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31.07.2024

digital consumption keeps me from getting better at my job

    know thyself

There is a new lifestyle imposed on almost the entire world,
willingly or unwillingly, perhaps by powerful people or by many small
people that want to be powerful, which somehow affects all ordinary
people: a consumption-oriented life. Fast consumption, constant
consumption, more consumption.

I don't have much to say about the "shopping" side of this
consumption craze because it's a topic that's been around for many
years, born out of -ism movements and studied numerous times through
-ology disciplines. It has been the subject of public service
announcements, romantic comedies, and personal development books. The
public has been constantly educated about it for years. Two guys
known as The Minimalists and some "smart" people like Marie Kondo
made a fortune out of this movement. Personally, I believe I am a
conscious consumer, and the shopping craze doesn't affect me much, so
I want to look at the other, often-discussed side of the issue.

The consumption I will discuss is digital content, information, and
emotion/thought consumption. I know there are social science studies
that delve into the intersections and background connections of all
these consumptions, but as an ordinary person, I want to talk about
the effects on my own life, particularly my professional development.

Although it has been on my mind for a long time, I haven't been able
to read a comprehensive book based on these studies (the reason being
the vicious cycle based on this topic), but I have consumed plenty of
content... I've watched various TED talks, several indie YouTuber
videos with a wholesome background, selling personal development
under the hood on their newly launched channels, and of course, read
tweets... I've also had plenty of opportunities to observe myself.

At this point I am convinced that fast consumption is harmful to the
brain, mind, and soul.

The main reason I pursue this topic is that, aside from all the side
effects in personal life, it also prevents me from being better at my
profession as a brain-worker as Jules Payot puts it.

In disciplines like software engineering, constantly improving
oneself and being in a state of continuous learning is an inevitable
process. Even if you don't put in extra effort and just try to do
your job, you have to learn a new concept or technology. If you do
put in the extra effort, you become someone who does their job
better. Since graduating from undergraduate studies (which marks
exactly one year as I write this post), putting in extra effort has
been my top priority. Working more, reading more, knowing more. In
addition to technical studies, I also read about and received advice
on soft skills related to "software crafting." One of my first
mistakes, I think, was taking every kind of advice from everyone.
Even if I didn't implement them directly, these pieces of advice took
up space in my mind, and thinking "what if that's better" prevented
me from putting any of them into practice.

The problem with online advice is that the person writing the blog
post is doing so entirely from their own perspective and lifestyle.
They have no idea about you, and you have no idea about them. There's
no guarantee that what works for them will work for you. Moreover,
you don't get a chance to question causality, you just read the
advice, consume it, and move on. It takes up space in your mind and
on your to-do list, but you don't get a chance to internalize or
filter this topic. You don't even realize that you should actually do
so.

One of the pieces of advice I took without realizing it was to
systematize the mentioned studies, work regularly, and similar. Once
that idea put in my mind, things became complicated for me. While
working full-time, I had to balance my personal life and stick to the
plan.

No matter how much your willpower sticks to the plan, your health,
developments in your life, and your brain, which sometimes refuses to
accept more information, don't always stick to the plan. When this
happens, it becomes difficult to establish the system I mentioned,
and you start looking for more advice, reading more blogs. You find
yourself in a quest for productivity, feeling productive because of
the quest, but not really doing any productive work.

Advice also has the effect of reducing creativity and problem-solving
skills. When I have a problem, technical or other, the first thing I
do is research the solution. As a result, I don't get enough chance
to think about my problem, let alone produce a solution, and I don't
fully understand the problem.

I've "consumed" what I should do and how I should do it many times
from different people. With all this information occupying my brain,
I no longer had the energy and resources to produce a tangible
output.

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Because of my profession, I like learning different concepts from
different fields. I am particularly curious about the low-level
infrastructures and systems behind high-level tools, and I am aware
of the contribution of knowing these to doing my job well. However,
because of the constant rush and haste imposed by social media in my
life, I can't devote enough time to these resources. Because I am so
used to seeing information, quickly taking it in, and moving on to
another topic. Because the short content I constantly consume,
whether written or visual, has made me accustomed to this.
While reading a technically deep book, re-reading the same page feels
like a waste of time; every piece of information I have to go over
because I couldn't understand it at once makes me feel inadequate and
late because I can't just scroll past it.

I want to know everything, immediately, quickly. Since this is not
humanly possible, I end up doing nothing.

I can't think long-term; I can't stop myself from thinking that
working on a book for 6 months, doing its projects, is a huge waste
of time for me, and because I already feel late, I find myself, yet
again, in a cycle.

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When I'm focused solely on consuming, my ability to produce naturally
decreases. I include speaking, being able to express oneself, and
having a good command of words in this context. After knowing myself
as someone who has always been good with words for years, seeing that
I can't choose the right word when speaking, or that I can't convey
the message or information I want to give more clearly and simply
when writing, naturally bothers me. Although it is said that software
development is an antisocial job, you constantly need to communicate
with people, either in writing or verbally, and you need to express
what you have done and what you will do well. I am approaching the
point of losing this skill by consuming instead of producing.

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While all this disrupts progress and confuses my mind, I also have to
deal with the physical and mental side effects of fast consumption.
Difficulty concentrating, lack of focus, inability to understand what
I read, stress, anxiety. I see these kinds of complaints from many
people lately, and in my opinion, our biggest common ground is
digital content consumption.

The relativity of time is a reality I feel to the core while doom
scrolling. Besides the lost time, there's the confusion after
realizing it and putting the phone down, trying to get my dazed mind
back to normal. And then, not finding anything to do, not being able
to putting yourself together, and reaching for the phone again.

Everyone has seen the articles about the brain's approach to social
media content, which offers a quick, easily accessible way that makes
you happy or, even if it doesn't make you happy, offers an escape
from the thing that makes you unhappy.

When you put these into words or write them down, it bothers you a
lot, but I think knowing yourself is the most important thing to do
before changing yourself. I know what I'm doing wrong, and now it's
documented in front of me. I also know what I need to work on.


We are talking about the harms, but I have always been fascinated by
the opportunities the internet offers. Being able to communicate and
chat with someone from anywhere in the world within seconds is an
invaluable blessing. It just takes a little effort to filter to see
and reach the right people's content. Otherwise, I don't think
completely withdrawing would be very beneficial in my industry and
the era I live in.

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I won't go against what I mentioned so I won't end this
problem-filled post with advice or plans. That's why I started with
the quote "know thyself." I just tried to see and make the problem
tangible. I will stop researching what I can do for a while. First, I
plan to clear my mind of clutter, quit this fast and excessive
consumption habit I have acquired without realizing it, and then
learn how to consume slowly and gradually. I have enough raw
information to discover how to do all this myself; I will now give
myself the opportunity to process it.

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Thanks for reading. If you have any feedback or would like to discuss
further, I would be happy to hear from you.
twitter | sibervepunk@gmail.com

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