Memoir of Sydney Smith
, 4th edition, vol. i. p.
440).
A reminiscence of Sheridan's
Trip to Scarborough
(act v. sc. 2), itself borrowed from Vanbrugh's
Relapse
(act iv.
sc. 6), in both of which passages Lord Foppington says, "Strike me dumb,
Tam, thou art a very impudent fellow."
The following is the letter to which Byron refers:
Albany, Monday, August 31, 1813.
"My Dear Byron,—You have requested me to tell you all that I heard at
Athens about the affair of that girl who was so near being put an end
to while you were there; you have asked me to remember every
circumstance, in the remotest degree relating to it, which I heard. In
compliance with your wishes, I write to you all I heard, and I cannot
imagine it to be very far from the fact, as the circumstances happened
only a day or two before I arrived at Athens, and, consequently, was a
matter of common conversation at the time.
"The new governor, unaccustomed to have the same intercourse with the
Christians as his predecessor, had, of course, the barbarous Turkish
ideas with regard to women. In consequence, and in compliance with the
strict letter of the Mohammedan law, he ordered this girl to be sewed
up in a sack, and thrown into the sea—as is, indeed, quite customary
at Constantinople. As you were returning from bathing in the Piræus,
you met the procession going down to execute the sentence of the
Waywode on this unhappy girl. Report continues to say, that on finding
out what the object of their journey was, and who was the miserable
sufferer, you immediately interfered; and on some delay in obeying
your orders, you were obliged to inform the leader of the escort that
force should make him comply; that, on further hesitation, you drew a
pistol, and told him, that if he did not immediately obey your orders,
and come back with you to the Aga's house, you would shoot him dead.
On this the man turned about and went with you to the governor's
house; here you succeeded, partly by personal threats, and partly by
bribery and entreaty, in procuring her pardon, on condition of her
leaving Athens. I was told that you then conveyed her in safety to the
convent, and despatched her off at night to Thebes, where she found a
safe asylum. Such is the story I heard, as nearly as I can recollect
it at present. Should you wish to ask me any further questions about
it, I shall be very ready and willing to answer them.
I remain, my dear Byron,
Yours very sincerely,
Sligo.
List of Letters
Contents
September 2nd, 1813.
My dear Webster,—
are just the same generous and I fear careless
gentleman of the years of
indifferent
memory 1806—but I
must not burthen you with my entire household. Joe
is, I believe,
necessary for the present as a fixture, to keep possession till every
thing is arranged; and were it otherwise, you don't know what a
perplexity he would prove—honest and faithful, but fearfully
superannuated: now
this
I ought and do bear, but as he has not
been fifty years in your family, it would be rather hard to convert your
mansion into a hospital for decayed domestics. Rushton is, or may be
made useful, and I am less
compunctious
on his account.
"
I be Godfather?"
Yea, verily! I believe it is the only species of parentage I shall ever
encounter, for all my acquaintance, Powerscourt, Jocelyn, yourself,
Delawarr, Stanhope, with a long list of happy
etceteras
, are
married; most of them my juniors too, and I as single and likely to
remain so as, nay more than, if I were seventy.
If it is a
girl
why not also? Georgina, or even
Byron
will
make a classical name for a spinster, if Mr. Richardson's
Sir Charles
Grandison
is any authority in your estimation.
My ship is not settled. My passage in the
Boyne
was only for
one
Servant, and would not do, of course. You ask after the
expense, a question no less interesting to the married than the single.
Unless things are much altered, no establishment in the Mediterranean
Countries could amount to the quarter of the expenditure requisite in
England for the same or an inferior household.
I am interrupted, and have only time to offer my best thanks for all
your good wishes and intentions, and to beg you will believe me,
Equally yours ever,
B.
P.S.—Rushton shall be sent on Saturday next.
Joseph Murray
Webster's eldest son was christened "Byron Wedderburn." He
died young, and when his father told Byron of the child's death, the
godfather
"almost chuckled with joy or irony," and said, "Well, I cautioned you,
and told you that my name would almost damn any thing or creature."
(
MS. note
by Wedderburn Webster.)
List of Letters
Contents
Sept. 5, 1813.
You need not tie yourself down to a day with Toderini, but send him at
your leisure, having anatomised him into such annotations as you want; I
do not believe that he has ever undergone that process before, which is
the best reason for not sparing him now.
has returned to town, but not yet recovered of the
Quarterly
. What fellows these reviewers are! "these bugs do fear
us all."
They made you fight, and me (the milkiest of men) a satirist, and will
end by making Rogers madder than Ajax. I
been reading
Memory
again, the other day, and
Hope
together, and retain all my
preference of the former
.
His elegance is really wonderful—there is no such thing as a vulgar
line in his book.
What say you to Buonaparte? Remember, I back him against the field,
barring catalepsy and the Elements. Nay, I almost wish him success
against all countries but this,—were it only to choke the
Morning
Post
, and his undutiful father-in-law, with that rebellious bastard
of Scandinavian adoption, Bernadotte. Rogers wants me to go with him on
a crusade to the Lakes, and to besiege you on our way. This last is a
great temptation, but I fear it will not be in my power, unless you
would go on with one of us somewhere—no matter where. It is too late
for Matlock, but we might hit upon some scheme, high life or low,—the
last would be much the best for amusement. I
so sick of the other,
that I quite sigh for a cider-cellar
, or a cruise in a smuggler's
sloop.
You cannot wish more than I do that the Fates were a little more
accommodating to our parallel lines, which prolong
ad infinitum
without coming a jot nearer. I almost wish I were married, too—which is
saying much. All my friends, seniors and juniors, are in for it, and ask
me to be godfather,—the only species of parentage which, I believe,
will ever come to my share in a lawful way; and, in an unlawful one, by
the blessing of Lucina, we can never be certain,—though the parish may.
I suppose I shall hear from you to-morrow. If not, this goes as it is;
but I leave room for a P.S., in case any thing requires an answer.
Ever, etc.
No letter—
n'importe
. Rogers thinks the
Quarterly
will be
at
me
this time; if so, it shall be a war of extermination—no
quarter
. From the youngest devil down to the oldest woman of that
review, all shall perish by one fatal lampoon. The ties of nature shall
be torn asunder, for I will not even spare my bookseller; nay, if one
were to include readers also, all the better.
"Warwick was a bug that feared us all" (
Henry VI
.,
Part III. act v. se. 2).
Byron quoted to Lady Blessington "some passages from the
Pleasures of Hope
, which he said was a poem full of beauties...
'The
Pleasures of Memory
is a very beautiful poem' (said Byron),
'harmonious, finished, and chaste; it contains not a single meretricious
ornament'" (
Conversations
, pp. 352, 353).
No. 20, Maiden Lane, Covent Garden, was a tavern called the
Cider Cellars
. Over the entrance was the motto,
Honos erit
huic quoque homo
, supplied by Porson, who frequented the house.
There Lord Campbell heard him "recite from memory to delighted listeners
the whole of Anstey's
Pleader's Guide
" (
Lives of the Chief
Justices
, vol. iii. p. 271, note). Mr. Wheatley, in
London Past
and Present, sub voce
"Maiden Lane," says that the
"tavern continued to be frequented by young men, and 'much in vogue
for devilled kidneys, oysters, and Welch rabbits, cigars, "goes" of
brandy, and great supplies of London stout' (also for comic songs),
till it was absorbed in the extensions of the Adelphi Theatre."
List of Letters
Contents
September 8, 1813.
I am sorry to see Toderini again so soon, for fear your scrupulous
conscience should have prevented you from fully availing yourself of his
spoils. By this coach I send you a copy of that awful pamphlet
The
Giaour
, which has never procured me half so high a compliment as
your modest alarm. You will (if inclined in an evening) perceive that I
have added much in quantity,—a circumstance which may truly diminish
your modesty upon the subject.
You stand certainly in great need of a "lift" with Mackintosh. My dear
Moore, you strangely under-rate yourself. I should conceive it an
affectation in any other; but I think I know you well enough to believe
that you don't know your own value. However, 'tis a fault that generally
mends; and, in your case, it really ought. I have heard him speak of you
as highly as your wife could wish; and enough to give all your friends
the jaundice.
I had a letter from
Ali Pacha!
brought by Dr. Holland,
who is just returned from Albania
. It is in Latin, and begins
"Excellentissime
nec non
Carissime," and ends about a gun he
wants made for him;—it is signed "Ali Vizir." What do you think he has
been about? H.
me that, last spring, he took a hostile town,
where, forty-two years ago, his mother and sisters were treated as Miss
Cunigunde
was by the Bulgarian cavalry. He takes the town, selects
all the survivors of this exploit—children, grandchildren, etc. to the
tune of six hundred, and has them shot before his face.
, he
spared the rest of the city, and confined himself to the Tarquin
pedigree
,—which is more than I would. So much for "dearest friend."
See
Letters
, vol. i. p. 246 [Letter 131], and
note
[Footnote 1 of Letter 131]. Dr.,
afterwards Sir Henry, Holland (1788-1873) published his
Travels in
the Ionian Islands, Albania, etc.
, in 1815.
Voltaire's
Candide
, ch. vii.:
"On ne vous a done pas violé? on ne vous a point fendu le ventre,
comme le philosophe Pangloss me l'avait assuré? Si fait, dit la belle
Cunégonde; mais on ne meurt pas toujours de ces deux accidents."
The "false Sextus... that wrought the deed of shame," and
violated Lucretia.
List of Letters
Contents
Sept. 9, 1813.
I write to you from Mr. Murray's, and I may say, from Murray, who, if
you are not predisposed in favour of any other publisher, would be happy
to treat with you, at a fitting time, for your work. I can safely
recommend him as fair, liberal, and attentive, and certainly, in point
of reputation, he stands among the first of "the trade." I am sure he
would do you justice. I have written to you so much lately, that you
will be glad to see so little now.
Ever, etc., etc.
List of Letters
Contents
September 15th, 1813.
My dear Webster,—I shall not resist your second invitation, and shortly
after the receipt of this you may expect me. You will excuse me from the
races. As a guest I have no "antipathies" and few preferences.... You
won't mind, however, my
not
dining with you—every day at least.
When we meet, we can talk over our respective plans: mine is very short
and simple; viz. to sail when I can get a passage. If I remained in
England I should live in the Country, and of course in the vicinity of
those whom I knew would be most agreeable.
I
not know that Jack's graven image
was at Newstead. If it be,
pray transfer it to Aston. It is my hope to see you so shortly, tomorrow
or next day, that I will not now trouble you with my speculations.
Ever yours very faithfully,
Byron
.
P.S.—I don't know how I came to sign myself with the "i." It is the old
spelling, and I sometimes slip into it. When I say I can't
dine
with you, I mean that sometimes I don't dine at all. Of course, when I
do, I conform to all hours and domestic arrangements.
"Jack's graven image" means the portrait of John Jackson
the pugilist.
List of Letters
Contents
331—to the Hon. Augusta Leigh
[Wednesday], Sept'r. 15th, 1813.
My dear Augusta,—I joined my friend Scrope about 8, and before eleven
we had swallowed six bottles of his burgundy and Claret, which left him
very unwell and me rather feverish; we were
tête à tête
. I
remained with him next day and set off last night for London, which I
reached at three in the morning. Tonight I shall leave it again, perhaps
for Aston or Newstead. I have not yet determined, nor does it much
matter. As you perhaps care more on the subject than I do, I will tell
you when I know myself.
When my departure is arranged, and I can get this long-evaded passage,
you will be able to tell me whether I am to expect a visit or not, and I
can come for or meet you as you think best. If you write, address to
Bennet Street.
Yours very truly,
B.
List of Letters
Contents
332—to John Murray
Sept. 15, 1813.
Dear Sir,—Will you pray enquire after any ship with a convoy
taking
passengers
and get me one if possible? I mean not in a ship of war,
but anything that may be
paid
for. I have a friend and 3
servants—Gibraltar or Minorca—or Zante.
Yours ever,
B.
List of Letters
Contents
333—to James Wedderburn Webster
Stilton, September 25th, 1813.
My Dear W.,—Thus far can I "report progress," and as a solid token of
my remembrance I send you a
cheese
of 13 lbs. to enable your
digestion to go through the race week. It will go to night; pray let
your retainers enquire after it. The date of this letter will account
for so homely a present. On my arrival in town I will write more on our
different concerns. In the mean time I wish you and yours all the
gratification on Doncaster you can wish for yourselves.
love to the
faithless Nettle
(who I dare say is
wronging
me during my
absence), and my best Compliments to all in your house who will receive
them.
Ever, dear W., yours truly,
B.
A dog given by Webster to Byron. (