which reveal possible connections
             | between wealth, compassion and how generous people are. [1]
             | and [2] for articles about studies like [3]. I see some
             | shortcomings in some of the studies (looking at drivers of
             | luxury cars is not informative about all types of wealthy
             | people, just the ones who care about spending it this way
             | which self-selects a certain kind of person), but I think
             | that the general direction could be informative for more
             | research. There are also studies about cognitive costs of
             | empathy [4] which may relate to this.
             | 
             | [1]: https://economictimes.indiatimes.com/wealth/save/why-
             | poor-pe...
             | 
             | [2]: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-wealth-
             | reduce...
             | 
             | [3]: https://www.pnas.org/content/109/11/4086.short
             | 
             | [4]: https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/xge-
             | xge0000595.pd...
        
           | mkr-hn wrote:
           | I've seen an incredible outpouring of selfless support for
           | others during the pandemic, and quite a bit before that.
           | Maybe the problem is the people you're surrounded by and pay
           | attention to, not culture in general.
        
             | bserge wrote:
             | Verbal/written or actual support?
        
               | mkr-hn wrote:
               | Money, transportation, housing,
               | referrals/interviews/jobs, a good time with safe people
               | away from an unsafe but currently inescapable situation.
               | Sometimes verbal or written, but that can be just what
               | someone needs. I've personally received a few lifelines.
        
               | simplify wrote:
               | While those things are great, they're also one-and-done
               | transactions. All the other person needs to do is say
               | thanks and be appreciative.
               | 
               | Building friendships is actually harder. It takes more
               | time and more effort, on many separate occasions. And
               | there's no guarantee it'll be worth it, either.
        
           | bserge wrote:
           | If you do that, you have a high chance of being an idiot.
           | You'll be the idiot who puts others first, always helps them,
           | gets nothing in return and then gets abandoned. Hence most
           | people are playing it safe and care about themselves first.
        
             | Viliam1234 wrote:
             | You could use a "tit for tat" strategy, where you do
             | something nice for the other person first, and later you
             | ask them for help with something small you need. Those who
             | don't reciprocate, they get on your blacklist and you no
             | longer do nice things for them. With those who reciprocate,
             | you gradually escalate.
             | 
             | But this requires some bookkeeping, that strategies like
             | "always help others" and "never help others" do not.
             | 
             | Seems like many people start with "always help others" as a
             | combination of idealism and... I was tempted to say
             | laziness, but probably the idea just never occured to them.
             | After seeing that people do not reciprocate, they burn out
             | and switch to "never help others". Or maybe it's not even
             | the case that most people do not reciprocate, but rather
             | that there are a few abusers who notice the opportunity and
             | start exploiting the naive person. (So the naive person's
             | statistics would be like "I helped others 100 times, and
             | was only helped 7 times myself", but they forget to notice
             | that of those 100 times they helped someone, 90 times they
             | helped the same person who never reciprocated.)
        
             | DiggyJohnson wrote:
             | Surely its the middle-ground between your point and what
             | you perceive GP's point to be?
        
       | injidup wrote:
       | Go regularly to your local surf beach/kite spot/skate
       | park/climbing wall/Games workshop/organic vegetable
       | collective/Latin dance club / or whatever your interest is.
       | 
       | Show that you are interested. Talk to people. Ask questions. Give
       | praise when you see cool stuff. Accept praise when it's given.
       | Don't bring your job with you. Be respectful and interactive. Let
       | connections build over time.
       | 
       | No app needed!
        
         | gilbetron wrote:
         | I think the "problem" is that then you have to deal with real
         | people rather than the fantasy facades social apps and
         | discussion sites let us create!
        
         | reidjs wrote:
         | Repeating "don't bring your job with you."
         | 
         | It often comes across as status-checking based on income. I
         | feel bad for people who can't think of a better question than
         | "so, what do you do?"
        
       | 1911z wrote:
       | the only solution is to keep your screen off, get your car and go
       | somewhere with your friends
        
       | JohnFen wrote:
       | This app confuses me. You deepen relationships with your friends
       | by hanging out with them and doing things together. The sharing
       | of personal stories and whatnot comes as a natural result of
       | that.
       | 
       | The sort of "compelled" sharing that this app is proposing
       | doesn't strike me as being terribly useful in terms of deepening
       | your friendships.
        
       | Vinnl wrote:
       | This seems very focused on friendships, but it sounds like a
       | pretty interesting way to get a bit closer with my remote
       | coworkers.
        
         | Graffur wrote:
         | I am seeing a nightmare scenario where hr-types push something
         | like onto teams. We'll be expected to spend time taking videos
         | of ourselves and our morning routines or whatever.. instead of
         | doing what we were hired to do.
        
         | mosselman wrote:
         | I hope OP takes this as a pivot for the product. Connecting
         | with friends is already solved, connecting with co-workers on a
         | personal level much less so, especially remote.
        
           | Avicebron wrote:
           | Not all people want a deeply personal relationship with their
           | co-workers, many would even find being forced to engage in
           | that intrusive. Unfortunately once those bonds are formed
           | between some members of a team, often the team dynamic is
           | shifted weirdly as some people feel forced into the "buddy
           | buddy system"...it's classic now and forcing it into remote
           | work seems like a nightmare
        
             | Vinnl wrote:
             | If you're at a place where this would be "forced", then I'd
             | argue that that place is the problem, not the existence of
             | such a product. I can imagine us setting this up as a team,
             | bottom-up, though. (Similar to how e.g. I've been at two
             | organisations where donut.com is available, but it being
             | completely optional in both cases.)
        
               | JohnFen wrote:
               | That's not much different from being forced, really. If
               | you dislike this sort of thing but are on a team that
               | adopts it, it's not really optional no matter how much
               | everyone says it is. It would be a bit like office
               | parties in that respect -- technically optional, but bad
               | for your career if you opt out.
        
               | Vinnl wrote:
               | I mean, you have a say in whether to adopt it if you're
               | part of the team. It might be different elsewhere, but
               | you could and people did opt-out in the teams I saw
               | donut.com being used.
               | 
               | Again, I think it's not the tool that's the problem, but
               | the team, in that I don't think a team whose use of the
               | tool is problematic wouldn't have problems if the tool
               | didn't exist.
        
               | Avicebron wrote:
               | Maybe forced isn't the right term, I'm referring to non-
               | mandated systems that occur organically. Not that I've
               | experienced this too much personally, but I have had co-
               | workers who would often be deliberately left out by
               | management or not given contracts by the project managers
               | (it was the nature of the work that some jobs were better
               | than others, less sketchy <biotech>) because they weren't
               | considered "friendly" to them.
               | 
               | Luckily I was social and often made connections with
               | those people, but I didn't feel like it was a fair
               | system. I think it's part of human tribalism, if some
               | group clicks, it can cause repercussions across the whole
               | main group/dept.
        
               | Vinnl wrote:
               | I think my general concern still holds then: such a place
               | will probably be shitty regardless of whether such a tool
               | is used or not.
        
       | seaerkin wrote:
       | I commend the developers for acknowledging the problem that
       | exists with modern social media and trying to do something about
       | it. My personal opinion is that you don't fix this problem with
       | another platform that promotes content sharing. Regardless of the
       | content shared, it'll likely turn into a comparison game and
       | result in the same unhappiness that more traditional social media
       | platforms bring and it's now been proven through extensive
       | studies that these platforms do in fact worsen mood. Why is that?
       | Well, it kinda makes sense.. you're sitting at home looking at
       | what other people are doing instead of doing those things
       | yourself. Certainly images and videos of loved ones enjoying
       | themselves can bring you joy, but nowhere near the amount of joy
       | you'd get from being with them. The problem is that the current
       | social media platforms do everything but make us social. They
       | encourage us to sit back at home and feel as if we're being
       | social by seeing social activity.
       | 
       | So what's the solution? If I had to take a stab at it, I'd build
       | something very primitive with no content sharing, no followers or
       | likes that promotes actual social interactions. The primary focus
       | of the application should be to get people together, IRL. Once
       | that interaction has been facilitated or scheduled, that's as far
       | as the application should go. The goal of social media should be
       | to get people to be more social again, in person and not through
       | a phone screen. Going to visit a new city? This app would allow
       | you to let your network know and use approximated GPS data from
       | your phone to connect you with people in your network that could
       | meet up in person. Even if you're going to visit the same city
       | you always visit but live in the suburbs, you can let people know
       | where you'll be by location and they would receive alerts that
       | someone from their network will be in the area. Want to plan a
       | hike? Schedule it in the app and make it public, semi-public
       | allowing people in your network to see your plan and opt in to
       | join.
       | 
       | Going to meet a friend for happy hour? Throw it on the app and
       | allow your network to be updated and suddenly you're catching up
       | with a few friends you haven't seen in some time.
        
         | 999900000999 wrote:
         | You're basically describing Meetup.
         | 
         | And I'm not going to lie, meet up is absolutely amazing for
         | both making friends and dating. It's been phenomenally more
         | effective for me versus dating apps. It's how I meet one of my
         | previous partners ( more like we met because I mistook her for
         | someone else, but life is random fun).
         | 
         | That said, when I'm dating someone like now, I don't socialize
         | nearly as much. It takes a very real amount of energy to do so.
         | Online socializing, also takes that energy. So when I get home
         | I'm in my temple, and I don't let all that social media drama
         | into my temple. It's done wonders for my mental health, back
         | when I was heavily in the social media and online dating apps I
         | was very nervous and miserable almost all the time. I'm half
         | convinced the never-ending notifications are designed to make
         | us all a little bit crazy, and very addicted. It can be easier
         | to drop it all and go for a walk. Occasionally you ask for
         | directions and end up getting coffee...
        
           | seaerkin wrote:
           | You may be half-convinced but I'm fully convinced the never-
           | ending notifications make us all a lot of bit crazy. Many of
           | us have lost the ability to focus.
           | 
           | I think meetup is close to what I'm describing but not quite
           | there. Meetup is very goal\work\hobby oriented which I think
           | is great but I'm describing something a bit more informal
           | geared towards keeping in touch with existing connections as
           | opposed to meeting new individuals.
        
       | mstipetic wrote:
       | For some reason a lot of the comments here are negative and
       | people are suddenly all about extreme screen aversion, but I
       | think the app is great. Kind of like a more engaging private
       | whatsapp group, which most of us have anyway in one way or
       | antoher. Kudos to the team on the launch!
        
       | bserge wrote:
       | Those aren't friends.
        
       | zecg wrote:
       | > Anything spark joy yesterday?
       | 
       | Who are you and what have you done to my friend
        
       | wly_cdgr wrote:
       | Landing page copy is cringe af. "Daily Gratitudes"? :pukes in
       | mouth:
        
       | mlang23 wrote:
       | 1. Tech is not the solution to everything. Am I the only one to
       | notice the absurdity of needing yet another app to "connect with
       | friends"? I can see the use of tech to reach out to people you
       | know from abroad, but... Whats wrong with Facetime or similar
       | tech?
       | 
       | 2. The template questions seem overly intrusive to me. I'd much
       | rather answer "any covid hobbies?" then any pre-written gratitude
       | nonesense, esp. in written communication. Philosophizing about
       | the world is something best done in a face-to-face situation.
        
         | liopleurodon wrote:
         | you're not the only one
        
         | meristohm wrote:
         | Yes, and I'll take that further and ask "what's wrong with
         | writing a letter and paying the cost of a stamp to have that
         | letter delivered?"
         | 
         | It sounds like the prompted experience of homeskillet is not
         | for me. I prefer 1:1 communication and 1:x (as in this forum; I
         | find many HN comments to be at least an engaging diversion, and
         | I do not expect conversations but a healthy back and forth does
         | add something useful), and the pace of pencil on paper suits me
         | just fine for maintaining friendships outside of the few
         | closest.
        
         | mt_ wrote:
         | I previously thought technology evolved in order to help
         | humans, now I think it just creates new needs.
        
         | subhro wrote:
         | > Tech is not the solution to everything. Am I the only one to
         | notice the absurdity of needing yet another app to "connect
         | with friends"? I can see the use of tech to reach out to people
         | you know from abroad, but... Whats wrong with Facetime or
         | similar tech?
         | 
         | That is so damn correct. I don't have the typical social media
         | presence. Some of friends and family constantly pesters me that
         | I am hard to reach. In response I keep telling them, we kept in
         | touch just fine when there was no Facebook, so just pick up the
         | phone and call/text. And astonishingly, it works better than
         | typical social connection avenues.
        
       | fnord77 wrote:
       | kinda skeptical. I think you need to be in the same room as
       | someone for mirroring neurons to engage
        
       | djoldman wrote:
       | What is a "deep connection" between friends?
       | 
       | > Hear about the small moments in your friends' days and feel
       | like you're a part of their daily lives.
       | 
       | Wouldn't " _be_ a part of their daily lives " be better than
       | "feel like a part of their daily lives"?
        
       | Aeolun wrote:
       | I'm sure another app is what will build deeper connections with
       | friends.
       | 
       | I had a lovely party this week after everyone got vaccinated and
       | it's the closest I've come to building relationships with friends
       | in two years.
        
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       (page generated 2021-09-21 23:01 UTC)