https://deadstartuptoys.com/ ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP [a637fddbe9] ---------------------------- * MSCHF DROP #50 * ---------------------------- ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP ///////// MSCHF DROP [mschf] [mschf] [cherub-ani] [cherub-ani] [juicero] [cooler] [jibo] [one-laptop] [theranos] Dead Startup Toys Toy versions of iconic failed startups Shop Now Limited Edition Toys 2016 [QEgywVsU8G] 2017 An $800 I.O.T. juicer ultimately outperformed by literally squeezing the vegetables with your bare hands. Read the full story Lifespan: 1 year Funding: $120M Add to cart $39.99 2017 [QEgywVsU8G] 2019 A $1000 "social robot", all character and no function, Jibo was instantly out-competed by the Amazon Echo. Read the full story Lifespan: 2 years Funding: $73M Add to cart $39.99 2007 [QEgywVsU8G] 2014 A $100 mini-laptop that tried to revolutionize education and ended up accomplishing... nothing. Read the full story Lifespan: 7 years Funding: $60M* Add to cart $39.99 2014 [QEgywVsU8G] 2019 An overspecced combination cooler / speaker / blender that failed to deliver so thoroughly it was investigated as fraud. Read the full story Lifespan: 5 years Funding: $14M Add to cart $39.99 2016 [QEgywVsU8G] 2018 A multibillion-dollar medical startup built upon falsified test results and flagrantly deceptive malpractice. Read the full story Lifespan: 2 years Funding: $724M Add to cart $39.99 The DST Collector's Bundle is the entire mid-2010s venture capitalist experience in one box! Read the full story Add to cart $159.99 Press [F] to pay respects to capitalism The end result of extreme competition is bizarreness If slow evolution-the accumulation of tiny changes over geologic time-is insufficient to account for all evolutionary leaps, so the theory goes, then perhaps there exist macroevolutionary jumps due to large mutations that create organisms with significant advantages over their erstwhile species. These macro-mutant organisms are dubbed Hopeful Monsters, born without kin or kind, seeking that slimmest improbable chance to thrive. This is by no means widely accepted-common criticisms point rightly to the fact that macroevolutionary mutations are almost invariably lethal, or render the mutant sterile, unable to propagate their mutation forward. This all, looking at the history of fledgling startups born from the roiling primordial soup of our VC bubble, sounds about right. Fuck Social Darwinism, but how about Corporate Goldschmidtism? A lineup of Dead Startup Toys on a shelf is the equivalent of a line of heads on stakes, or the macabre pyramids of Kublai Khan. Not exactly triumphant, given that companies fail through no real fault of our own, as consumers, but schadenfreude is a small sadism, after all. This is not a memorialization. Let Theranos burn and never taste the light of heaven. Still we are perhaps honor-bound to acknowledge the mutants, for they accomplish a certain weirding of the world that we aspire to. Dead Startup Toys are not a resurrection, to be sure, but perhaps they are a form of necromancy: we celebrate their pale shadows, deprived of their original context. Behold these beautiful mutants, hoisted on petards of their own solid-aluminum-unibody construction. We salute these voyagers, flown too close to the blood-red suns of their own fever dreams, on wings made of oh-so-flammable dollar bills, whose inexplicably sincere hopes became our most surreal entertainment... [picture-bo] Dead Startup Toys is MSCHF DROP #50 Every drop is different, and we never do the same thing twice. Download the MSCHF app to hear about future drops. Support Terms