https://whatever.scalzi.com/2025/03/13/the-church-faq/ Whatever FIX YOUR HEARTS OR DIE Menu * Home * About + A Brief Biography of John Scalzi + Availability for Interviews, Appearances, Writing Work and Optioning Existing Work + Books and Other Projects by John Scalzi + Contact Information + Guidelines for Publicity, Blurbing, Unpublished Work, Story Ideas, Social Media Boosting, Guest Blogging, Charitable Solicitations, Autographing, Educational Use and School Assignments + Scheduled Appearances + Site Disclaimer, Comment and Privacy Policy + The Canonical Bacon Page + The Scalzi Creative Sampler * Scalzi Enterprises * The Scalzi Family Foundation The Church FAQ Posted on March 13, 2025 Posted by John Scalzi 38 Comments [PXL_20230505_171319102] [WHSJohnS2] A few years ago, we bought a church building. Since then, every time I mention it online and/or on social media, someone always responds, "wait, you bought a church, what" and then asks some standard questions. At this point it makes good sense to offer up a Church FAQ to answer some of those most common questions. Let's begin! Wait, you bought a church, what? Indeed, we bought a church. Where? In our town of Bradford, Ohio. What denomination used to be there? It's the former home of Bradford's Methodist congregation. The church building itself dates back to at least 1919 (that being the year of a calendar we have that features a picture of the building). There was a congregation there until at least 2016. So they got about 100 years of use out of the building. Why did they stop using it? The congregation shrank over time, a not uncommon occurrence for mainline protestant churches these days. As I understand it the congregation merged with another congregation down the road, which has services at a different church building. I believe the West Ohio Conference of the Methodist Church (which previously owned the building) may have rented the building for a bit after the congregation left, but when we acquired the building it was not being used, which is probably why the Methodists decided to sell it. [Scalzi-cbg] So do you live there? No, we have an actual house to live in. I know old churches are frequently turned into funky residences, but reconfiguring a church to be an actual livable space on a daily basis takes a lot of effort. Our house is designed to be a residence for humans; we prefer to live in that house. Are you going to use the building as a church and/or start a cult? No and no. None of the Scalzis are particularly religious, especially in an organized fashion, and despite the actions of certain science fiction authors in the past offering precedent, I have no desire to start a cult. It seems like a lot of work and my ego does not run in the direction of needing acolytes. Coffee shop and/or bookstore and/or brewpub and/or some other retail business? I have worked hard all my life not to work in retail and don't intend to start now, thank you. Then why did you buy it? Because we wanted office space. For a number of years Krissy and I talked about starting a company to develop creative projects that were not my novels, and also to handle the licensing and merchandising of the properties that I already had that were not already under option. That company would eventually become Scalzi Enterprises. Although I write my novels at home, we wanted to have office space elsewhere. Why? Because if we eventually hired other people to help us, we wanted them to have some place to work that was not our actual house. And in a general sense it would be useful to have extra space; our house is already full with a quarter-century of us living in it. Why not get actual office space rather than a church building? We tried, but we live in a small town without a lot of commercial real estate. We looked at a couple of buildings in town that went up for sale, but weren't happy with their state of repair. We didn't want to look outside of Bradford because then there would be a commute. We wanted something within a couple of miles of our house. Eventually it looked like to get what we wanted, we would have to buy a plot of land and then build on it. I went online to look at real estate websites to see what land was available, and as it happens a couple of hours prior, the Methodists put the church building up for sale. We saw the listing, made an appointment to see it that afternoon, and put in an offer when we got home from the viewing. We closed on the building in December of 2021. What made you offer on the building? It had everything we wanted -- ample space for offices and an excellent location -- and above and beyond what we already knew we wanted, when we viewed the space we saw that it offered other opportunities as well. I always wanted an extensive library, for example, and the building had a balcony area which would be perfect for one of those. The basement area would be perfect for having gatherings, and the sanctuary area was, of course, a natural place for concerts or readings or whatever else we might want to do there. And then there was the price. How much was it? $75,000. WHAT One of my favorite things to do is show the building to people who live on the coasts, ask them how much they think it cost, and watch them get angry every time I tell them to go lower. But more seriously, we knew that we wouldn't find a better building anywhere close to us at anywhere near that price. It made absolute economic sense to get the building. Usually when you get a building like this for that amount of money, it's on the verge of falling down. Was it? Thankfully, no. Krissy's former job was as a insurance claims adjuster; she has certificates attesting to her ability to evaluate the soundness of structures. When we had our visit to the property, she literally climbed through the walls to see for herself what shape the building was in. Her determination: The building would need significant renovation, but fundamentally it was sound. We would need to put in money, but if the renovations were done right it wouldn't be a money pit. [PXL_202111] What renovations did you do? A whole new roof, to start; now the building has a 50-year roof, which means it will almost certainly outlive me. The electricity was knob and tube and had to be redone. There was an outside retaining wall that had to be torn out and redone. The aforementioned balcony was actually not safe to be on; it was cantilevered out into space with no support and had a shin-high barrier that wouldn't stop anyone from going over the side. That was fixed, and new floors and custom bookcases by a local artisan built in so I could have my library. The basement floor was redone; the kitchen space down there gutted and remodeled. We pulled up high-traffic industrial carpet glued to the sanctuary floor and reconditioned the hardwood floors underneath. New HVAC, and improved drainage for the maintenance room. The office and Sunday school room in the basement was turned into a guest suite. The structure was sealed against moisture and the walls were all replastered and repainted. And so on. None of that was cheap, nor was it done quickly; the renovations took two years. Both the time and cost were affected by the work being done during the pandemic, but no matter what it would have been a laborious and expensive process. It was worth it. Did you do any of that work yourself? Oh, hell no; I'm not competent to do anything but sign checks. We had contractors do everything, and Krissy, who had 20 years of dealing with contractors in her previous job, managed the renovation on our end. She terrified them. Are the renovations complete? The major ones, yes. There are a few things to do but they are second order tasks. I want to recondition the old pastor's study, get the organ functional again, and we want to make the sanctuary level more easily accessible via ramps and such. But all of that can be dealt with over time. At this point, most of what we wanted and needed to do is done, and we are able to use the building how we intended. [PXL_20250210_194814354-1] What did the people of Bradford think about you buying the church? By and large the response was positive. We've lived in town since 2001 so we weren't an unknown quantity; everyone here knows us. There was some concern that someone might buy the church for the land underneath it, tear it down and then put up, like, a check-cashing store or a vape shop. So when we bought it and stated our intention to renovate and maintain the building, there was some measure of communal relief. When the renovations were done we held an open house for the community so they could see what we'd done with the place. Most people seemed happy with it. Likewise, we have the intent of keeping the space a part of the community, and not just as our office space. From time to time we plan to have events there (concerts, readings) that will be free and open to the town, sponsored by the Scalzi Family Foundation (yes, we have a foundation; it's easier to do a lot of charitable things that way). The building will still be part of the civic life of Bradford. [PXL_20240717_150659567] Does this mean you are going to make the building available for event rentals? Probably not. It's one thing to offer private events, funded by our foundation, that are open to the townsfolk. It's another thing to offer the space up as a commercial venue. One, that's a lot more work for us, and two, we would have to make sure the building was up to code as rental space, which would entail more renovations and cost. We occasionally get inquiries and we've politely turned them down and are likely to continue to. There are other event spaces in town, from the community center to the local winery, and we encourage people to give them their money. But you have used it for gatherings, yes? Sure. My wife threw me a surprise party there for this blog's 25th anniversary, and when we held an eclipse party in 2024, we had the pre- and post- parties at the church. The last couple of family reunions have been held at the church, and we hold Thanksgiving and Christmas parties there as well. Having a gathering at the church is much less stressful than having it at our house. People aren't in our personal space, the pets don't freak out, and people with allergies to cats and dogs don't have to worry about sneezing. It works out great. Also, when people come to visit, they have the option of staying in the guest suite at the church instead of our more crowded (and cat hair-laden) guest room. So that's a plus too. [PXL_20231202_172250290] You said something about getting the organ functional again. Do you have, like, a pipe organ? We do, sort of. The pipes are there, but the organ hasn't been attached to it for years, possibly decades. The organ itself (which played through a speaker) is also not functioning, and I need to get in touch with someone to repair it. Actually reattaching it to the pipes and making the whole thing work again would be an extremely expensive endeavor and would probably cost as much -- if not more -- than it cost us to buy the church. Pipe organs are an expensive hobby, basically. I'm not sure I'm ready to commit to that. Does the church have a bell? And do you ring it? It does have a bell, and we ring only very occasionally. We don't want to annoy the neighbors. Is the church haunted? We have been told by former parishioners that it is, but I have not met the local ghosts yet. Perhaps they are waiting to see if I am worthy. [PXL_20241224_213739431] Isn't it a little... quirky to own a church? I mean, yes. I've noted before that now I've become a bit of a cliche, that cliche being the eccentric writer who owns a folly. Some own theaters and railways, some own Masonic temples, some own islands. I own a church. In my defense, I had a functional reason to own it, noted above, and I didn't spend a genuinely silly amount of money for it, also noted above. As a folly, it is both practical and affordable. What do you call the church now? Not "Church of the Scalzi," which is actually the name of a church in Venice, Italy. Its formal name now is "The Old Church." But for day-to-day use we just say "the church." Hey, have you ever heard of that song, "Alice's Restaurant"? Yes, I have, and everyone thinks they are being terribly clever when they reference it to me. After the first thousand times it wears a smidge thin. Is it true that your six-necked guitar now resides at the church? It is true: The Beast, as it is called, and was called long before I owned it, currently resides on the altar. It surprises people every time they see it. Are you sure you're not starting a cult? I'm sure. Besides, who would want to worship me? Krissy, maybe. Me, nah. And that's it for now. If there are more questions I think need to be in the FAQ, I'll add them as I go along. -- JS Share: * Click to share on Bluesky (Opens in new window) * Click to share on Threads (Opens in new window) * Click to share on Mastodon (Opens in new window) * Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) * Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) * Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) * Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) * Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) * Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window) * Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window) * Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) * Like this: Like Loading... Category: Uncategorized - The False Promise To Oneself To Not Buy V-Bucks The Return of the AppyHour Box - 38 Comments on "The Church FAQ" 1. [562d1]John Scalzi March 13, 2025, 7:40 pm As a quick addendum, along with the church proper, we also purchased the church rectory, which was on the same plot of land as the church, and we didn't want to have to negotiate with anyone else when it came to fixing things like the retaining wall. The rectory came with renters; there was some concern whoever bought the rectory would kick them out. We did not kick them out. We also bought the house directly north of the church property, which we then tore down to give the church a yard in the front, and to create a parking lot in the back, as the church had no on-site parking previously. This is the extent of our real estate wheelings and dealings. 2. [280c7]Rat March 13, 2025, 7:41 pm "Are you sure you're not starting a cult? I'm sure. Besides, who would want to worship me? Krissy, maybe. Me, nah." From the look of that photo, if anything it seems like someone might want to worship that guitar! :) 3. [800e9]Leah Adams March 13, 2025, 7:46 pm Now this is how you do community! I absolutely love what you've done with the church. You've made it the perfect part of all parts of your life. I am incredibly jealous that you've been able to do this, and incredibly happy that you've been able to do this. 4. [4d96e]PeggyL March 13, 2025, 7:49 pm Krissy handled this while she was still working? Good grief, Scalzi-you are the luckiest man on earth. 5. [11217]Shannon March 13, 2025, 8:31 pm I get flashbacks of the movie Alice's Restaurant. I loved that film! 6. [64e44]pjcamp March 13, 2025, 8:41 pm Is that the guitar, in between the tree and Burl Ives? 7. [7611b]Jon H March 13, 2025, 9:05 pm "I have worked hard all my life not to work in retail and don't intend to start now, thank you." You could set aside part of it as a "Big Little Library". 8. [61764]Trey Imfeld March 13, 2025, 9:45 pm Very cool. I'm jealous. Enjoy! 9. [80b34]Dana_C March 13, 2025, 10:06 pm Have you taken/posted pictures from the upstairs windows? 10. [c844c]Steve C. March 13, 2025, 10:09 pm Probably been said before, but SPACE BATTLES! PEW! PEW! PEW! 11. [2a00c]Cavyherd March 13, 2025, 10:22 pm Yes, but if it is both practical and affordable, does it really *qualify* as a folly? 12. [6f16b]Norman Carnick March 13, 2025, 11:49 pm Have you played "Under the Milky Way" there yet? 13. [62051]Niall Shapero March 14, 2025, 12:59 am I live in Los Angeles. I bought a new CAR (not a top of the line luxury beast -- a simple Honda Accord) and it cost $33k around 18 months ago. A church, with land, for only $75k? I'm not angry about that -- a little envious perhaps, but hardly angry at someone else's good fortune. When you have a bustling office, with a half-dozen or so people working for you, you'll have to post photos of the business...even if us left Coasters could never afford such in our neighborhoods, we can at least be glad that SOMEONE is able to have their own little candy shop. And we would hope to be able to peer into the window, and dream... 14. [26e82]Ty March 14, 2025, 3:03 am I'm curious how much the renovations cost? 15. [85649]Michael Fuss March 14, 2025, 4:13 am The cult of Scalzi: Instead of bread and wine it offers burritos and coke zero. 16. [85649]Michael Fuss March 14, 2025, 4:17 am One (obvious?) question: If someone would want to rent it for a secular wedding ceremony, would it be available for that? 17. [dedb6]Ralf T. Dog March 14, 2025, 4:53 am I know that you say, no event rentals, when are you having movie night? It would be perfect, with a big open space like that. I will bring the popcorn. (I do hope you are putting in a fantastic sound system.) 18. [7993c]Doug March 14, 2025, 4:53 am @ Michael Fuss, see above: Does this mean you are going to make the building available for event rentals? Probably not. It's one thing to offer private events, funded by our foundation, that are open to the townsfolk. It's another thing to offer the space up as a commercial venue. One, that's a lot more work for us, and two, we would have to make sure the building was up to code as rental space, which would entail more renovations and cost. We occasionally get inquiries and we've politely turned them down and are likely to continue to. There are other event spaces in town, from the community center to the local winery, and we encourage people to give them their money. 19. [22b7d]FreyjaRN March 14, 2025, 5:21 am I didn't bat an eyelash when you bought the church. I watch "You Live In What?" and have seen any number of people who live in churches, banks, and missile silos. You did a nice job. 20. [1fe9e]Paul March 14, 2025, 5:55 am I love that you are keeping it as part of the community. Reading about how you've tried to do this all in a way that is community minded reminded me of a recent episode of the Freakonomics podcast about Jeff Kinney, the author of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid. He's been using his wealth to help redevelop the somewhat rundown small town he moved to in a really sensitive and community minded way, trying to bring life back into it. What he's doing is very much part of the community, rather than just sticking up, as you say, vape stores and check cashing shops. He sounds like a really nice guy. 21. [bdd44]Dave Crisp March 14, 2025, 6:45 am Important additional question: Are you responsible for the "If you're looking for a sign, here it is" at the front of the church on GSV? 22. [f21c0]Richard Hershberger March 14, 2025, 6:54 am "The congregation shrank over time, a not uncommon occurrence for mainline protestant churches these days." True, but also true for Evangelical churches. The difference is that the Evangelicals have largely consolidated into megachurches. Rather than many local churches there are one or two megas that people drive to, often from considerable distances. This hides the general decline in attendance. As for the building, a solidly built brick structure can easily last centuries if it is maintained. From the description, the congregation did a solid job on the fundamentals, even as they deferred on the superficial stuff. Needing a new roof is unsurprising. It was on at least its second, if not its third roof. We know this because if it were on its first roof the place would be falling apart. Speaking of stuff they let slide, I would guess the organ was converted to electronic, oh, let's say in the 1980s or 90s. If it were more recent I would expect the converted version to still be functional, but you never know. Pipe organs, which have a gazillion moving parts and dust blowing through them, require a major overhaul every half century or so. This is startlingly expensive. The conversion to electronic is a much cheaper option, though the results are never entirely satisfactory, And come to think of it, I have heard questions about durability, so maybe that conversion was more recent. As for converting it back into a pipe organ, I suspect the cost would be considerably more than $75K. This is an extremely specialized and labor-intensive craft. 23. [2bc3e]Theodore Ts'o March 14, 2025, 8:23 am It's really not hard to get a virtual organ (which plays through a speaker) working. At my church, we had a tube-driven "electronic" organ that had started failing, so we replaced it with a virtual organ using a computer and a set of MIDI consoles using software called Hauptwerk. (There are plenty of YouTube videos and blog posts about how folks have done this.) After we had a proof of concept working using a repurposed old laptop, and some MIDI keyboards, we're taking the keyboard and organ pedals from our original organ, wired them up to a Raspberry Pi, and are using a larger desktop computer with lots of memory so we can use more sophisticated samples, so that our organ will look like a traditional organ with a wooden console. But if you just want to fool around and are looking for a new hobby, it's really not hard to get an electronic organ with a MIDI interface, hook it up to a older computer from a junk pile, and you can have something that looks sounds like the organ from the Westminister Abbey. In fact, a problem you can have is it sounds... weird.... to have an organ that sounds like it should be in a huge 15th century catheral, coming out of the speaker of some small church sanctuary. 24. [562d1]John Scalzi March 14, 2025, 8:32 am Ty: The renovations cost a small multiple of the purchase, although I'm not sure of the exact number. Theodore Ts'o, et al: Yeah, honestly I have a Roland Fantom 88 I can bring in, pop on a foot pedal midi attachment and then functionally the organ problem is solved. The idea of refurbing the pipe organ would not be one based in utility but that it would be cool. And it would be! Six figures of my money worth of cool plus ongoing maintenance? That's another question. Dave Crisp: I have put that on the sign in front of the church, yes. Currently the sign reads "Welcome to Pollen Season" 25. [85649]Michael Fuss March 14, 2025, 8:49 am Even if the renovation cost a small multiple on top, I find that extremely affordable. Apartments would cost this over here: https://www.immoscout24.ch/en/flat/buy/city-biel-bienne?o= resultingSearchablePrice-asc (1 CHF = 1.13 USD) The cheapest one is wrong and should be a "for co-rent" offer. 26. [772fb]Tom March 14, 2025, 8:52 am I love what you've done, I always think that it's a tragedy when older buildings like this just get crushed down for a Dollar General or some such nonsense. Architecture should be cherished where it can be. That being said, I want a gift shop in there that sells a "I went to church and all I got was Old Man's War" or some other funny punchline. 27. [1f25a]Timothy (TRiG) March 14, 2025, 9:25 am And Terry Pratchett, of course, wrote in an old chapel at the bottom of his garden. 28. [2a7e1]John S March 14, 2025, 9:45 am An architect writes: I hope the picture showing the altar is an old photo, because the dirty marks at the ceiling-wall join above and left of the organ look like water getting into the roofspace. 29. [a0fbf]MVS March 14, 2025, 10:09 am I visited George RR Martin's theater in Santa Fe where you and George did a talk about getting long life out of fundamental ideas. I'll never forget George's comment about the stupefying amount of mileage he's received from the simple phrase "Winter is Coming". I was impressed by the quality of the theater's restoration and somewhat off-put by the lack of venue flexibility. Your church OTOH is so flexible it approaches fluid. 30. [fbcf9]Anne Gray March 14, 2025, 10:34 am Good idea! (both the Church and the FAQ). That's great that you're going to make the main level more accessible. Speaking of the Sanctuary level, does the church still have sanctuary powers? Like from vampires and demons and immigration officials? 31. [c7f50]Zara March 14, 2025, 10:41 am This is such a cool space! Congrats (especially to Krissy!) on getting it mostly done and in such fine shape. It looks like a lovely office with excellent bonus areas. I am curious about the renovation, and would love to read a more detailed post in the future. Maybe, if they wanted to and had time, Athena could interview Krissy about it? 32. [e1b5c]Wayne March 14, 2025, 10:57 am In Oberlin, Ohio, their university is well-known for their music programs. My wife and I were married in their chapel 20 years ago, they have an amazing pipe organ and train students in the maintenance of it. You might be able to find some good expertise through their music school who could evaluate what you've got and make some good suggestions. 33. [4969c]PointlessOne March 14, 2025, 12:04 pm Rule #1 when starting a cult: never admit you're starting a cult. 34. [8f22e]Chris Snyder March 14, 2025, 12:06 pm I'm an organist. From your description, I'd guess that it's not just that the organ console has been converted to electric: it's probably a completely different organ console--a separate instrument entirely. Typically electric organs are self-contained units (other than the speakers). My guess is it's an Allen or a Rodgers? Have you explored the pipe chambers? It could just be facade pipes with no real instrument. I can't find a record of the instrument in the Organ Historical Society database, which is unusual: they're INCREDIBLY thorough, even for instruments that are no longer extant. 35. [37174]Miles Archer March 14, 2025, 12:24 pm I can't believe no one asked yet. Any church cats? As an ex-piano player, I would fix the organ and get back to playing. 36. [085ee]Aardvark Cheeselog March 14, 2025, 12:26 pm ... pulled up high-traffic industrial carpet glued to the sanctuary floor and reconditioned the hardwood floors underneath 1970s-80s mainline churches started having real issues with maintenance budgets. 37. [562d1]John Scalzi March 14, 2025, 12:45 pm Miles Archer: No church cats, we want a place for allergic friends to visit. 38. [3d78f]Catsb March 14, 2025, 2:17 pm Thanks for the church FAQs. Thanks for buying and saving the church building - it's a piece of Bradford's history that would likely have otherwise disappeared. Enjoy it. AND... That's one less corner with a dollar store! 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