[HN Gopher] On Being an Outsider
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       On Being an Outsider
        
       Author : related
       Score  : 58 points
       Date   : 2021-04-22 17:10 UTC (5 hours ago)
        
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 (TXT) w3m dump (lithub.com)
        
       | BugsBunny1991 wrote:
       | My parents were taken in as refugees by the US when they were in
       | their early twenties and now, over forty years later, they still
       | wonder if it was the right decision to stay here. They've made it
       | to the middle-class and that's a pretty amazing thing, but they
       | know this isn't their home. To go back, even for a visit, is too
       | painful. So much time has past that it's hard to say what there
       | is to even return to.
        
         | Diederich wrote:
         | > they still wonder if it was the right decision to stay here
         | 
         | May I ask, what are the main reasons why they wonder that?
         | Thanks.
        
       | logshipper wrote:
       | I moved for university to Toronto, Canada (from India) when I was
       | 18. Despite having lived here for (nearly) 4 years, and loving
       | absolutely every single minute of it, I don't know if and how I
       | will ever be truly claim myself as being "from" Toronto.
       | 
       | Everytime someone here asks me where am I from, I genuinely don't
       | know how to answer them.
       | 
       | Do I say I'm from India? Well, I haven't gone back once in these
       | 5 years, and I do feel more at home here in Toronto than I would
       | in India, so I'm not sure that's fair. So do I then say I'm from
       | Toronto? But that feels almost like cheating - I didn't have a
       | childhood here, I have no stories to recall from school trips, so
       | how can I lay claim to this beautiful city?
       | 
       | I am coming to accept that I truly belong from nowhere. That I
       | have transient experiences that stretch from Delhi to Mumbai to
       | Chandigarh to Toronto to Ottawa (interned there for a year). The
       | inherent complexity of the question "where are you from?" affords
       | it no wrong or right answers, and at least theoretically, I
       | should not be ashamed to claim the place I resonate with the
       | most, or claim no place at all.
       | 
       | PS: Looking at the comments, it does feel nice to know that I am
       | not the only one that somehow continues to seek a sense of
       | belonging.
        
         | joefourier wrote:
         | I think you're overthinking the "where are you from" question.
         | While I do agree that moving at 18 isn't as clear-cut as say,
         | 30+, in your case most people would safely say you're from
         | India, having been born there and lived the majority of your
         | years there. However, your home would now be Toronto, and you
         | if you have Canadian citizenship no-one should bat any eyebrows
         | at you calling yourself Canadian.
        
           | haecceity wrote:
           | I don't think OP is overthinking it at all. Home is not just
           | a question of place of living but a question of identity and
           | belonging. I'm guessing integrating into society in Toronto
           | is difficult for OP so there's weak feeling of belonging in
           | Toronto.
        
             | logshipper wrote:
             | You're right in that home is also a question of identity
             | and belonging. It's just that while I would say that I am
             | fairly well adjusted to Toronto (heck I started playing
             | hockey on a frozen pond this past winter), there's always
             | going to be this "vacuum" of sorts (just from the virtue of
             | not having had any roots here whatsoever) that keeps me
             | from feeling like I can say I am from here. Its a question
             | of making peace with it, is all :)
        
         | ShroudedNight wrote:
         | As someone who grew up in Toronto, moved to Ottawa for
         | University, and returned to the GTA for work, the thing that
         | makes Toronto (especially the neighbourhood where I grew up)
         | feel like home is a combination of deep familiarity with the
         | city, a diverse set of memories of happy times untainted by
         | adversary danger that are geographically rooted here, a strong
         | sense of familiarity with assistive services, and (at least
         | memories of) a strong social network.
         | 
         | In my case, being engaged with church was probably the most
         | successful driver of these things. I'm in a very different
         | place in terms of metaphysical beliefs now than I was growing
         | up, but I can't deny the strong network effects of regularly
         | meeting with a group of people that seek ostensibly compatible
         | goals of self-improvement through empathy, service, and self-
         | congratulation.
        
       | k__ wrote:
       | I never felt at home anywhere and I never felt to be part of a
       | group.
       | 
       | Somehow people around me always think the opposite. They're
       | telling me I'm their best friend or at least that they value my
       | attendance.
       | 
       | Overall, I'm okay with this. When I have to move or leave a
       | group, I usually don't miss what I've left. I have the impression
       | my life gets better when it changes.
       | 
       | But sometimes I think if my life would be better if I was more
       | invested in belonging.
        
         | grugagag wrote:
         | I've got a similar feeling. I've been friends with many people
         | from different from different social categories but I've never
         | felt I belonged to any particular group or place. At the time,
         | somehow, I feel like a citizen belinging everywhere as I find
         | joy in authenticity and have no trouble finding it in the most
         | deserted or dilapidated places. Did you also feel like a
         | wanderer? I think this is directly related to our personalities
         | and no matter what you run into you'll never get the feeling
         | you you belong.
        
           | k__ wrote:
           | I think, the authenticity thing is true for me.
           | 
           | I rarely do smalltalk, I talk about what interests me,
           | usually the people I'm currently talking with.
        
       | f6v wrote:
       | I see people get integrated into society through children. You
       | live in Berlin, you need to send your children to school, talk to
       | the teachers, other parents. You drop your children off to the
       | house parties, you talk about your profession in front of your
       | child's class. German language becomes a clear necessity.
       | 
       | People also say joining some club helps. I did kickboxing for
       | year, there isn't much talking as it turns out... Anyway, I was
       | really homesick the whole time, I still am. In Russia, we don't
       | celebrate Christmas that much, the New Year is a major holiday.
       | That time of the year is the hardest: no familiar festive music,
       | the street decorations are off.
       | 
       | I kind of accepted all that, since I decided to pursue
       | professional and scientific opportunity instead of comfort. I
       | still wonder if I make the right choices from time to time. I
       | think it's natural to do that though.
        
         | wassenaar10 wrote:
         | Is there no Russian/ex-USSR expat community where you live?
        
       | pelagic_sky wrote:
       | I have always loved Japan. I visited once, and made plans to move
       | there. I lived in the heart of Tokyo for three years. I made a
       | lot of friends, but being a white American, I came to grasps that
       | I would always be a Gaijin, and that I would never fit in, no
       | mater how well I spoke Japanese or adopted to their customs. I
       | left Japan to focus on my future somewhere back in America. 10
       | years later I booked a three week trip in Japan. Upon returning,
       | it was bitter sweet. Most of the friends I had, had moved on. The
       | city was now very touristy. And while I loved the food and
       | culture, I knew that I would never live in Japan again. But I
       | still love it more than anything.
        
         | cl0ne wrote:
         | I have a friend from Japan who has lived in the US for over 25
         | years or so. A couple years ago he went back to visit family
         | and said that people were treating him very strangely because
         | he is Japanese and speaks the language, but he was having to
         | ask people how to do everyday things like buy train tickets
         | because everything is so different from when he grew up there.
        
         | daenz wrote:
         | Do you feel like being considered a gaijin was a form of racism
         | towards you?
        
           | emteycz wrote:
           | Why do you think skin color is the driving factor? People
           | normally consider each other aliens even if they have the
           | same skin color.
        
             | daenz wrote:
             | I'm asking OP if _they_ do because of this line:
             | 
             | >being a white American, I came to grasps that I would
             | always be a Gaijin,
        
         | bluedino wrote:
         | Similar story, I had a friend who was born in Korea, came to
         | the USA as a child, and was deported back to Korea at age
         | forty. He felt like an outsider there, and four years later,
         | committed suicide after a bout with depression.
        
           | lambdatemp3 wrote:
           | That sounds horrible, normally the courts show leniency in
           | these cases as deporting someone that old is basically a
           | death sentence.
           | 
           | Was he not able to hire a lawyer?
        
             | bluedino wrote:
             | Multiple felonies. His family here hired an immigration
             | lawyer to get him back but they couldn't make it happen.
        
         | mayormcmatt wrote:
         | This is a virtual mirror of my history with Japan: three years
         | (except I was in the rural 'burbs for 2/3 of it), have returned
         | to visit friends a couple times, but it's always bittersweet.
         | In fact, almost everyone I know who was there for two-plus
         | years have told me they experience this.
         | 
         | The one good thing about being an outsider there is people who
         | would be guarded towards other Japanese really seem to open up
         | if one is warm and receptive. I've had friends confide things
         | in my they wouldn't tell their families, and I've had more than
         | one sit-down drink with gangsters that saw me, presumably, as a
         | novelty. It's like, "he's an outsider who's leaving soon, so
         | why not?"
        
         | spaetzleesser wrote:
         | I kind of have always felt like an outsider in the culture I
         | grew up in. So I actually prefer to be in a country where I am
         | visibly an outsider because it feels more congruent and weird
         | behavior from me is also easier to excuse or accept.
        
           | Baeocystin wrote:
           | I feel the same as you. I grew up as a kid with parents in
           | the Foreign Service, so we country-hopped every year or so
           | until I was a teen, when we moved back to the US.
           | 
           | That was (by far) the most difficult move, because there was
           | no longer an obvious indicator that I wasn't from wherever
           | there was. Acculturation was difficult.
           | 
           | Honestly, I never felt bad about being a foreigner anywhere
           | else. Most people didn't care, and of those who did, most
           | were honestly curious, and it was a fun way to start a
           | conversation and potentially make a new friend. Negative
           | attention was present, too, but the friendly outweighed the
           | suspicious by a large margin.
        
       | bobthechef wrote:
       | Live in this world, but be not of this world.
       | 
       | If you feel like a foreigner in this world, then that is a _good_
       | sign. This is not ultimately your true home.
        
         | FredPret wrote:
         | You mean it was a mistake for our distant ancestors to grow
         | feet and walk the earth and that we should return to the deep
         | from whence we came?
        
           | User23 wrote:
           | No, parent poster is evidently a dualist and believes our
           | true home is spiritual and not material.
        
             | FredPret wrote:
             | Yes well I was evidently taking the piss out of him
        
               | dang wrote:
               | Please don't take HN threads further into flamewar. It
               | makes discussion considerably less interesting and
               | usually nastier as well.
               | 
               | https://news.ycombinator.com/newsguidelines.html
        
               | 1996 wrote:
               | Hey dang can I please ask you something? I tried to leave
               | a message on another thread but you did not reply.
        
               | User23 wrote:
               | Send an email to hn@ycombinator.com.
        
         | collaborative wrote:
         | Nice one. Reminds me of "don't forget you were slaves in
         | Egypt".
        
       | nickthemagicman wrote:
       | I'm glad people are talking about this.
       | 
       | I think capitalism is extremely isolating.
       | 
       | You have to move for your job, so people have to cut all the ties
       | that they've made, leave their communities, friends,
       | families....all for money.
       | 
       | Sure you can make new ones, but after working and commuting for 8
       | to 10 hours a day you get home exhausted and on weekends you have
       | to take care of personal errands.
       | 
       | Now multiply this times millions of people, it makes it very hard
       | for multiple people to have the time and energy to forge a
       | friendship that will take effort and time. Effort and time that
       | people don't really have.
       | 
       | There's tons of studies about how isolated people become after
       | college.
       | 
       | I don't know what the solution is.
       | 
       | Remote work is going to be awesome and huge to help with this.
        
       | Tade0 wrote:
       | I wasn't born in my home country, and hadn't moved there
       | permanently until I started primary school.
       | 
       | It's such a weird feeling to be an outsider among people who
       | speak your language.
       | 
       | But there are upsides to this - not being too attached to a
       | specific place allowed me to take advantage of a few unique
       | opportunities.
        
       | ilaksh wrote:
       | I think your experience as an outsider is really going to depend
       | on how you socialize, how much you do it, with whom, and other
       | specific aspects of your situation. Such as which specific
       | businesses you frequent.
       | 
       | Some specific people will treat you more warmly than others. Some
       | neighborhoods or neighbors will have more culture in common and
       | with yours.
       | 
       | That's the experience that I've had living in a few different
       | parts of the US and Mexico.
       | 
       | One thing that mitigates all of that a bit is the internet.
       | Hacker News, for example, is the same place for everyone, in a
       | way.
       | 
       | For me, I have always had poor social skills and little
       | integration into communities, so it's not a big difference
       | really. Other people who thrive on constant face-to-face social
       | interaction may find things like language or cultural barriers to
       | be more of an issue. But again, really depends who you are
       | talking to. If the locals seem put off by your accent or
       | something, the next bar over may be full of Americans if you are
       | near a tourist area.
       | 
       | But on a deeper level, there certainly are real social
       | consequences of being an outsider, as well as potentially a
       | psychological disconnect if things always feel slightly off from
       | the world that your brain grew up in.
        
         | deepsun wrote:
         | > I think your experience as an outsider is really going to
         | depend on how you socialize ...
         | 
         | I'd disagree. Sometimes it's about who you are, not about what
         | you do. In some societies you can blend in easily (like San
         | Francisco), in some -- there's no chance, no matter what you
         | do.
        
           | ilaksh wrote:
           | True that some societies are much more open or blending in is
           | easier.
           | 
           | Still think most of the other things I said apply if you
           | include all of the context rather than just what you quoted.
        
       | cyberlab wrote:
       | Somewhat related: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome
       | 
       | Although impostor syndrome is usually talked about in the context
       | of the workplace, not being a 'foreigner' in another city.
        
         | BugsBunny1991 wrote:
         | Doesn't seem related at all.
        
       | initramfs wrote:
       | Great article, clarity of writing.
        
       | medicineman wrote:
       | If only I felt that way about one thing. Imagine it being your
       | entire life, and knowing that every time you do fit in it was
       | through conscious effort. Wild.
        
       | drummer wrote:
       | Some really nice photos in the article.
        
         | Magi604 wrote:
         | Indeed!
        
         | robotresearcher wrote:
         | Spectacular use of color, sometimes in bars across the image
         | despite the color sources not being the same. Photographers: do
         | you see a lot of postprocessing here, or is it largely in
         | camera?
        
           | munificent wrote:
           | I think there is a decent amount of postprocessing, but I
           | don't consider that a slight against the photos. Photography
           | is an art that takes place equally behind the camera and in
           | the darkroom (or Lightroom as the case may be).
           | 
           | I see:
           | 
           | * Very likely quite a bit of cropping going on. The framing
           | on the subway fight is _perfect_ , which I imagine would be
           | hard to pull off in the time needed while the fight was
           | occurring.
           | 
           | * Also likely some perspective correction in post. The
           | horizontal and vertical lines of the office building are damn
           | near pixel accurate. Even with a good tilt-shift lens, I'd be
           | surprised if that was accomplished entirely in-camera. Most
           | lenses have some amount of distortion.
           | 
           | * Color correction is common but hard to strictly
           | demonstrate. But, in general, the color in all of these is
           | too beautiful to be real to me.
           | 
           | * Some HDR, but well done (which is rare). Look at the shot
           | of the party. You can see some texture on the dark building
           | facade, even though the illumination of that is likely
           | several orders of magnitude darker than the windows. The
           | texture looks sort of weird and squishy, which likely means
           | that the brightness of the building was raised significantly
           | in post, or possibly even a combination of two shots with
           | different exposures.
           | 
           | Wonderful work.
        
         | rorykoehler wrote:
         | Most of them are in my neighbourhood. One is only a 2 minute
         | walk away but I barely recognise it from the stylisation. I'll
         | never cease to be amazed at how the camera can create a
         | narrative.
        
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