[HN Gopher] Show HN: Three Things Daily - Make gratitude a daily...
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       Show HN: Three Things Daily - Make gratitude a daily habit
        
       Author : crystalcamarao
       Score  : 103 points
       Date   : 2021-03-31 12:02 UTC (11 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (threethingsdaily.xyz)
 (TXT) w3m dump (threethingsdaily.xyz)
        
       | dhumph wrote:
       | I like the idea of this, but frankly the necessity of a login is
       | too big of a barrier for me.
        
         | npsimons wrote:
         | I've never understood dedicating a whole darn website to such
         | simple concepts. Perhaps that's why I'm not rich.
         | 
         | It's three things! Just write them down somewhere. Heck, put
         | them in a text file and check it into git.
         | 
         | I ran into a similar mindset with someone asking about BMI on
         | another forum I frequent and someone suggested a website. It's
         | two math operations! Just open the calculator on your phone
         | (yes, even flip phones have one), or _on the computer you 're
         | reading this on_.
         | 
         | ETA: For those wondering, here's the three things as I heard
         | them:                 1. Something that made you smile or
         | happy:       2. Something you are grateful for:       3.
         | Something you did well:
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | I guess part of my idea was to build a community committed to
           | practicing gratitude. Yes, it's perfectly simple to do it on
           | your own. But you'd be doing it on your own. :) Thanks for
           | sharing!
        
             | kibleopard wrote:
             | FWIW I like this idea - seeing other peoples' gratitude
             | serves as a good reminder for the things I should be
             | grateful for in my own life. Lovely app!
        
               | crystalcamarao wrote:
               | Yes it is a good reminder, isn't it. Thanks for sharing!
        
         | dhumph wrote:
         | Thinking about this more... the barrier is big for me because
         | this type of social sharing i dont find value in. for those
         | that do, i suspect that enabling them to share on platforms
         | that are more popular could be useful.
         | 
         | Or, is there value in aggregating things that people say to
         | help those who are struggling to find a reason to be grateful.
         | .. turn that into a weekly trend line. are people more grateful
         | for their health during a pandemic? are people more grateful
         | for their spouse in the summer? that sort of stuff could be
         | interesting.
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | That makes sense. Social sharing is enabled at the single
           | post page level.
           | 
           | As for the trends idea, that sounds brilliant. Will consider
           | it for the future. Thanks for sharing!
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | I understand, I was thinking of adding guest/anonymous posting
         | too. Thanks for sharing!
        
         | micdr0p wrote:
         | ditto
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | I see it is a common opinion. Will definitely look into
           | adding guest posting, thanks for sharing!
        
       | JFKKFJ wrote:
       | Interesting. Similar to this 'played by e-mail' Game of Joy:
       | https://bricioledigioia.neocities.org/index.html#ilGiocoDell...
        
       | king_magic wrote:
       | Research shows that if you list at least three things you're
       | grateful for everyday, you will significantly improve your mental
       | health.
       | 
       | Does it _really_ , or does this line just sound good? If you're
       | going to make a claim like this, you should probably link to
       | peer-reviewed research that backs this up.
        
         | floverfelt wrote:
         | As best as we know it does:
         | https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-...
        
           | neonological wrote:
           | https://www.prevention.com/life/a20434535/how-being-
           | selfish-...
        
             | crystalcamarao wrote:
             | Any particular reason you shared this? A bit confused how
             | it's relevant.
        
           | king_magic wrote:
           | That's great, exactly what I was looking for. OP should link
           | to something like this.
        
             | crystalcamarao wrote:
             | Yes, that's a very good suggestion. Thanks for sharing!
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | Thanks for sharing! Here's something I found to add to that: 
           | https://www.researchgate.net/publication/313845439_%27The_Th.
           | ..
        
         | kilroy123 wrote:
         | Mandatory, this is anecdotal...
         | 
         | I do this every morning when I wake up and have for a good year
         | or so.
         | 
         | I honestly don't notice much of a difference.
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | Sorry to hear that. Thanks for sharing!
        
           | yboris wrote:
           | Not anecdotal, please see links to research in other
           | comments.
           | 
           | Furthermore, just because something doesn't work for you,
           | doesn't mean it doesn't work for others. Additionally, unless
           | you've been keeping a log before and after you started the
           | interventions, you should be at least skeptical about the
           | difference you expect. It's entirely possible you got better,
           | adjusted to the norm, and just think you feel as good as you
           | normally do - while your "normal" is better than before.
           | 
           | Finally, the effect is more likely to be pronounced in people
           | feeling worse than average. If your life is fantastic, you
           | might not get much of a benefit from an intervention that has
           | otherwise strong effects on people.
        
             | crystalcamarao wrote:
             | Makes sense. Thanks for sharing!
        
         | wunderflix wrote:
         | I am a bit skeptic when it comes to these things. But, I have
         | been doing a 1 min "prayer" every day while taking a shower in
         | the morning. I remind myself how well I am off compared to many
         | people and what a great family I have etc. It has really helped
         | me to start the day with a calmer mind.
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | Yes, I think it does help. Thanks for sharing!
        
         | gkilmain wrote:
         | I hear what you're saying but ... have you tried it? Seems like
         | a simple enough exercise. Heck, maybe I'll try it.
        
           | BeetleB wrote:
           | I have, and I disagree.
           | 
           | Maybe it's because my outlook is generally one of being
           | grateful, so I may have already received the benefits without
           | this exercise.
           | 
           | In any case, I'd be wary of any claims like this unless
           | someone tries it for _at least 6 months_. I expect initially
           | one will get benefits but after N months it fizzles away.
        
             | crystalcamarao wrote:
             | Maybe it depends on a lot of factors. Thanks for sharing!
        
             | gkilmain wrote:
             | I'm going to give it a go with the old pencil / paper.
             | Hopefully, if it works and then fizzles away, it'll fizzle
             | because i've gained the benefit. Six months tho - might be
             | tough.
        
               | crystalcamarao wrote:
               | Good luck and thanks for sharing!
        
               | krrrh wrote:
               | I've tried it a few times when I've been in periods of
               | relative depression, either with the paper 5 minute
               | journal or with the app of the same name. The habit lasts
               | for a week and then fades away as I start to get engaged
               | in life gain. Maybe that would have happened without the
               | journaling, but it's such a low cost exercise and it
               | _feels_ like it makes a difference.
        
               | crystalcamarao wrote:
               | Yes, it does feel that way for me too. Thanks for
               | sharing!
        
         | spaceprison wrote:
         | This is anecdata but I know a lot of people that AA has worked
         | for (tens of years of sobriety) attribute a portion of their
         | success and sanity on doing a daily gratitude list.
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | That's nice to know. Thanks for sharing!
        
         | billfruit wrote:
         | Even peer reviewed research won't make me believe claims like
         | that. Experimental psychology seems a field plagued by
         | replicability crisis, and frankly I think the field is just a
         | self perpetuating paper mill for those in it, and a futile
         | pursuit.
         | 
         | Psychology in my view needs a theoritical approach. Did Freud,
         | William James etc need to do experiments with 30 graduate
         | students to study about the working of the mind, and behaviour
         | of people?.
        
           | b3kart wrote:
           | With no experimental validation my theory is as good as
           | Freud's theory for all intents and purposes. Maybe we should
           | be thinking around improving experimental methodology
           | instead? _Then_ we can try to come up with complex theories
           | and test them.
        
             | billfruit wrote:
             | Without resorting to experiments, theories can be valuable
             | in themselves, their soundness of argument, their
             | coherence, and them not leading to confounding and
             | condtradictory predictions can guide us as to their
             | validity.
             | 
             | There is value in approaching problems analytically rather
             | than resorting to empirical methods.
        
               | euthymiclabs wrote:
               | Modern psychology is heavily driven by both theory and
               | empiric techniques. The theories themselves are rich and
               | generally cohesive, but without empirical validation,
               | they are essentially bare philosophy. Of course they
               | aren't as water tight as the theories and observations of
               | physics, but if you spend any time in the core
               | psychological literature, you'll find a ton of
               | theoretical work.
        
       | KerryJones wrote:
       | Been doing this for a couple years now... I still have no idea if
       | it actually makes me happy, but I enjoy the practice of it. I
       | also write three things I accomplished in the day, no matter how
       | large or small.
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | I do that too! Most of the time my gratitude journal consists
         | of the things I accomplished that day, because I'm grateful I
         | even get things done (I have a disorder). Thanks for sharing!
        
       | Mrnothing_ wrote:
       | I the only one who feels worse than before, it like all shit,
       | sometimes life is shit. I'm not Cristian but I feel this frace
       | encapusale my feelings Mark 9:24"I do believe; help my unbelief!"
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | Sorry to hear you feel that way. :(
        
       | floverfelt wrote:
       | Hey neat! I actually made something very similar but as a Chrome
       | extension [1].
       | 
       | The issue I saw with doing this as a web app is there's nothing
       | in a web app to actually force you to do the logging. You have to
       | remember to do it which I didn't like.
       | 
       | [1] https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/three-
       | gratitudes/p...
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | Yes that makes sense, my workaround with that was a daily
         | reminder email. I'll have to test if it works though. Thanks
         | for sharing! Your app seems awesome!
        
       | thirtythree wrote:
       | What tech stack did you use?
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | Hi! I made it by mostly using no-code tools. It's built using
         | Wordpress. I used the plugins WP User Frontend Pro and Advanced
         | Custom Fields Pro.
        
           | xyzelement wrote:
           | I am grateful for all the tools available to create quick
           | websites :)
        
             | crystalcamarao wrote:
             | Yes, I am too!
        
       | mncharity wrote:
       | Fwiw, I fuzzily recall a paper some years back, which suggested
       | some benefited more from gratitude journaling weekly, rather than
       | daily.
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | I'm no expert, but will look into it. Thanks for sharing!
        
       | tppiotrowski wrote:
       | One recurring theme: people grateful to wake up for another day.
       | 
       | Definitely something I take for granted. It's good to be reminded
       | each day is a gift.
        
         | cmehdy wrote:
         | The real recurring theme is that "I", "me", or "my" ends up
         | appearing a minimum of one time per person and day.
         | 
         | After decades of severe depression, it isn't entirely
         | surprising to me that there must be an "I" to experience
         | positive things in order for gratitude to give a lasting impact
         | to the mood.
         | 
         | "I'm grateful for people who remove landmines, for talented
         | artists creating beauty in the world, for little caring
         | gestures that strangers have for each other." But this reads
         | more abstractly than when there's a person to actually
         | experience its consequences directly, and it feels very
         | different from the inside too as it holds little connection to
         | the self.
         | 
         | It's a good habit nonetheless, because if anything it is a
         | mechanical workout to cultivate a capacity for empathy (for
         | self in healthier people perhaps, but in general otherwise).
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | You make a good point! Being grateful for things that, as you
           | put it, hold little connection to us surely helps because it
           | makes us better people. Thanks for sharing!
        
         | pitspotter wrote:
         | Cotton sheets help to remind me. I don't know what people slept
         | on in history (tho I hear that heather was good) but clean
         | sheets and cotton pyjamas are fantastic.
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | Ah, that makes sense. Thanks for sharing!
        
         | loceng wrote:
         | "Is the cup half empty or half full?"
         | 
         | "Be happy you have a cup!"
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | I never thought of it that way. Thanks for sharing!
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | Hi! Yes, it's something we all take for granted. Thanks for
         | checking it out!
        
       | crystalcamarao wrote:
       | Hi,
       | 
       | Do you want to become better at being grateful?
       | 
       | I built a simple site where you can list 3 things you're grateful
       | for that day.
       | 
       | Research shows that being grateful makes you happier and
       | healthier. I want to help people be more grateful, especially
       | people who are depressed.
       | 
       | I'd appreciate your comments.
       | 
       | Thanks!
        
         | yboris wrote:
         | I also like that it's 3 rather than "list 10". There's some
         | research on this: when people try 3, it's rather easy to
         | succeed. If they try 10, they might find it hard, and if they
         | run out of "good" things to list before finishing, they may
         | erroneously conclude they have it pretty bad.
         | 
         | Psychology is rather funny - good to study it empirically! I'm
         | so thankful there are so many Ph.D. researchers who take it
         | seriously and contribute to the general knowledge by writing
         | books for the general public.
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | Great insight! I guess it's part of why it's doable as a
           | habit. As James Clear pointed out in Atomic Habits, "make it
           | easy". Thanks for sharing!
        
         | ducharmdev wrote:
         | Very minor suggestion, but using bullets and numbering is a bit
         | visually redundant. I would probably choose one or the other vs
         | both.
         | 
         | Beyond that, really fun idea. It makes me happy to see an app
         | idea with a more humanistic goal.
        
         | yboris wrote:
         | There's a lot of great research on the topic of happiness -
         | it's the field of _Positive Psychology_
         | 
         | A great "how to" book is: _The How of Happiness: A New Approach
         | to Getting the Life You Want_ by Sonja Lyubomirsky (a Ph.D.
         | researcher in the field of study) http://thehowofhappiness.com
         | -- this book shares the specific advice you share in your
         | comment.
         | 
         | A lot of great books I can recommend as well, e.g. _Stumbling
         | on Happiness_ by Daniel Gilbert and _The Happiness Hypothesis:
         | Finding Modern Truth in Ancient Wisdom_ by Jonathan Haidt.
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | Sounds interesting. Thanks for sharing! I'm adding that book
           | on Goodreads now.
        
         | danaliv wrote:
         | This is awesome. I've wanted something like this for years.
         | Thanks so much for building it.
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | Awww. Thanks for making my day!
        
       | TriNetra wrote:
       | I have used Black Lotus app [0] and on multiple occasions, its
       | novel framework called RARE (Reflect, Act, Reinforce and
       | Evaluate) has helped me come out of the stress/anxiety I'd
       | suddenly found myself trapped into.
       | 
       | There are different kinds of RARE goals depending on what you're
       | going through at the moment (stress/lack of
       | focus/mindfullness/etc) and each has its own duration (typically
       | 21 days), during which you daily perform such activities like
       | guided meditation, a guided breathing exercise, a random act of
       | kindness, reading of some wisdom article/inspiring RAK story and
       | many a times, expressing gratitude.
       | 
       | 0: https://www.blacklotus.app/
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | Sounds great! All those sound like good habits. Thanks for
         | sharing!
        
       | carols10cents wrote:
       | I've been using The Five Minute Journal [1] (on paper) for a
       | while (definitely not every day) and it has a gratitude
       | component. I do enjoy how it helps prompt me to change my
       | perspective :)
       | 
       | [1] - https://www.intelligentchange.com/products/the-five-
       | minute-j...
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | Can I ask how it prompts to change your perspective? I might
         | want to implement that. It's not clear to me based on the link
         | you gave. Thanks for sharing!
        
       | maxrev17 wrote:
       | Oh man, why oh why...
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | Care to elaborate?
        
       | haram_masala wrote:
       | My suggestion is that you gameify this. Add daily challenges,
       | unlock achievements, and compete with others using the app in
       | your area. Crush your friends at staying grateful and you get
       | exclusive skins to download for the app. Really, engagement is
       | the key.
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | I was thinking of that too. Thanks for sharing!
        
       | StacyC wrote:
       | Very nice! Gratitude is good for the soul.
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | Hi! Yes it is. Thanks for checking it out!
        
       | mensetmanusman wrote:
       | Our family's religious tradition incorporates this type of
       | communication every evening.
       | 
       | It is a delight as a parent to see how much joy it brings our
       | children when they share with others what they are thankful for.
       | It can be as simple as "blankets" and "blocks", which I have
       | witnessed and smiled about.
       | 
       | It brings me comfort knowing that our kids will have specifically
       | communicated their gratitude in this way about 5000 times prior
       | to entering high school.
       | 
       | In our area of the world, a large percentage of high school
       | students are on anti-depression medication and the rates continue
       | to rise. I hope this activity is one way to lean against that
       | trend.
        
         | sarabad2021 wrote:
         | This. We pray and give thanks as a family multiple times per
         | day. Not in an empty monotonous prayer but we all chime in
         | things and people that we're thankful for. Simple and genuine.
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | Simple and genuine is the key. Thanks for sharing!
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | That's a very good thing to teach your children. Thanks for
         | sharing!
        
       | DC1350 wrote:
       | I don't want to read what other people are grateful for because
       | it just reminds me that the things I'm missing are actually
       | important. A piece of paper and a pen works better.
        
         | crystalcamarao wrote:
         | I understand, the goal isn't to compare yourself with others
         | but to encourage each other. Thanks for sharing!
        
         | plauribre wrote:
         | I think you'd find that a slight shift in perspective on this
         | will do wonders. Try imagining that the person posting is your
         | best friend on a good day. Or your mom. Or your dog. Or
         | anyone/thing else you unconditionally hope receives good things
         | in life. That might turn some of them into _boosts_ to your
         | happiness (I want good things for person x: imagine good things
         | happening to person x = good thing for me).
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | That's a great perspective to have! Thanks for sharing!
        
         | talmr wrote:
         | Seems like the site is an outlet for gratitude. So many people
         | are practicing gratitude there!
         | 
         | Don't doomscroll through their gratitudes if that's distracting
         | for you, and if pen and paper works better for you then that's
         | amazing!
         | 
         | Goal is to just be grateful :)
        
           | DC1350 wrote:
           | It's just toxic positivity and bragging. Gratitude is useful
           | for people with bad lives to find something small to cheer
           | themselves up. It's not for healthy people who love their
           | jobs and their family to flex on the people who can't think
           | of anything better than overnight oats to be grateful for.
           | This site is not useful for anyone who actually needs help
           | and I hate it.
        
             | mensetmanusman wrote:
             | Just FYI that this post comes across quite aggressively. I
             | assume it wasn't your intention.
             | 
             | Hope you have a good day.
        
               | crystalcamarao wrote:
               | Looking at the best in everybody. Nice. Thanks for
               | sharing!
        
             | crystalcamarao wrote:
             | I don't believe it is anyone's intention to brag here.
             | Being grateful and expressing that grattitude does not
             | necessarily equate to showing off. In fact most of the
             | users use pseudonyms so if they really wanted to brag they
             | would've done so using Facebook or something. Just my 2
             | cents. Thanks for sharing!
        
           | crystalcamarao wrote:
           | Yes that makes sense. Thanks for sharing!
        
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