[HN Gopher] Dear Zuckerberg, We're writing to urge you to cancel...
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Dear Zuckerberg, We're writing to urge you to cancel Instagram for
       children [pdf]
        
       Author : giuliomagnifico
       Score  : 324 points
       Date   : 2021-04-16 10:04 UTC (11 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (commercialfreechildhood.org)
 (TXT) w3m dump (commercialfreechildhood.org)
        
       | 2OEH8eoCRo0 wrote:
       | Most adults are addicted to this trash, imagine how addicting or
       | harmful this shit is for children.
       | 
       | We need to do better.
        
         | joseluisq wrote:
         | Yes, this sh*t must stop infecting our children.
         | 
         | But in current conditions, sadly this trash will continue to
         | harm our children if parents as well as those big tech
         | companies don't tackle the problem seriously. It's sad that
         | even they promote or allow it directly or indirectly.
         | 
         | Fortunately there are parents aware about this flagellum and
         | it's harmful impact in the society, specially in our young
         | people. And they don't allow that this happens to their
         | children.
        
         | ngngngng wrote:
         | Instagram is the kind of thing that I really want to like. I
         | like taking pictures, I want to share them with friends, I want
         | to keep up with close friends and whats going on in their lives
         | even when living far away.
         | 
         | But no matter how much work I put in to tailoring my feed, it
         | just shows me half naked people that aren't my friends.
        
           | biztos wrote:
           | I'm pretty active on Instagram and I don't do any specific
           | "tailoring" of my feed. I see about 80% fine art, 15% friends
           | posting about their lives, and 5% semi-famous people I chose
           | to follow.
           | 
           | I don't know what I'm doing right there other than heart-ing
           | stuff I like and only following what interests me.
           | 
           | I'm sure Zuck will destroy it eventually but for now, Insta
           | is the anti-Facebook for me and a source of much positivity.
           | 
           | Maybe do less tailoring? I hope it can be useful for you too.
        
             | ngngngng wrote:
             | Maybe I should start a new one and just follow a couple
             | dozen people I like. I think a lot of the issue could be me
             | following hashtags or topics or whatever instagram calls
             | them. For example, if I follow backpacking, the first few
             | posts will be relevant, then it will devolve into people
             | abusing the hashtag system and me seeing content I'm not
             | interested in.
        
               | mgerullis wrote:
               | If you follow the right accounts, it will actually turn
               | into a nice experience. Personally I never followed many
               | hashtags, instead I used to follow high quality
               | photography accounts. I believe that a small percentage
               | got sold at some point and turned into trash but the
               | majority of my feed was quite tailored and nice.
        
           | xixixao wrote:
           | Instagram feed only shows you accounts you follow.
           | 
           | Search tab on the other hand shows you any accounts IG thinks
           | are relevant to you.
           | 
           | This makes me question the veracity of your comment, unless
           | you meant the Search tab (and even then it's based on your
           | interaction in the app - if you don't click on half-naked
           | people, the app won't show them to you).
        
             | aeon97 wrote:
             | I think the feed also shows ads/"promoted content"? Or that
             | may just be the stories feature. I've had my account
             | deactivated for a few months so I might misremember.
             | Usually the ads I remember did not involve half-naked
             | people, but I think it's a subjective measure, and so
             | influencers' promoted content could be racier to some than
             | others.
        
             | tayo42 wrote:
             | Instagram feed shows you suggested stuff when there's no
             | unseen content. I only follow a few people, if I open
             | Instagram is mostly suggested things
        
           | gnicholas wrote:
           | I see lots of racy advertisements on FB, and I have no idea
           | why. For general privacy reasons, I use FB in a dedicated
           | browser. I do not 'like' companies or products on FB, nor do
           | I follow any celebrities. I don't look at pornography, nor
           | does anyone else at my IP address. Do they just show me this
           | stuff because I'm a man? FB knows I'm married, so I wouldn't
           | think I'd be in the most receptive demographic for this sort
           | of thing. Whenever I check "why did I see this ad?", it
           | always just says they're trying to reach adults in the US.
           | But my wife never gets ads like this, even though they are
           | purportedly ads for racy women's clothing.
           | 
           | I don't use FB much, and stuff like this makes me think I'm
           | doing the right thing (OTOH, I just realized I forgot my good
           | friend's bday yesterday, so I guess it's good for that one
           | thing).
        
             | heavyset_go wrote:
             | > _Do they just show me this stuff because I 'm a man?_
             | 
             | I'd say yes. I made a fake Facebook account so I could
             | participate in my locale's groups without being doxxed, as
             | I've witnessed a single mother get doxxed by the mayor for
             | disagreeing with his policy. I get shown racy posts and
             | friend suggestions based on the fake demographics I set on
             | the account.
        
         | whitepaint wrote:
         | Yes, we need better parents who take responsibility instead of
         | whining and putting blame on others.
        
           | criddell wrote:
           | Isn't it a false dichotomy? Can't we hope for parents to be
           | more involved and also push for companies to act in a more
           | socially responsible way?
        
           | philistine wrote:
           | There is no whining or any assignment of blame in the letter.
           | It is a very cogently worded request to refrain from adapting
           | a purpose-built app meant to drive engagement at all cost
           | (Instagram) for kids under 13.
           | 
           | Of course there is a political play here: if this group gets
           | Zuckerberg to back down and admit his product might not be
           | good for people under 13, then an argument can be made
           | against Instagram as a whole. Perhaps you disagree with that
           | point?
        
       | tharne wrote:
       | Good luck with the letter. It's hard to convince someone who's
       | certain that they already know everything.
        
       | pickledcods wrote:
       | I'm tech savvy, raised my kids internet liberal, gave them lots
       | of freedom and educated them so they could protect themselves
       | without adult supervision. Training to cope with unexpected
       | situations is far more important than withholding them from
       | exposure because you won't be there when it eventually does
       | happen. They are now very literate and use those skills to get
       | the best out of university.
       | 
       | With all their experience and knowledge, they are now warning me:
       | "Dad, facebook/instagram has become a toxic cesspool that isn't
       | fun anymore and should be avoided at all cost!!"
       | 
       | If that isn't a signal to protect youngsters...
        
       | maaand wrote:
       | Steve Jobs didnt allow his kids to use Ipad & Iphone, pretty
       | sure, Zuck doesn't allow his kids on social media.
        
         | ProAm wrote:
         | Steve didnt even acknowledge one of his kids existed for years.
        
       | kart23 wrote:
       | I'm feeling super pessimistic about this. The amount of brand
       | recognition and power that Instagram holds over twenty-somethings
       | is insane, and it seems like a given that they're here to stay.
       | 
       | I actually like VSCO a lot more than Instagram because it doesn't
       | display follow counts, and there's no concept of likes. All in
       | all, a much better experience and a lot less addictive. I just
       | wish you had the option to go private, since I really don't like
       | the idea of not knowing whos viewing my photos.
        
         | takeda wrote:
         | There were open source social network solutions, feels like
         | that would fit perfectly there. Because you deploy it, you have
         | full control who is using it.
         | 
         | I never used any of them, so I'm wondering if they still exist.
        
       | m1117 wrote:
       | Why parents who think so can't just ask kids not to go to
       | instagram? So dumb.
        
         | wussboy wrote:
         | Your comment enrages me. Parenting is a full time battle
         | against both the will of your children and the marketing spend
         | of billion dollar companies. I worry myself sick and drive
         | myself to exhaustion trying to raise sane and happy children,
         | pouring my entire resources in to this battle and you think I
         | should just tell my kids not to do something and problem
         | solved? You think that counts for anything against the billion
         | dollar marketing budget? The team of experts whose only job is
         | to make my kids rebel against my wishes?
         | 
         | This post contained no profanity, but that is only because of
         | Hacker News' general policy of civil discussion. I'm. Furious.
        
           | pjerem wrote:
           | Thank you.
           | 
           | Parenting is really about saying << no >> everyday to the
           | person you love the most on this universe when he deeply want
           | something, while knowing you would have want it either,
           | really wanting to say << yes >> because you want him to be
           | the happiest person on the world but knowing, as a boring
           | adult, that you must say no.
           | 
           | And if you want to succeed, you have to explain why.
           | 
           | And you have to do that everyday.
           | 
           | And I have to admit that you probably have more interesting
           | topics to discuss with your 9yo than explaining what's wrong
           | with social medias and its dangers, and why you won't change
           | your mind even if all his friends already are on Instakids.
           | 
           | It's not that the the topic is not interesting to discuss
           | with your child, it's that at 9yo, they just don't care about
           | it. And they shouldn't even have to care, because a 9yo have
           | really, really more interesting things to live than being on
           | Instakids.
           | 
           | Zuckerberg is forcing every parent on this planet to have
           | this useless, meaningless and boring conversation just
           | because he want to spy children with the hope of selling them
           | some Coca-Cola. That's another proof of his total absence of
           | ethical limits.
        
           | throwaway3699 wrote:
           | I do empathise, but only because I remember how things were
           | for me as a kid (just as FB was rising to prominence). My
           | parents did not let me on the site until I was 13, but pretty
           | much everyone else was there since at least the middle of
           | primary school.
           | 
           | I was really introverted and socially awkward at that age, so
           | I found it difficult to be excluded in this way. When I did
           | finally get access to social platforms in general, my social
           | wellbeing was an order of magnitude better, started making
           | more friends, not being left out of events because I didn't
           | have an account (this happened even with some family as
           | well). Until then I would never hear about things until right
           | before they were happening, and people asked if I was going.
           | 
           | So while FB is an overgrown monster today, it's far more than
           | large marketing departments gone mad. There is a real social
           | cost to not being on these platforms.
           | 
           | (Also, good on you for not giving in. Because regardless of
           | how I felt at the time, I'm glad my parents did force me to
           | wait. It's probably not healthy to plug children into
           | gigantic ML manipulation engines.)
        
             | travisporter wrote:
             | For every one of you, I bet there are there ten others
             | (myself included) who would hear about parties, see other
             | friends make plans with each other, and realize where they
             | stood on the social order. Maybe I am a half decade older
             | than you (FB started when I was in college) but the day I
             | got off of it, my close friends got closer and my FB
             | friends lost all of their allocated memory
        
               | throwaway3699 wrote:
               | This wasn't a case of being ignorant of the social
               | hierarchy. It was about technology being able to pull me
               | out of my introverted shell. Things got much better as I
               | grew up.
        
           | axguscbklp wrote:
           | What do you think is a bigger problem for your children,
           | Instagram or the fact that they have a parent who becomes
           | absolutely furious in reaction to a pretty harmless Internet
           | comment, using language like "I worry myself sick and drive
           | myself to exhaustion" and "make my kids rebel against my
           | wishes"?
           | 
           | I used the Internet however I pleased when I was a kid and I
           | turned out fine. Maybe you should just let your kids use the
           | Internet however they please rather than trying to control
           | it.
        
           | hnbad wrote:
           | It's infuriating when the argument is that "cancelling" this
           | app would infringe on children's (and parents'?) rights while
           | also the proposed alternative implicitly boils down to
           | invading your child's privacy via surveillance software.
           | 
           | So if your child ends up on Instagram Kids to their detriment
           | it's because you failed as a parent but to take measures to
           | actively prevent that you need to also fail. And this for an
           | issue that doesn't even have to exist and we (well,
           | Zuckerberg) can just decide not to create.
        
       | keepper wrote:
       | "Commercial free childhood"
       | 
       | Every comment here seems to be around social medial. That doesn't
       | seem to be their ploy. They object to commercials.
       | 
       | Did everyone else here have a different childhood? I'm 40+ and
       | i've been bombarded by commercials since I can remember. How is
       | Facebook the biggest offender and not
       | 
       | - Video Shows (TV/Streaming/Insert anything that needs
       | sponsorship)
       | 
       | - Any Visual media
       | 
       | - Food
       | 
       | - Toys
       | 
       | - insert anything that is sold.
       | 
       | I'm not seeing anything here except go after "big target we don't
       | like based on things we think are right" were all of these are
       | very subjective...
       | 
       | For X sake... the US has an obesity crisis, and we are worrying
       | about screen time?...
        
         | foobiter wrote:
         | we can walk and chew bubblegum at the same time
        
         | websites2323 wrote:
         | Because Facebook, along with Google, are modern day Robber
         | Barons of Surveillance Capitalism. They monitor behavior and
         | use that information to target ads.
         | 
         | Sure, cereal companies know that big boxes with cute characters
         | at kid-height sells sugar pops. But Facebook knows every like,
         | every friend request, every post, every message... check-ins at
         | businesses. They combine the social anxiety of adolescence with
         | advertising. It's sick. Adults are easily manipulated. Children
         | even more so.
         | 
         | And when you bring up those other advertisement pathways:
         | they're manipulative too!
        
       | root_axis wrote:
       | It seems odd to me that the same thing we regard as inherently
       | harmful to children is simultaneously regarded as a necessary
       | human right for adults.
        
       | adam wrote:
       | I'm reminded of this article from 2011 about Silicon Valley
       | executives who send their kids to their local Waldorf
       | School...Where tech is forbidden.
       | https://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/23/technology/at-waldorf-sch...
        
       | aiisahik wrote:
       | This is written by some out of touch people. Sooner or later
       | children (along with adults) are going to live most of their
       | social lives in some non-physical form. Doesn't matter of it's on
       | a computer, phone or VR, wearable or something else we haven't
       | come up with yet. It might be instagram or snap or tiktok or
       | something else. What it DEFINITELY will not be is the physical
       | world. You lost that fight already. Maybe some rich parents will
       | be able to spend a huge amount of money to craft a childhood that
       | is physical first but for the majority of children, that will be
       | out of reach.
       | 
       | And rightly so - children are just mimicking what the adults
       | around them are doing. The parents are socializing, working and
       | finding dates on their phones. It's just a better and more
       | efficient way or doing something. When those children grow up
       | they will have to navigate that same world. Is it a better
       | experience overall? Probably not. Will killing instagram for
       | children make a difference in the long term? No way.
       | 
       | What a waste of (digital) paper this pdf is.
        
         | websites2323 wrote:
         | Does that mean we are required to cede that experience to an
         | exploitative megacorp?
        
         | matz1 wrote:
         | Exactly, social media has become important part of modern
         | world, It has it good and bad. It important not to completely
         | detach them from social media but rather teach them how to
         | deal/manage social media, especially from early age.
         | 
         | When they grow up they will have to deal with this, teaching
         | them the skill on how to navigate social media will be
         | beneficial.
        
         | sweetheart wrote:
         | Did you see all the signatories? They seem to be wildly in-
         | touch with the subject. You think all those experts in the
         | field are misled?
        
       | cies wrote:
       | > commercialfreechildhood.org
       | 
       | commercialfreelife@localhost :)
       | 
       | Now lets get rid of all ads in public spaces.
        
       | mustafa_pasi wrote:
       | Why would Instagram be appealing to children?
       | 
       | Instagram is mostly used by young adults trying to build their
       | social status through a curated (manipulated) image of their
       | lives.
       | 
       | I don't see how it would appeal to children.
        
         | Rendello wrote:
         | Children like emulating adults and "older kids"
        
         | sodality2 wrote:
         | It's popular. If everyone else has it, that means you are
         | missing out if you don't. As a child, saying "No sorry, I'm not
         | on instagram" means they're a social outcast in their heads. Of
         | course, no one actually cares, but social interactions matter a
         | lot at that age.
         | 
         | Edit to add: A lot of teachers are also trying to be hip and
         | cool. Three times in the past year I have been assigned
         | "tiktok" assignments where I either had to record a tiktok or
         | watch a tiktok. Of course there were other options that I took,
         | but if some kid doesn't have it simply because they don't care,
         | not out of privacy reasons, they'd probably download and start
         | using it regularly after thinking a grade rides on it.
         | 
         | That's another thing: I am 100% serious when I say that my
         | peers are addicted to tiktok. I know people who regularly spend
         | 6+ hours a day just scrolling through it. In fact, I don't know
         | anyone who doesn't spend at least 2 hours daily on it. I don't
         | think any other social media comes close to it in
         | addictiveness. It is literally almost everyone I know, even
         | tangentially.
        
         | SllX wrote:
         | A few years ago, I heard a couple of kids on the bus singing
         | songs about how they're going to be big on Instagram. It stuck
         | with me as one of those things about how kids observe the world
         | versus how I observed it as a kid.
         | 
         | So to answer your question, I don't know how it would be
         | appealing, but I think they find it appealing anyway
         | independent of whether we know why, so it's probably worth
         | revisiting your priors.
        
           | markpeppers wrote:
           | I could be wrong, but I think a "whoosh" applies here.
        
       | acheron wrote:
       | Did you hear something? It sounded like a cash register opening
       | and closing. Kinda like "ch-ching, ch-ching".
       | 
       | No, no - I heard more like a slot machine jackpot. Sorta "Ding-a-
       | ding, ling-ling-dong-ding-ding."
       | 
       | https://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/06/16
        
       | throwaway12g72 wrote:
       | What about Tiktok?
        
         | Bombthecat wrote:
         | Yeah, thought the same, this train left already the station.
        
       | raoa wrote:
       | Schools have no business giving instruction on modern web
       | literacy given that doing so correctly requires cultivating in
       | kids an inflexibly adversarial mindset towards all the services
       | they will use.
        
       | anshumankmr wrote:
       | There is no incentive for Zuckerberg to ever stop it. Plus, there
       | is no realistic way for Instagram to really check for age. Unless
       | they start asking for a government ID,which might drive more
       | people off their platform as they look for anonymity on social
       | media.
        
         | kube-system wrote:
         | > Unless they start asking for a government ID,
         | 
         | Instagram started asking some accounts for ID 8 months ago.
         | 
         | https://about.instagram.com/blog/announcements/introducing-n...
         | 
         | Facebook has asked for ID for years now.
        
         | klmadfejno wrote:
         | Don't they already do this if they don't think your profile
         | looks legit?
        
         | monkeynotes wrote:
         | If FB reassures the new IG-K is safe for kids, then many
         | parents are probably going to trust that this is true. Now
         | their kids will be subject to all the puke that is on
         | Instagram, pedos will target it for grooming since the audience
         | is specifically children. Kids will be subject to all the
         | monetization efforts FB can throw at them. I imagine kids would
         | also stress about competing with their friend's popularity and
         | all of the other ugly shit grown ups subject themselves to when
         | they obsess over IG.
        
           | stelonix wrote:
           | Dunno how it works in the US, but in Brazil there are plenty
           | of "influencer" children accounts on IG and they already are
           | dealing with IG obsession and whatnot. Knowing that, I figure
           | IG is trying to isolate kids in a sub-site.
        
             | klyrs wrote:
             | Does that address the problem, or merely change the window
             | dressing?
        
         | lm28469 wrote:
         | Youtube started asking me for my passport and/or credit card to
         | confirm my age 2 weeks ago for any age restricted videos, it's
         | definitely doable
        
           | LatteLazy wrote:
           | Mind if I ask where are you based?
        
             | lm28469 wrote:
             | Germany
        
               | LatteLazy wrote:
               | Thanks!
        
           | [deleted]
        
         | nicklecompte wrote:
         | I think you misunderstood the letter: they aren't complaining
         | about Instagram specifically, they are complaining about a
         | proposed version of Instagram designed for kids under 13. So
         | your comment seems basically irrelevant to the matter - they
         | aren't asking him to change Instagram, they are asking him to
         | cancel a product that hasn't been launched yet.
        
           | resoluteteeth wrote:
           | I think the comment you are responding to is addressing use
           | of normal Instagram by kids under 13, which is something the
           | letter also discusses.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | Mc_Big_G wrote:
       | Good luck. FB and Zuckerberg care about nothing other than
       | profit. Eg. check the privacy notices in ios.
        
       | syrrim wrote:
       | I am deeply uncomfortable with the implicit premise that children
       | are so different from adults that they should be totally
       | segregated from adults in padded rooms, and furthermore that this
       | is so important that even their parents shouldn't be able to
       | override this concern. In order to make a platform that avoids
       | COPPA, facebook will need to ask for the parents consent. As part
       | of this, they will likely give the parents some degree of insight
       | and control over how their children are interacting with the
       | platform. In my view, this makes nearly any negative part of the
       | platform permissible. Children are expected to develop into
       | adults; the only way this can happen is if we allow them to be
       | exposed to the world of adults. Different parents will be
       | comfortable giving their children different breadth in this
       | regard. I really don't think one parent should be dictating to
       | another how to raise their children. By construction, instagram
       | for children will allow the signatory parents to totally opt-out.
       | That ought to be sufficient.
        
       | saos wrote:
       | What what?
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | dheera wrote:
       | Also Zuckerberg can you please disable geotags for ecological
       | reserves?
        
       | stunt wrote:
       | Thanks god I work from home now and I don't have to see half of
       | the train purposelessly scrolling through Instagram.
        
       | blackoil wrote:
       | Why aren't parent ready to take responsibility? I have small kids
       | and nephews, none of them get/will get smartphone till 13-15.
       | Laptop, the 8 year old uses has a whitelist of apps/sites. If
       | they need anything from Youtube, I'll download it and they play
       | on VLC. Why should Zuckerbergs of the world be able to enter
       | their world without supervision?
        
         | vletal wrote:
         | FOMO? Potential social isolation?
         | 
         | I have just a 2yo and a t-6m so I do not have to worry about
         | these things. Yet the way you handle it sounds a bit too
         | strict. You sure that maybe strict limits on screen time and
         | YouTube together with speaking about what they consume would
         | not teach them more?
        
           | whitepaint wrote:
           | Everyone's insane so I must be as well. Come on man. I
           | totally agree with the OP, take personal responsibility. You
           | raise your children not Zuck.
           | 
           | Louis CK had great comments about this:
           | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HbYScltf1c
        
             | vletal wrote:
             | I was actually asking an honest question. I do not think
             | I'm giving up on my responsibilities. It's just that does
             | serving as a proxy to YouTube really help better than some
             | reasonable weekly limit?
        
             | throwawaymrmr wrote:
             | As somebody who was raised similarly to the OP's "sane"
             | way, I would certainly prefer being "insane" to the social
             | isolation I ended up in. Of course, there were countless
             | other factors that made me who I am, but this is still
             | something to consider.
        
             | philistine wrote:
             | I would refrain from using Louis CK as any sort of a moral
             | compass. For obvious reasons.
        
               | po1nter wrote:
               | Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
        
               | Karsteski wrote:
               | So should a person's mistakes be held against them for
               | the rest of their life? Especially given what he did,
               | which seemed very mild compared to the reaction.
        
               | boringg wrote:
               | I think OPs comment is accurate. He does lose his ability
               | to be used as a moral compass. He might still be funny
               | and have interesting insights but he is not a moral
               | compass.
        
               | Karsteski wrote:
               | Hmm I heavily disagree. I think that just because someone
               | did something fucked up in the past doesn't mean they can
               | no longer be trusted or their moral compass/judgement is
               | somehow permanently broken.
               | 
               | Perhaps this is the case for me because what he did
               | wasn't really messed up from what I know about the story,
               | just weird.
               | 
               | I will concede that in some situations, and from my
               | perspective these would almost entire involve sexual
               | assault, I'd consider a person unredeemable.
        
               | boringg wrote:
               | In a situation where someone has indeed done some fucked
               | up stuff - they need to prove that their moral compass
               | has been fixed in order for them to be trusted again. I
               | don't think you get a pass because you've been quiet for
               | a couple years. So I disagree with you.
               | 
               | You should probably go read up on what he did - pretty
               | messed up power dynamics.
               | (https://www.thecut.com/2018/08/what-about-the-careers-
               | of-lou...)
        
               | Karsteski wrote:
               | Sigh, idk how far I want to go with this but I'll ask
               | this: How is this an abuse of power dynamics? To me, if
               | someone asked me "Can I masturbate in front of you?",
               | them being the CEO of my company wouldn't pressure me to
               | comply because I'd be afraid of what people said, or what
               | have you.
               | 
               | Even this article just brushes past the fact that he
               | _did_ ask. Now, I do think what he did was weird and
               | creepy, but I try not to judge people too much on what
               | they get off to.
               | 
               | Lastly, this article just seems written to be purposely
               | inflammatory and is missing quite a lot of context...
               | 
               | "C.K. didn't just subject these women to sexual
               | harassment and the personal struggles that come with
               | that, he subjected them to threats from strangers, to
               | alienation from their colleagues and peers, to lost
               | professional opportunities. "
               | 
               | Really? He purposely subjected them to threats and
               | alienation? If anything, the colleagues and peers are
               | pieces of shit, which has nothing to do with Louis C.K.
        
               | foobiter wrote:
               | you think serially ejaculating in front of people without
               | consent is mild? are you serious?
        
               | whitepaint wrote:
               | He's arguably the greatest comedian of all time. I think
               | there's definitely a thing or two to extract from his
               | wisdom.
        
               | tryonenow wrote:
               | The fact that someone acted immorally in one way does not
               | imply that they are incapable of giving any moral advice.
               | By your logic no human being can be trusted as a "moral
               | compass". Just another problem with modern cancel culture
               | - consistently throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
        
             | kube-system wrote:
             | An individual's personal responsibility only goes so far to
             | shape the social norms that your kid will be exposed to. If
             | the thing you don't want your kid doing becomes a norm,
             | then abstaining may come with additional consequences of
             | sizable consequence.
        
               | whitepaint wrote:
               | Society is made of individuals. Leave the decision to an
               | individual and the equilibrium of right will be reached
               | quicker. We don't need one huge entity to tell us what's
               | wrong or right. We don't need governments to babysit us.
               | 
               | Let's use an example. Let's say now the norm becomes to
               | allow kids to drink alcohol and smoke weed. Would you
               | allow your kids to do it? Same principles, in my opinion,
               | stand with Instagram or any other tool / toy / gadget.
        
               | elliekelly wrote:
               | It's not that easy or simple. Not by a long shot. You
               | might find Eleanor Ostrom's 1990 "Governing the
               | Commons"[1] interesting - it details exactly how
               | individuals can work together to reach "equilibrium" and
               | it doesn't involve governments _or_ selfish (in the
               | economics sense) individuals. She won a Nobel Memorial
               | Prize in Economics for the book and her subsequent
               | related work. The title of course is a play on the title
               | of the classic  "Tragedy of the Commons" article
               | advocating for privatization over centralized government
               | oversight. I won't spoil the book but she addresses the
               | "privatize the commons" approach as well. Her conclusions
               | might surprise you.
               | 
               | [1]https://archive.org/details/governingthecommons
        
               | vletal wrote:
               | You sure that your "we do not need governments to babysit
               | us" ideology goes well with the rest of the tread you
               | seemingly agree with?
        
               | evanlivingston wrote:
               | You seen the pollution people create left to their own
               | free will?
        
               | kube-system wrote:
               | A lot of parents do give some leeway in letting their
               | kids get away with those things in order to let them fit
               | in. Mostly, the reason kids don't do those things more is
               | _exactly because_ we had the government ban those things
               | for kids.
               | 
               | But, alas, Instagram is not a regulated drug, and I see
               | little reason why most parents' reactions wouldn't be
               | more similar to those they have for video games or
               | watching movies than it would be to the use of an illegal
               | drug.
               | 
               | A more apt comparison might be a parent who doesn't let
               | their kid go to the movies or play video games with their
               | friends.
        
               | whitepaint wrote:
               | > Mostly, the reason kids don't do those things more is
               | exactly because we had the government ban those things
               | for kids.
               | 
               | I completely disagree. We don't allow those things
               | because we know kids shouldn't be doing it. If there were
               | no drinking age laws kids would still not be drinking and
               | smoking weed because parents wouldn't allow it. That was
               | kinda my point. (let's not talk about the outliers,
               | obviously some kids smoke and drink)
        
               | kube-system wrote:
               | I'm not sure that underage drinking is an outlier, at
               | least here in the US. In fact, the _majority_ of college
               | students in the US violate drinking age laws.
               | 
               | https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/brochures-and-
               | fact-sh...
               | 
               | > If there were no drinking age laws kids would still not
               | be drinking and smoking weed because parents wouldn't
               | allow it.
               | 
               | In places with more relaxed drinking laws, we _do_ often
               | see more kids drinking. 42% of 15 year old boys were
               | weekly drinkers in the UK in 2002.
               | 
               | https://www.euro.who.int/__data/assets/pdf_file/0007/3828
               | 40/...
               | 
               | > Most young people begin using alcohol between the ages
               | of 12 and 16, an age at which they gain increasing
               | independence and spend more time outside the home
               | unsupervised. At the same time, the direct influence of
               | parents diminishes and friends become increasingly
               | important.
        
         | mathattack wrote:
         | Yes, parents should make sure their kids don't drink or smoke.
         | 
         | Also Yes, it should be illegal to sell them cigarettes and
         | beer.
        
           | RHSman2 wrote:
           | This
        
         | Sharlin wrote:
         | There are millions of parents, while there is only one Mark
         | Zuckerberg. There's no such thing as parents collectively
         | deciding to take responsibility, and it's unfair to the
         | children to just expect them to have good parents. It's a
         | classic case of a coordination problem.
        
           | jldugger wrote:
           | So if we break up facebook, there is no hope?
        
             | samcal wrote:
             | What? It's not that there's just one Zuck, it's that there
             | are fewer Zucks than parents. The strategy would be the
             | same if there were 5 Facebooks competing for market share.
        
               | [deleted]
        
           | noxer wrote:
           | >and it's unfair to the children to just expect them to have
           | good parents.
           | 
           | Also unfair because some parents are not rich. Some aren't
           | living in the right place. Some are not highly intelligent.
           | Some are not woke enough. Indeed very very unfair.
           | 
           | Lets hand over the responsibility to companies or to the
           | state. Communistic coordinated child parenting probably isn't
           | gonna make it better for the children but at least its fair.
        
             | tharne wrote:
             | I think you identified the next great charity, "The
             | foundation for the forgotten children of unwoke parents".
        
             | Hnrobert42 wrote:
             | Handing over control to the state? Communism? What are you
             | talking about? I'm worried there may be a CO2 build up in
             | your bunker.
        
             | dTal wrote:
             | Could you clarify your point? It's hard to tell what it is.
        
         | kolbe wrote:
         | I'm pretty tech literate, and I have no clue how to get a
         | whitelist-only OS. I don't think it's fair to make every
         | American understand this in order to protect their children
         | from predatory companies.
        
         | bigbob2 wrote:
         | My parents often worked 70+ hour weeks just to keep a roof over
         | my head. If they tried to find the time to restrict content
         | from me in the manner you suggest, I may have never become a
         | developer. Every situation is different, so I don't think you
         | should assume your solution is one size fits all.
        
         | iforgetti wrote:
         | Imagine if cigarettes were legal for all ages. It might fair to
         | call on both cigarette companies to stop selling to children
         | and also to call on parents to prevent their kids from smoking.
        
         | tharne wrote:
         | You're asking parents why they might have trouble competing for
         | their children's attention vs. a company with essentially
         | unlimited money and some of the best programmers and marketers
         | in the world? I sincerely hope you're being sarcastic.
         | 
         | By the way, I can almost guarantee you that your kids will find
         | a way to get themselves smartphones before you officially allow
         | it. Kids are resourceful, and there's nothing as tempting as
         | something their parents tell them they can't have.
        
         | lhorie wrote:
         | Why is the assumption that it's an either-or thing? We can have
         | responsible parents AND people being outraged at zuck's
         | moneygrab-at-the-expense-of-children move.
         | 
         | With this said, I don't exactly understand how an instagram for
         | children can possibly hope to NOT run afoul of COPPA. All it
         | takes is one child uploading a single photo of themselves or
         | their siblings, or referring to a friend by name in a comment,
         | or heck even just using their real name in their username...
        
         | Waterluvian wrote:
         | The ability to more intelligently control access to sites/apps
         | WITHOUT requiring technical competence is critical.
         | 
         | I think Apple and Android offer some fairly powerful tools to
         | manage these things? But I've found that routers, even in 2021,
         | are just trash garbage at offering these kinds of powers.
        
         | syops wrote:
         | What kind of society do you want to live in? One where
         | children's attention can be exploited at the whim of
         | corporations because they happen to have parents that aren't
         | vigilant enough? Shouldn't society in the form of it's
         | government look out for the best interests of its most
         | vulnerable citizens? There are lots of parents who suck and
         | aren't ready/able to take responsibility as you put it.
         | Shouldn't we as a whole at least makes some effort to look out
         | for those children born to irresponsible parents?
        
         | thesausageking wrote:
         | Your kids maybe too young to have experienced it, but at some
         | age social media takes over. Even if you put your foot down and
         | don't let your kid have an account or a phone, their friends
         | will post photos of them and tease them. And kids can be really
         | cruel.
         | 
         | Given Facebook has a monopoly in social networks, it's entirely
         | reasonable to hold them to a higher standard and question the
         | impact of new products which use their monopoly power to
         | launch.
        
           | phku wrote:
           | 100% agree. When they're really young it's almost trivial to
           | control their online habits. But they definitely hit an "age"
           | where peer pressure and the want to fit-in becomes the all
           | consuming incentive to be part of these social media
           | networks. We'd managed to avoid the whole cell phone thing
           | until our son was 13, which was some kind of miracle since
           | I've been seeing cell phones on kids desks as young as 1st
           | grade for years now.
           | 
           | It's definitely an easier said than done scenario.
        
         | Angostura wrote:
         | This is absolutely fine. Until you realise that your kids are
         | absolutely miserable because all of their friend groups are
         | arranging to meet in the park or whatever via WhatsApp.
         | 
         | You'll get really sick of downloading every. Single. Minecraft
         | redstone tutorial for them.
        
           | ryandrake wrote:
           | If their "friends" are arranging play through some medium
           | that they know the kid doesn't have access too, I have some
           | bad news for the kid: They're probably not his friends. My
           | friends know that I'm not on Facebook, and they know to
           | contact me over E-mail when we're getting together.
           | 
           | EDIT: Wow, how is this so unpopular? Do your friends
           | regularly make plans together without you?
        
             | onion2k wrote:
             | "They're probably not his friends." is right. The problem
             | is that being "the weird kid who's strict parents won't let
             | him have a phone" could mean he won't have any real
             | friends. Kids can be harsh, and being different to everyone
             | else doesn't help.
             | 
             |  _Maybe_ he 'll have friends who'll put the additional
             | effort in to copy him in on email or phone the home land-
             | line. But maybe he won't. Seems a big risk to take.
        
             | dTal wrote:
             | You're asking a lot of immature, status-obsessed humans to
             | go out of their way to accommodate someone. They might not
             | even be "friends" yet, just social groups that one might
             | like to be a part of. How are you meant to _make_ friends
             | if you can 't participate in popular bonding exercises in
             | the first place? WhatsApp groups are social venues in their
             | own right.
        
             | black_puppydog wrote:
             | Must've been a while since being a child, huh? I mean, I
             | get where you're coming from, but your ideological stance
             | not gonna help your child at all.
             | 
             | As opposed to the stance (admittedly also ideological, but
             | I agree with this one) that facebook and all its
             | subsidiaries should gtfo children's lives.
        
               | ryandrake wrote:
               | We agree that social media should GTFO of children's
               | lives at least! I'm just responding to the parent who
               | said the kid's "friend groups are arranging to meet in
               | the park or whatever via WhatsApp". If they are arranging
               | these things and leaving the kid out, that doesn't sound
               | like very friendly behavior to me.
               | 
               | Back when I was a kid and dinosaurs roamed the earth, we
               | made after-school plans in 4th period math, because we
               | were all in the same class. If my friends suddenly
               | started making plans in a class where they knew I wasn't
               | present, I'd start questioning whether they were really
               | friends.
        
               | danbolt wrote:
               | I think for a lot of our communications, elements of 4th
               | period math have now moved to a group chat.
        
               | lthornberry wrote:
               | The social norm these days is really different. It's not
               | about your friends suddenly starting a new, exclusive
               | behavior; its about a slow migration of the people in
               | your social world to a tech platform you don't have
               | access to. And kids do get left out because of this--not
               | for nefarious reasons, but because they're just not going
               | to be in the loop for a significant part of the social
               | interactions that are taking place.
        
               | jka wrote:
               | It's almost as if there's a pattern in the way that
               | social networks grow, attract users (perhaps identifying
               | people who are likely to draw other users on-board), and
               | then atrophy after being seen as 'outdated' -- usually
               | around the same time that a new platform happens to be
               | appearing.
        
               | ryandrake wrote:
               | Thanks. I suppose maybe I'm just getting elderly and out
               | of touch. Gotta be open to that possibility. I know kids
               | can be cruel but wow. Even if not nefarious, it's
               | callous. In my day you were excluded because you were
               | weird, now it's because you aren't hooked to a particular
               | corporate-mediated communication medium. Sometimes I
               | think we deserve the mild dystopia we have built for
               | ourselves!
        
               | jka wrote:
               | This is kind-of a meta comment, but I expect that the
               | platforms would actually benefit from this kind of
               | defeatism in older generations, so I'd encourage you not
               | to concede to it.
               | 
               | Yes, platforms can influence social interaction a lot -
               | but ultimately, regardless of age, we're all still human.
               | 
               | I think most people learn to understand what's fair and
               | unfair in terms of inclusivity, even if it takes longer
               | in some situations. We'll figure out better solutions.
        
               | scrollaway wrote:
               | Do you really not remember being a kid? What your parents
               | allow you to do, have, how they present you all has a
               | very significant influence on how other kids perceive you
               | and whether you will be accepted as a friend.
               | 
               | Being a kid without friends because your parents sucked
               | at teaching you how to integrate into society, is very
               | very hard. And allowing your children to be part of other
               | children's social lives, that matters. Even if that means
               | joining shitty social networks.
               | 
               | Does that situation suck, yes. But don't put this on the
               | kids. Please don't make children suffer because of your
               | views on an idealistic society.
        
         | pimlottc wrote:
         | Seems to me that petitioning Facebook about this is a way of
         | parents taking responsibility for making a better world for
         | their kids.
        
         | paulcole wrote:
         | > none of them get/will get smartphone till 13-15
         | 
         | I had technophobe parents like this. When other kids got
         | technology I had to do without to build character or whatever.
         | 
         | Lesson I learned is that adults are mostly pretty dumb and
         | stubborn. Haven't seen 'em in 15 years.
        
         | criddell wrote:
         | A cell phone was basically considered a required item like
         | binders and pens at my kids' school. Rather than ban them, they
         | try to encourage appropriate use.
         | 
         | For example, they encourage the use of the calendar app for
         | tracking assignments and test dates. They use the camera to
         | capture information for homework. Kids have projects that
         | sometimes involves recording audio or shooting video. There's
         | also a twitter-like app that the teacher can use to broadcast
         | to students and students can use to communicate with the
         | teacher.
        
           | mujina93 wrote:
           | This is probably one of the few right approaches that can be
           | realistically employed. Everything else is quite utopian and
           | difficult to achieve, unfortunately.
        
         | Hnrobert42 wrote:
         | You seem like a very tech savvy and involved parent. Maybe
         | having the time, energy, and education to be so savvy and
         | involved is a privilege.
        
         | dalbasal wrote:
         | >> Why aren't parent ready to take responsibility?
         | 
         | There are two ways to look at this, imo:
         | 
         | (1) Individual parents. Absolutely agree. If you are one, do
         | your research and limit internet use.
         | 
         | (2) Societally... It's hard. Culture doesn't move as fast as
         | tech does. If SV culture isn't totally caught up, where is the
         | average culture? It's hard because "think totally
         | independently" isn't how people work, at least not all the
         | time. Especially when it comes to parenting, people rely on
         | norms.
         | 
         | Meanwhile, it's hard to control those little Bs.
        
         | takeda wrote:
         | Not all parents are users of HN, if anything, we are vast
         | minority.
         | 
         | While perhaps setting parental controls is trying to be simple
         | and parents can get somebody's help with it, the second part
         | like downloading video from youtube and playing it on VLC is
         | way beyond most people. Especially that's not officially
         | supported by YT.
        
         | nickthemagicman wrote:
         | I believe the prevailing view is: instead of deleting Facebook
         | and putting a white list on you home computer, it's way better
         | for congress to enact massive federal legislation.
        
         | PicassoCTs wrote:
         | They do, they vote for politicians to make laws to remove that
         | threat to their childs well being permanently. Why is it fair
         | to privatize the infinite work-load of thwarting attackers, but
         | unfair to centralize the work-load of defence?
        
         | RcouF1uZ4gsC wrote:
         | > Why aren't parent ready to take responsibility
         | 
         | Yes, I mean parents should be responsible not to use leaded
         | paint. And parents should be responsible for making sure they
         | don't buy a crib that can suffocate their infant. And parents
         | should be responsible for making sure pajamas are not going to
         | catch on fire. And parents should be responsible for making
         | sure that their kids avoid cigarette ads targeted to kids (like
         | Joe Camel).
         | 
         | With kids, if there is a certain threshold of danger from
         | something, especially if it is being targeted to kids, I think
         | society should regulate (see alcohol and tobacco). I think
         | there is increasing evidence that certain types of social media
         | are harmful to kids.
        
         | bobthechef wrote:
         | Indeed. It does seem like a defect in parenting. There is no
         | conceivable reason why you can't forbid your kids from using
         | these things (whether they disobey is another matter, but
         | that's life and at least the law has been made known to said
         | progeny; may the punishment begin!). If you can't do _that_ ,
         | then frankly, you've got bigger issues as a parent than the
         | inability to forbid the use of these services. Maybe start with
         | those first.
        
         | hnalien wrote:
         | Peer pressure is real among kids aged 8-22 (yes, that's a huge
         | range but that's what is). You can stop your kids all you want,
         | but then they will find ways to experience what you have
         | deprived them of, and that will be catastrophic for their
         | development and relationships in general. I'd like some child
         | growth specialist to chime in, but I believe this dynamic won't
         | be good as parents are a safe haven for kids and if kids think
         | parents are not letting them have something that all the other
         | kids have, it might affect them longterm.
        
         | rimliu wrote:
         | Why not 18? You ate not helping anybody here, sorry.
        
         | sweetheart wrote:
         | There is an enormous difference between some parents going
         | through the effort to healthily manage their kids' screen time,
         | and making the societal default lower screen time for _all_
         | kids. I could see the former just being incredibly alienating
         | and depressing, as all the other kid's may have access to these
         | things.
        
         | patkai wrote:
         | Everybody should take responsibility, parents first and also
         | Zuckerberg.
        
         | AnonHP wrote:
         | > I have small kids and nephews, none of them get/will get
         | smartphone till 13-15.
         | 
         | During normal times, they'll just get it from their friends or
         | schoolmates. Unless you can surveil the kids all the time, this
         | method alone won't help.
        
         | reaperducer wrote:
         | _Why aren 't parent ready to take responsibility?_
         | 
         | Easy to say from an ivory tower.
         | 
         | Not everyone is you. Some people have two jobs. Some people
         | travel a lot. Some people have to take care of sick relatives.
         | Some people have hard jobs that consume a lot of time. Some
         | people are poor. Some people don't have great education. Some
         | people are simply not capable of doing all the things that you
         | do.
         | 
         | It's very SV Bubble to make bad products available and then
         | blame the parents when they damage their children. That's not
         | how a civilized society works. It's why we have a Consumer
         | Products Safety Commission.
         | 
         | Why can Facebook just do the right thing and not target
         | children? Why is Facebook making money more important than
         | everything else in the world?
        
         | ryandrake wrote:
         | As a parent, I know I signed up for this. I need to tell her
         | "no" many times a day, every day, for things she really wants
         | to do. That's part of being a parent. I need to suck it up and
         | be a parent.
         | 
         | That said, I don't appreciate that there are people out there
         | like Zucc, who are making it their business to create even more
         | things I have to say no to, and specifically targeting them at
         | kids. Just like those people out there making kids games that
         | are essentially casino gambling, but just barely on the safe
         | side of the legal line. Thanks, a lot assholes, for adding no
         | value to the world and giving me yet another thing to forbid my
         | kid from doing.
        
           | jgon wrote:
           | I feel this deeply, especially the final paragraph. Feels
           | really depressing sometimes to think how much of what we
           | define as "value" can seem essentially predatory.
        
         | why_Mr_Anderson wrote:
         | Great way to make the life of your kids absolute hell at
         | school. I feel sorry for them, being isolated from other kids
         | because your parents are crazy is horrible.
        
         | vletal wrote:
         | How did they come up with 13yo as the minimal age btw. Is it
         | set globally? I feel like it's itself too low.
        
           | mrguyorama wrote:
           | 13 is the minimum age you can get some sort of consent to log
           | data and interact with someone in the US (with parents
           | permission I think?) or something like that
        
             | vletal wrote:
             | Ah. Ok. Here in Czechia we get partial responsibility at
             | the age of 15...
        
           | heavyset_go wrote:
           | I agree it's too low, but any higher age would be "bad for
           | business"
        
           | underdown wrote:
           | In the US it's defined by COPPA. Children's online privacy &
           | protection act
        
         | [deleted]
        
         | logicalmind wrote:
         | I used to think this way. I have 3 kids, the oldest of which is
         | now in her mid teens. Doing what you say is way harder than you
         | think. Mostly because you have to control not only your own
         | children, but your children's friends as well.
         | 
         | For example, my kids did not get phones. But all of their
         | friends had them. Which meant my kids would just create
         | accounts for these services on their friends phones and just
         | post whatever they wanted without me being able to control it.
         | 
         | A second example is when their friends get new phones. Guess
         | what they do with the old phone? They give it other kids who
         | don't have them. Sure, they don't have a cell plan. But that
         | doesn't stop them from using wifi at starbucks or any other
         | place.
        
         | brightball wrote:
         | While I agree with you completely, I imagine there are a number
         | of parents not savvy enough to know how to lock these things
         | down.
         | 
         | I tell parents about the reasons to avoid this stuff all the
         | time and many of them are so exhausted it's more of a
         | "whatever, they will be fine" type of response (more politely
         | of course, but that's the gist of it).
         | 
         | I feel it now too. My kids are in middle school and all their
         | friends are getting phones. All I hear about is "Everybody else
         | can do X! We're the only ones that can't."
         | 
         | I let them have stretches of unlimited game access and when I
         | saw what it was doing, took them away. After experiencing it,
         | when I explained how the games work to make them addicted and
         | the things that we saw changing in their behavior they
         | understood and at least now they take a lot of what I say more
         | seriously when I warn them. So that's a positive.
         | 
         | I have backed off on some things due to the pandemic just to
         | make it easier to play with their friends (Fortnite, Roblox,
         | etc). Previously my generally rule was "no
         | iPad/iPhone/Touchscreen games" but just about anything on the
         | Switch/Xbox was fine. I find that games that you purchase vs
         | games that are free don't have anywhere close to the same tilt
         | toward addiction, ad feeds, timed rewards, etc. I also don't
         | see the negative behaviors that came from these either.
         | 
         | Over time, their friends parents seem to be going the other
         | direction and getting more strict with the electronics, so I'm
         | hearing less "why can't we" and more "he can't play anymore
         | today".
         | 
         | Social stuff though...zero chance. None. It's a disease.
        
           | philistine wrote:
           | Let me say I don't have children of my own, and I want to
           | send you positive vibes and encouragement. Stay attentive and
           | positive with your kids, and I hope we can stop the
           | monopolists from monetizing our children.
        
             | brightball wrote:
             | Thank you
        
           | steve_adams_86 wrote:
           | > a number of parents not savvy enough
           | 
           | This is an important factor that extends into all aspects of
           | tech that I've worked around. Us tech savvy people take a
           | staggering amount of knowledge for granted, I think -
           | partially due to how technical knowledge can compound and
           | transfer so well.
           | 
           | People use the term whitelist - why not supervise kids with a
           | whitelist? I understand that idea (I've written the behaviour
           | into software), and I'd even seek it out if I wanted to
           | protect my kids. But to some people, this concept won't make
           | sense at all. They'll ask things like "Why does the phone
           | know what my kid can see?" or "How can the phone know what
           | each app/website is?" - questions that almost make no sense
           | if you know how these things work. But, that's the world we
           | live in. I personally think it's my responsibility as someone
           | privileged enough to be technical to help those who don't
           | understand. Whether it's my kids or their grandma or the
           | people I work with. Most people learn these concepts readily,
           | but they have no idea where to start or what to look for to
           | learn. It's not really their fault (not that you or anyone
           | suggested it is).
           | 
           | > games that you purchase vs games that are free don't have
           | anywhere close to the same tilt toward addiction, ad feeds,
           | timed rewards, etc
           | 
           | Absolutely, it seems analogous to watching a movie vs
           | watching T.V.
           | 
           | > Social stuff though...zero chance. None. It's a disease.
           | 
           | 100%
        
             | biztos wrote:
             | > a number of parents not savvy enough
             | 
             | I'm sure this is probably a thing overall, but I also
             | distinctly remember some extremely tech savvy friends,
             | people making their livings in tech from the 90's, using
             | iPhone with games and YouTube as an opium stick whenever
             | their 7-10 year olds wouldn't sit still in public.
             | 
             | They fought about it, so maybe it was a cultural thing, but
             | it definitely wasn't because they didn't understand the
             | mechanics of adtech.
             | 
             | I also have super techno-illiterate friends whose teenage
             | son spends maybe an hour a day online.
             | 
             | I don't pretend to know the parenting solution but my
             | anecdata suggests the tech-savvy parents are not
             | automatically better at this than their less-teched
             | counterparts.
        
               | jka wrote:
               | This is the nature of an addictive technology that has an
               | influence on peer groups.
               | 
               | If it's flashy, exciting, looks cool - other children are
               | going to want to have the same thing too.
               | 
               | In a situation like that, even if your own preference is
               | to have a quiet, slow existence for your family -- and
               | even if that's what other families want too -- the
               | environment has been altered by this external factor.
               | 
               | Adults aren't immune to these kind of peer effects
               | either, to be honest - but it's particularly pathetic for
               | multi-billion dollar companies to intentionally market
               | towards children with the hope of holding on to their
               | attention and customer data.
        
               | brightball wrote:
               | Oh, even as cautious as I am, letting a small child have
               | a tablet for a few minutes so you can have a peaceful
               | dinner conversation is absolutely a tradeoff I'd be
               | willing to make now and then.
        
               | boringg wrote:
               | I don't know you start to mess with their dopamine loops
               | at that point.
        
           | misiti3780 wrote:
           | If people are not tech-savy enough, that just means there are
           | a number of products to be built (and should be built) to
           | steam line it.
           | 
           | I remember I had email way before my parents, and now they
           | use email everyday. People can learn how to use technologies,
           | they just need the right training and simple UIs.
           | 
           | I feel for the parents that are not tech-savy, I do not feel
           | for the parents that can see how social media is having
           | negative effects of their children's brains.
        
           | datavirtue wrote:
           | " I imagine there are a number of parents not savvy enough to
           | know how to lock these things down."
           | 
           | I recently decided to start using Netgear's parental controls
           | (after many years of ignoring it) on our wifi router and
           | found that they discontinued it due to a lack of use.
        
             | datavirtue wrote:
             | Wondering why this shit community is down voting this
             | comment. It is a relevent observation about an extremely
             | common device and service related to the topic. Wtf
        
             | nitrogen wrote:
             | _discontinued it due to a lack of use._
             | 
             | ...wait, how would they know it wasn 't being used, unless
             | they were also spying on your router?
        
               | sodality2 wrote:
               | Spying has very negative connotations, it's just
               | analytics on what features are enabled or possibly based
               | on traffic of the parental control blocklists. Spying is
               | a harsh term to use. More like snooping
        
               | reaperducer wrote:
               | We put snoopers in jail.
               | 
               | "I wasn't looking in your child's bedroom window for bad
               | reasons. I was just gathering telemetry and analytics."
        
           | simplerman wrote:
           | > All I hear about is "Everybody else can do X! We're the
           | only ones that can't."
           | 
           | This is the main issue. If they don't participate in online
           | communities where their friends are, they will have
           | significant social disadvantage.
           | 
           | As a grown up, I had quit Facebook for about a year, and I
           | noticed my social life was declining slowly. Someone would
           | forget to invite me to some event. Someone might be shocked
           | that I didn't know so and had a baby. And I am sure people
           | started to label me as weirdo for not having Facebook.
           | 
           | Back to kids, yeah this is a social issue, not something that
           | one can solve alone for just their family.
        
       | lucasnortj wrote:
       | get real, all he cares about is money. if you have any social
       | media accounts you are a fool; delete them all now
        
       | pjc50 wrote:
       | .. how is the alleged instagram for children going to circumvent
       | COPPA?
       | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Children%27s_Online_Privacy_Pr...
        
         | harryh wrote:
         | COPPA allows children until 13 to share personal info. They
         | just need a parent's permission to do so.
        
       | antattack wrote:
       | On similar note, schools should not send kids to Youtube to
       | complete their assignments.
        
         | slver wrote:
         | ... Why?
        
         | tartoran wrote:
         | Yes but YouTube is similarly such a good resource for learning
         | that avoiding it does a disservice. I've seen the best
         | explanations for topics that I struggled to understand at the
         | time and they were explained so well that teachers should learn
         | from it to.
         | 
         | With YouTube the answer is moderation and it has to be taught
         | by parents, by education institutions and so on. This is also
         | valid for grown ups. One can look for information on YouTube
         | but veer onto temptation's path and sink a lot of time that
         | gets taken from something else. But a bit of meandering into
         | wherever it takes us and in moderation is great for discovering
         | new things.
        
           | threatofrain wrote:
           | Given a specific focus, you only need a few good videos from
           | YT.
           | 
           | For example, perhaps you are using Khan Academy with your
           | kids. Then you augment it with one other lecture series.
           | You're not going to augment that with yet another lecture
           | series on the same subject, are you?
           | 
           | Kids don't need access to the whole cultural tapestry that is
           | YT, they only need guidance as to the highest quality
           | resources.
        
             | tartoran wrote:
             | I agree, that is true. But I think kids should not be
             | completely be shielded from that tapestry. They should know
             | what crap is shouldn't they? There is time for kids to be
             | gullible and learn to fend for themselves.
        
           | supercanuck wrote:
           | This is completely missing the point. The teacher is doing
           | the moderation and curating a curriculum. Youtube is simply
           | the medium by which they are sharing the video which contains
           | the content.
           | 
           | YouTube is the most convenient solution to upload because of
           | he simplicity of uploading since it is integrated into pretty
           | much every hardware device.
           | 
           | This idea that parents now need to be moderating YouTube is
           | asnine. Most are struggling to simply help their kids do
           | their math homework and now we are going to require them to
           | moderate google??
           | 
           | Right now the tech companies have more information on what my
           | kids are viewing than me, unless we want a world where
           | parents are literally approving every single thing that
           | reaches their eyeballs, let's hold the platforms a
           | accountable for what they are serving up.
        
             | terracatta wrote:
             | Youtube is designed to extend engagement beyond the
             | intended initial video the user wanted to view.
             | 
             | Beyond a basic rating system with parental controls, the
             | algorithm does not care if the videos are inappropriate for
             | children. Given enough time with a child, the algorithm
             | will lead them down a rabbit hole where they eventually
             | reach strange videos portraying their favorite fictional
             | characters in vaguely sexualized situations, or videos
             | containing anti-science propaganda and/or promotion of
             | harmful conspiracy theories.
             | 
             | Allowing young children to use YouTube unsupervised is
             | demonstrably a bad idea.
        
               | supercanuck wrote:
               | Take a step back and pretend you belong to society.
               | 
               | Try explaining what you just explained to the average
               | parent.
               | 
               | You are also qualifying "Young" "children". Doesn't the
               | definition of children mean young human, so what are you
               | communicating here?
               | 
               | in the real world, we have this thing where a teacher can
               | upload an education video using two clicks of an iPhone
               | and as you said, this uncorks pandora's box of goodies
               | for kids.
               | 
               | >Given enough time with a child, the algorithm will lead
               | them down a rabbit hole where they eventually reach
               | strange videos portraying their favorite fictional
               | characters in vaguely sexualized situations, or videos
               | containing anti-science propaganda and/or promotion of
               | harmful conspiracy theories.
               | 
               | What a fantastic addition to human society! Let's leave
               | it to the parents to sort this shit out.
        
               | rimliu wrote:
               | And god forbid they will see some nipple.
        
             | antattack wrote:
             | Youtube business model is to make money of playing ads to
             | it's viewers. Recent changes to Terms of Service allows
             | Youtube to inject ads to content that has none.
             | 
             | Before kids get to their assigned video they _have to_
             | often watch an ad for a game or a service. Sometimes
             | multiple ads play throughout.
             | 
             | Also, at the end of the video kids get enticed to watch
             | more videos that Youtube wants them to see (not the teacher
             | or parent) - in order to play more ads.
        
           | sneak wrote:
           | Teachers can learn how to use youtube-dl.
        
             | jonplackett wrote:
             | Teachers should just roll their own video upload site.
        
               | justaman wrote:
               | Nearly every school (in the US anyway) has some sort of
               | online portal that kids log into to complete or submit
               | assignments that can be used to embed or host videos.
        
               | mysterydip wrote:
               | my daughter's (kindergarten) assignments are embedded
               | youtube videos. There's also "suggested videos" after
               | they play that can send her down a rabbit hole if we
               | aren't watching (we have two toddlers as well so
               | attention is divided).
        
               | hypertele-Xii wrote:
               | YouTube used to have a configuration variable in the
               | embedded player to disable these end of video
               | suggestions. Then they chose to stop respecting the
               | variable. Then they started flooding _all_ videos with
               | ads.
        
               | logifail wrote:
               | > my daughter's (kindergarten) assignments are embedded
               | youtube videos
               | 
               | My _seven year old_ has Youtube blocked on the computer
               | he uses, we saw too many rabbit holes so that was that.
               | 
               | He wants content, he comes to me, I youtube-dl it, he has
               | VLC
        
               | mysterydip wrote:
               | It's content from the school, on a tablet owned by the
               | school that I have no administrative control of. Besides
               | changing schools, I don't see many options.
        
             | samb1729 wrote:
             | This is such a HN comment
        
               | bosswipe wrote:
               | Yours is also a very HN comment these days.
        
               | easton wrote:
               | It's missing the obligatory "then throw it on a FTP
               | server for the users to access, it's not that hard to
               | secure".
        
               | marcodiego wrote:
               | Peertube, anyone?
        
               | sneak wrote:
               | These days we would throw it on a web server and provide
               | the URL to the students.
               | 
               | Expecting students to waste time sitting through Google
               | ads and tracking at school is insane to me.
        
               | cuspycode wrote:
               | It's 2021. It's really not that hard to secure these
               | days.
        
           | logifail wrote:
           | > YouTube is similarly such a good resource for learning
           | 
           | Given the insistence on being "a platform not a publisher",
           | isn't that a bit like claiming that "content written on paper
           | is a good resource for learning"?
        
             | pchristensen wrote:
             | Only if there was one primary source for paper. No numbers,
             | but it wouldn't surprise me if YouTube had orders of
             | magnitude more video than all other video sites together.
        
               | logifail wrote:
               | > it wouldn't surprise me if YouTube had orders of
               | magnitude more video than all other video sites together
               | 
               | How about quality vs. quantity?
               | 
               | If you wanted to recommend a video platform with video
               | content _where all of it is suitable for under-18s_ would
               | you really pick YouTube?
               | 
               | (Full disclosure: I have three under-18 kids)
               | 
               | I wouldn't pick YouTube. It's about signal-to-noise.
               | 
               | Just an aside: a random video of some random person
               | unwrapping something random _that happens to be
               | fascinating to small kids_ ... keeping them glued to the
               | screen, and quiet... is _not good content_
        
               | tartoran wrote:
               | Im not saying the quality ratio is higher on youtube,
               | there's a lot more garbage for sure. But it has become a
               | central hub in a way, you search for something and it's
               | likely you'll find it. Second, the content creator niche
               | has grown and went up a notch. There are a lot of self
               | made great and professionally made channels on youtube.
               | Im sure there are a lot more fantastic educational
               | resources outside youtube but youtube is pretty good if
               | you know what you're looking for
        
         | 908B64B197 wrote:
         | Sounds like a market opportunity for something like OCW but
         | pre-college.
         | 
         | Could even feature some YouTube content that's vetted by
         | teachers, re-uploaded and properly monetized of course. Uploads
         | being ultimately restricted to teachers holding credentials and
         | peer-moderated.
        
         | Der_Einzige wrote:
         | Most of the time it's as a result of the kid getting to their
         | class the first time, realizing the teacher is garbage, and
         | realizing "oh I have to teach myself all this crap" as the load
         | up videos from extremely talented indians about calculus...
        
       | MattGrommes wrote:
       | Everyone is a great parent until they have kids.
       | 
       | That's one of my favorite phrases and it always comes to mind
       | strongly when stories like this pop up on tech-heavy sites like
       | HN.
        
       | [deleted]
        
       | throwawayboise wrote:
       | Seems more like an issue for parents to manage.
       | 
       | It's hard to control what teenagers do, but young children simply
       | don't have the resources and opportunity to do things their
       | parents don't permit them to do.
        
         | tartoran wrote:
         | Ok, but for the parents who are unable or who mismanage this,
         | we all end up paying for this collectively as a society. No,
         | things that harm people need to be kept a very close eye onto.
         | Gambling is regulated to some extend and it still attracts the
         | weak willed people but at least children are not allowed in.
         | Instagram for kids is a similar thing, it captures all the
         | attention of children for profit, it primes these kids to be
         | superficial and instills a consumerist behavior creates only
         | problems down the line, we can't ignore these things or we will
         | live in a sicker society. It is never perfect but we should
         | strive to at least head in that direction. This is my opinion
         | at least.
        
         | agentdrtran wrote:
         | parents cannot fight multibillion dollar tech companies trying
         | their damndest to get to their kids alone. it's a one-sided
         | fight.
        
         | variable11 wrote:
         | Yes, parents getting destroyed by a criminally unbalanced
         | system must somehow navigate evil patterns by multi-billion
         | dollar criminal monopolies. What a genius insight, please blame
         | more victims.
        
         | staticassertion wrote:
         | That doesn't seem true. What if this were drugs? "Just leave
         | that to the parents, don't force people to stop selling to
         | kids"?
         | 
         | These days many kids have cell phones. For better or worse,
         | that's what parents are doing. I don't know why, I'm not a
         | parent and I don't know any children, but I know that as a
         | young kid a cell phone allowed me to walk home alone or with
         | another kid at an early age, so I can imagine justifications.
         | 
         | Anyway, I don't see why this should be on parents to manage, or
         | how that would be effective.
        
           | logifail wrote:
           | > These days many kids have cell phones. For better or worse,
           | that's what parents are doing. I don't know why, I'm not a
           | parent and I don't know any children, but I know that as a
           | young kid a cell phone allowed me to walk home alone or with
           | another kid at an early age, so I can imagine justifications.
           | 
           | Our 11-year old travels to school on the train. Last week he
           | set off to school on a day that (thanks to Covid19) he was
           | supposed to be doing "home schooling" (there's a rather crazy
           | timetable, he's got two [different!] days each week in
           | school, three days at week home-schooling). So, we called him
           | _on his cell phone_ :  "get off the train as soon as you can,
           | we'll come and pick you up, you need to get back home ASAP"
           | 
           | In the good old days he'd have been blissfully unaware of
           | his(our) mistake until arriving at school, at which point
           | he'd have asked an adult for help, and would (probably) come
           | home by himself.
           | 
           | I'm not convinced that kids carrying cellphones around is a
           | net benefit, but here we are...
        
           | azinman2 wrote:
           | Or poison, cigarettes, alcohol, porn, fast food...
           | 
           | There are a host of things parents have the responsibility of
           | shielding their kids from. Trying to cancel out harms in the
           | world is futile.
        
             | hnbad wrote:
             | If poison, cigarettes, alcohol and porn were explicitly
             | marketed towards children, you'd have a point there.
             | 
             | Note that cigarettes and alcohol were both implicitly and
             | explicitly marketed towards children in the past until
             | governments stepped in and there have been steps to attempt
             | to crack down on fast food.
             | 
             | > Trying to cancel out harms in the world is futile.
             | 
             | You missed the word "all" there but I don't see how that
             | statement is relevant when discussing one specific _new_
             | harm which we can literally cancel out before it sees the
             | light of day.
        
             | the-smug-one wrote:
             | Are you going to be launching cigarettes for kids tomorrow?
        
               | citruscomputing wrote:
               | You mean like Juul?
        
               | azinman2 wrote:
               | I didn't realize this was a totally separate product. I'm
               | mixed in that probably many kids are already using
               | Instagram as is... I guess I go back to parent
               | responsibility (although we probably all lose through the
               | tragedy of the commons).
        
               | LegitShady wrote:
               | So that's a yes?
        
             | foepys wrote:
             | Cigarettes, alcohol, and porn is actually regulated. In the
             | US alcohol is even so tightly regulated that they bind
             | infrastructure budgets to the legal drinking age of 21.
        
               | kube-system wrote:
               | It's so highly regulated in some parts of the US that
               | certain types of alcohol are sold exclusively by the
               | government.
        
             | quietbritishjim wrote:
             | Those are mostly examples of things that are _not_ the
             | exclusive responsibility of parents. For example, selling
             | alcohol to children (at least here in the UK) is a criminal
             | offence, not something you can just say "well it's the
             | parents' fault for not stopping them coming into my shop to
             | buy". Pre-internet, that was even true of porn. They seem
             | to support the opposite point than you make in your second
             | paragraph.
        
               | nemo44x wrote:
               | A lot of people keep alcohol, poisons, guns, knives, etc
               | in the house. It is the parents job to ensure their kids
               | don't have access to these things. You're a bad parent if
               | you don't prevent your kids from harming themselves.
        
           | montecarl wrote:
           | Seems much easier to control, influence, and parent your
           | children than to make other people stop selling drugs. The
           | USA has been losing a war on drugs for decades.
        
             | celticninja wrote:
             | Which means the people on drugs are winning.
        
             | staticassertion wrote:
             | But we're not talking about making something illegal, this
             | is a plea to not create a service specifically for
             | children.
        
             | guerrilla wrote:
             | You seriously think parents aren't trying to stop their
             | kids from doing drugs too? No, they do both. What planet
             | are you from?
        
         | aftergibson wrote:
         | Great, yet another communication channel kids need to be
         | "parented" away from at the potential cost of social isolation.
         | It must be wearying for parents.
         | 
         | Kids are resilient, but I imagine many parents don't like the
         | thought of their kid missing out on context/social interaction
         | because the lazy-parents kids let them do whatever they want.
        
           | throwaway3699 wrote:
           | > Kids are resilient, but I imagine many parents don't like
           | the thought of their kid missing out on context/social
           | interaction because the lazy-parents kids let them do
           | whatever they want.
           | 
           | (I mentioned what this was like for me growing up.)
           | 
           | Would encourage people to share some alternative paths to not
           | being excluded socially. There's always a way around these
           | platforms, but as a shy kid I never would've found them
           | without a bit of guidance.
        
           | logifail wrote:
           | > the lazy-parents kids let them do whatever they want
           | 
           | One of the kids in our 11-year-old's class lost it in the
           | class WhatsApp group last week, hurled any and all terms of
           | abuse you can think of. So our 11-year-old left the group as
           | did many of his friends, and that got reported to the school.
           | 
           | Who thinks an 11 year old can understand that saying stuff
           | online could potentially destroy your career several decades
           | hence if someone made a screenshot?
           | 
           | I'd happily enforce a minimum age 18 for use of social media.
        
         | LegitShady wrote:
         | > Seems more like an issue for parents to manage.
         | 
         | No, if something is harmful and addictive it should be
         | regulated, parents or not.
         | 
         | Instagram should not be free to get away with addicting
         | children to social media because some parents are not as
         | attentive as they should be. Children should be legally
         | protected from this predatory behaviour by tech ogilarchs
         | looking to embed themselves into the behaviour of young
         | children.
         | 
         | Why not a kid's gambling site? I mean, it seems like an issue
         | for parents to manage. Children don't have the resources so it
         | shouldn't be regulated, right?
         | 
         | It's predatory, and should be regulated, and heavily punished.
        
         | simonswords82 wrote:
         | You are making the bold assumption that all parents are
         | knowledgeable enough or give a shit enough to keep their kids
         | off of social media.
         | 
         | The kids are ultimately the ones who suffer so why not just
         | prevent the problem at the root cause by disallowing Instagram
         | for kids.
        
         | grawprog wrote:
         | >Seems more like an issue for parents to manage.
         | 
         | No, it seems like zuckerberg should justify why this needs to
         | exist. There doesn't need to be an Instagram for children. What
         | benefit to children get by having an Instagram. Why should this
         | now be an issue for parents because zuck figured he could
         | monetize children?
        
           | aeternum wrote:
           | Even he did add an age restriction, why wouldn't kids just
           | put in a fake birthday?
        
           | bko wrote:
           | In a free society, you don't need to justify why something
           | needs to exist.
        
             | vletal wrote:
             | "free" like in the "regulations are harmful" way?
        
               | AlexTWithBeard wrote:
               | "free" like not guilty until proven otherwise
        
               | imbnwa wrote:
               | That principle exists in a domain where you've already
               | been alleged of wrongdoing established by a given set of
               | laws, it just means the allegation isn't also the warrant
               | for guilt, as in a witch trial. It wasn't meant to hand-
               | waive away any kind of collective speculative concern
        
               | hnbad wrote:
               | The open letter cites plenty of sources explaining why
               | the product would be harmful to children. Convictions are
               | made on less evidence than this.
        
               | vletal wrote:
               | More of a "free" like in "you are free to behave
               | immorally"
        
             | mettamage wrote:
             | There are so many things that need justification for safety
             | reasons. All the 18+ stuff comes to mind, most notably slot
             | machines.
             | 
             | Even in a free society.
        
           | aaomidi wrote:
           | Eating disorders at even a younger age! Coming to a child
           | near you.
        
           | hk1337 wrote:
           | That could go along the same line as "an issue for parents to
           | manage". Facebook shouldn't be creating an "Instagram for
           | children", it's up to the parents to manage and monitor their
           | children's internet usage.
        
             | logifail wrote:
             | > it's up to the parents to manage and monitor their
             | children's internet usage
             | 
             | I'm happy to block/ban internet usage for my kids, can we
             | presume you happy for those in power to legislate that no
             | school can set kids any homework that requires the
             | internet/youtube to complete?
        
           | yeetman21 wrote:
           | >justify why this needs to exist wtf justify why you need to
           | exist. if people want something, others will provide it. if
           | kids don't like it then they wont have it
        
         | sharkjacobs wrote:
         | And cigarette companies should be allowed to advertise to
         | children.
         | 
         | Free capitalism is sacred and parents are the only ones who
         | should care about the wellbeing of their children. Society
         | doesn't exist and no one is responsible for the wellbeing of
         | anyone else beyond their own nuclear family.
        
         | smithza wrote:
         | We should compare and contrast to other engagement mediums
         | designed for children; i.e. Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, PBS
         | Kids, Amazon Fire Kid's edition, etc.
         | 
         | For these, excepting PBS I think, _monetary motivation is the
         | same_. More engagement equals more opportunity to show  'Baby
         | Bottle Pop commercials'.
         | 
         | One major difference is gov't _regulation over open airwaves_
         | (in America at least). There is no regulation in the app
         | /product domain. Amazon Fire and Instagram are bound to
         | whatever company moderation policies are in place at Amazon and
         | FB (and App store moderation at Apple/Google).
        
       | m1117 wrote:
       | It's the same if you ask "Please cancel kids being silly". Kids
       | will always find bad things to do.
        
         | jean_tta wrote:
         | With this reasoning you would never forbid e.g. hard drugs for
         | kids, or child labor. Kids will always bad things to do, after
         | all.
        
       ___________________________________________________________________
       (page generated 2021-04-16 22:02 UTC)