[HN Gopher] Flowers Make a Nice Gift
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Flowers Make a Nice Gift
        
       Author : ivanech
       Score  : 175 points
       Date   : 2021-09-04 19:09 UTC (3 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.echevarria.io)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.echevarria.io)
        
       | DonHopkins wrote:
       | Plus, flowers make really great RMS repellent!
       | 
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26541280
       | 
       | >compiler-guy 5 months ago | on: Richard Stallman is coming back
       | to the board of th...
       | 
       | >His inappropriate behavior toward women is well documented. One
       | example where women traded advice on how to keep him away.
       | 
       | https://mobile.twitter.com/starsandrobots/status/99426727746...
       | 
       | >DonHopkins 5 months ago [-]
       | 
       | >>Star Simpson @starsandrobots Replying to @corbett
       | 
       | >>I remember being walked around campus by an upperclassman
       | getting advice during my freshman year at MIT. "Look at all the
       | plants in her office," referring to a professor. "All the women
       | CSAIL professors keep massive amounts of foliage" s/he said.
       | "Stallman really hates plants."
       | 
       | >Star is correct: RMS really hates plants, and is afraid of
       | trees.
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | CameronNemo wrote:
         | Do you have a source for this other than a freshman on a tour
         | with an upperclassman observing a professor's office? Wouldn't
         | the professors with the plants have mentioned the reason for
         | their plant keeping once RMS was already canceled, fired, and
         | resigned?
         | 
         | This sounds like an instantiated rumor. In fact it appears to
         | have been added and then deleted to Stallman's Wikipedia page,
         | specifically being removed due to lack of a source.
        
           | DonHopkins wrote:
           | Sure, since you asked, I kept the receipts:
           | 
           | I've known RMS since the early 80's, crashed in his house
           | when visiting the MIT AI Lab, had him crash in my hotel room
           | at science fiction conventions, and I'm friends with numerous
           | people who have worked and lived with him, one of whom he let
           | stay in the largest bedroom of his house because it had a
           | menacing tree outside the window that he was afraid of.
           | 
           | And I know Star Simpson personally (the freshman who quoted
           | the MIT upperclassman who said female CSAIL professors kept
           | plants in their offices to repel RMS), and we have discussed
           | RMS's antics.
           | 
           | And RMS has personally asked me to hold the branches of
           | bushes that were leaning into a sidewalk out of the way so
           | that he could pass by.
           | 
           | So yes, I'm pretty sure first hand that RMS is afraid of
           | trees and bushes and foliage, among other quirks, and it's
           | pretty widely knows around the people who have lived and
           | worked and hung out with him.
           | 
           | Here's a photo I took of RMS holding a gerbil wrapped in duct
           | tape, just before he asked, "I don't know, why do you wrap a
           | gerbil in duct tape?" (Google it!)
           | 
           | https://www.donhopkins.com/home/catalog/images/jsol-rms-
           | gerb...
           | 
           | And here are a couple photo of my brave friend Devon, who was
           | his housemate for many years, fearlessly climbing up to the
           | roof of his house on the evil tree that RMS was afraid of, so
           | you can judge for yourself how menacing it was:
           | 
           | https://www.donhopkins.com/home/catalog/images/devon-
           | climbin...
           | 
           | https://www.donhopkins.com/home/catalog/images/devon-
           | landing...
           | 
           | And here's a true story about a funny joke that RMS made
           | about my other friend Mike and I burning down his house, the
           | one in that photo:
           | 
           | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26113192
           | 
           | >I worked at UniPress on the Emacs display driver for the
           | NeWS window system (the PostScript based window system that
           | James Gosling also wrote), with Mike "Emacs Hacker Boss"
           | Gallaher, who was charge of Emacs development at UniPress.
           | One day during the 80's Mike and I were wandering around an
           | East coast science fiction convention, and ran into RMS,
           | who's a regular fixture at such events.
           | 
           | >Mike said: "Hello, Richard. I heard a rumor that your house
           | burned down. That's terrible! Is it true?"
           | 
           | >RMS replied right back: "Yes, it did. But where you work,
           | you probably heard about it in advance."
           | 
           | >Everybody laughed. It was a joke! Nobody's feelings were
           | hurt. He's a funny guy, quick on his feet!
           | 
           | Yes, his house actually did burn down, but we didn't set it
           | on fire, hire someone else to do it, or even know about it in
           | advance.
           | 
           | And here's an excerpt from a September 1986 email from my
           | eloquent friend who he let stay in the biggest room of the
           | house with a menacing tree outside the window:
           | 
           | >RMS as God (or, why isn't the world made out of decayed
           | slugs?)
           | 
           | >What can I say? All three of us moved out of [address
           | redacted] because there was no way in hell to get him to
           | move. This is a man who has created an operating system
           | people worship slavishly as a "perfect environment", but who
           | claims he must continue to use everyone else's towel because
           | he doesn't know where to buy one himself. This is a man who
           | talks about immorality and considerate-ness, and claimed it
           | was a "special favor" to take his boots off at the top of the
           | stairs like the rest of us and not track mud through the
           | living room where we all roamed barefoot. This is a man who
           | let me have the best bedroom in the house because there were
           | trees outside the window and he was afraid of them. He has
           | mentioned to a few people that he thinks it would be neat to
           | have a daughter by some willing female and raise her up so
           | that he could have sex with her when she was old enough. This
           | man says he will never be happy until there is no more
           | purchased software, until copyright laws are totally trashed.
           | He will accept no lesser events as conditionals, and
           | disqualifies any other good things/feelings that happen to
           | him as "false happiness" or simply things that don't count.
           | 
           | >Yet I still hear people I love and respect talk about him as
           | if he were some kind of deity, as if his Free Software
           | Foundation were the noblest effort in the world. It is
           | admirable, yes. But to glorify the thoroughly sick human
           | being behind it into some sort of whole-life messianic figure
           | is unconscionable. Meeting RMS groupies was yet another
           | contributing factor to my punting of the computer world for
           | the time being. So many of the "hackers" out there (
           | _hackers_ , not crackers/urchins/destructoids) seem to have
           | their external values totally fukt. Sure, we're all entitled
           | to different values. Fine. But it grieves me to see good
           | people withering away behind a self-imposed wall of lonely
           | techno-perfection, their frantic efforts to acquire friends
           | and lovers made all the more poignant by the desperation in
           | their eyes, voice, manner. Most of them know that they are
           | lacking something important, but don't know what it is, or
           | how to get it, or who to ask for it. Many can see themselves
           | alienating people or spurning offers of friendship and
           | affection, but don't know how or why they're doing so. They
           | just look impassive and bored and in control, and damn
           | themselves silently in their minds, self-inflicting the
           | rejection and pain that they feared from the outside.
           | 
           | [She goes on, but I'll stop quoting here... And you can
           | decide for yourself if what she wrote about RMS in September
           | 1986 is accurate and authentic, and aligns with other stories
           | you've heard about him in the intervening 35 years.]
           | 
           | And here's a transcript of a bunch of people telling RMS to
           | fuck off because they didn't appreciate his pointed joke
           | about the Evils Natalism, which I then fed to Doctor in Emacs
           | to psychoanalyze him:
           | 
           | https://www.donhopkins.com/home/catalog/text/rms-vs-
           | doctor.h...
        
             | CameronNemo wrote:
             | Thanks for the details. Peculiar (as usual with RMS).
        
       | fortran77 wrote:
       | I agree, but my cats just eat them and then throw them up.
        
         | a3n wrote:
         | That's how you know they love you.
        
       | markus_zhang wrote:
       | This may be controversial but I think money is the best gift.
       | With money one can purchase whatever one wants. From my
       | experience I rarely got what I want when I received a gift.
        
         | robotresearcher wrote:
         | One of my favorite gifts was a picture painted by my son aged 3
         | of him riding on my shoulders. Our faces are yellow and we have
         | sun-rays coming out of our heads instead of hair. It's
         | glorious.
         | 
         | No amount of money in the world could have caused that picture
         | to exist.
        
         | IggleSniggle wrote:
         | The best gifts operate at a sort of conversational / semantic
         | level, where the item itself is a beautiful reminder of a
         | person that you love. The very best gift deeply acknowledges
         | both you and your likes/dislikes as a person, while also
         | finding a special deep connection to the gift-giver. Much like
         | "a picture is worth a thousand words," the perfect gift is a
         | reminder of a thousand conversations and intimate moments.
         | 
         | If you are not searching for the semantics of the gift you
         | received, then you may be missing out on the most important
         | part of the gift.
         | 
         | ...that said, I think the best gifts are still consumable so
         | that they do not burden the gift receiver, and/or are handmade
         | or cleverly devised by the giver.
        
         | Majestic121 wrote:
         | One of the main point of gift giving to me is the curation :
         | trying to find something that you think the other one would
         | like, showing that you know and understand the other person.
         | 
         | Giving money is basically completely giving up on the curation
         | part, which makes the gift extremely impersonal. It's
         | marginally better than a very bad gift, but to me it would not
         | qualify as a good gift in any case
        
         | aaron695 wrote:
         | > From my experience I rarely got what I want when I received a
         | gift.
         | 
         | Within gift giving what the receiver wants is the smaller part.
         | So already you are off track on what gift giving is. Look at
         | ideas like reciprocal altruism. Kim Stanley Robinson also
         | explores gifting culture as a system in the Mars series, see if
         | you can find excerpts.
         | 
         | > This may be controversial but I think money is the best gift.
         | 
         | This is not controversial. It's done in most cultures
         | (Including the West) in many circumstances. Like weddings, the
         | gift is very much a transaction, you gave me food, alcohol and
         | entertainment, I pay for it. Any extra thought is diluted by
         | the many other gifts, so money is often fine or a proxy through
         | a gift register.
         | 
         | But as a general rule it's wrong.
         | 
         | Literally making up small tasks to ask people to help with
         | (Forcing them to give) is a well know 'winning friends and
         | influencing people' trick. Borrowing money not so much.
         | 
         | As a base do what cultural tells you. Then if you want to be
         | better than default, really think about it or read up for
         | advice. It's good to have a few weird things about you. But if
         | you get too many you will be just weird.
        
         | allannienhuis wrote:
         | it's the thought that counts. Money often comes across as a
         | thoughtless (easy) gift, and often comes with strings attached,
         | which is why it's not often used in western culture. Money is a
         | great gift for someone who really needs it.
        
       | yread wrote:
       | unless you're married. Then it's an admission you've fucked up
       | 
       | /s
        
         | dylan604 wrote:
         | If the only time you bring flowers is when you "fucked up",
         | you've already lost.
         | 
         | Get in the habit of buying flowers regularly (weekly). You can
         | rack up enough points to stay in the bonus round with your SO.
        
         | a3n wrote:
         | As a truck driver, just about every day is just about the same,
         | so I lose track.
         | 
         | But I am sometimes reminded that it's Mother's day (the actual
         | Sunday), when I'm in a Walmart on a Sunday morning (maybe I
         | parked there the night before) and see a few men that need a
         | shave, looking over the flowers, often with a kid or two
         | tagging along.
        
       | quesera wrote:
       | Someone sent flowers to a good friend of mine.
       | 
       | Her cat chewed on a few of the flowers, and died of renal failure
       | a few days later.                 Don't send flowers that might
       | include lilys       to anyone who might have a cat!
       | 
       | Since I made it to age 30 without knowing about the toxicity of
       | lilys to cats, I feel obligated to mention this anecdote every
       | time someone talks about sending flowers.
       | 
       | I also consider it completely unforgivable that florists don't
       | mention this to every customer who is purchasing lilys (often in
       | arrangements where the customer doesn't even know the contents).
        
       | sealeck wrote:
       | Note that there are also "flower languages" which are really
       | interesting, and I would strongly recommend paying attention to
       | when sending flowers.
       | 
       | See for example Victorian flower language, etc.
        
         | intro-b wrote:
         | It's fun to learn about the different origins of flower
         | meanings, and how they differ from culture to culture. Ikebana,
         | Japanese flower arrangement, also has an interesting history
         | for those who enjoy learning about the different aesthetic
         | sensibilities, and maybe even try for themselves.
        
       | infogulch wrote:
       | I didn't like getting cut flowers because they always died after
       | just 3-4 days and it seemed like a waste. So I bought a big pack
       | of 'cut flower food' packets, and now after changing out the
       | water and adding a 9C/ packet every 5 days I can get a $6 bunch
       | of flowers to last 2-3 weeks!
       | 
       | Crystal is a common brand; I doubt the brand matters. My pack was
       | so big I wouldn't use it up for years so I split it up and gave
       | most of it away. I haven't tried but presumably you can mix up a
       | batch of sugar and bleach powder yourself, be careful handling
       | chemicals etc.
        
       | snarfy wrote:
       | About a week before valentines and mother's day, go behind the
       | flower store and do some dumpster diving. You will find hundreds
       | of roses, arrangements, baskets, etc all thrown out. The dumpers
       | will be nearly full. Grab big handfuls and pick through them for
       | all the good stuff and you'll be able to make some pretty
       | fantastic arrangements, all for free.
        
         | dmje wrote:
         | Romantic.
        
         | dylan604 wrote:
         | what about the the other 363 days of the year?
        
           | CTOSian wrote:
           | Local cemetery ? ;-}
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | leander78 wrote:
       | I disagree. If someone gifted me flowers, I would say, stop
       | killing plants for my pleasure.
        
         | arglebarglegar wrote:
         | maybe you need to get more flowers because you don't seem to
         | understand what they are
        
         | tsian2 wrote:
         | I would think twice before getting flowers for anybody who
         | likes gardening. Chances are they would prefer to receive a
         | plant.
        
           | infogulch wrote:
           | If you're not familiar with their specific garden and the
           | plants they like, cut flowers might be safer. Also it can be
           | nice to have them inside and off-season as well. As the
           | article says, "Flowers come without any obligations." That's
           | what's so nice about them.
        
           | _n_b_ wrote:
           | I am an avid gardner. I have a house full of plants, plus a
           | front and back garden, plus a patch of veg. I enjoy gardening
           | immensely. Although I do like getting plants as gifts, I very
           | much still like enjoy cut flowers, and you know why?
           | 
           | > Flowers don't take any effort on your part to be enjoyed.
           | [...] Flowers come without any obligations.
           | 
           | Just like the article says.
        
         | dylan604 wrote:
         | If cutting the flowers from the plant is killing the plant,
         | then there are going to be a lot of upset vegetarian and
         | vegans.
         | 
         | Yes, the flowers that are cut are going to wither and die, but
         | they would do this anyways if left attached to the plant. The
         | mere cutting of the flower is not going to kill the plant.
        
           | DonHopkins wrote:
           | Actually, vegetarian and vegans APPROVE of killing and eating
           | plants. It's ANIMALS that they don't want to kill and eat.
           | 
           | Or does PETA stand for People for the Ethical Treatment of
           | Asparagus?
        
             | dylan604 wrote:
             | Harvesting fruits and vegetables does not mean killing the
             | plant. The only plants that are really killed are the tuber
             | types and other plants where the root is the food, but
             | again, they are going to die anyways once the season
             | changes.
             | 
             | You're trying really hard at something, just not sure what
             | it is
        
           | lucb1e wrote:
           | I actually felt the same about it as GP (if perhaps not as
           | strongly; I still buy flowers for my mom even if I wouldn't
           | be thrilled to receive them regularly myself), but didn't yet
           | consider it like this.
           | 
           | Thanks for that comment, this makes sense. They're still
           | being grown for this purpose so it's still resources being
           | used, but yeah it's not necessarily just ripping plants out
           | of the ground which is how I (without thinking it through,
           | stupidly) pictured it. I should check how it compares to
           | other gift-type items, perhaps they're not a bad generic gift
           | at all. (Of course a gift that someone wished for and will
           | use for years is always better, but that's far from always
           | possible.)
        
         | zemnmez wrote:
         | the flowers literally die off seasonally, the only difference
         | here is that they die looking beautiful in the home of someone
         | you love
        
           | a3n wrote:
           | So do cows, eventually. :)
        
       | soheil wrote:
       | He may be underestimating the effort required to find a vase to
       | put them in; make sure you place them somewhere they don't
       | parish; if someone handed them to you now you have to go home and
       | put them in a vase or they'll die; after a few days if you don't
       | throw them out your entire home will be filled with unpleasant
       | oder. The list just keeps going.
        
         | joezydeco wrote:
         | Plenty of florists will deliver flowers with a vase included.
         | They can even decorate the vase with a ribbon.
         | 
         | It's a solved problem and a courteous touch.
        
         | allturtles wrote:
         | Yeah, like when someone buys you a Lego set and you have to cut
         | the tape sealing the box shut, and put it in the recycling bin,
         | and open all those little plastic bags. What jerks to put you
         | to all that trouble.
        
         | michaelt wrote:
         | If you don't have a vase, a drinking glass will do. I think
         | most of us could manage to fill a glass with water.
        
           | soheil wrote:
           | Not if it's a bouquet.
        
       | mrtweetyhack wrote:
       | BS. might as well be money
        
       | hamburglar wrote:
       | Was this some kind of HN ranking hack or are we really this
       | lacking in news today? Or perhaps so socially stunted as a group
       | that we need this sort of thing pointed out? Wait, maybe don't
       | answer that.
        
       | kaycebasques wrote:
       | farmgirlflowers.com does very pretty arrangements. I've bought
       | flowers from them for my partner and my mom on a few occasions.
       | Anybody else got leads on good shops?
       | 
       | Re: the article I too have learned to appreciate flowers. They
       | bring beauty. Not everything has to be useful. After spending
       | years walking through smelly cities it really is a blessing to
       | stop and smell a rose or jasmine or, my personal favorite,
       | lavender.
        
       | sneak wrote:
       | ...for people without allergies or sensory processing issues
       | related to powerful scents.
       | 
       | I personally can't think of something OTOH I'd less want in my
       | home. (I am a notorious weirdo, however.)
        
         | lucb1e wrote:
         | Do you tell people when they give you well-intended flowers? I
         | can imagine that's awkward so I wonder if I might inadvertently
         | be giving people products they don't at all want. Maybe I
         | should be asking them because it's awkward to bring it up from
         | the recipient's side, hence my question.
        
           | novok wrote:
           | It depends on the person's personality. Some will tell you,
           | and then you know, some will just say thank you and throw it
           | out when you leave or put it outside, which I think is an OK
           | compromise. Other's love flowers too. Usually the best way to
           | find out is to ask them their opinion of them.
        
       | etothepii wrote:
       | I am told that giving flowers on mother's day is rather gauche
       | since it highlights the fact you don't think of your mother the
       | other 364(5) days a year. I found a service that let me pay once
       | and schedule a delivery a month for a year solved this particular
       | problem.
        
         | a3n wrote:
         | Which (may) highlight the fact that now one never has to think
         | of her.
        
         | rendall wrote:
         | It's gauche to send one's mom flowers once a year, because this
         | implies one only thinks of her once a year. The answer is, of
         | course, to pay for a service that sends her flowers once a
         | month.
        
       | abeppu wrote:
       | But ... it's crazy that we created giant international supply
       | chains to rush around flowers so they can be gifted with no
       | awareness of season or region. Flowers are flown thousands of
       | miles, and refrigerated in transit.
       | 
       | At some point, flowers were something we appreciated in nature.
       | (It is interesting that we appreciate part of another life form's
       | reproductive cycle in a relatively non-utilitarian way). Then
       | flowers were something you could enjoy seasonally, and with a
       | connection to the land and seasons around you.
       | 
       | But at some point, we decided that it made sense for jets to move
       | flowers sometimes between continents, so you could buy roses any
       | month of the year. And that's a little amazing and a little
       | ridiculous.
       | 
       | Flowers make no demands on the recipient to enjoy other than that
       | perhaps, they shouldn't think too much about where they came
       | from.
        
         | dylan604 wrote:
         | Those jets were already being used, the flowers are just using
         | what capacity was there. It's not like FedEx/UPS/etc said we
         | need to increase capacity for flowers. Growers took advantage
         | of a service that was there to increase their sales while also
         | making them available to people that would ordinarly not be
         | able to have them.
         | 
         | Do you like fresh fruit in the winter? Do you like bananas? All
         | of these things are not normal for most people in northern
         | latitudes, yet we all now get to enjoy them.
        
           | perfunctory wrote:
           | Oh, free capacity. How nice.
        
             | dylan604 wrote:
             | Nobody said it was free. Just available.
        
           | justinpowers wrote:
           | It sounds like you are saying that air-shipped flowers ONLY
           | use excess capacity on already scheduled flights. And then it
           | sounds like you are implying the same about fruits, in
           | particular bananas in the winter.
           | 
           | This is probably not what you meant. But, if you did, I would
           | absolutely love to read the data you gathered this from.
        
             | dylan604 wrote:
             | No, I'm just saying that shipping things globaly became a
             | thing, and people started taking advantage of those
             | abilities.
             | 
             | A service was created, and it got customers. Only they
             | didn't have to pay a bot farm to create fake users to hype
             | up their service, so that may be confusing to this crowd of
             | readers.
        
         | jdavis703 wrote:
         | > It is interesting that we appreciate part of another life
         | form's reproductive cycle in a relatively non-utilitarian way
         | 
         | Flowers evolved to attract insects to aid in reproduction.
         | Accidentally it also turned out that humans would also be
         | attracted by them and aid in their reproduction by farming
         | them.
        
           | bobm_kite9 wrote:
           | Is it just accidentally?
        
             | robotresearcher wrote:
             | Yes. There's no look-ahead in evolution.
        
               | 13of40 wrote:
               | In recent centuries, flowers have evolved to be more
               | attractive to humans because we've intentionally
               | manipulated the evolutionary pressure on them. So it's
               | not accidental, but it's our volition driving it, not the
               | flowers'.
        
               | Smaug123 wrote:
               | Well, I think one could plausibly argue that the early
               | small mammals which liked to be around flowers were more
               | likely to survive because they could eat the abundance of
               | insects attracted to the flowers. That effect compounds,
               | and in general, places with lots of flowers (in the
               | ancestral environment) tend to be pretty busy ecosystems
               | full of things to eat.
               | 
               | Which is not to say that this is in fact how it came
               | about, but it's plausible enough that I wouldn't be
               | comfortable asserting "it's pure coincidence".
               | 
               | (By the way, David Deutsch asserts that flowers are, in
               | some sense, _objectively_ beautiful. I think he 's wrong,
               | but The Beginning of Infinity contains quite a bit on
               | this subject.)
        
         | SergeAx wrote:
         | Flowers are relatively easy to grow in a greenhouse. Is really
         | it economically feasible to fly them from other continent?
        
           | PeterisP wrote:
           | We ship in lots of perishable agricultural products that in
           | terms of value per weight or value per container are much
           | cheaper than flowers, they are in the same ballpark as fruit
           | and berries.
           | 
           | I recall some UK study claiming that even purely in terms of
           | carbon footprint it's more effective to fly in greens from
           | south rather than heat up greenhouses to grow them locally
           | during winter.
        
           | s5300 wrote:
           | Yup - economies of scale + cheap labor.
           | 
           | We ship a lot of animal products (I think medium sized fish
           | and chicken were some of the examples) to entirely different
           | countries to have them processed and then sent back to us.
           | 
           | I've been completely amazed at seeing assembly lines in
           | things as simple as sardine canning factories. Dozens upon
           | dozens of workers literally just shoving sardines in cans,
           | and they aren't sold for much. The tins actually cost more
           | than the sardines going in them. Absolute dirt cheap wages,
           | quite depressing to think about as somebody from the US
           | 
           | That said though, the domestic US flower industry could be
           | potentially ripe for disruption if somebody wanted to front
           | the money to do so.
        
             | SergeAx wrote:
             | Chicken is dirt cheap, like $2/kg wholesale. Price of air
             | freight is about the same on large long contracts and twice
             | of that over the counter. Hauling chicken two ways will
             | increase a final product price at least threefold. Sorry, I
             | can't believe it.
             | 
             | BTW, fish are mostly canned right in the sea on board of
             | fishing vessel or on a bigger factory ship nearby.
        
           | kzrdude wrote:
           | My memory from the flight hiatus in europe 2010 (The
           | icelandic vocano) was that roses were out of stock - couldn't
           | be flown from east africa due to the situation.
           | 
           | Random link to establish some basis facts for kenyan rose
           | industry: https://aishaflowers.com/blog/30-why-roses-from-
           | kenya-stands...
        
         | bumby wrote:
         | _" He digs through his Book of Dougs and notices a discrepancy:
         | One Doug gave his grandmother flowers and earned 145 Good Place
         | points, while another Doug did the same thing and actually lost
         | four points. It's all about unintended consequences: The second
         | Doug used a smartphone made by a kid in China, bought roses
         | raised with pesticides... Michael realizes that "every day, the
         | world gets a little more complicated, and being a good person
         | gets a little harder."_
         | 
         | - _The Good Place_ Season 3, Episode 11
         | 
         | [1] https://tvline.com/2019/01/10/the-good-place-recap-
         | season-3-...
        
       | dylan604 wrote:
       | My mom was a florist, and I had to spend a lot of my time helping
       | her when I was a kid growing up. I naturally learned a lot about
       | plants/flowers because of this. I also learned a lot of things
       | that are just nice little tidbits to use later in life (now).
       | 
       | For the guys, always have a vase on hand at home. It doesn't
       | matter much the quality/price. Whenever inviting a friend over,
       | throw some flowers in it. Even if its a bundle from the grocery
       | store. The impression it makes is well worth it. If you really
       | don't like having the flower, give them away at the end of your
       | get together. 2nd good impression from the same source.
       | 
       | As someone else pointed out, the type of flower and the color of
       | the flowers have meanings that you might be unaware. FYI
       | 
       | Some flowers are more fragrant than others, and some have longer
       | "shelf" life. Roses tend to wilt quickly, and aren't the most
       | fragant (to fill a room). Lillies (stargazers, etc) will last a
       | lot longer, and their fragrance can fill a room. ProTip: Once the
       | lilly blooms, pinch off the stamen which is covered in pollen.
       | They will drop off naturally even if you don't, but when the do
       | the pollen dust gets on everything.
       | 
       | Keeping flowers cool prevents them from opening, so if you are
       | buying something in advance you can clear out space in the fridge
       | to help prolong them.
       | 
       | If you need flowers to bloom faster because you forgot and bought
       | last second, you can try using a hair dryer to encourage them to
       | bloom. There's a method to this, so you can read up on it. Bright
       | light is your friend as well. A sunny window is perfect. Avoid
       | the cold.
       | 
       | If the flowers came with a bag of powder as flower food, use only
       | half of it or less. Use more when you change out the water. You
       | should change the water out every couple of days at the longest
       | if not daily for best results.
        
       | giardini wrote:
       | Some Chinese associate flowers with death (funeral, etc.). So
       | maybe be careful with a new Chinese girlfriend.
        
         | xenocratus wrote:
         | Also, in some cultures (Eastern Europe, I assume; Romania for
         | sure) it's considered appropriate to gift an odd number of
         | flowers (I never knew if it was about the actual flowers or how
         | many stems?), as even numbers are associated with death and
         | funerals, as you've mentioned.
        
           | Andrew_nenakhov wrote:
           | One flourist (russian one) told me that even number of
           | flowers are for funerals, because the word "chiotnyi" - even
           | number - has the same root as "sochteny" (dni) - days are
           | counted.
           | 
           | Probably it's similar in other Slavic languages.
        
           | datameta wrote:
           | Also avoid gifting someone white slippers, for the same
           | reason.
        
           | amelius wrote:
           | Sounds more like obsessive compulsive behavior to me.
           | 
           | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arithmomania
        
         | moelf wrote:
         | >a new Chinese girlfriend
         | 
         | why does this sound, off... maybe it's just me
        
           | glanard_frugner wrote:
           | relatable descriptions of people and things are now
           | problematic
        
           | dylan604 wrote:
           | I think the original post had no malintent, and you just
           | might be trying too hard.
        
           | IncRnd wrote:
           | Not the GP, but once I gave flowers to a new Chinese
           | girlfriend in college. She kindly explained how the meaning
           | differed between cultures.
           | 
           | Mentioning races is not racism.
        
             | moelf wrote:
             | not so much about mentioning race/cultural difference. the
             | new X _girl_ friend part I guess.
        
         | blacktulip wrote:
         | Specifically chrysanthemum. Other flowers are OK.
        
           | thaumasiotes wrote:
           | The chrysanthemum is also a symbol of anal sex; not
           | recommended as a gift.
        
             | Kluny wrote:
             | what
        
               | Andrew_nenakhov wrote:
               | Looks to be true, just searched it up: https://www.urband
               | ictionary.com/define.php?term=chrysanthemu...
        
         | pcurve wrote:
         | It applies to Chinese, Korean, and Japanese.
         | 
         | Avoid Chrysanthemums, white lilies, and white flowers in
         | general.
        
       | forinti wrote:
       | I think the best gifts overall are edible: wine, chocolate, a
       | nice mustard, etc.
       | 
       | You eat it, enjoy it, and it's over. There's nothing to occupy
       | space in your house.
       | 
       | If you don't like it, just pass it on.
        
         | DonHopkins wrote:
         | Smokable flowers make a great gift for people who like them.
         | 
         | And as you say, if you don't like them, then pass them on!
        
           | atatatat wrote:
           | Vaporizable! (Not "vape"able)
        
         | fragmede wrote:
         | Spoken as someone that doesn't have a ton on extra space in
         | their house, and maybe moves around semi-frequently? nothing
         | wrong with that, but let's not pretend that _either_ extremes
         | are universal.
        
           | ngokevin wrote:
           | OP did say "I think". When it comes to liking chocolate or
           | flowers, let's assume it's just an opinion.
        
       | scotty79 wrote:
       | Flowers are a strategic gift. They cost something so they
       | communicate that a person is willing to spend money (and/or
       | effort) on the good will of someone else. But once given, they
       | are worthless, so there's no incentive for the recipient to fake
       | good will in order to recive more of them just for material gain.
        
       | GEBBL wrote:
       | Guys, I have a girlfriend.
       | 
       | If I buy her flowers, she seems to really appreciate it.
       | 
       | Other suggestions, such as dumpster diving for flowers may not be
       | appreciated as much.
       | 
       | Make of that what you will.
        
         | nodejs_rulez_1 wrote:
         | Yeah, we get it: you have a girlfriend. Congrats.
        
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       (page generated 2021-09-04 23:01 UTC)