[HN Gopher] Soft Skills in Engineering Leadership
       ___________________________________________________________________
        
       Soft Skills in Engineering Leadership
        
       Author : womitt
       Score  : 157 points
       Date   : 2021-02-17 11:37 UTC (9 hours ago)
        
 (HTM) web link (codingsans.com)
 (TXT) w3m dump (codingsans.com)
        
       | miccah wrote:
       | Good leaders are people who teach others to grow, progress, and
       | ultimately become their own leaders. Most managers aren't
       | incentivized to grow their engineers because it would mean losing
       | them. I find it hard to fully trust my manager because I know my
       | best interests are only partially in their mind. They also need
       | to care about the business and their own position, which usually
       | carries more weight than how I want to grow my career.
        
       | alexpotato wrote:
       | Lou Holtz [0] has a very pithy mental model for how to evaluate
       | leadership:
       | 
       | Everyone asks three questions of people leading them:
       | 
       | 1. Can I trust you?
       | 
       | 2. Do you care about me?
       | 
       | 3. Are you committed to excellence? (aka do you have high
       | standards).
       | 
       | Think about someone you admire. Odds are the answer to the above
       | for them is "yes" to all three.
       | 
       | Now think of someone you have had a lot of problems with. Odds
       | are the answers to the above are "no".
       | 
       | [0] - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lou_Holtz
        
         | hyko wrote:
         | This seems very close to the stereotype content model, which
         | asserts that every interpersonal impression is formed along two
         | dimensions: warmth and competence.
         | 
         | Feeling someone cares fits the warmth dimension; commitment to
         | excellence is a hallmark of competence. I would say the word
         | _trust_ can encompass both.
         | 
         | [0] - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stereotype_content_model
        
           | jimkleiber wrote:
           | I've often played with these concepts in my head, completely
           | oblivious that someone had coined them and developed them.
           | Thank you for linking this!
        
         | wsinks wrote:
         | I love this! And had no idea about it. Really really stellar
         | way of looking at it.
         | 
         | And for a leader, you can scale these by caring about roles and
         | what info those roles get to show trust.
         | 
         | Really cool framework as a fundamental baseline.
        
         | 29athrowaway wrote:
         | Do you share credit? Can your reports eat what they kill?
        
         | username90 wrote:
         | Here is a fourth:
         | 
         | 4. Do you delegate high visibility tasks?
         | 
         | Managers who don't do this work hard to hog all the glory,
         | spend all their time in meetings with other managers or
         | presenting to higher level people etc. It isn't good for them
         | nor their reports, by not growing the reports skills they have
         | a hard time getting to the next level as a manager. Also they
         | create a situation where they are the bus factor 1, which is
         | problematic in itself.
        
           | seekitabroad wrote:
           | A lot of times, the trouble is that it's challenging to say
           | no or delegate in the first place. We found that this works
           | for us internally for helping to drive delegation:
           | https://darja-bunch.medium.com/an-engineers-guide-to-
           | saying-...
        
           | jdgiese wrote:
           | 4 seems like it is a particular instance of 2
        
       | staysaasy wrote:
       | A lot of this post is (good!) tactical advice. I strongly agree
       | with the comment on emotional self-control. IMO this is one of
       | the top ways that managers fail or struggle, especially as their
       | teams grow or if times are hard.
       | 
       | I've thought about this a lot and wrote some more strategic
       | thoughts on this topic of management soft skills here. It's
       | written more from the perspective of hiring managers, but
       | hopefully some of the content transfers:
       | https://staysaasy.com/product/2020/09/06/soft-skills-for-man...
        
       | known wrote:
       | Protect yourself from Machiavellianism (willingness to manipulate
       | and deceive others), Narcissism (egotism and self-obsession),
       | Psychopathy (lack of remorse and empathy), Sadism (pleasure in
       | suffering of others)
        
       | asimpletune wrote:
       | I think there's a lot of great advice in here, and a useful
       | exercise is to find equivalences - or equal but alternate ways to
       | rephrase timeless advice x.
       | 
       | One such equivalence that I found to the above is to focus on
       | regarding others honestly. Often times there are barriers to
       | seeing people for who they are, so if you can focus on
       | identifying those barriers and confronting them with yourself,
       | you then have a shot at regarding others truthfully. The theory
       | goes that if you can do that, you don't need to have so much
       | managerial social engineering polish. You can just be polite and
       | honest and everything will pretty much work.
       | 
       | I have to say from personal experience that this has worked well
       | with me. In the situations that it hasn't it's been due to others
       | being caught in their own inability to regard me honestly. In
       | such a case, I don't think the smooth operating manager would
       | fare any better or worse. So basically you can't win at
       | everything, but you can worry about yourself!
        
         | afarrell wrote:
         | > regarding others honestly
         | 
         | Strong agree.
         | 
         | Example: One of your reports says something that you perceive
         | as self-deprecating.
         | 
         | It can be tempting to dismiss this as mere impostor syndrome.
         | Doing so might soothe your fear that someone you manage lacks
         | confidence but it does not serve them well as a leader. I
         | advocate instead approaching with a spirit of curiosity: What
         | about their experience drives them to that imperfect expression
         | of their professional needs?
         | 
         | Applying a technique named "Clean Questions" can help increase
         | clarity about that, if you're looking for something to google.
        
       | bovermyer wrote:
       | I highly recommend "The First-Time Manager" by Belker et al if
       | you're interested in this.
        
         | sokoloff wrote:
         | I also highly recommend "Managing Humans" to all engineering
         | leaders. No affiliation (other than happy reader).
         | 
         | https://randsinrepose.com/books/
        
       | beckingz wrote:
       | Obligatory plug for the Soft Skills Engineering podcast.
       | 
       | https://softskills.audio/
        
         | ellisv wrote:
         | Soft Skills is my new favorite podcast. I've been going through
         | all the old episodes.
        
         | interlocutor2 wrote:
         | These guys are funny and insightful. When I wrote in they
         | actually answered my question.
        
       | austincheney wrote:
       | > Most interactions are ego-based because people aren't as self-
       | aware as they could be.
       | 
       | Sad, but I have to agree. Self awareness is something people
       | develop as a natural part of maturity. It is not a skill children
       | have. For example play a board game or card game with children
       | and realize they never know when it's their turn to play despite
       | watching the game, numerous reminders, and recitation of the
       | rules. They are not self aware. That portion of the brain has not
       | developed yet.
       | 
       | It is frustrating to encounter adults lacking of self awareness
       | where a commonly expected skill of fully functional adulthood is
       | absent. In some cases that can be due to wide spectrum disorders
       | like autism but is more generally due to immaturity, the absence
       | of expected normal development.
       | 
       | Another queue into this is a false expectation of soft skills.
       | That doesn't mean being soft or kind. Soft skills are perceptual
       | skills associated is active listening and empathy, which
       | sometimes requires being a mean asshole. People with a lack of
       | self awareness tend to have a lot of challenge in this area. They
       | are not the center of the universe, sometimes fail horribly and
       | embarrassingly, and demand harsh unpleasant words. For people
       | lacking of self awareness the harsh reality of corrective
       | communication is likely poorly accepted as they either continue
       | to fail or suffer emotional trauma.
        
         | faeriechangling wrote:
         | Well this was a very pleasant post to read as an autistic
         | person. I can appearantly just have a lack of self awareness
         | completely out of my control and this is embarassing, and
         | demands harsh unpleasant words, even though this approach is
         | likely to fail and inflict emotional trauma on me.
         | 
         | "Empathy" after a social faux pas to me is kind of like a
         | blameless post mortem. Blunt yet unjudgemental with a call to
         | action and some discussion of what went right. Perhaps your
         | words are so likely to fail because because you're taking the
         | wrong approach?
        
           | loopz wrote:
           | This is more directed to those who tend to lead in every
           | social situation.
           | 
           | You might be perceived more favourably than you feel
           | yourself. Try asking people for feedback on your approach.
           | 
           | The environment is infinitely more powerful in most normal
           | cases.
        
           | austincheney wrote:
           | Usually a person with good empathy can pick up on social
           | spectral disorders after some time and factor for this in
           | their communications capabilities. This is often not a hard
           | barrier.
           | 
           | The problematic people are those that cannot self reflect AND
           | are incapable of realizing the nature of their dilemma. The
           | problem is present when a situation demands harsh words and
           | the troubled person is utterly incapable of receiving that
           | communication.
           | 
           | > Perhaps your words are so likely to fail because because
           | you're taking the wrong approach?
           | 
           | If a person commits to an action that is potentially harmful
           | they must be halted and corrected even at cost of some minor
           | embarrassment. If that person then attempts that harmful
           | action again they should be severely counseled. The harshness
           | of the words should reflect the severity of the failure.
           | Empathy doesn't mean agreement or kindness which are akin to
           | sympathy.
        
             | Person5478 wrote:
             | > Usually a person with good empathy can pick up on social
             | spectral disorders after some time and factor for this in
             | their communications capabilities. This is often not a hard
             | barrier.
             | 
             | There is no such thing as a perfect person who can do these
             | things perfectly. There is such a thing as an imperfect
             | person who BELIEVES they can.
             | 
             | It takes two to tango, and it takes a minimum of two to
             | communicate.
             | 
             | Just this morning I had a quick discussion with a woman who
             | asked me a question. When I responded with an explanation
             | she realized I misunderstood (her question was meant to
             | clarify an earlier statement of mine) and clarified, at
             | which point I realized I read it more negatively than she
             | intended. I acknowledged it and we both moved on.
             | 
             | Neither of us is super awesome or sucks, we're just two
             | people trying to get through the day. We get along
             | relatively well and this interaction neither diminishes nor
             | exemplifies either of us. It's simply the human condition.
             | 
             | Acting as if you, by yourself, can be the sole arbiter of
             | good, successful communication, is exactly why people often
             | hate "people managers".
             | 
             | > If a person commits to an action that is potentially
             | harmful they must be halted and corrected even at cost of
             | some minor embarrassment. If that person then attempts that
             | harmful action again they should be severely counseled. The
             | harshness of the words should reflect the severity of the
             | failure. Empathy doesn't mean agreement or kindness which
             | are akin to sympathy.
             | 
             | I don't agree with this either.
             | 
             | The big secret people don't want to acknowledge in terms of
             | "people skills" is that if you can't get along with people
             | who are significantly different than you, you don't
             | actually have great people skills. It's easy to get along
             | with people like yourself.
             | 
             | Time and time again I've seen a "people person" complain
             | about someone else not having people skills and being
             | difficult to work with.
             | 
             | What managers in particular need to understand is that they
             | work with people all day, which is malleable. You can walk
             | into a room and get what you want through sheer charisma
             | and willpower. But Engineers work with reality. No amount
             | of charisma and willpower will fix that bug, or keep that
             | bridge from collapsing.
             | 
             | The result of this is a fundamental difference in values
             | and worldview. The good managers recognize this and don't
             | mentally accuse an engineer of being on the spectrum (and
             | treating them differently as a result) and/or being
             | difficult to work with because they don't appreciate their
             | charisma over reality.
             | 
             | The real "secret" is to simply accept people for who they
             | are. If that Engineer doesn't appreciate your charisma as
             | much as you think they should, accept that they're trying
             | to do a good job in their world and don't hold them in a
             | negative light as a result. And don't try to manipulate
             | them either, acceptance is not manipulation.
             | 
             | As for your specific example, calling people out in front
             | of others is exactly what you DO NOT do. The better
             | approach is to let it be unless it's bad enough that it
             | needs to be dealt with. I say this because it allows the
             | other person to approach the offender themselves. If you're
             | REALLY worried about it, talk to the person it happened to
             | and see how they feel. encourage them to approach the
             | offender. If they're not the personality type to do that
             | (dislikes confrontation) THEN perhaps you can facilitate
             | that conversation.
             | 
             | In my 24 years in this industry I've only ever had a single
             | person who did not apologize profusely when approached by
             | me about something they said or how they were acting
             | towards me. The typical response is roughly "I'm sorry,
             | here's what I meant or what I was trying to do".
             | 
             | People don't set out to hurt others feelings. Oftentimes
             | it's an accident because they're valuing something else, or
             | they're in the heat of the moment. Communicate with them
             | and allow them to communicate and you can often times
             | create a better environment for everyone.
             | 
             | But calling them out in front of everyone? Not a good idea.
        
       | halfmatthalfcat wrote:
       | I've had some god awful managers in my engineering career and my
       | managerial philosophy is twofold: have empathy and keep coding.
       | 
       | Most, if not all, of my managers over the past 10 years have been
       | people managers cloaked as engineering managers who have all
       | stopped programming a decade ago. So much respect is lost for
       | managers who have turned their back on the very craft that
       | brought them into management.
       | 
       | Before the people manager crowd chimes in with "it's not my job",
       | "we have leads", etc, I want to say that it's about the principle
       | of the matter. I don't care if it's "not your job", on principle
       | you should want to keep your skills sharp in order to fully
       | relate to your supports and, if shit is on fire and you're the
       | only one around, to actually do something and fix the problem
       | instead of completely leaning on your team.
        
         | temporallobe wrote:
         | I have avoided going the management route because I have a very
         | strong fear of losing touch with the deep technical aspects of
         | software engineering, which I love and have been doing my
         | entire professional career. As a lead developer now, my role
         | has changed in that I interface more with product owners and
         | management, so I can already see that I need to delegate quite
         | a bit, which makes me feel uneasy since I want to be the one
         | doing those tasks. On top of that, as a lead I am expected to
         | know it all while also somehow delegating.
        
         | borvo wrote:
         | This. It almost seems like people who lose all interest in
         | coding/engineering/tech also lose respect for the people who do
         | it, like some weird form of guilt/shame. This doesn't make them
         | better engineering managers. You've got to keep that spark
         | alive.
        
         | watwut wrote:
         | I dont need managers to be coding. I do need them to have
         | technical background and willingness to understand what tech is
         | relevant to them - I had only bad experiences with non-
         | technical managers.
         | 
         | But I really dont understand why they should be coding. Even
         | active developers are not able to fix whatever in any module,
         | you fix only in areas you understand. When shit is on fire, I
         | dont want managers or other random developers to create a bunch
         | on hotfixes that will cause new problems.
         | 
         | I want managers to organize the project in a way that shit wont
         | burn on every release.
        
           | halfmatthalfcat wrote:
           | They should be coding because they're "engineering" managers.
           | What's the point of having engineering in your title if
           | you're not actually practicing the craft?
           | 
           | They should be coding because they'll be able to relate to
           | their supports in a deeper and more fulfilling way. They'll
           | be able to mentor and provide guidance on technology best
           | practices and patterns.
           | 
           | They should be coding because they'll be able to more
           | accurately plan and execute projects. Understanding and
           | applying the technology is understanding it's pitfalls and
           | anticipating potential upcoming challenges.
        
             | marcinzm wrote:
             | >They should be coding because they'll be able to relate to
             | their supports in a deeper and more fulfilling way.
             | 
             | That's a valid point although I've seen it go badly when a
             | mostly out of touch manager (time is finite, even the most
             | technical manager will be out of touch) thinks they're
             | still at the top of their technical game. They then force
             | out of date engineering decisions on the team.
             | 
             | >They'll be able to mentor and provide guidance on
             | technology best practices and patterns.
             | 
             | That should be done by the senior engineers and tech leads
             | with support from the manager. These are the people who
             | spend 100% of their time thinking technology while even a
             | technical manager will do it 25% of the time. The manager
             | should be the one to structure these conversations,
             | formalize mentorship processes and so on.
        
               | bluefirebrand wrote:
               | > That's a valid point although I've seen it go badly
               | when a mostly out of touch manager (time is finite, even
               | the most technical manager will be out of touch) thinks
               | they're still at the top of their technical game. They
               | then force out of date engineering decisions on the team.
               | 
               | Yes, or even worse they don't respect it when their team
               | tells them something is hard to build and will take more
               | time. You get a very "back in my day I'd put this
               | together in a weekend what's the big deal" attitude from
               | people like this.
        
             | dasil003 wrote:
             | The role where you're still hands-on on a team is sometimes
             | called a Tech Lead Manager, and there is a ceiling to this
             | role. The next step up is true Engineering Manager where
             | you have to be able to talk to engineers on other teams and
             | gather information without being familiar with their code.
             | If you rely on direct knowledge of code in all
             | circumstances you won't be able to effectively operate in
             | an organization with thousands of engineers and millions of
             | lines of code. This is super hard, and relies on deep
             | experience in the trenches (preferably 10 years+), but it
             | is the only way to solve broader organizational problems
             | that cause projects to fail, and many eng months or years
             | to be shitcanned.
        
             | throwaway3699 wrote:
             | "Engineering" is more than coding and engineering managers
             | can provide insights and value by demolishing higher-level
             | roadblocks for their IC colleagues.
        
           | dominotw wrote:
           | > need managers to be coding.
           | 
           | > understand what tech is relevant to them
           | 
           | can they really understand tech by merely reading whitepapers
           | and youtube videos?
        
         | marcinzm wrote:
         | You highlight one of the reasons it's BAD for an engineering
         | manager to still be coding or at least able to code your
         | production code. It incentivizes them to just hack things
         | themselves rather than building proper processes and structure
         | for the rest of the team (on call rotations, training, breaking
         | silos, etc.). Overall that leads to a worse engineering
         | environment rather than a better one.
        
           | halfmatthalfcat wrote:
           | I don't see where I made the connection between practicing
           | the craft and hacking together solutions.
           | 
           | If an engineering manager (presumably one who attained this
           | position because they were or are a good engineer) is going
           | to fix something, they're going to apply best practices
           | because they know what they're doing.
           | 
           | If an engineering manager was hired just because they know
           | how to manage, well then they aren't really an engineering
           | manager, are they? They're just a straight people manager and
           | in my opinion, shouldn't be managing an engineering team.
           | They should be a project manager.
        
             | waylandsmithers wrote:
             | I think the response to your original comment was more that
             | having the "Ugh, forget it I'll just fix it myself" last
             | resort option could be a crutch for a manager
        
             | marcinzm wrote:
             | Engineering skills decay with time and even the most
             | technical manager will be out of touch compared to someone
             | who spend 100% of their time on code. They also have the
             | pressure of the buck stopping with them and not having to
             | deal with the tech debt fallout which creates an incentive
             | to just hack things. Some will avoid this but most won't.
             | 
             | >presumably one who attained this position because they
             | were or are a good engineer
             | 
             | Why do you presume this? Management is a very different
             | skill set than engineering. The best engineers having to
             | become managers to advance their careers is an anti-pattern
             | which most modern tech companies avoid. Managers thus tend
             | to be average engineers who are good at people and process.
        
               | tootie wrote:
               | I was hired into a new leadership role recently. I had
               | previously worked my up at a few places and go to the
               | point where I was coding maybe 5-10% of the time at most.
               | The new role hired me for my management and strategic
               | experience since I actually have almost no experience
               | with their tech stack. Coding is coding, but I'm slightly
               | useless to them as a dev for now and I haven't committed
               | a single line so far.
        
               | halfmatthalfcat wrote:
               | They don't have to spend 100% of their time coding. Why
               | not 50%? If you spend half your 40 hours a week coding,
               | after presumably having had a career in engineering as a
               | developer in the past, coding half the time will continue
               | to support your technical knowledge well into the future.
               | 
               | I refuse to believe that managers shouldn't code. Actual
               | managerial tasks do not take up that much time. Like I
               | said in a previous comment, in my experience (as a
               | manager), managerial tasks take up maybe 20% of my time
               | per week. What's going on with the other 80%? I'd be
               | bored out of my mind if I wasn't coding as much as I
               | currently am.
        
               | marcinzm wrote:
               | I've written in another post where I spend 80% of my
               | management time. I could cut it down to 20% but then I'd
               | be building up the management version of technical debt.
               | As I see it, there's a lot of things you don't have to do
               | but doing them makes your team function better in the
               | medium and long term.
        
               | ammanley wrote:
               | Read this, and it gave me a lot of clarify and
               | appreciation for my own manager. Thank you for adding
               | this. You sound like you've got a balanced perspective on
               | the engineering manager experience.
        
               | [deleted]
        
         | dimitrios1 wrote:
         | The best engineering manager in my career was not amongst the
         | best developers I knew. (Conversely, the worst engineering
         | manager in my career was one of the best developers I knew).
         | 
         | He had two particular skills that many will never have or take
         | a decade or two to cultivate: he could provide you feedback,
         | empathetically, and make you feel like he is genuinely
         | interested in your success and improvement, and he could read a
         | room like no other, often times being the one to say the right
         | thing to break the tension in the room or ask the right
         | question to get us over a roadblock.
         | 
         | I know you aren't saying be the best or focus on coding, but if
         | I look back and had to pick between the two, I'd pick the
         | engineering manager who has cultivated the soft skills. At a
         | certain scale, all engineering problems become people problems.
        
           | temporallobe wrote:
           | You need both. And in my experience it's rare that an
           | engineer will have strong soft and hard skills. I have known
           | exactly one person with that rare combination, and he has
           | since started his own successful company.
           | 
           | Unfortunately the smartest and most component engineers I
           | have known have nearly always come across as being arrogant.
           | They have a very solid grasp of their domain and a strong
           | skillset, but they also expect everyone around them to be at
           | their level and instantly follow everything they're saying.
           | These people sometimes even have disciples who follow the
           | philosophy of arrogance and engage in gatekeeping. I have
           | concluded that while this is not ideal, it's often par for
           | the course.
           | 
           | Conversely, the best engineering leaders I have known
           | (architects, tech leads, product owners, requirements
           | analysts, etc.) have had really strong empathy and encouraged
           | healthy debate while also making everyone's input and
           | analysis feel welcome and valued. Their technical skillset is
           | not necessarily the strongest but they've usually been good
           | generalists who could talk intelligently about something at a
           | high level without having to know the technical details.
           | These people have also been able to take those arrogant
           | engineers and have gotten them to successfully collaborate
           | with everyone from the junior devs up to management. A good
           | tech leader really is just a good mediator.
        
           | halfmatthalfcat wrote:
           | That's fair but my perspective as a lowly engineer was I
           | wanted a role model to learn from and help upskill my career.
           | My people manager managers never had the skills to provide me
           | with any growth, the only reason I'm at where I am today is
           | because I decided I wanted to level up and taught myself
           | outside of work.
           | 
           | It's my goal as a manager to be that manager that I never had
           | and lead by example for my reports technically in addition to
           | the expected soft skills of a traditional people manager.
        
             | ska wrote:
             | > I wanted a role model to learn from
             | 
             | Another general comment on this theme. In my experience
             | people making the engineer to manager transition typically
             | need a mentor and guidance in management even more than
             | they ever needed a technical mentor.
        
             | kvutza wrote:
             | I guess you talk about group leaders, not project managers.
             | Group leaders are from developers, with added
             | responsibilities (and that means with added work).
        
             | marcinzm wrote:
             | A manager is only a role model if the promotion structure
             | is Engineer->Manager. At most modern tech companies that is
             | not the main promotion structure. It's Engineer->Senior
             | Engineer->Staff Engineer->Etc. Engineering management is a
             | different path you can choose just like you can become a
             | product manager but it is not the expected path.
        
               | aliston wrote:
               | Companies like to claim this, but it's not the reality
               | due to an imbalance in power between managers and IC
               | engineers. A manager controls a reports salary, career
               | progression, has more face time with VPs and so on.
               | Software engineering is unique in that ICs can still
               | scale to a similar level of impact as executives, but it
               | is a mistake to think that a Staff engineer and Manager
               | are equal in the eyes of the organization. They aren't.
        
               | majormajor wrote:
               | A title bump without the reporting structure changes to
               | go with it is just a fancy way to dress up a raise, sure,
               | but that's not the only option.
               | 
               | In companies doing this well, the high-level engineer
               | _doesn 't report to_ the immediate team lead, but reports
               | to the same director that lead does. Or VP vs director
               | for even-higher-level engineers vs higher-level managers.
               | 
               | That structure, more than the title, is what shows you if
               | you're really on an equivalent track.
        
               | ska wrote:
               | > Software engineering is unique
               | 
               | There is nothing special about software engineering as a
               | technical track this way. There is no one way to set up
               | an organization. To a large degree they are how they
               | actually work (i.e. not what's on paper).
               | 
               | This balance has been an issue in managing technical
               | teams for about as long as that has been a thing, which
               | is a lot longer than software has been a thing. There is
               | a fundamental tension though, in that the focus you need
               | to maintain expertise in your field contends with the
               | breadth you need to understand the context well enough to
               | make good decisions.
               | 
               | I suspect the real reason that you don't see more of it
               | in practice is that it's actually really hard to continue
               | to do both well at a very high level, and it's also
               | organizationally hard to do.
        
               | aliston wrote:
               | There is something special about software engineering
               | because it is fundamentally about automation. As a
               | result, an individual software engineer can create the
               | sort of impact that traditionally would require a team.
               | 
               | I'm trying to make sense of the rest of your post, but it
               | uses a lot of pronouns that don't appear to reference
               | anything.
        
               | ska wrote:
               | > fundamentally about automation.
               | 
               | I agree software has more leverage, sometimes but we are
               | talking here about how decision making power is
               | distributed in a company.
               | 
               | Regardless about how much impact the IC technical output
               | can have that is about _how_. The skills  & information
               | needed to make good decisions about _what_ and _when_ are
               | different.
               | 
               | Unfortunately, being highly effective at both requires
               | spending time and focus in ways that are somewhat
               | mutually exclusive, which makes this quite hard.
        
               | halfmatthalfcat wrote:
               | I can't say I've ever been in a company where the path
               | wasn't either:
               | 
               | Engineer -> Senior -> Principal -> Staff -> Distinguished
               | 
               | OR
               | 
               | Engineer -> Senior? -> Manager -> Senior Manager ->
               | Director
               | 
               | In both scenarios though, they've been a more senior
               | engineer.
        
               | scruple wrote:
               | I've seen people go from Engineer to Manager, skipping
               | over, for want of better phrasing, the senior engineering
               | ranks. In both cases it went poorly and a founders child
               | was involved, indirectly at first and then later
               | directly.
        
               | angrais wrote:
               | What do you mean a founders child was involved? Was that
               | the person who skipped the senior rank?
        
             | ska wrote:
             | > ... as a lowly engineer was I wanted a role model to
             | learn from and help upskill my career.
             | 
             | There is no reason this has to be your manager. Your
             | managers job was to understand that this was something you
             | needed, and find a way to try and provide it for you; it's
             | unfortunate that didn't happen for you.
             | 
             | > It's my goal as a manager to be that manager
             | 
             | Can I make a suggestion? As a manager it's important that
             | you respond to what your team actually needs, rather than
             | your perception of what you would have needed in their
             | place.
             | 
             | There are a number of ways to do this well, and a much
             | larger number of ways to mess it up.
        
             | blacktriangle wrote:
             | The thing is that role model should not be your manager, it
             | should be a senior developer. A good manager is not a role
             | model to teach you, a good manager realizes the importance
             | of lowly engineers having role models and creates a
             | structured mentorship program to make sure that need is
             | being met.
        
               | halfmatthalfcat wrote:
               | I don't understand why managers cannot fulfill both roles
               | though? The job of management isn't hard (I'm doing it).
               | Outside of the project management responsibilities, there
               | is a lot of time doing nothing. If I wasn't coding, as a
               | manager, 80% of the time I would sit around doing
               | nothing.
               | 
               | I strongly believe that managers should be able to
               | fulfill both roles but maybe it's just because I've been
               | burned by so many managers in the past.
        
               | brandall10 wrote:
               | I'm going to pile on here with the others. If you're
               | legitimately a people manager (not a low grade 'team
               | lead'), there is no way, no how, you could have 80% free
               | time.
               | 
               | I've been doing this for some 23 years and had a stint as
               | a proper manager for a year, where I spent about 20% of
               | my time coding, and I was more starved for time than just
               | about any other phase in my career.
               | 
               | I'm currently a principal eng/ arch at a mid-size medical
               | device company, and my principal eng/people manager
               | complement, perhaps one of the strongest devs I've ever
               | encountered (close to a fabled 10x dev), barely has time
               | to code at all. He's just slammed all day every day with
               | general meetings, doing 1-on-1s, presentation prep,
               | working on process improvements, Scrum/product owners for
               | backlog grooming, interfacing with other managers, etc,
               | it just kills his day for anything more than tiny bits of
               | coding here and there, and because he is such a great
               | dev, he does provide meaningful contributions.
               | 
               | I have worked at small startups where things are a bit
               | better, but I can't recall ever seeing a case where a
               | good manager has more than 1/3 of their time to code. 80%
               | dead time would mean hardly managing at all.
        
               | username90 wrote:
               | > general meetings, presentation prep, working on process
               | improvements, Scrum/product owners for backlog grooming,
               | interfacing with other managers, etc
               | 
               | You as a manager don't need to do all that. If you can't
               | delegate most of that to reports then you have a problem.
        
               | lazide wrote:
               | In most companies, once you've built or found the people
               | to delegate that too, and handed it off successfully -
               | congrats, you've demonstrated you can handle the next
               | level and you get the next round of challenges.
               | 
               | If you're sitting around with nothing to do, either
               | you're in a dead end, or no one actually trusts you with
               | more once you've 'succeeded' because you've burned too
               | many bridges or alienated key people - even if the org
               | chart looks good.
               | 
               | Of course if someone is finding themselves in that churn
               | all day for any length of time, you are quite correct -
               | they are busy not succeeding.
        
               | username90 wrote:
               | You don't delegate everything to a single person, you
               | delegate the parts to the person best fit to do it.
               | 
               | And no, delegating a lot of those tasks doesn't mean that
               | you as a manager have nothing to do. Instead you can
               | spend 20% time doing management tasks and 80% time
               | coding. Each person in the team sharing the "management"
               | burden makes it pretty manageable. (it isn't really
               | management to coordinate with other teams or present to
               | people etc though, no reason you should have a bus factor
               | of 1 for that role)
        
               | afarrell wrote:
               | Question for HN: If you were talking with someone at a
               | conference and heard him say
               | 
               | > The job of management isn't hard (I'm doing it)
               | 
               | What signals would you look for to tell the difference
               | between these two possibilities?
               | 
               | A. This person has so much tacit knowledge of good
               | management that they don't realise how much skill they
               | are applying day-to-day.
               | 
               | B. This person has zero awareness of how their team is
               | burning out underneath them.
        
               | lazide wrote:
               | I don't think I've seen it ACTUALLY be anything but B in
               | the real world, but theoretically, to answer your
               | question -
               | 
               | 1) that's interesting! What do you consider the hardest
               | people management issue you've run across? 2) what is the
               | people management problem you think most people overrate
               | in difficulty?
               | 
               | It usually will surface if they, for instance, consider
               | people management easy because they have zero emotional
               | affect and hence never bear any emotional load, or if
               | they've been bless by ignorance and don't see the work
               | their peer and senior managers are doing to avoid them
               | setting everything on fire, or never consider coaching or
               | growth of someone to be a problem - because they never do
               | it.
        
               | temporallobe wrote:
               | I have concluded that nothing is easy. Being a manager
               | (at least a good one) is definitely not easy; being a
               | good engineer is definitely not easy. They are both
               | difficult in their own district ways.
               | 
               | The most important skill to have in the workplace,
               | management or not, is humility. This absolutely does not
               | mean that you're a pushover, but it does mean that you
               | should never deceive yourself with the notion that you're
               | infallible.
        
               | theptip wrote:
               | A well formulated question!
               | 
               | I'd ask a few questions about the bits of management that
               | I think are hard.
               | 
               | How do you get your team aligned on the company's
               | priorities as they shift?
               | 
               | How do you foster growth?
               | 
               | How do you assess who needs to be promoted/given a raise?
               | 
               | How do you handle feedback for employees that aren't
               | doing well, or aren't meeting your expectations (or even
               | harder, employees who think they should be promoted but
               | you think are just solid at their current level)?
               | 
               | And the big/meta one - what do you think the job of a
               | manager is? (Could just be a semantic disconnect on what
               | the job entails).
        
               | Aeolun wrote:
               | There's also C. It's just a small, experienced team, and
               | doesn't need much management to be successful in the
               | first place.
        
               | [deleted]
        
               | bitL wrote:
               | Would you consider the possibility that you might have
               | done it wrong all the time and all your previous managers
               | taught you the wrong way?
        
               | marcinzm wrote:
               | I've been a manager for a while and at best I get 20%
               | time to code. With 8+ reports the weeks tends to break
               | down into:
               | 
               | * 20% for 1-on-1s and dealing with management level
               | issues people bring up.
               | 
               | * 20% spent on hiring
               | 
               | * 20% on various status meetings (team, cross-team, with
               | my boss, etc.)
               | 
               | * 20% spent on pro-actively finding or solving issues
               | before the explode. This includes networking with my
               | counterparts in the rest of the org so I get information
               | and build political capital.
        
               | Aeolun wrote:
               | 20% on hiring with 8 reports?
        
               | pnut wrote:
               | Engineering manager's reports are team leads, so that's
               | like 40-50 people probably. Plus any cross-discipline
               | interviewing.
        
               | marcinzm wrote:
               | Startup so quickly growing team and less recruiting
               | support. Stabler team in a large org would have less
               | hiring but more meetings.
        
               | dimitrios1 wrote:
               | >The job of management isn't hard (I'm doing it).
               | 
               | Where do you work? Sign me up! I have hardly any time to
               | code after weekly sprint-related ceremonies, 1:1's, cycle
               | planning, and architecture and code reviews.
               | 
               | The job of management, like the job of any developer,
               | varies from company to company, and situation to
               | situation. Thankfully, the people side of my job as a
               | manager is easy right now, but only because the people I
               | manage are reasonable people to work with, and well
               | receptive to feedback. It was very difficult last year
               | when I had to work through more delicate relationships
               | between the employee and employer. As always, it comes
               | down to people.
               | 
               | It also sounds like the place you may be managing at may
               | not be challenging enough for you. Perhaps it's time to
               | make a change?
        
               | dairem wrote:
               | I'm an engineering manager and find it hard to relate to
               | this. With 1:1s, ops reviews, planning, retros, design
               | reviews, support syncs, etc., I have ~6-10 hours of
               | meetings per day - then for non-meeting work I'm writing
               | roadmaps, interviewing, managing escalations, doing
               | project management, status reports, etc. How do you have
               | 80% of your time free as a manager after this? I think
               | that makes sense to code if you have that time, but my
               | experience is that having that much time available as a
               | manager would be an outlier.
        
           | Zigurd wrote:
           | Keeping current on coding, while not attempting to be the
           | _best_ coder in the building, is a key soft skill in terms of
           | participating understanding, and evaluating technical
           | decisions and problems. Empathy comes from placing yourself
           | in the other person 's shoes.
           | 
           | This is also true for communicating enterprise-wide
           | considerations to coding teams. They have to trust you not to
           | blindly push senior management priorities. If you know the
           | cost of both capital and tech debt, you are more likely to
           | have represented the coding team and influenced decisions,
           | and be able to communicate decisions effectively.
        
             | dimitrios1 wrote:
             | I am having a hard time understanding what you are saying,
             | perhaps you could restate? Coding is not a soft skill, even
             | if that is in a capacity where it's used ancillary to other
             | tasks such as the ones you mentioned.
             | 
             | I am glad you mentioned it, because communication and
             | trust, on the flip side, are soft skills. You can foster
             | trust through excellent communication and understanding
             | Where the engineering manager does not excel in a
             | particular area of expertise, he or she will defer to the
             | ones that do. A good engineering manager knows their
             | weaknesses, and how to ask for help. The good engineering
             | manager will seek to gather understanding of the technical
             | debts and use that to represent the coding team well. Again
             | communicating those decisions effectively are orthogonal to
             | that process (meaning you can communicate a _poor_ decision
             | effectively just as well as communicating a _good_ decision
             | effectively)
        
           | BurningFrog wrote:
           | That's obviously a really great manager.
           | 
           | I think they're also very rare. And that kind of
           | personality/social skills is not something most people,
           | especially engineers, have.
           | 
           | I imagine someone with such skills went on to greater things?
        
             | dimitrios1 wrote:
             | We worked together at what I can only describe as a data
             | collection meat grinder. One of those places that loves to
             | say it's all about people one side of their mouth, and act
             | completely contrary to that in the day to day when it comes
             | to chasing revenue and growth. He was met with heavy
             | resistance from senior level business directors because he
             | actually put what the company said were their principles
             | into practice every day. This burned him out a little bit,
             | so he took a break, and is now looking. You hiring?
        
               | BurningFrog wrote:
               | Sorry, we're not hiring for that role :)
               | 
               | There are _many_ places were his skills would be _very_
               | appreciated. The hard part may be to find them.
        
         | ssully wrote:
         | I would just leave it at empathy personally. I've had
         | technically minded managers, but my best manager actually
         | empathized with the issues I was having and advocated for me
         | when I needed it. She basically helped me handle non-technical
         | issues to clear the way for me to do my technical work. When I
         | needed technical help, she would assist in getting me the help
         | I could if she shouldn't provide it. If I ever end up in a
         | management position, I hope I can treat people in a similar
         | way.
        
         | tootie wrote:
         | I've struggled with the "keep coding" part. Not just because I
         | don't have time in between my other responsibilities, but
         | because my teams feel ownership over their products and have
         | all the deep knowledge it takes to build and maintain them
         | correctly. I still know how to code, but I rarely have enough
         | depth in a particular system to know the appropriate way to
         | solve something. I'm like a plucky junior dev/everyone's boss.
        
         | thdc wrote:
         | My last engineering manager came from a technical background
         | but ended up being a people manager after a decade of
         | managerial duties.
         | 
         | He was a nice guy but useless in that he could not relate with
         | problems the engineers were experiencing and advocate time to
         | fix them - kind of like a black hole for complaints. Engineers
         | by themselves had virtually no say in what they actually worked
         | on here.
         | 
         | This, coupled with a non-technical PM, meant we were constantly
         | adding features on top of a weak foundation which created
         | plenty of fires. And for each fire we were only given time to
         | wave away the smoke rather than put out the fire.
         | 
         | So I'd agree having true empathy and being able to act on it is
         | important for managers - they don't necessarily need to code
         | but they still need enough technical experience to fully relate
         | to what the engineers are doing.
        
         | yitchelle wrote:
         | If the shit hits the fan and it relies on a people manager to
         | fix the problem, I would say that the problem is more with the
         | company not having the right mitigation plan in place for this
         | catastrophic problems.
        
         | draw_down wrote:
         | Nope.
         | 
         | I don't need my manager to be a coder; I can do the coding. I
         | need my manager to fight for me in our organization and to
         | shield me and my team from various organizational BS. I don't
         | believe that any of that has anything to do with coding
         | ability.
        
         | asimpletune wrote:
         | If anything "keep coding" = empathy haha
        
         | ChrisMarshallNY wrote:
         | _> have empathy and keep coding._
         | 
         | This.
         | 
         | I worked for a company that didn't encourage managers to be
         | technical. In fact, they sometimes deliberately interfered with
         | my efforts to remain technically relevant. They really lost
         | some good stuff, that way. I'm no tech slouch.
         | 
         | Luckily, I didn't have a "shower clause" in my employment
         | contract, so I did a _lot_ of open-source work, in order to
         | remain relevant.
         | 
         | They directly benefitted from that; though they would never
         | admit it.
         | 
         | So did thousands of others. I did work for NPOs, and the work I
         | did went towards a lot of lifesaving stuff.
         | 
         | The "empathy" part is every bit as important. It pays _huge_
         | dividends, as a manager. It needs to be _real_ empathy, though;
         | not the two-faced kind that only appears when someone 's
         | watching.
        
         | gtaylor wrote:
         | I do whatever I can to best support the team. It is practically
         | never coding at this point. My team would likely end up
         | frustrated with me (and rightly so) if coding comes at the
         | expense of other things like sourcing, hiring, coaching,
         | distilling and communicating our plans, refining and scaling
         | our processes, etc.
        
       | TheBlerch wrote:
       | Ron Lichty https://ronlichty.com/ is a highly experienced
       | engineering manager based in SF and Seattle who writes, speaks
       | and trains internationally, as well as occasionally jumping into
       | teams as interim VP Engineering. I've had the pleasure of hearing
       | several of his talks in-person and he's constantly emphasizing
       | the importance of soft skills. He wrote a very helpful book on
       | the subject, Managing the Unmanageable, published by
       | Pearson/Addison-Wesley https://www.managingtheunmanageable.net/.
        
       | mlthoughts2018 wrote:
       | I discussed some related soft skill tactics in this post - for
       | the specific problem of managing technical respect for a
       | specialist team (in this case a machine learning team).
       | 
       | - https://managingml.substack.com/p/the-myth-that-machine-lear...
        
       | zerop wrote:
       | I liked managersclub as well. Interviews with real managers from
       | diverse set of companies... One thing I like most about them is
       | that they ask same questions to all managers.
        
       | 29athrowaway wrote:
       | Hard skills in eng management are underrated. If you do not have
       | hard skills, you cannot recognize talent among your developer
       | team.
       | 
       | Likewise, your developers will feel they cannot learn much from
       | you and have a meh attitude towards your advice.
        
       | zeckalpha wrote:
       | Please don't call them soft skills. If they weren't hard, there'd
       | be better leadership out there.
        
         | username90 wrote:
         | Soft skills means they are hard to measure. That is the
         | original definition. Hard skills are easy to test, you either
         | solved the problem or you didn't. With soft skills you don't
         | really know, you need to measure it subjectively.
        
           | zeckalpha wrote:
           | Some of the things mentioned in the article are easy to
           | measure.
        
         | kaoD wrote:
         | This might be just a problem on English where hard is a homonym
         | ("rigid" vs "effortful"). Notice their antonyms differ: "soft"
         | vs "easy".
        
         | Taylor_OD wrote:
         | Soft skills != easy skills.
        
       | superzadeh wrote:
       | Shameless plug for the Bunch app, this has been the most useful
       | for me so far on soft skills.
       | 
       | https://apps.apple.com/us/app/bunch-daily-leadership-coach/i...
        
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