[HN Gopher] Why Affluent Parents Put So Much Pressure on Their Kids
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Why Affluent Parents Put So Much Pressure on Their Kids
Author : b_emery
Score : 25 points
Date : 2021-07-04 18:08 UTC (4 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (www.theatlantic.com)
(TXT) w3m dump (www.theatlantic.com)
| ElViajero wrote:
| > In part, this is because of what sort of people make up
| America's elite today: not the owners of family businesses but
| professionals with impressive educations. Family businesses are
| heritable; education, by contrast, is not.
|
| It seems that by 'rich' the article referred to professionals
| with high salary. I am not sure how much I will call rich someone
| that needs to work on a job to continue having an income.
| 'Prosperous', 'well off' sounds more accurate, but English is not
| my mother tongue.
|
| My point is that the rich, the ultra-wealthy, can pass assets and
| business to their descendants and can pay their children's way
| into exclusive institutions.
|
| I prefer a society were everybody have a minimum well being
| guaranteed and better off people just have some more luxuries.
| ffggvv wrote:
| a lot of these professionals could be making 7 or 8 figures a
| year. they don't "have" to work. they choose to.
|
| and there's much more people in this elite strata than if you
| only count the traditional ultra wealthy
| lotsofpulp wrote:
| There are a total of 358k people in the US that earned $1M+
| in 2020. Seems like a very small population to be talking
| about out of a country of 330M. There are probably only ~20k
| people earning $10M+.
|
| https://dqydj.com/income-percentile-calculator/
|
| There is a vast difference between earning mid six figures
| and "could be earning 7 or 8 figures". And there is a vast
| difference in lifestyle between those who can maintain their
| lifestyle by doing nothing and those who have to grind to
| maintain it.
| locallost wrote:
| On raising kids, Vonnegut wrote: "you have to be kind".
|
| Economic reasons might be a large factor, but they are not the
| only one. There is a lot of this even in places where there is
| much less competition. People want to see their kids succeed, and
| that alone can trigger a lot of things. I am not completely
| innocent, although nothing egregious because I know that reacting
| to your fears will mostly end up being a self fulfilling
| prophecy. But even knowing this it can get the best of you if you
| see them failing at something out of laziness too many times. If
| I have a "job" with my kids, it's to give them an opportunity to
| find their passion, but this is much more than shipping them off
| to some practice. On the other hand looking at it as a job is
| highly likely the wrong way.
| sokoloff wrote:
| I think it's absolutely a job. I often reflect on how much my
| grandparents did for my parents and how much they did for me.
| My obligation is not to make my kids more successful than me,
| but if I can help them find what they want to do in life and
| how to make that happen, I'll have succeeded at that job.
| sharadov wrote:
| Palo Alto is an anomaly and an outlier. There were a spate of
| teen suicides at the area's high schools, with a lengthy report
| by the Atlantic. If Silicon Valley schools are a pressure cooker
| then Palo Alto is 5X that. Parents working in high-pressure jobs
| who think the entire world revolves around tech and consciously
| and unconsciously passing on those messages to their kids. A
| couple years back I was at this place called Hacker Dojo, it is a
| co-working space, an older, nerdier WeWork, and has a storied
| history in the Valley. There was this startup camp for kids -
| teaching 13 year olds how to pitch companies, are you kidding me?
| Let kids be kids.
| weimerica wrote:
| I agree and disagree with your example. As a child, I was very
| big into entrepreneurship. Running lemonade stands at the pool,
| making bootleg tech-deck finger snowbords, tried starting what
| could have been Dropbox in high school with a classmate. Took
| classes on business accounting and such in high school.
|
| Having a for-kids course isn't bad... forcing your kids into it
| sure is.
| steve_adams_86 wrote:
| That's just it - I loved a lot of boring, dry stuff as a teen
| too. I went to competitions doing CAD and 3d animation. Some
| kids will gladly take a school bus for 6 hours to compete in
| CAD, and that's fine. But man, if I made my kids do that...
| They'd learn to resent me pretty quickly.
| runawaybottle wrote:
| Well, it's always easier to just make someone else do something
| to attain you things in life. Not that high up on the status
| totem pole? Make your kid climb it. It's just easier. Not that
| rich for that house? Make sure your kid brings you in on that new
| house. Never went to college, but always wanted to be a doctor?
| Make your kid do it. Force them to, drop all your bullshit onto
| them.
|
| A boss is a boss, dominance is dominance.
| raincom wrote:
| That's one way to look at the phenomenon. Parents want to have
| their kids achieve what they could not achieve due to mistakes
| or because of bad mentoring. They want to give a leg up for
| their kids. If one wants to win a game that has outsized
| prizes, people train for it, and they teach kids and grandkids,
| etc.
|
| Sure, if kids can't cope up with their pressures, either
| parents have to give up or some of these kids end up committing
| suicide.
| MilnerRoute wrote:
| [2015]
| heavenlyblue wrote:
| I kind of know (and believe) that inequality is growing. But
| reading this article makes me actually think the opposite: isn't
| that actually a good example the equality is there? That is, the
| "affluent" simply realise that their place in life isn't fixed
| and that if their kids wanted to have the same life as them those
| kids would need to work their butt off? In such a case I am very
| much not disappointed with the fact that affluent kids are also
| trying to work for that "space underneath the sun".
| pmorici wrote:
| While I totally believe that undue pressure from parents would
| cause kids to be unhappy the narrative that follows to justify
| that pressure is total non-sense. I mean they are literally
| claiming that anyone that doesn't manage to go to an ivy league
| school for college will be destine to live in poverty.
|
| It's almost like this article is a subtle dig as merit based
| admissions. Back in the day you you could get into an ivy league
| school because of who you are now those poor kids have to work
| for it, and it makes them stressed, poor them. Surprised they
| didn't advocate for getting rid of standardized testing.
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