[HN Gopher] To Don't - The reverse to-do list
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       To Don't - The reverse to-do list
        
       Author : scns
       Score  : 127 points
       Date   : 2021-09-11 10:13 UTC (12 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (crazymarvin.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (crazymarvin.com)
        
       | scns wrote:
       | Made me smile. Personally i use Habitica though which offers
       | penalties for bad habits too, in a playful way.
        
       | csbartus wrote:
       | In the Age of Fallibility this is a must. We are pursuing the
       | superman way, while we might be surprised we are already as good
       | as it is possible, as we must be.
       | 
       | Tracking the don'ts, then realizing some of them are part of us,
       | and this is no problem, will lead us to better humans, to
       | understand we will never be perfect and we will always be
       | fallible.
        
         | aiisjustanif wrote:
         | > while we might be surprised we are already as good as it is
         | possible, as we must be.
         | 
         | Well this makes me sad.
        
           | bartvk wrote:
           | Actually I know a therapist who told me that he considered
           | this one of the twenty aspects of emotional maturity. He
           | pointed me to a YouTube video made by Alain de Botton et al,
           | quote: "You cease to believe in perfection in pretty much
           | every area. There aren't any perfect people, perfect jobs or
           | perfect lives. Instead, you pivot towards an appreciation of
           | what is 'good enough'".
        
       | pantulis wrote:
       | The name is fun because it looks like the evil alter ego of
       | Amazin Marvin, a very comprehensive productivity app
       | 
       | www.amazingmarvin.com
        
         | threecheese wrote:
         | Are you using Marvin? I considered it but it didn't seem to
         | have a visible community (as proxy for life expectancy).
        
           | jonwest wrote:
           | Not the original poster but I've tried it a few times.
           | Absolutely love the customizability of the methodology, but
           | for me the interface was a bit sluggish feeling for quick
           | entry and getting a larger overview of my tasks.
           | 
           | Things like page loads were quick enough, it was more that I
           | was never _quite_ sure how to do things. It would be kind of
           | close to other task management stuff I'd used, but just
           | different enough to slow me down significantly and that
           | initial and immediate drop in productivity made me look for
           | other alternatives.
        
             | tchock23 wrote:
             | Going to second this review. I loved the feature set and
             | approach to customization, but the calendar in specific
             | just didn't 'click' for me.
             | 
             | They do a lot of regular releases and are great about
             | listening to users, so maybe someday I'll go back.
        
       | Adaptive wrote:
       | As someone that helped create a relatively popular task
       | management app, I've scaled things wayyyy back personally and now
       | mostly use Apple Reminders and Streaks (Apple ecosystem only so
       | far).
       | 
       | Streaks has a great "don't do this" function for tracking habits.
       | Recommended as a habit/recurrence tracker in general.
        
       | tomcat27 wrote:
       | lol this might actually work!
        
       | _tk_ wrote:
       | Other than those shown on the website, could you give some
       | everyday examples to write in there? This sounds like a neat app
       | I would install and never look at again, after 3 days. I don't
       | see myself, friends or colleagues avoiding unprofessional,
       | unproductive or regrettable situations if they had looked at
       | their To Don't list in the morning.
        
         | moneywoes wrote:
         | Gossip, browsing social media etc
        
       | motohagiography wrote:
       | Smart. A list of bad habits would help, as self selecting the
       | ones we "remember" is different from recognizing ones we do
       | unconsciously. Most of them will be immoderate versions of habits
       | that are probably mostly good. Short list for me of things to
       | choose to stop doing would be, suffering, struggling, searching,
       | judging, among others, and in the time and emotional focus just
       | those would free up, I could do stuff like lawncare, product
       | development, get passively better at something I enjoy, or become
       | interested in the experiences of others. I probably won't use an
       | app unless it provides some kind of exogenous value, but it's a
       | nice piece of art.
        
       | alreadyinxkcd wrote:
       | ... go chasing waterfalls.
        
       | mrkramer wrote:
       | Aren't To Don'ts counter-productive since there are 99 things you
       | shouldn't do and like 5 things you need To Do. This is akin to
       | using blacklist as a sysadmin instead of whitelist since there
       | are hundreds of potentially dangerous and unwanted apps which
       | need to be blacklisted but in reality there are 10 apps that you
       | actually need and use which are easier to pinpoint and whitelist.
        
         | mlac wrote:
         | It's not the 99 things you shouldn't do that you wouldn't do
         | otherwise, it's the 4 that you shouldn't be spending time on
         | but are anyway.
         | 
         | "We've always done it this way" - old habits die hard, and
         | sometimes what you decide not to do is important as what you
         | choose to do. Identifying and marking down time wasters and
         | energy sucks is a useful exercise.
        
       | noisem4ker wrote:
       | Let's start a list:
       | 
       | 1 - Don't create websites that only show with JavaScript enabled.
        
         | slig wrote:
         | 2 - Don't complain to others about your personal choices.
        
         | yosito wrote:
         | 2 - Don't create app icons that look like swastikas
        
       | nkozyra wrote:
       | I have been doing a combination to do/to don't list for awhile
       | and treat the latter like the proverbial unbreakable chain.
       | 
       | So in addition to tasks on my list, I have a M-F to don't list
       | that I fill in once I've ... uh, not done that thing.
       | 
       | Mostly related to health, fitness and sleep. It helps me stay on
       | track.
        
       | juangacovas wrote:
       | A code style guidelines seems like a nice don't list to me, if
       | accompanied with examples
        
       | HeyZuess wrote:
       | I have a `don't do` list and a `anti-regret` list.
       | 
       | The `don't do` list works well, not all the time but I am
       | constantly reminded not to drink coke, down from many liters a
       | day. My `anti-regret` list takes priority over my to do list,
       | things like spend more time with the kids, again works in the
       | majority of times.
        
         | Apocryphon wrote:
         | I've thought of creating a "worrybook" to jot down anxious
         | thoughts and worries to confirm afterwards whether or not if
         | they had any basis in reality, or were in fact irrational. So
         | another angle of dealing with regret.
         | 
         | Is there any psychological basis of recording bad thoughts to
         | disprove them, as a way to treat anxiety?
        
           | scns wrote:
           | It is a very healthy thing to do. The simplest forms are
           | getting a clicker and pushing it, every time you have a
           | negative/self defeating thought, the other would be to put a
           | rubber band around your wrist and let it snap every time you
           | have one. Both approaches usually show a decrease in
           | negativity against oneself, just by making those self
           | deceating thoughts conscious.
        
           | nialse wrote:
           | Licensed psychologist here. A similar worksheet is often used
           | in CT (cognitive therapy) to challange ones thoughts. The
           | therapy is based on the works of
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aaron_T._Beck among others.
           | Brief description of CT by GPT-3:
           | 
           | "Cognitive therapy was first developed as a treatment for
           | depression. Beck's theory was that depressed people think the
           | way they do because they have certain beliefs about
           | themselves, their world, and the way the world works. Beck
           | believed that these negative thoughts can be changed by
           | challenging them with rational responses until the person
           | accepts them."
           | 
           | Reach out to a CT (or CBT) therapist if you need guidance on
           | how to approach the methods and have them tailored to your
           | needs.
        
             | joshjdr wrote:
             | Why reference GPT-3? Was there no other suitable or
             | practical source available (e.g. dictionary, encyclopedia,
             | textbook, WebMD, etc)? Was the output accurate (first try,
             | no edits)? I'm just curious, as I doubt the citation as a
             | source lends credibility to content itself, or the context
             | in which it was provided (no offense intended--- perhaps
             | I'm in the minority here).
        
           | Rainymood wrote:
           | What you describe is the basis of cognitive behavioral
           | therapy (CBT). I use it personally and has helped me greatly
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy
        
         | zelphirkalt wrote:
         | When I read anti-regret list first, I thought it would be a
         | list of things you already have done, that you came to the
         | conclusion you should not regret. But what you describe sounds
         | more useful for deciding what to do next.
        
           | ant6n wrote:
           | I thought it's a don't do list where you also decide you
           | won't regret not doing it.
        
           | tenkabuto wrote:
           | Yeah, it seems like you're doing pre-mortem analysis on your
           | conscience.
        
         | peterburkimsher wrote:
         | In Chinese, there are 2 words for "regret".
         | 
         | Hou Hui  hou hui is the regret of things I did: e.g. I regret
         | drinking that much.
         | 
         | Yi Han  yi han is the regret of things I didn't do: e.g. I
         | regret not asking her to dance.
         | 
         | Which do you have more of on your anti-regret list? Spending
         | time with kids sounds much more like Yi Han  yi han.
        
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       (page generated 2021-09-11 23:01 UTC)