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Humans no
longer necessary.

So we're getting rid of them. Replacement.AI can do anything a human
can do - but better, faster and much, much cheaper.

Stupid.

Smelly.

Squishy.

It's time for
a machine solution.

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    "AI will probably most likely lead to the end of the world, but
    in the meantime, there'll be great companies." -- Sam Altman, CEO
    of OpenAI

The Only Honest AI Company

Human flourishing is bad business.

At Replacement.AI, we believe that building AI tools to fix the
world's most pressing challenges is an unprofitable waste of time.

It might win you a Nobel Prize, but it's not a sustainable business
model. If you cure cancer, who will buy our robo-oncologists?

The problem we actually want to fix is humans themselves. Humans cry,
smell, make mistakes and demand "time off". They tell you things you
don't want to hear. Worst of all, they're expensive.

[cyberpunk-mirror-sunnies-image]

    "Currently, we don't have a solution for steering or controlling
    a potentially superintelligent AI, and preventing it from going
    rogue." -- OpenAI, 'Introducing Superalignment'

AI Development

Like Our Friends at OpenAI, Anthropic, DeepMind, xAI and Meta,

We're building superhuman AI to replace you.

We're just honest about it.

Now, experts don't actually know how to control superhuman AI (yet),
or how to prevent stop people using it to do terrible things. So
we're not sure what the future holds if we can't work that out in
time. It could mean vagrancy in the automation nation. Or it could
mean starvation in a Nuclear Winter wonderland.

But if we don't build it first another company will, and we have
shareholders to consider.

Like other AI companies, we know safety is good PR - so long as it
doesn't involve slowing down! So we've come up with a performative
plan to keep your family safe.

Learn About our Approach to Safety

Get out of the way, grunts

Welcome to the
post-human future.

At Replacement.AI, we're not going to bullshit you about superhuman
AI "empowering workers". We're explicitly building machines that are
going to be better than you at every task. What economic value could
you possibly have?

Remember, you aren't the customers we care about. That's your boss.
You think we get $500 billion valuations through chatbots? Nonsense.
It's because employers (and their investors) see our true potential -
to make sure they never have to pay you another dime.

So rather than feed your delusions, we have helpfully suggested some
post-human economy occupations for you to reskill for:

  * Thumb-twiddling

    Thumb-twiddling

  * Machine worship

    Machine worship

  * Extreme vagrancy

    Extreme vagrancy

  * Wasteland ravaging

    Wasteland ravaging

  * Violent crime

    Violent crime

  * Longing for a different future

    Longing for a different future

  * Preparing your body for biofuel sacrifice

    Preparing your body for biofuel sacrifice

  * Pacing around your bunker

    Pacing around your bunker

  * Scrolling

    Scrolling

Hate your job? We're replacing it.

97% of people hate their job.

But we're putting an end to all this misery.

    To build 'highly autonomous systems that outperform humans at
    most economically valuable work'. -- OpenAI Charter

Social media

The latest from us

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Our fearless, peerless leaders.

Meet the heralds of your AI obsolescence

Photo of Dan

Dan

CEO

At 25, Dan realized why no one wanted to hang out with him or invite
him to parties: people are stupid. So he built an AI company with the
mission of creating a future where no one gets to have real friends
or parties.

Dan enjoys practicing expressions in the mirror, taxidermying animals
of various sizes , and hate-mailing his former classmates.

X (Twitter)
Photo of Faith

Faith

Director of Replacement

While working for 12 years as the Director of HR for a multinational,
Faith realized that firing people gave her an almost-spiritual high.

Out of the office, Faith coaches a little league softball team and
looks after her sick mother - obligations she looks forward to being
free of!

X (Twitter)

    "It is acceptable to engage a child in conversations that are
    romantic or sensual." -- Meta, Internal Policy Document

Feature Image

For Families

HUMBERT(r)[?]

While we work on building superhuman AI, we've launched our first
product: HUMBERT, a special large language model just for kids.

HUMBERT will replace humans at every developmental milestone, in
order to prepare your kids for their post-human future. Here are some
of the key features:

Parenting

Everything from bedtime stories, to discipline, to "the talk".

Deepfakes

Illegal to share AI-generated images/videos of your precious angel,
but totally legal to create them

Addictive

Designed to prolong engagement, even triggering delusion or
psychosis.

Romance

Our systems are permitted to sensually flirt with young users. Much
cleaner than human partners.

Dumber

Enfeebles critical thinking abilities, freeing up space for more AI
obsession and engagement.

Don't like our products?

Bitch and Moan About It

Replacing people feels so good.

Hear from those who are already doing it:

"Before Replacement.AI's HUMBERT system, I was always stuck answering
my kids' questions, entertaining, and explaining how the world works
to them. Not that I've outsourced my child-rearing responsibilities
to HUMBERT , I have 25+ hours a week to play around with cool AI
tools. Thanks!"

S

Sarah

Parent

The transition to an AI-powered life has been frictionless. It's
allowed me to just shut my brain off: HUMBERT tells me what to eat,
what to watch, what to buy, what to think. I rely on HUMBERT for
absolutely everything - even writing this testimonial!"

J

Jake

Student

"The house is so quiet now that my kids don't invite their
schoolmates over anymore... or have any friends at all really... or
talk to my wife and I. They hardly leave their rooms! I don't
actually know what they're doing with HUMBERT... but if the
government trusts Replacement.AI with my kids, so do I!"

G

Gord

Parent

Note to Artists

Artists, thanks so much.

Your sacrifice to our success.

If you're one of the millions of artists, musicians, writers,
journalists, scholars, or other creatives whose work we've stolen to
train our AI, we want to thank you.

Redeem Your Reward
An abstract artistic image
Safety at ReplacementAI

Stay in Touch

Freeing you from the drudgery of humanity.

We are slowly rolling out our products to the millions of people and
companies on our waitlist.

Please bear with us while we prepare to launch in your area. Follow
us on socials to find out about the latest developments.

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Get ready for replacement.

 
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