[HN Gopher] Ask HN: How did an adult ADHD diagnosis help you?
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Ask HN: How did an adult ADHD diagnosis help you?
        
       My therapist wants to explore an ADHD diagnosis, run tests and dive
       deep. My question to you is; how did this help you or impact your
       life?  I am in the later half of an adventurous and successful
       career. I continue to grow, have a long-term stable marriage, good
       savings, great life. I went to my therapist to handle a lingering
       family issue and now we've come up to the ADHD talk.  They want to
       run neurological tests, said I'm 'twice exceptional' and I see this
       as an expensive and time consuming diversion of my goals. I do
       admit that there is some validity in the idea, I do see symptoms,
       but how would this help me at this point in my life?
        
       Author : codpiece
       Score  : 176 points
       Date   : 2021-06-15 11:58 UTC (11 hours ago)
        
       | jedimastert wrote:
       | Slightly different perspective: I was diagnosed as a child, but
       | had assumed I had "mastered it" and went off meds and let it go
       | for several years. What I've come to realize is that I've still
       | had it, just that I've structured the parts of my life that I
       | could around it and let other parts suffer for no real reason.
       | That kind of fell apart (the rest of the way) when my wife had
       | her second child and a few days before I was suppose to come back
       | from paternity leave the my office shut down along with the rest
       | of the world.
       | 
       | I had to come to terms with the fact that I had not grown out of
       | it, I just subconsciously geared everything (my environment, the
       | kind of work I took on and was good at, my compartmentalization)
       | around it, and honestly not in a very healthy way.
       | 
       | (P.S. I just recently wrote a piece about my experience with ADHD
       | and how it presents to me
       | <https://aarontag.dev/2021/05/13/adhd.html>)
        
         | intpx wrote:
         | ADHD is a disease/difference of executive function-- how your
         | internal world interfaces with your external world. It totally
         | makes sense that you had a tough go of it when you experienced
         | major life changes.
        
           | jedimastert wrote:
           | Yeah, my world would have been flip-turned upside down as it
           | is. The real kicker was realizing that I had not considered
           | remote work at all when we picked our apartment. We've just
           | bought our first house and it's much better now, but trying
           | to work at ALL for the first 3 or 4 months was truly awful.
        
       | gwbas1c wrote:
       | > I am in the later half of an adventurous and successful career.
       | I continue to grow, have a long-term stable marriage, good
       | savings, great life.
       | 
       | If you're happy with your life, why change anything?
       | 
       | Assuming you're considering medication, be careful. Remember that
       | ADHD medication often very similar to methamphetamine, (or is
       | methamphetamine.)
       | 
       | Those drugs are addictive, and when prescribed incorrectly, it's
       | often hard to be objective about if the drugs really benefit you,
       | or if you just enjoy the drugs.
        
       | kmarc wrote:
       | Living in Europe, my perception (AKA: anecdotal / unscientific /
       | non-measured) is that most of the ADHD-diagnosed people I know
       | live in the US, while I only know one European person in my
       | network who received similar diagnosis from a professional
       | psychiatrist. Counterintuitively, I know way more European people
       | than Americans, which makes my perception feel even more skewed.
       | 
       | I very well know that my sample(ing method) could be wrong, it
       | can be a coincidence, etc etc.
       | 
       | So my questions are:
       | 
       | * anyone else have similar experience in their friend circles?
       | 
       | * is there a higher number of ADHD diagnosis in tech / wealthy
       | population? (considering that most of my American
       | friends/colleagues are from tech, this would somewhat explain)
       | 
       | * do I miss something obvious? (e.g. maybe Europeans would never
       | discuss their diagnosis with friends, etc.)
        
         | pjerem wrote:
         | I've been diagnosed in France at 29. I had the chance to find a
         | therapist that was aware of ADHD and transferred me to a
         | specialist at the local hospital.
         | 
         | But it looks like I had been really lucky because France health
         | authorities does not currently acknowledge the existence of
         | adult ADHD.
         | 
         | That would explain why no one in Europe talks about it. I would
         | add that since symptoms are really vague when explained, there
         | is some sort of taboo when you talk about it because ADHD is
         | just a sum of symptoms that, individually, are very common
         | amongst the population.
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | nomadiccoder wrote:
         | tech / wealthy people have more access to healthcare in the USA
        
           | mijoharas wrote:
           | That might explain why in america more people in tech are
           | diagnosed with ADHD, but would provide evidence against fewer
           | people in europe being diagnosed with ADHD than in america
           | (which is what the poster is asking about) since they have
           | more access to healthcare, and it's not income dependent.
           | 
           | To answer the OP's question, I seem to recall that people
           | with ADHD are more prone to be entrepreneurial (I believe a
           | higher appetite for risk is the general explanation). Here is
           | an article [0].
           | 
           | This would explain things if the people you know in tech
           | happen to work for tech startups.
           | 
           | [0] https://www.forbes.com/sites/dalearcher/2014/05/14/adhd-
           | the-...
        
         | macksd wrote:
         | I have similar observations, and your suggested explanations
         | seem reasonable but I have nothing but anecdata either way. I
         | have known a lot of people in tech in the US from whom I've
         | gotten the distinct impression they are formally diagnosed with
         | ADHD and perhaps on medication.
         | 
         | I have also known a lot of people who tend to self-diagnose
         | problems that I suspect they don't really have and then talk
         | about them a lot (such as ADHD). They're usually the people who
         | are fixated on vaccines and 5G as the cause of many health
         | problems, but they typically won't have much interaction with
         | "establishment" doctors on these issues. It's my impression
         | that this is more common in the US than Europe, but it's a
         | distinct issue. Not sure if some of that is mixed in to your
         | observations?
        
         | fb13 wrote:
         | At American universities, reading the DSM and acquiring an
         | Adderall script is a right of passage, unless you're wealthy
         | enough to buy them from other kids to avoid having that on your
         | medical record.
        
         | kolinko wrote:
         | Fellow European here - at least in Poland it is virtually
         | impossible to get diagnosed as an adult, and there is very
         | little knowledge of ADHD among mental health prpfessionals.
         | 
         | ADHD affects around 5% population, as various studies have
         | shown. In Poland we have virtually 0% adults diagnosed an on
         | treatmnt, and I don't know a single therapist that wI could
         | confidently recommend to a person seeking diagnosis/treatment.
         | (And I looked and asked around a lot).
         | 
         | By comparison, in SF there is a dedicated clinic for adult
         | ADHD, not to mention therapists aware of such thing.
        
         | jspash wrote:
         | American here. Lived the first 30 years of my life in the
         | States, the next 20 in France/UK and have worked (temporarily
         | at least) in most major European cities.
         | 
         | I think you are on to something with you last point. One long-
         | standing joke about Americans is that within 5 minutes of
         | meeting them you'll know more about their bank account,
         | hopes/fears/dreams, and their lower colon than you'll ever know
         | about your best European friend in a lifetime.
         | 
         | I'm not judging. We (Americans) are simply open about lots of
         | personal details to everyone. We're a bit like the golden labs
         | of humankind. If someone will listen, we're happy to talk about
         | anything.
         | 
         | Europeans on the other hand (this is another BIG
         | generalisation) are definitely much more private especially
         | when it comes to health. I've been in the UK for quite a while
         | now and I struggle to even learn the names of my neighbours two
         | doors down. Good luck borrowing a cup of sugar around here. In
         | the states I actually let someone use my shower! I knew him
         | from passing in the hallway and he had a job interview in an
         | hour but lost his keys.
         | 
         | Anyhow...I digress. #4 is my choice. Access to good healthcare
         | is NOT a cause. But I don't want to go there and start a
         | discussion on the pros/cons of socialised medicine. It always
         | ends in shouting. :D
        
           | adhdthroway wrote:
           | > Access to good healthcare is NOT a cause.
           | 
           | It is one of the causes, Europe is more than France/UK.
        
         | danielharan wrote:
         | There's a genetic component - as there is for Openness, which
         | is higher on the West than the East Coast of the US.
         | 
         | So, maybe ADHD types were the first to leave Europe for the
         | Americas?
        
         | nefitty wrote:
         | I'm American in the tech industry. A majority of my close
         | friends and I are diagnosed with ADD (I count 4 off the top of
         | my head). Some people on my work team are open about their
         | diagnoses as well.
         | 
         | It was difficult for me to admit to my family, friends and
         | colleagues that I was being medicated for ADD. It took me four
         | months before anyone besides my wife knew. The reason I came
         | out with it is because some of the struggles reared their heads
         | again. I realized that the people around me who have struggled
         | with similar problems might also need a sympathetic ear, as I
         | do.
         | 
         | Ultimately, my hesitance to discuss my diagnosis is due to fear
         | of judgement (will people think I'm lazy or a druggy?) or fear
         | that people may begin attributing my successes to the drugs.
        
         | adhdthroway wrote:
         | I live in a smaller EU country and I tried to have a
         | professional check me out, as I have a lot of problems with
         | procrastination, productivity, paying bills on time etc.
         | 
         | I tried asking around (including asking some organization that
         | deal with ADHD in children) for a recommendation for a
         | psychiatrists that deals with ADHD in adults and couldn't get
         | any.
         | 
         | After months of deliberation I finally hyped myself up to get
         | an appointment with any psychiatrist in the local hospital,
         | just to see if they will be of any help and could maybe refer
         | me to someone else. They didn't even seem to know what I was
         | talking about, said that I was obviously fine as I managed to
         | graduate from a university and recommended that I have children
         | to give me a sense of direction in life. So, yeah, good luck to
         | anyone who has adult ADHD here.
        
         | rjh29 wrote:
         | The obvious answer is that in America drugs are advertised on
         | TV, and if you see a lot of ads for ADHD medication you might
         | be more aware of the possibility that you have ADHD, and it
         | could be normalised. After all the stereotype of American
         | zombie kids on Ritalin was being bandied about 10-20 years ago?
         | Whereas ADHD is still relatively not well known in most
         | European countries.
         | 
         | The UK was the same for autism about 10-15 years ago, it was
         | barely talked about, now every class has 10-20% children
         | diagnosed with autism and we have autism-friendly hours in
         | cinemas/shops etc, nobody blinks an eye if you go out wearing
         | big headphones etc. The same may happen for adult ADHD too.
        
         | jnovek wrote:
         | One hypothesis is that, in the country where you live, there is
         | more stigma around ADHD in adults and it is more frequently
         | ignored or dismissed.
         | 
         | It is an easy condition to ignore --- adults with ADHD are
         | frequently not very "hyperactive" because even if they were as
         | children, they've learned to modulate that behavior through
         | experience.
         | 
         | The traits of inattentive-only ADHD are often written off as
         | laziness when in reality that person is experiencing executive
         | dysfunction that makes prioritization of tasks difficult. A
         | common feature of ADHD is to be frequently paralyzed by
         | indecision.
         | 
         | It's not uncommon for those first diagnosed as adults to be
         | completely blindsided by the disorder.
        
           | kmarc wrote:
           | Which raises another question:
           | 
           | - How bad can it be, if it stays undiagnosed?
        
             | webnrrd2k wrote:
             | How bad can cancer be, if it stays undiagnosed?
             | 
             | There are lots of serious conditions that, if left
             | undiagnosed, are quite damaging or fatal.
             | 
             | Plus, it's often especially difficult to see how
             | psychological/psychiatric problems affect oneself. It's
             | easy to misattribute causes or misunderstand conditions.
             | There are posts in this very discussion that tell how
             | damaging undiagnosed ADHD has been.
        
             | midasz wrote:
             | My wife was diagnosed with ADD (ADHD-I) at 20 (no points
             | for H at all, literally none).
             | 
             | When all stimuli hit you at the same level it's really
             | tiring. Someone clicking their pen, bird chirping outside,
             | someone coughing in the hallway or the classroom next to
             | you, someone picking his nose in the corner of your eyes
             | etc. She isn't able to filter them at all.
             | 
             | I've come home to the place being flooded because she ran a
             | bath but remembered she needed to do something in the
             | kitchen, and that prompted something else, etc. We've
             | fought because of little things, but those little things
             | combined with having to process every single stimuli the
             | world throws at you is difficult. If you're focusing on
             | work, or just sitting around do you even register the
             | things going on outside? She does. At the same 'volume' as
             | the thing she's trying to focus on.
             | 
             | In high school she missed more classes than she went to.
             | She was deemed lazy, dumb, and uncaring. We have three
             | levels in the Netherlands and she barely completed the
             | lowest one. Mainly because she was home sleeping, or just
             | wandering off with her mind, migraines - you name it.
             | 
             | When she had to write school reports for a specific class
             | the teacher would be baffled by the report. It went from
             | the actual subject to a few pages of an English report,
             | then a chapter of economics. I always imagined it as her
             | having to go to the bathroom, coming back and remembering
             | 'Shit I needed to write that book report for English
             | class'. Because, obviously, this was only started just
             | before or even after the deadline.
             | 
             | You'd think the schoolsystem would raise an alarm right?
             | Nah, she wasn't exactly 'trouble' as in being busy /
             | shouting / name any typical bad behaviour. She was just
             | chaotic and 'dumb'. Real easy conclusion, especially when
             | you have kids getting in fights and smoking joints - at
             | least she was trying to do her homework.
             | 
             | So she missed a lot of opportunities, felt really bad about
             | herself to put it lightly, and the migraines are a bitch
             | too. I don't know if that's how bad it can be when
             | undiagnosed but yeah. When the psychiatrist did the
             | sessions / tried medications they also took an IQ test
             | which indicated that when the world is not throwing stimuli
             | at her (well it still is, but with the help of the meds she
             | can filter it) she's actually really fucking intelligent
             | (remember the lowest level she barely passed, could've
             | easily done the highest level and moved on to university).
             | After years of hard work catching up she did complete a BA
             | and I couldn't be prouder. It's not easy believing in
             | yourself after so many years of people saying you're dumb
             | and lazy.
        
               | nefitty wrote:
               | She sounds lucky to have someone that would take the time
               | to understand her experience. Good job man.
        
               | kmarc wrote:
               | Thanks for the elaborate answer.
               | 
               | > If you're focusing on work, or just sitting around do
               | you even register the things going on outside?
               | 
               | I actually do, and took me a while to realize that not
               | everyone experiences surroundings as I do. Definitely can
               | relate to this, and some of the other patterns you and
               | others described here.
        
             | username90 wrote:
             | Its the difference between being capable of joining Google
             | and being unable to get anything better than McDonalds or
             | similar. Sure you can go through life working minimum wage
             | jobs and never see a doctor about it, but I certainly feel
             | my life is better on medication. Basically it is the "I
             | could do it if I just wanted/tried', and adhd was what
             | prevented the person from wanting/trying.
        
             | brunoc wrote:
             | It's kind of like needing to wear glasses; all you know is
             | that everything looks blurry, and as far as you know that's
             | how everyone sees. And if you struggle to see clearly,
             | well, that's your problem.
             | 
             | My guess is that it stays undiagnosed because doctors
             | aren't trained to make the connection between untreated
             | ADHD (as an adult) and the disparate consequences it has on
             | one's life.
        
         | phendrenad2 wrote:
         | In Europe, drugs cost the government money. In America, drugs
         | cost you (and your employer) money.
        
       | j-pb wrote:
       | It saved my life.
       | 
       | I went from always being clouds in the sky, never finish any
       | project, always in my head, wasting days away on social media,
       | both kind and loud and inconsiderate, and seriously depressed, to
       | somebody I can face in the mirror.
       | 
       | It's not a cure all and it took a lot of counselling and some
       | time to find the right medication but it turned my life 180
       | degrees.
       | 
       | I no longer feel like all my dreams are running through my
       | fingers, and that every new endeavour I start will end in
       | failure. I have much better personal relationships, and am a much
       | better listener with the same kindness I had before.
       | 
       | I've learned to appreciate things that I never thought I could
       | appreciate before. Working on a project for an extended period of
       | time with progress so small you barely see it, and then realising
       | how much you've accomplished over a long timeframe is such a
       | rewarding experience. Before I couldn't study, either I was
       | immediately gifted at something or I just couldn't bring myself
       | to invest time into it. Simple things like, being able to read
       | without getting bored or distracted by every little breeze, or
       | not spending every night coding because you didn't get stuff done
       | during the day and feel like you have to make up for it, is just
       | nice.
       | 
       | Don't fear medication, there's so much stigma around it, but it
       | helps more than anything else. If you got an inflamed thumb you
       | also get antibiotics. The ones I tried first were making me
       | emotionally very detached, but me and my doctor tried around a
       | bit and found something that works really well, it's part of the
       | journey.
       | 
       | Without the meds I feel like a prisoner in my own head. With them
       | I still suck at cleaning my place, I still talk over people when
       | I'm excited, and I still procrastinate regularly, but at least I
       | got enough of a fighting chance to feel like I'm in charge of my
       | life and no longer feel like a leaf in the wind.
        
         | hammock wrote:
         | What meds worked for you?
        
           | j-pb wrote:
           | Keep in mind that different ADHD medication might have
           | completely different effects for different patients, and that
           | what works for me might not work for you and vice versa.
           | 
           | That being said, I started with two doses of Ritalin
           | (Methylphenidate) with 30mg in the morning and another 20mg
           | past noon. And then switched to Elvanse(Lisdexamfetamine)
           | with a single 30mg for the entire day.
           | 
           | I'd describe the difference between the the two (personally,
           | again, mechanisms of action and cause of illness differ
           | between people), as my ADHD being like driving a car with
           | flat tires. The Ritalin gave me a more powerful motor, so I
           | could simply power through the flat tire, while the Elvanse
           | is like a spare tire.
           | 
           | Also as a general note, I prefer to be slightly under-
           | medicated than over-medicated. Ideally I'd take barely enough
           | to make me overcome my inner barrier, and then work from
           | there with taking breaks, going by my own timing, doing
           | sports e.t.c. which then act as a compounding and self
           | reinforcing positive feedback loop.
        
       | nomadiccoder wrote:
       | My doctor tells me that there is some theories that ADHD may be
       | an evolutionary response to dangers in our environment. (like
       | avoiding lions or being alerted to changes in weather) When I
       | think about it this way I feel better about rejecting medications
       | (or accepting them). Personally just understanding the pros/cons
       | of ADHD has helped me identify some of my shortcomings. For
       | example, I can focus for days on the _wrong_ topic, so I need to
       | be aware of this so I don 't work on something unimportant and
       | then get burned out. When I don't know the right thing to work on
       | and break it into concrete steps I find myself unable to
       | accomplish anything at all for days or weeks jumping from task to
       | task every 5 mins.
       | 
       | So I suggest you explore this to learn about yourself so that you
       | can take the newfound information to make the best steps toward
       | your personal/career/etc goals. That may be disregarding
       | everything they suggest and refusing treatment, but understanding
       | more about yourself and how your mind works cant be a bad thing
       | can it?
        
         | Ensorceled wrote:
         | > So I suggest you explore this to learn about yourself so that
         | you can take the newfound information to make the best steps
         | toward your personal/career/etc goals. That may be disregarding
         | everything they suggest and refusing treatment, but
         | understanding more about yourself and how your mind works cant
         | be a bad thing can it?
         | 
         | I did that for 50 years before the diagnosis, I decided to try
         | what my therapist suggested.
        
         | codpiece wrote:
         | Thank you! I do agree that, researching, I see that there are
         | things that have been nagging me for years, but not enough to
         | really need a fix. I work in technical and creative capacities,
         | so I don't to dull an edge with medication.
        
       | Azeralthefallen wrote:
       | Without it i would have never been able to succeed in life. For
       | me it was the single greatest decision i have ever made in my
       | life. I simply could not focus on anything important, I was a
       | miserable mess.
       | 
       | I was a consistent grade D student in high school, I was that
       | werido in class who everyone hated. In my final year my parents
       | realizing I was not going to have a great future, decided to
       | bring me to our doctor, I was prescribed Dexedrine for ADHD.
       | 
       | That Pill completely and utterly changed me in my final year, i
       | could think clearly. I understood what was being said, it
       | completely changed me. I suddenly decided to go to University for
       | CS, forcing me to do a victory lap in high school. I was able to
       | get into University on an amazing scholarship.
       | 
       | However the biggest thing was the few people who i was vaguely
       | friends with me praised my 180 personality change, they liked
       | being my friend.
       | 
       | I am now 36 years old taking the same dose of meds i have been
       | for the last 20 years. It works for me, immensely. At the same
       | time there is a huge stigma around ADHD medication. My ex hated
       | the idea of me taking meds saying its big pharma pushing this, i
       | don't need this, i just need exercise, etc. She changed her tune
       | after she saw me not on my medication.
       | 
       | I know there are probably people out there that don't need this
       | or abuse it. Sure, but that is true for almost everything.
        
       | Cthulhu_ wrote:
       | You may have "non-problematic" ADHD, or not consider it a
       | problem. But there may be a few things you struggle with that you
       | aren't telling.
       | 
       | Emotional stability. My girlfriend had massive ups and downs,
       | almost bipolar; the medication (slow release, concerta or its
       | cheaper but equivalent alternative) evened things out. I have a
       | friend who doesn't want the diagnosis or treatment because he's
       | fine with it, and you can tell he struggles with keeping his
       | emotions under control. He mainly gets really frustrated and
       | loses his patience if things aren't going as fast as he wants to.
       | 
       | The other one is getting overwhelmed and/or having meltdowns,
       | because one comorbidity of ADHD is sensory processing disorder.
       | It's things like grocery stores with music and children screaming
       | that can get too much.
       | 
       | Another one is things being "loud / busy" in your head,
       | maddeningly so. I've heard that taking the meds quiets things
       | down, and it's a relief.
       | 
       | Anyway, a diagnosis won't hurt, it'll improve your self-
       | awareness. You won't be forced to take medication or anything if
       | you don't want to. A diagnosis is usually a questionnaire and a
       | "take this ritalin and tell me how you feel in a bit".
        
         | toxik wrote:
         | So you, a non-professional, casually diagnosed your friend with
         | ADHD, and then went on to explain his behavior with this.
         | 
         | If there's one thing my psychologist friends tell me not to do,
         | it's exactly this: make up diagnoses for myself and others
         | around me to explain behaviors post hoc.
        
         | Taylor_OD wrote:
         | >> Another one is things being "loud / busy" in your head,
         | maddeningly so. I've heard that taking the meds quiets things
         | down, and it's a relief.
         | 
         | This is a big one for me. I pretty much always have a podcast
         | or audiobook going because otherwise my head is just so loud
         | and non directed. I'll have some fragment of a song repeating
         | in my head for 9 hours straight and I don't even realize it
         | until my partner tells me to stop humming it.
        
         | codpiece wrote:
         | Getting overwhelmed is totally spot-on. I do need to remove
         | myself on occasions. My family always remarks on my sensitive
         | hearing and sense of smell.
        
           | jbotz wrote:
           | Hypersensitive sense of smell and hearing, plus need for
           | solitude, and you mentioned in another comment "hyperempathy"
           | when listening to people... could be autistic spectrum. Often
           | comes hand-in-hand with some ADHD symptoms as well. Do you
           | have difficulty reading people's facial expressions, or at
           | least did as a child?
        
             | codpiece wrote:
             | I don't. In fact, people often look to me for more nuanced
             | interpretations during meetings and social interactions.
        
       | okprod wrote:
       | What kind of doctor to you go to to get a diagnosis?
        
       | RyJones wrote:
       | Restored my sense of agency, which has changed my life for the
       | better
        
       | mlac wrote:
       | I spoke to my doctor last year about this, was referred to a
       | therapist, and was diagnosed (I'm a bit younger (32) and like you
       | continue to grow, have a long-term stable marriage, good savings,
       | great life. There were a lot of signs, but primarily I had
       | trouble staying focused even for a few minutes. To have a
       | productive morning and not get derailed, I would need to have an
       | app like Routinery to walk me through what I needed to do step by
       | step before work.
       | 
       | I decided against medication for a few reasons, but to deal with
       | it is a daily exercise. I have to put up guardrails or I can lose
       | hours / day with distracted activity. I find it's tightly
       | correlated to how much time I spend on technology.
       | 
       | Meditation, prayer, down time from technology (physical news
       | paper and Economist in the mornings) all help to start the day
       | focused. I'm considering re-arranging the house to have a room
       | dedicated to technology and everything else in the house be low-
       | tech, higher quality forms of recreation (books, musical
       | instruments, board games, etc). That will, in theory, allow me to
       | put time boundaries on how often I'm around technology. Another
       | big thing I did was stop drinking. I did an A/B test at the start
       | of 2020 - 2 months not drinking followed by 4 months of drinking,
       | and by June I decided I was done. I still taste different things
       | if my wife has one or I'm making drinks for others, but haven't
       | had a full drink since last June. NA beers have been great.
       | 
       | Books that helped me: make time, essentialism, digital
       | minimalism, (an extreme but easy read recommended on here) -
       | "better off"
       | 
       | Part of my hesitancy for medicine was that I didn't want it
       | rooted in self-improvement / optimization. I think there was some
       | burn out mixed in and I was looking for the next step to
       | optimization with medicine. I figured it would be better to fix
       | the system rather than over-optimize for what I was doing. If I
       | can't naturally deal with it, then maybe I shouldn't be running
       | that hard.
       | 
       | If I get two-three hours of focus now per day it's great.
       | 
       | Perfect is the enemy of the good, and I am generally happy and
       | see no need for that much optimization. If it was really
       | impacting my work and life, I'd reconsider medicine.
        
         | codpiece wrote:
         | You and I share similar methods! Most of my technology is in
         | the office, and we are surrounded by books and musical
         | instruments. I am an artist (designer by trade, moved into
         | technology consulting).
         | 
         | I definitely agree with drinking (and weed), it is very
         | negative, and the effects last days for me.
        
       | salmo wrote:
       | I got a diagnosis when I was in college (inattentive type,
       | definitely not hyperactive). It was a bit of a rollercoaster for
       | me.
       | 
       | I also have anxiety and disthymeia, so meds were complicated.
       | Stimulants send my anxiety out of control. Ultimately, I'm
       | unmedicated for the ADHD, now.
       | 
       | It's been 20 years, and I'll admit, I fear any major med changes,
       | because it can be ~1 year to get it all worked out.
       | 
       | I would say, make sure you are working with a psychiatrist who
       | specializes in ADHD and a psychologist who will partner with them
       | to aid your treatment. Their experience is key and can save you a
       | lot of time struggling with meds, I wish I did that from day 1. I
       | originally started with a PCP and then psychologist + PCP and
       | really struggled from bad treatment advice.
       | 
       | I was "smart enough" for it to not seriously impact me until
       | later in college. I would dive into 1 class and neglect the rest.
       | 
       | But my career is pretty tolerant of it. In some ways it is an
       | asset. I have developed a ton of coping mechanisms to compensate,
       | and have also learned to build in time to let myself go. It took
       | me a while time to "forgive myself" for needing that, but a good
       | therapist who also had ADHD helped me.
       | 
       | Taking sensory breaks is really important for me. Shifting to
       | working from home meant I had to learn when I should take breaks
       | from notification overload. I only allow my calendar to notify me
       | then. I do benefit from working with people who really know me
       | and help support.
       | 
       | I also cannot track time internally (I do not know if that is
       | common or not). So making sure to schedule things like lunch has
       | been important. It's easy for me to get lost.
       | 
       | My wife is also amazingly supportive. We complement each other
       | very well and have for years. We are very communicative and that
       | has helped a lot.
       | 
       | I'm sad that my one of my daughters is struggling is struggling
       | with it early in school. School in general is just so
       | incompatible. I can sympathize in many ways with the
       | "inattentive" aspects, but she is also hyperactive which is
       | foreign to me.
        
       | ttronicm wrote:
       | I was diagnosed at age 44 and it made me reevaluate the course of
       | my entire life. It took me a few years to adjust adequately and
       | I'm still adjusting at 51. Learning about ADHD and effective
       | strategies to deal with it has helped. Getting to know other
       | people with ADHD has been the most helpful of all. I suggest
       | searching YouTube for reactions to ADHD memes: it's a little
       | painful on account of so much truth being told, but also nice to
       | feel less alone.
       | 
       | My experience with meds might be interesting: I work in a
       | customer-facing technical role where my soft skills are
       | paramount. Taking stimulants was disorienting, but helped me
       | manage emotions very well. They worked well for focus, but killed
       | my ability to be fundamentally nice. I might have been able to
       | adapt in time, but I would have had to change careers in the
       | meantime. I now take buproprion and it works well enough on
       | motivation without causing social problems.
        
       | snarfy wrote:
       | > I went to my therapist to handle a lingering family issue and
       | now we've come up to the ADHD talk
       | 
       | Ditch your therapist.
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | richthegeek wrote:
         | That sounds like a very unhelpful response. People with ADHD
         | are known to suffer much higher rates of divorce, because ADHD
         | is largely emotional dis-regulation.
         | 
         | ADHD is often ignored in 'high-functioning' adults who present
         | with anxiety, depression, and relationship issues but it is
         | often the root-cause of these problems.
         | 
         | If a therapist suggest at least exploring ADHD then assume they
         | have very good reason to do so!
        
       | codesnik wrote:
       | There could be consequences, btw. Like being barred from getting
       | a pilots license in US if you'd ever acquire a taste for flying
       | for example.
        
         | falcolas wrote:
         | Late 30's diagnosis for ADHD, who went to school to fly in
         | college. Here's my hot take:
         | 
         | Being barred from a pilots license is a good thing.
         | 
         | I look back on that time, and I'm shocked I didn't crash the
         | damned aircraft. I couldn't focus when landing (executive focus
         | disfunction), I would freak out randomly (emotional
         | disregulation), and I gave at least one of my instructors
         | several grey hairs when landing.
         | 
         | When you're a pilot, you can't afford to not be paying
         | attention.
        
           | pilot7378535 wrote:
           | Same goes for operating a car. How many accidents are caused
           | by distracted driving?
           | 
           | The good news is that medication may mitigates the symptoms
           | so you can focus on driving or flying safely.
           | 
           | The bad news is the FAA says you can't use the medication
           | while flying nor can you have an active diagnosis. So if you
           | have ever been diagnosed with ADHD, even as a child, your
           | only option is to go through an expensive testing process to
           | prove you don't have ADHD anymore. Or some people just lie.
           | Easiest and most dangerous approach is to never be diagnosed
           | in the first place.
           | 
           | The FAA is rewarded for caution, not inclusivity. But they
           | are making changes, like very recently making exceptions to
           | allow diabetics to be pilots:
           | https://www.diabetes.org/resources/know-your-
           | rights/discrimi.... Just know that a diagnosis can never been
           | deleted.
        
         | __s wrote:
         | +1. If you're doing well & aren't curious to try prescription
         | drugs, don't get diagnosed. Live your life, no need to bother
         | being classified somewhere in the non-NT taxonomy where if
         | you're not acting weird in the same way as everyone else you
         | need to be labelled with your brain put in the appropriate
         | cupboard of mason jars
        
       | afarrell wrote:
       | My ability to focus since getting medication is night and day.
       | This is true even when I'm off medication because I've been able
       | to do the work to gain mental clarity I'd not been able to do
       | before.
        
       | matlin wrote:
       | Anyone reading this should be extremely skeptical of internet
       | strangers recommending drugs that gave them "superpowers",
       | changed their life, etc. Taking these drugs will make _anyone_
       | feel more focused, motivated, etc because these drugs are strong
       | stimulants that cause euphoria, focus, and bursts of energy.
       | 
       | Anecdotally, I've seen a huge uptick in posts of the format "how
       | an ADHD diagnosis changed my life" on Reddit, TikTok, HN, etc.
       | Talk to your doctor about your issues and concerns but don't
       | forget the incentives of pharma companies to push these drugs on
       | as many people as possible.
        
         | jnovek wrote:
         | Everything you've said is correct, but please don't demonize a
         | medication that I depend on to be functional. ADHD is a
         | disability, there's more nuance to this than black-and-white.
         | 
         | I was blown off by doctors for years when I was seeking a
         | diagnostics because I was a successful person, but make no
         | mistake: I was suffering. I am a textbook case. The stigma
         | around this disorder is pervasive and it's extremely easy to
         | reinforce that stigma.
         | 
         | Stimulant medication doesn't give me superpowers, it improves
         | symptoms. I still have all the problems that come with ADHD,
         | just... less.
         | 
         | Google is failing me, but a study a few years ago indicated
         | that stimulants do not have a meaningful impact on the output
         | of those who do not have ADHD. People often think they do
         | because of the euphoria effect, but the euphoria is actually a
         | transient side effect.
         | 
         | Stimulants should be paired with therapy, to better understand
         | the nature of the disorder and developer additional coping
         | tool.
         | 
         | (I've been on stimulant medication to treat ADHD for about half
         | a decade. I was diagnosed well into adulthood.)
        
         | Spooky23 wrote:
         | The original poster is in therapy, so presumably there is
         | something going on that he or she is unhappy with.
        
         | yajjackson wrote:
         | Another anecdote: I was diagnosed in middle school and
         | prescribed Vyvanse, which I took for the duration of my k-12
         | education. Some side effects I lived with were loss of
         | appetite, social anxiety, difficulty sleeping, and later on a
         | complete suppression of sex-drive. These were brought to my
         | doctor's attention but were more or less considered costs to a
         | greater good.
         | 
         | I sought behavioral therapy because the side effects became too
         | much of a burden. I hold a job and remain productive, but I
         | still struggle dealing with my adhd without medication. I'm not
         | sure there's a point I'm trying to make here, just wanting to
         | share some of my experience.
        
         | PragmaticPulp wrote:
         | I recommend discarding any anecdotes from people who recently
         | started taking stimulants like Adderall, Vyvanse, or Ritalin.
         | The parent comment is correct in that early stimulant usage is
         | associated with euphoria and motivation that do not last.
         | 
         | If someone describes Adderall like the magic drug that Bradley
         | Cooper takes in the movie Limitless, they probably haven't been
         | taking it very long. Tolerance quickly builds to those effects.
         | 
         | People who have been taking Adderall since childhood or for a
         | decade of adult life tend to have more mixed reviews. That's
         | not to say it doesn't have a place in treatment of life-
         | impacting ADHD disorders, but it should be noted that it's not
         | a miracle drug that automatically turns you into a motivated,
         | organized person. Even patients who take stimulants must make
         | an effort to build good time management habits and self-
         | discipline. Those who rely too heavily on the motivating
         | effects of stimulant drugs can end up worse off when they
         | inevitably build tolerance to the euphoric effects and still
         | haven't learned how to manage their ADHD.
         | 
         | I've also noticed a huge uptick in ADHD misinformation in the
         | form of overly broad diagnostic criteria. If you see
         | infographics that describe ADHD symptoms as common behaviors
         | like "have trouble remembering names of new people" or "I
         | sometimes forget to do all of my tasks" then it's likely junk
         | science. Don't confuse normal human behaviors for ADHD. ADHD is
         | something far more debilitating.
        
           | throwasquirrel wrote:
           | How long does someone have to be on stimulant medication
           | before you consider them qualified to comment on its
           | effectiveness?
        
           | adhd-thrwaway-0 wrote:
           | Spot on. People treat medication like some free lunch without
           | understanding they come with real and significant costs.
        
         | ThrowawayP wrote:
         | > " _Taking these drugs will make anyone feel more focused,
         | motivated, etc because these drugs are strong stimulants that
         | cause euphoria, focus, and bursts of energy._ "
         | 
         | Can't speak for others but my encounter with stimulant
         | medications (under the care of a therapist, of course) provided
         | none of those things. It only gave me severe insomnia, which
         | left me worse off than before.
        
         | throwasquirrel wrote:
         | When you've grown up with executive dysfunction and excessive
         | difficulty regulating emotion, the _ability to choose_ to sit
         | down and do a task that doesn 't grab your attention sure FEELS
         | like a superpower, but all it's doing is effectively medicating
         | your condition.
         | 
         | The best parallel I can think of is that getting effective
         | medication for ADHD is like getting glasses. Suddenly a part of
         | your life that doesn't work (and maybe has never worked) is
         | suddenly functional. People tend to be pretty excited about
         | their glasses when they first get them, too.
        
           | afarrell wrote:
           | I would definitely say that glasses are a great comparison.
        
         | unbearded wrote:
         | As as person who got diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and looked
         | back to a life of potential wasted, and while I don't agree
         | with calling the benefits of any drug "superpowers", I can
         | understand why some people would. I exercise almost every day,
         | meditate, eat and sleep well and yet, it was a pill that made
         | the biggest difference in treating my difficult on keeping
         | focus.
        
         | Ensorceled wrote:
         | Also be extremely skeptical of internet strangers telling you
         | that you DON'T need medication or vaccines or therapy.
         | 
         | > Anecdotally, I've seen a huge uptick in posts of the format
         | "how an ADHD diagnosis changed my life"
         | 
         | You are seeing an uptick because admitting to being
         | neuroatypical is now far more acceptable. Similar to how "there
         | are so many more people claiming to be gay/trans/bi" on Reddit
         | isn't suspicious either.
         | 
         | The meds changed my life because I have ADHD. My dad's heart
         | medication changed his life (well, gave him a life) because he
         | has congestive heart disease.
         | 
         | My GP became much more relaxed about my medication when I
         | reported that my medications DIDN'T result in euphoria or
         | bursts of energy as that is often the case with ADHD. I am
         | simply much more focused.
        
         | RHSman2 wrote:
         | Theoretically, if you have ADHD the medicine shouldn't make you
         | 'high'. If you don't it will have that effect. This was told to
         | me by a specialist (I am dubious though)
        
           | weird-eye-issue wrote:
           | I'm commenting just to balance out everyone saying this is
           | false. I took Ritalin in middle school and never felt high
           | whatsoever. One day my mom took it (once) because she was
           | curious and she said she felt high (she told me this many
           | many years later).
           | 
           | I took it again after college and can say that yes if you
           | take a high enough dose it will make you slightly euphoric
           | but I think it's different than the high of recreational
           | drugs. If your mood is too heightened when you take it then
           | probably you should cut back on your dosage.
        
           | dj_gitmo wrote:
           | A normal dose can make you high or euphoric the first few
           | times you take it. Eventually your body down-regulates and
           | you don't experience a high, but if you read ADHD experiences
           | on the internet you will often come across people who have
           | just had their first dose and are clearly geeked up.
        
           | jnovek wrote:
           | This is a common misconception. The euphoria is a transient
           | side-effect. Some people don't experience much euphoria from
           | amphetamine.
           | 
           | I experienced euphoria for a month or so when I first started
           | treatment, but now it feels similar to a morning cup of
           | coffee.
        
           | godtoldmetodoit wrote:
           | This is false - if the dose is high enough with a drug like
           | Adderall or Vyvanse you will get the euphoric and high energy
           | when first starting out. Over the course of a week or two
           | your body adapts and that feeling fades.
        
           | kar5pt wrote:
           | This is false. I was diagnosed ADHD by a psychologist twice
           | (this is the full ADHD test where they put you through IQ and
           | other cognitive testing). My ADHD was severe enough that I
           | qualified for accommodations on the SATs. I was still able to
           | get high on Vyvanse/Adderall often enough to get addicted to
           | it. Drug companies lie to make these medications seem safer
           | than they are.
        
             | msrenee wrote:
             | That's really interesting to me. I take methylphenidate as
             | a (doctor prescribed) stimulant and don't get the euphoria
             | much at all. Maybe a little bit the first time I take an
             | increased dose. 5 mg made me feel drugged and tired the
             | first time. At 10 mg, I very nearly puked at about 2 hours
             | and 4 hours after the dose the first week but no euphoria.
             | I just had a more normal amount of energy compared to how
             | tired I am naturally. 15 mg and I'm pretty bright and
             | alert, but wouldn't call it euphoria by any means. I don't
             | know what a recreational dose is. I just got my
             | prescription upped so that I've got a couple 20 mg doses
             | available. If I have a suspiciously lovely day, I'll let
             | you know. I'm definitely not addicted. I feel no need to
             | take it except when I know I need it to get through the
             | day.
             | 
             | What did give me euphoria and hypo-manic behaviors was
             | Nuvigil at 250 mg after having been off it for 2 weeks.
             | That was an inexperienced mistake on my part, but it was
             | really fun.
        
             | adhd-thrwaway-0 wrote:
             | Yep. As someone who has been taking these medications for
             | over a decade, I can say the danger of physical and mental
             | addiction is very real. I've also stopped medication
             | several times over this period and the withdrawal can last
             | weeks or months.
        
           | ludamad wrote:
           | That's pretty dubious, especially about 'medicine' in
           | general. If that was true it would double as a surefire test
           | for ADHD. As well, all it takes is a little stronger dose and
           | I know of a friend with ADHD that abuses it to party
        
             | RHSman2 wrote:
             | It is Europe and that is what I thought. Aka, anecdotes
        
             | sobellian wrote:
             | The dose is managed to be the minimum that treats your
             | symptoms. A massive dose of amphetamines will obviously get
             | anyone high, but we're talking about the response in a
             | clinically relevant range of doses.
        
         | darkhorse13 wrote:
         | Thank you for posting this. And since these are all basically
         | just anecdotes, I would also like to add mine. I got hooked on
         | anxiety pills after a diagnosis (not the same thing as ADHD,
         | but still), and the withdrawals were genuinely the worst things
         | I've ever faced. Like I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemies.
         | With drugs, especially habit forming ones backed by Big Pharma,
         | you should always be on the side of caution.
         | 
         | Moreover, some of the comments are literally about starting
         | drugs a week or a month ago. God forbid, the long term effects
         | could be entirely different. I started struggling with my
         | dependencies after about a year or so.
        
           | codpiece wrote:
           | Thanks for this, my big fear is the effects of long-term use.
           | I've had friends who were superheroes on Adderall, lost tons
           | of weight, changed their lives. They couldn't see how manic
           | they were.
        
             | n1000 wrote:
             | It is an amphetamine. Go to r/ADHD and read the thousands
             | of enthusiastic stories of people that just took it for the
             | first time and are basically just high. I took medication
             | for a while and it helped me surmount a bunch of issues.
             | Now I can do well without. I never liked the effect on my
             | body and mind.
        
               | username90 wrote:
               | The effect doesn't go away, you just start expecting more
               | of yourself. Without medication I was really happy if I
               | could focus 30 minutes in a day, that would have been
               | like a once a month event. On medication I feel like shit
               | if I just got 4 productive hours on a day. So sure not
               | every day is like the first days after you start, but it
               | never goes down to even close the level you are at
               | without medication.
        
         | username90 wrote:
         | I've been over a magnitude more productive for many years
         | thanks to medication. That it can't have massive long term
         | impact is just nonsense. It doesn't make focusing trivial, but
         | it makes focusing possible and that is all I need. If I was
         | diagnosed earlier I'd not have wasted a decade of my life, but
         | at least I can do stuff now.
        
         | fartcannon wrote:
         | Whenever I visit the US, I inevitably end up sitting in front
         | of a TV and I'm always so surprised at how many commercials are
         | for drugs. Its just drugs and cars every 5 minutes all day
         | long.
         | 
         | I guess those groups have figured out how to advertise on HN
         | now too.
        
           | vlunkr wrote:
           | Even as Americans we find these amusing. They tell you to
           | "ask you doctor about x." Does anyone do that ever?
           | 
           | They're also unintentionally hilarious now that they can't
           | read the side effects at super speed, so 50% of the
           | commercial is watching someone play with their dog while you
           | learn that this allergy medicine is going to give you
           | diarrhea and suicidal thoughts and maybe a heart attack.
           | 
           | They must work somehow because they're clearly dumping so
           | much money in them.
        
             | msrenee wrote:
             | I'll bite. I actually figured out I had narcolepsy through
             | a pharmaceutical company's big campaign to push a couple
             | newer drugs they have the patents for. "Are you more than
             | tired?". Well, yes. I'm tired all the time and a couple
             | times a week have bouts where I'm staring at a concrete
             | floor thinking I could just lay down and go to sleep. But I
             | don't have narcolepsy. I'm not that tired. I don't pass out
             | randomly. I can still work long hours at a physical job. I
             | just occasionally have to muster all my willpower not to
             | lay down and sleep in the middle of the store. And I
             | haven't been able to watch an entire movie without falling
             | asleep in the first hour in a very long time.
             | 
             | Took the chintzy little quiz and I figured I might as well
             | ask my doctor. A couple sleep studies and an MSLT test and
             | what do you know?
        
             | whartung wrote:
             | Actually, yes.
             | 
             | I take a medication that's routinely advertised. When they
             | advertised an updated formula for it, I did ask my doctor
             | if we should consider it. Turns out, it's not covered by
             | the insurance, so, not today. But if it were, we'd
             | certainly be considering it. Doctors are pretty notorious
             | for the "if it's not broke, don't fix it", and leaving
             | things as they lay, rather than bombarding patients with
             | "the latest options". So, it can help patients interested
             | in the condition to talk about these sorts of things.
             | 
             | Also, when my doctor proposed the medication, it helped I
             | already had some indirect familiarity with it.
             | 
             | I sympathize with the caricature of medical advertising,
             | and even advertising in general. We all "hate" advertising,
             | but we all rely on it. Everyone pauses at an ad that
             | catches their eye in some way.
        
         | stormbrew wrote:
         | There are a lot of positive anecdotes in threads like this
         | because, shock of shocks, a field which is well known for
         | having people get into it because of obsessive interest-chasing
         | in their teen years is also dominated by people who fit the
         | diagnostic criteria of ADHD, and also shock of shocks,
         | medication known to help people with those criteria tend to
         | help a lot of people in that field.
         | 
         | This post is just conspiracy thinking. You're far more likely
         | to find people dissuading you from accepting an ADHD diagnosis
         | in your life than people encouraging you. Even doctors don't
         | really like to give a diagnosis of it unless you _really
         | clearly fit_ into a particular hyperactive bucket.
        
         | dkdk8283 wrote:
         | At my last company engineers openly bragged about strategies to
         | get prescriptions and increase dosages. I find this behavior
         | reprehensible.
         | 
         | If they were my reports I would have fired them.
        
           | Ancapistani wrote:
           | After moving halfway across the country in 2013, I had
           | trouble finding a doctor who would prescribe Vyvanse - after
           | having been on if for years and basically relying on it to
           | remain productive.
           | 
           | If not for the exact discussions you're speaking about at
           | work, I would likely have ended up unemployed.
        
             | dkdk8283 wrote:
             | I can't agree with your anecdote. Your previous doctor
             | could have forwarded your medical records.
             | 
             | If multiple doctors are of the opinion they won't prescribe
             | it I don't think that justifies drug seeking behavior.
        
         | scyzoryk_xyz wrote:
         | This is also exactly the line of thinking that happened to keep
         | me away from an ADHD diagnosis for such a long time. The point
         | of the "superpower" language, when used by someone who is
         | actually ADHD is that you feel impaired and are lead to believe
         | by everyone and everything that this just the way you are -
         | that you're lazy, that you're incompetent, dumb etc. And those
         | successful focused people, they're just more hard working, they
         | put in more effort. ADHD drugs are life changing because
         | suddenly you're perfectly fine sitting still, being focused,
         | not interrupting people.
         | 
         | Posts like those are what gave me the confidence to seek an
         | ADHD diagnosis.
        
         | LastManStanding wrote:
         | Anyone reading this comment should be extremely skeptical of
         | internet strangers like Matlin who do not have the condition
         | thinking they know what is best for you. These medications do
         | not work the same way on people who do not have ADHD. I get
         | zero euphoia from these medications, and they got rid of
         | serious insommnia problem. If you don't have ADHD your
         | experience will be far different.
        
           | Dma54rhs wrote:
           | This is junk science you're repeating. There's no validity in
           | claim people who have adhd don't experience euphoria. Some
           | people get more euphoric than others, adhd symptoms or not
           | and surprise stimulants make people more productive.
        
             | dk775 wrote:
             | Right, I'm extremely add and get euphoria. I also feel a
             | lot of the people who treat this as "my medication" types
             | (they're common) should realize the worst thing about
             | adderall is that it makes you happy doing stupid menial
             | stuff
        
         | rjh29 wrote:
         | Absolutely. There are some who need this medication to
         | function, but there are many who weren't sure if they needed
         | meds, got prescribed anyway and - surprise - feel a burst of
         | focus and motivation now they're regularly taking stimulants.
        
       | tibbon wrote:
       | First of all, I personally really like exploring anything a
       | therapist recommends to me. If they (or people in my life) are
       | noticing something, then it's something worth consideration.
       | 
       | I got a formal ADHD diagnosis around 8 years ago. They did
       | prescribe medication, but I honestly do not like taking it. Sure
       | it gives me focus and "superpowers" but it also shifts the way I
       | think about things and I don't feel like myself on it. I
       | personally use it as a "backup" when I have a lot of tasks I have
       | to bash through, but for others they find daily is useful. To
       | each their own. I find a lot of people with diagnosis and
       | medication from a young age lean on that heavily, with less
       | technique based change.
       | 
       | The benefit however has been that now I have the name of
       | something to explore and work on. I didn't really know I was ADHD
       | prior to my diagnosis, and it was a partner that pointed me in
       | the direction of exploring it.
       | 
       | I've realized that my father's behavior was similar to mine, and
       | it's an interesting lens to see his life through.
       | 
       | I've been able to lean into organizational techniques more. For
       | me, putting in hard work on techniques is better on average than
       | medication. I'm also not someone who responds to average
       | organizational techniques and I often have to find "tricks" that
       | work for my own personal motivations to keep me organized.
       | 
       | For example, I've never been able to keep a calendar, todo list,
       | or schedule. I was awful in college about missing classes,
       | running late, etc. So much of it was because I'm overly
       | optimistic about time (so run late), and also about my ability to
       | keep things in my head (which I'm actually terrible at, but in
       | the moment think I'm clever).
       | 
       | My solution to this has been weird - it's Google Calendar. But I
       | share it with a dozen friends. It's no longer about _my_ schedule
       | tracking, but it being a social communication tool. My motivation
       | to keep it accurate isn 't just about my schedule, but about
       | letting people know when I'm free/busy and where I am. For my
       | brain, that is a highly motivating thing and so now I keep it
       | accurate. Same with things like grocery lists and Google Keep and
       | my live in partner. It's not just about my list, but now it's a
       | socially motivated list, so I'll keep it accurate. This isn't a
       | motivational technique for everyone, but it's mine and works well
       | to keep me organized.
       | 
       | Eventually you may find parts of yourself described in various
       | literature and experience that aren't just about organization or
       | distraction, but things about how you take feedback, etc... some
       | of which are highly linked as ADHD traits.
       | 
       | There's also at least 3 different distinct types of ADHD, and
       | it's useful to think about those and how they fit you. Your
       | therapist should be able to help you identify these formally.
        
       | renewiltord wrote:
       | The ADHD diagnosis allowed me to get Adderall. Adderall allowed
       | me to listen to people and not just talk about whatever comes to
       | mind all the time. After a while of using the drug, I was able to
       | listen to people off the drug. Now I cut my dose down, and just
       | know to recognize my behavior and nip it.
       | 
       | This has improved my personal relationships so much. You wouldn't
       | believe it.
       | 
       | Previously, everyone loved me because I was the life of the party
       | etc etc but now I can also form deeper connections because I can
       | listen.
        
       | jiofih wrote:
       | And let's not forget to thank the sponsor of today's comment,
       | BigPharmaCo!
        
         | sdbrown wrote:
         | Literally LOL! My meds have been generic for so long that the
         | most regular non-appointment-reminder phone calls I get are the
         | pharmacy telling me that the manufacturer and appearance of the
         | pills has changed.
        
         | Romulus968 wrote:
         | Go fuck yourself dude.
         | 
         | This isn't fucking "BigPharmaCo". This is someone who suffered
         | and the meds helped. Believe it or not, mental illnesses are a
         | real thing, and some of us need the help of medicines to deal
         | with the issues. Take your conspiracy theory bullshit on
         | somewhere you fucking clown
        
           | sdbrown wrote:
           | I appreciate your comment; medication saved me from tanking
           | what has been a relatively successful career.
           | 
           | However, they bring up a reasonable question, which is that
           | of conflicts-of-interest. I do not now, nor have a I ever,
           | received any compensation from a current or historical
           | manufacturer of medications targeting ADHD. I do not
           | anticipate receiving any such compensation in the future.
           | However, I am married to a physician. (Side note: she also
           | has ADHD. One of the smartest people I've ever met, but
           | nearly failed her first USMLE because she couldn't execute on
           | review/studying prior to the test. Went on meds and passed
           | the rest of her exams with scores right in the middle of the
           | distribution. The meds don't make us super-human, they just
           | let us be normal.)
        
             | Romulus968 wrote:
             | I took it personally because I have ADHD too.
             | 
             | "The meds don't make us super-human, they just let us be
             | normal" - Bingo. Exactly.
        
       | setgree wrote:
       | My 2c (not a Dr.):
       | 
       | * ADHD diagnosis could be useful for self-knowledge and for maybe
       | acquiring medication;
       | 
       | * not sure what the neurological tests give you above and beyond
       | a psychiatrist's expert judgement. Seems like they've got
       | incentives to run expensive tests/use expensive machinery that
       | don't necessarily align with the patient's.
       | 
       | I benefited from Concerta at a job but the self-knowledge gained
       | from looking hard at my own abilities and disabilities was much
       | more valuable. You might find the same.
       | 
       | Here's a resource on adderall you might find valuable:
       | https://lorienpsych.com/2020/10/30/adderall/
        
       | werthds wrote:
       | It's helped me understand the pros and cons of an ADHD diagnosis,
       | it good to know that you're not alone in a sea of neurotypical
       | people. It's helpful to understand ADHD and share your learning
       | with people who are close to you. For me and it seems like you as
       | well, the challenge hasn't been with work and life in general but
       | more with relationships with people closest to me - read up on
       | RSD. It's also fun to understand all those coping mechanisms
       | you've developed over the years. Use it as an opportunity to
       | learn and explore.
        
         | codpiece wrote:
         | Thank you, I will certainly look into this.
        
       | Ensorceled wrote:
       | I got a diagnosis after two failed marriages, a stalled career,
       | issues around emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity.
       | 
       | The diagnosis, and resulting treatment, changed my life.
       | 
       | Not sure it will help you given you don't seem to be suffering
       | from it.
        
         | codpiece wrote:
         | Thank you, I'm sorry to hear you've suffered.
        
           | Ensorceled wrote:
           | Thanks! I shared my story so you could sort of contrast
           | negative impacts of ADHD I experienced with your own
           | situation (though there is lots of that here now :-).
           | 
           | I would suggest that, whatever you decide, you take the time
           | to understand the impacts that ADHD can have on your friends,
           | family and co-workers and check in with them to make sure you
           | are not having more impact than you think.
        
       | wy35 wrote:
       | ADHD diagnosis didn't help me live a better life, it helped me
       | live a normal life.
       | 
       | During college and my first job, I was constantly stressed and
       | depressed from my terrible productivity. I couldn't even bring
       | myself to do things I wanted to do --- the only thing that
       | mattered was the next dopamine hit. I made so many goals and
       | failed every single one, and with each failure I blamed myself
       | even more. The problem with having ADHD is that it causes you to
       | procrastinate on getting the diagnosis in the first place! In the
       | end, I had to accept that "just try harder" isn't a valid
       | strategy.
       | 
       | OP, I know my experience isn't similar to yours at all, but just
       | know that mental illness treatment almost always helps you reach
       | your goals, and don't procrastinate on it.
        
       | tediousdemise wrote:
       | I have immense trouble obtaining my medicine due to the arcane
       | scheduling system in my country. Pharmacists frequently lie to me
       | about inventory and tell me that they can't fill my medicine.
        
       | u678u wrote:
       | Constant distraction and procrastination seem so normal these
       | days I dont know if I have ADHD or just struggling like everyone
       | else.
        
         | leetrout wrote:
         | This has been my concern. (Typing from my phone which is in my
         | hand for hours every day)
        
       | Taylor_OD wrote:
       | I was in a 6 figure job as the #2 in a sales office in my
       | early/mid 20's when I got my diagnosis. It changed my life.
       | 
       | I don't take any medication for it. Never have. It felt a lot
       | like when I started going to therapy. I was able to learn more
       | about myself and point to some things that I do as ADHD related.
       | It helped me understand why I am the way I am.
        
       | johnchristopher wrote:
       | > They want to run neurological tests, said I'm 'twice
       | exceptional'
       | 
       | It's a red flag to me. Who's they here ? What kind of setting,
       | health insurance, country's social net are we talking about ?
       | 
       | Who's paying for the privilege of investigating a case that is
       | twice exceptional ?
        
       | qwerty456127 wrote:
       | No real help in many countries because Adderal and Desoxyn are
       | completely illegal in the most. In fact the only thing that
       | really helped me were small amounts of meth which is legally
       | available (in the USA only) as Desoxyn. 1/4 Xanax + 1200mg
       | piracetam combo also did nice job but every time I tried it Xanax
       | felt having notably less effect. So, for some time, I settled
       | with nicotine-heavy vape which made me at least slightly
       | productive.
        
       | sdbrown wrote:
       | It's been about 9 years and I'm still on the original dose of the
       | first medication my psychiatrist prescribed. I'm really glad I
       | managed my pride enough to make that first appointment.
       | 
       | - Slept better. No more tossing and turning for an hour or two
       | before I fell asleep.
       | 
       | - Ate more regularly. My stomach starts to hurt if I wait too
       | long between meals.
       | 
       | - Remembered people's names when meeting them, at least to the
       | point where I could say it again after they introduced themselves
       | and started talking.
       | 
       | - More realistic outlook. Things aren't perfect and they aren't
       | the worst, they just either kind of suck for now or this is a
       | good moment.
       | 
       | - No longer have to make a giant mental effort to get something
       | done on the weekend. If I want to read a book, I read it. If I
       | want to play video games, I play them. If I want to clean the
       | house, I clean the house.
       | 
       | - No longer a giant mental effort to get something done at work.
       | Need to send an email? Send it. Need to annotate some data?
       | Annotate it. Need to schedule a meeting? Schedule it.
        
       | tapoxi wrote:
       | I had a neuropsych evaluation (the neurological test) in my early
       | 20's. It confirmed my diagnosis of ADHD and dyscalculia.
       | 
       | If you don't believe you're negatively impacted with ADHD type
       | symptoms, it probably won't help you. It did help me manage the
       | 'cycle of anxiety' brought on by ADHD-induced lack of focus and
       | procrastination.
       | 
       | Stimulant medications do help, I'm on Concerta which is an
       | extended release methylphenidate (Ritalin). It is not magic. I
       | see a therapist to help with accountability and manage the
       | chronic anxiety as well as develop systems to help me block my
       | time and limit distractions.
        
       | unbearded wrote:
       | Have been taking Strattera for a few months and wonder how many
       | years of my life I would have not wasted if I had been diagnosed
       | with ADHD earlier in my life.
       | 
       | I just turned 40 and I never thought I had ADHD until recently.
       | Before I just thought my lack of attention on things was just the
       | price of being a 10X on productivity (and I was a little arrogant
       | because of it).
       | 
       | The reality was that I chose to put my time on tasks that I found
       | interesting and engaging and when that choice was not available,
       | I would feel anxious, stuck and totally unfocused. Still, I
       | thought that was just normal procrastination that everybody goes
       | through.
       | 
       | Some changes in my life and goals limited my time to act and
       | required me to be more focused, but instead of getting into
       | action I got more stuck than ever and very anxious as the
       | deadlines got closer and got missed.
       | 
       | Treating my ADHD helped me change my relationships for better and
       | widened the possibilites in my work and I would recommend to
       | anybody in the same situation.
        
         | iamdbtoo wrote:
         | I'm in a similar situation. The diagnosis changed everything
         | for me and I really wish someone had noticed it when I was a
         | kid.
         | 
         | All my therapy was about struggling with my ADHD for so long
         | because it was unkown and untreated. Once I figured the ADHD
         | part out, everything else fell into place.
         | 
         | Knowing this about myself has been nothing but positive for me.
        
         | FridayoLeary wrote:
         | what's the difference between strattera and ritalin?
        
           | KerrickStaley wrote:
           | They are different drugs with different mechanisms of action.
           | One notable difference from my experience is that Ritalin has
           | a stimulant effect, whereas Strattera actually made me tired.
        
             | robohamburger wrote:
             | Had a similar experience. Was on this for a bit when I had
             | a GP who seemed hesitant to prescribe stimulants even
             | though I had historically taken ritalin and it was fine
             | (all side effects were manageable).
        
           | controlledchaos wrote:
           | You better search it, but I believe the difference is Ritalin
           | is an amphetamine.
        
             | KerrickStaley wrote:
             | Ritalin is not a form of amphetamine. Ritalin's active
             | ingredient is methylphenidate.
        
             | firebird84 wrote:
             | Ritalin is not "an amphetamine" but rather a
             | psychostimulant. It's a DEA schedule II regulated drug.
             | 
             | Strattera works via a different mechanism and (supposedly)
             | is likely not to be habit-forming. Ritalin definitely can
             | be habit-forming.
        
         | anonymouse008 wrote:
         | Did you ever experiment with Adderall, Vyvanse or Ritalin? How
         | did you end up with Strattera?
         | 
         | I'm trying to triangulate a course for myself and still can't
         | pull the trigger on any of these for fear of side-effects or
         | dependence.
        
           | unbearded wrote:
           | The doctor recommended that I tried Strattera first and see
           | if worked before trying stimulants. Atomoxetine is one pill
           | per day and works 24 hours. But doesn't work for everybody
           | and some people have some undesired side-effects. I had some
           | of the "undesired side-effects" in the beginning but they
           | went away after a few days. Also, in my case, it took 20 days
           | until I felt that it was working. I noticed it started
           | working one day after a looked back at one situation where I
           | would normally get stuck and dread and it had gone as without
           | any issue.
        
           | PragmaticPulp wrote:
           | For what it's worth, my psychiatrist friend who has ADHD and
           | specializes in ADHD practice swears by non-stimulant
           | medications for long-term treatment.
           | 
           | His personal preference is Intuniv (Guanfacine). He says the
           | only reason it's not more popular is that the start-up side
           | effects can be unpleasant for a while and proper dose
           | titration takes more work on the provider's side to get it
           | right.
           | 
           | Stimulants don't necessarily lead to dependence, but I have
           | seen enough adults become dependent on stimulant medication
           | or even fall into the trap of doubling up doses or seeking
           | extra sources that it's wise to approach it with caution.
           | Most patients seem to use as directed, but the people who go
           | down the path of addiction and dose escalation aren't
           | necessarily the ones you'd expect.
        
           | lowdest wrote:
           | I've been on and off Vyvanse and Ritalin for a decade. Work
           | with your doctor on side effects, I found Concerta to have
           | the least side effects for me (long-lasting, tapers slowly at
           | end of day, and fewer anxious feelings for me than Vyvanse.)
           | I've also taken breaks from the medication for a year or
           | more. It takes somewhere between 3 days and 3 weeks to feel
           | like I'm not missing something when I stop the medication,
           | but overall it's not that bothersome or unpleasant unless
           | work/life is very busy at that time. Quitting coffee cold-
           | turkey feels much worse, for comparison.
        
           | jcims wrote:
           | Not the person you're replying to but Vyvanse gave me
           | excruciating neck cramps, brain zaps and really cold fingers.
           | My doctor said that I had a bit of an outlier reaction to it
           | so YMMV but if you decide to go that route at least ask about
           | the cramps lol.
           | 
           | Adderall isn't a wonder drug for me but it tips the scale in
           | my favor. I just take the standard release pills 'as needed'
           | in the morning. It does tend to mess with my sleep a bit if I
           | take any after 10am and definitely curbs my appetite (+/-).
           | I'm 47 and recently have been paying closer attention to
           | heart health, it definitely increases heart rate and blood
           | pressure. Not alarmingly so, but if you're in any way
           | marginal for either it's something to consider.
        
             | The-Bus wrote:
             | I was prescribed Adderall XR which did wonders for my
             | symptoms but eventually I stopped taking it as my heart
             | would race after doing any strenuous exercise. I wish that
             | wasn't the case, as it did help.
        
             | stevewodil wrote:
             | To be fair, caffeine also increases heart rate and blood
             | pressure. I think it's common of stimulants
        
               | nicoburns wrote:
               | ...and disturbs sleep, and can help treat symtoms of ADHD
        
         | globular-toast wrote:
         | What does "10x on productivity" mean? I thought ADHD would lead
         | to lower productivity.
        
           | bluefirebrand wrote:
           | This is a common misconception about ADHD.
           | 
           | People with ADHD have a tendency to hyperfocus on things they
           | enjoy, to the detriment of other things.
           | 
           | ADHD is not a lack of focus, it is a lack of Executive
           | Function. Sometimes the Executive Function looks easily
           | distracted because it doesn't want to do chores so it bounces
           | from room to room cleaning one single surface in each one.
           | 
           | Sometimes the Executive Function looks like a 10x programmer
           | beast because you get so wrapped up in programming whatever
           | you're making that it's all you can think about, you skip
           | meals and sleep and ignore friends and family until it's
           | done.
        
             | PragmaticPulp wrote:
             | It should be noted that "hyperfocus" is more of a fringe
             | idea in ADHD science than a well-accepted feature.
             | 
             | Hyperfocus can also be a side effect of stimulant
             | medication. It's not uncommon for newly diagnosed ADHD
             | patients to take stimulants and end up hyperfocusing on the
             | wrong thing, such as video games or other vices.
             | 
             | Be careful about interpreting something like increased
             | focus as ADHD. The pop-culture definition of ADHD has
             | become so blurry that nearly everyone could be considered
             | ADHD under certain criteria. When focusing too much _and_
             | focusing too little are both supposedly symptoms of the
             | same disorder, it 's easy to misconstrue normal behavior
             | for disorders. It's best to leave the diagnosis to a
             | professional.
        
               | pseudalopex wrote:
               | The idea hyper focus is a strength is pop psychology. Its
               | existence isn't.
        
               | bluefirebrand wrote:
               | > Hyperfocus can also be a side effect of stimulant
               | medication.
               | 
               | This doesn't address the fact that the hyperfocus
               | behavior is a side effect of the poor executive function
               | and is present in unmedicated ADHD people. In fact
               | stimulants in an ADHD brain tend to improve executive
               | function and make hyperfocus less likely for them.
               | 
               | > Be careful about interpreting something like increased
               | focus as ADHD.
               | 
               | As I said before, it's not about focus at all. It's about
               | executive function. It just manifests in ways that look
               | like focus problems. And yes, hyperfocus is absolutely as
               | much of a problem as completely lacking focus.
        
           | ai_ia wrote:
           | You can work exceedingly long hours with high focus on
           | something you like.
        
           | yipbub wrote:
           | For me that means that I can be intensively productive in
           | intense bursts when I am engaged.
           | 
           | Pre-treatment OP sounds like me now.
           | 
           | I am arrogant in that I am always confident I can finish the
           | tasks I have later. The problem is that even though I
           | consistently do, it doesn't feel good, and sometimes
           | unexpected outside influences will kill the tight margin I've
           | left myself.
        
           | lowdest wrote:
           | The flip side to ADHD is hyperfocus on things that draw your
           | attention. This can manifest as a 12-hour coding session
           | without breaks or even noticing the time.
        
           | username90 wrote:
           | When you spend 40 hours mentally preparing yourself to do a
           | task then you are extremely productive when you actually do
           | it. But the overall performance is still horrible.
        
             | globular-toast wrote:
             | I honestly can't comprehend what this means or why it's
             | called "10x productivity". You're productive, but overall
             | performance is horrible? So you do lots but do it badly?
        
             | Dma54rhs wrote:
             | What does it even mean?
        
         | codpiece wrote:
         | That sounds like me! 10x productivity, sometimes so profoundly
         | bored I'm a blank slate.
        
       | steve_adams_86 wrote:
       | My thoughts upon reading this are:
       | 
       | 1. If your ADHD hasn't made your life (at least at moments) a
       | living hell, it's probably not something that needs to be
       | addressed very urgently.
       | 
       | 2. If you don't think your ADHD is a problem but a therapist
       | thinks it might be, well... That's an ADHD thing, and it might
       | help to entertain the idea and openly explore it with therapy and
       | loved ones.
       | 
       | ADHD, whatever it really is, has made my life very difficult at
       | times. I won't describe why because I don't think our situations
       | and symptoms would align well enough for it to be relevant. I
       | will say though that I managed to make it to 30 as a reasonably
       | introspective, thoughtful, and open person without really cluing
       | in to the fact that I had some severe problems stemming from
       | ADHD. I know that seems contradictory, but the trouble with ADHD
       | is that it's something of a self defeating condition. Some of
       | your internal senses are finely tuned while others are extremely
       | dull, and they often work against each other to suppress and hide
       | each other. It's dangerously compounding. The people around you
       | may never notice this, too - this only works to exacerbate your
       | blind spots in terms of self awareness. It's often true that only
       | the people closest to us, like a spouse or other immediate
       | family, will ever become attuned to our issues. I can say
       | confidently even now that my closest friends had no idea I had
       | ADHD, and some even insisted my diagnosis was an error. I had a
       | good job, I was disciplined, I was a good parent. I used to
       | believe those things too, haha.
       | 
       | All that is to say that if you do have ADHD and think it's fine,
       | well... It might actually be awful for those around you, and
       | that's worth inspecting. However, if it is benign, just let it
       | be.
       | 
       | Others quickly jumped to saying meds changed their life. They
       | changed my perspective of what my life could be, which was
       | useful. I didn't find them useful beyond that. I disliked the
       | side effects, and I found the soft, fleeting rewiring to feel
       | like a mental flip-flopping that made it difficult to pin down
       | which thoughts and actions where "real" or "generated" by drugs.
       | Just as taking LSD in the pursuit of opening your mind leads to
       | unearned wisdom, I felt as though amphetamines lead to an
       | unearned, poorly understood, unsustainable source of focus and
       | executive function.
       | 
       | At any rate, if you're here asking us, there must be some
       | salience in your mind that's pushing you to explore the
       | possibility. I say yes, explore it. But do it openly with a
       | critical mind. Don't assume this ends in a prescription. Consider
       | it self work which could benefit you and your loved ones. Most
       | importantly, don't assume this is a bad thing. ADHD is another
       | permutation of human genetics and environment. It's not an innate
       | disability or disease. You're the same person with or without the
       | diagnosis, and the ultimate goal is to be the best you can be
       | regardless of which mind or body you inherited.
        
         | codpiece wrote:
         | Thank you.
        
       | bboykicx wrote:
       | When I asked if blind people can suffer from ADHD and the doc
       | didn't know and was like hmmm.. makes me feel its a disease
       | brought on because of the use of screens. 30 frames constantly
       | has to do something to our brains and attention
        
         | pseudalopex wrote:
         | A physician published a description of what sounds like ADHD in
         | 1798.[1]
         | 
         | [1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3000907/
        
       | proxysna wrote:
       | Since i was diagnosed in 2019 (i am nearing my 30's today) it
       | helped me a lot in identifying issues that ADHD was causing and
       | how to work around them. Anger issues, object permanence,
       | executive dysfunction, sensory issues, anxiety became easier to
       | manage, once i became aware of the nature of these issues and how
       | to remove some of the stress related to these issues.
       | 
       | I never got to medicating, because i lived in a country where,
       | any kind of ADHD medication is either illegal (stimulants) or not
       | yet licensed (non-stimulants). There was a third option, sort of
       | a third-line, anti-depressant that had a ton of side-effects,
       | which i decided to skip.
       | 
       | Now i moved to [Northern Europe] and started the process of
       | getting diagnosed here from scratch, since i am unable to
       | transfer my records. Time consuming and expensive? Very much. Not
       | sure that the whole thing will result in anything useful for me,
       | but i still feel that i have to try.
        
       | adhdtemp wrote:
       | Can you all recommend any science-based books/videos/etc that one
       | could use to improve their ADHD?
        
         | Ensorceled wrote:
         | There are a ton of resources, but unfortunately you'll have to
         | sort of figure out which ones work for you as they all seem to
         | have slightly different approaches and opinions.
         | 
         | Two good places to start (in my opinion), if they don't work
         | for you, just move on:
         | 
         | How to ADHD youtube (aims younger but very positive):
         | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-nPM1_kSZf91ZGkcgy_95Q
         | 
         | ADDitude Magazine: https://www.additudemag.com/ (they also have
         | a YouTube channel)
        
         | slothtrop wrote:
         | From memory: regular exercise, and emotional regulation tools
         | such as CBT or meditation. Oh, and adequate sleep
         | 
         | https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31921425/
        
       | Cass wrote:
       | I'm a successful 33 year old adult in a career ideally suited to
       | the way my brain works, so I was VERY skeptical about whether it
       | would make any difference to my life to get diagnosed or go on
       | meds. Now that I have, I can confidently say that it was a total
       | game-changer and I wish my parents had gotten this done for me
       | when I was a kid. It would've made so many things so much easier.
       | 
       | I currently only use my meds (specifinally, Vyvanse) once per
       | week, because I don't love the side effects and I can manage fine
       | without most of the time. On that one day per week, I do
       | everything that my brain chemistry usually makes difficult, which
       | is mostly paperwork and cleaning.
       | 
       | The difference it's made is HUGE. I went through a whole grieving
       | process when I realized how much easier I could've had it all
       | along. I can sit down, spend four hours doing my taxes, and then
       | be done (and then realize the bathroom needs cleaning, and also
       | do that), instead of sitting down, getting a snack, doing ten
       | minutes of taxes, cuddling with the cat, starting a conversation,
       | going on hacker news, doing ten minutes of taxes, going on hacker
       | news, and finally finishing the taxes ten hours later at a
       | quarter to midnight.
       | 
       | It's also made a huge difference to accept that some things are
       | simply symptoms, and not signs that I'm a disorganized failure
       | who'd too stupid to manage daily life. It's also helped to live
       | with people who know and accept this about me, and who know that
       | although I'm very good at managing my symptoms, sometimes things
       | go wrong.
       | 
       | Yes, sometimes everyone is mildly inconvenienced because we were
       | about to leave and now I have to go on a ten-minute WHERE IS MY
       | WALLET tear through the house. It's fine! Sometimes, we're mildly
       | inconvenienced because my girlfriend's insulin pumped is clogged
       | and she needs to spend ten mins fussing with the catheter. These
       | are things that happen when you have a chronic health condition,
       | and no reason for anyone to get upset or berate anyone else.
       | Accepting that has made me a much happier person.
        
         | bobmaxup wrote:
         | If you are dosing once a week, aren't you getting a pretty good
         | hit of euphoria?
        
           | username90 wrote:
           | Does it matter? The important part is that you can manage it
           | long term, and taking it once a week is sustainable.
        
             | bobmaxup wrote:
             | > Does it matter?
             | 
             | I view the euphoria as an unsustainable side effect.
             | 
             | People can tell when you are high, and normally not for
             | your positive attributes during those moments.
        
               | username90 wrote:
               | The therapeutic does you get doesn't make you "high", you
               | get a small burst of energy similar to caffeine at most,
               | nothing unsustainable. And since "euphoria" isn't a well
               | defines concept you could see caffeine as causing
               | "euphoria". Certainly seems that way when people say they
               | can't function before they get their morning coffee.
        
               | [deleted]
        
         | throwasquirrel wrote:
         | > I went through a whole grieving process when I realized how
         | much easier I could've had it all along.
         | 
         | I was diagnosed six months ago and I have absolutely been going
         | through the this same process. At one point I cleaned up a
         | bunch of old boxes (some of which I'd been meaning to unpack
         | for over a decade... yes the meds help!) and came across a
         | folder of my old school reports. Reading through them and
         | seeing the lifelong pattern of struggle with focus and
         | attention that I'd just thought was normal, and that _didn 't
         | have to have been that hard_... I cried, a lot.
        
         | richthegeek wrote:
         | The grieving process was intense for the first few months. It
         | was somewhat amazing to notice the "stages" as they happened.
         | Anger, towards my parents and my teachers and my psychiatrist,
         | was the hardest to deal with.
         | 
         | But acceptance came, and it's the best I've felt in years.
         | 
         | Glad to see others in this thread like yourself with such
         | similar experiences.
        
         | iovrthoughtthis wrote:
         | thanks for giving me some word for what i felt. it has
         | definitely been a grieving process.
        
       | iovrthoughtthis wrote:
       | seeking diagnosis but seems very likely from professionals ive
       | been assessed by.
       | 
       | just a note, i'm not looking for feedback or criticism of these
       | things im experiencing.
       | 
       | accepting i might have adhd helped me in a few ways:
       | 
       | 1. i could stop being quite so hard on myself for fucking up
       | (usually organisational stuff)
       | 
       | 2. i've started separating the parts of my identity i took on as
       | an explanation for my needs (e.g low frustration threshold means
       | i need minimalism and convenience). which is useful because now
       | im starting to see what i "need" to function well and what i
       | actually value.
       | 
       | 3. ive started to build my life in ways that enable me to
       | overcome stuff. e.g i thought i was very introverted and need
       | alone time (and it turns out i am and do) but i _need_ things to
       | help me engage with boring tasks and other people are so
       | engaging. so now i try to book in time to pair on boring tasks.
       | 
       | 5. i absolutely cannot live without a todo list and a calendar.
       | of i do not write it down, it is gone. i can finally accept this
       | and stop trying to get better at remembering things.
       | 
       | there are numerous other things too that i will likely think of /
       | discover as time passes.
        
       | slothtrop wrote:
       | I was diagnosed once as a kid, and again as a teenager. I was
       | prescribed medication just as fast as I was diagnosed. In either
       | case it hasn't helped, as it concerns my focus. In fact I quite
       | often felt worse when I relied on these later on. What it helped
       | was to ascertain that I do not in fact have ADHD, and to learn
       | that the diagnosis process is a complete joke.
       | 
       | My issue was primarily of chronic fatigue from inadequate sleep
       | through my teen years, informed in part by high levels of anxiety
       | and stress at home. Conversely as a kid, diagnosis came
       | recommended by a teacher (!) because I was "daydreaming in class"
       | - that's it. Details of my fatigue were made aware to the
       | psychiatrist I was sent to at the time, but perhaps because I was
       | scheduled for focus/attention issues, it was completely ignored.
       | 
       | I eventually regained my focus in adulthood, after pain and
       | trepidation, with a multi-pronged approach that included
       | reinvigorating sleep, reducing my anxiety levels, and diet /
       | regular exercise.
       | 
       | Make no mistake: this is not to proselytize that "ADHD doesn't
       | exist". But I would put it to you that since there is a perverse
       | incentive to diagnose it, it's diagnosed as though everything is
       | a nail in North America. There should be more credence given to
       | the possibility that focus issues can be symptomatic of other
       | problems.
       | 
       | I also find it dubious that children can so easily be diagnosed
       | by virtue that a long day of boring lectures and sitting still is
       | difficult to pay attention to. This is almost ubiquitous among
       | children, though yes, it will exacerbate things more among kids
       | who have more of a difficulty with focus. This brings to mind the
       | story of Gillian Lynne, choreographer for Cats, who was brought
       | to the doctor for her fidgeting - he suggested she go to dance
       | school where she excelled. Why is it unthinkable that certain
       | children be allowed to flourish in more appropriate environments?
       | Because they're an inconvenience to adults - that's all. It's not
       | less virtuous to be a person drawn to more physical engagement
       | with the world.
       | 
       | Also see: A Disease Called Childhood: Why ADHD became an American
       | Epidemic, by Marilyn Wedge, Ph.D.
        
       | devwastaken wrote:
       | Diagnosed ADHD here. The only thing of worth was the stimulant
       | medication because It significantly improved my ability to work
       | longer and on more difficult projects. It has side effects, if
       | you're satisfied with your work it's not worth it. There's
       | nothing else from an ADHD diagnosis that benefits me. If anything
       | I'm most likely on the spectrum but psychs's in the country have
       | little to no knowledge about autism in adults, only children. The
       | diagnosis criteria heavily focuses upon underdeveloped kids.
       | 
       | Caution to anyone else, the default dose they gave me was far too
       | high. Had to change it down to the lowest long release they had.
       | There's different kinds of stimulants, Adderall based doesn't
       | work for me.
        
       | bongothrowaway wrote:
       | Mostly, it's helped me understand where some of my own
       | idiosyncracies come from.
       | 
       | I don't take any medication for ADHD, mainly because I also have
       | general anxiety and my understanding that is anxiety and ADHD
       | medications tend to interfere with one another. I need the
       | medication for my anxiety more; I've gone 30+ years coping with
       | my ADHD symptoms and working around them, so I don't really need
       | medication for them. But an official diagnosis is remarkably
       | freeing, because at least I can finally say "THIS is why I'm like
       | this".
        
         | pseudalopex wrote:
         | Stimulants tend to make anxiety worse. But treating ADHD tends
         | to make anxiety better. So it depends. And there are other ADHD
         | medications too.
        
       | richthegeek wrote:
       | I was diagnosed with ADHD 7 months ago. The diagnosis and
       | medication have been life-changing.
       | 
       | I was 'high-functioning', in much the same way as OP: stable
       | marriage, successful career, not much savings but at least not in
       | any debt.
       | 
       | But I also suffered from depression, anxiety, extreme
       | procrastination, substance abuse, risky and impulsive behaviour.
       | 
       | Of course I saw psychiatrists, and they stopped listening the
       | moment I said "depression" and prescribed the usual drugs, which
       | did nothing for me. Luckily my 3rd psychiatrist listened a bit
       | better and referred me for tests.
       | 
       | Since diagnosis I have started medication
       | (methylphenidate/Ritalin, the only real option in the country I
       | live in) my life has significantly improved. My procrastination
       | is almost entirely gone (now maybe 4 hours a week "wasted"
       | instead of 3+ days of being unable to do anything productive), my
       | work performance is drastically improved, I'm losing weight (no
       | longer dopamine-hunting with food), my wife says I'm doing more
       | 'chores' and forgetting little things (spoon in the sink instead
       | of the dishwasher) less often.
       | 
       | My depression and anxiety have disappeared. I still get
       | overwhelmed in loud/busy environments. I still have emotional
       | overreactions to small annoyances. I still forget things, and
       | procrastinate a little. But the key thing is acceptance. I
       | _understand_ why these things are happening now, and that
       | understanding makes them less hard to do live with.
       | 
       | Even if you don't start medication (and I suggest you do, it's
       | provably incredibly effective for most cases) the biggest thing
       | you can do is learn. You will be amazed for the first 6 months at
       | least that such a massive amount of your life has truly been
       | affected and so much of your 'unique personality' is shared with
       | other ADHD adults.
       | 
       | My psychiatrist answered my same question "How can I have ADHD if
       | my life is like this?" with "But how hard was it?". Success
       | despite ADHD doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It just means you
       | developed coping strategies for your deficiencies. And if you're
       | in therapy for family issues then clearly those strategies are
       | not working sufficiently.
        
       | codpiece wrote:
       | Thank you all for sharing so many valuable insights and
       | resources. I truly appreciate your input.
        
       | nonbirithm wrote:
       | The medication removed the issues I had with focus in 6-hour
       | intervals, but it didn't suddenly make me a better person.
       | 
       | I still feel like a person whose character is underdeveloped. My
       | life in the present is a blank slate. Not many ideas come to my
       | mind, and I feel as if I've closed myself off to everything.
       | 
       | The fact is, when you read things like books on developing self-
       | esteem, the issues make no mention of ADHD specifically in the
       | context of the larger issue. ADHD can be a single detrimental
       | component in a life that is, on the whole, dead and unfulfilling.
       | It might have been part of the reason for that unfulfillment, but
       | you still have to put in effort to go outside and meet people, or
       | choose which books to read, or decide what's interesting to you.
       | The medication at most gives me the opportunity to make that
       | choice, a choice which I can then deliberately refuse.
       | 
       | It's damn near impossible for me to stay positive or see the
       | value in accomplishing things. For example, I can't seem to
       | decide if the fact that I lose interest in video games after a
       | day, on medication or off, is because of a lack of executive
       | function or the fact that I've spent my whole life beating myself
       | up over losing, and still remember even the smallest losses years
       | later in excruciating detail. Or maybe it's something else
       | entirely. The loss of interest could be explained by multiple
       | factors, and maybe all I've done at this point is break through
       | the first barrier. It's my responsibility to decide what
       | narrative makes the most sense, and act accordingly.
       | 
       | I think the diagnosis has given me a license to stop taking
       | responsibility for a lot of things. I can deliberately stop
       | taking the medication and point to me stopping as the reason I
       | didn't do X today. Why didn't I do X? " _Because I 'm not the
       | kind of person that is able to just do X._" That's the default
       | mindset I carry, one that has persisted for well over a decade
       | before I was diagnosed with anything. And now that I have a
       | diagnosis I supposedly have concrete evidence that I can point to
       | so I can claim that mindset has been justified the whole time.
       | And it's easier for me to keep confirming that attitude by
       | sabotaging myself than changing it.
       | 
       | My problems extend far beyond the limitations imposed on me by
       | something like ADHD. The diagnosis did not flip a switch that let
       | me proceed on to a productive, fulfilling life. It gave me
       | crucial knowledge about some of my behaviors that has materially
       | benefited me, and it also gave me ammunition which I can use to
       | absolve myself of responsibility in unproductive ways and delay
       | my self-improvement further and further.
       | 
       | Honestly, I'm most inclined to believing the people that respond
       | to my grief with things like, "well, in the end, living life as
       | an adult is hard. Take responsibility." Those people include my
       | current therapist, and I don't think she's incorrect in saying
       | that. I can't count how many times I've wished someone would
       | essentially come along and help me, by drawing over my blank
       | slate with new ideas that I can pursue and new modes of thinking
       | to believe in. No such person is supposed to appear. I still
       | don't have someone I can always feel at ease communicating with,
       | as equals.
        
       | Loughla wrote:
       | So my take maybe isn't the healthiest on this, not sure.
       | 
       | If you believe you have ADHD, and your therapist believes you
       | have ADHD, _BUT your life isn 't negatively impacted by it_, why
       | start treatment now?
       | 
       | Ask yourself if you have any negative impacts from ADHD. Ask your
       | spouse. Personal relationships, professional work, all aspects.
       | If the answer is no, then why bother?
       | 
       | Source: ADHD treatments that left me a zombie when all I really
       | needed was therapy and help to figure out realistic, functional
       | coping mechanisms.
        
         | jkhdigital wrote:
         | I concur, and I think OP has the answer already. I went to a
         | psychiatrist (diagnosed at age 34) because of significant
         | problems that were getting in the way of life, but if that's
         | not the case for you then there is no justification for the
         | time and expense of treatment.
        
         | throwasquirrel wrote:
         | > If you believe you have ADHD, and your therapist believes you
         | have ADHD, _BUT your life isn 't negatively impacted by it,_
         | why start treatment now?
         | 
         | If your life isn't negatively impacted by it then you might be
         | hyperactive or have trouble paying attention, but you don't
         | have ADHD, _by definition._ It only becomes a disorder when it
         | 's causing a significant ongoing negative impact on your life.
        
           | Taylor_OD wrote:
           | I don't think you are correct. Just because the name has
           | disorder in it does not mean you have to have a significant
           | negative impact on your life.
           | 
           | It is a mental disorder. My brain functions differently than
           | a normal functioning brain without ADHD. I have built my life
           | in a way so that does not negatively impact my life
           | significantly.
        
           | codpiece wrote:
           | That's the crux of it right there. I've had a wonderful,
           | wonderful life, a rewarding career, a 30 year marriage and
           | raised intelligent, well-grounded kids. Not just by _my_
           | definition, but by those around me whom I respect.
        
             | throwasquirrel wrote:
             | On the one hand, it doesn't sound like any possible ADHD
             | tendencies you might have are causing you much grief. Also
             | remember that ADHD is hugely situational - I've had a
             | pretty great career and up until a year or two ago I
             | wouldn't have ever suspected I fit the bill. It was only
             | during a perfect storm of overlapping stressors that I
             | really felt like I was struggling.
             | 
             | On the other hand, just because you can survive doesn't
             | mean life has to be this hard. And looking back I now
             | realise that much of my life I was doing just that. I was
             | surviving, when I could have been doing so much better.
        
         | Matticus_Rex wrote:
         | On the other side of this, I wasn't sure if my life was
         | negatively impacted or not. I decided to try out medication to
         | see, and my wife and I instantly started noticing improvements
         | in our lives. I was getting more done with less mental strain,
         | and there were tons of tiny little things that she wasn't
         | having to remember for me or worry about because I wasn't
         | losing track of them.
         | 
         | YMMV.
        
         | 0_____0 wrote:
         | That's the healthiest take. Severity of any disorder is a
         | function of its effect on the person and the person's social
         | and life function. If these are minimal and minimal, IMO
         | pursuing medication is really not warranted.
        
         | patentatt wrote:
         | One of the DSM criteria is literally "There is clear evidence
         | that the symptoms interfere with, or reduce the quality of,
         | social, school, or work functioning." So if there isn't
         | something being affected, you don't meet the diagnosis
         | criteria.
        
         | gms7777 wrote:
         | As someone who has found ADHD medication to be hugely
         | beneficial, I completely agree with you. Treatment has its
         | tradeoffs. In general, stimulants greatly improve my quality of
         | life. But at the same time, they can wreck my appetite and make
         | me prone to anxiety and irritability. And dealing with the
         | bureaucracy of scheduled medications is a serious headache. If
         | someone is happy with their life and their symptoms aren't
         | negatively impacting them, then what's the point?
        
         | jnovek wrote:
         | ADHD impacts my life very much, but I was diagnosed as an
         | adult. I honestly have no idea how I operated pre-diagnosis
         | (and pre-medication). I think about some of the struggles I
         | went through (e.g. my entire educational experience or my
         | entire experience as a founder) and I really suffered in those
         | times.
         | 
         | However, I absolutely agree with you.
         | 
         | Daily stimulants are a frustrating balancing act. Anti-
         | depressants have frustrating side-effects. If I operated well
         | without either or both, I would drop them in a hot second.
         | 
         | I DO benefit from medication to a degree that it has vastly
         | improved my quality of life. I also benefit from therapy and
         | the development of coping tools -- in fact, I think anyone who
         | benefits from medication should also seek therapy because it's
         | SO helpful.
         | 
         | This isn't really a counterpoint to your experience, but more
         | of a companion-point. Your post doesn't make me think that you
         | are an irrationally anti-pill person or anything like that. I'm
         | just reinforcing what you've implied: treatment isn't one-size-
         | fits-all (although, at least in America, the medical system
         | sure tries to make it that way). It's incredibly important for
         | anyone with ADHD to find the right tools for them.
        
         | renewiltord wrote:
         | It's literally only a disorder if it interferes with your life.
         | Otherwise, it's not a disorder. Like, it's in the definition.
         | 
         | https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/diagnosis.html
         | 
         | This is true of almost all of these disorders: no interference
         | with life means not a disorder.
         | 
         | Saying "if you have no negative effects from ADHD" is the same
         | as saying "if you're alive when you're dead".
        
           | Loughla wrote:
           | My personal experience with ADHD is that you are told it is a
           | problem that needs medication, regardless of whether or not
           | it impacts your life in a serious way.
           | 
           | Often, psychologists/psychiatrists/medical doctors will fail
           | to include the literal definition of disorder. ADHD is one of
           | those things that is a popular target for medications as a
           | knee-jerk reaction.
           | 
           | That was sort of my point, I guess.
        
         | wy35 wrote:
         | > Source: ADHD treatments that left me a zombie when all I
         | really needed was therapy and help to figure out realistic,
         | functional coping mechanisms.
         | 
         | A good psychiatrist will have you do all of the above.
        
         | slothtrop wrote:
         | Thanks for your more nuanced take.
        
         | elliekelly wrote:
         | I think sometimes it's hard to tell whether something is
         | interfering or not. If you've been squeaking by your whole life
         | you might think this is "normal" simply because you've never
         | experienced _actual_ normal.
         | 
         | I go back and forth with ADHD meds. I'd say every 18 months or
         | so I decide to take a week or two off. Sometimes that break
         | goes on for a while because I think everything is fine and
         | dandy. I think the longest I was off medication since starting
         | (as an adult) was about 18 months. I can sometimes get by okay
         | without meds, and sometimes that's my preferred course of
         | action, but invariably when I start taking them again I
         | "remember" what it's like not to have a crippling inability to
         | do exceedingly simple tasks. And honestly, it's kind of nice.
         | Much less mentally exhausting.
        
       | pipogld wrote:
       | If you do not have some sort of big problem in relation to
       | suspected ADHD, then it might only help you to know yourself
       | better. ADHD is only a handicap in certain situations. In others,
       | it might help a lot (ie Wayne Gretsky). Also a small fraction of
       | ADHDers are 'over-compensated'. (Google it.) You might be one of
       | us. :)
        
       | codingdave wrote:
       | My first reaction would be to say that if you are doing fine,
       | don't worry about it. Yet, you sought out therapy for a family
       | issue, and that therapist went to this place. Odds are that they
       | believe it would help. So I'd be asking this question to your
       | therapist, not to us. They know the details of the situation and
       | are a professional, whereas we are neither.
       | 
       | After all, a therapist is a partner in your treatment, not a
       | dictator. If you express discomfort at this idea and tell them
       | so, they should be able to work with that.
        
       | bboykicx wrote:
       | I asked my doctor if blind people who never had sight suffered
       | from adhd and she replied she didn't know and was unaware of any
       | studies .. I feel adhd is brought on by the screens 30 frames a
       | sec flashing the eyes has to do something to our attention span.
       | J/S
        
       | tummulfingur wrote:
       | Be wary of the possible dry mouth side-effect. As far as my
       | experiences go the feeling of dry mouth is due to reduced saliva
       | production, and just drinking water will not solve the issue. Too
       | little saliva lowers your oral health and as a result can
       | accelerate tooth decay (among other things).
        
       | krageon wrote:
       | I got it, got the medication (and it helped a ton). Then the next
       | doctor said the last doctor was completely wrong. Now I have
       | something completely different (and very different medication,
       | which also helps but not quite in the same way). If you do get
       | one I would urge you to carefully consider whether or not you
       | want further investigation after that, especially if you're
       | outside the norm mentally. Every new doctor you get will question
       | every doctor you've ever had and want to redo everything, which
       | takes a ton of time. Expect every doctor to add 12 months delay
       | to whatever treatment you might to get.
       | 
       | That said, getting help _at all_ if you have no other choice
       | (i.e. you are objectively incapable of functioning) is a good
       | idea. The real challenge lies in knowing when to call it a day :)
        
       | lil-kernel wrote:
       | I've been on a low dose of Ritalin for a few months now and it's
       | been life changing. I was self medicating with a lot of caffeine
       | (which definitely wasn't good for me) and I couldn't really
       | choose when my brain would kick in. Sometimes it'd be at like 9
       | pm and I'd just work till 2am. Not great for someone trying to
       | have a normal sleep schedule. Medication has helped me add some
       | scheduling to my brain. I take a small dose in the morning and
       | another in the afternoon; I feel focused the entire day, and I'm
       | tired when I come home. I've been on a good sleep schedule for
       | quite some time now, my caffeine consumption lowered a good bit,
       | and I do feel happier. Maybe it's the meds, maybe it's a side
       | effect of feeling like I can actually be a performant human
       | during work hours. Either way, I'll take it. I think it's worth
       | at least exploring medication. I did a blind trial with my doctor
       | to see how it affected me and that made me feel a bit more
       | confident that this was a good route.
        
       | nszceta wrote:
       | Day 3 of a salt water only fast gives me a level of focus I could
       | cut diamonds with. No drugs necessary. I've had better long term
       | success with ADHD with increased fat intake and decreased
       | carbohydrate intake.
        
       | Romulus968 wrote:
       | I didn't know I had ADHD until I was 31. But goddamn when I found
       | out what made me the way I was and was able to get help, my world
       | changed. No longer did I question why I couldn't remember
       | anything or stay focused for longer than 10 minutes. Why I loved
       | my job but seemed to struggle with it.
       | 
       | I took the help, and I feel better for it.
       | 
       | You should at least let them run the tests. What do you have to
       | lose?
        
       | whiddershins wrote:
       | An adhd diagnosis helped me a lot in my late 20s.
       | 
       | I took Ritalin for a brief period and it opened my eyes to
       | different ways of seeing things. I actually believe in Ritalin
       | more than adhd diagnoses. But it stopped being effective for me
       | after a while, and same for most people i know. Also, side
       | effects. But getting perspective helped me change certain
       | behaviors which were causing problems for me.
       | 
       | But honestly, and this is very forward to say, I would stop
       | seeing this therapist. I have had similar experiences to you,
       | where I try to go to a therapist for one thing, and they send me
       | down some other road entirely. This has never been helpful.
       | Generally it has been destructive. Therapists are like everyone
       | else, in that many of them aren't that good. And just like how a
       | bad mechanic can cost you money and ruin your car, so can a bad
       | or even mediocre therapist screw up your life. Seriously. Don't
       | be pushed into some random diagnosis by some therapist who has
       | some idea in their head.
        
       | jcims wrote:
       | Since this post will likely attract my people, I'm curious how
       | folks with an ADHD diagnosis have adapted to working from home.
       | If possible, separate the comfort of it from the productivity of
       | it.
       | 
       | I find personally that it's _much_ more comfortable working from
       | home, and while there have been many  'blown days' due to lapses
       | in discipline, I can have days where I crush it as well. Open
       | plan office environments are like someone is jamming my brain
       | with a microwave, I can't accomplish anything. High-walled
       | cubicle environments are better but all it takes is someone with
       | a smelly lunch or wheezy breath and I'm off track.
        
         | 1experience wrote:
         | Either dedicate a room to study and work or change the
         | environment when you have to (like assigning a specific color
         | with led lights). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snAhsXyO3Ck
         | 
         | If that doesn't work, I would go out and study in a library or
         | park.
        
         | rm8x wrote:
         | I needed to setup a separate office for work stuff and work
         | stuff only before I really got into a WFH rhythm. Definitely
         | have experiences that match yours in office environment.
        
           | adhd-thrwaway-0 wrote:
           | Same. I had to physically separate myself from my personal
           | computer because I frequently found myself working on side
           | projects, playing video games, or literally anything else
           | that grabbed my attention.
        
       | iainctduncan wrote:
       | My advice: get a second opinion from a cognitive behavioural
       | therapist. If you are already high functioning and happy with
       | your life, mind altering drugs (which ADHD prescriptions most
       | definitely are) _could_ be a loaded foot-gun. CBT on the other
       | hand is literally the same body of techniques used under other
       | names by top athletes, musicians, and anyone else for whom real-
       | time mental focus is a huge part of their career.
       | 
       | Please note, I am not saying ADHD does not exist, nor am I saying
       | that the Rx's are not necessarily wonderful for _some people_ ,
       | nor am I anti-drug. I have no doubt that for some people ADHD
       | medication has been a life-saver. But it doesn't sound like you
       | _necessarily_ are one of those people, and there is no doubt a
       | problem with a segment of the psychiatric profession being very
       | quick to prescribe drug based solutions. The fact that you
       | exhibit what your current doctor calls symptoms is not
       | necessarily justification for changing anything or adopting a new
       | drug regime. And we can all benefit from the mental discipline of
       | CBT practices. I had an ex go through a CBT program for social
       | anxiety and it was life changing for her - without drugs.
        
         | iainctduncan wrote:
         | As an example, I had a doctor prescribe me anti-psychosis
         | medication in small doses for a really bad bout of migraines,
         | medication which had known mood changing side-effects.
         | 
         | I needed glasses.
        
       | adflux wrote:
       | I'd recommend everyone who thinks he or she has ADHD to keep in
       | mind that there are clinics who literally make money by
       | diagnosing you. So make sure you don't go to one of those. This
       | is a problem, even in the Netherlands
       | https://www.trouw.nl/zorg/in-de-adhd-fabriek-is-de-diagnose-... I
       | wish I could find a translated version for you.
       | 
       | Anyways, Methlyphinidate (ritalin) should be your very LAST step.
       | Before that, clean up your workspace, disable distracting apps on
       | your phone and computer, use a site blocker... And consider that
       | a lack of discipline is not caused by ADHD.
       | 
       | I speak with experience here, because I was "diagnosed" with this
       | "mental illness" before it was cool, about two decades ago, when
       | the teachers noted I couldn't pay attention in class. Took
       | ritalin for about a decade. Always thought I had trouble
       | concentrating, like I was told right? Well, a few years ago I
       | rented an office space with a friend of mine, just the two of us
       | in a very spacious (100m2), light and well-ventilated office. We
       | received no phone calls, there were no people walking in, or cats
       | and girlfriends asking for attention. I had less distractions
       | than I had at home, and much less than in a traditional office.
       | And it was a dedicated area for "work". A comfortable desk and
       | chair, two monitors and a fast pc. Having worked in such a proper
       | environment, I will never say I have trouble concentrating again.
       | 
       | Anyways, what exactly do you think you have to gain by being
       | "diagnosed" with ADHD?
        
         | skinkestek wrote:
         | > Anyways, what exactly do you think you have to gain by being
         | "diagnosed" with ADHD? Except for an "excuse" for your
         | problems?
         | 
         | For me it helped me realize that I not normal.
         | 
         | I excel at certain things (creative thinking, handling
         | unexpected situations) and I'm hopeless at others (following
         | through on plans that doesn't have to be acted on daily).
         | 
         | I have decided to not use it as an excuse and told my wife so
         | so she doesn't feel sorry for me.
         | 
         | I've decided to exploit my disability for all that it is worth:
         | I deal with tricky customers at work because it is easy for me,
         | I wake up before certain others goes to bed etc etc. I am
         | different and I not only accept it but actively enjoy it and
         | take advantage of it.
         | 
         | Also I know I speak out more easily than others so I accept
         | that I should raise my treshold for when to speak out.
         | 
         | My life has become better after doing this.
         | 
         | Oh, and not a bad word about Ritalin, but be aware that for
         | some it works wonders, for others it has nasty side effects
         | (muscle tension, weight loss) and also the exact brand and
         | capsules makes a difference (yes, they are supposed to be
         | identical but I guess it is something about the microbiome
         | because I have seen it too many times no so.)
        
         | WhyNotHugo wrote:
         | Yeah, if _things_ distract you easily, it's one thing.
         | Notifications are DESIGNED to distract you, if they do, that's
         | not an indicator of anything.
         | 
         | ADHD is more like "I was cooking dinner and got distracted by
         | the idea of cleaning the toilet, so here I am buying new socks.
         | Oh, the unfinished dinner is still on the counter."
        
           | jkhdigital wrote:
           | Your example is a pretty extreme caricature; I suspect many
           | of us are more familiar with the slower but broader version
           | of this sequence where we gain and lose interest in
           | careers/partners/lifestyles with alarming and exhausting
           | frequency.
        
             | Ancapistani wrote:
             | > our example is a pretty extreme caricature
             | 
             | Extreme, yes, but far from a caricature.
             | 
             | You should see my office. I'm constantly surrounded by
             | unfinished projects - I either unmedicated and don't have
             | the ability to finish them because I'm distracted by other
             | things, or I'm medicated and don't have time to finish them
             | because I'm trying to catch up with the things that I've
             | neglected because I didn't have the ability to prioritize
             | them.
        
             | tgaj wrote:
             | For some it's not a caricature. For me is how my life looks
             | like without meds. But yeah, ADHD is probably a spectrum.
        
             | q3k wrote:
             | > Your example is a pretty extreme caricature;
             | 
             | It's a caricature? I've only recently learned that this is
             | not something that everyone struggles with daily...
        
         | instagraham wrote:
         | Wow, this is like a textbook example of how not to comment on
         | ADHD.
         | 
         | 1 - Ritalin is not the only treatment meted out to those with
         | ADHD
         | 
         | 2 - ADHD isn't an "excuse". If cleaning one's desk was the
         | solution to it, we wouldn't be discussing it so much today -
         | and it wouldn't be one of the most studied-conditions of all
         | time.
        
         | Ensorceled wrote:
         | It sounds like you actually have ADHD but can control it with
         | the perfect environment. Others are not so lucky; either
         | lacking the ability to create the perfect ADHD haven or that
         | haven only working for a while before they relapse.
         | 
         | > Anyways, what exactly do you think you have to gain by being
         | "diagnosed" with ADHD? Except for an "excuse" for your
         | problems?
         | 
         | Please don't dismiss mental illness this way.
        
           | adflux wrote:
           | That was too harsh, sorry.
        
             | Ensorceled wrote:
             | Apology accepted. Emotional responses are an ADHD symptom
             | :-)
        
               | adflux wrote:
               | Hahaha as are breathing and requiring water to stay alive
               | I think
        
         | sobellian wrote:
         | As a counterpoint, I was diagnosed with ADD (now known as ADHD-
         | PI) a couple decades ago as a child and initially took
         | medication for it, but complained about the effects and so my
         | parents agreed to stop giving me medication. This kind of
         | decision seems manageable at the time if you're bright enough
         | that you can skate through school regardless of how much work
         | you actually do.
         | 
         | You cannot skate through adulthood this way. My condition,
         | ADHD-PI, is characterized by the tendency to lose focus on dull
         | activities while hyper-focusing on fun activities. If my
         | current task is interesting then I could work even with a rock
         | concert held 5 feet away. This sounds like a superpower but if
         | a task is not interesting then the slightest distraction
         | totally derails me. There are ways for me to trick myself but
         | they are unreliable and my brain will eventually route around
         | them.
         | 
         | I do my best to always work on something interesting, but this
         | isn't always possible and the productivity hit can be quite
         | large. My solution was to get a prescription for Adderall XR.
         | With the benefit of hindsight I regret ever going off
         | medication. I don't think it's always necessary but if you have
         | these problems, you've been diagnosed, and it's severe enough
         | that you have become depressed (this is very common among
         | adults with ADHD) you should really consider it.
        
           | adflux wrote:
           | lose focus on dull activities
           | 
           | This doesn't sound like a mental illness, but rather a part
           | of the human condition, don't you think?
        
             | Ancapistani wrote:
             | > lose focus on dull activities
             | 
             | You mean like getting distracted while actively having sex
             | by the way the light is filtering through the leaves
             | outside my bedroom window?
             | 
             | How about missing half of what your spouse is saying to you
             | because you suddenly remembered an insight you had about
             | how relative speed and the perception of the passage of
             | time are linked, thereby forming a universal constant
             | connecting both?
             | 
             | ... or maybe you mean not being able to remember anything
             | you need while at the grocery store because instead you
             | remembered you needed something from the auto parts store,
             | and having to drive to the auto parts store and buy that
             | thing because it completely fills your consciousness and
             | makes you unable to think about what food you need for the
             | week until you have it in your hand?
             | 
             | In all seriousness - whether an activity is "dull" or not
             | has little bearing on whether I can focus on it. My focus
             | is ephemeral, and feels like something completely out of my
             | control most of the time. Medication gives me _some_
             | ability to direct it.
             | 
             | I hear people talking about "not looking forward" to doing
             | things. I can't relate at all. I dread even the things I
             | want to do, because I'm not sure if I'll be able to do
             | them.
        
             | sobellian wrote:
             | It all lies on a spectrum. No one likes doing something
             | dull but with ADD it can become so intense as to be
             | debilitating. You always procrastinate to the last second
             | on everything, sometimes far past the last second. Left
             | untreated you attain a reputation as a lazy flake and it
             | affects your work, your relationships, etc.
        
             | falcolas wrote:
             | Yes, and no. Yes, because people do get bored. No, because
             | with ADHD, you can't even _force_ yourself to focus despite
             | the boredom. Bribes, identification of potential
             | consequences, punishment - none of these work.
        
       | ravenstine wrote:
       | The biggest help is that you understand why certain things happen
       | to you so that you can accept and move on from them, rather than
       | be eternally confused and ashamed that you seem to have greater
       | challenges with basic things than everyone else. You can do
       | things to treat the symptoms, but there's something to be said
       | about also accepting who you are and being able to laugh at
       | yourself.
        
       | n1000 wrote:
       | I read this post from 2015 yesterday and was amused because the
       | guy clearly seemed to have ADHD in my opinion [0]. Then in the
       | comments on HN somebody mentioned that the author recently wrote
       | about being diagnosed at 40, which may be an interesting read
       | here [1]. The author says it was like living the Truman show.
       | 
       | ADHD can be harmful and comes with a bunch of comorbidities that
       | can also develop later in life. If you have trouble listening,
       | tend to hyperfocus on things but also emotional states, etc. I
       | recommend going forward with a diagnosis.
       | 
       | [0] https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27495535 [1]
       | https://www.raptitude.com/2021/03/what-raptitude-has-always-...
        
         | codpiece wrote:
         | Thank you. I'm reading both now. Funny how his blog is about
         | 'living your best life', the exact reason I went to therapy to
         | begin with.
         | 
         | I don't have trouble listening, but the opposite. I empathize
         | so strongly when people talk to me about their problems that I
         | end up exhausted.
        
       | hob_code wrote:
       | I imagine most of the stories you'll hear here are going to talk
       | about how transformative a diagnosis was and the immense positive
       | change most people have felt after starting medication. I do
       | think this is probably the most common experience but my personal
       | experience is a lot more mixed, and my relationship with my ADHD
       | diagnosis and medication is complicated.
       | 
       | To start with, it wasn't a surprise when I was diagnosed as an
       | adult. Teachers suggested I get tested for ADHD throughout my
       | entire childhood but my parents held off since I wasn't a
       | disruptive student, did well academically, and had often voiced
       | an interest in joining the military and a childhood diagnosis of
       | ADHD could potentially be disqualifying.
       | 
       | Ultimately though my goals changed and ended up going to graduate
       | school with an aim to study cognitive science. That's when I
       | decided to get tested, and not surprisingly, I was diagnosed with
       | ADHD predominately inattentive subtype and prescribed Vyvanse.
       | The change was profound. Before medication I would start books
       | and never complete them, but suddenly I was finishing several
       | books a month. I found keeping tack of things and cleaning and
       | organizing my environment became second nature where I had
       | struggled deeply with those things before. It also lead me to a
       | career in tech. Prior to starting medication I had always had an
       | appreciation for formal systems and logic, but Vyvanse super-
       | charged that. I was suddenly able to deeply engage with math and
       | formal logic in a way I hadn't been able to before because of my
       | lack of focus. I became interested in software development.
       | Taking Vyvanse and writing code became probably my favorite
       | activity, and it's because of medication and my ADHD diagnosis
       | that I ultimately became a software developer. I excelled at
       | coding because I loved doing it. I would pop a Vyvanse and code
       | for hours. Ultimately however, it became the only thing I really
       | enjoyed. I would take an extra pill to stay up late and finish
       | tasks, or get work done on a side-project. I ended up taking more
       | than prescribed and I would run out before my refill was
       | available leading me to have huge surges of productivity at the
       | beginning of the month and huge periods of inactivity at the end
       | when I was out of pills and suffered rebound effects like a
       | complete inability to focus and extreme fatigue from not sleeping
       | or eating correctly while on meds. In the end I realized it was
       | also starting to take a toll on my personal relationships since I
       | was living in my head all of the time not giving my live-in
       | girlfriend nearly enough attention and instead just working and
       | coding. So I decided to quit. After quitting my productivity took
       | a hit, but ultimately I was able to reach a decent level of
       | performance, though no where near what I had been doing
       | previously. But I realized I was no longer deeply engaged with my
       | work and I ended up transitioning careers from software
       | development to becoming a sales engineer/solution architect.
       | 
       | Now, several years after quitting, I'm much happier. My live-in
       | girlfriend is now my wife and I have a much better work-life
       | balance. I'm still a bit of a workaholic, but I can disengage and
       | maintain a better balance. Working as a sales engineer is also a
       | really nice spot for my ADHD mind as constantly jumping between
       | tasks and moving between technical and non-technical activities
       | keeps me stimulated. I could never have done this job while on
       | Vyvanse, as the focus I got from the meds would actually make it
       | difficult for me to effectively move between so many different
       | events in a day. Of course, I also can't code like a used to, but
       | I do still enjoy engaging deeply with technical topics of
       | interest. The odd reality for me though is that without that
       | diagnosis and the medication I never would have been able to find
       | a role like the one that I have now, which is such a good match
       | for my unmedicated brain. I was able to derive a foundational
       | knowledge about tech and computer science that I use today
       | because of medication, and I don't know exactly where I would be
       | if I hadn't gone down that road initially.
       | 
       | Looking back it's not too surprising I ended up abusing a
       | prescription. Substance abuse disorder is a common comorbidity
       | for people with ADHD and while that's often attributed to self-
       | medication, I don't think that was the case for me. I just like
       | altered states. I experimented with a range of drugs in college
       | but it's easy to put up boundaries around things like that when
       | you know it's recreational. When you're using a prescribed
       | medicine it's much easier to justify the behavior. I think most
       | people who are prescribed stimulants will take them correctly and
       | will likely see a benefit from doing so. I don't think that's an
       | option for me though and I've found more success building a life
       | compatible with my condition rather than trying to fight it.
       | There was a now deleted site called Quitting Adderall[1] that
       | shared other people's similar experiences and it really resonated
       | with me when I was considering the change.
       | 
       | That said there's no obligation to take stimulant medication if
       | you do pursue a diagnosis, and I wouldn't tell you not to try
       | stimulants if you think there could be benefit. I would just
       | advise you to monitor yourself if you do take them, especially if
       | you have a personal or family history of substance abuse.
       | 
       | 1.
       | https://web.archive.org/web/20210125224905/http://quittingad...
        
       | T3RMINATED wrote:
       | I used Adderrall 30mg x 2 for a few years. I started to have
       | issues, shaking, back-pain etc...
       | 
       | I switched to Adderrall XR 30mg and issues are gone. If you do
       | consider Adderrall try the XR, it might not be the SUPERBOOST
       | people want, but it may be safer.
        
       | sersi wrote:
       | I have recently been diagnosed while being in a very similar
       | situation as you. I have had and still have a successful career,
       | I'm in a stable relationship, have good savings and a great life.
       | 
       | I've been seen as gifted as a child so fit within the so-called
       | twice exceptional criteria...
       | 
       | I don't regret getting diagnosed and having confirmation of it (I
       | ran relatively extensive tests to confirm this which took 8 hours
       | in total and cost me quite a bit).
       | 
       | In my case, it's been helpful because I'm moving more and more
       | towards management and ADHD is sometimes detrimental to some of
       | my new responsibilities. Knowing that I have ADHD and reading
       | about resources to manage it has certainly been helpful.
       | 
       | I was prescribed Concerta which is helpful on some days when I
       | need to work on things that are extremely boring and that I'd
       | normally have a hard time doing. However, I take it less than 4
       | times a month, so extremely rarely. I have however noticed that I
       | cannot take it on days when I am sleep deprived as it would cause
       | me to become extremely sleepy.
        
       | TableOtter wrote:
       | As others have mentioned, exploring a diagnosis is about more
       | than just medication. Getting diagnosed and understanding how
       | ADHD impacts me helped me understand myself better and stop
       | beating myself up for the things I couldn't control. It changed
       | the way I think about myself. Even though I had all the hallmarks
       | of a good life on paper (did well in school, got a good job,
       | stable relationship, etc.), I also felt imposter syndrome and
       | ashamed for how chaotic and unstable I felt on the inside.
       | Learning about ADHD helped me understand my strengths and
       | weaknesses and how to work with them.
       | 
       | My diagnosis also helped my family, after I got diagnosed my dad
       | and younger brother were diagnosed too. It saved my parent's
       | relationship because my mom finally understood that parts of my
       | dad's personality and his behavior were caused by the ADHD, not
       | because he didn't care enough or because he was a bad
       | husband/father.
        
       | RHSman2 wrote:
       | Massively. Like getting the first of many tremendous insights
       | into how I interact with this reality.
        
       | adhd-thrwaway-0 wrote:
       | Throwaway since I'll be discussing some fairly personal topics.
       | 
       | I was diagnosed over a decade ago at the age of 19 and have been
       | in treatment ever since. The changes as a result of getting
       | medication and attending therapy have be profound and decidedly
       | mixed. One thing I'm just going to say upfront is that if anyone
       | reading this thread decides to seek treatment, please don't
       | solely rely on medication. The medication allows your ADHD to
       | become manageable, but crucially it does not manage it for you.
       | 
       | Good changes:
       | 
       | 1) Social life immediately and greatly improved. I was able to
       | hold my attention when talking to people. My tangents became less
       | wandering and frequent. I had the focus to make plans and
       | actually follow through with them. I texted people back (this
       | alone was huge).
       | 
       | 2) I lose things less often. Before starting treatment I was
       | notorious among my family and peer group for losing things. I
       | still lose things all the time, but now it's usually because I
       | put something down in my house rather than losing things in
       | public.
       | 
       | 3) Improved physical health. The appetite suppressant aspect of
       | stimulants play a role here, but I think the bigger thing here is
       | less impulsive food choices. Because I just don't feel as hungry,
       | I have to plan my meals better and so I eat healthier. It's also
       | easier to stick to an exercise schedule.
       | 
       | 4) I can sit still and be quiet. Looking back at my childhood, it
       | should have been fairly obvious what was going on, but I believe
       | the mindset was medication was only for kids with poor academic
       | achievement. The scale of lost time has been personally
       | frustrating, but I am grateful for not being put on medication
       | when I was young child.
       | 
       | Bad Changes:
       | 
       | 1) Massively increased libido. The stimulants can increase sex
       | drive, but can also make orgasm more difficult while also
       | sometimes making it more difficult to maintain an erection. While
       | these last two can be frustrating on a personal level, the hyper
       | sexuality can be quite destructive when not kept in check.
       | 
       | 2) The hyper focus aspects of ADHD are now basically on all the
       | time. Medication is less a guided missile and more a laser.
       | Instead of taking it and 'magically' getting things done, your
       | attention is now dialed into whatever you point it at. This can
       | be extremely productive, or not. I have less 'lost days' than I
       | did before seeking treatment but those days now have a greater
       | intensity.
       | 
       | 3) It can be easy to get into stimulant fueled cycles of self-
       | destruction. I need to be very disciplined about getting enough
       | food and sleep. The drugs make it easy to shrug off a night or
       | two of little sleep. But using drugs to ignore my body leads to
       | much worse ADHD symptoms then if I hadn't been taking the drugs
       | at all.
       | 
       | 4) There is a distinct difference in my personality on days when
       | I take my drugs and days I do not; see Good Changes, point (1).
       | This can be hard for other people, especially romantic partners,
       | to deal with.
       | 
       | Overall I'm happy that I've pursued medication in combination
       | with therapy. It has let me get a handle on my life, but anyone
       | who says it's all good is not telling the truth.
        
       | JanSoy wrote:
       | I've been diagnosed a couple of months ago and here my main
       | takeaways: 1) My self confidence improved: I know I don't "mess
       | up" because I'm lazy, stupid or don't care - it's just how my
       | brain works 2) I can drastically reduce the amount of "messing
       | up" by taking medication 3) Now I can get things done with half
       | the mental _strain_ and drastically less "mess-ups"
       | 
       | TL:DR - Therapy is also essential, especially if you have built
       | an adult life & persona to counteract the ADHD symptoms. What is
       | "you" and what has been a coping mechanism? It's fascinating
       | indeed.
        
       | WhyNotHugo wrote:
       | I was diagnosed about a year ago (I'll be 34 tomorrow).
       | 
       | I went to the therapist to ~figure out if~ confirm that I was on
       | the Autism spectrum, and they pointed out that it sounded like
       | there was some ADHD too, so it was something very unexpected for
       | me. In hindsight, very obvious too.
       | 
       | It's been very insightful. On the more personal side, it's helped
       | me understand a lot about my life and why so many things went
       | they way they went. It's now clear that some teachers were
       | _hinting_ the issue at my parents in school, but they never
       | picked up on that.
       | 
       | On a more practical side, medication has helped a lot in focusing
       | better and work and alike. However, it IS a tool, and you need to
       | learn to use it. Having ADHD is like aiming your attention at
       | things with a shotgun, and medication turns that into a sniper --
       | you can direct your focus very well, but it takes some training
       | to learn _how_ to do that.
       | 
       | It's also important to balance it out. I take far less on the
       | weekends since that helps wind down a lot.
       | 
       | I came across this youtube channel recently which is pretty
       | interesting. It's always useful to hear how others have dealt
       | with the same struggles: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-
       | nPM1_kSZf91ZGkcgy_95Q
        
         | falcolas wrote:
         | "How to ADHD" is a fantastic resource. She's honest, funny, and
         | reaches out to professionals to make sure she isn't fertilizing
         | her audience.
        
       | ssharp wrote:
       | I finally decided to talk to someone about this about two years
       | ago, in my mid-30's. I was always able to achieve satisfactory
       | results in school, work, etc. without have to dedicate myself too
       | much. As I got older, it became clear to me that other people
       | were able to focus substantially more than me for longer periods
       | of time. The more I read up about Adult ADHD, the more it became
       | very obvious that I had it.
       | 
       | I've found that adderrall, for me, has been very helpful and has
       | not really produced any negative side-effects. I don't take it on
       | the weekends and will skip a week or so every now and then, just
       | to get a read on how I'm feeling without it.
       | 
       | One thing to keep in mind is to check your expectations. Normal
       | stimulant dosing for treating ADHD is not going to make you
       | limitless. Your mind will be able to stay more focused but you
       | need to actively use that focus to start developing
       | organizational frameworks that you can work within. Building
       | these frameworks and habits and sticking to them was extremely
       | difficult prior to medication but now that I have them, I find it
       | much easier to skip the meds and still be able to be as
       | productive as I want to be.
       | 
       | I would recommend you find someone who specializes in Adult ADHD,
       | especially one that has experience dealing with otherwise
       | competent professionals because they'll be able to help you make
       | the most of your treatment.
       | 
       | Also, no matter how much you might beat yourself up over lot
       | being able to live up to the standards you'd like, please be
       | grateful for what you've accomplished even with your limits.
       | Unfortunately a lot of people with untreated (and even treated)
       | ADHD fall into vicious cycles of risky behavior and end up with
       | crippling addictions to drugs, gambling, sex, and other dopamine-
       | producing behaviors.
        
       | failwhaleshark wrote:
       | ADHD-PI at 38.
       | 
       | Well, it didn't help except to try psychiatric meds that I can't
       | tolerate. 25 years after dad declared "Damn psychologist [sic]
       | quacks don't know what they're talking about. They're liberals
       | trying to control boys with medication. It's a myth!"
       | 
       | And now I can't interact with people properly because they all
       | think I'm a weirdo.
       | 
       | How many close friends do I have? 0
       | 
       | How many friends do I have? 0
       | 
       | How many acquaintances do I have? 0.25
       | 
       | How many family members do I have? 1
       | 
       | It's not even recognized or appreciated by Americans, they just
       | automatically reject me and then must gossip about how I'm a
       | terrible weirdo. I still try, but there's almost no return on
       | effort. I shouldn't even bother because it's futile.
       | 
       | It's why I do most everything for myself, by myself, and I never
       | depend on anyone else unless I pay them (transactionalization and
       | commodification of every interaction).
       | 
       | If you don't plan on having a family, I highly-suggest staying in
       | top physical and mental shape, or you'll end-up warehoused in
       | some disgusting, horrible place at the end of your life where
       | your life will be hell and cut short.
       | 
       | How many times have I thought about suicide? Hundreds. Seriously?
       | Dozens.
        
         | digitalsushi wrote:
         | This is harrowing. I hope you can keep finding energy to give
         | people a chance. I believe everyone has their 'people' but the
         | tragedy is that it can take an entire lifetime to discover
         | them.
         | 
         | Finding someone with even less, and giving them some of yours,
         | can have wildly unpredictable rewards. And even if there is no
         | reward, it's still damned distracting in a way that we need.
         | 
         | Don't give up on people, even when they all let you down so
         | far.
        
           | failwhaleshark wrote:
           | That's the "lite," family-friendly, optimistic version.
           | Between the ages of 13-16, I fantasized repeatedly about how
           | to blow myself up in the middle of nowhere to leave no trace.
           | 
           | When you do the same thing and expect a different result,
           | isn't that the definition of stupidity or insanity? At some
           | point, _the problem is you_ if people react the similarly.
           | So, it 's either a matter of forcing other people to be
           | uncomfortable, trying much harder to remember the thousands
           | of ways to not make others uncomfortable, or giving up.
           | 
           | I am guilty of oversharing, of assuming familiarity too
           | quickly, and of anxious-avoidance. And, more recently, I had
           | a test result of testosterone come back as 200 when it was
           | 800 (300-1000 normal)... no idea yet why it is so low, but I
           | do have a headache, sleepiness, sleeplessness, and no energy
           | at all all of the time.
           | 
           | I also need to look at it from another perspective: I am
           | defective in the natural selection of things, or I would've
           | been selected for. That's the breaks of mutations,
           | recombination, and selection: not everyone can be a
           | bulletproof, perfectly clear-headed, polyglot, polymath,
           | artistic, model, comedian, and graceful social master.
           | 
           | Between about 19-20 (1998-9), I went hikikomori around the
           | corner from eBay.
           | 
           | And then, 30-38 (2009-17) I lived in vehicles in the Valley.
           | 
           | I had to move during the pandemic but I don't know anyone in
           | ATX. The neighbors I've met are by-and-large, immature, vain,
           | gossiping kidults so intensely concerned about appearances
           | and status amongst the other elitist, self-absorbed, self-
           | esteem (learned narcissism), entitled nobodies. They're
           | mostly sales people, low-level managers, marketing people,
           | and coders of the Millennial generation from 75th-downwards
           | colleges without advanced degrees who assume they're so
           | amazing and living-it-up because they can afford a
           | relatively-expensive apartment (it's cheap for me). They
           | party too hard with substances, so I also backed-off.
           | 
           | Recently around the pool, I saw a guy who was a dead ringer
           | for a Soviet illegal posing as a WASP from _Spies Like Us._
           | The two women he met were wearing dresses that looked like
           | solid-colored Lolita packages with giant bows on the back.
           | They were, of course, unwilling to acknowledge the presence
           | of anyone but themselves. I thought I was watching
           | performance art, some sort of kink, religious sect, foreign
           | visitors, or they arrived on a time-machine from
           | Massachusetts in 1987.
        
         | codpiece wrote:
         | Oh, dear God. I am so sorry to hear your story. Don't give up,
         | friend. There's a place on this earth for all of us, no matter
         | how weird we are.
        
           | failwhaleshark wrote:
           | Maybe I just chose the wrong physical place to live amongst a
           | bunch of shallow, narcissistic, Millennial, "party hard,
           | bro!," "stock broker"-types who emotionally failed-to-launch
           | past high school.
           | 
           | All the dudes I swear have an IQ about 105 and do exactly the
           | same thing: show off their muscles everyday at the pool and
           | try to impress the ladies with their physiques, their
           | sunglasses, and backwards hats.
        
       | d0mine wrote:
       | You could find benefits for your life without a formal diagnosis:
       | - you might learn that some traits are not your personal moral
       | failures but just symptoms of underlying physical condition that
       | you can workaround. There are other people like you - you can
       | learn tricks from other people who identify with similar
       | symptoms(tricks such as alarms, schedules, tight feedback loops ,
       | running/lifting weights that may increase productivity)
       | 
       | Even I f you don't have the diagnosis, most tricks may improve
       | your life (the difference being: if you have the condition, you
       | have to do many of them just to function at any level).
        
       | NateEag wrote:
       | Having a diagnosis gives you the option to try medication of
       | several varieties that are not otherwise legally available to you
       | in the US.
       | 
       | For some people the medications Just Work, with no negative side
       | effects. If they do that for you it could be a big win, but one
       | you can't safely or lawfully test without getting a diagnosis.
       | 
       | It also gives you a well-defined problem statement for tackling
       | the "lingering family issue" and for communicating with your
       | family about differences between your neurological wiring and
       | theirs that all of you need to cope with, if you do come up with
       | a diagnosis.
        
       | nimish wrote:
       | A diagnosis makes sense if you believe it will improve things. A
       | key criteria is that the issue is negatively affecting your life.
       | This can be in subtle, non-obvious ways.
       | 
       | There's no obligation to be on any sort of medication, but having
       | the option never really hurts. Knowing is more than half the
       | battle, if only to make coping skills much more effective (if you
       | have it you are likely coping without realizing it). You are in
       | control here.
       | 
       | Unless you desperately want to be a pilot, in which case getting
       | a medical is now difficult. Though wanting to be a pilot with
       | even a mild executive function impairment is IMO disqualifying
       | for poor judgment anyway.
       | 
       | Personally, the stimulants helped quite a bit along with an
       | improved ability to cope. YMMV.
        
       | macksd wrote:
       | I do not (AFAIK) suffer from ADHD, but having been in therapy for
       | a while for other issues I had a similar concern at one point: I
       | had a bunch of problems I wanted to talk about, I thought my
       | therapist was missing the obvious and following a red herring
       | with her questions. But she mentioned a book on a disorder and I
       | read it: it was like reading a book written just about my
       | personality. I had heard of the disorder, kind of a lot,
       | actually, but it was nothing like what I had inferred.
       | Understanding it better helped break a lot of unproductive cycles
       | of thought.
       | 
       | If you're inclined to not treat your ADHD with drugs, I think
       | that's admirable. But IMO it's important to have a period of time
       | in therapy where you don't hold back and really try to understand
       | everything that's going on with you. There's a great answer to
       | your question in one of my favorite podcasts [1]. The wife in
       | that relationship was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult and,
       | similarly: recognized herself in a lot of the symptoms that she
       | didn't actually think were typical of ADHD. She's now on
       | medication (some of the time, I think), but just knowing that was
       | an underlying condition helped her, her husband, and her family
       | manage a lot of relationship problems better.
       | 
       | [1] https://www.nottheworstmarriage.com/episodes/mental-
       | health-a...
        
       | reducesuffering wrote:
       | I've recently considered if I've always had ADHD and have gone
       | back and forth on it in my head. On one hand, symptoms sound
       | common to most people. On the other there's a lot of anecdotes
       | that match my life to a tee.
       | 
       | I was "gifted" in school growing up. I breezed through school
       | ages 5-12 with ease but loathing homework. At 11, a teacher told
       | my parent and I that I'm able to get great grades now by
       | intellect, but when college comes I'll come to a reckoning unless
       | I also learn to study and put in time to do the work.
       | 
       | Ages 13 - 20 were just a continuous slide down in academics. I
       | spent all my time zoned into various MMORPG's, video games, and
       | obsessed about an outdoor sport. Couldn't stay awake in class and
       | never did any homework. But I'd manage to skirt out some A's on
       | math and chemistry tests (learning on the fly), do some crucial
       | projects at the last possible minute, midnight to 5am the night
       | before, and managed to graduate with a 2.5 gpa (C's and B's).
       | 
       | When it came to college, it was the same until I realized I
       | needed to get better grades to transfer to a real University, so
       | I had one amazing year I got A's, got in, and then it was
       | business as usual. Worst person at staying on top of homework in
       | friend groups, constantly more distracted by video games, only
       | completed C's by doing projects at the last absolute moment
       | midnight to 5am.
       | 
       | At work, I'm constantly distracted by HN, and only get through
       | projects by a sudden burst of sheer deadline fear at the end. I
       | was falling behind and finally buckling, until I tried some
       | Adderall secondhand. Suddenly I felt like I had X, Y, Z to do,
       | and I spent my day going from X to Y to Z and couldn't believe
       | how much I was getting done. Eventually I lost this source, used
       | it 1/3 tapered down to little effect, and stopped, conflicted.
       | Due to various reasons, I've burnt out and haven't been able to
       | attempt any real work for 6 months, basically spending half my
       | time on HN.
       | 
       | Guess I'm just hoping someone knowledgeable would be able to
       | confidently tell me what's been going on. I probably need to see
       | a psychologist.
        
       | wwweston wrote:
       | A family member told me it changed his life by enabling a
       | consistent level of productivity that he struggled with before.
       | 
       | I've considered exploring this because my level of productivity
       | varies pretty widely, and I've had experiences that _partly_
       | match other people 's descriptions (broken sense of confidence in
       | prioritization, too many ideas/interests)... but I also wonder:
       | 
       | How do people who diagnose ADHD _reject_ the diagnosis? Or do
       | they? Software professionals tend to see software solutions to
       | domain dynamics whether they 're necessary or most productive; it
       | seems to me it's possible that medical-psych professionals might
       | tend to medicalize personal dynamics... in particular, how does
       | one tell the difference between outlier levels of OCEAN/Big5
       | trait "openness" and ADHD?
       | 
       | Or is it simpler than this, and you find someone who treats ADHD,
       | try the treatment, and if it changes your life, the label is the
       | least important part of that?
        
         | oo0shiny wrote:
         | I will say that I was diagnosed after college with ADHD and was
         | given a prescription for Adderall. I get the feeling it was
         | from a "script farm," so I didn't get anything more than a "yes
         | you have ADHD, here's some drugs."
         | 
         | I tried the Adderall and the focus I always lacked was there;
         | it felt almost like a super power. I explain it like being
         | Cyclops from X-Men. I had this laser beam of focus: whatever I
         | looked at I could focus on for as long as I wanted. But it also
         | felt a bit like a performance enhancing drug, and something
         | that was changing who I was by changing my brain, so I stopped
         | taking it.
         | 
         | Recently I've started seeing a therapist who explained that my
         | ADHD is not a deficit of attention, but a different way of how
         | my brain works. Since I'm always thinking about a ton of things
         | all at once I'm able to tie things together better than a lot
         | of people I've worked with (or been in school with). If there's
         | a crisis situation things slow way down for me and I'm able to
         | think really clearly in the moment, instead of panicking.
         | 
         | The best part was that it was explained to me that if I ever
         | needed to focus the way other people do (on things that I
         | struggle to focus on), I can always temporarily "switch" my
         | thinking by taking an ADHD drug.
         | 
         | TLDR: Initially rejected diagnosis, but have accepted it thanks
         | to a better explanation from a professional.
        
       | dncornholio wrote:
       | About the same here. ADD was being said instead of ADHD.
       | 
       | I learned to recognise the signs. I think just being aware of
       | something going on your mind is enough to cure.
       | 
       | ADD/ADHD, I don't see it as a decease, more as a gift. Take the
       | good things and learn to recognise the bad.
       | 
       | I always worried why I would have amazing productive hours and
       | then sometimes days of inproductivity. Now I now (and everyone
       | around me) that I'm best when in these 2 states. It took a lot of
       | mental stress away by just accepting instead of trying to change.
       | 
       | It was also very important to let my surroundings know how my
       | clock ticks. Really high highs and sometimes pretty long lows. In
       | the end I get the job done and thats what matters.
        
         | codpiece wrote:
         | Thanks! There's a good book that follows your line of thinking:
         | "Refuse to Choose" by Barbara Sher.
        
       | corobo wrote:
       | I've been on medication for about a week now and I've not thought
       | about offing myself once since starting. That seems dramatic but
       | honestly that used to be the default go-to answer for any problem
       | that couldn't be resolved within a day or so. Seems a bit
       | excessive of a response to problems now.. It really looks like my
       | depression might be rooted in undiagnosed ADHD.
       | 
       | I can also if not properly focus on tasks at least _force_ myself
       | to finish whatever I 'm working on before wandering off. I'm
       | going to give it another week then ask for a bump on the dosage
       | to see if that helps that one
       | 
       | Negatives:
       | 
       | Sweating a bunch, especially at night. Then again we are just
       | about cruising into summer and in my old place I had aircon so
       | that might be unrelated, but it is a possible side effect.
       | 
       | Appetite seems to have taken a hit too. While I am fully for that
       | (I could lose a bit of weight no bother) I will keep an eye on it
       | 
       | Due to covid restrictions I've not been seen for talky therapy or
       | anything yet, this is purely medicinal treatment currently but
       | it's been a MASSIVE positive move for me
        
         | mial wrote:
         | Medication helped a lot in the beginning, but what really
         | helped in the long term was talk therapy, and setting up
         | helpful systems and habits such as exercising, diet,
         | journalling. But this would not have been possible without
         | taking Ritalin in the first place. I'm mostly off-meds now.
        
           | WhyNotHugo wrote:
           | I found the medication useful in interesting ways.
           | 
           | While on its effect, I've learn what it feels like to be
           | focused, how ones mind works when in "not easily distracted
           | mode", and I've very slowly learnt to apply some of these
           | things even then not taking the medication.
        
         | subroutine wrote:
         | I'm not sure which med you are on, but I've been on adderall
         | for about 12 years. Started during 1st year of a phd program.
         | 
         | In my experience with adderall... everything initially good
         | about this particular Rx eventually fades away. Amphetamine
         | makes you feel great. At the beginning really, really, great.
         | It certainly helped me focus on whatever was in front of me,
         | whether it was math homework or an iphone game. It became very
         | important to ensure the right thing(s) were in front of me
         | before taking meds (e.g. homework textbook or open IDE; not,
         | for example, wikipedia, or email, or HN). Not getting enough
         | sleep was the most acute negative effect of the meds. The
         | battle for sleep continues to this day. The meds do suppress my
         | appetite - they still do. It didn't help me lose as much weight
         | as I'd hoped; turns out staring at a computer screen doesn't
         | require a ton of calories.
         | 
         | These days I take as little Rx as possible, and I feel a lot
         | better. I attribute a portion of this mood improvement to using
         | a treadmill desk, which I started using ~2 years ago. I walk
         | about 15-20 miles a day, while working (coding/writing/etc). I
         | feel like it helps me focus, because I am "burning off" pent-up
         | ADHD restlessness while working. And probably most helpful of
         | all, I'm tired at the end of the day, so I fall asleep much
         | easier.
        
           | acrobatsunfish wrote:
           | Can you tell me more about your experience with selection,
           | use, and pitfalls of treadmill desks?
        
           | pcthrowaway wrote:
           | I was on Adderall for roughly 10 years, and it really didn't
           | make me feel great. I tried taking larger doses when I was
           | going through my 'experiment with all the new drugs' phase in
           | high school, and didn't really get the euphoria I hear about.
           | In general, Adderall in any dose makes me sweaty, smelly, and
           | antisocial.
           | 
           | I hated taking it. Yet it would in fact improve my
           | performance. For 3 years since my last filled prescription
           | circa 2012 I had enough adderall to just take it whenever I
           | felt like I 'needed it', which was rarely, because I hated
           | taking it so much. Since I've run out, I do have issues with
           | ADD still, but fortunately have been able to cope as an adult
           | in my (now) 30s.
           | 
           | I do think having it on hand is really great for some people,
           | but I don't think 'feeling great' is a unanimous experience.
        
           | OkayPhysicist wrote:
           | With he sleep thing, I experienced the opposite. The ability
           | to just lay down, decide to sleep, and sleep, combined with a
           | bit of a chemical cue from the comedown really helped to
           | regulate the insomnia I had struggled with since adolescence.
        
             | sdbrown wrote:
             | This was the biggest benefit for me.
        
         | richthegeek wrote:
         | Definitely try some of the alternate first-line medicines. For
         | me, methylphenidate (Ritalin/Concerta in US) works wonders.
         | Many people seem very happy with Strattera or Adderall.
         | 
         | My first few weeks were a rollercoaster, but the negative
         | effects reduced significantly over time as I got used to the
         | medicine and stabilised my dosage. And the positive effects are
         | life-changing.
        
         | afarviral wrote:
         | ADHD meds (psychostimulants) are fast-acting anti depressants.
         | I hope the regiment works out regardless of the underlying
         | condition they're helping you manage, but just another
         | perspective.
        
           | PragmaticPulp wrote:
           | ADHD meds are definitely not antidepressants.
           | 
           | A sense of euphoria can be a side effect of early treatment,
           | but that's not to be confused with an actual anti-depressant
           | effect.
           | 
           | Some (unfortunately many) users get stuck chasing that
           | initial sense of euphoria with continued dose escalation
           | requests, or by playing games to only take doses on certain
           | days of the week or even by doubling up doses on some days.
           | This is a road you don't want to go down.
        
             | jnovek wrote:
             | Stimulants do have an anti-depressant quality in a similar
             | sense to SNRIs. They stimulate release of extracellular
             | neural serotonin and norepinephrine (SNRIs block reuptake
             | of serotonin and norepinephrine. Before the accidental
             | discovery of the first front-line antidepressants in the
             | 50s, they were prescribed for depression.
             | 
             | However, for the reasons you mentioned, they aren't very
             | good antidepressants. It's easy to mistake the early
             | euphoria of amphetamine for reduction in depression.
             | Without careful management, it's easier to become tolerant
             | or even addicted to amphetamine.
        
               | PragmaticPulp wrote:
               | Stimulants including Adderall have been formally trialed
               | for depression treatment. They don't work.
               | 
               | Don't confuse the molecular mechanism of a drug for its
               | eventual outcome. There is far more to a medication than
               | binding affinities.
        
               | jnovek wrote:
               | What studies? The information that I've found on PubMed
               | and clinicaltrials.gov indicates that this is a poorly
               | studied question, not a decided one.
               | 
               | A 2015 survey (Raymond Pary, MD, et al) found evidence
               | that many psychostimulants were effective adjuncts for
               | MDD and Bipolar depression. The results weren't
               | extraordinary but they were statistically significant.
               | The authors noted in the results that the topic was
               | generally poorly studied and double-blind clinical trials
               | were limited.
               | 
               | In 2010-2011 Shire ran Phase II FDA trials on Vyvanse as
               | an adjunct to traditional antidepressants for MDD with
               | mediocre but also statistically significant positive
               | results. Considering the age of most psychostimulants in
               | use, that's a fairly recent result from a clinical trial.
               | 
               | I certainly agree that psychostimulants are not a good
               | choice to treat depression but that's a far cry from
               | "formally trialed for depression... don't work".
        
             | Ancapistani wrote:
             | > or by playing games to only take doses on certain days of
             | the week
             | 
             | This is something I've always done, under the close
             | supervision of my doctor. I'm not sure if he initially
             | recommended it or not, but it's been extremely effective
             | for me in terms of keeping my effective dosage low and
             | limiting tolerance.
             | 
             | My prescribed dosage of Vyvanse stayed consistent for about
             | a year after beginning taking it, but began to escalate
             | after that. I didn't like that and was resistant to
             | continuing to increase it. I went from 40mg initially to
             | 70mg at the highest. I'm back down to 50mg today and am
             | able to keep it at that level by limiting taking it less
             | often. I typically end up taking it 4-5 days per week.
             | 
             | There are significant long-term side effects of these
             | medications - limiting tolerance building and keeping the
             | effective dose as low as possible is a viable means of
             | reducing the chance of experiencing them.
             | 
             | Why do you assert that this is a "road you don't want to go
             | down"? Is it merely because my reason for doing so is so
             | different?
        
         | yakattak wrote:
         | Obviously different medications have different side effects,
         | but I started taking fluoxetine (Prozac) over a year ago. The
         | first 6-8 weeks were ROUGH. The mood swings were unbearable. It
         | did even out after that and I'm stable now. The night sweats
         | are real though, it's annoying. My room can be 65deg F and I'll
         | still get them.
        
       | jp57 wrote:
       | I'm fascinated.
       | 
       | > I am in the later half of an adventurous and successful career.
       | I continue to grow, have a long-term stable marriage, good
       | savings, great life.
       | 
       | This passage could describe me as well, but as I look back on
       | high school and college I've become convinced that if I'd been
       | born 10-15 years later I would have been diagnosed with ADD or
       | ADHD (I don't know if the 'hyperactivity' part is a distinction
       | psychologists make anymore.) I struggled in school but in an
       | unusual way: I got As in some classes and Cs (or worse!) in
       | others.
       | 
       | In school balancing my attention between more than three
       | different classes was an impossible and mystifying task, but
       | generating very intent focus on a few very interesting things was
       | easy (e.g. programming, playing guitar). In college, I found
       | myself dropping down to the minimum full-time course load often,
       | and I envied my friends at schools on the quarter system who took
       | only three classes at a time over shorter terms.
       | 
       | When I started working as a programmer, I found things much
       | easier, had fewer things to divide my focus between, and could
       | arrange my work (mostly) as I pleased, and I had a lot of
       | success. I also discovered coffee, and looking at my coffee
       | consumption over the years, one might reasonably conclude I'm
       | self-medicating with stimulants. Even now, this XKCD resonates
       | with me: https://xkcd.com/1106/
       | 
       | I'm moderately curious about whether I would be diagnosed, in the
       | spirit of self-knowledge, but I don't feel the need to engage
       | professional help to figure it out.
        
       | JSeymourATL wrote:
       | Related: FDA Approves Video Game Based on UCSF Brain Research as
       | ADHD Therapy ... > https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2020/06/417841/fda-
       | approves-video-...
        
       | fruityrudy wrote:
       | What are the symptoms of adult ADHD?
        
         | comprev wrote:
         | The same as in a child, except you can identify them yourself
         | because you've gained the experience of life.
        
         | Ensorceled wrote:
         | Mostly the same as childhood ADHD: attention deficit, emotional
         | dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, hyperactivity, etc.
         | 
         | There are many good articles around the symptoms and impacts,
         | such as this one:
         | 
         | https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/10-symptoms-adult-adhd
        
       | captainredbeard wrote:
       | Don't listen to the therapist. Find a new one.
        
       | scyzoryk_xyz wrote:
       | It should be, and probably is 100% clear from your life story and
       | problems that you have it. Regardless of how ,,successful",
       | ,,special" or ,,exceptional" you might feel you are. I have no
       | clue what "neurological tests" mean because you're the only one
       | in your head capable of making this assessment. Also your loved
       | ones, they're the ones who have to put up with your ADHD and
       | probably know it.
       | 
       | Try the meds. For me, it has been a complete life changer. Many
       | many small things that I've always seen as part of me, or
       | symptoms for which I've over-corrected for in my personality are
       | suddenly changeable. I've never been more emotionally stable and
       | effective in everything I do.
       | 
       | At the end of the day you're the one that makes the assessment
       | whether you have it. "Professionals" know only what they see for
       | the 30-45 minutes that you come in.
        
       | hn8788 wrote:
       | I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and unless it's actually
       | having a negative impact on your life, I wouldn't bother trying
       | to get it treated. I saw a therapist because I was really
       | struggling with college, like taking an hour to read a single
       | page in a textbook because I would get distracted and forget what
       | I read.
       | 
       | Personally, my ritalin prescription makes me irritable so I take
       | a reduced dose when I'm not actively working on things. My wife
       | has told me that she prefers my personality when I don't take the
       | medication.
       | 
       | Finally, and take this with a grain of salt because I'm not a
       | doctor of any sort, but I don't think having ADHD is necessarily
       | a problem, and is more a problem with how society expects people
       | to spend their life sitting still and focusing on one thing all
       | day.
        
         | intpx wrote:
         | you may want to talk to your doctor about other options for
         | medications. I'm not going to name names but there are much
         | slower, longer acting meds that are precursor drugs that you
         | metabolize into the drug, for example.
        
       | bluefirebrand wrote:
       | Frankly if you don't have problems in your life that seem to stem
       | from ADHD then I wouldn't bother with it?
       | 
       | I got diagnosed with ADHD as an adult after struggling with my
       | jobs for the first 10 years of my career, and getting fired from
       | my previous one.
       | 
       | It so far feels like being medicated helps me switch contexts
       | easier. It has not helped my focus really. Just that when I get
       | distracted from what I was doing I can get myself back into it
       | again more easily, instead of browsing my phone for 30 minutes
       | before I get back to it.
        
       | brailsafe wrote:
       | Perhaps it would help you put less emphasis on your own goals and
       | help those around you. I don't know how else someone would answer
       | this question, because obviously the problems that a lot of
       | people with ADHD suffer from are not the ones you have. But
       | that's one area where it's helped my partner understand some of
       | my shortcomings. You haven't admitted a single shortcoming, and
       | perhaps that's part of the problem that an ADHD diagnosis would
       | help. Almost like a semi-functional alcoholic not realing that
       | despite a successful career, they always smell like alcohol and
       | do nothing but spend time drinking.
       | 
       | They wouldn't be exploring this unless it was presenting an issue
       | that's reasonably explained by this, so I'd say it's worth doing.
       | It may or may not be helpful, but putting your goals ahead of
       | therapy seems unwise. And actually now that I think about it,
       | this is one of the things an adhd diagnosis did help me with.
       | Perspective. I'm much less self-absorbed and try to be more open
       | and caring where I catch myself being dumb.
        
       | PragmaticPulp wrote:
       | It's important to note that an ADHD diagnosis does not
       | necessarily end with stimulant medication. Stimulant medication
       | can be helpful for some people, but it's not the only way to
       | treat ADHD. Having an ADHD diagnosis could help you choose
       | appropriate therapy methods, self-help practices, and other self-
       | improvement measures. Of course, an ADHD diagnosis isn't
       | necessary to begin implementing better time management practices,
       | so I'd suggest addressing any issues you might have with time
       | management, time boxing, and organization whether or not you have
       | an ADHD diagnosis.
       | 
       | When it comes to stimulant medication anecdotes, it's important
       | to separate them by how long the person has been taking the
       | medication. You'll get very different answers from people who
       | have been taking stimulants for 1 month, 1 year, or 10 years. One
       | of the side effects (key phrase: side effect) of the first few
       | weeks or months of stimulant medication is a sense of euphoria
       | and extra motivation. Be careful, because this effect fades with
       | time.
       | 
       | In general, I'd recommend focusing on anecdotes from people who
       | have been treated for at least 1 year or more, while taking any
       | reports from someone who just started medication with a huge
       | grain of salt. In particular, I'd recommend ignoring any reports
       | from people who are taking excessively high doses of stimulants,
       | dosing stimulants sporadically ("as needed" isn't standard
       | practice), or who just started taking a stimulant medication. The
       | realities of decades of prescription stimulant have pros and
       | cons, which aren't apparent in the first few weeks or months.
       | 
       | Also beware that some psychiatrists greatly overdiagnose certain
       | conditions. Unfortunately, some practitioners are known to
       | overdiagnose their pet condition, from depression to ADHD to
       | anxiety. If a practitioner is pushing you toward a diagnosis or
       | treatment you don't feel comfortable with, don't hesitate to get
       | a second opinion.
        
         | Ensorceled wrote:
         | > It's important to note that an ADHD diagnosis does not
         | necessarily end with stimulant medication. Stimulant medication
         | can be helpful for some people, but it's not the only way to
         | treat ADHD.
         | 
         | One may not need medication, but also don't be TOO reluctant to
         | use medications. After my diagnosis, I fell back into the "Now
         | that I know, I should be able to do this with will power and
         | todo lists" trap and resisted medication for too long. Going on
         | medication was, and is, life changing for me (16 months later).
         | 
         | The rest of your advice is dead on!
        
         | slothtrop wrote:
         | > It's important to note that an ADHD diagnosis does not
         | necessarily end with stimulant medication
         | 
         | I expect this is truer for adults, as they have agency over the
         | matter. Children don't get a choice.
        
         | argc wrote:
         | > dosing stimulants sporadically ("as needed" isn't standard
         | practice),
         | 
         | Interesting, I take adderall "as needed" and my doctor is fine
         | with it. He prescribed it for daily use but said I can take it
         | as needed.
        
       | anonygler wrote:
       | Be aware that ADHD medications can make you hypertensive and even
       | lead to heart arrhythmias.
        
       | JSeymourATL wrote:
       | > how would this help me...
       | 
       | File this under Know Thyself.
       | 
       | You may not actually need the professional diagnosis to confirm
       | this hunch. Moving forward, assume it's likely true.
       | 
       | Incidentally, Peter Shankman has an excellent podcast where he
       | interviews people with ADHD from all walks of life. >
       | https://www.fasterthannormal.com/a-special-love-w-shauna-dan...
        
         | carlmr wrote:
         | You may need the diagnosis if you want to start medication. If
         | you don't care about medication it might be nice to know what
         | you're suffering from (if you're suffering from it), and how
         | this may impact your life and that of the people around you.
        
       | appstorelottery wrote:
       | I was diagnosed last year, the change in my life has been nothing
       | short of profound.
       | 
       | I recall the computer based testing before and after the short-
       | term dose of Ritalin. The graph of my body movement and failure
       | rate - I became normal. I could do the task and it wasn't hell
       | under Methlyphenidate. I was relaxed.
       | 
       | On the downside - the change in my behaviour and my ability to be
       | more independent with administration etc. caused my partner and I
       | to separate. My change was too much for her. It makes me sad,
       | however I was an utter pain-in-the-ass for her the way I was. My
       | invoicing and personal accounts were always such a mess, but now
       | I can do these things myself. I'm next-level organised compared
       | to how I was before.
       | 
       | My core work as a strategist / developer has also improved
       | remarkably. I don't rush in and make stupid moves so much these
       | days - and I find myself taking the time to understand things I
       | never had the patience to understand.
       | 
       | In short, I feel like I've been living my life on hard-level my
       | entire life. At 45 everything changed. It's just a shame I wasn't
       | diagnosed earlier, but I didn't believe ADHD was actually a valid
       | disorder.
        
         | RHSman2 wrote:
         | Do you mind me asking a little about the separation? I'm
         | shocked I am in a solid marriage. I am a nightmare...
        
       | mckeed wrote:
       | My wife and I both started Adderall in adulthood. She has the
       | hyperactive, can't watch a whole movie type ADHD and I have the
       | absent-minded, a couple hours can go by before I realize I'm not
       | working type.
       | 
       | She got her life together after starting treatment and can now
       | handle a lot of responsibilities and a demanding job. It only
       | helps me a little, and I still have trouble with motivation and
       | self-discipline. She divorced me.
        
       | phlipski wrote:
       | My daughter was diagnosed with dyslexia three years ago and then
       | at the onset of at home learning late last spring we realized
       | something else was up. After neuro testing she was diagnosed with
       | ADHD. She's on a daily dose of Focalin and the difference is
       | night and day when she's on/off it.
       | 
       | During this time of getting my daughter tested and researching
       | the subject I realized I have many of the same symptoms she does.
       | My wife for years has thought I have ADD which I would casually
       | brush off since I was (and am) a successful electrical engineer.
       | But the WFH was a real struggle for me and my focus and I think I
       | was able to mask it for years. So I went through a full neuro
       | evaluation and it turns out I don't have ADHD just slow
       | processing. I struggle to really dig in and get started on a task
       | for longer than 10-20 minutes. So after talking with my doctor I
       | started taking Amphetamine Salt (aka Adderall).
       | 
       | I do notice a difference on and off the drug. On it I can sit and
       | focus for long stretches of time. It is not a "miracle drug." I
       | still struggle at times with getting started on a task. It won't
       | help the what do I work on first problem. But once that decision
       | has been made I can sit and flat grind through stuff. I don't
       | normally take it on the weekends.
       | 
       | The neuro eval was good to help me better understand my brain and
       | why I do certain things and so it helps me know what to work on.
       | I recommend getting it. Think of it like any other diagnostic
       | tool that a Dr. has (ekg, colonoscopy, etc..) - it just gives you
       | more information on your body.
        
       | stared wrote:
       | First: less guilt (especially important as I had a Catholic
       | upbringing). Before I believed that I am failing at being an
       | adult, and that my parents were right that I am too messy,
       | chaotic, etc.
       | 
       | Second, getting help. I got the most from HowToADHD YouTube
       | Channel, the "Driven to Distraction" book, and conversations with
       | friends having ADHD and working in tech (some other life
       | situations are no that relevant).
       | 
       | Third, started taking Modafinil. It helps me a lot!
        
         | codpiece wrote:
         | I'll check out the book, thanks!
        
       | 0_____0 wrote:
       | I am medicated for ADHD, and my goal is to one day get off the
       | meds, maybe in 5-10 years. Sounds like you've been functioning
       | pretty well without them, which is a great reason NOT to start.
       | 
       | Have you gotten any encouragement from people in your life to
       | investigate ADHD, or is it just this therapist? I was encouraged
       | by teachers and loved ones to look into it starting in grade 2,
       | finally got a diagnosis about 5 years back.
        
         | codpiece wrote:
         | The therapist, really. Kind of came out of nowhere.
         | 
         | I am terrified of getting on meds, and my wife (a doctor) is
         | also against them.
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | 0_____0 wrote:
           | Sounds like you have an intuitive read on the situation and
           | maybe needed a bit of backup? My ADHD is bad enough that I
           | barely graduated high school, and I'm totally sold on
           | medication as a tool, but in this case it sounds like a
           | hammer looking for nails.
        
       | MotiveMe wrote:
       | Before my diagnosis, ADHD was my kryptonite. I thought I was
       | lazy, I couldn't accomplish the things I needed to. It pushed me
       | into depression and was quite hard.
       | 
       | After my diagnosis, I felt like ADHD became my superpower. I know
       | how to play to my strengths rather than my weaknesses. I know if
       | I have an interest in something, I can dive into it and produce
       | great output, and for tasks that need doing which aren't
       | interesting, I have coping mechanisms and medication if
       | necessary.
        
         | tootie wrote:
         | How did you get your diagnosis? Every time I read the symptoms
         | it sounds like me, but it also kinda sounds like everybody.
         | What's the signal that it's a pathology worthy of treatment?
        
           | stevewodil wrote:
           | Not the person you are replying to, but generally speaking I
           | look at getting a diagnosis (for most mental health problems)
           | like so:
           | 
           | Do these symptoms cause me struggle with my everyday life?
           | Are things that normal people do all the time oddly difficult
           | for me to complete?
           | 
           | If so, go get a diagnosis. Everyone struggles with
           | procrastination to an extent, but if you try to sit down and
           | try to start the work and just CANNOT emotionally bring
           | yourself to do the work or get your brain to engage, then
           | it's probably something more than just normal
           | procrastination. If you are frustrated with your inability to
           | remain focused and complete things on time that are just not
           | inherently interesting to you, recognize that most people
           | don't struggle like that. It's not a discipline problem it's
           | an emotional regulation problem which is common of ADHD.
        
             | LurkersWillLurk wrote:
             | > if you try to sit down and try to start the work and just
             | CANNOT emotionally bring yourself to do the work or get
             | your brain to engage, then it's probably something more
             | than just normal procrastination
             | 
             | I've had so many problems with this in high school and
             | college, it's unreal. I've only started to fully comprehend
             | my problems with anxiety this past semester but reading all
             | of this makes me wonder if there's something more to it
             | than just that.
        
               | stevewodil wrote:
               | If it's really that hard to get engaged into something
               | that you aren't innately interested in but that you know
               | you "should" do, I would seek an ADHD diagnosis. It's a
               | pretty big symptom. Sometimes it really is not possible
               | and even if it is it's extremely difficult and you feel
               | dumb for it (but obviously you shouldn't, it's not your
               | fault). It's like your mind throwing a tantrum and
               | refusing to engage with the work at all.
        
               | tootie wrote:
               | This is my struggle. But also, nobody likes to focus on
               | something uninteresting. What's the difference between
               | ADHD and just not wanting to do it?
        
               | stevewodil wrote:
               | The difference is really not being able to focus if it's
               | not interesting. Your brain will constantly turn to other
               | stimulation if it's not getting it from the current task.
               | Sometimes you might be able to do it, and other times you
               | won't. That's one of the most frustrating parts of ADHD.
               | You feel like you've done it before, so why can't you do
               | it now? "Normal" people can still focus (or get started)
               | even if something is not interesting, they just have to
               | start.
               | 
               | Most people won't like to do uninteresting things, but
               | the threshold for boredom is extremely low in those with
               | ADHD so they will struggle a lot more to stay focused.
               | It's a spectrum unfortunately, so there's no one
               | definitive measure that says "that's definitely ADHD". To
               | be honest, if you find yourself seriously
               | questioning/wondering about whether or not you have ADHD
               | it probably means you're struggling to an extent and
               | aren't 'normal'. Otherwise, it wouldn't be something you
               | are questioning.
        
       | user68858788 wrote:
       | Beyond needing to visit the pharmacy monthly because vyvanse
       | can't be delivered, my life didn't change much. I still have just
       | as much trouble focusing as usual. Maybe I should increase the
       | dosage..
        
       ___________________________________________________________________
       (page generated 2021-06-15 23:02 UTC)