[HN Gopher] Identify a remarkable trait in anyone, then either c...
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Identify a remarkable trait in anyone, then either copy or avoid it
Author : laybak
Score : 72 points
Date : 2021-03-20 20:53 UTC (2 hours ago)
(HTM) web link (knowledgeartist.org)
(TXT) w3m dump (knowledgeartist.org)
| MrDrDr wrote:
| Alternatively: "Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the
| wise. Seek what they sought." - Matsuo Basho
| rahimnathwani wrote:
| From a New Yorker article about another Chinese proverb, Han Dan
| Xue Bu :
|
| "One of the best known is "Handan xue bu" ("learning to walk in
| Handan"), which refers to the story of a young man from the
| provinces who hears that the people of Handan are so
| sophisticated that they walk in a special way. He goes to Handan
| to learn, but, years later, he still hasn't mastered the gait.
| Dejected, he heads home. He finds that he can't remember his own
| way of walking, and has to crawl. The moral: don't copy others,
| or you'll lose yourself."
| m463 wrote:
| Ha, I was thinking on a different axis.
|
| "All my life I wanted to be somebody, but now I see I should
| have been more specific." - Lily Tomlin
| woko wrote:
| That was my thought as well after reading the first comment on
| this page, about identifying the roots of these traits and
| about avoiding superficial copies.
|
| It is important to try to be yourself, know your strengths and
| accept your weaknesses. Because if you don't and blindly try to
| copy others' qualities, you are likely to have a wrong and
| superficial understanding of the way these traits are acquired.
| Due to the superficial understanding, the attempt to copy the
| traits is likely to fail in some cases, and get you crawling
| desperate about how you could not achieve your target.
|
| Naturally, there is truth on both sides. Maybe the piece advice
| should have been: *be attentive* to remarkable traits in people
| around you, then *be inspired* by their good traits and try to
| avoid replicating their bad traits. The important parts are the
| self-consciousness and the effort to improve oneself.
| grenoire wrote:
| Sometimes you meet people where you just feel like you have seen
| them before... in a movie or a TV series, perhaps?
|
| Be yourself, not the _idea_ of somebody else.
| egypturnash wrote:
| Sometimes this trait turns out to be "spent a significant
| percentage of their life thinking about and doing a particular
| thing". Copying it tends to require a similar time investment, in
| my experience.
| eloop wrote:
| So I've determined Einstein had the remarkable trait of
| mathematical and physical intuituon. Also Pavarotti had a
| remarkable ability to sing. Now all I have to do is copy them,
| sweet.
| pruski wrote:
| One doesn't simply copy traits. Actions are often driven
| subconsciously by emotions and it's not always a case of choice.
| It can take ages to learn and rewire your brain.
| jedisct1 wrote:
| Copy and Clone are already traits.
| kleer001 wrote:
| I've found this happened naturally for me in terms of smaller
| mannerisms and phrases or silly voices. Nothing load bearing,
| mind. That's all hard work and self discovery.
| david-cako wrote:
| or let them keep it and love them for it :)
| nom wrote:
| 'The Master said, "When I walk along with two others, they may
| serve me as my teachers. I will select their good qualities and
| follow them, their bad qualities and avoid them.'
|
| Just googling for that proverb gave me a translation that makes
| much more sense. I don't think Confucius would imitate....
| d23 wrote:
| I'll start with the trait of vastly oversimplifying things and
| avoid it.
| yowlingcat wrote:
| Not sure if I follow the conclusion. The first half (copy it)
| makes sense -- the things that most keep me alive as a creator
| are constantly learning and selectively taking the parts I like
| from new trends and integrating them into my toolbox.
|
| But the latter point (avoid it) is pretty dangerous, in my
| opinion. I used to do that, and it resulted in me missing the
| boat in some really retrospectively stupid ways. Instead, I take
| a more neutral wait and see approach for most things, reserving
| my avoidance for things I can tell are wrong.
|
| Neutrality is important. Giving new ideas which aren't fully
| formed the space to breathe is a key part of any kind of
| innovation process. Prematurely abridging that in one direction
| or another can cause unforced errors. That doesn't mean you have
| to move slowly when you /do/ know. But it does mean that you
| should be cautious about trying to compress parts of the process
| which are fundamentally incompressible.
| interdrift wrote:
| I've done this my entire life and it's extremely useful.
| Identifying useful strategies is extremely important and in no
| way makes you artificial.
| amelius wrote:
| The moment you start using strategies to deal with someone, you
| are already artificial.
| tbalsam wrote:
| I think this is how you get highly superficial people with layers
| that don't make sense stacked on top of each other.
|
| I've done this. Don't waste your time. If you'd like to do this
| in a real way, identify the values in the other person that lead
| to that trait. Then compare it to your values. Then pretend
| you're doing it and see what fears come up along the way. Talk to
| your fears about it and see if there's a way around it -- your
| fears are a part of you after all. And they're very much able to
| engage in conversation if you push a little consciousness their
| way and bring them to more of a conversational and not trauma-
| time-all-the-time kind of place.
|
| The first approach may seem to work at first and will get you
| near and close, but not truly intimate with people. It's the
| loneliest kind of isolation and misery possible -- thinking
| you're the person that you've aspired to be, but still missing
| everything.
|
| Learn from my mistakes on this one and please, I'd absolutely
| encourage that you avoid the author's advice too, if you can help
| it! :)))) Real and silly > perfect and pristine, any day, not
| matter what or how the opinions of others strike us (much to the
| despair of the parts of us that deeply rely on others and the
| opinions of others for our own self-worth).
|
| Just my two cents! :D :))))
| m463 wrote:
| On the other hand, since you know it happens, you should set a
| good example. Especially if you're a parent because kids copy
| like parrots. :)
| PragmaticPulp wrote:
| Trying to cargo cult your way into being just like someone else
| is destined to fail.
|
| However, there's nothing wrong with genuinely following in the
| footsteps of someone who has achieved what you want to achieve.
|
| A good example is fitness: If you see a fit person, you can't
| simply capture the benefits of being fit by drinking the same
| brand of protein shakes they drink. You have to also do the
| work, going to the gym regularly and making fitness a priority
| in your life. Seeing that person as an inspiration can be a
| healthy way to pave the way to better habits, but it's still up
| to you to do the work and earn it.
| 0_____0 wrote:
| In sports especially, I've found that the people I admire
| within that discipline will readily dispense gear advice, and
| not knowing any better myself, I take their advice full and
| whole. I got into mountain biking this way. A couple years
| in, I now have formed opinions about components, know what
| kind of riding style I have etc. but it's helpful at first to
| substitute someone else's preferences for your own so that
| you don't get caught up on details when you're starting out.
| PragmaticPulp wrote:
| Advice is great, but you can't become a great mountain
| biker just by buying the right gear. Great riders on $500
| Craigslist specials will run circles around amateurs on a
| $10,000 top of the line bike.
|
| The point is that you can follow in someone's footsteps,
| but you have to do the work. You can't simply pretend to
| imitate people or their mannerisms or their gear and expect
| the same results.
| tylerhou wrote:
| But the point you are missing is that if you focus on
| doing everything "correctly" at first, you're not gonna
| get anywhere (and may do the wrong thing).
|
| Imitating other people's gear isn't "correct," but
| shipping matters more. You will do the work eventually,
| and it's better to get a little experience so you know
| the right work to do.
| runawaybottle wrote:
| It's a start though. The article failed to articulate
| inspiration.
|
| Most Instagram people start by following the template of
| showing off foods they like, then nice pictures of
| landscapes. What inspires them is the want to share their
| appreciation of the world.
|
| Fetishization is when it mutates into the template
| manifesting into vanity. That your appreciation of the world
| just turned into mostly selfies of you. Or clinically, that
| these things are 'extensions' of you, which is the laughable
| clinical explanation of narcissism. It's standard self
| absorption. The shrinks that came up with the clinical
| explanations should honestly be put in jail (DSM) for
| creating the language of demonization of an evolving
| personality.
|
| Iterative process for sure.
|
| The analogue in tech is 'behold _me_ demonstrating this
| technical how-to in a blog'. Vanity is a real problem in the
| modern world.
|
| So it brings me to that weird old saying, paraphrasing, 'the
| unexamined mind ...', as in, most of us have tremendous
| amount of self reflection left to make sense of all that we
| are absorbing.
|
| Did we really digest it into a good source of nutrients, with
| a solid chunk of shit pushed out at the end. It's almost like
| being a traffic controller in your own digestive system. The
| curse of consciousness.
|
| The longing to just be a dog, but burdened with the
| responsibility of humanity (where nothing is every thrown
| away, and nothing is ever lost on you, and that you
| accumulated it all into the faintest white tone as not to be
| noticed, but still incorporated on the white background of
| the picture).
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(page generated 2021-03-20 23:00 UTC)