[HN Gopher] You can be shy and still be a CEO
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       You can be shy and still be a CEO
        
       Author : stonlyb
       Score  : 77 points
       Date   : 2021-07-29 17:56 UTC (5 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.thecut.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.thecut.com)
        
       | MomoXenosaga wrote:
       | Depends on the culture. People like Musk or Jobs wouldn't last 5
       | minutes as CEO in my country. Everyone will just move to a non
       | toxic workplace.
        
         | abz10 wrote:
         | You mean Germany?
        
         | Overton-Window wrote:
         | I can imagine the state of your country if Musk and Jobs would
         | be considered toxic there.
        
           | [deleted]
        
         | dQw4w9WgXcQ wrote:
         | > Everyone will just move to a non toxic workplace.
         | 
         | This is a silly notion that ignores the fact that there are
         | plenty of people who are both capable and want to work for
         | leaders like Jobs/Musk. Nobody forces anyone to work the hard
         | hours at these companies, and the complainers who don't make it
         | are usually all you hear about since the individuals driving
         | toward the mission are busy doing just that.
         | 
         | It's like Navy SEALS, you take any random selection of 1000
         | people, ask them how much they believe in the mission, and then
         | put them into the sieve and see which ones have the chops to
         | make it. Drill instructors would be called "toxic" too, but
         | that's the entire point of the filtering function.
        
           | ajcp wrote:
           | I remember when the WashPo was publishing all the articles
           | about Amazon workers pulling 12 hour days and crying at their
           | desks.
           | 
           | All I could think of at the time was "wow, sounds like a
           | mission oriented place, I would love to work there."
           | 
           | Of course Amazon has made it their mission to not hire me,
           | but still.
        
         | duxup wrote:
         | My attitude towards really outspoken and / or in your face-ish
         | CEOs has changed over the years. With the obvious caveat that I
         | never worked with anyone like Musk or Jobs, nor do I know what
         | they were really like / thinking.
         | 
         | I worked with some folks who were notorious at companies for
         | challenging people, speaking forcefully and so on. More subdued
         | folks like myself and others really hated them.
         | 
         | But most if I got to know weren't jerks, they weren't
         | challenging you personally as a person. They were trying to
         | push you, see if you'd push back, professionally. The folks I
         | worked with would take it very personally, and understandably a
         | lot of people do. Yet the other folks who excelled under those
         | leaders, they let it roll off their back and just got back to
         | it.
         | 
         | I've had more than one conversation of "He didn't say you
         | suck... he didn't like where you put a button."
         | 
         | Some of those guys who challenged people WANTED push back, they
         | wanted to see the other person really disagreed and had their
         | own vision. When that would happen, often they would get the go
         | ahead to do that thing...
         | 
         | One day I was honestly just tired and said something that
         | sounded like I was pushing back pretty hard and the response
         | "Ok then we'll go that route.". That was it, conversation over
         | . To that individual willingness to push back in the face of
         | opposition up the food chain meant you really believed / knew
         | what you were doing.
         | 
         | Musk or Jobs, I've no idea, but in a world where I agree
         | there's way too much toxicity, sometimes I see folks label any
         | challenge as toxic and they don't realize that it's ok to
         | disagree, and sometimes those folks want that.
        
           | danielmarkbruce wrote:
           | I'm pushy (not deliberately) and seem like a jerk to some
           | people. I've spoken to a few folks like myself and the
           | consensus seems to be we all wanted pushback but it really
           | wasn't for any other reason than we wanted to hear good
           | ideas/thoughts.
           | 
           | Pushy people probably all lack a little empathy because we
           | only care about the topic at hand. In your example - it
           | doesn't occur to many people (me..) that saying "i don't like
           | where that button is" suggests anything more than that
           | specific thing.
        
           | BLKNSLVR wrote:
           | I'm in the process of leaving a manager. I'll happily
           | disagree with a decision and present my alternative, but only
           | once, unless they specifically ask me to explain it again. If
           | I have to repeat it, it means they didn't listen properly the
           | first time, which is disrespectful.
           | 
           | One incident in isolation is forgivable, but once it becomes
           | a pattern, it's time to go.
        
           | theyarejust wrote:
           | As a passive person it took me several years to learn how to
           | push back and I deal with people who regularly challenge me
           | and I push back and challenge them. PM says deadline is not
           | movable, I say I think you can make it happen. And we have a
           | balance in power.
           | 
           | I never worked with Jobs or Musk, but from stories I read
           | about them, they are straight up bullies and sociopaths. Musk
           | told a guy who took one day off to attend birth of his first
           | born to get his priorities straight. That is not normal.
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | minikites wrote:
       | It's technically possible for most people to "be" anything, i.e.
       | to succeed in an unusual way, but I don't think that's the right
       | way to look at it. Why is our current economic environment not
       | optimized for this behavior? Why is our economy set up to
       | disproportionately reward ruthless behaviors and predatory
       | personalities?
        
       | open-source-ux wrote:
       | Being shy and being introverted are not always the same thing.
       | For some people, being introverted and being shy are closely
       | entwined. For others, being an introvert does not always mean
       | being shy or anxious in social situations. For example, an
       | introvert may find giving talks or presentations a stimulating
       | activity. These activities are typically seen as extrovert
       | activities.
       | 
       | On a somehwat related note, you can find introverted people in
       | many professions, in roles which might be associated with being
       | extroverted e.g. acting or a movie director.
       | 
       | An example: here's an informative video from introvert movie
       | director David Sandberg (director of Shazam!, Lights Out and
       | Annabelle Creation).
       | 
       |  _Can You Be An Introvert Director?_ Note: there 's a very brief
       | horror clip featuring a bit of gore in the following video:
       | 
       | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DEyFH-uzlGg
        
         | superfrank wrote:
         | > Being shy and being introverted are not always the same
         | thing.
         | 
         | Add social anxiety into that mix as well. People tend to use
         | all three interchangeably, and while there is overlap, they are
         | all different things
         | 
         | https://verilymag.com/2018/12/signs-of-social-anxiety-social...
        
         | wenc wrote:
         | I can relate. I'm very introverted in that I need a lot of time
         | alone to be in my head (the lockdowns this past year were a
         | cakewalk). But I'm not shy at all. I love talking to strangers
         | and have very low anxiety when it comes to public speaking.
        
         | cj wrote:
         | I consider myself an introverted CEO and I agree - being shy is
         | not an immutable personality trait.
         | 
         | Or maybe a better way to put it is "seeming shy" or "coming
         | across as reserved" is something you can absolutely change with
         | practice.
        
       | slap_shot wrote:
       | puff piece.
       | 
       | unrelated to the article, but im curious if this business can
       | sustain itself to another round of funding. it has been tried
       | before and does not work.
       | 
       | ecommerce stores do well when they run an ad or email promoting a
       | product that they can sell 1k/10k/100k times over.
       | 
       | a market place like this has no such inventory.
        
       | zapstar wrote:
       | I think the return of introvert CEOs and other executives and
       | leaders is coming. Remote work has turned down the "impact" (or
       | presence) of the extroverted leader. The thoughtful and
       | reflective qualities of introverts are well suited for leading
       | others and making the big decisions.
        
       | duxup wrote:
       | As an employee. I really don't care if the CEO is outgoing.
       | 
       | Honestly it is a relief when the CEO isn't trying to sell me on
       | some vision (with the exception of one CEO who was a legit
       | magical salesman) or whatever it is. Just give me my orders so I
       | can get on with it, I don't need a show / extrovert at the helm.
       | 
       | Maybe other people do and maybe the article is wrong, but at
       | least for leadership, I don't need a super outgoing guy. I just
       | want to know what he needs done / and let's go make the thing.
       | 
       | Now if the CEO is a guy who is gonna come running out onto a
       | stage screamming at a presentation, like that is who he is ...
       | that's cool too.
        
         | chadanon wrote:
         | "A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his
         | work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it
         | ourselves." -Lao Tzu
        
         | bps4484 wrote:
         | "I just want to know what he needs done / and let's go make the
         | thing."
         | 
         | I think this is the problem. It's really really hard to do that
         | at scale. Different people require different types of messages
         | in order to get it. You need to repeat your vision of what
         | needs to get done again and again and again. That can be hard
         | for an introvert. It doesn't mean you _can 't_ be shy, but I
         | think that's why it can be a challenge.
        
         | api wrote:
         | > I just want to know what he needs done / and let's go make
         | the thing.
         | 
         | "You tell grunts what to do. You tell special forces the
         | objective."
        
         | Leparamour wrote:
         | Just out of curiousity, who was this "magical salesman" CEO?
         | Some well-known face?
        
       | cryptica wrote:
       | In school, I was so shy, I constantly struggled to initiate
       | conversations and I was always playing back what I said in my
       | mind and feeling bad about how dumb it sounded. I held others to
       | a higher esteem than myself.
       | 
       | But as I grew older, the system beat shyness out of me by
       | revealing the ugliness in people. Now I don't care about what
       | people think. I even swore and shouted at my boss when quitting
       | my last job.
       | 
       | Eventually, I realized that most people are selfish idiots so it
       | doesn't matter what they think.
        
       | ALotOfBees wrote:
       | I am a shy CEO and can confirm. It can be difficult but
       | definitely doable. We currently have one employee, myself, and
       | although I sometimes have difficulty confronting him we mostly
       | get our work done.
        
         | haram_masala wrote:
         | You should probably offer him sexual favors in exchange for
         | excellent performance. I'm sure your HR department will be fine
         | with it.
        
         | shreyshnaccount wrote:
         | your username seems like a reference I know but am missing....
        
           | k__ wrote:
           | Wicker Man?
        
           | zepto wrote:
           | A can of bees
        
           | echelon wrote:
           | Maybe they just like hymenoptera?
        
           | bitwize wrote:
           | Ilovebees?
        
         | burnt_toast wrote:
         | I run a one man business and love to blame things on someone
         | else.
         | 
         | Scheduled too many jobs this week? Friggen boss is overworking
         | me again. New business cards have too small of a font? Ugh, I
         | need to have a talk with my designer.
        
       | justinzollars wrote:
       | Yes. All you need is product market fit, and ability to execute
       | on your vision.
        
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       (page generated 2021-07-29 23:01 UTC)