[HN Gopher] The Awful German Language (1880)
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       The Awful German Language (1880)
        
       Author : 1cvmask
       Score  : 67 points
       Date   : 2021-05-16 14:32 UTC (8 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (faculty.georgetown.edu)
 (TXT) w3m dump (faculty.georgetown.edu)
        
       | mplanchard wrote:
       | This has always been a favorite. I also enjoyed this one about
       | Chinese, which my wife sent me recently:
       | http://pinyin.info/readings/texts/moser.html
        
         | dang wrote:
         | Ah yes - also one with some HN history:
         | 
         |  _Why Chinese Is So Damn Hard (1992)_ -
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18670031 - Dec 2018 (49
         | comments)
         | 
         |  _Why Chinese Is So Damn Hard (1992)_ -
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7622432 - April 2014 (294
         | comments)
         | 
         |  _Why Chinese Is So Damn Hard_ -
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1280348 - April 2010 (5
         | comments)
         | 
         |  _Why Chinese is so damn hard_ -
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=176498 - April 2008 (2
         | comments)
        
         | bombcar wrote:
         | It's interesting to compare languages on how much you can
         | simply ignore and still communicate - for example broken
         | English where you don't conjugate anything can usually be
         | deciphered and English spelled phonetically is pretty easy to
         | read (even if all the words are spelled wrong).
        
       | usr1106 wrote:
       | One of the Twain's famous examples that language is full of
       | exceptions and hard to learn is that the word for girl is neuter.
       | 
       | However, that shows that he didn't understand things all that
       | well. Or the message was more important than the facts. While in
       | general gender does indeed not follow much logic and needs to be
       | learned by heart it's not true for this class of words. For
       | derived words the gender is determined by the kind of derivation.
       | E. g. diminutives are always neuter, and so is the word for girl,
       | which technically is a diminutive, even if today's speakers don't
       | see it like that.
        
         | q-big wrote:
         | > One of the Twain's famous examples that language is full of
         | exceptions and hard to learn is that the word for girl is
         | neuter.
         | 
         | This is logical: "Madchen" is a diminutive (as the prefix -chen
         | shows). Diminutives are always neuter.
         | 
         | "Mad[g]dchen" thus simply means "little maid [Magd: maid]".
        
           | q-big wrote:
           | Sorry for the typo: correct is of course "Ma[g]dchen".
        
         | jan_Inkepa wrote:
         | So right, if he knew more he could give better examples ('das
         | Weib', a nowadays pejorative term for woman (related to 'wife'
         | presumably) doesn't have that diminutive structure and is still
         | neutral), but his point still stands? This feels like Gettier
         | problem territory. :P
         | 
         | > diminutives are always neuter
         | 
         | I assume you mean to only talk about "-chen"-suffixed
         | diminutives right? [ there are other kinds of diminutive
         | construction in German that aren't neutral - e.g. -ling ,
         | Zogling, takes masculine ]
        
           | xg15 wrote:
           | > _I assume you mean to only talk about "-chen"-suffixed
           | diminutives right? [ there are other kinds of diminutive
           | construction in German that aren't neutral - e.g. -ling ,
           | Zogling, takes masculine ]_
           | 
           | Which is even more fun as -ling is generally seen as _more_
           | objectifying than -chen, even though -chen is neutral and
           | -ling is male.
        
             | wirrbel wrote:
             | Also -ling is not so much a diminutive but more of a suffix
             | for Nominalisation (Zogling stems from 'ziehen' [to
             | raise],and refers to someone who was raised, Widerling from
             | 'widerlich' [despicable], thus a despicable person,
             | Schreiberling from 'schreiben' [to write], a Writer],
             | Fruhling from 'fruh' early [spring]). Gives a somewhat
             | pejorative connotation at times.
             | 
             | The key misunderstanding here is of course that 'Genus' is
             | not necessarily 'Sexus'.
        
           | usr1106 wrote:
           | -ling is always masculine (I would not call them diminutives,
           | you cannot form them from many words)
           | 
           | -chen and -lein (diminutives) are always neuter, they can be
           | formed from many nouns
           | 
           | -heit and -keit, and -ung are always feminine
           | 
           | I don't claim that the gender has logical meaning. But for
           | derived words the rules typically hold (I would not be
           | suprised if a few exceptions could be found)
        
         | riffraff wrote:
         | I think your argument is somewhat invalidated by your last
         | sentence: the world for girl is generally seen as a standalone
         | word, and so it seems odd.
         | 
         | Of course there is reason why is it so, but that is true for
         | all oddities in every language: they made sense originally but
         | as the new thing became the norm the origin of it is lost.
        
           | wirrbel wrote:
           | I am not sure that it is seen as standalone. Surely, one
           | doesn't use "Maid" or other archaic terms from which
           | "Madchen" is the derived word. But to me I am aware that its
           | a diminutive. If I speak dialect I also use the dialectal
           | diminutive (Madle). Of course to someone learning the
           | language that level of understanding is hard to reach without
           | immersion for years.
        
           | kergonath wrote:
           | > the world for girl is generally seen as a standalone word,
           | and so it seems odd.
           | 
           | That's the thing: language also change the way you see
           | things. Native English people might find it strange for the
           | reason you mention, but German people can find it normal,
           | because it is a diminutive following the usual rules. It is
           | not a "standalone word": it is a root and a suffix.
           | 
           | It is not an oddity at all within the framework of the
           | language (which has its share of irregularities already).
        
       | Havoc wrote:
       | Very glad I learned it as a kid...
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | locallost wrote:
       | As someone who's had to (or maybe wanted to) learn both english
       | and german, I'd say german has a steeper initial learning curve,
       | but it becomes easier later, whereas english can be easy to get
       | going, but it's difficult to master (obviously the spelling, but
       | also the more advanced use of tenses etc).
       | 
       | Regarding Twain's complaints, the biggest lesson I learned from
       | learning german at an older age was: languages are nonsensical,
       | illogical, and the sooner you stop trying to make sense of it
       | all, the faster you will advance. Children do not learn languages
       | by being analytical and by comparing to what they already know,
       | they learn by just accepting it as it is. This leads to a funny
       | phenomenon that foreign speakers know the actual rules of a
       | language better than most native speakers, simply because native
       | speakers know things are as they are, but not why. Whether adults
       | are capable of this is a different question, but trying to find
       | logic in a language will only lead to frustration.
        
       | dang wrote:
       | We changed the URL from
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Awful_German_Language. Please
       | don't post Wikipedia links when the original source is easily
       | available!
        
       | dang wrote:
       | One past discussion:
       | 
       |  _The Awful German Language (1880)_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18147467 - Oct 2018 (311
       | comments)
       | 
       | But there are plenty of other threads where commenters have
       | referenced it. For fun here are some:
       | 
       |  _Ghoti_ - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=23581841 - June
       | 2020 (239 comments)
       | 
       |  _On Truth and Lying in the Extra German Sense_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20232136 - June 2019 (52
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _German for Programmers_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=19109371 - Feb 2019 (253
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _Shavian alphabet_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=17844526 - Aug 2018 (113
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _English is weirdly different from other languages_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=14450379 - May 2017 (115
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _Why the German language has so many great words_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11266465 - March 2016 (158
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _How language gives your brain a break_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10002595 - Aug 2015 (40
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _Why God Hates German Words_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=2826507 - July 2011 (66
       | comments)
       | 
       |  _Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo
       | buffalo_ - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1097258 - Feb
       | 2010 (69 comments)
       | 
       |  _Writing English as a Second Language_ -
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1055465 - Jan 2010 (26
       | comments)
        
       | xg15 wrote:
       | > _It is a bleak Day. Hear the Rain, how he pours, and the Hail,
       | how he rattles; and see the Snow, how he drifts along, and oh the
       | Mud, how deep he is! Ah the poor Fishwife, it is stuck fast in
       | the Mire; it has dropped its Basket of Fishes; and its Hands have
       | been cut by the Scales as it seized some of the falling
       | Creatures; and one Scale has even got into its Eye. And it cannot
       | get her out. It opens its Mouth to cry for Help; but if any Sound
       | comes out of him, alas he is drowned by the raging of the Storm._
       | 
       | As a german, accept my apologies.
       | 
       | Though I don't get which word for "fishwife" exactly he was
       | referring to that has a neutral gender.
       | 
       | Closest translations that come to mind are "Fischersfrau",
       | "Fischerin" - or even "Fischverkauferin" if you want to be
       | bureaucratic. But all of these are grammatically female.
       | 
       |  _edit_ : TIL "Fischweib" is a well-established word (and indeed
       | neutral). Wikipedia translates it to "mermaid" though, which
       | doesn't really seem to fit the story.
        
         | cies wrote:
         | Das Fischweib
         | 
         | Quite literally translated. "Weib" in German is more close to
         | "broad" in English, it's often but not necessarily derogatory.
        
         | amagasaki wrote:
         | Perhaps "Weib" An outdated,today slightly pejorative, word for
         | "Frau" But to me the term "das Fischerweib" doesn't sound
         | familiar either, so I am not sure
        
           | xg15 wrote:
           | "Fischerweib" could work. Doesn't sound familiar to me
           | either, but it's a valid compound word at least...
        
             | tweitzel wrote:
             | Das Fischweib auf dem Markte, welch' Ware bietet es wohl
             | feil?
        
       | holyknight wrote:
       | i can relate
        
       | sva_ wrote:
       | See also https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=18147467 (2018)
        
       | gweinberg wrote:
       | The article seems to miss the point that Twain was a humorist
       | trying to be funny, not a linguist trying to write a serious
       | criticism of a language's defects.
        
         | dang wrote:
         | We've since changed the URL. A Wikipedia article about another
         | article that's easily available is not a good HN submission.
         | 
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27177026
         | 
         | Side note - in all the many times Twain's essay has come up on
         | HN (partial list at
         | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27177031), I don't think
         | I've ever seen a case of a German speaker taking offence at it
         | or even reacting defensively. That's impressive! That is not
         | how flamebait usually progresses. In most cases, the title
         | would be enough to get hostile reactions, and the text too,
         | despite that it's obviously in good fun and that only a serious
         | student of German (and master humorist) could have written it.
        
       | henrikschroder wrote:
       | > Every noun has a gender, and there is no sense or system in
       | distribution; so the gender of each must be learned separately
       | and by heart. There is no other way. To do this one has to have a
       | memory like a memorandum-book.
       | 
       | And yet, every German speaker seems to be able to remember this,
       | without evidence of them being better at memorization than
       | others?
       | 
       | As usual, it's easy to forget how hard things are for others when
       | you're the expert. I'm sure Twain never thought about how
       | ridiculously hard many English words are to spell, and how people
       | learning English as a second language struggle quite a lot with
       | it.
       | 
       | But the thing is, with practice, we do learn these things. With
       | practice speaking German, you'll learn and remember the gender of
       | each noun, it simply becomes part of the noun itself. And with
       | practice writing English, you'll learn the spelling - illogical
       | as it is, it simply becomes part of the word itself.
       | 
       | But looking at my language, I'm not so sure how much of this is
       | pure memory. Swedish, like all Scandinavian languages, has four
       | genders for nouns, but only one of them stick out and modify
       | words and sentences. Being a native speaker, I of course _know_
       | the gender for each noun, and you could argue that I have
       | memorized this. But I can also properly gender new words. I can
       | gender words I 've never heard before. I can construct new words,
       | and gender them correctly as well, and have other Swedish
       | speakers independently agree with me on what the gender of this
       | new word is. So clearly there are rules, it's not the case that
       | someone else decided the genders, and then everyone else had to
       | memorize what this person arbitrarily chose.
       | 
       | And I'm pretty sure German actually works the same way.
        
         | FabHK wrote:
         | > I'm sure Twain never thought about how ridiculously hard many
         | English words are to spell
         | 
         | I'm sure Twain was well aware of it, and wrote the article on
         | the awful German language tongue in cheek for amusement, rather
         | than as an actual complaint.
        
         | yongjik wrote:
         | In fact, English does something very similar. There's _a_
         | bookshelf, but never _a_ furniture - you can say _a piece of_
         | furniture if you want to be fancy. There 's _a_ cow, and cows,
         | but never _a_ cattle, or even _cattles_. (What do you mean they
         | are uncountable. They are freaking cows.) Then there are crazy
         | stuff like _a pair of_ scissors. (I mean, has anyone seen _a
         | scissor_?) Somehow native English speakers memorize all of
         | this.
         | 
         | At least genders are conceptually easy: given a word, you have
         | one gender. (Though I'm sure there are complications.)
        
           | MatmaRex wrote:
           | That's called plurale tantum, and it appears in many European
           | languages, including German.
        
         | kergonath wrote:
         | > As usual, it's easy to forget how hard things are for others
         | when you're the expert. I'm sure Twain never thought about how
         | ridiculously hard many English words are to spell, and how
         | people learning English as a second language struggle quite a
         | lot with it.
         | 
         | Exactly. You most often cannot guess the gender of a noun in
         | quite a lot of languages (German, Spanish, French, etc), but
         | most of the time you also cannot guess how an English word is
         | pronounced without having heard it before (and made the
         | connection with the spelling, which is sometimes very tricky).
        
           | aspaviento wrote:
           | > You most often cannot guess the gender of a noun in quite a
           | lot of languages
           | 
           | That's far from true. In Spanish it's quite easy most of the
           | time:
           | 
           | Female form (-a): casa (House) taza (cup) armadura (armour)
           | luna (moon) leona (lioness) escritora (female writer)
           | 
           | Male form (-o/-or/-on): camion (truck) sillon (sofa) leon
           | (lion) escritor (male writer)
           | 
           | You don't even need the article to guess which one is which
           | one.
        
         | mejutoco wrote:
         | You can very often guess the gender of a word in german using
         | some heuristics. For instance, anything ending in -heit is
         | feminine, and -chen neutral. I wrote an elaborate analysis os
         | these heuristics (if someone is into this kind of thing)
         | https://mejuto.co/statistical-grammar-guessing-a-german-noun...
        
           | zvr wrote:
           | Thanks for this link; it was very interesting!
           | 
           | But you should take into account that some rules are more
           | general expressions of others. For example, in your
           | penultimate "(recommended)" table, there is no point in
           | having both "-hen" and "-chen" for neutral, as the latter is
           | a specialization of the former. Same for "-ung" and
           | "-rung"/"-tung" in feminine.
        
         | misja111 wrote:
         | Could you tell something or give a link about that Swedish
         | fourth gender? You made me interested when you wrote about it
         | but I can't find anything about it on the Internet.
         | 
         | E.g. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_in_Danish_and_Swedish
         | mentions only 3 genders, and says that in modern Swedish two of
         | those have merged so now there are only 2?
        
           | henrikschroder wrote:
           | All four genders are listed on that page: masculine,
           | feminine, common, neuter. The first three are grammatically
           | identical, but the fourth one sticks out.
           | 
           | In English, the indefinite article is either a/an, depending
           | on the vowel sound of the noun. In Swedish it's either
           | en/ett, depending on the gender. Examples:
           | 
           | en mus - a mouse
           | 
           | ett hus - a house
           | 
           | But the grammatical gender carries and modifies more things
           | like the definite article (den/det) and every adjective.
           | 
           | den musen - that mouse
           | 
           | de _t_ huse _t_ - that house
           | 
           | en gra mus - a grey mouse
           | 
           | ett gra _tt_ hus - a grey house
        
           | usr1106 wrote:
           | > so now there are only 2?
           | 
           | Correct, there is only en-ord and ett-ord and it has been so
           | for centuries.
           | 
           | There are 3 personal pronouns (One of them less than 20 years
           | old for politically correct language to describe either woman
           | or man.) But grammatically all 3 cause declensions like en-
           | ord, so they don't form a different grammatical gender.
        
           | henrikschroder wrote:
           | Holy crap what a shit article, btw...
           | 
           | > As a solution some feminists in Sweden have proposed to add
           | a third class of gender-neutral pronouns for people.
           | 
           | Uh, no, we borrowed it straight up from our neighbours in
           | Finland, because Finnish doesn't have gendered third-person
           | pronouns!
           | 
           | As an added bonus, "hen" slots in perfectly among the other
           | two pronouns (han/hon), it follows broad vowel rules for
           | gender, and it's perfectly understandable even if you've
           | never seen the word used before.
        
         | merb wrote:
         | > And yet, every German speaker seems to be able to remember
         | this, without evidence of them being better at memorization
         | than others?
         | 
         | actually we don't the system is so stupid that we try to remove
         | the gender altogether or try to make stupid words like "der
         | Student"/"die Studentin" because Mark Twain tought it is only a
         | linguistic gender, but unfortunatly a lot of people do not
         | think that our gender is only linguistic, that's why we try to
         | re-gender a lot of words. sometimes by splitting it into two,
         | sometimes by using special characters. Our language reforms do
         | not make it easier, they make it worse.
         | 
         | to make it easy, for us we learn "der tisch" and not just
         | "tisch" so the noun is learned aswell.
        
       | turbinerneiter wrote:
       | It's our revenge for the "th", my dear Englishman.
        
         | bryanrasmussen wrote:
         | so, German grammarians, irritated by a defect of English,
         | debated long among themselves as to how they could mess up
         | their own language in revenge?
        
           | turbinerneiter wrote:
           | Yes, sadly we lost our ability to tell jokes in the process.
        
         | forinti wrote:
         | I find it hilarious that my compatriots try so hard to learn to
         | pronounce the th when a good many brits just use an f sound.
        
           | kergonath wrote:
           | What you mean bruv?
        
         | scythe wrote:
         | Historically, this sound was denoted by a letter called _thorn_
         | (Th, th), which you may find poetically appropriate.
        
         | chddzcc wrote:
         | Is "th" the fault of Englishmen or of a German?
         | 
         | Specifically Gutenburg and his hellish press. Before movable
         | type English had the letter "thorn" - perhaps some of the
         | pronunciation problems arose then?
         | 
         | But what do I know? As a nativ spanich spikr, I rimembr bing
         | prplexd
        
           | imtringued wrote:
           | That doesn't make sense. Typesets are just symbols carved
           | into metal. You can just make your own typeset for your own
           | language and in this case all it required was one more letter
           | so the barrier to entry is practically zero.
        
             | wirrbel wrote:
             | IIRC the movable type printing press was imported from the
             | continent when printing in England started, and by
             | importing that includes the typesets and staff to operate
             | the printing presses. French printers typesetting English
             | text were not very motivated to establish extra characters.
             | 
             | Random related anecdote: For years the Mormons would
             | distribute their Book of Mormon in German translations but
             | these were printed overseas and they didn't have the 'ss'
             | character, so they used the greek letter b to substitute
             | 'dab' instead of 'dass', etc. We tend to forget living in
             | the digital publishing age how limiting mechanical
             | workflows can be.
        
         | coinerone wrote:
         | Learning the correct pronunciation of "th" was tough though. :)
        
           | advanced-DnD wrote:
           | 1. Push your tongue against your upper inner-teeth.
           | 
           | 2. Let out all the air out until your tongue separates said
           | teeth
        
           | turbinerneiter wrote:
           | I can do it on individual words, but as soon as I speak in
           | full sentences and with speed, it comes out however it wants.
           | 
           | Though and tough aren't a problem though, "thinking" in the
           | middle of a sentence is real tough though.
        
       | thesuperbigfrog wrote:
       | English pronunciation only vaguely follows word spelling and must
       | be memorized in many cases. The classic phrase:
       | 
       | "A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through
       | the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he
       | coughed and hiccoughed."
       | 
       | shows how the "-ough" has no reasonable rule that can be used to
       | determine word pronunciation, despite similar spelling.
       | 
       | By comparison, spelling and word pronunciation in Spanish and
       | Italian (and probably many others as well) match exactly. You
       | know how to spell a word from the way it sounds. You can easily
       | read aloud written text and have little to no idea what it means.
        
         | hinoki wrote:
         | You should have used Loughborough instead of Scarborough :)
         | 
         | Low-barrow? Luf-baruff? I certainly had to look it up.
        
         | rsj_hn wrote:
         | The thing is, there _are_ rules and explanations for
         | everything, but they are not the kind of rules that would help
         | a foreigner learn the language. They are the rules of languages
         | and orthography being transformed as a result of waves of
         | invasions, with each invader bringing their own language and
         | changing the pronounciation of some of the native words, to be
         | replaced by another invader doing the same.
         | 
         | This is not unique to English, but I do think that English is
         | more eclectic than most other languages.
        
         | Digit-Al wrote:
         | My favourite joke about that sort of thing is how following the
         | exact rules of the English language "ghoti" is a perfectly
         | valid spelling of fish :-)
        
       | snapetom wrote:
       | English is my second language. I took German throughout middle
       | school and high school. I did alright with it. When I went to
       | college, I decided to switch it up and take French.
       | 
       | I could not get it. At all. Part of it was an extremely easy
       | first semester professor followed by an awful, hard second
       | semester professor. However, it just never, ever clicked with me.
       | I went back to German to satisfy my two year college requirement.
       | 
       | Later, upon reflection, I realized that I am heavily reliant on
       | knowing grammar rules, and French was just too much of a change
       | from German/English. Sure, German's verb conjugations and genders
       | were new to an English speaker. However, because of the similar
       | grammar, German was a lot easier for me to pick up than anything
       | I've seen since.
        
         | wirrbel wrote:
         | Its funny how sometimes 'antiquated' English text uses word
         | order that is so similar to German ('When I Was One-and-
         | Twenty'... etc). Sometimes when I read such stuff, I get the
         | feeling that my English teacher might have marked the sentence
         | as incorrect or 'sounding to German'.
        
       | bumbada wrote:
       | For those that learn a new language, it is a good idea to suspend
       | criticism on the language while you learn it.
       | 
       | Every language has its pains. German using Sein and haven for
       | auxiliary verbs in the past makes things way more complicated to
       | learn. Not to talk about the irregularities of the past
       | participle of verbs(that are not used in speech) that makes
       | reading and writing way harder.
       | 
       | But if you focus your mind on that you will for sure stop
       | learning the language because you will have an excuse. The fact
       | is that you could learn it like Germans could too, and in the end
       | English is part germanic.
       | 
       | And you can cheat. I learned Mandarin very fast, simplified and
       | traditional script, which is crazy for most people because I
       | cheated. I created my own software tools of spaced repetition
       | software and because as a foreigner I did not have to follow the
       | rules like Chinese nationals do.
       | 
       | For example, Chinese take the order of writing characters and the
       | process itself as sacred. For Chinese there is only one way of
       | writing a character, but it doesn't need to be that way, you can
       | cheat and learn to identify most important symbols you find on
       | the street fast. The order and calligraphy is secondary.
       | 
       | Ironically, the faster you use a language and can read things,
       | the faster you will be able to write it. Just blocking yourself
       | not being able to read a newspaper or novel because you can not
       | write perfectly a symbol does not make sense.
       | 
       | The phonetics of Mandarin unless you create software to repeat
       | and repeat and repeat every day is simply impossible for any
       | adult foreigner, because we as children have not learned the
       | basic sounds. German phonetics by comparison is trivial in a
       | tenth of the time.
        
         | for1nner wrote:
         | > The phonetics of Mandarin unless you create software to
         | repeat and repeat and repeat every day is simply impossible for
         | any adult foreigner, because we as children have not learned
         | the basic sounds. German phonetics by comparison is trivial in
         | a tenth of the time.
         | 
         | I'm not sure what you mean by this - that is very much person-
         | dependent. As a primary English speaker, I was near-fluent in
         | German before attempting Mandarin, and I found the inflection
         | and tonal side of the language relatively trivial, whereas
         | writing/reading (and generally rote vocabulary) have always
         | been a struggle for me (similar experience across attempts to
         | learn Latin, German, French, and Mandarin).
        
       | j4yav wrote:
       | As a student of Dutch I empathize with some of these. Though it
       | is pretty cool that, if you stick with it, your brain is capable
       | of reshaping itself into these new forms. Even as an adult - I
       | started learning it at around 35.
        
       | greatpatton wrote:
       | German has a difficult grammar (was a real pain when learning
       | German as a kid) but at least when reading German you know how to
       | pronounce it, English pronunciation like German gender must be
       | learn by heart :)
        
         | TomAnthony wrote:
         | Alas, that isn't as true as German's tell me it is, I find.
         | 
         | "Weg" <- how do you pronounce this?
         | 
         | "Geh weg" (go away) "Der Weg ist da druben!" (the path is over
         | there)
        
           | advanced-DnD wrote:
           | Once you learnt the phonetics for the alphabet, you'll find
           | German is pretty consistence.
           | 
           | I don't know what you're trying convey in your examples
           | though, because all the example have consistent
           | pronunciation. Inconsistence pronunciation often because it
           | is borrowed words from French (das Experiment (Ex-pe-ri-
           | mo'n?)) or English (das Schedule, informal vocab.)
        
           | seritools wrote:
           | Weg != weg, so it's pretty clear.
           | 
           | You missed "Gehweg" (sidewalk) though. :^)
        
           | usr1106 wrote:
           | There are some exceptions, sure.
           | 
           | But German pronunciation is 80% simple and regular at least
           | whereas English is more like 80% complicated and irregular.
        
             | pacaro wrote:
             | Compound words do have the potential to throw this for a
             | loop. The pronunciation is regular if you can decompose the
             | word, but if you miss where the word boundaries are all
             | bets are off. For example "linkshandig"
        
         | usr1106 wrote:
         | > German has a difficult grammar
         | 
         | I am not sure whether this can be objectively measured. All
         | kids learn (at least) one language the natural way. I have the
         | strong feeling that related languages will always be easier for
         | them.
         | 
         | I speak English as a foreign language. I don't think articles
         | in English are a challenge. It's the USA, but not the France. I
         | can feel the cold or a cold and know the difference. I don't
         | know many rules, it's mostly like I would use them in my mother
         | tongue.
         | 
         | I have many colleagues, whose mother tongue does not know
         | articles at all. If they write a page of text, there are often
         | a dozen of mistakes related to articles to correct.
         | 
         | But it's not that I would just be smarter. I have spoken
         | another foreign language daily for over 25 years. I speak
         | fluently and can make myself fully understood. Still I make
         | quite some mistakes all the time.
        
       | pmoriarty wrote:
       | Unsurprisingly, there are many articles published about _" The
       | Awful English Language"_, such as: [1], [2], [3]
       | 
       | Some examples from [2]:
       | 
       |  _Let 's face it -- English is a crazy language. Besides the
       | above, there is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither
       | apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in
       | England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while
       | sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat._
       | 
       |  _We tend to take English for granted. But if we explore its
       | paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings
       | are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a
       | pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don 't fing,
       | grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?_
       | 
       |  _If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn 't the plural of booth
       | beeth? One goose, two geese. So one moose, two meese? One index,
       | two indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but
       | not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid
       | of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught,
       | why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
       | what does a humanitarian eat?_
       | 
       | [1] -
       | https://www.angelo.edu/faculty/kboudrea/cheap/cheap3_english...
       | 
       | [2] - https://neth.de/Interact/Sprachspiele/homowords.html
       | 
       | [3] - https://ronaldyatesbooks.com/2017/03/the-awful-english-
       | langu...
        
         | russellbeattie wrote:
         | I have to admit still being confused about sweetmeats. If a
         | Brit uses the word, are they talking about a specific _type_ of
         | candy, made in a specific way, from a specific type of shop?
         | Does it need to be baked? Or have flour? Or does a Snickers bar
         | count as a sweetmeat? Or a gumdrop? Hard candy? Or is it more
         | like something from a bakery? Indian sweetmeats also seems to
         | be a thing (from an image search right now). What 's the
         | difference, if any? Is any of this related to Turkish Delights?
         | 
         | I don't understand the _connotation_ of the word, as much as
         | the meaning of it.
        
           | cameronh90 wrote:
           | As a Brit, I've never heard of sweetmeats. Is it not an
           | American thing?
        
         | yrro wrote:
         | Quicksand is quick in that it seems to be living. See also
         | quicksilver, another name for mercury.
        
           | tralarpa wrote:
           | Fun fact: the words "quick" and "zoo" have the same indo-
           | european root.
        
         | forinti wrote:
         | If you look at an eggplant in its early stages, you will
         | understand the name.
        
           | imtringued wrote:
           | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6v9hvK3rdxA
           | 
           | So nope, not "an" eggplant, some eggplants, and those only
           | may look like eggs in their early stages. They may also look
           | like plums. Do we call the purple eggplants plumplants
           | because they resemble plums at some indeterminate stage in
           | their growth?
        
             | burnished wrote:
             | ..do you not?
        
           | blahedo wrote:
           | More importantly, they were _historically_ egg-shaped and
           | (off-)white; the large and phallic purple variant that now
           | dominates is the result of selective breeding over centuries.
        
         | OJFord wrote:
         | > Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet,
         | are meat.
         | 
         | My favourite one, which I had the er pleasure of trying to
         | explain to a vegetarian unfamiliar with mince pies; which might
         | also be British English-specific is:
         | 
         | - mince is meat                 * but mince *pies* contain no
         | meat
         | 
         | - mincemeat is not meat                 * and is the key
         | ingredient in mince pies
         | 
         | - minced meat is meat                 * and =mince            *
         | and could be used in the making of a pie            * which
         | would be extremely different from a mince pie
        
           | ojosilva wrote:
           | Mincemeat used to contain beef. Now, typically, it doesn't,
           | although I recall having mince pie with beef and brandy in
           | Swindon in another life.
           | 
           | So maybe this is not good example of English being like a
           | Mark Twain's German schizo language. Gastro-culture changed
           | on it and the folks at Merriem-Webster didn't get the email,
           | that's all.
        
             | memsom wrote:
             | Are you sure that is it? Meat[1] used to mean food in
             | general. In Swedish, the cognate would be "mat", and that
             | still means meat, much like hund (hound) means dog, and
             | djyr (deer) means animal. I rather thought that meat in
             | mincemeat was from "minced [sweet]meat". Or, just "minced
             | food".
             | 
             | [1] https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/meat#English
        
         | NaturalPhallacy wrote:
         | >boxing rings are square
         | 
         | They used to be round!
        
           | nine_k wrote:
           | But now they are box-shaped!
        
         | sorokod wrote:
         | and books, e.g. "Our Magnificent Bastard Tongue"
        
           | Causality1 wrote:
           | McWhorter's an amazing author. Highly recommend getting any
           | of his audiobooks.
        
         | LatteLazy wrote:
         | English is this way because it doesn't really exist.
         | 
         | English started as old German. Then vowels shifted. Then the
         | Normans arrived and added a lot of French words on top. When
         | German grammar proved too hard for them that was simplified
         | too.
         | 
         | On top of all that is a bunch of Latin and Greek added when
         | England lead the scientific and industrial revolutions (in part
         | because English couldn't logically supply words for new
         | things). These kept their own rules grammatically. Or they
         | didn't, pretty much randomly.
         | 
         | None of these jobs were ever "finished", so nouns in English
         | don't have genders (like they would in German) but actually
         | some do still (mainly pronouns) and some words right next to
         | each other come from different languages (Cow is German, Beef
         | is French hence they sound nothing alike).
         | 
         | Since England has not been conqoured or undergone unification
         | since before all this started (except for the Norman conquests
         | which were part of this) nothing has every been standardised.
         | This is why spelling English words is all but impossible
         | (German words are spelt almost exactly as they sound, English
         | words almost never as they sound, you just have to memorise
         | them, ALL of them).
         | 
         | Compare this to German or French with logical spelling, strict,
         | consistency in grammar and single root languages.
         | 
         | English really is awful and quite an unusual language.
        
           | cmrdporcupine wrote:
           | English did not start off as "old German", that's factually
           | incorrect. It started off as Old English aka Anglo-Saxon,
           | that is the languages of the Saxons, Angles, and Jutes which
           | emmigrated from the north sea and areas which are now in the
           | Netherlands, Denmark and Schleswig Holstein. Not the same as
           | "old German" which would be Old High Franconian, an entirely
           | different branch of the Germanic family.
           | 
           | German and English have almost 2000 years of separation. More
           | than Italian and French and Spanish.
           | 
           | But yes Old Norman (and Old Norse) modified the language
           | extensively.
        
         | [deleted]
        
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