[HN Gopher] Far more adults don't want children than previously ...
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       Far more adults don't want children than previously thought
        
       Author : akvadrako
       Score  : 22 points
       Date   : 2021-07-09 17:58 UTC (5 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (theconversation.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (theconversation.com)
        
       | guilhas wrote:
       | Or maybe they cannot Afford to even think in wanting. Sometimes
       | when you can't even conceive it as a possibility, you'll say you
       | don't want it
       | 
       | Also after thousands of years, the society could be way more
       | supportive and helpful to parents. Parents are so unprepared for
       | pregnancy and to take care of the baby. Me and my girlfriend
       | spent hundreds of hours googling every fart. It is literary
       | another life of things to worry about
       | 
       | Not easy but totally worth it
        
       | mullingitover wrote:
       | Seems like a pretty rational decision.
       | 
       | - Dual income with no kids is no longer a luxury where you get a
       | free extra income stream, it's pretty much a requirement for
       | middle class lifestyle. All that extra money is hoovered up by...
       | 
       | - High childcare costs. You're both working, now you have to put
       | a dollar value on the child care that was handled by one member
       | of the household, and we're discovering that it's very expensive
       | work
       | 
       | - Then you get to the extremely costly housing, and between the
       | housing and the childcare that extra income stream for dual
       | incomes is pretty much gone
       | 
       | - Finally you get to all the other costs of living that have
       | vastly outpaced inflation: health care, education.
       | 
       | So we've made having children, which is already rough (most
       | people report a steep decline in quality of life and huge
       | increase in stress levels after having children), an outright
       | horrible financial decision. No wonder people are reacting
       | rationally.
       | 
       | We're probably headed for a Japan situation where population
       | growth flattens, the voting public is outright hostile to
       | immigration, and we end up in decades of economic stagnation. We
       | had a good run.
        
         | rayiner wrote:
         | That explanation doesn't make sense because people with limited
         | economic circumstances, such as Latino immigrants, have the
         | most children. There's been a major cultural shift among a
         | particular group of American and that explains the disparity.
         | 
         | I don't think we end up in a Japan situation. The immigration
         | boat as already sailed, and will dilute the cultural changes
         | that are limiting birth rates.
        
           | mullingitover wrote:
           | > That explanation doesn't make sense because people with
           | limited economic circumstances, such as Latino immigrants,
           | have the most children.
           | 
           | This actually makes perfect sense - in American culture
           | there's not a huge expectation for children to care for you
           | in your old age. It's expected that you'll have saved for
           | retirement, your children are a 100% drain on your finances.
           | In a lot of other cultures, your children _are_ your
           | retirement plan, and the more of them you have, the better
           | your retirement will be.
           | 
           | > The immigration boat as already sailed, and will dilute the
           | cultural changes that are limiting birth rates.
           | 
           | Immigration rates seem to have peaked, and they haven't made
           | any significant changes to our slowing population growth. The
           | general political climate is definitely not amenable to
           | increasing immigration any further.
        
       | joe_91 wrote:
       | It's going to get really interesting when the world has 1-2
       | working aged person for 2-3 retirees...
       | 
       | Not sure the old people will be able to riot on the streets or
       | anything but it will be an interesting problem for humanity to
       | solve!
       | 
       | Maybe the world will end up with all the Mormons doing everything
       | until they eventually take over since they have such large
       | families.
        
         | telesilla wrote:
         | Wealthy countries will allow for increased immigration to
         | continue access to a working class. We'll be able to pass the
         | problem for a few generations yet.
        
           | mrkramer wrote:
           | For example Ancient Rome thrived when they accepted
           | immigrants and started to weaken whey they refused them.[0]
           | 
           | [0] https://time.com/5850622/rome-immigrants/
        
       | mrkramer wrote:
       | Children are cute and once they grew up they can help you with
       | stuff in life. Once you get old they can take care of you. And
       | why the hell I would be working non stop if I have no one to pass
       | on wealth that I acquired throughout my life.
       | 
       | But some people choose comfort and good life over having kids I'm
       | fine with that but at the times you will feel very lonely.
        
       | sillywalk wrote:
       | Even the best case scenarios for the future are looking
       | increasingly grim. Some people might not want to bring a child
       | into a dystopian nightmare.
        
         | ianai wrote:
         | This seems closer to reality for me. If society wants kids it
         | needs to step up and feel more like a culture people want to
         | contribute into the future. Instead, having a kid sounds like
         | spinning a life off into a lot of harsh circumstances. That
         | kids going to need to sustain itself someday and society's
         | clearly trying to automate humans out of any and every
         | productive work.
        
       | bszupnick wrote:
       | As someone who just had a kid, I can definitely say the
       | healthcare system and daycare are HUGE expenses that would make
       | it financially tough to have another one.
       | 
       | We've paid ~$10k in medical expenses up until now, and daycare is
       | ~$2k a month (context; Long Island, NY).
       | 
       | The medical expenses PILE UP. Obviously the birth they filled up
       | my wife's deductible, but then (and I should have predicted this)
       | they started filling up our newborn's!
       | 
       | Our 3 month old then had a cold so we took him to the doctor who
       | checked for RSV and covid with one swab. We got a bill for $1600.
       | 
       | And daycare? You need a VERY flexible job to handle a kid in
       | daycare. LO gets his normal vaccines and springs a fever? He
       | needs to stay home for 2 days. Daycare also took a long memorial
       | day weekend AND the last day of June was off too for "between
       | semesters".
       | 
       | Having a kid in daycare is a part-time job with unexpected hours
       | that you pay a ton to have.
       | 
       | Thank God I work at a wonderful company that is SUPER
       | understanding because I don't know what we'd do if it didn't.
        
         | salawat wrote:
         | >(and I should have predicted this) they started filling up our
         | newborn
         | 
         | Look up embedded vs. unembedded deductible/plans.
         | 
         | Also, I may be considered an extreme example, because I'm
         | morally opposed to reven trying to rear a child until I can
         | satisfy myself I can maintain stability of a household. Looking
         | after other folks kid@s is fine, but I won't actively attempt
         | procreation til I have the process basics mostly down.
         | 
         | Yes, everyone says you'll never pull it off. No, I'm sticking
         | to my guns anyway, because I have a rather large list of things
         | people tell me will never happen, and it gets larger by the
         | day.
        
         | tibbydudeza wrote:
         | My folks lives about 5m away from us so they could deal with
         | picking them up from school in the midday , doctor visits or
         | the unexpected illness.
         | 
         | Without that I don't know how we would have managed.
        
         | fatnoah wrote:
         | It's telling that my first reaction to "~2k a month" in daycare
         | expenses was that it seemed like a pretty good deal. My son's
         | daycare 13 years ago was $2400/month.
         | 
         | It's even more telling that there's such a disparity in
         | insurance. I think the entirety of pre and post natal care for
         | my son cost us < $500 out of pocket.
         | 
         | I agree that money is a big factor. I graduated college in 1997
         | with a "large" amount of debt for the time, which was $35k. I
         | was able to pay it off in about 7 years, while still living in
         | a (very, very small apartment) in a city. My wife and I had a
         | fun 4-5 years of living debt-free and enjoying life experiences
         | before settling down and having a kid.
         | 
         | Between massive loans and skyrocketing housing costs, it's much
         | harder for the younger generation to do those things as young
         | as I was able to. I think people now are also more OK with
         | prioritizing other life experiences and feeling less pressure
         | to have kids.
         | 
         | The "time" part is very tough. We were incredibly fortunate to
         | find a day care that was literally across the street from my
         | wife's office. It didn't reduce days off or need for random
         | pickups, but it did make things a little easier. I'd say that
         | roughly 50% of PTO I've taken was for childcare related things.
        
         | aynsof wrote:
         | Why aren't Americans rioting in the streets?
         | 
         | I had a kid recently and the entire process of labour was free.
         | We even stayed an extra couple of nights. We had a midwife with
         | us the whole way through the pregnancy, and we still didn't pay
         | a cent.
         | 
         | As for leave, I got six weeks at full pay; my partner gets a
         | year (approx 60% at full time pay, 30% at minimum wage, 10%
         | unpaid - that's how she organised it).
        
           | j7ake wrote:
           | When one factors in children (one or more), the calculus of
           | which country to work/live in quickly favours European
           | countries over North American ones. At one child it's
           | probably comparable, but with multiple children it clearly
           | favours european countries.
        
           | scarby2 wrote:
           | Because they're used to it? There's also a huge disparity in
           | costs of medical/neo-natal care.
           | 
           | The poor pay nothing, the lower middle tend to get stuck with
           | a bill that they can end up affording, and the upper middle
           | and above often have insurance plans that give them great
           | care for an out of pocket that they don't really notice (this
           | is a huge generalization and actually varies )
           | 
           | As for leave many Americans take pride in not taking time
           | off. One lady i met was saying that a recent round of
           | maternal leave increases were unnecessary as she was able to
           | go back to work the week after...
        
       | confuseddesi wrote:
       | This seems almost akin to the tragedy of the commons. Society
       | needs for various reasons (e.g., to maintain and promulgate
       | culture, to power welfare and labor needs, to generally exist in
       | the next century) for people to have children at least at some
       | level above replacement rates. However, each individual couple
       | has a lot of disincentive to have children. I am not convinced
       | this disincentive is due to a lack of benefits from the state - I
       | don't see benefit-rich Western Europe doing much better than the
       | austere United States. I think we as a society and as individuals
       | simply don't value creating and raising children as one of the
       | most rewarding and important activities to be performed enough to
       | outweigh the financial, social, and personal implications.
        
         | mrkramer wrote:
         | Yea it is tragedy of the commons; even people in Medieval
         | Europe understood they need to have a lot of children because
         | agricultural workforce, craftsmen workforce, army size,
         | priesthood size, taxpayers size and like you said in general to
         | exist and inhabit some land. Because land without people was
         | and is attractive prey in the eyes of invaders and conquerors.
        
       | Camillo wrote:
       | Or just "than previously"?
        
       | [deleted]
        
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       (page generated 2021-07-09 23:02 UTC)