[HN Gopher] Ask HN: Best resources to support a partner with dep...
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Ask HN: Best resources to support a partner with depression?
Not sure if this is a perfect fit for HN but seeing as a lot of
people here have some good insight into mental health from time to
time, and a lot of people here have struggled. I have done a bunch
of googling and I am at a loss to find resources that are more than
just surface level. I have my own mental health issues but the
depression I've struggled with in the past has always been
something I've fixed by improving my life and prospects. So am at a
loss as my poor partner is suffering terribly and has been for a
while, and I don't think I've been a great help by just trying to
fix things in our life and situation as it feels like I'm not
really doing all that I can be.
Author : antihero
Score : 17 points
Date : 2021-08-04 20:07 UTC (2 hours ago)
| Rzor wrote:
| Since you didn't mentioned: please, seek professional help before
| you consider anything else here.
| [deleted]
| kazinator wrote:
| That's expensive, though.
|
| Professional help is basically a form of entertainment for rich
| people.
|
| It's like having a personal trainer, but for your psyche.
| Jtsummers wrote:
| That's an incredibly unhelpful attitude.
|
| More importantly, though, depression and anxiety can be
| symptoms of other ailments as well as side effects of
| medications (medications targeting non-mental health issues
| or targeting mental health issues). It's almost always worth
| going to a primary care provider to get a real diagnosis as
| it can short-circuit the recovery process if a physical cause
| can be identified (like thyroid conditions, side effects from
| birth control medications for women, and others). If these
| aren't factors, at least they've been ruled out.
| codingdave wrote:
| This is particularly important because it is easy to
| incorrectly self-diagnose. If you are having mental health
| concerns that are impacting your life, ask a professional to
| help identify what the problems really are - root cause vs.
| symptoms can be tricky if you are trying to figure it out on
| your own.
| BlissWaves wrote:
| Mhm, and what's the success rate of treating depression with
| a therapist?
| codingdave wrote:
| 90% according to a quick google search, but that was one
| study on one technique. The point is, it works.
|
| Keep in mind that "treating depression" does not mean just
| turning it off like a light switch. It tends to mean
| keeping your life under control, and simply keeping you
| alive.
| Jiocus wrote:
| > 62% of adults show improvement after psychotherapy (66%
| in CBT)
|
| and on the flipside,
|
| > 53% of adults with untreated depression show improvement
| in 12 months
|
| More statistics where that came from here:
|
| "Treatment outcomes for depression: challenges and
| opportunities" https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lanpsy/ar
| ticle/PIIS2215-0...
|
| I wish OPs partner a healthy recovery :) Depression is
| hard.
| toomuchtodo wrote:
| A professional is useful even if they have to refer you to
| someone who has to prescribe you a solution, even if it's
| ketamine recommendation.
| piertoni wrote:
| As some people said, the support of professional specialists is
| really foundamental. Be aware that with a psychologist you (in
| this case your partner, I am speaking at first person) need to
| empathize and this means that you should change specialist if you
| don't feel at ease or you don't feel suggestions good for you.
| Not every psychologist is for every one and also there are
| differents schools of psychology with different approaches, you
| have to found the good fit (my suggestion is cognitive behavioral
| school) As brudgers said you can't do the work for him/her, you
| can help for sure, but this can be difficult and being too
| protective is not a solution. At one point you should have faith
| in your partner being able to come out. But something has to
| trigger inside your partner... you can't do the job for him/her.
| Be aware of methods/techniques that claims to resolve it easily.
| Go with a psychologist, maybe you/your partner are smart enough
| to understand the cause of the problem, but you don't know right
| techniques and how to apply them properly.
|
| In general Sport helps, there was a study by an Italian
| Neuropsychologist that showed how 30 minutes of aerobic sport was
| like a prozac (I'm simplifying, but the concept is this). Do
| things, action instead of thinking, this helps.
| Konohamaru wrote:
| Don't take SSRI's. They're the worst medicine, with horrific side
| effects. Worse than antipsychotics. I lost my ability to sit
| still because of SSRI's, now I must always pace due to this
| strange inner restlessness. Learn from my mistakes.
| bookofjoe wrote:
| Allie Brosh's book "Hyperbole and a Half" for the two chapters
| "Adventures in Depression" and "Depression Part Two." Excellent
| for both depressed people and their partners. In fact, for
| everyone. https://www.amazon.com/Hyperbole-Half-Unfortunate-
| Situations...
| randycupertino wrote:
| I was actually suggested this book by someone on Hackernews and
| it was awesome for me- did more than meds and is pretty easy to
| follow: The Depression Cure by dr. Stephen Ilardi
| https://www.amazon.com/Depression-Cure-6-Step-Program-withou...
|
| I still go back and reread certain sections when I feel like I'm
| struggling.
| brudgers wrote:
| You can't fix it.
|
| You can possibly help them recover.
|
| But clinical depression is a clinical diagnosis that warrants
| clinical intervention by a trained clinician. Your role is
| supportive over the long period of treatment.
|
| You can't fix it because you are so close to the person
| suffering. Their state will make you angry, sad, etc. because of
| that.
|
| And in the end, if the person is not treating their mental
| illness there is not a lot you can do about it. In that sense,
| it's a bit contagious...not clinically of course...but in the
| sense that the mental health of the people around you can stress
| you.
|
| Good luck.
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(page generated 2021-08-04 23:01 UTC)