https://roughlywritten.substack.com/p/let-me-repeat-that-back-to-you

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Let me repeat that back to you

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Let me repeat that back to you

Two-phase commit for humans

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Ryan O'Neill
Dec 23, 2023
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Let me repeat that back to you

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One of the most effective communications strategies I use is
repeating back, in my own words, what was just explained to me.

 
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Take this conversation:

Person A: ...explains complex technical or product concept...

Person B: "Alright, got it, I'll go get to work on that"

If you're an engineer reading this, you probably already see the
problem. Person A has no way to know if Person B actually understands
what they said. They only know that Person B thinks they understand.
In practice, they've often misunderstood something important and find
out the painful truth later.

    Person B needs to confirm their understanding by detailing the
    point back to Person A and getting that confirmation.

Person B needs to confirm their understanding by detailing the point
back to Person A and getting that confirmation. This is the second
phase of the commit.

Treat it like a checkpoint, rather than a continuation of the
discussion. Before you continue the discussion by introducing a new
idea, or presenting an opinion, stop, repeat, and confirm. Then you
can be sure you're moving forward on the same page.

Simple, effective, immediate

This simple strategy will save you so much pain, and the effects can
be immediately seen. The first time you repeat something back to
someone, only to have them correct you on something you
misunderstood...you know it's working. If you're like me, you'll find
that you catch something someone misunderstood in the vast majority
of cases.

"My Aircraft" "Your Aircraft"

When airline pilots transfer control of the plane from one pilot to
another, each must confirm the transfer to the other. The transfer is
not complete until communication of control has happened in both
directions.

In other words, this is not a novel idea, just one that we haven't
fully embraced as default in software engineering.

Isn't that awkward?

Only if you let it be. One easy way to cut through any awkwardness is
to simply let the other person know what you're doing:

    "Before we move on, let me repeat that back to you confirm that I
    am understanding everything"

You'll often find that people start doing this back to you also, when
you're the one giving the initial explanation.

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