[HN Gopher] My three-year-old has taught me the value of talking...
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My three-year-old has taught me the value of talking to strangers
Author : pseudolus
Score : 40 points
Date : 2021-04-22 10:47 UTC (12 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (www.economist.com)
(TXT) w3m dump (www.economist.com)
| realityIsntHere wrote:
| What was the value?
|
| I didn't see anything tangible other than trading business cards,
| I have a big stack of those. Most are probably out of date.
| Waterluvian wrote:
| There's an episode of Bluey where the daughter makes friends
| instantly on the playground and the dad struggles to be friends
| with the other dad.
|
| It was a wakeup call to me to just say hi to other dads at the
| playground and I'm glad I do it. Sometimes it's awkward but most
| of the time I find someone who also wants to make time go by
| quicker.
| gumby wrote:
| I am very reluctant talk to strangers (not afraid, just fell
| awkward and that I am interrupting). I've admired people who can
| just comfortably pull that off.
|
| Luckily for my kid he naturally has this ability and enjoys it.
| Dunno how!
| jedimastert wrote:
| I have a 3 year old that loves talking to strangers. She misses
| people so much, and I'm really worried about how the quarantine
| is affecting her.
| treeman79 wrote:
| When my youngest was 3 she was best friends with all the others
| in the pool. They didn't know she existed but she followed them
| around and loved be part of the group
| jonplackett wrote:
| Same thing here. The pandemic seems to have made her want to
| talk to strangers even more. I'm going to have to have a proper
| stranger-danger chat at some point because she will start a
| conversation with absolutely _anyone_
| bpodgursky wrote:
| There's no reason to avoid talking to strangers outdoors IMO.
| Outdoor transmission is close to zero even among adults (and
| being 3 years old, your daughter is even less risk).
| pedalpete wrote:
| One of my ex's is unable to not introduce herself to strangers,
| in fact, it's how we met. Standing in line at the grocery store,
| I would watch her get visibly agitated that she hasn't met the
| person in line in front of her, until she suddenly taps them on
| the shoulder and says "Hi I'm Joan!". Most people are shocked,
| and don't quite know what to do, why is this person introducing
| themselves to me. But her attitude is that you never know who
| you're going to meet.
|
| As much as I occasionally try this tactic, I don't have the
| desire for connection she has. I also think it may be easier for
| women then men.
| MeinBlutIstBlau wrote:
| A woman doing that at a grocery store is significantly less
| intimidating than a burly man doing it.
| freeflight wrote:
| I like talking to strangers, the stranger the better. Keeps me
| grounded as it's a good reminder of how my experiences and
| knowledge are not really as universal as I often consider them to
| be.
|
| It's also kind of good training for my sometimes social anxiety;
| For some weird reason strangers don't bother me that much
| compared to people I have some actual relation with.
| slx26 wrote:
| It's not weird, you simply don't have to prove, pretend nor
| preserve anything.
| jraph wrote:
| > For some weird reason strangers don't bother me that much
| compared to people I have some actual relation with
|
| Less is at stake usually.
| kristofferR wrote:
| Very little, if anything, is usually at stake anyway, it's
| normally just a self-inflicted mental own goal.
|
| It's a hard mental paradox to fix though, even though we
| logically understand that people like confident worry-free
| people more than people who worry about how they are liked,
| we still often worry about how we are liked anyway.
| jraph wrote:
| Yes, thanks for saying this so clearly and concisely. Why
| is it so hard to apply this knowledge when actually
| confronted to a situation??
|
| (even for strangers, I stated that less is at stake, but it
| is actually still quite hard for me to speak to them! I'm
| way more at ease with people I know. I am very much aware
| that it goes very well every single time though. It's so
| dumb! Practice helps though.)
| kristofferR wrote:
| There are mountains of books written about this topic for
| a reason, it's a complicated subject.
|
| One thing though, I've recently started taking my fitness
| seriously and I've noticed a borderline magical
| improvement in my confidence and social energy without
| actively focusing on it at all. Worth trying.
|
| It's easy to overthink this stuff, but that might just be
| another way of staying in our head. I don't what it is,
| testosterone maybe, but we shouldn't forget that our head
| is just as much a part of our body as our arms and legs,
| and if we take care of our body our thoughts tend to also
| be taken care of.
| c22 wrote:
| Haha, my six year old has been extremely outgoing probably since
| around 2. That's why I always walk/stand some 25-50 feet away
| from her. Then I can just nod or wave at the stranger and go back
| to staring at my phone.
| renewiltord wrote:
| I think I'd be willing to install a browser extension that just
| kept me logged in to all the things I pay for. Every time I have
| to log in to _The Economist_ again, I feel like canceling. I
| already fucking pay. The least you can do is put a decent session
| cookie on this thing.
|
| If I have to do it next time, I will most definitely cancel.
| tech-no-logical wrote:
| non-paywalled : https://archive.is/fSsDD
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(page generated 2021-04-22 23:00 UTC)