[HN Gopher] Predictors and effects of phubbing behaviour in frie...
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       Predictors and effects of phubbing behaviour in friendships [pdf]
        
       Author : giuliomagnifico
       Score  : 67 points
       Date   : 2021-09-04 17:52 UTC (2 days ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.tandfonline.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.tandfonline.com)
        
       | kwertyoowiyop wrote:
       | Next time a friend phubs you, just AirDrop them this PDF.
        
       | nick__m wrote:
       | TIL the word phubbing!
       | 
       | P.S. It's missing the [pdf] tag.
        
         | anm89 wrote:
         | This researcher just made it up. You could make up your own
         | words if you wanted
        
         | avalys wrote:
         | It's interesting how much better the experience is reading a
         | PDF online than an article on a "modern" website.
         | 
         | The PDF loads quickly - nearly instantaneously. Nevertheless it
         | also has a loading bar which accurately reflects loading
         | progress. It is ready to be viewed immediately after loading.
         | Once loaded, the layout is fixed - it doesn't shift and jump
         | around as content continues to load for seconds after the first
         | content is displayed. Scrolling is immediate, fast and
         | responsive.
         | 
         | It has no advertisements, no banners, no interstitials and no
         | cookie warnings. Usually very little extraneous content of any
         | kind.
         | 
         | So I've never understood the desire for a "PDF Warning". If
         | anything, we should have a tag on links to (for example) The
         | Verge that somehow communicates "this page has 100 kB of
         | content and 16 MB of Javascript ads, trackers, cookie warning
         | popups, and other garbage. It will take 15 seconds to load and
         | will reflow the layout 6 times while doing so. Once loaded, it
         | will try to autoplay a useless video that takes 5 minutes to
         | provide 15 seconds of explanation. Autoplay will start by
         | showing you an unskippable 30-second toilet paper ad. If you
         | try to stop the autoplaying ad because you don't want to watch
         | the useless autoplaying video, your tap will open the toilet
         | paper company's website instead."
         | 
         | If anything, HN should prefer PDFs and tag links to such sites
         | with a warning.
        
           | leephillips wrote:
           | Amen to everything you said. Far too many submissions to HN
           | turn out to be these kinds of abusive sites. PDF FTW!
        
           | rhn_mk1 wrote:
           | > So I've never understood the desire for a "PDF Warning".
           | 
           | What you're describing is the influence of scripting, and, to
           | some extent, custom stylesheets. Some of us take the Web to
           | the stone age by disabling either, for the purpose of calm
           | reading - I think Reader Mode is also that.
           | 
           | Yes, the content being reflowed by the creator is worse than
           | fixed content, but fixed content is worse than content
           | reflowed exclusively by the reader.
           | 
           | Considering that, I really have no desire to read PDFs which
           | need to be panned and zoomed every which way in order to read
           | them comfortably.
        
           | e12e wrote:
           | Doesn't read very well on a phone - but would be great as a
           | simple html page...
        
           | nick__m wrote:
           | I have nothing against PDFs when I am at my desk but I
           | dislike them on my tablet as I have to manually delete them
           | from the Download folder. For autoplaying toilet paper ad, I
           | believe you that they exists inabundance but I don't see them
           | as I use uBlock Origin in Firefox for Android...
        
         | dang wrote:
         | [pdf] added above. Thanks!
        
       | Ajay-p wrote:
       | I am shy and use my phone to escape interactions with others. I
       | hope I am not viewed as "snubbing" someone, or a room.
        
         | bqmjjx0kac wrote:
         | I think it depends on whether you are avoiding interactions
         | with friends or with strangers.
        
         | antisthenes wrote:
         | At that point why not just leave the room?
         | 
         | Presumably there's at least 1 person there that you want to
         | interact with, otherwise why are you there?
        
         | aerovistae wrote:
         | I mean....I'm sorry, but if I'm trying to spend time with you
         | and you're on your phone to "escape interacting with
         | me"....yes, that's almost the definition of snubbing me, and
         | yes, I'm definitely viewing it that way.
        
         | agumonkey wrote:
         | the crowd around you will hold all possible interpretation of
         | your behavior depending on their own bias
         | 
         | you'll be an entitled douche, a snub, a weirdo, a shy, a geek,
         | but maybe a 'independant mind', a mysterious person, someone
         | who doesnt brag, etc
         | 
         | who know what someone is when you run into it for a minute
        
         | jcpst wrote:
         | You can go ahead and bury that hope. Unless you want to live in
         | denial, you are definitely snubbing if you are using your phone
         | to escape interactions with others.
        
       | anm89 wrote:
       | Exciting to see that click bait has made its way into the
       | research realm.
       | 
       | Nobody would be the least bit interested in this paper if it
       | didnt have a funny sounding made up word with no known definition
       | in the title.
        
         | schott12521 wrote:
         | Eh, the word has been part of the dictionary for a few years
         | now (almost a decade!):
         | https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/phubb...
         | 
         | I think it makes sense to use the correct terminology when
         | writing a research paper.
        
           | anm89 wrote:
           | These dictionaries have become urban dictionary competitors
           | collecting definitions for exactly these kind of obscure
           | funny sounding words in a bid to stay relevant.
           | 
           | Im a native English speaker who reads extensively on related
           | topics and ive never once heard this word used until now.
        
       | antiterra wrote:
       | I often have an urge to pull out my phone to look up some info
       | that is pertinent to the conversation, especially if I can't
       | quite remember something.
       | 
       | I eventually learned to just let it go unless it was of immediate
       | importance, but the constant impulse to use my phone as a
       | reference device persists.
        
         | wallacoloo wrote:
         | I sometimes use this to effect. If a conversation goes down a
         | dead-end, it's easy to take the twenty seconds _then_ to look
         | up that thing you wanted to tie into the conversation, and now
         | you can rope the conversation back to that point and explore a
         | different path.
         | 
         | I'm at this point right now where I take notes about things I
         | want to loop back on when I'm having casual conversations over
         | the phone. But since my note-taking device is my phone, I don't
         | do much note-taking in person because using a phone like that
         | _appears_ disrespectful. Not sure how to break that limitation.
        
         | drdeadringer wrote:
         | It's OK not to know something in the moment.
         | 
         | Leave it at the tip of your mind and roll.
        
         | version_five wrote:
         | I find in many circumstances looking it up ruins the
         | conversation. If you quickly _need_ a fact sure, but it you 're
         | discussing something more as an intellectual exercise, either
         | in memory or reasoning, which in my experience is way more
         | often, its ruined when someone pulls up wikipedia and reads out
         | the "answer".
        
           | Broken_Hippo wrote:
           | That's just your cohort. We might discuss the answer, but we
           | tend to look it up and then talks about that result.
           | 
           | Which is fine with me: I'd rather not have someone's
           | skillfully crafted BS in my head if it isn't connected to
           | actual truth if I can help it.
        
       | iamevn wrote:
       | I find that I'm better able to focus on conversations if I have
       | some other stimulus to keep some part of my mind occupied. When I
       | try to appear to give someone my "full attention" I struggle to
       | comprehend and get overwhelmed by what I understand to be my adhd
       | brain going off on 50 tangents at a time. It 100% looks rude but
       | after setting expectations with my friends and family they seem
       | to either understand or at least tolerate it.
        
       | GDC7 wrote:
       | "I am not going up to that person to talk, that's needy and like
       | not cool at all...but I can't stay here staring into the void
       | either...what am I gonna do? Oh yes I am gonna look at my phone
       | and pretend that my attention is captured by something/someone
       | else, that would put pressure on him/her to come talk to me
       | instead"
        
         | drdeadringer wrote:
         | Which is sad.
         | 
         | Said "as an introvert".
        
       | amin wrote:
       | Lifehack: Don't hang with people who'd rather be on their phone
       | than to engage with you.
        
         | DeBraid wrote:
         | Came here to post something similar, "I don't experience this
         | problem..." and realized this is due to my age (approaching
         | 40yo) and having the good fortune of curated great group of
         | friends who enjoy each other more than doomscrolling.
        
         | MeinBlutIstBlau wrote:
         | You're gonna have a major problem trying to make friends as you
         | get older then unless they're aware of this too.
        
       | fsckboy wrote:
       | this headline/title (above) uses psychological terms of art in
       | confusing way.
       | 
       | Depression is a condition that is characterized by repeated
       | periods of dysphoria, feeling unhappy. So I'd suggest the
       | headline refer to dysphoria.
       | 
       | Anxiety is a feeling, but social anxiety starts to cross over to
       | referring to a condition, but this one gets a pass.
       | 
       | Neuroticism is a scale for the propensity toward unhappy feelings
       | for all of us. People high in neuroticism would include people
       | with depression and anxiety disorders who would be more likely to
       | feel dysphoria and anxiety when confronted by phone use by
       | friends who seem to be ignoring them.
       | 
       | (I didn't plow through the whole article yet, but it doesn't use
       | these terms at the top. I was put off reading by the word phub...
       | can't even say it. I like being with friends who don't care if I
       | use my phone, and I allow them to. You can just say "hey, listen
       | to me right now" if you want, there is no snubbing involved, or
       | if there is, call it out.)
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | dwighttk wrote:
       | Phubbing means ignoring those around you to look at your phone.
       | (Had to look it up)
        
         | anm89 wrote:
         | Im formally changing the definition of phubbing right here to
         | the act of writing low quality research with click bait titles
         | designed to maximize the chance that articles get written about
         | it in magazines
        
       | leephillips wrote:
       | This phenomenon has precedents. When I was in college, many
       | (many!) years before cellphones, and before personal computers, I
       | went to see my undergraduate advisor. Oh no, a long line of
       | students outside his office! Looks like over an hour wait. So I
       | had a brilliant idea: I trotted back to the dorm and called him
       | on the phone. He picked up on the first ring, and I got to ask
       | him what I needed to while everyone else waited.
       | 
       | He was one of the smartest people I've ever met, but in the
       | thrall of some psychological effect that I guess is part of our
       | current smartphone pathology.
        
         | drdeadringer wrote:
         | Before he retired, the head of my major's department would make
         | you wait until he finished a game of Minefield before
         | addressing you. I didn't believe it until I experienced it
         | myself.
         | 
         | He needed to retire long before I signed up, but that's neither
         | here nor there.
         | 
         | There are stories. I'm glad that now that that's all they are.
        
         | SV_BubbleTime wrote:
         | Not too proud about it, but I've done this at Home Depot or
         | other places while in the store and can't find an employee and
         | am in a hurry.
         | 
         | Maybe the employee who is sent to the shelves to answer the
         | caller's question while a customer is standing around with a
         | strikingly similar question was goofing off, or they were busy
         | doing something else, IDK, but sometimes you need to just get
         | things done.
        
       | tobtoh wrote:
       | When I was an IT manager, I never answered my phone if I was
       | talking to someone, and especially if they were one of my team
       | (unless it was the incident response desk which would mean they
       | were escalating a critical problem).
       | 
       | I had constant looks of surprise that I would let calls go to
       | voicemail, even if it was my boss. The feedback I would often get
       | later (via 360 reviews, or even just during casual conversation)
       | was that it was a huge positive tick in their opinion of me as a
       | manager (and person). They felt they were being listened to and
       | that I was paying attention to them.
       | 
       | I remember reading an etiquette guide once where 'proximity'
       | (temporal and spatial) should be the deciding factor in
       | prioritizing your attention. Someone standing in front of you is
       | closer than a phone call or an email - that should always be #1
       | (and phone > chat > email). It's generally what I try to follow.
        
         | drdeadringer wrote:
         | "... Aren't you going to get that?"
         | 
         | "Right now, I am talking to you."
        
         | SV_BubbleTime wrote:
         | Hmm, nicely worded and intended. I'll give that a specific try.
         | I can think of a few conversations I've cut short because I got
         | a more important call that ended up just being something I
         | would have got the gist of from a voicemail.
        
         | Bokanovsky wrote:
         | I remember once as a junior developer meeting up with the head
         | of technology to rely a project update to him. During the
         | meeting his (desk) phone started to ring. He looked down at it
         | and pressed the mute button for the ringer. While commenting
         | that they don't get to jump the queue just because they're
         | phoning him.
         | 
         | At the time I found it reassuring that I had his undivided
         | attention.
        
       | anigbrowl wrote:
       | People complaining about the neologism in the title are free to
       | coin or nominate their own term for the phenomenon of being
       | snubbed by someone nominally engaged in conversation but giving
       | more of their attention to their phone.
        
       | jcims wrote:
       | My youngest (sophomore in college) has gone through some hellish
       | personal issues over the past 4-5 years and checks the first two
       | boxes in the title. This behavior has gotten pretty bad recently
       | and I'm really struggling trying to get across how this behavior
       | is perceived by others. I have some of the same traits in that
       | when i was younger i would just leave during gatherings until
       | people started calling me out in it.
       | 
       | This puts a different spin on it that might help me find new ways
       | to help her see it objectively.
        
         | drdeadringer wrote:
         | I don't see the problem with leaving when you're ready if
         | that's before the party's over.
         | 
         | Not "overstaying your welcome" goes both ways. It is legit to
         | feel "I'm done here", say the thank-yous, and go.
         | 
         | I don't understand. I'm open to understanding the other side of
         | the coin.
        
           | jcims wrote:
           | By 'younger' I'm talking in my 20's and early 30's, and the
           | gatherings in question were at my house. :)
           | 
           | Fortunately my wife had the social capacity for both of us
           | (and then some) and patience with my quirks.
        
       | ryandrake wrote:
       | I remember sitting at a restaurant some time pre-covid, and
       | noticed this young couple a few tables over obviously on some
       | sort of date. But their phones were constantly lighting up and
       | buzzing, and every time it happened, they'd interrupt whatever
       | they were talking about and go into zombie mode playing with
       | their phones. Then after some scrolling and texting, go back to
       | their conversation. Hard to tell if they even made it through to
       | the end of a single conversation. I guess I'm an old fart but I
       | couldn't imagine a night out like this, but it seemed like no big
       | deal to them so ...?
        
         | MeinBlutIstBlau wrote:
         | It's possible they they just met up to hang out too even if
         | it's a real early on simple date. A lot of dating anyway is
         | filled with low effort interactions and people flaking on a
         | whim so wasting time trying to actually "try" early on isn't
         | worth it. It only changes when you both don't mind hanging out
         | with eachother.
        
       | Arubis wrote:
       | From TFA, in case you were also confused: "Phubbing is the act of
       | snubbing someone during face-to-face interactions by using
       | smartphones instead of paying attention to them."
        
         | phkahler wrote:
         | What's the relationship with depression and such (psych)? Does
         | one phub more when psych is present, or does phubbing cause
         | psych, and in which person?
        
         | ainar-g wrote:
         | > Although studies have examined phubbing in many different
         | relationships, little is known about friend phubbing
         | (Fphubbing).
         | 
         | I understand that "language grows", and that it often does so
         | chaotically and in a non-organised way, and all that stuff, but
         | as a non-native English speaker, I often find myself wondering
         | if English--and in particular modern English--is just trolling
         | us at this point.
        
           | anm89 wrote:
           | You are basically correct. this word is nonsense and NOBODY
           | uses it.
           | 
           | The author is using a funny sounding made up word to attract
           | interest to their research.
        
             | barnesto wrote:
             | Not true. I've known this phenomenon by its name for well
             | over a year. Not sure the origin. Yes, it's nonsense. But
             | plenty of people use here in the Bay Area. This wasn't made
             | up just for this article.
             | 
             | Also, the word is nonsense just the practice. Pay attention
             | to what and who is in front of you. Eyes up, please.
        
           | toyg wrote:
           | The language? No. Starving academics of the humanities,
           | desperately trying to come up with "catchy" concepts?
           | Absolutely.
        
           | omnicognate wrote:
           | Languages evolve and dictionaries document rather than
           | prescribing.
           | 
           | This doesn't mean that you are not allowed to have an opinion
           | as to whether a particular linguistic development is a good
           | thing.
        
           | ineedasername wrote:
           | Not trolling, English has perhaps always been a bit more
           | dynamic, having its roots in what arguably started out as a
           | creole language [0]. Linguists disagree with each other on
           | that point, but English does have its roots in a bunch of
           | different languages. This contributes to a general lack of
           | consistency across the language, and in the absence of more
           | concrete rules it may end up being a little more flexible
           | when it comes to certain things, more accepting of coining
           | new words rather than turning to existing words.
           | 
           | See also "The Great Vowel Shift" as another example
           | contributing to the roots of English in more dynamic change
           | [1]
           | 
           | [0] https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_English_creole_hyp
           | oth...
           | 
           | [1]
        
             | talideon wrote:
             | English was/is not a creole. That's a misreading of things.
             | Rather it was _creolised_. The linked Wikipedia article
             | mentions this, but it could be more explicit. Old English
             | didn 't die out and get replaced by a weirdly similar yet
             | simpler language, but evolved into Middle English over
             | time.
             | 
             | Creoles are descended from pidgins that later become full
             | languages, i.e., they become _more_ complex. Creolised
             | languages, on the other hand, are languages that _simplify_
             | radically due to contact with other language groups. Now,
             | the _outcome_ might be similar, but the difference in
             | terminology is useful to distinguish the direction of
             | change.
             | 
             | It doesn't take long for this kind of thing to happen, and
             | we have prominent written evidence of this in the form of
             | Afrikaans, which began as a creolised form of Dutch, which
             | was already one of the more straightforward West Germanic
             | languages.
        
               | ineedasername wrote:
               | To say something is creolized but not a creole is a bit
               | of a contradiction given that creolizationn is process by
               | which something becomes a creole. merely the way that
               | creole languages come about. Unless you mean that it
               | underwent a change that has some characteristics of
               | creole, but did not fully make the leap? That would make
               | more sense, and pretty much in line with the "it is not a
               | full creole" dominant opinion in the field. The minority
               | opinion is that the others are splitting hairs about
               | where the line is for a sufficient amount of
               | simplification.
        
           | slowmovintarget wrote:
           | This is a portmanteau nobody needs and few people want. I've
           | not heard the term before and hope it doesn't catch on. It is
           | cumbersome.
        
           | avalys wrote:
           | The authors of the study just made up these words.
        
             | avian wrote:
             | I've never heard of "phubbing" before either, but according
             | to Wikipedia the origins of the word trace back to 2012:
             | 
             | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phubbing
        
               | woko wrote:
               | Coined by an advertising agency.
        
         | burnished wrote:
         | Is TFA 'the fucking article'?
        
           | leephillips wrote:
           | Of course not, that would be rude. It's "the fine article".
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | jcims wrote:
           | The Fabulous Article
        
           | acheron wrote:
           | The friendly article.
        
           | edoceo wrote:
           | It's like the F in RTFM. Fantastic.
        
             | gpvos wrote:
             | _Fine_ was the original alternative.
        
           | chrisfosterelli wrote:
           | Yes. Alternatively: "The Featured Article"
        
         | justaj wrote:
         | And what would snubbing be?
         | 
         | All I came across are some industrial terms, see:
         | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snubbing
        
       | symlinkk wrote:
       | Wow you're saying socially anxious people avoid social
       | interactions by looking at their phone? That is groundbreaking
       | stuff, give this guy a raise
        
         | dang wrote:
         | " _Don 't be snarky._"
         | 
         | " _Please don 't post shallow dismissals, especially of other
         | people's work. A good critical comment teaches us something._"
         | 
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
        
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       (page generated 2021-09-06 23:00 UTC)