[HN Gopher] Adda as a Way of Life
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       Adda as a Way of Life
        
       Author : ramirez60
       Score  : 79 points
       Date   : 2021-08-13 14:00 UTC (9 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.bbc.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.bbc.com)
        
       | gunfighthacksaw wrote:
       | A similar phenomenon exists in the UK though I don't think it has
       | a name (crack/craic is close: "what's the crack?"), and is more
       | related to how you (and your friends) are wired, though it is a
       | common occurrence in pubs across the country.
       | 
       | North America (Canada specifically) is much less open to these
       | kinds of discussions, though that could just be my social circle
       | (or lack thereof) and it feels kind of lonely.
       | 
       | The closest thing I could compare it to is when potheads get
       | together to smoke and you end up talking about random stuff. The
       | difference being that in my experience Canadians like to stay
       | indoors and discuss safe topics eg music and other media.
       | 
       | Granted, a major driver of this when I lived in the UK was
       | boredom (and cannabis) but even when I visit my now mature
       | friends from back then, we still like to take a brisk walk and
       | shoot the breeze, just sober (OK, maybe with a few beers and
       | cigarettes)
        
         | UncleOxidant wrote:
         | > _North America (Canada specifically) is much less open to
         | these kinds of discussions, though that could just be my social
         | circle (or lack thereof) and it feels kind of lonely._
         | 
         | The US particularly is so hyperindividualistic and isolating.
         | 
         | > _Granted, a major driver of this when I lived in the UK was
         | boredom_
         | 
         | Nothing wrong with boredom that leads to long walks and
         | discussions. I think we need more of that kind of boredom in
         | the US.
        
           | nine_zeros wrote:
           | > Nothing wrong with boredom that leads to long walks and
           | discussions. I think we need more of that kind of boredom in
           | the US.
           | 
           | But then how will your existence be monetized? /s
        
         | lanstin wrote:
         | I think one point here is that people in India aren't shying
         | away from politics and religion. Robust conversations about
         | fundamental questions are the norm. (Spoken as an non-Desi with
         | a bit of travel and work experience in south India).
        
           | nine_zeros wrote:
           | > I think one point here is that people in India aren't
           | shying away from politics and religion. Robust conversations
           | about fundamental questions are the norm. (Spoken as an non-
           | Desi with a bit of travel and work experience in south
           | India).
           | 
           | This is possible because the number of people who can
           | sarcastically take on politicians is much larger than any
           | group of people feeling strongly attached to said
           | politicians.
        
           | Bhilai wrote:
           | Yep, discussion of politics is probably the second most
           | common topic, first one being Cricket. Friends and neighbors
           | agree to disagree though it has been getting quite polarized
           | these days.
        
       | maybeiambatman wrote:
       | > Adda is a beloved pastime that's unique to Kolkata
       | 
       | As others have pointed out. The idea of Adda isn't that uncommon.
       | Even the specific word, Adda, is just as native to Bangladesh.
       | The Bengali ethnicity extends beyond the Indian border. Wish the
       | author had mentioned that.
        
       | pkd wrote:
       | This phenomenon is found across other Indian cultures too,
       | although it doesn't have a name as such. There's even a pretty
       | good Hindi/Urdu podcast called Puliyabazi, whose name pays homage
       | to this practice.
        
         | yati wrote:
         | I grew up and studied in Kolkata, and have lived elsewhere in
         | India, but I haven't quite seen anything like the daily adda
         | outside of West Bengal. The article is spot on with most of us
         | not even realizing how special it is unless we move out.
        
       | vjust wrote:
       | Perhaps similar to descriptions I read about the cafes of Paris,
       | or SoHo in the artistic district, except here its not limited to
       | a certain class.
        
       | exolymph wrote:
       | Not clear on how this is distinct from simply having a fun
       | conversation.
        
         | DiggyJohnson wrote:
         | Are you from the US? This is clearly a distinct concept from my
         | American perspective because it captures the cultural
         | expectation of conversation and discussion.
         | 
         | America is a very isolated, lonely place. These fun, ephemeral
         | conversations don't happen much here.
        
         | nine_zeros wrote:
         | Adda doesn't need to be fun. Addas are usually unplanned. It
         | often involves stumbling upon an acquaintance on the street and
         | just catching up on the side of the road.
         | 
         | Imagine a spontaneous conversation with an acquaintance at a
         | grocery store but at any random place, without any capitalistic
         | purchases required during the interaction.
        
           | barrucadu wrote:
           | Isn't that a normal thing? Where isn't this done? If you bump
           | into someone you know do you just greet them and then leave?
        
             | nine_zeros wrote:
             | It's not the same. Usually American interactions are small
             | talks. Adda is literally stopping in your pace, talking and
             | hanging out for hours. HOURS. Completely unplanned.
             | 
             | The closest thing to adda in America is college
             | dorm/fraternity/sorority life. Mindless chatter for hours
             | after bumping into someone. Or maybe like a night at the
             | bar. You're hanging out for HOURS.
             | 
             | In India, you don't need a social setting for that. That
             | bear-like hanging out will literally happen on the streets.
             | Perhaps one of the reasons why the country appears so
             | crowded. People hang out outside far too much.
        
       | actually_a_dog wrote:
       | Reminds me very much of the salon:
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salon_(gathering)
        
       | supersrdjan wrote:
       | What is Adda? How is it different from people discussing about a
       | topic? I don't understand from this article, but it sounds like
       | something I'd like to know more about.
        
       | timruffles wrote:
       | Sounds wonderful! Would love if this were a thing elsewhere. I
       | don't think I've experienced anything similar since I left uni,
       | where unplanned, all-night conversations might happen randomly in
       | halls' kitchens, pubs etc.
        
       | shmde wrote:
       | Brings back memories of my grandpa. We used to roam around the
       | streets of Kolkata and surprisingly he had a tonne of friends
       | nearby. Just a walk with my grandpa to the local tea store would
       | take 2-3 hours. Because he would be busy with adda. Topics used
       | to range from why Buddhadeb (Chief minister of West Bengal, India
       | ) was not working upto the mark to why Tendulkar is the greatest
       | cricket player alive. Things also used to get heated between
       | people sometimes ( mostly due to differences in political opinion
       | )
       | 
       | Otherwise it used to be chilled out. Me, Dadu ( grandpa in
       | bengali ), warm cup of tea and indistinguishable chattering used
       | to be a big part of my summer breaks.
        
         | Bhilai wrote:
         | Kind of a same experience, my nana (maternal grandfather) use
         | to sit on his front patio every day in the evenings. He would
         | talk to people passing by on the street and sometimes a group
         | of people would gather around him and they would just chat away
         | drinking tea and eating biscuits that they would buy from a
         | hawker passing by.
         | 
         | Living in the US, thats what I miss most about India, the
         | social experience. Though the quality of life is much better
         | here. Articles like this incite that nostalgic melancholy that
         | I have learnt to suppress very well.
        
           | noduerme wrote:
           | The US is mostly a lonely, socially atomized place. When I
           | was growing up in Los Angeles, we still had a lot of smokey
           | coffee houses that would stay open until 2am or later and
           | encourage conversation. Those were all killed by Starbucks,
           | and the smoking ban, and the culture of bringing laptops and
           | cell phones and work into the cafe. We still have bars of
           | course, the last place to socialize in America, but it's a
           | different type of socialization since everyone is drunk.
           | 
           | I believe there has been major damage to the ability of
           | Americans to hold an interesting conversation as a result of
           | this change. It is almost seen now as a rare skill.
        
         | gunfighthacksaw wrote:
         | Your grandad sounds like a legend. I think this social norm is
         | a good way for people to be more engaged with their community
         | and probably helps in old age too if you have a stream of
         | buddies to chat with, who enjoy your company.
         | 
         | Better than just ignoring everyone or being seen as nuts, as is
         | the case in NA cities.
        
           | pm90 wrote:
           | Dense urban areas where residents have to walk rather than
           | drive probably helps in creating such a culture.
        
       | MisterBastahrd wrote:
       | I'm not seeing it as a unique thing. I have distinct memories of
       | my grandparents, great grandparents, and their neighbors hanging
       | out together on my great grandparents' screened porch and talking
       | for hours into the evening after supper time. For people born in
       | the early 1900s and earlier in the South, it's just what you did,
       | because the wind moved better outdoors than indoors and the
       | matriarch of the family just spent a couple hours warming the
       | house up in the summer time with her cooking. The men would sit
       | in rocking chairs with cigarettes or cigars and talk about
       | sports, politics, how their crops were doing, etc, and the women
       | would sit together on makeshift outdoor couches with dinner mints
       | or desserts to discuss their kids and the local gossip.
       | 
       | Even today, my friends and their families will get together for
       | game nights twice a week at different homes, just discussing
       | whatever comes to mind while playing board or card games.
        
       | sonigogo wrote:
       | I wish "adda" existed here in the states. In some ways online
       | forums are an online version of "adda" but in-person, thought-
       | provoking conversations can't be replicated online. It makes me
       | miss college life where you could pop into so many interesting
       | discussions whether in the dorms or on-campus. Clubhouse tried to
       | replicate this but the users can't really participate in a fluid
       | conversation. I'm just wondering if there's anyway tech could
       | enable these organic mind meetups?
        
       | asimjalis wrote:
       | How is an adda different from a normal conversation that people
       | have? I feel like the article did not explain this sufficiently.
        
         | vishnugupta wrote:
         | Speaking as an Indian, what sets apart adds is that they can go
         | on for hours together and they happen at regular frequency.
         | 
         | Say you are bored (I know it's a rare thing now a days) then
         | you know that if you go to the usual hangout place you will
         | invariably find a few people, some of whom are your
         | acquaintances/friends, gathered aimlessly conversing.
         | 
         | The group is very fluid, random people join and leave and when
         | you are sort of done you too leave. There are no rules as such
         | but people usually don't cross personal boundaries.
         | 
         | It is an essential part of being in a community. One is
         | implicitly expected to take part in such addas from time to
         | time. This is how small towns/villages operate. Or at least
         | did, I don't see it around me anymore.
        
           | rajup wrote:
           | So kind of a physical Clubhouse?
        
       | juancn wrote:
       | Argentinians do this a lot. We don't have a name for it other
       | than "juntada" (lit. gathering). Maybe is the Italian cultural
       | influence.
       | 
       | We just get together and chat, in parks, cafes, houses, wherever.
       | We even incorporate strangers into these conversations. It's a
       | great way to meet people.
       | 
       | I always assumed this was quite common in all/most cultures.
        
       | UncleOxidant wrote:
       | Don't most cultures in the world (outside of the US) engage in
       | these kinds of discussions? I lived in Italy for a few months and
       | as I was walking around the city I'd often come across groups of
       | 2 to 4 men standing on a corner engaged in a passionate
       | conversation. I might see them as I entered a store to shop and
       | when I came out 30 minutes later they'd still be at it.
       | 
       | I'm kind of envious - it's really something we don't have in the
       | US because we're such an isolated culture.
        
         | vanderZwan wrote:
         | Within Europe, spontaneously meeting someone on a casual stroll
         | outside is more of a Southern European thing than a Northern
         | European one. But Sweden (where I live now) has a strong "fika"
         | culture instead, which is basically meeting up for coffee,
         | taking it easy and catching up. So more or less the same thing,
         | it's just a bit more planned and indoors.
         | 
         | I wouldn't be surprised if the difference has more to do with
         | traditional weather conditions not being the kind where you go
         | for a stroll outside
        
         | Jtsummers wrote:
         | It happens in the US, but the physical structure of cities
         | makes it much harder. With dwindling downtown areas and a
         | preference to commute by car you have few opportunities for the
         | happenstance meeting with others (strangers and friends and
         | acquaintances).
         | 
         | The places I've experienced it in the US were on college
         | campuses, in older east coast cities with a different structure
         | than the normal US city, and smaller towns with a still
         | existing downtown (which is not all of them, many downtowns in
         | the US are strictly places of business, or worse declined to
         | just a couple government buildings).
        
         | nine_zeros wrote:
         | It's very rare in the US. Adda is quite literally wasting time
         | on conversations. It cannot thrive in an environment where time
         | is money and money is sacred.
        
           | ghufran_syed wrote:
           | The subjects of this article would probably disagree with
           | you:
           | 
           | https://www.nbcnews.com/news/nbcblk/black-barber-shops-
           | salon...
        
             | nine_zeros wrote:
             | This is close enough but the big difference between an adda
             | and a salon is that the salon is still a commercial
             | establishment.
             | 
             | Adda is such gatherings anywhere. On the streets, rooftops,
             | temples, parks, local tea stall, something called as a
             | clubhouse (yes physical clubhouses without pay for play).
             | 
             | A friend's favorite adda was a fuckin commuter train.
             | People would text each other to catch the same train and
             | just chat for 40-50 mins of the journey.
        
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