[HN Gopher] Evolution of the Dad
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Evolution of the Dad
        
       Author : RickJWagner
       Score  : 54 points
       Date   : 2021-06-19 12:59 UTC (10 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (knowablemagazine.org)
 (TXT) w3m dump (knowablemagazine.org)
        
       | jugg1es wrote:
       | Decrease in testosterone in human males after birth is not news,
       | but I've never seen anyone suggest that the cause could be
       | decreased sexual activity as the mother heals. It is known that
       | decreased sexual activity lowers testosterone in human males. I
       | just had my third child 10 days ago so I'm right smack in the
       | middle of this. I don't feel a drop in libido, but lack of sleep
       | and the knowledge that there won't be sex for a while doesn't
       | help. I'd like to see a study that actually proves a causal
       | relationship here.
        
       | the__alchemist wrote:
       | Not directly mentioned in the article, but relevant: Richard
       | Dawkins, in at least one of his books, discusses why dads don't
       | put in as much child-rearing (in many mammals, for example). The
       | evolutionary incentives for fathers and mothers are the same (eg
       | they have equal stakes in the genes being propagated). 2
       | categories of reasons. (there may be more)
       | 
       | - Fathers (depending on species) can't be confident a given child
       | is theirs. Mothers can be confident due to giving live birth.
       | Fathers have a lower incentive to care for a given child, since
       | expending effort on offspring that's not yours is evolutionary
       | detrimental; everything has an opportunity cost.
       | 
       | - Mothers have a much higher investment in the child from the
       | moment of conception: Due to the extra food they must consume to
       | nourish the embryo, the effects of pregnancy etc. By comparison,
       | sperm is cheap. Neither parent wants to let the child die due to
       | lack of care, but the fathers are in a better position to call
       | the mothers' bluff than vice versa due to the sunk cost.
        
         | webinvest wrote:
         | Well nowadays there's inexpensive DNA tests incase your wife
         | purposefully confuses paternity. Cheap enough that you don't
         | have to go on the Maury TV show to find out. One female dating
         | strategy as old as time is to have a baby with an alpha male
         | and let a beta male raise it. However, I don't know of a
         | scenario where a wife won't get very angry if you request a
         | paternity test.
        
           | pgsimp wrote:
           | It is not necessarily legal to get such a test, and in some
           | countries (like Germany), the men are still liable to pay
           | child support even if the child isn't theirs.
        
           | vladvasiliu wrote:
           | They may be inexpensive, but they also have to be legal. In
           | France, you may only have one if ordered by a judge, which
           | only happens for a limited number of reasons, and may be
           | refused if it's deemed against the child's interest.
           | 
           | > The carrying out of a paternity test outside the legal
           | framework carries penalties ranging from one year's
           | imprisonment to EUR15,000 fine.
           | 
           | Official source: https://www.service-
           | public.fr/particuliers/vosdroits/F14042?...
        
             | gambiting wrote:
             | Wait, really? Even if both sides consent? Why does the
             | French government want to tell people whether they can or
             | not can have a DNA test if both parties consent??
        
         | watwut wrote:
         | I would point that it these are speculations and gender
         | ideologies more then science.
        
         | jrue wrote:
         | This is fascinating, but also worrying how people might
         | extrapolate too much from innate evolutionary upbringing. We're
         | social beings and there are so many examples of social
         | constructs that benefit humans as a species but run against the
         | grain of our more primal tendencies. It's still important to
         | study, and interesting nonetheless. But too often I see it used
         | as a justification for people to express certain types of
         | behavior (e.g. physical altercations, etc)
        
           | canadianfella wrote:
           | Can you provide one example?
        
         | kqr wrote:
         | This is an argument I've heard previously but in the context of
         | jealousy. The idea then is that men are on average more
         | "sexually" jealous (don't want their heterosexual partner to
         | have physical intimacy with other men) whereas women would on
         | average be more "socially" jealous (don't want their
         | heterosexual partner to have emotional intimacy with other
         | women.)
         | 
         | In case it needs to be explicit: the men in the story are
         | worried that their women may become with another man's child,
         | whereas the women are worried that the man will not remain
         | loyal and help raise their child.
        
           | pgsimp wrote:
           | How silly to frame that issue in terms of jealousy, when
           | there are actual underlying economic concerns.
        
       | User23 wrote:
       | Paternal investment massively improves outcomes, including
       | fitness, for the offspring. There is a ton of data supporting
       | this.
        
         | borski wrote:
         | Can you provide any such data, as the article disagrees with
         | you and specifically focuses on the _role_ being important, but
         | not the presence of a male father fulfilling that role.
        
       | chmod600 wrote:
       | "I think we need to take a much more nonjudgmental view of the
       | human family, and the kinds of family structures in which
       | children can thrive"
       | 
       | A strange conclusion. After spending the rest of the article
       | describing ways in which dads matter, why would the article pivot
       | to essentially say all methods are equal?
       | 
       | Different circumstances create different pressures and evolve
       | different behaviors. Choosing and socially encouraging the best
       | ones is important. Isn't that being judgemental?
       | 
       | Sure, there's room for variety. But, as a society, you should be
       | somewhat choosey.
        
         | lukas099 wrote:
         | A lot of the article was about how human behavior varies based
         | on culture, including the role of the father. It also talks
         | about studies where children without fathers had the same
         | survival rates as those with fathers, and speculates that the
         | father role might be fillable by other members of society. So
         | that conclusion was not totally out of the blue.
        
         | sudhirj wrote:
         | The studies they're quoting support the thesis that fathers
         | aren't strictly necessary for child survival, only the role
         | they perform is. So from the child survival point of view, a
         | culture or society that does not have doting fathers but enough
         | community support to fill those roles is just as beneficial as
         | one that has doting fathers. Either way works, from a child
         | survival p.o.v.
         | 
         | There may be other factors that we as a society consider
         | beneficial that we wish to promote, that need present and
         | involved fathers, and that's fine. But that doesn't mean a non-
         | involved father is bad for the survival of the child. We
         | currently based societal mores on more than just survival,
         | though, and that is a sign of progress.
        
         | [deleted]
        
       | kriskrunch wrote:
       | Can the reduction in testosterone result from increased cortisol
       | levels caused by the stress of a newborn in the home?
        
         | DoingIsLearning wrote:
         | Sleep deprivation.
         | 
         | Unless the study is controlling for that. Most of these studies
         | only control for sleep deprivation based on self reported
         | questionnaires, where parents are likely to be too optimistic.
        
           | jugg1es wrote:
           | Agreed. They need to start controlling for sleep deprivation
           | and cessation of sexual activity for the weeks after birth
           | before these studies can start suggesting anything
           | physiological.
        
       | h2odragon wrote:
       | > I think we need to take a much more nonjudgmental view of the
       | human family
       | 
       | Dunno; how many of us agree what makes a good family? "Is
       | everyone there happier and healthier than they would be
       | elsewhere?" would be my question, but a lot of people seem to
       | assume a good family is one that looks like those portrayed on
       | TV.
       | 
       | As for animals; I can speak firsthand of dog packs where junior
       | males have a lot to do with caring for the young, especially the
       | "raise the teenagers" stage. The females of that age tend to
       | stand on dignity and want nothing to do with pups, but the males
       | are willing to be chew toys.
        
         | User23 wrote:
         | Most people on the planet agree that the ideal family involves
         | both parents in a loving stable relationship who are able to
         | provide for their children's needs.
        
           | watwut wrote:
           | Nuclear family as unit isolated feom extended familly is not
           | worldwide universal nor was in the past.
        
           | zrail wrote:
           | Fascinating generalization over 7.8 billion people.
        
             | asguy wrote:
             | How about we generalize a different way: how many
             | successful societies can you name, that became successful
             | while pushing single-parent child rearing?
        
               | williamdclt wrote:
               | You implicitely changed the criteria though: you went
               | from the "ideal family", which is very vague but I would
               | understand as "a family where the members are happy in
               | their lives", to "a family model that makes a society
               | successful".
               | 
               | Optimising for the individual's happiness or for society
               | "success" conceivably yields different family models.
        
               | User23 wrote:
               | It's a bit of a brutalization of the concept of ideal to
               | reduce it to mere happiness. The junkie on his way to a
               | fentanyl overdose may very well be happy, but nobody who
               | is honest and not evil would hold it up as an ideal life.
               | 
               | It's pretty obvious that an ideal has to account for
               | externalities to be much of one.
        
               | borski wrote:
               | But "success" is a fleeting metric, is the point. In your
               | meth use example, the addiction and codependency are due
               | to a physical dependency. Child-rearing is a choice, not
               | a physical addiction. Can't compare apples and oranges.
               | 
               | Happiness is measured in happiness. We can also measure
               | health.
               | 
               | But "success" is too subjective to matter as a useful
               | metric.
        
         | sonofhans wrote:
         | > ... but the males are willing to be chew toys.
         | 
         | The perfectly describes a non-trivial amount of fatherhood for
         | me -- I'm a combination of a mobile jungle gym and a chew toy
         | :D
        
         | damagednoob wrote:
         | > how many of us agree what makes a good family?
         | 
         | I think there are things we can broadly agree on. For example,
         | reducing the number of single-parent families or general
         | delinquency. Once we solve those types of issues, we can get
         | into the relative minutae of things like screen time, etc.
        
           | developer93 wrote:
           | Why is a single parent family alone a bad thing? I could see
           | a case where a single caring parent could be much better than
           | 2 negligent or abusive ones.
        
             | compiler-guy wrote:
             | "All else being equal" is an implied assumption here. Yes,
             | two abusive parents are worse than one good parent. But two
             | good parents are better than one good parent. It is
             | probably also the case that one good parent and one abusive
             | parent is better than one abusive parent alone.
        
               | balfirevic wrote:
               | > But two good parents are better than one good parent.
               | 
               | What about 3?
        
             | damagednoob wrote:
             | Sure, add 'limiting any amount of abusive parents' to the
             | list too. I was coming from the point of view of 'all other
             | things being equal', two parents are better than one.
        
         | DangitBobby wrote:
         | We don't have kids but I see this kind of behavior with my wife
         | regarding the dog. When he gets zoomies or very playful, she's
         | likely to see this energetic behavior as "being bad" and not
         | something to engage with. Not sure how extensible my anecdote
         | is to other people's situations but it mirrors my understanding
         | of the treatment of boys in a school setting.
        
           | developer93 wrote:
           | I think in a school setting, you can't make allowances for
           | the 1 kid who is stopping the rest from learning, so
           | behaviour that might be tolerated by parents or in a 1;1
           | situation gets shut down. Just hypothesising, no direct
           | experience.
        
       | petermcneeley wrote:
       | Some "dads" employ other strategies
       | https://bumpreveal.com/blogs/statistics/genghis-khan-dna-des...
        
       ___________________________________________________________________
       (page generated 2021-06-19 23:01 UTC)