https://www.theregister.com/2021/10/22/on_call/ [user] [user] Sign in The Register(r) -- Biting the hand that feeds IT [magn] [burg] [burg] Topics Security Off-Prem All Off-PremEdge + IoTChannelPaaS + IaaSSaaS (X) On-Prem All On-PremServersStorageNetworksHPCPersonal Tech (X) Software All SoftwareAI + MLApplicationsDatabasesDevOpsOSesVirtualization (X) Offbeat All OffbeatDebatesColumnistsScienceGeek's GuideBOFHLegalBootnotesSite NewsAbout Us (X) Vendor Voice All Vendor VoiceAdobeAmazon Web Services (AWS)Amazon Web Services (AWS) MigrationGoogle CloudGoogle Cloud's ApigeeGoogle Workspace LenovoNutanixRapid7Red hatSophosVeeamVirtru (X) Resources * Whitepapers * Webinars * Newsletters Situation Publishing * The Next Platform * Devclass * Blocks and Files Get our Weekly newsletter [front] On-Prem How to keep a support contract: Make the user think they solved the problem Look what you found! Aren't you clever! Richard Speed Fri 22 Oct 2021 // 07:45 UTC 72 comment bubble on white --------------------------------------------------------------------- 72 comment bubble on white # reddit Twitter Facebook linkedin WhatsApp email [https://www.theregis] Copy On Call Let us take a little trip back to the days before the PC, when terminals ruled supreme, to find that the more things change the more they stay the same. Welcome to On Call. Today's story comes from "Keith" (not his name) and concerns the rage of a user whose expensive terminal would crash once a day, pretty much at the same time. The terminal in question was a TAB 132/15. It was an impressive bit of kit for the time and was capable of displaying 132 characters of crisp, green text on a 15-inch CRT housed in a futuristic plastic case. Luxury for sure, unless one was the financial trader trying to use the device. [front] Once a day, at around 13:30, the terminal would hang. The user would have to reach behind it, power it off, wait a bit, and then fire it back up again. To placate the angry customer, a replacement was dispatched, and all was well. Until the problem started again. Another replacement was made. Another week or so went by with no complaints. And again, another call: the terminal was hanging. Same time. A few times a week. [front] [front] "These terminals were in the thousand-dollar range," Keith told us, so a monthly replacement cycle was not really an option. He even used one of the faulty units himself for a while and encountered no issues, which was odd in itself and, we reckon, planted a seed of suspicion. As for the customer, he was raging by this point. "He was threatening to cancel our contract for his entire firm," remembered Keith, which would hit the bottom line hard. A salesperson was sent out to see what was happening, but there was no failure. [front] A technician went out; again no failure. Was this a case of "Technician Syndrome", where a problem cannot be replicated in front of service personnel? Maybe. Keith's team were at their wit's end while the customer had hit the end of his tether and gone beyond. The solution to the problem was accidental. Keith was back on site, diagnosing an unrelated software issue, but could see the suspect terminal on the other side of the room. As he watched, the trader using the machine sat back for lunch, flipping through the pages of a financial newspaper. A phone call came through, and the trader slung the paper on top of the monitor, took the call, and then resumed work. Oblivious to the newspaper. [front] A few minutes later there was uproar. The trader had stood and was slapping the side of the terminal, yelling all manner of not-safe-for-work oaths and casting aspersions upon the good name of Keith's firm, the software, the programmers, and the computing industry in general. The cursing continued as the trader reached behind for the power switch, knocking the paper aside. Keith had his solution. But was smart enough to know that a bland presentation of facts would probably not help. Instead, he arranged for his office to call the trader and tell him that a tech was on the way to help. He waited until the trader was distracted and sauntered over. "Sure enough," said Keith, "he said he was glad to see me but launched into a tirade again about the device's many faults." He let the customer vent for a while, and surreptitiously placed the newspaper back on top over the heat vents on the terminal while pretending to examine the rear of the unit. * Scoot on over for a wheely tricky mystery with an electrifying solution * Fatal Attraction: Lovely collection, really, but it does not belong anywhere near magnetic storage media * Computer shuts down when foreman leaves the room: Ghost in the machine? Or an all-too-human bit of silliness? * Check your bits: What to do when Unix decides to make a hash of your bill printouts Now patience was needed. It wouldn't take long - the terminal had, after all, only just recovered from its last overheating episode - and Keith encouraged the trader to unload all his woes and grievances. The bug list was building as the screen suddenly flickered and locked up. "There! You see that?" exclaimed the user. Keith nodded and reached round the side of the terminal to cycle the power. Sure enough, it came back up. Keith made a show of thanking the user for showing him the elusive bug and was staging a call with a co-worker, supposedly to prepare a replacement, when the terminal locked up again. Keith wrinkled his forehead at the "mystery" before offering up an explanation. "Ah!" he exclaimed, "Did you see how that flicker started from the top and moved to the down?" Those familiar with the technology will know it was just following the raster pattern. The customer, on the other hand, did not. "That is often a sign it is overheating," said Keith, playing fast and loose with the truth, "but this office is cool?" He pretended to be mystified until the penny dropped for the trader, who unleashed yet more expletives as he realised where he'd dropped his newspaper and snatched it away from the vents. Feeling the volcanic heat spewing from the depths of the terminal, he turned to Keith, suddenly concerned: "Will it be OK?" Of course it would. It had only been overheating for a short time every day. The apologies from the customer, who had "discovered" the problem, were profuse and copious. Keith excused himself, but not before rubbing a bit more salt into the wound by telling the user he needed to cancel the burn-in process of yet another expensive replacement. As it turned out, rather than the customer cancelling the support contract, it ended up being extended. "It was a good thing I'd let him 'discover' the fault," said Keith. "If I had found it, he would have been very defensive and we still might have lost that contract." The minor bugs the user had reported while Keith had been waiting for the overheating to happen again were swiftly dealt with and the enhancement requests logged. Keith also reported back to his boss, who spent rather a lot of time laughing. "It was a good day." Ever set the stage so the customer thinks they're the hero of the hour? Or maybe you've wished all manner of unpleasantness upon your suppliers before realising the blame laid with you all along? Tell us about the time you picked up the phone with an email to On Call. (r) Get our Tech Resources #Share reddit Twitter Facebook linkedin WhatsApp email [https://www.theregis] Copy 72 Comments Similar topics * MORE * On Call * On-Call Corrections Send us news --------------------------------------------------------------------- [front] Other stories you might like * Japanese bloke collared after using AI software to uncensor smut and flogging it Plus: Explore the limits of language models in bizarre research experiment, and more Katyanna Quach Sat 23 Oct 2021 // 03:30 UTC 36 comment bubble on white In brief A man was detained in Japan for selling uncensored pornographic content that he had, in a way, depixelated using machine-learning tools. Masayuki Nakamoto, 43, was said to have made about 11 million yen ($96,000) from peddling over 10,000 processed porn clips, and was formally accused of selling ten hardcore photos for 2,300 yen ($20). He pleaded guilty to violating Japan's copyright and obscenity laws, NHK reported this month. 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