[HN Gopher] Facebook Should Halt Instagram Kids Plan, Attorneys ...
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       Facebook Should Halt Instagram Kids Plan, Attorneys General Say
        
       Author : jmsflknr
       Score  : 204 points
       Date   : 2021-05-10 14:51 UTC (8 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (www.bloomberg.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (www.bloomberg.com)
        
       | stemlord wrote:
       | McDonald's, McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and a Pizza Hut!
        
         | Marinlemaignan wrote:
         | What ?! Combination Pizza Hut And Taco Bell
        
       | marketingtech wrote:
       | By creating an under-13 product and making active attempts to
       | remove them from the 13+ product, they can push to raise the bar
       | on COPPA and other regulations.
       | 
       | Imagine if governments cracked down on Snapchat and TikTok for
       | not doing enough to keep under-13 users off their apps.
       | 
       | "Instagram and Messenger are setting such great examples for
       | child safety and data protection, while these other apps are
       | endangering our youth and capturing personal data from underage
       | users. Won't somebody think of the children?"
        
       | sjg007 wrote:
       | I actually don't think it's a bad idea as long as parents can be
       | involved and has limited sharing.
        
       | pessimizer wrote:
       | Isn't Instagram that site where people take pictures of
       | themselves, their things, their friends and the places they visit
       | and weave narratives with them in order to make people jealous?
       | Sounds like an awful place for a child.
        
         | lotsofpulp wrote:
         | Sounds like a great opportunity to teach your kids about
         | people's cognitive biases and how they can take advantage of
         | others, and prevent being taken advantage of by others.
         | 
         | Hopefully you can help them model their world such that they
         | don't fall victim to the feelings others might feel from
         | looking at posed pictures. If they inherently don't value
         | vanity, then they will be able to prosper (mentally) even
         | though the world around them might not.
        
       | bigmattystyles wrote:
       | I would not let me kid on there if it ever came to be. But, let's
       | pretend asking FB to not do this works, won't some other entity
       | seize the opportunity. The incentive to pipeline future customers
       | is simply too great? The only effective way is parenting and
       | common sense legislation, just like was done for tobacco and
       | should be done for food and medicine. But I know that when it
       | comes to the internet, legislating is fraught with hazards and
       | unintended consequences.
        
       | electrondood wrote:
       | Ah, the Big Tobacco playbook: hook 'em while they're young.
       | 
       | Facebook can't even effectively police their existing platform,
       | how are they going to keep children safe?
        
       | scottrogowski wrote:
       | Often lost underneath the privacy debates is a problem that is
       | just as pernicious - social media is an addictive and harmful
       | product that is being sold to us for money.
       | 
       | For both factors, addictiveness and harm, there are large piles
       | of scientific studies.
       | 
       | Apart from magnitude of harm, I don't think it's a stretch to
       | think that social media should be grouped together with tobacco
       | as something we want to limit as a society. There might even be
       | an argument on magnitude given that social media causes
       | loneliness and loneliness causes early death
       | https://press.aarp.org/2016-12-07-AARP-Foundation-Draws-Atte....
       | While I'm not saying that using facebook reduces your lifespan by
       | 15 years, I think there is cause to assume a real physiological
       | impact.
       | 
       | Sure, social media has had its positive impact - every new
       | technology is mixed - but certainly, we need to find common-sense
       | ways to regulate social media to reduce addictiveness and harm.
        
       | tryonenow wrote:
       | The part that bothers me about this is starting data harvesting
       | when users are children. This is an authoritarian regime's wet
       | dream, even moreso than the profiles being built on current adult
       | users.
        
       | disabled wrote:
       | I made a post about this about 2 weeks ago on a less popular
       | thread here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26849275
       | 
       | It is way worse than cigarettes, on so many levels. It is much
       | more profound than one would initially assume. Social media and
       | modern micro targeting advertising, which plays strongly into
       | your individual hopes and fears (to maximize the likelihood of
       | getting a response from you--which is abusive), creates a
       | validation feedback loop commonly seen in Cluster B Personality
       | Disorders.
       | 
       | Young people (as in developing minds that have not mentally
       | reached adulthood--occurs around age 25) have been primed and
       | trained to make fake, empty, and unthoughtful posts needlessly
       | (i.e. daily or several times per day) just to gain "likes" (also
       | known as approval) from their peers. They also post to social
       | media so that the algorithm treats them nicer, even if they are
       | unaware of this on an explicit level.
       | 
       | Psychologists have been warning about this: how an entire
       | generation of currently developing minds is going to be a lot
       | more narcissistic and a lot less empathetic than previous
       | generations due to this invasive and traumatic long-term
       | exposure.
       | 
       | I am luckier than most: as an adult (with a print-related
       | disability) I almost never have to go on websites that serve ads,
       | as I have access to special libraries and news repositories (with
       | breaking news sources) that legitimately keep me endlessly
       | entertained (see this post:
       | https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26829865).
       | 
       | I also use the paid audio apps Blinkist, Audm, and Curio to
       | augment those databases. I probably have not used YouTube in 6
       | months, due to the above and I am no Luddite! The only social
       | media account that I have is HN.
        
       | Radle wrote:
       | The lawyers sound as if if kids aren't already using the
       | internet.
       | 
       | It's fairly obvious that giving children a safe zone is still
       | better than throwing them in the 18+ internet right?
       | 
       | Are there any arguments as to why a platform for under 13 y/o
       | would be worse than these demographics using the normal platform?
        
         | toast0 wrote:
         | > Are there any arguments as to why a platform for under 13 y/o
         | would be worse than these demographics using the normal
         | platform?
         | 
         | Without knowing anything about Instagram Kids, more parents
         | might let their children use it if it appears safe for
         | children. If it's not actually safe(r?), then that's more
         | exposure.
         | 
         | For example, YouTube Kids is almost the same garbage as
         | YouTube, but the name implies otherwise. Neither flavor should
         | be left unsupervised with children.
        
           | Syonyk wrote:
           | > For example, YouTube Kids is almost the same garbage as
           | YouTube, but the name implies otherwise.
           | 
           | Except that everything on there is going to keep kids
           | "engaged." Even the weird toxic clickbait sort of stuff. On
           | regular YouTube, they might at least wander off into
           | something less interesting and put it down, but in the "Kids"
           | sphere, you can safely bet they won't put it down of their
           | own "This has gotten boring..." accord.
           | 
           | I entirely agree that unsupervised YouTube of any form for
           | kids is a terrible idea.
           | 
           | Google's general concept that "algorithms and machine
           | learning" can do anything useful against unlimited attacks
           | from motivated adversaries (some of the bizarre Elsegate
           | videos made quite a bit of money) hasn't worked out very well
           | in practice, and that's before you get the 4chan trolling
           | style attacks. And YouTube's volume is far, far too great for
           | humans to actually watch everything coming in. I can't solve
           | that problem, but I sure can solve the problem of not giving
           | my kids an unsupervised pipeline into that world.
        
           | nineplay wrote:
           | Youtube for kids is fine - at least the Apple TV app. it's
           | carefully curated. They show The Wiggles, Yo Gabba Gabba,
           | Kid's Bop, and some Sesame Street. It may make parents want
           | to run and hide but I'll happily leave my 3 year old in front
           | of it.
           | 
           | There are ads, of course, but tolerable ones. Certainly not
           | any worse than what I watched on commercial television back
           | in the day.
        
             | tastyfreeze wrote:
             | Youtube Kids for the 7-13 group is terrible. Interesting
             | harmless videos (mostly science related) are not available
             | on Youtube Kids. The problem seems to be that the creator
             | needs to label their video as kid friendly or it doesn't
             | have a chance of being available on Youtube Kids.
             | 
             | Videos from channels like Cody's Lab, King of Random,
             | Smarter Everyday and similar are not available on Youtube
             | Kids. This wouldn't really be a problem if Youtube allowed
             | parents to mark a channel or videos as OK for their
             | children. But, it is an outright block for children under
             | 13 with no capacity for discretion.
        
               | throwaway3699 wrote:
               | This comes down to COPPA regulations and the fact that
               | child friendly channels are not allowed to use targeted
               | ads, which really slashes revenue on a site like YouTube.
               | Creators actively avoid it.
        
               | nineplay wrote:
               | Totally agree, there's a gap there. I block youtube.com
               | completely, only opening it up briefly when there's a
               | school assignment to watch a video which I think is
               | playing with fire.
               | 
               | I tried to create a youtube account with whatever
               | checkbox they have that is "please only show safe
               | content". I subscribed to kid's science channels. The
               | garbage that came though was astonishing.
        
               | throwaway3699 wrote:
               | Have you found any problems with them being left out of
               | all the in-jokes and culture? I don't think kids culture
               | (esp. for boys) really exists anywhere online outside of
               | YouTube. That's part of why gaming is so popular on that
               | site. I no longer watch TV because YouTube has way better
               | stuff.
        
               | toast0 wrote:
               | You can get in-jokes by second hand exposure. I
               | understand a good amount of Simpsons jokes from tireless
               | repetition by friends, even though I haven't watched the
               | show much at all. (It was forbidden in my childhood home,
               | and passe when I left)
        
         | throwawayay02 wrote:
         | I'd argue advertising this Instagram as a "safe zone" for
         | children while still containing ads and allowing adult
         | predatores to sign in would be much worse.
         | 
         | In the normal platform at least they can be disguised as
         | average users that seldom post anything, and there is less
         | pressure to post anything since it's a hostile place to
         | children in the first place.
        
         | nineplay wrote:
         | The article doesn't go into detail. I've been happy with
         | messenger kids but for me the problem would be any ability to
         | do likes on posted content. I think one of the big self-esteem
         | killers of facebook is posting content with 3 likes while
         | another kid posts the same content with 30 likes.
         | 
         | Also the option of potentially putting up content that mocks
         | other kids. It's somewhat possible with messenger kids but the
         | only information shared is between the few kids on a chat. If 3
         | kids chatting together make fun of a 4th, that sucks but that
         | 4th kid is never going to see it. If kids Instagram mean
         | everyone in a contact list is going to see the same content,
         | that could be really damaging.
         | 
         | I don't know how many people watched "American Vandal", season
         | 2. I don't necessarily recommend it in a vacuum, but it does an
         | amazing job showing how much kids can be devastated by social
         | media. When I was a kid, the popular kids could make fun of me
         | ( and probably did ) but at least it wasn't in my face - or the
         | face of the rest of the school so they could easily join it.
        
         | tjpnz wrote:
         | Given Facebook's appalling track record with moderation I
         | wouldn't want anyone under 13 (in my own care) near it. And
         | that's before we've even gotten to privacy.
        
           | saddlerustle wrote:
           | What large social media sites do you consider better
           | moderated than Facebook?
        
             | [deleted]
        
             | nineplay wrote:
             | I might let my kids on HN - they'd probably learn something
             | useful.
             | 
             | Certainly not reddit which one of the worse places on the
             | internet for developing minds. It doesn't get mentioned
             | much in discussions of "damaging social media" because it's
             | anonymous and can't target people personally, but I'd wager
             | that a lot more people have absorbed a lot more damaging
             | content than just about any site I can think of.
        
         | CountDrewku wrote:
         | Well let's take a look at other media targeted towards younger
         | children/tweens. How about Fortnite? They're training to
         | children to be degenerate gamblers by tapping into base
         | impulses of addiction. Any company that does this only does it
         | for purposes of getting them hooked at a young age and hoping
         | to turn them into future coffers. They're not doing it for
         | altruistic reasons.
         | 
         | >It's fairly obvious that giving children a safe zone is still
         | better than throwing them in the 18+ internet right?
         | 
         | Yes, but this shouldn't be done by a company that's only
         | looking for profit. There's only so much that can be done
         | legally to keep them away from these sorts of things and the
         | rest of it HAS to be done by the parents. Children shouldn't
         | have free reign of the internet and need guidance on what's
         | appropriate and discussion on what they're seeing. I'm probably
         | in the minority but I don't agree with just giving them smart
         | phones/devices that just allow them to be connected to whatever
         | they want 24/7 either.
        
           | fungu wrote:
           | What about fortnite do you believe is "training children to
           | be degenerate gamblers"?
           | 
           | To my knowledge there is no "gambling" aspect of the game.
           | Did you just randomly pick fortnite because other games have
           | loot box mechanics and you assumed fortnite did too?
        
             | kfrzcode wrote:
             | Not just a specific game, but gaming culture in general,
             | especially for the Gen-Z market, is steeped in
             | microtransactions. I don't have specific citations but Adam
             | Alter's book _Irresistible_ dives into this and other
             | topics related:
             | 
             | https://adamalterauthor.com/irresistible
        
             | CountDrewku wrote:
             | Fortnite did have loot boxes until they were sued recently.
             | https://www.theverge.com/2021/2/22/22295676/epic-games-
             | fortn.... The ability to buy skins isn't much different
             | really. Just because you know what you're getting doesn't
             | mean there isn't an addictive aspect to purchasing skins
             | etc. especially when they're advertised in a manner to
             | elicit an aggressive "i need this" response.
             | 
             | Additionally, the actual game-play is made to be addictive
             | and young children don't have the ability to keep this in
             | check.
        
           | ixacto wrote:
           | While it might not make sense to give children smartphones,
           | they will find a way to see what they want.
           | 
           | This is preferable to sheltering them until they go to
           | college where it is all on display for obvious reasons.
           | 
           | One of my fondest childhood memories was figuring out how to
           | get past the high school's filtering software so we could get
           | hotornot/MySpace/deviant art available.
           | 
           | Just remembered hotornot, kinda crowd sourced child/teen
           | body-image shaming but it did help everyone develop a thick
           | skin unlike today when parents try and micromanage their kids
           | lives.
        
         | nicoburns wrote:
         | Not many under 13 years olds I know get unrestricted access to
         | the internet.
        
         | quadrangle wrote:
         | In https://www.humanetech.com/podcast/26-are-the-kids-alright
         | interview, I heard the claim that mental health issues for kids
         | are not correlated with internet use or technology but strictly
         | with _social media_ in particular.
         | 
         | Kids reading stuff or watching videos or playing games, none of
         | that amounts to a constant numerical score of whether or not
         | their peers "like" them.
        
         | spicyramen wrote:
         | Have you used Instagram? I get recommendations for buying
         | weapons, porn, escorts, just by reading Premier League comments
        
           | e-clinton wrote:
           | Yea, that says more about you than it does about Instagram.
        
             | DSingularity wrote:
             | And how do you know that this is not the default bet of
             | their recommendation algorithms?
        
           | DSingularity wrote:
           | Why do you hate progress? Look at how much progress humans
           | have made in socialization all thanks to the great
           | Zuckerberg! Humans are now closer then ever and living
           | meaningful, happy lives!
        
           | throwaway3699 wrote:
           | OPs point is that kids are exposed to that right now, and no
           | turning back the clock will change that. Creating a safe zone
           | away from alcohol, guns, etc... and adding parental controls
           | is a step in the right direction.
           | 
           | I'd prefer kids didn't use Instagram at all though.
        
             | spicyramen wrote:
             | You need to see a new big trend for fake profiles that are
             | using big platforms such as sports and music to advertise
             | their products. Has nothing to do with your search
             | preferences
        
           | ipaddr wrote:
           | If they are making a separate kids platform why would your
           | adult ads show.
           | 
           | You realize that by sharing those ad topics you are probably
           | sharing too much of your interests. I get baby products.. it
           | depends on what you've searched for lately.
        
       | splithalf wrote:
       | I'm reminded of that "bag o glass" SNL routine.
        
       | scrame wrote:
       | good
        
       | dpeck wrote:
       | So many comments here seem to ignore the existence of Apples
       | screentime controls for kids. If you haven't looked recently
       | they're very solid and gives kids a good way to communicate with
       | restricted list of contacts and otherwise safely use their
       | devices.
        
       | jasongill wrote:
       | I dislike Facebook as much as any HN poster, but I can say that
       | the Facebook Messenger for Kids app has been... surprisingly
       | good.
       | 
       | Kids can't talk to anyone who you don't add as a friend, and your
       | child's friends list is managed by you and new friends must be
       | approved by the parents of both kids. You can see at any time who
       | they have been talking to, you can see all the images that have
       | been sent and received, and there's no advertising. It's
       | basically a walled garden just for your kids group of friends
       | who've been approved by parents and nothing more. Kids can't even
       | start a group chat or video chat with friends who aren't all
       | mutual friends, so there's no way for your child to talk to
       | anyone who you haven't approved.
       | 
       | It has stuff that kids like, like little games and filters they
       | can use to play with their friends, which is clearly just to
       | increase engagement (and screen time), but it's actually not
       | nearly as terrible as you'd expect from Facebook (yet).
       | 
       | Messenger for Kids has been a godsend during the quarantine due
       | to the fact that the kids want to do video chat but all have
       | different types of devices, and it's nice because it's locked
       | down to only the people you approve.
       | 
       | Now, is Instagram for Kids a good idea? We shall see, my guess is
       | "probably not" but at least Messenger for Kids isn't exactly the
       | nightmare you'd think it is based on the name.
        
         | wolfretcrap wrote:
         | By doing this we are conditioning kids to not have privacy,
         | later when they grow up - they'll come to accept lack of
         | privacy because it's something they grew up with, first it was
         | their parents spying on them, now it's tech company and
         | government and their advertisers spying on them
        
         | dheera wrote:
         | So all this sounds good at first, but if the walls are too
         | high, wouldn't kids simply end up treating it as a
         | teacher/parent-infested app and start using something else
         | (e.g. IRC) without you knowing?
         | 
         | I mean, when I was a kid I was all over IRC and Usenet instead
         | of my school's censored e-mail/chat system, just saying ...
        
         | gentleman11 wrote:
         | In other words, as long as it's the Facebook AND parents doing
         | the surveillance, it's okay? The concern is over the parents
         | getting a cut of the data? My parents would never have snooped
         | on me the way most parents try to these days, it would have
         | freaked me out any time after turning 11 or so
        
           | faitswulff wrote:
           | I'd love to trust that my kids are safe with technology, but
           | the landscape for parents is way different now than it used
           | to be, too. The grandparents left my then-toddler alone with
           | youtube for an hour or so and I came back to my child
           | watching some truly nightmarish videos. I can't trust the
           | tech, so someone needs to be watching.
        
             | cosmojg wrote:
             | Out of curiosity, was your child enjoying them? What did
             | you find objectionable? How did the subsequent conversation
             | with your child go?
             | 
             | I always wonder how I'll handle these types of situations
             | if and when I myself become a parent. I imagine it's much
             | more difficult in reality than it is in my head.
        
               | afavour wrote:
               | The OP said the child was a toddler. Depending on the
               | exact age I'd suspect there wasn't much of a subsequent
               | conversation given the lack of communication skills.
               | 
               | Aside from that, whether the child is enjoying them or
               | not isn't all that relevant. My kid would enjoy eating
               | ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day but I
               | know what's good for them better than they do.
        
               | faitswulff wrote:
               | My child was pre-verbal. It was a cartoon of a baby with
               | an outlandishly large head with its mouth held open by
               | ravens' claws being force fed various inanimate objects
               | like doll heads and machine engines. I shut it down
               | within seconds of seeing it.
               | 
               | Answering your questions in that context is sort of
               | ridiculous, but I'll give it a shot:
               | 
               | 1. At that age, my kid would watch whatever was on the
               | screen, basically slack jawed. No bandwidth for anything
               | else, really.
               | 
               | 2. See above
               | 
               | 3. There was no conversation.
               | 
               | And to answer your comments accusative sibling comment,
               | my kid found it by tapping "next" repeatedly, or whatever
               | was in the sidebar. Fwiw, _I_ know "the phone isn't the
               | parent," but the grandparents don't have the same
               | sensibilities around tech.
        
               | spoonjim wrote:
               | Holy shit.
        
             | nine_k wrote:
             | YouTube Kids is a thing, BTW.
        
               | watwut wrote:
               | That one misses a lot through. Pretty much none of the
               | things I wanted to show my kids was there.
        
             | hosh wrote:
             | I am a parent. I am also a technologist. I agree with that
             | the landscape of the technology has changed drastically
             | since I grew up in the 80s and 90s.
             | 
             | I don't think I can convey to my kids the wonder of the 80s
             | and 90s, when people were able to get a personal, general
             | purpose computing. It was not just that every month,
             | something new came along. There was a wide diversity of
             | software, even among the same kind of software. People
             | tried to write their own. Although more difficult to use,
             | users also had a lot more power over their computing
             | environment.
             | 
             | The computing landscape we have now:
             | 
             | - we deliberately created computing appliances in which the
             | design of the app are driven by A/B testing, growth hacks,
             | and dark patterns
             | 
             | - being able to talk with your affinity group used to mean
             | not feeling as alone. Now, it means those are the only
             | viewpoints you see, with algorithms feeding your view point
             | back to you. The ancient Greek had a cautionary tale about
             | that, called Narcissus and Echo.
             | 
             | - My wife is a beneficiary of online "mom" groups, and it
             | was through there, we learned about current toys and
             | interactions on developmental psychology. We got a Lovevry
             | subscription, and learned about the "mental leaps". Yet,
             | those very things show how kids learn through interacting
             | with objects, building neural connections in 3-d, learning
             | through touch, smell, taste, kinesthetic and not just
             | through sight and sound. The Montesorri method of education
             | lets the kids choose what they are interested, but the
             | environment is thoughtfully curated and constructed, and
             | there is direct attention from an adult.
             | 
             | Algorithms are no substitute for parenting.
             | 
             | I first heard that from Neal Stephenson's _Diamond Age_,
             | but seeing how the tech landscape is now, and having a kid,
             | that is more incisive than it had been when I first read
             | it.
        
               | lotsofpulp wrote:
               | > We got a Lovevry subscription, and learned about the
               | "mental leaps".
               | 
               | All that mental leap stuff is conjecture. I was unable to
               | find any data to support it, and the person behind it
               | (Frans Plooij) was discredited.
               | 
               | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wonder_Weeks
               | 
               | I assume any claims about mental development and
               | personalities and whatnot is bullshit. We don't have the
               | technology to test it, nor even the ability to properly
               | define things in order to test them.
        
             | fallingknife wrote:
             | Yes now it's totally different than all of the crazy shit
             | we watched on the internet growing up. The world is a
             | dangerous and degenerate place compared to the idyllic
             | utopia of our youth.
        
               | 07121941 wrote:
               | It's not about "sheltering" children from the trials and
               | tribulations of real life, what they have access to is
               | manipulative and unhealthy.
               | 
               | Curious what your opinions are on the epidemic of
               | pornography use in young children.
        
               | fallingknife wrote:
               | Well how young is young? I certainly lied on that "are
               | you 18" question plenty of times.
        
             | techteachtea wrote:
             | Web companies used to forbid accounts belonging to children
             | under the age of 13 until what, 5-10 years ago?
             | 
             | I was under the impression that that was US law, so I was
             | initially surprised at the rapid fluorishing of child
             | accounts on nearly every service. But there seems to be a
             | "...without parental consent" rider in our laws about data
             | collection, and that consent is now assumed to be freely
             | given.
             | 
             | Really though, children should not be using these devices
             | to communicate or access web services unsupervised. You are
             | the parent, not the phone.
        
               | hokumguru wrote:
               | https://www.ftc.gov/enforcement/rules/rulemaking-
               | regulatory-...
               | 
               | Banning children from social media has generally been an
               | easy way to avoid the highly stringent regulations
               | concerning data protection in the USA. The FTC doesn't
               | mess around with COPPA and it's very easy to find
               | yourself in the hole.
        
           | prpl wrote:
           | Do you have kids born after ~2006?
        
         | calmworm wrote:
         | It's not completely off-base to compare these "for kids"
         | branded apps to candy cigarettes and big league chew.
         | 
         | Not to mention the data collection.
        
           | thatguy0900 wrote:
           | I just now connected big league chew to tobacco, I use to buy
           | it all the time from the tee ball concession stands. That's
           | funny.
        
           | throwawayboise wrote:
           | Exactly. It's getting the kids conditioned and addicted to
           | devices just like Pavlov's dogs. Facebook knows exactly what
           | they are doing here.
        
             | lotsofpulp wrote:
             | It is human nature to want to converse with others. The
             | internet itself makes it extremely convenient to be in a
             | 24/7 chat with your crew, so it's addictive with or without
             | Facebook.
        
             | Ekaros wrote:
             | I wonder if that just wouldn't happen latter anyway. As
             | seen from many generations that had the "formative"
             | childhood before smart phones and most social media.
        
             | johannes1234321 wrote:
             | Yes, Facebook doesn't create that out of mercy. But what is
             | the alternative aside from becoming Amish?
             | 
             | You can't take away smartphones completely. And once there
             | is the smartphone a communication app is the most useful
             | thing they can get. Better than any game or whatever. But
             | an open messaging app can quickly lead to issues.
             | 
             | Would be good if there were non-profit vendors of similar
             | things, bit they don't exist, yet.
        
               | anoncake wrote:
               | And Facebook entrenching itself reduces the chance of a
               | non-profit vendor succeeding.
        
               | bun_at_work wrote:
               | The alternative isn't becoming Amish. It's being more
               | mindful about how your children interact with new
               | technologies. Facebook/Instagram/etc aren't required for
               | children, and even if there are good arguments for social
               | media for children (like learning how it works), that
               | doesn't mean letting the children have unfettered access
               | to the tech and letting these companies have unfettered
               | access to the children's attention.
               | 
               | Here's an alternative: restrict usage to a simple time-
               | boxed window each day, contingent on the completion of
               | what the child needs to have done (chores, homework,
               | etc.). Augment that by limiting what apps the child will
               | have access to, based on what is reasonable at the time.
               | It requires effort, but seems totally reasonable. There
               | doesn't seem to be a strong argument for children having
               | continuous access to devices that have empirically been
               | shown to cause serious mental health issues, not even
               | including the crazy dangers of the internet (stalking,
               | child sexualization, etc).
               | 
               | Alternatively, don't control anything the child does and
               | hope it works out.
        
               | johannes1234321 wrote:
               | Well, communication is the primary feature I would allow.
               | 
               | Back in my days it was typical for us to run to the phone
               | booth "mom, I'm still out playing, will be late for
               | dinner" Now there aren't phone booths anymore.
               | 
               | The concept of the kids messenger by Facebook sounds
               | right. Quite risk free communication, which allows giving
               | the kid freedom without having to always look over their
               | shoulder what they are doing.
               | 
               | As said: that being not from Facebook would be great!
        
               | ryandrake wrote:
               | There is probably a middle ground somewhere between being
               | hopelessly addicted to Social Media and going Amish and
               | throwing away all technology.
               | 
               | Someone mentioned the other day on HN that Social Media
               | is the modern-day Smoking, and I agree there are a lot of
               | parallels. Surely we can keep our kids out of S.M.
               | without restricting them from using other, less harmful
               | parts of technology.
        
           | an_opabinia wrote:
           | > It's not completely off-base to compare these "for kids"
           | branded apps to candy cigarettes and big league chew.
           | 
           | In terms of verisimilitude, it is 49.9% off base to compare
           | for kids branded apps to tobacco use. In terms of
           | intellectual honesty, it is 99.9% off base to compare for
           | kids branded apps to tobacco use.
           | 
           | If you want guidance on app use for your kids, ask a
           | pediatrician a specific question. You'll get more knowledge
           | than flaming on this place.
        
           | [deleted]
        
           | bootlooped wrote:
           | There's a harm reduction argument to be made: kids are using
           | digital devices already (probably too much) so one way to
           | improve the whole situation is to make using them safer for
           | kids.
           | 
           | I'm not a parent, but I imagine controlling your kids
           | electronic device use is a difficult task. The jump to them
           | having a smartphone must be like a dam being blown apart with
           | dynamite.
        
             | HenryBemis wrote:
             | So our _dear_ FB is helping us get them depressed faster,
             | 'safer', and with a nice blue icon, and we should let it
             | happen?
             | 
             | Facebook is cancer. Letting this play out will only
             | condition kids be more immersed/addicted to social media.
             | How can that be good for them _now_? How can that be good
             | for them in the _future_? Facebook has proven that they toy
             | with its users, their psyche, their privacy.
             | 
             | This will definitely come to hurt them in the future.
             | Either by FB selling out every 1_and_0 they got on you, or
             | allowing 'by accident' another scammy CambridgeAnalyticaV2
             | to siphon all your data, or by getting hacked and
             | disclosing that 2 years late.
        
               | bootlooped wrote:
               | If you're familiar with any other harm reduction efforts,
               | pretty much the same arguments are made against all of
               | them.
               | 
               | Take for example needle exchanges. People who run needle
               | exchanges are not asserting that people being addicted to
               | heroin is a good outcome, only that people being addicted
               | to heroin and also having to share dirty needles is
               | worse.
               | 
               | Likewise, I'm not asserting that little kids using
               | Facebook products is a good outcome, only that it may be
               | less bad than other outcomes.
        
               | agogdog wrote:
               | Needle exchanges aren't willingly run by heroin
               | manufacturers. It's impossible to believe in harm
               | reduction when it comes from the harm producer.
               | 
               | I'd be much more willing to accept this as harm reduction
               | if Facebook outsourced the task to an independent non-
               | profit... but even that arrangement comes with pro-
               | Facebook biases.
        
               | anoncake wrote:
               | Arguably, not allowing children to use Facebook products
               | is easier than keeping keeping heroin addicts from
               | consuming heroin. Also, I doubt needle exchanges actually
               | motivate anyone to start taking heroin whereas getting
               | children to use Facebook products is obviously Facebook's
               | aim here.
        
         | thesausageking wrote:
         | I loath FB Messenger Kids. Because other kids have it, there's
         | huge peer pressure for my kids to use it. I either have to be
         | the bad parent and isolate my kids from their friends, or give
         | in and start them down the path of getting conditioned to use
         | FB products.
         | 
         | And the games on it use the same engagement tricks all of
         | Facebook does, so the kids end up getting sucked into them at a
         | very young age.
        
           | Spivak wrote:
           | I swear have people forgot what it was like when we were
           | kids. It's not like Facebook is covering new ground here. My
           | parents were pressured into to giving me internet access so I
           | could talk to my friends on AIM, I begged my Dad to buy me a
           | cell phone because all my friends had them. And don't even
           | get me started on Pokemon cards, Game Boy links, slap
           | bracelets, silly bands, a bike so I could reach my friend's
           | houses, and a car when I turned 16.
           | 
           | You're not conditioning your kids to be soulless zombies to
           | lord Zuckerberg any more than I was conditioned to love AOL.
           | Let your kids socialize in whatever way their friends are,
           | the actual socializing and shared experience is what will
           | matter years down the line.
        
             | Proziam wrote:
             | I understand where you're coming from but I hold the
             | extreme opposite view.
             | 
             | I believe it should be illegal for a company to
             | intentionally allow children into a system where their
             | psychology is manipulated. Instagram has huge negative
             | psych effects, predominantly on young girls. But the other
             | social dynamics, and the effects of advertising, and the
             | effects of the echo chambers that result from the
             | algorithmic feeds are profound and harmful across all
             | social media platforms.
             | 
             | It isn't socializing when every photo is edited, every post
             | that a kid sees is the most dramatic thing thanks to the
             | algorithm, and moral/political activism is rampant and
             | signal boosted. Kids should learn how to deal with real
             | humans in the real world rather than digital
             | characterizations of humans curated by a machine.
        
           | bko wrote:
           | I think you're overplaying brand loyalty. I didn't have
           | loyalty once everyone switched off AOL instant messenger.
           | They'll just likely see it as a utility and switch to the
           | next best thing when it comes along.
        
         | hosh wrote:
         | Ok. Leaving aside quarantine, do kids really need to talk to
         | other kids through a personal computing device that they carry
         | around as a constant companion? Does that foster something
         | developmentally that could not happen without it? What do kids
         | lose if they use such devices as their primary means of
         | communication?
         | 
         | And let's say, we think the "constant companion" is the
         | problem, and we restrict the kid's interaction through an old
         | school, family computer. Is that necessarily any better?
         | 
         | I have already seen first hand how social media interaction at
         | the middle school (when kids are starting to form social
         | identities independent of their parents) gets toxic.
         | 
         | And looking at the social-media-fueled culture wars since 2014,
         | it does not get any better for adults.
         | (https://www.ribbonfarm.com/2018/03/06/a-quick-battle-
         | field-g...).
        
           | spothedog1 wrote:
           | My personal anecdote. I'm still very good friends with all of
           | my friends from high school and college and it is almost
           | entirely due to the ability to constantly group message. We
           | all talk almost every day and I've since lost contact with
           | most friends not included in the 3 group chats I have. We're
           | all in our mid 20's now so getting together is more difficult
           | but since we talk so often it drives us to hang out in person
           | more. In the absence of constant communication we would
           | probably all drift apart and rarely if ever hang out in
           | person. There's a big difference between generic public
           | social media interaction and smaller more intimate direct
           | messaging and group chats. It's definitely different for kids
           | cause they are forced to spend all day together in school but
           | I think there is immense value for adults.
        
           | notyourwork wrote:
           | I spent a large portion of my teenage years chatting with
           | strangers on IRC. As much as 12 hours at a time, I would stay
           | up through the night talking with groups in channels I
           | frequented.
           | 
           | I'm not sure if this is good or bad for my personal
           | development. Though it did jumpstart my education in computer
           | science and career as a software engineer.
        
           | 2OEH8eoCRo0 wrote:
           | The only thing I can think of that sucks is kids feeling left
           | out when all their friends have iPhones.
        
           | spoonjim wrote:
           | Phones are like drugs and sex... kids are going to use them,
           | and trying to ban them outright will often lead to
           | destructive behaviors. The effective approach is to teach
           | them boundaries, enforce those boundaries, and let them
           | experiment within those boundaries.
        
           | jlos wrote:
           | They also prevent children from deleting messages.
           | 
           | Messenger kids has been great for my family, especially the
           | times when we've had to self isolate and couldn't meet
           | friends outside.
        
           | shoto_io wrote:
           | I played Zak Mackraken on my C64 for 18 hours in a row until
           | it crashed and I could not restore my save... I started over.
           | 
           | I was 10 back then. Both my parents were in academia and
           | wouldn't just let me play all the time, but at some point
           | they gave up.
           | 
           | Later, I played Civilization for so many hours and through
           | the night that once I fell asleep my dreams were filled with
           | hexagons.
           | 
           | Then there was Tetris. Oh, and, Wolfenstein, and the all
           | legendary Age of Empires!
           | 
           | And, here I am, 25 years later, and I am doing just fine. I
           | am healthy, mentally stable and don't care about any computer
           | game no more (ok, I am addicted to HN but that's a different
           | story...).
        
           | TameAntelope wrote:
           | To use a fairly broad brush and a potentially overdramatic
           | example, starving an extrovert of contact with others is
           | tantamount to torture. I know introverts don't understand
           | this on a fundamental level, but the only times I've ever
           | even vaguely considered harming myself are when I was in
           | forced isolation for long periods of time.
           | 
           | To know that there are opportunities to socialize and grow my
           | friendships, and those opportunities are being intentionally
           | and needlessly withheld from me as some kind of "character
           | growth" would evoke a kind of primal rage that would have
           | caused me permanent harm as a child.
           | 
           | I'm _extremely_ grateful my parents saw the value of learning
           | how to build and maintain relationships, and I wouldn 't
           | dream of taking that away from my children, or any other
           | children I somehow had supervision over.
        
             | mixmastamyk wrote:
             | Quarantine aside, online relationships are no substitute
             | for those in-person.
        
           | tjr225 wrote:
           | I don't really know how I'm going to approach this once my
           | child is old enough to use devices but I think one might be
           | able to argue that it makes sense for them to learn how to
           | interact with the world as it exists, rather than a fantasy
           | world where devices and the internet doesn't exist.
        
             | hosh wrote:
             | My wife and I decided on a no-social media policy for our
             | kids. We have a teenager and a 5 month old.
             | 
             | Our teenager has a phone we found that is a locked down
             | Android, and has no internet (no wifi or 4g/5g). It is just
             | a phone, with multimedia text, and non-network enabled
             | calendar, clock. There is no app store.
             | 
             | My daughter is autistic. Our problems with the phone has
             | more to do with her feeling like we are cutting her off of
             | connecting with people she clings to, triggering some
             | childhood history. I have no idea what will happen when our
             | neurotypical son becomes a teenager.
             | 
             | There is much more to life than just what are on devices,
             | and I have a general idea on how to approach this. I have
             | been studying, and to some extent, applying regenerative
             | paradigms. A good deal of that will involve the kids into
             | the natural cycle of life. To viscerally experience where
             | their food comes from, and where it goes. How to connect
             | with another living being as a whole being in an ecosystem
             | and community, whether that being is a human, animal, or
             | plant. I am going to teach them the ethical framework,
             | "care for people", "care for land", "fair share".
             | 
             | Technology, then, is thoughtfully applied within that
             | context.
             | 
             | What that means, I am still discovering for myself. But I
             | have already made some progress on that --- what
             | Christopher Alexander really meant by pattern languages and
             | a timeless way of building; what Smalltalk and Hypercard
             | had in common, why we had turned our back to it, and maybe
             | it is time to use it; the philosophy of Free Software and
             | how it is different than open source, and why it matters
             | more than basic rights and liberty; how sandstorm.io
             | enables community-oriented and local platforms.
             | 
             | It has not all gelled together for me yet, but I know
             | something is there.
        
               | thehappypm wrote:
               | Somewhat ironic that you don't let your children use
               | social media but here you are posting on a social media
               | site.
        
               | enriquec wrote:
               | also remarkably ironic that they seem to want their kids
               | to value life outside of technology but then proceed to
               | say that software project licensing is more important
               | than "basic rights and liberty" - completely out-of-touch
        
               | booleandilemma wrote:
               | Not really. Kids are not adults. They're two separate
               | categories of people.
               | 
               | Maybe OP drinks alcohol but they don't let their kids
               | drink it.
               | 
               | Maybe they own firearms but they don't let their kids
               | wield them.
               | 
               | Maybe they watch movies with violence and gore but they
               | don't want their kids watching them.
               | 
               | etc.
               | 
               | There is a double standard, and there should be, imo.
        
               | numpad0 wrote:
               | Actually from biological standpoint there are no clear
               | lines between kids and adults. That distinction is post-
               | industrial revolution cultural one.
        
               | booleandilemma wrote:
               | I'm not a biologist, but isn't puberty still a thing?
        
               | jkinudsjknds wrote:
               | Two groups can be very different without a clear line
               | delineating them.
        
               | coddle-hark wrote:
               | There are no clear lines between summer and winter but
               | sandals stop being appropriate footwear at some point
               | nevertheless.
        
               | supernovae wrote:
               | Devices aren't life, but they're part of ones life.
               | Computers/tech are books, pen, paper, mail, the
               | telephone, TV, radio, music - it is culture. It's the
               | vehicle to connect people to all of that. Dehumanizing it
               | won't do much to help people stay connected to humanity.
               | 
               | I'm not saying it's easy, i've had some epic battles with
               | my kids in how they handle/navigate the complex social
               | structures around technology in the palms of their hands
               | - but i certainly don't think taking that away does
               | anything and may be detrimental.
               | 
               | Society is all of us... There isn't a single one of us
               | that didn't stay up all night reading a book, watching a
               | movie, talking on the phone, writing a letter, sending
               | "beeper" texts out, texting on smart beepers, getting on
               | BBSs, connecting to internet, having phones, then text
               | messages and so on and so forth. It's all connectedness
               | and culture we've always had, but now more readily
               | available.
               | 
               | Help your children navigate it, grow in it and thrive in
               | it. Be there to keep it safe.
        
               | Barrin92 wrote:
               | There's a big difference between reading at night or
               | engaging with culture and the ephemeral content of social
               | media newsfeeds.
               | 
               | Yes, it's important for children to engage with culture,
               | to read, to explore music but this shouldn't be used as
               | an argument to justify everything that can be grouped in
               | under 'connectedness'. It's interesting you put reading
               | there first because that is actually a solitary activity.
               | Today it's arguably much more important to teach kids how
               | to engage with their own minds and how to spend time
               | alone and build out their own personality and views than
               | hooking them into Instagram feeds. Which is not social in
               | any genuine sense of the word.
        
             | mixmastamyk wrote:
             | The "real" world also consists of filth in all its myriad
             | forms. Will you be exposing your kids to these experiences,
             | so they can learn to interact with them as well?
             | 
             | These platforms have very little to teach, so it's not like
             | there is useful tradeoff being made in any case. It's
             | simply an often toxic form of entertainment, worse than
             | television imho.
        
               | gmadsen wrote:
               | yes? if they don't know that predators exist or what
               | drugs are, that is setting them up for dramatic failure
        
               | mixmastamyk wrote:
               | There's a difference between knowing they exist and
               | hands-on experience at a young age.
               | 
               | Do you think being on Facebook, et al is a proper course
               | in these subjects? How did you learn about them in the
               | days before social media? The idea that corporate
               | surveillance and conditioning is somehow required for
               | growing up is silly and dangerous to the kids themselves.
        
               | gmadsen wrote:
               | besides the surveilence part, yes I do. social acceptance
               | is a huge part of being a teen, no matter the social
               | circle.
               | 
               | I was on irc throughout my early teens.
        
               | mixmastamyk wrote:
               | IRC in the old days is only tangentially analogous to
               | today's sophisticated addiction services.
               | 
               | I suggest watching the Social Dillema on Netflix for an
               | idea. Here's a decent article I recently read on the
               | subject, though there are probably better ones:
               | https://www.wsj.com/articles/the-lonely-burden-of-todays-
               | tee...
               | 
               | Perhaps my argument is not clear enough, but it feels
               | like we are not arguing the same point. I have no problem
               | with technology, simply that kids should not be the
               | product. There are plenty of higher-quality alternatives,
               | just like there are alternatives to broadcast television
               | and McDonalds.
        
             | drewzero1 wrote:
             | This is the conclusion I'm starting to come to as well. On
             | the one hand there are things they shouldn't be exposed to
             | until they can handle it themselves, but on the other hand
             | they're going to learn stuff through friends or alternate
             | routes of access. I'm not sure how I'm going to teach them
             | how to have a healthy relationship with technology, besides
             | trying to model one myself.
        
             | wreath wrote:
             | > rather than a fantasy world where devices and the
             | internet doesn't exist.
             | 
             | The fantasy world is also the one that the likes of
             | Facebook want to lead us to.
        
           | mfer wrote:
           | As a parent, those always present computing devices have been
           | a problem. Instead of doing a variety of different things...
           | many of which build life skills... my kids want to just stare
           | at rectangle screens.
           | 
           | I now wonder what society will look like in 20-30 years.
           | 
           | By life skills I mean things like creativity, being able to
           | work out things on their own, in person interpersonal skills,
           | grit, etc.
        
             | saiya-jin wrote:
             | We used to stare at square radioactive flickering screens
             | all the time, and they were completely passive which can't
             | be good for child development either.
             | 
             | I too share some concerns as a parent of 1 and expecting
             | 2nd soon, but I don't mind accepting that I have no clue
             | what kind of world our kids will live in. I might be out of
             | touch with it in similar way current old generations are
             | from phones and internet. It could also be that shielding
             | kids from it at all costs because we think we know what's
             | best for them might be a significant harm for them later in
             | life.
             | 
             | Some things will disappear, some will get different and/or
             | better, and new ones will come. Fine by me. I just wish it
             | wasn't Facebook, a company with crystal clear amoral values
             | through and through. Anytime Facebook wins, mankind loses
             | in long term. But that might be just me getting already out
             | of touch with current reality out there.
        
               | johncessna wrote:
               | If ever present computing devices were gone, I think we'd
               | be looking at the on-demand content from providers and
               | the streaming services as the great ruiner of children.
               | At least when I was growing up, you could actually run
               | out of content on the idiot box. Your show wasn't on and
               | you didn't have enough channels to find something else.
               | 
               | We'll see how this plays out, though. I think some
               | aspects are constructive. The growing content creation
               | community seems to be a Good Thing. The even faster
               | growing content creation consumption community, doesn't
               | seem to be. Personally speaking, I've found myself at an
               | expert at a ton of things, but haven't actually done any
               | of those things.
        
           | NikolaeVarius wrote:
           | You must have hated when kids got cell phones.
        
             | hosh wrote:
             | My wife and I tried letting our teenager have her own cell
             | phone, and that informed a lot of what I saw. We eventually
             | found a locked down phone purpose-designed for kids, but I
             | have no problem with getting a landline if it continues
             | being an issue. (The issue with my kid and phones is not
             | what we were discussing; she is on the autism spectrum, and
             | so it is not quite the same; I have no idea yet what I will
             | do with my neuraltypical son when he grows into a teenager)
        
               | yeetman21 wrote:
               | Are you guys also on the autistic spectrum too because
               | that is no way to raise kids. When they leave the
               | carefully curated and filtered walled garden that you've
               | created for them and enter the real work at 18 or so,
               | they are going to be hit like a truck. In college its
               | always the kids whose parents were the strictest that act
               | out or become alcoholics when the finally get a taste of
               | freedom. You cannot do everything for them, it is better
               | now for them to experience more of the world/ internet
               | when you still can influence them/ they have a high
               | opinion of you rather than ten years down the line when
               | they feel betrayed or whatnot by you and don't want to
               | speak.
        
               | numpad0 wrote:
               | I was trying to comment on parent comment and some others
               | but it hurts. "Going to be hit like a truck" -- it
               | involves luck for that line to remain figurative.
        
               | throwaway3699 wrote:
               | Yeah, GP is cutting their kids off from society. We
               | aren't living in the 60s anymore, much of the
               | infrastructure for growth and development at that age
               | does not exist outside the internet. Just look at
               | libraries, social clubs, etc... They're all replaced.
        
           | whatshisface wrote:
           | Leaving aside the quarantine means leaving aside the single
           | most important factor in the last two years.
        
             | anoncake wrote:
             | And an entirely irrelevant factor for the future, which
             | therefore should be left aside.
        
               | [deleted]
        
               | yeetman21 wrote:
               | who says its irrelevant for the future? some experts are
               | saying the quarantine is going to be semi permanent in
               | some form or another.
        
               | throwaway3699 wrote:
               | Not a chance. That is fascist and evil to deprive people
               | of social interaction by government decree.
        
               | munk-a wrote:
               | This past year might have felt breezy if you're in your
               | sixties, or bearable if you're in your thirties - but if
               | you're in your teens or younger you've been deprived of a
               | lot of social development time and there will be long
               | term damage from this.
               | 
               | Additionally - I don't know if it really is an irrelevant
               | factor for the future. This is a flu variant that could
               | continue to mutate and cause havoc if governments act
               | irresponsibly or if a particularly large segment of the
               | population continues to resist vaccination and mask
               | wearing while being egged on by idiots on TV. Lastly,
               | global habitat destruction increases the chances we
               | discover fun new world ending diseases, hopefully we
               | won't see another one for decades, but it's unlikely that
               | we'll be spared another global pandemic for the next 100
               | years.
        
               | hosh wrote:
               | It is for this reason I consider "zoomers" as an
               | appropriate label for the Gen Z kids.
               | 
               | But here is something else I also know: the modern way in
               | which kids develop through the teenage years is already
               | screwed up, even without the internet, smart phones, and
               | social media. It seems normal now because it is
               | normative.
        
           | supernovae wrote:
           | I'm 45 years old, my parents asked the same things about me..
           | the screen wasn't necessarily a pocket companion at the time
           | - but it was computers, consoles and hand-held devices and
           | all the stuff around them.
           | 
           | At first, they fought me... and it was a dumb battle for
           | battles sake. My parents never bothered to understand
           | anything I did and generally just gave up and let me do
           | whatever...
           | 
           | Turns out, they were in the midsts of a relationship failure
           | and there was no time for the kids, so they let me have at
           | the computer...
           | 
           | BUT... It worked :) I taught myself programming, operating
           | systems, I ran a BBS that was the first BBS in texas to offer
           | Linux downloads, I got published in books/magazines/journals
           | talking/writing about OS/2, Linux and DESQview.
           | 
           | In the end, I never went to school, my parents relationship
           | was still crap but I made friends, found my wife and still
           | work online to this day..
           | 
           | My kids are 13 and 17 and its new battles... but i just think
           | back and remember where I started - I try and fill in the
           | gaps of just "Caring" in general and just "wanting a
           | relationship" with my kids in general - and i do that in lieu
           | of trying to prohibit something that is already pervasive in
           | their lives.
           | 
           | Yes, I run firewalls, safety, anti-virus, family-safety, yes
           | there are some things blocked - yes their phones have family
           | safety too but mostly to do what I can to protect them from
           | maliciousness.
           | 
           | The last battle any parent can or should fight is the battles
           | of pop culture, society and social interactions... espeially
           | a year+ into a pandemic.
           | 
           | we had to re-think the whole grounding from devices during
           | pandemic because that was suicide to a teen... and in doing
           | so - it sparked conversations we weren't having and made me
           | realize i was just following in the same ignorant foot steps
           | as my parents.
           | 
           | Kids will get burner devices if they're grounded, they will
           | jailbreak/root phones/devices to bypass controls, they will
           | buy sims at 7/11 to get around time/restrictions - they may
           | find a drawer of old devices and keep one alive for tethering
           | and many other things - lock down their PC? they will install
           | bluestacks and have unlimited android environment...
           | 
           | It's crazy
           | 
           | But damn, if they're doing all that effort and
           | learning/collaborating on all that - they're getting skills
           | that i find many adults still lack
        
             | akiselev wrote:
             | _> Kids will get burner devices if they 're grounded, they
             | will jailbreak/root phones/devices to bypass controls, they
             | will buy sims at 7/11 to get around time/restrictions -
             | they may find a drawer of old devices and keep one alive
             | for tethering and many other things - lock down their PC?
             | they will install bluestacks and have unlimited android
             | environment..._
             | 
             | This brought to mind: Years ago when I was a teen, my mom
             | grounded me and took my desktop away for quite a while,
             | which was like a death sentence even back then. Given that
             | it was an oversized cube case and there really wasn't
             | anywhere to lock it away, I would always just grab it after
             | school and keep using it until she got home. Problem is,
             | she put the computer next to the door so I had to resort to
             | locking the second lock to give myself time to put it back
             | when she got home. I didn't think about it at the time but
             | I. was being blatantly obvious and she clued me in years
             | later that she knew what I was doing from the beginning.
             | 
             | Punishments don't have to be all or nothing, they can be
             | like locks: they won't stop the determined, but they will
             | stop the opportunists. The punishment is the inconvenience
             | of the workaround and often has the added benefit that
             | enforcement requires spending more time with them.
             | </parenting "advice" from a coddled nonparent>
        
         | efdee wrote:
         | They'll wait for kids to get hooked and then gradually start
         | injecting all those things you didn't want in the first place
         | once the cat is out of the bag.
        
         | KorematsuFred wrote:
         | I think it is very healthy and good for major companies like
         | Facebook or Youtube to create kids versions of their apps to
         | keep our kids safe, to make sure parents understand what their
         | kids do online and also to have better compliance with law.
         | 
         | The government on other hand is hell bent on destroying some of
         | the most successful american comapnies at the expense of its
         | citizens.
        
         | kerng wrote:
         | I didnt know parents would see the conversations also - seems
         | right down FB line.
         | 
         | So spying is okay when parents do it? It's interesting how we
         | normalize this all.
         | 
         | I'd imagine most kids use their own creative stuff anyway to
         | get around snoopy parents.
        
           | jasongill wrote:
           | Parents can't see the conversations but can see the number of
           | messages and calls per contact, as well as recently
           | shared/received photos. It's a pretty good compromise IMHO.
        
         | tomc1985 wrote:
         | Newsflash from police state parenting
        
         | fallingknife wrote:
         | Yeah just like they told me when I was a kid, "never talk to
         | strangers because there's a predator behind every tree." Of
         | course what they don't tell you is that, overwhelmingly, the
         | most likely person to abuse a child it their parents.
        
           | anoncake wrote:
           | Avoiding your parents as a child because they might abuse you
           | is not a real option though.
        
         | thebackup wrote:
         | I understand that a lot of parents are positive to the parental
         | control and supervision that you describe, I am not that kind
         | of parent. I want the relationship with my kids to be built on
         | trust and honesty. My two boys make mistakes sometimes,
         | probably more than I know of, but that is fine, it's part of
         | growing up. They also don't use social media, instead they text
         | their friends by SMS or simply call them when they want to talk
         | or meet up. So far they have never complained about missing out
         | on anything.
        
           | garmaine wrote:
           | It's not about preventing them from making mistakes. It's
           | about protecting them from predators.
        
             | thebackup wrote:
             | I see your point. I have friends that put GPS trackers on
             | their kids "just in case they get abducted by a sexual
             | predator". It does happen that kids get taken, however it's
             | more likely that they get hit by lightning... and a GPS
             | tracker wont really protect them anyhow. The absolute
             | majority of abuse towards children are also done by people
             | that are close to them (parents, relatives, teachers). I
             | have put a lot of time and effort into building a relation
             | with my kids where it's ok to talk about anything. My
             | oldest have also been practicing self-defense for over 5
             | years now.
        
             | nineplay wrote:
             | Yes yes yes. The most direct discussions I have with my kid
             | about social media is "there are adult male perverts who
             | are going to pretend to be your friend because they want to
             | have sex with you." It's a more explicit discussion than
             | I'd like to have but there's no getting away from it.
             | 
             | It's also why I have the "I will monitor your internet
             | usage at any time that I feel it's necessary" discussion. I
             | don't like invading privacy - I wouldn't want my internet
             | history explored and it's as vanilla as you can imagine but
             | it's also a projection of my inner thoughts.
             | 
             | I knew a young girl who was lured into a sexual encounter
             | with an adult after striking up a friendship on "Words with
             | Friends". I don't trust/allow anything with private
             | communication.
        
               | Clampower wrote:
               | There's perverts of every gender, and not limited to
               | males. Instilling this sort of sexism in children from an
               | early age is not great.
        
               | anoncake wrote:
               | Bonus points for telling a male child that males are
               | inherently untrustworthy.
        
               | ixacto wrote:
               | It's totally possible that pedophiles and abuses are
               | using tiktok and Instagram to groom children, but most of
               | the time it's someone that the child knows that actually
               | does the abuse:
               | 
               | " A common myth is that child sexual abuse is perpetrated
               | by strangers and pedophiles. But most people who sexually
               | abuse children are our friends, partners, family members,
               | and community members. About 93 percent of children who
               | are victims of sexual abuse know their abuseriii. Less
               | than 10 percent of sexually abused children are abused by
               | a stranger." https://www.ywca.org/wp-content/uploads/WWV-
               | CSA-Fact-Sheet-F...
               | 
               | So I'd not freak out too much if your kid searches for
               | something really weird, because we all did that as kids.
        
           | javajosh wrote:
           | Two things: what age, and what's the alternative? Teens are
           | quite a different group, and I agree that they should have
           | greater privacy. But young children have friends too and they
           | want to chat. While I agree it would be best to be screen
           | free and meet IRL, circumstances make this very difficult.
           | 
           | That said, I wish it wasn't Facebook making this tool. I do
           | not trust that company.
        
           | efdee wrote:
           | Out of curiosity: What causes them to currently not use
           | social media? And what if they start doing so?
        
         | unclebucknasty wrote:
         | > _I dislike Facebook as much as any HN poster, but I can say
         | that the Facebook Messenger for Kids app has
         | been...surprisingly good._
         | 
         | That opener and the glowing comment that follows are pretty
         | strange. It's essentially, "I hate Facebook too, but in spite
         | of hating it, I give their product to my kids and (effectively)
         | here are all the reasons you should consider giving it to your
         | kids too."
         | 
         | Maybe we dislike Facebook for different reasons, but I believe
         | most (including myself) would point to something along the
         | lines of their horrible business practices and privacy abuses.
         | This is not a per-app thing. It's their approach to
         | _everything_ and, really, the entire point of their ecosystem
         | (of which your kids are now a part).
         | 
         | So, whether or not they can make an app "safe" from outside
         | predators, I have zero interest in feeding my kids to the
         | Facebook machine. I'm not trying to be on the attack here, but
         | it frustrates me as a parent to see another parent promoting
         | this stuff in the name of convenience (or whatever) when they
         | also know it's awful. Ultimately, when enough parents approve
         | and enough kids are using it, then other parents are left to
         | make the awful choice between also feeding their kids to the
         | machine or allowing them to be socially isolated to some
         | extent.
         | 
         | When do we take a stand? Or, at a minimum, maybe don't help
         | Facebook promote it?
        
         | twobitshifter wrote:
         | I have to ask, what's the benefit of the app to Facebook? Are
         | they serving ads to kids? Or are they hoping to bring them up
         | with Facebook firmly as part of their digital identity?
        
           | derwiki wrote:
           | Collect data now, profit later
        
             | ronsor wrote:
             | That's probably illegal, and as far as I know the big tech
             | companies take children's privacy at least somewhat
             | seriously, as it's one of the few things that can land them
             | in deep trouble if mishandled.
        
               | ixacto wrote:
               | Yes I think this is more a play for Facebook mindshare
               | with parents.
        
               | AndrewUnmuted wrote:
               | Kids generate data in more ways than can be directly
               | siphoned from the web service run by Facebook.
               | 
               | It can be to their benefit simply because it pushes more
               | Facebook traffic through the ISPs and other major
               | infrastructure. A quick win on the business side, and a
               | whole new venture for further tech development on the
               | product side.
        
           | nineplay wrote:
           | No ads, I think there is a bit of "If you like Facebook for
           | kids, you'll _love_ Facebook for adults"
           | 
           | It has been a lifesaver during covid. It is the way kids
           | text/video chat with each other without a cell plan and with
           | only approved contacts. I don't know what my kid would have
           | done without it, it is a 2-3-4 hour virtual playdate when
           | there are no other ways to connect with their friends.
        
             | AndrewUnmuted wrote:
             | Who needs ads when you're giving parents an incentive to
             | continue locking their children indoors?
             | 
             | It seems most of the replies that are positive about this
             | service, focus on the way they've helped rear children
             | during Covid.
             | 
             | That breaks my heart, since kids ought to be able to play
             | with their friends in person anyway. Parents have been
             | incredibly docile about lockdowns and have played along
             | since there's been technology afoot to make it all go
             | smoother.
             | 
             | But this only works for a portion of the population that
             | has the money, time, knowledge, and resources to secure
             | such things for their kid. This is a terrible idea in
             | practice in the way it imposes further hierarchy and
             | inequity among kids. In-person, children are on equitable
             | grounds with one another, but this creates a void of
             | separation where rich kids will be able to dominate over
             | the poorer ones.
        
               | nineplay wrote:
               | > kids ought to be able to play with their friends in
               | person anyway
               | 
               | That is and was debatable during the lockdown. We didn't,
               | and we don't regret our choice. Even if now it is clearer
               | that kids are not as susceptible to Covid, it wasn't
               | clear at the beginning and I don't regret erring on the
               | side of caution.
        
           | agogdog wrote:
           | Brand affinity. Think about how many millennials feel about
           | AOL Instant Messenger.
        
           | israrkhan wrote:
           | The younger generation is mostly using alternate platforms,
           | like snapchat. Facebook can benefit by hooking the kids to
           | its platform at earlier stage and profit from it later.
        
           | johnchristopher wrote:
           | > bring them up with Facebook firmly as part of their digital
           | identity?
           | 
           | This. It's a gateway drug.
        
           | llarsson wrote:
           | Maybe show ads to the parents based on what the kids have
           | been talking about?
           | 
           | Not displaying ads to the kids does not mean the data just
           | gets thrown away, after all.
        
       | blakesterz wrote:
       | It's a really short letter, you can read it here:
       | 
       | https://www.mass.gov/doc/naag-letter-to-facebook/download
       | 
       | Signed by attorneys general of Massachusetts, Nebraska, Vermont,
       | Tennessee, Alaska, California, Connecticut, Delaware, District of
       | Columbia, Guam, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky,
       | Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi,
       | Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico,
       | New York, North Carolina, Northern Mariana Islands, Ohio,
       | Oklahoma, Oregon, Puerto Rico, Rhode Island, South Carolina,
       | South Dakota, Texas, Utah, Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin, and
       | Wyoming
       | 
       | (Also, I was curious and had to look up what the plural is and
       | why for a group like this: It's tricky, because both "attorney"
       | and "general" are nouns, so it seems perfectly legal to just add
       | the "s" to the second word, and that often happens in news
       | reports. "General" here, though, is an adjective, not a noun; you
       | can think of them as "general attorneys." So the plural goes on
       | the noun, and the proper form is "attorneys general.")
        
         | benrbray wrote:
         | For those like wondering, that's 40 states plus DC, PR, Guam,
         | and Northern Mariana. The 10 states that did not sign the
         | letter (either because they declined to sign or weren't asked
         | to) are AL, AZ, AK, CO, FL, GA, IN, ND, PA, WV
        
         | mc32 wrote:
         | The plural in these legal noun phrases is influenced by French
         | grammar convention (unlike English, adjectives take a plural).
        
           | tempodox wrote:
           | Exactly, analogous to "court-martial" (although in that case,
           | "court-martials" is a valid plural form besides "courts-
           | martial").
        
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