[HN Gopher] Glued to Your Phone? Here's How to Rethink Your Rela...
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Glued to Your Phone? Here's How to Rethink Your Relationship with
       Social Media
        
       Author : r0n0j0y
       Score  : 84 points
       Date   : 2021-07-23 09:51 UTC (13 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.npr.org)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.npr.org)
        
       | zahrc wrote:
       | Social media nowadays is not just Facebook, Twitter, Instagram
       | and TikTok.
       | 
       | There is Discord, Reddit, LinkedIn, Twitch, YouTube... I'd even
       | count HN.
       | 
       | There a many people, possibly still the minority, but very solid
       | amount of people way to invested in those
       | 
       | See those twitch donation whales, for example, the amount is big
       | enough to have sparked a more than feasible business. I wouldn't
       | call that responsible.
        
         | selfhoster11 wrote:
         | I'd struggle to place Discord, HN and possibly Reddit into the
         | "social media" category. They sure aren't dead websites and
         | they sure have a community, but they don't feel the same way as
         | Facebook, Twitter and TikTok. Maybe it's the lack of name
         | recognition that makes them feel different.
        
         | Calvin02 wrote:
         | Yeah, and if you look at all the engagement tactics that the
         | NPR, NYTimes, or the CNN apps use, they are basically saying:
         | spend your time here and not there.
         | 
         | Most of the internet is vying for your attention and asking you
         | to spend more time on their site than the others.
         | 
         | To truly come up with meaningful solutions, we need to look at
         | the entire problem. Otherwise we're just moving marbles around.
        
           | zahrc wrote:
           | I think there is not just one problem, people have different
           | needs and holes to fill.
           | 
           | The social media platforms attract different demographics,
           | because they fit in different niches.
           | 
           | The reason why people are drawn to Facebook, differs from
           | 4chan.
           | 
           | On Instagram people want to be discovered and seen, creating
           | and sharing art and take the credit for it.
           | 
           | While people go to 4chan to be anonymous, which generates
           | questionable content.
           | 
           | I personally go on HN because the community is close to home,
           | but why is that?
        
         | CogitoCogito wrote:
         | I spend way too much time reading HN and reddit. Most of the
         | time I'm not even logged in, but I'm still pretty much
         | addicted. I also don't really see any reason to treat these
         | sorts of sites differently.
        
       | mrfusion wrote:
       | I want to quit this stuff but I can't seem to find anything to
       | fill the void.
       | 
       | Time fillers for Five to ten minutes Of downtime where I don't
       | want to do any deep work since I'll probably be interrupted.
       | Maybe some kind of game?
        
         | callmeal wrote:
         | Back in the before times, we would carry around a crossword or
         | sudoku puzzle as time fillers.
         | 
         | Being quiet with your thoughts is also an option.
        
         | colordrops wrote:
         | Learn guitar. Can easily be done in 10 minute chunks, though
         | the more time you put in, the more you get out.
         | 
         | Or if you insist on looking at your phone, you could do 2 or 3
         | Duolingo lessons in that time frame.
         | 
         | Or meditate.
        
         | notapenny wrote:
         | Read something, an article or a book which is more short
         | snippets (try Marcus Aurelius' Meditations, those five minutes
         | will change your life). I have a list with a whole bunch of
         | tech topics that I could read a quick MDN/wikipedia/whatever
         | article on. If its a quick game, Call of Duty or some racing
         | game where a race only takes a few minutes. I actually find
         | taking a break and then gaming for five/ten minutes to be
         | really good for my attention since it really forces me to focus
         | completely for that time. Otherwise, just stand outside with
         | your coffee and breathe.
        
         | yepthatsreality wrote:
         | Learn to enjoy doing nothing. There's no rule that you have to
         | constantly be doing something or need to be constantly
         | optimizing your time. That's just societal anxiety talking.
        
       | elchin wrote:
       | I highly recommend Indistractable by Nir Eyal
        
       | tharne wrote:
       | I'm starting to get annoyed with these articles. Most people
       | cannot use things like smartphones and Facebook "responsibly". To
       | think you can compete with companies that have virtually
       | unlimited financial resources available to highjack your
       | attention and get you hooked is completely naive. It's like
       | telling a heroin addict to "rethink your relationship with heroin
       | and use it more moderately".
       | 
       | The only realistic way to reduce the grip of the these
       | technologies on your mind is to use fewer of them and completely
       | opt out of the worst offenders, like FaceBook, and TickTok.
       | 
       | I've deleted most of my social media accounts at this point and
       | gone back to a more basic phone and my life is noticeably better
       | for it. Sure there are some inconveniences and some people think
       | I'm a weirdo, but it seems like a small price to pay to get my
       | brain back.
       | 
       | So much of the power these technologies have over us is not that
       | they're so useful or wonderful, but that there's a social
       | expectation that we use them, i.e. people sending social invites
       | via FaceBook, stigma against the "green bubble people", etc. We
       | use them initially because of social pressure and then get
       | hooked. If even a small and stubborn minority opted out of some
       | of these technologies, say 9% of the population, reasonably
       | distributed across ages and demographics, a lot of these
       | expectations would disappear or at least reduce.
        
         | MuffinFlavored wrote:
         | > to get my brain back.
         | 
         | What do you do all day that is so different? I use social media
         | (and this website) to kill time. I have too much time as it is
         | to do nothing/nothing to capture my attention, I don't need
         | more of it just wishing I was doom scrolling on Instagram.
         | 
         | At least on this website I learn stuff periodically throughout
         | the day.
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | tharne wrote:
           | > What do you do all day that is so different?
           | 
           | I read (paper books) more, exercise more, started doing yoga
           | more frequently. I've made it a point to call friends more
           | too. At this stage in my life, time is at premium so I think
           | we're in very different situations.
        
             | MuffinFlavored wrote:
             | 50%+ of my friend interactions are me staying in touch
             | (text/ messaging) by sending them a funny meme from
             | Instagram
        
         | throwawayswede wrote:
         | This kind of article is mostly clickbait at this point. There's
         | a lot of "interest" in these kinds of topics and they attract a
         | lot of attention on -funny enough- the same social media
         | platforms.
         | 
         | I believe the main problem with those social media apps is not
         | an issue of time, but of productivity and determination/will-
         | power. Think of Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram, TikTok,
         | Snapchat, etc... These are not social networks exactly, but all
         | contain elements from it. I've deleted my Facebook account
         | about 6 years ago now and slowly got off all the other ones
         | after. Now I only use RSS to follow websites I care about. At
         | first I felt like I'm out of a lot of loops and circles of
         | friends, but I later realized that it was all useless anyway,
         | people who I care about and who cared about me still text or
         | call me. I didn't need to know about every little random thing
         | that happens in the world unless I specifically choose to know
         | about it. It later felt really liberating. People were taking
         | about who marked who safe and I just managed with a text
         | message. People talk endlessly about how good/bad social media
         | is and I'm totally out of the entire conversation. Still to
         | this day I meet people who find it very weird that I'm not on
         | Facebook, or if they are as well not on Facebook then probably
         | because they have Reddit/Tiktok/etc.
         | 
         | I can't stress this enough, but I really felt like my
         | productivity was fading away about 6 years ago, after quitting
         | I find the energy to work on the most random stuff that take
         | weeks of work, I don't get interrupted and my interest doesn't
         | fade away from over exposure to random stuff (even if
         | interesting). I've asked friends who felt the same way to try
         | to delete Tiktok (and video games from their PCs) for a month
         | to try to work on something and they all reported great
         | results. Every single one said that they wouldn't have been
         | able to do it if they didn't delete app X.
         | 
         | My point is this; it's not about time, it's about what you get
         | exposed to. If you feel unproductive (compared to what you were
         | before) or think "what could 10 minutes on Tiktok do", try
         | deleting these apps one by one. The difficulty won't be the
         | same for all people, but it'll be manageable for EVERYONE. It's
         | not about being on your phone all the time, it's about being on
         | your phone because you want to do something, not just for
         | mindless scrolling.
         | 
         | (I intentionally did not mention tracking or privacy reasons
         | from this because that's whole other beast of a topic.)
         | 
         | I love this quote from Stephen Fry:
         | 
         | > Jacking out of the matrix would cast one as a hero of the
         | kind of dystopian film that proved popular in the 70s, Logan's
         | Run, Zardoz, Soylent Green, Fahrenheit 451 ... on the run from
         | The Corporation, with the foot soldiers of The System hard on
         | your heels. We really are starting to live in that kind of
         | movie, mutatis mutandis, so surely it's time to join the
         | Rebels, the Outliers, the Others who live beyond the Wall and
         | read forbidden books, sing forbidden songs and think forbidden
         | thoughts in defiance of The One.
         | 
         | https://www.stephenfry.com/2016/04/off-the-grid/
        
         | derwiki wrote:
         | What basic phone did you switch to? I ended up getting a
         | cellular Apple watch because it's "smart" enough but no
         | distraction apps (unless you count iMessage)
        
           | paganel wrote:
           | Not the OP but I'm personally using an iPhone SE. It's good
           | enough for HackerNews and i.reddit.com but when it comes to
           | apps like FB or Instagram I get bored pretty quickly, maybe
           | the smaller screen plays a part in that, I can't tell
           | exactly.
        
             | redisman wrote:
             | I'm on the SE and it's really not curbing my addictions at
             | all. Everything works if somewhat painful because it's a
             | bit smaller. I think I'll need something much more
             | restricted
        
             | dont__panic wrote:
             | Still using a 2016 SE. I'm convinced that the small screen
             | encourages me to read more text content (by discouraging me
             | from consuming image content since it's only an OK viewing
             | experience). And whether or not a site is unusable on the
             | SE's 4" screen is an excellent litmus test of whether that
             | site is worth visiting in the first place. Sites with giant
             | popup banners that are so wide the "x" in the corner is off
             | my screen? Not worth my time anyway.
        
               | ramesh31 wrote:
               | >Still using a 2016 SE.
               | 
               | Same. And I've got 2 new ones in the box sitting in my
               | closet should this one break. I'll never buy a new phone
               | again until Apple releases another 4 inch screen. The new
               | "mini" iPhones are literally the size of an iPhone 6.
        
             | tharne wrote:
             | I used the SE for a long time too, for the exact same
             | reason, the small screen. It's a fantastic phone. I have a
             | fairly addictive personality when it comes to tech so I had
             | to end up taking more extreme measures.
        
           | tharne wrote:
           | The Sunbeam F1 Orchid: https://sunbeamwireless.com/
           | 
           | It's WAY more basic than most people are willing to live
           | with, but it's been working surprisingly well for me. Like I
           | said in my original comment, there are definitely some
           | inconveniences, no way around that, but it's been worth it.
           | 
           | Honestly, the biggest downside to using a flip phone is that
           | you start noticing exactly how much people are on their
           | phones and it becomes both creepy and annoying. You start to
           | feel like you're the last man standing in a zombie movie.
           | 
           | One thing I particularly like about the Sunbeam phone is that
           | it's sold my a small American company with amazing customer
           | service. I asked a question about the phone via the contact
           | form on the website and got a prompt and very thoughtful
           | answer from one of the owner's of the company.
        
             | benedikt wrote:
             | what's the camera like ?
        
               | tharne wrote:
               | I'd classify it as "not bad, but not nearly as good as
               | your iPhone"
        
         | rmah wrote:
         | Um, I use social media "responsibly" and it's quite easy. I
         | look at various social media sites I'm on perhaps two or three
         | times a week. Takes up _maybe_ 30 minutes of my time a week. I
         | feel no addictive urge to use them more. Most people I know may
         | use them a bit more, but not much. The only adults that I know
         | who use social media a lot more do it for work.
         | 
         | I submit that the majority of adults use social media sites are
         | using them "responsibly" (i.e. occasionally and non-
         | obsessively). My opinion (with no real evidence) is that the
         | addictiveness is overblown for most adults.
        
           | everdrive wrote:
           | You could say the same for overeating, or drinking too much.
           | Some people have no issue with overeating, but at least in
           | America most people are too fat. ie, they cannot intake
           | calories responsibly.
        
             | tharne wrote:
             | When something involves a small percentage of the
             | population, it's typically an individual issue/failure.
             | When it becomes the vast majority of people, like in the
             | case of obesity, you have to seriously consider that the
             | issue is in large part systemic. I seriously doubt, for
             | instance, that in the last 20-30 years, 80% of the American
             | population suddenly woke up and lost all willpower when it
             | comes to food, especially now that the obesity problem
             | appears to be spreading to other countries.
        
           | 542354234235 wrote:
           | >My opinion (with no real evidence)
           | 
           | Here is some actual evidence.
           | 
           | > Across mobile devices and computers, GlobalWebIndex reports
           | that we now spend an average of 2 hours and 24 minutes per
           | person, per day using social media [1] (in the US, it is
           | 2:03)
           | 
           | [1] https://wearesocial.com/blog/2020/01/digital-2020-3-8-bil
           | lio...
        
           | throwaway413 wrote:
           | "Perhaps two or three times a week, maybe 30 min"
           | 
           | Post your usage stats. No need to guess about it when you can
           | look it up in an instant and verify.
        
           | httpsterio wrote:
           | Phone use is ubiquitous and people are glued to their screens
           | even when walking down the street or talking with their
           | family.
           | 
           | Our opinions are being shaped by all sorts of propaganda we
           | encounter on every corner online and it has never been easier
           | to end up radicalized. I think it's definitely not under
           | control.
        
           | tharne wrote:
           | Perhaps we run in different circles. I constantly notice
           | compulsive smart phone use. At work it's very common to see 8
           | people load into an elevator and like clockwork 6 or 7 of
           | them will instantly pull out their phones.
           | 
           | Any little piece of downtime where folks might have to be
           | alone with their thoughts, or make small talk with people
           | they don't already know, you can see people mindlessly
           | grabbing their phones. You see this in line at the grocery
           | store, kids and adults in school while do this while class
           | starts, or the very second it ends.
           | 
           | You see a shocking number of people in restaurants who appear
           | to be on dates where both people are glued to their phone.
           | I'd certainly classify that as addictive behavior -- i.e.
           | when a healthy young man is more interested in what's on his
           | phone than he is in the attractive woman sitting across the
           | table from him. Something is very wrong there.
        
             | ed_elliott_asc wrote:
             | Im doing it at this exact moment!
        
             | adkadskhj wrote:
             | So i agreed with you until:
             | 
             | > I'd certainly classify that as addictive behavior -- i.e.
             | when a healthy young man is more interested in what's on
             | his phone than he is in the attractive woman sitting across
             | the table from him. Something is very wrong there.
             | 
             | We can definitely debate online life vs "in the flesh" -
             | but it seems small minded to me for you to suggest someones
             | preferences for experience are only the result of unhealthy
             | addiction.
             | 
             | Many would argue your allowance of modern life, from TVs to
             | cars to in city restaurants/etc. That you (or that person,
             | i guess) didn't make a home cooked meal, or go experience
             | nature together - to be an addiction to the modern and
             | lacking in down to earth, honest and real connections.
             | 
             | Not that i agree with any of that of course. My point is
             | that i think there is a perfectly valid possible course
             | where someone prefers to experience their life in cities,
             | in the woods, or in more virtual spaces.
             | 
             | The reality though, and where i agree with you - is that i
             | don't think we actually have a virtual space that _isn't_
             | fueled entirely be addiction. Powered by highly financed
             | and motivated teams of people.
             | 
             | I just think we need to be cognizant of alternative life
             | styles. Just because commonly certain lifestyles result in
             | unhealthy behavior doesn't inherently mean that lifestyle
             | shouldn't be followed at all. If that was the case i think
             | this argument should probably switch to avoiding much of
             | modern life. As it is full of unhealthy habits and poor
             | balances. We'll be living in the woods pretty soon if we
             | can't recognize the possible healthy and balanced ways to
             | live in the unhealthy-unbalanced minefield that is so many
             | alternate forms of life.
        
           | jjulius wrote:
           | There is a lot of "I" and "my" usage in your post. _I_ submit
           | that you 're only arriving at your conclusion anecdotally,
           | using a dataset (you and your like-minded peers, whose use
           | you can't actually track) that is not reflective of average
           | users worldwide.
        
         | tboyd47 wrote:
         | Agreed. The tech is just more powerful than the human will.
         | Going back to a basic phone (or even no phone) seems to be the
         | only way out of this.
        
         | ramesh31 wrote:
         | >To think you can compete with companies that have virtually
         | unlimited financial resources available to highjack your
         | attention and get you hooked is completely naive.
         | 
         | The problem is that ordinary people have absolutely no concept
         | whatsoever of what all goes into an app like Facebook. They
         | load it on their phones, open it up, and it's just a magical
         | screen that shows them images and text. There's no
         | understanding of it beyond that. They don't know that there is
         | a huge office building in California full of thousands of some
         | of the smartest people on earth who spend their entire working
         | lives and billions of dollars to figure out how to hack your
         | brain more effectively.
         | 
         | Big tech really needs the Upton Sinclair treatment. But even
         | then I doubt people will care.
        
         | yann2 wrote:
         | How is HN any different? Endless stream of attention capture
         | just like Tiktok and FB. And the people who point at the pluses
         | sound exactly like ppl on FB and Tiktok.
         | 
         | HN is a good laboratory to see if your suggestions work. If it
         | doesnt work on the few thousand here mindlessly scrolling and
         | jabbering away where is it going to work on 2 billion.
         | 
         | The chimp troupe is fucked.
        
           | tboyd47 wrote:
           | There are some subtle ways HN is different.
           | 
           | I think GP's important insight here is that people need to
           | start being selective about their social media engagement and
           | ditching their smartphones entirely.
           | 
           | I've used a flip phone for a couple of years now and I would
           | never go back to a smartphone. Having a rich interface to the
           | internet in my pocket is too addictive and does not enrich my
           | life at all. More importantly, I feel like I'm part of the
           | solution to the world's vanishing privacy problem. Yes, I'm
           | just 1 person without a smartphone against 1,000 with
           | smartphones, but by existing this way, I am preserving a
           | lifestyle of deliberate technology use that I know is
           | smarter, healthier, and worth preserving.
        
             | selfhoster11 wrote:
             | You're not alone, man. I sometimes still use my smartphone,
             | but I'm trying to ditch it completely. It's too tempting,
             | to the extent where it's life-damaging or life-destroying.
        
         | Calvin02 wrote:
         | I think you're cherry picking a bit.
         | 
         | How much time do you spend on HN?
         | 
         | HN is a social network for folks who are interested in
         | technology and general interest topics -- much like other
         | social networks.
         | 
         | Do you think that people can use HN "responsibly"? The feed is
         | algorithmic and designed to surface topics to elicit
         | responses/engagement with the community.
        
           | wpasc wrote:
           | I don't think that's an apt comparison. The difference in
           | degree becomes a difference in kind IMO. HN doesn't send you
           | alerts or notifications that are optimally spaced based on
           | A/B testing. HN isn't personalized per user to maximize each
           | individuals HN time. The HN top doesn't refresh on command
           | and provide a fully new page on each refresh (new topics come
           | up but if you refresh the page every 12 seconds you will see
           | very little change vs any engagement app that always tries to
           | give you something new).
           | 
           | HN can be a time draw, but it's based on a somewhat
           | transparent vote/flag system. Features of other social media
           | sites/apps like A/B testing, personalization, variably spaced
           | notifications, daily digests to draw you in are features that
           | are extraordinarily well designed for our dopamine-reward
           | system.
        
           | gnarbarian wrote:
           | hacker News is definitely part of the problem. I've started
           | to use three rules to evaluate habits similar to hacker news.
           | eliminate things that:
           | 
           | 1) are unproductive 2) I do not enjoy 3) are pathological
           | (This includes things that float around in your head and
           | create negative thoughts after you do it. coming back to a
           | very negative political argument as an example of this)
           | 
           | I'm not perfect at applying them but it has dramatically
           | improved my life because it has given me a tool to evaluate
           | social media use And I have successfully ramped down use of
           | social media that made my life worse.
        
           | dont__panic wrote:
           | I've done something similar, cutting Facebook, Instagram,
           | Snapchat, and all other major social media apps out of my
           | life over the past few years. I would agree that HN is an
           | issue as well, and that I should probably moderate my time on
           | it.
           | 
           | However, I also can't deny that I've genuinely learned a lot
           | from links shared on HN, and I can also attribute nearly my
           | entire push to eliminate social media from my life to HN.
           | 
           | Additionally, HN, like a few other "hobby forums" I belong
           | to, doesn't try to manipulate me to spend more time on the
           | site so it can show me more ads. It only shows me content
           | that other users have posted and shared -- unlike Facebook or
           | Instagram, I don't see an ad every 2-3 posts or comments.
           | That means something to me. Right now, all of those "hobby
           | forums" teach me more about things I care about than they
           | stress me out or piss me off or steal my time. Toward the
           | end, Facebook was just a thing that ate up 10-15 minutes of
           | my time multiple times per day. I can at least point to
           | genuinely interesting facts I've learned from browsing HN.
           | 
           | And most importantly, I mostly do it during work hours anyway
           | :-).
        
           | SavantIdiot wrote:
           | Is HN social media? It's media, its sort of social, but I
           | don't know anyone on it personally.
           | 
           | I tend think of social media as non-anonymous (onymous?),
           | because it seems far from a "real" social interaction when it
           | is a faceless (possibly non-human) text account. But could
           | just be me redefining things.
        
           | jetrink wrote:
           | > The feed is algorithmic and designed to surface topics to
           | elicit responses/engagement with the community.
           | 
           | I don't think that's entirely fair. For instance, posts with
           | a large number of comments or a high ratio of comments to
           | votes (I can't remember which) are actually penalized, since
           | that is an indicator that the topic is controversial. The
           | flag feature is another example in that it is a way for users
           | to veto low value posts that might otherwise get high
           | engagement.
        
           | tharne wrote:
           | > How much time do you spend on HN?
           | 
           | Too much :)
        
           | playpause wrote:
           | HN can be addictive, but it's different in several relevant
           | ways. It has no notifications. Its user base is relatively
           | small and industry specific. It has no infinite scroll. It is
           | plain text so it doesn't reward semi-mindless scrolling like
           | media rich social networks. It has a dead simple noprocrast
           | feature that doesn't play games. It virtually never changes
           | its design, unlike social networks that are constantly
           | tweaking things to increase engagement. In fact the people
           | who run and moderate HN seem pretty intent on slowing down
           | growth, so they can keep it focused and stay on top of
           | moderation. Of course it can still be addictive but it's in a
           | different category from TikTok etc.
        
             | Dave_TRS wrote:
             | HN is also different in that it's full of serious
             | thoughtful discussion about things that matter. It's
             | certainly addictive, but after I get sucked in I don't feel
             | the same regret as with FB because at least I learned
             | something about a variety of topics and saw what some
             | intelligent people's take was on each
        
             | tornato7 wrote:
             | To add to that, Facebook/Instagram shows approx. one
             | advertisement for every three posts you see. It's a
             | constant barrage on your psyche that I'm happy to avoid on
             | HN.
        
               | playpause wrote:
               | Good point. Also the ads aren't targeted, as far as I can
               | tell. And there's no personalised feed, it's the same
               | list of links for everyone.
        
           | selfhoster11 wrote:
           | I think HN is not social media, unless you stay long enough
           | to start recogning names in the comment section (BTW, hi
           | TeMPOraL!). It can be used responsibility, but for me it can
           | be very addictive. I try not to engage, yet here you are to
           | witness my failure.
        
       | liokoch wrote:
       | Using social media doesn't automatically qualify you to have a
       | toxic relationship with it. It depends on the person if they
       | decide to use it as entertainment. But one should practice self-
       | discipline in navigating and interactive with SNS.
        
       | qolop wrote:
       | Last year at the start of the pandemic, I stopped using Facebook,
       | Youtube, Reddit and Linkedin. Just stopped, no exceptions. It
       | took an incredible amount of discipline at first, but now it's
       | become a habit. Its had a net positive effect on my life and I
       | highly recommend others to try it.
       | 
       | Its incredible how little I'm tempted to open these apps now.
       | Once you're properly out of the hyper-addictive ecosystem that
       | they create, that's it, you're unlikely to want to get back in.
        
       | game_the0ry wrote:
       | Delete Instagram and Facebook from your phone. I did and I
       | recommend everyone do it. You can still access via browser, but
       | obviously not as good UX (which may make you less addicted).
       | 
       | I get how people can get addicted to social media apps (I got
       | addicted to FB when I was in college 2005-2007 ish), and I am
       | happy to see articles like this and other media outlets cover
       | social media addiction and spread awareness, its a big problem. I
       | would not blame the apps, though.
       | 
       | I think the real problem is that social media turbo-charges the
       | social dynamics of the real world:
       | 
       | * attention seeking - "likes" are attention, and people love
       | attention
       | 
       | * social presentation - you can present the best picture of your
       | _fake_ life
       | 
       | * envy and fantasy - men and women who think they live boring
       | lives observing the curated, filtered lives of the people they
       | want to be
       | 
       | * social hierarchy - who follows who? Prettier people having more
       | follower / friends
       | 
       | * etc
       | 
       | I fell into those traps, and fb/insta were there to indulge my
       | insecurities - but, critically, it was insecurities that fed the
       | into the addiction. I'm a different guy now - I spend more time
       | on myself than observing others.
       | 
       | I'm poorly articulating all this, but I think there is something
       | to be analyzed there.
        
         | colordrops wrote:
         | I ended up using at least Twitter and Reddit just as much
         | through the browser after deleting the apps. Had to install the
         | NetGuard firewall on my phone to block them.
        
         | dont__panic wrote:
         | Additionally, using Facebook and Instagram from your browser
         | will constantly expose you to their obnoxious "better in the
         | app!" banners that you can never fully dismiss. Just making
         | another one of their dark patterns visible enough to make you
         | (hopefully) question the intent of the company...
         | 
         | Also, Instagram ads are actually blockable in-browser because
         | they haven't bothered to update the site beyond the bare
         | minimum of compatibility updates in years. So my iPhone on a
         | VPN running a pihole made Instagram a little more bearable
         | until I noticed that none of my friends ever posted anything
         | any more.
        
           | oplav wrote:
           | I started exclusively using Instagram on my phone through
           | mobile Safari and the experience is much better. There are no
           | ads in either stories or the timeline. I don't have any ad
           | blocking set up on my phone.
           | 
           | The "Discover" section also isn't as snappy as the app, so I
           | find myself rarely using it. That section is what used to be
           | my largest time sink when I used the app.
        
       | jmd509 wrote:
       | The propositions in the article are good, although the tips
       | proposed by the Center for Humane Technology [1] are much more
       | tactical (they are apparently mentioned in the audio version, but
       | I only read the article).
       | 
       | Also, as a complete aside, I'm not sure if the third passage [2]
       | in the article is facetious or what, but I'm always surprised to
       | see credibility-destroying statements like these in legitimate
       | publications. In this day and age readers have to be ruthlessly
       | efficient in discerning reliable information/advice from
       | nonsense. They are on the lookout for _any_ reason to abandon
       | articles and content to avoid wasting valuable time and
       | attention. There is an old direct-response copywriting dictum:
       | "The purpose of each sentence is to get the next sentence read."
       | The aforementioned passage does the opposite, even though the
       | subsequent tips are pretty good.
       | 
       | [1] https://www.humanetech.com/take-control
       | 
       | [2] "I'm a Libra which means I was born to find balance, and I
       | wanted to apply that principle to my social media behaviors and
       | consumption."
        
       | FourthProtocol wrote:
       | Maybe age has something to do with it - yes, I used to spend too
       | much time on Facebook. Back in 2007. I also used to drink too
       | much alcohol. Today I just don't have time for social media other
       | than when I'm waiting for something, like a bus or train or my
       | boy to come out of school.
       | 
       | I can't program with a hangover, I can't read, I can't scratch-
       | build radio-controlled trucks. I can't scuba dive when I'm hung
       | over and I can't do Krav Maga while I'm online. I like these and
       | other things more than being online. But yes, I like being online
       | too. Pintrest is great for research when you're building a garden
       | bench.
       | 
       | I guess filling my life with meat-space things I _really_ like
       | and enjoy means I spend comparatively very little time online.
       | 
       | I do wonder what people who don't have meat-space interests more
       | important to them than being online, think about.
        
         | tetris11 wrote:
         | Pre-Corona, I'd spend approximately 2-3 hours after work
         | online, mostly working on hobby projects or catching up with
         | quick TV (40 minute shows feel like a waste of time, whereas
         | 2x20 minute shows feel more productive...)
         | 
         | Nowadays, I have no need to leave the house. My meat-space
         | activities are gone, so I poured myself into my hobby projects
         | and learned that working on what you love more than 5-hours a
         | day (out of genuine want!) quickly turns into a chore, and
         | before you know it you're in a mindless spiral of ticking boxes
         | that you arbitrarily set yourself to give the impression that
         | the time spent on said hobby/chore is meaningful.
         | 
         | I cannot wait to get back to work. I miss my 2 hour biking
         | commute, it was beautiful.
        
           | FourthProtocol wrote:
           | Interesting. I have too many ideas and far too little time. I
           | wish I didn't have to work so I could do the hobby full time.
           | Alas it doesn't pay as well as the day job.
        
       | powellzer wrote:
       | I recently deactivated Facebook (which I only ever used via web
       | browser) and since then I've been counting the number of times I
       | unconsciously end up on the Facebook login page when I'm
       | bored/killing time. I've noticed that faced with a "new tab" I'll
       | often just hit the f key and hit enter without thinking about it,
       | landing me on the Facebook login page. Before I deactivated, this
       | would result in me somewhat unconsciously scrolling through my
       | newsfeed mindlessly consuming whatever Facebook decides I should
       | see that day. I don't consider myself to be mentally weak so it
       | scares me to think about what percentage of the population does
       | this without ever realizing it.
        
         | david422 wrote:
         | That's what I do with Hacker News. Hello :/
        
           | powellzer wrote:
           | Oh I totally do this with Hacker News too, which is why I
           | typically block access during work hours. I feel better about
           | it if I'm consciously giving myself a break to read HN. Right
           | now I'm using the LeechBlock Extension which allows for timed
           | overrides.
        
         | scottious wrote:
         | > I've noticed that faced with a "new tab" I'll often just hit
         | the f key and hit enter without thinking about it
         | 
         | OMG I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I deactivated it over 6
         | months ago and I STILL have this impulse from time to time.
        
       | lifeisstillgood wrote:
       | I feel the need to start with metrics (mostly because I do worry
       | about the effect (good and bad) it has on my kids).
       | 
       | I am planning on somehow pulling screentime metrics and youtube
       | history data together - have not really got a plan but if anyone
       | fancies a few spare hours please shout.
       | 
       | (ironically those of us with kids probably have the least time to
       | scratch this itch !)
        
       | linuxftw wrote:
       | What's with all the NPR spam? Who reads this garbage? There seems
       | to be a contingent of people trying to turn HN into a
       | CNN/WaPo/NYT/NPR news feed. GTFO.
        
       | iainctduncan wrote:
       | I have a couple of hacks I use that, once developed as a habit,
       | have been enormously helpful for me.
       | 
       | 1) I never look at a general feed. (Which I means I just never
       | use Twitter as that's kind of all it has) I open FB on my message
       | url, which shows me the three things I want: messages, event
       | notifications, and a search box to go to the four or five
       | dedicated topic areas I use where off-topic posts aren't
       | tolerated. Basically all the "designed to be addictive" shit is
       | on the feed page.
       | 
       | 2) I use Stylebot on Chrome, which allows you to add custom css
       | overrides for every page. It's awesome. You can just turn every
       | thing that clamours for your attention or has "suggestions" into
       | empty whitespace.
       | 
       | 3) I don't use any of their apps. You can't control the apps the
       | same way.
       | 
       | hth
        
       | swiley wrote:
       | Just block all of it and throw out your phone. If people need you
       | they have your email and landline number.
        
       | samename wrote:
       | I recently got the app One Sec - https://one-sec.app/
       | 
       | It has been an absolute game changer for me in reducing my screen
       | time. The app is really good at changing habits - it makes
       | opening up social media apps annoying and disrupts the expected
       | dopamine hit. My app opens are way down and I'm no longer even
       | hitting my screen time limit for social media apps.
        
       | grae_QED wrote:
       | Am I the only one bored by virtually everything on social media?
       | Everything feels like its been curated for either teens or people
       | with exceptionally low attention spans. I find it all very
       | annoying (With Hacker News being the exception).
        
       | Taylor_OD wrote:
       | Take social media off your phone. Install a news feed blocker
       | that forces you to toggle on the news feed for your site of
       | choice when you want to scroll. That helped me cut my social
       | media time from 1+ hour a day to less than 15 minutes.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | mabub24 wrote:
       | One way to rethink your relationship with social media is to, for
       | lack of a more succinct phrasing, get a life.
       | 
       | I don't mean "don't be a loser", I mean have a life with goals,
       | projects, and real relationships. Once that life flowers, you see
       | social media as merely a tool for the further flourishing of that
       | life. This mindset also makes you take a hard look at the
       | connections you make through social media. Most are 1
       | dimensional, and based on emotional extremes or hits of
       | "content". Instead, follow people you actually know. Then do
       | stuff with them out in the world.
       | 
       | Doing stuff, and not just surfing social media, with other people
       | is far more rewarding than being amongst 3 billion users.
        
         | redisman wrote:
         | It's much easier than I thought as a teenager too. You don't
         | need to be doing "cool" stuff. Just go for a hike or swim once
         | a week and learn some craft like woodworking or electronics.
         | Once you start there will be decades of learning to discover
        
       | xyzzy21 wrote:
       | I've never heard a convincing argument for the upside of social
       | media. It's never looked like a good way to spend time from the
       | outside.
       | 
       | I guess this is the difference between people who look at drugs
       | and decide not to even try them vs. people who don't think about
       | any of that and promptly get addicted.
       | 
       | The connection of all social media companies to either DARPA or
       | CIA is also a strong negative trait from the get-go. Having
       | visited East Berlin before 1989 and seen what totalitarian
       | surveillance looks like and operates like, I'm a bit sensitive to
       | the sight of the same all over again.
        
         | throwaway1777 wrote:
         | I connect with a lot of people on social media that I wouldn't
         | connect with otherwise. Whether it's worth the tradeoff is up
         | for debate. Could I connect with them in some more deliberate
         | manual way like directly emailing or calling them? Sure, but
         | would I do it? Probably not.
        
       | bluGill wrote:
       | I solved the problem when I went to facebook and deleted all
       | groups (except two - both related to family events: I personally
       | know in the real world everyone in both groups). Often when I
       | check facebook now it has no idea what to show me as I've seen
       | everything, and it has to revert to showing me pictures of
       | classmates I haven't interacted with in years - which is what I'm
       | on Facebook for in the first place! Even then it runs out of
       | things to show me fast.
        
         | greggman3 wrote:
         | Same. Groups are the worst time sink.
         | 
         | Also, I have ~1000 facebook "friends" but I only follow 25 or
         | so close friends who don't post too much (except my sister who
         | posts too much). I don't find Facebook a time sync. I also only
         | follow about 10 people on Instagram so not a time sync. I only
         | check it once every 1-2 weeks.
         | 
         | I do tend to use Facebook on the desktop web browser with FB
         | Purity installed and filtering all the worst of facebook's
         | horrible time wasters like "so and so commented on X" and "so
         | and so liked Y" etc.
        
       | reidjs wrote:
       | I think people have a bad relationship with social media because
       | they use it to consume instead of produce. I changed my mindset
       | from 'social media is a place where I learn about/keep in touch
       | with my friends' to 'social media is a place where I share my
       | art, jokes, life events, etc with my friends'. I spend less time
       | on it because I go in with the mindset of 'What can I create
       | right now?' instead of just mindless scrolling. Or when I am
       | mindlessly scrolling I have more of a perspective, what do people
       | find interesting right now?
        
       | happylrac wrote:
       | I found that Cal Newport's "Digital Minimalism" book a great help
       | in making sure that my social media usage was confined and
       | intentional.
        
       | mastrsushi wrote:
       | "Navigating the internet" is dead. The majority of users are
       | swiping at 5 second videos between 5 major platforms. The rest of
       | the web is weird tabloids and abandoned blog spots. Try looking
       | up a recipe and tell me you don't get plagued with ads like
       | you're on XVideo.
        
       | ruffrey wrote:
       | > I'm a Libra which means I was born to find balance
       | 
       | While there may be good points in the article, this indicates a
       | low level of scientific rigor by the writer. Couldn't continue
       | after that.
        
         | bennythomson wrote:
         | Stopped reading as soon as I saw that
        
         | scottious wrote:
         | Yup. I usually really like NPR but I had to stop once I read
         | that. Why'd they have to say they were a Libra? They could have
         | just said "I was born to find balance". ugh.
        
         | nsbk wrote:
         | Same here. Very off-putting. How do I know that the rest of the
         | article is not just hocus-pocus?
        
           | selfhoster11 wrote:
           | You could skim it halfway into the article.
        
         | qwertywert_ wrote:
         | There is a huge rise in popularity with astrology it is
         | honestly getting concerning .. ironically social media is
         | fuelling that growth (tiktok mainly)
        
         | negroni wrote:
         | > I'm a Libra which means I was born to find balance
         | 
         | Nope. I stopped reading right there as well.
        
         | kyranjamie wrote:
         | Agreed. Instantly stopped reading at this point, and came to
         | find comments thinking the same.
        
         | yepthatsreality wrote:
         | You should also consider it a hook for people who do not
         | consider these addictive facets of social media but would
         | listen to what another astrology fanatic would say. Meaning the
         | article is not specifically for you. That doesn't make it any
         | less informational. Consider this is NPR a widely read source
         | for the layman and they're playing to their audience.
        
         | GavinMcG wrote:
         | > Couldn't continue after that.
         | 
         | Sure you could have. You even acknowledge that there may be
         | good points in the article. But you chose to prioritize
         | whatever positive feeling you got out of closing it and coming
         | back to HN to make a comment about how you'd done so.
        
           | maximus-decimus wrote:
           | What they mean is the person lost all credibility in their
           | eyes and they can't take anything they say seriously.
        
             | GavinMcG wrote:
             | I disagree, but substantively what's it matter?
        
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       (page generated 2021-07-23 23:03 UTC)