[HN Gopher] Should you delete social media? That's the wrong que...
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       Should you delete social media? That's the wrong question.
        
       Author : digitalminimal
       Score  : 23 points
       Date   : 2021-09-08 20:30 UTC (2 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (mehretbiruk.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (mehretbiruk.com)
        
       | cblconfederate wrote:
       | You dont quit an addiction, you replace it with something else.
       | 
       | But social media is different. It's a reality show in which you
       | re the unpaid actor, a replaceable lab rat. If you feel that,
       | living your whole life oblivious under a painted dome (like in
       | the Truman Show) by getting rewarded with likes is an OK life,
       | then maybe you should grow up. In the end, Truman chose to get
       | out.
        
         | commandlinefan wrote:
         | We replaced TV with social media. I still believe this was
         | progress.
        
       | 0des wrote:
       | I was impressed recently, while waiting for DuoLingo to load. The
       | load screen asked "What can 15 minutes of social media do for
       | you?".
       | 
       | Oddly poignant.
        
       | kayodelycaon wrote:
       | What is "social media" in this context?
       | 
       | I'm barely on any "social" websites other than HN. Getting off
       | Twitter was great. But almost all my friends are on Telegram.
       | They are all over the world and many I've known for years. The
       | heat death of the universe is going to happen sooner than me
       | giving up instant messaging.
       | 
       | I feel like some of these articles need context or the author has
       | completely different circumstances than I do.
        
       | lolpython wrote:
       | Thanks, I needed this.
        
       | jrochkind1 wrote:
       | most of this applies to any other addiction too...
        
       | Thorentis wrote:
       | The alternatives only suck because we've been made lazy by the
       | seeming ease with which social media facilitates human contact
       | and interaction. Yes, you absolutely should delete social media,
       | and yes, making an effort with people will feel like hard work.
       | But it will be worth it.
       | 
       | I personally think sites like HN and Reddit are better forms of
       | social media because they don't necessarily try to replace the
       | contact you should have with friends and family. If I interacted
       | with friends on Facebook, I felt like I'd already done enough
       | with/for them, and left it at that. Without it, I make more of an
       | effort to stay in touch. But at least on HN, this isn't a
       | replacement for my friend circle, it's just more of an interest
       | group that provides some interesting reading and conversations.
        
         | jjcon wrote:
         | > they don't necessarily try to replace the contact you should
         | have with friends and family
         | 
         | They may not aim to replace those interactions but they
         | definately eat in to what would otherwise be friend or family
         | time for a lot of people. I personally find reddit too negative
         | for my taste but HN strikes a good balance, on the whole I
         | would probably be better off if i limited my time here.
        
       | droptablemain wrote:
       | As someone who quit social media a couple of years ago, I would
       | say, yes, you should quit social media (regardless of whether
       | that's the question). It is wonderful for one's mental health.
       | 
       | It's true that you will lose a lot of connections, but you will
       | manage to stay in touch with the people that matter.
        
         | swader999 wrote:
         | I think its great that you did this and realized some benefit
         | but isn't HN social media?
        
           | droptablemain wrote:
           | I wouldn't consider HN social media, but instead a news
           | aggregator with a robust comment section. These things
           | existed long before the emergence of social-media networks.
           | 
           | Who am I? Who are you? We don't know. There are no friends,
           | connections, or personal details shared. Interactions are
           | fleeting and temporary.
        
             | swader999 wrote:
             | There's still the notion of karma points but if it doesn't
             | suck you in then that's ok.
        
             | corty wrote:
             | Reading and writing HN comments can suck as much time as
             | social media. I'd say if it sucks too much time for your
             | taste, quit. If it doesn't, good for you.
        
             | yesenadam wrote:
             | And..having friends on here would be somehow bad?..
             | 
             | I like Clay Shirky's definition of social media, (something
             | like) a website where the users create the content, where
             | the thing wouldn't exist in the same way without the users.
             | But the definition of the word doesn't really matter, I
             | guess. I'm just not sure why not having friends here makes
             | it "ok", and why if you made friends here you'd have to
             | quit because of your policy/your identity as "someone who
             | quit social media years ago".
        
               | droptablemain wrote:
               | Irrelevant definitions aside -- I think everyone can
               | agree there is a dramatic difference between a website
               | like Facebook and a website like HN.
               | 
               | The vast majority of the negative psychological triggers,
               | for example, associated with a platform like Facebook,
               | are missing from HN.
        
               | cryptoz wrote:
               | For what it's worth, my experience is the opposite. The
               | vast majority of negative psychological triggers I see in
               | my online life are on HN, not facebook or twitter or
               | reddit.
               | 
               | > I think everyone can agree there is a dramatic
               | difference between a website like Facebook and a website
               | like HN
               | 
               | No we cannot all agree on that! For one I completely
               | disagree. Also I 100% consider HN social media. It checks
               | all the boxes the way I see it.
        
               | yesenadam wrote:
               | Well, I'm not the vast majority hehe. On FB I just chat
               | with my friends around the world and sometimes while
               | doing that, look at their pictures of what they've been
               | up to. It's so nice. My friends are amazing. I've no idea
               | why everyone acts like you are forced to look at your
               | "news feed" on FB or see ads.
               | 
               | On here, it's all-too-frequent crazy/nasty/snarky/jerk
               | comments. Yes, _negative psychological triggers_ is a
               | good way of putting it! Like the other day[0] I found the
               | people from the US claiming Australians wouldn 't have to
               | put up with the lockdown if we only had guns, really
               | disturbing. Then yesterday, the guy who's surprised when
               | people move to Australia, because the people there are ok
               | with censorship[1]. When I discovered !!Con after being
               | on HN a lot it was like "OMG, there are places where
               | programmers congregate and it's actually fun, joyous,
               | positive and supportive!" haha.
               | 
               | [0] For reference. Actually reading all these comments is
               | not recommended. What a shitfight.
               | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28451066
               | 
               | [1] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=28452423
        
         | benjaminwootton wrote:
         | I'm the same.
         | 
         | I left Twitter and LinkedIn this year which were my main vices.
         | Probably 70k reasonably organic connections down the drain.
         | 
         | However, I feel much happier and relaxed and have better
         | relationships online and offline with a smaller group of
         | people.
         | 
         | Would definetly recommend binning social media. It's a toxic
         | time sink.
        
       | neonnoodle wrote:
       | I appreciate this essay and I think your observation is true,
       | broadly speaking. However one thing I find consistently lacking
       | from the "digital minimalism" space is recognition of the things
       | that social media has eliminated or made harder. The pandemic has
       | compounded this problem. It's not just that using social media
       | for relationships is individually easier--it's that the network
       | effects eventually make it so that social infrastructure moves
       | online and eliminates non-digital avenues for community. The
       | logistics of IRL meetups are an enormous hurdle compared to
       | instantaneous online communication, so people just...stop doing
       | IRL events. My friends and family lead busy lives and rely on
       | social media to maintain relationships because the alternative
       | social infrastructure simply _does not exist_. It's like car
       | ownership--more cars makes city planning revolve around cars,
       | undermines the critical mass for public transit, and makes
       | everything that ISN'T car-based more difficult. It's not just a
       | matter of personal choice at that point, but of commons.
        
         | asdff wrote:
         | I really don't think this is true anymore at least in my
         | generation. I'm in my late 20s and my family and friends really
         | don't seem to post much content anymore on social media after
         | graduating college. It's pretty much for consumption of memes
         | and other internet content and could be cut out easily since
         | its a time sink, vs years ago when people were much more active
         | and no one ever followed commercial accounts or people they
         | didn't personally know. These days I just call and text people,
         | way less friction and I have everyone's number I care about.
        
           | mr_cyborg wrote:
           | I would say this is largely true for myself and my peers, but
           | to older relatives Facebook is conflated with real life and
           | actually keeping in touch.
        
           | prophesi wrote:
           | I'm also in my late 20's, and my core friend group still
           | coordinates via Messenger and FB Events. Much easier to send
           | a mass invite, including people you aren't too close to, when
           | IRL meetups finally do occur. Not to mention the event
           | reminders, and timeline cards that say x is attending y this
           | Saturday for the network effect to do its thing.
        
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       (page generated 2021-09-08 23:00 UTC)