StartLayout 1st Row 1st Column Blank 2nd Column left parenthesis 1 right parenthesis d normal upper T equals m normal upper V Subscript t Baseline d s 2nd Row 1st Column Blank 2nd Column left parenthesis 2 right parenthesis m normal upper V Subscript n Baseline equals normal upper T StartFraction d a Over d s EndFraction 3rd Row 1st Column Blank 2nd Column left parenthesis 3 right parenthesis StartFraction d normal upper V Subscript t Baseline Over d s EndFraction equals normal upper V Subscript n Baseline StartFraction d a Over d s EndFraction 4th Row 1st Column Blank 2nd Column left parenthesis 4 right parenthesis StartFraction d squared normal upper T Over d s squared EndFraction minus normal upper T left parenthesis StartFraction d a Over d s EndFraction right parenthesis squared equals 0 5th Row 1st Column Blank 2nd Column left parenthesis 5 right parenthesis StartFraction d squared normal upper T Over d a squared EndFraction minus normal upper T equals 0 6th Row 1st Column Blank 2nd Column left parenthesis 6 right parenthesis normal upper T equals normal upper C 1 e Superscript alpha Baseline plus normal upper C 2 e Superscript negative alpha Baseline 7th Row 1st Column Blank 2nd Column left parenthesis 7 right parenthesis normal upper R equals normal upper C 1 plus normal upper C 2 8th Row 1st Column Blank 2nd Column left parenthesis 8 right parenthesis normal upper O equals normal upper C 1 e Superscript alpha 1 Baseline plus normal upper C 2 e Superscript minus alpha 1 Baseline 9th Row 1st Column Blank 2nd Column StartFraction normal upper V Subscript n Baseline Over normal upper V Subscript t Baseline EndFraction equals tangent beta equals minus StartFraction e Superscript left parenthesis alpha 1 minus alpha right parenthesis Baseline minus e Superscript minus left parenthesis alpha 1 minus alpha right parenthesis Baseline Over e Superscript left parenthesis alpha 1 minus alpha right parenthesis Baseline plus e Superscript minus left parenthesis alpha 1 minus alpha right parenthesis Baseline EndFraction EndLayout

Valedictory Address to the D——n.

May 1854.

JOHN Alexander Frere, John,
When we were first acquent,
You lectured us as Freshmen
In the holy term of Lent;
But now you’re gettin’ bald, John,
Your end is drawing near,
And I think we’d better say “Goodbye,
John Alexander Frere.”
John Alexander Frere, John,
How swiftly Time has flown!
The weeks that you refused us
Are now no more your own;
Tho’ Time was in your hand, John,
You lingered out the year,
That Grace might more abound unto
John Alexander Frere.[276]
There’s young Monro of Trinity,
And Hunter bold of Queen’s,
Who spurn the chapel system,
And “vex the souls of Deans.”
But all their petty squabbles
More ludicrous appear,
When we muse on thy departed form,
John Alexander Frere.
There’s many a better man, John,
That scorns the scoffing crew,
But keeps with fond affection
The notes he got from yo—
“Why he was out of College,
Till two o’clock or near,
The Senior Dean requests to know,
Yours truly, J. A. Frere.”
John Alexander Frere, John,
I wonder what you mean
By mixing up your name so
With me, and with “The Dean.”
Another Don may dean us,
But ne’er again, we fear,
Shall we receive such notes as yours,
John Alexander Frere.
The Lecture Room no more, John,
Shall hear thy drowsy tone,
No more shall men in Chapel
Bow down before thy throne.
But Shillington with meekness,
The oracle shall hear,
That set St. Mary’s all to sleep—
John Alexander Frere.
Then once before we part, John,
Let all be clean forgot,
Our scandalous inventions,
[Thy note-lets, prized or not].
For under all conventions,
The small man lived sincere,
The kernel of the Senior Dean,
John Alexander Frere.[277]

In Memory of Edward Wilson,

Who repented of what was in his mind to write after section.

Rigid Body (sings).
GIN a body meet a body
Flyin’ through the air,
Gin a body hit a body,
Will it fly? and where?
Ilka impact has its measure,
Ne’er a ane hae I,
Yet a’ the lads they measure me,
Or, at least, they try.
Gin a body meet a body
Altogether free,
How they travel afterwards
We do not always see.
Ilka problem has its method
By analytics high;
For me, I ken na ane o’ them,
But what the waur am I?

Valentine by a Telegraph Clerk to a Telegraph Clerk .

“THE tendrils of my soul are twined
With thine, though many a mile apart,
And thine in close-coiled circuits wind
Around the needle of my heart.
“Constant as Daniell, strong as Grove,
Ebullient through its depths like Smee,
My heart pours forth its tide of love,
And all its circuits close in thee.
“O tell me, when along the line
From my full heart the message flows,
What currents are induced in thine?
One click from thee will end my woes.”
Through many an Ohm the Weber flew,
And clicked this answer back to me,—
“I am thy Farad, staunch[278] and true,
Charged to a Volt with love for thee.”

Lectures to Women on Physical Science.

I.
PLACE.—A small alcove with dark curtains.
The Class consists of one member.
SUBJECT.—Thomson's Mirror Galvanometer.
THE lamp-light falls on blackened walls,
And streams through narrow perforations,
The long beam trails o’er pasteboard scales,
With slow-decaying oscillations.
Flow, current, flow, set the quick light-spot flying,
Flow current, answer light-spot, flashing, quivering, dying,
O look! how queer! how thin and clear,
And thinner, clearer, sharper growing
The gliding fire! with central wire,
The fine degrees distinctly showing.
Swing, magnet, swing, advancing and receding,
Swing magnet! Answer dearest, What’s your final reading?
O love! you fail to read the scale
Correct to tenths of a division.
To mirror heaven those eyes were given,
And not for methods of precision.
Break contact, break, set the free light-spot flying;
Break contact, rest thee, magnet, swinging, creeping, dying.

Lectures to Women on Physical Science.

July 1874.

II.

Professor Chrschtschonovitsch, Ph.D., “On the G. G. S.[279] system of Units.

Remarks submitted to the Lecturer by a student.

PRIM Doctor of Philosophy
From academic Heidelberg!
Your sum of vital energy
Is not the millionth of an erg.[280]
Your liveliest motion might be reckoned
At one-tenth metre[281] in a second.
“The air,” you said, in language fine,
Which scientific thought expresses,
“The air—which with a megadyne,[282]
On each square centimetre presses—
The air, and I may add the ocean,
Are nought but molecules in motion.”
Atoms, you told me, were discrete,
Than you they could not be discreter,
Who know how many Millions meet
Within a cubic millimetre.
They clash together as they fly,
But you!—you cannot tell me why.
And when in tuning my guitar
The interval would not come right,
“This string,” you said, “is strained too far,
’Tis forty dynes,[283] at least too tight!”
And then you told me, as I sang,
What overtones were in my clang.[284]
You gabbled on, but every phrase
Was stiff with scientific shoddy,
The only song you deigned to praise
Was “Gin a body meet a body,”
“And even there,” you said, “collision
Was not described with due precision.”
“In the invariable plane,”
You told me, “lay the impulsive couple.”[285]
You seized my hand—you gave me pain,
By torsion of a wrist so supple;
You told me what that wrench would do,—
“’Twould set me twisting round a screw.”[286]
Were every hair of every tress
(Which you, no doubt, imagine mine),
Drawn towards you with its breaking stress—
A stress, say, of a megadyne,
That tension I would sooner suffer
Than meet again with such a duffer!

To the Chief Musician upon Nabla.[287]

A Tyndallic Ode.

I.
I COME from fields of fractured ice,
Whose wounds are cured by squeezing,
Melting[288] they cool, but in a trice,
Get[289] warm again by freezing.
Here, in the frosty air, the sprays
With fern-like hoar-frost bristle,
There, liquid stars their watery rays
Shoot through the solid crystal.
II.
I come from empyrean fires—
From microscopic spaces,
Where molecules with fierce desires.
Shiver in hot embraces.
The atoms clash, the spectra flash,
Projected on the screen,
The double normal upper D, magnesian b,
And Thallium’s living green.
III.
We place our eye where these dark rays
Unite in this dark focus,
Right on the source of power we gaze,
Without a screen to cloak us.
Then where the eye was placed at first,
We place a disc[290] of platinum,
It glows, it puckers! will it[291] burst?
How ever shall we[292] flatten him!
IV.
This crystal tube the electric ray
Shows optically clean,
No dust or haze within, but stay!
All has not yet been seen.
What gleams are these of heavenly blue?
What air-drawn form appearing,
What mystic fish, that, ghostlike, through[293]
The empty[294] space is steering?
V.
I light this sympathetic flame,
My faintest wish that answers,
I sing, it sweetly sings the same,
It dances with the dancers.
I shout, I whistle, clap my hands,
And[295] stamp upon[296] the platform,
The flame responds[297] to my commands,
In this form and in that form.
VI.
What means that thrilling, drilling scream,
Protect me! ’tis the siren:
Her heart is fire, her breath is steam,
Her larynx is of iron.
Sun! dart thy beams! in tepid streams,
Rise, viewless exhalations!
And lap me round, that no rude sound
May mar my meditations.
VII.
Here let me pause.—These transient facts,
These fugitive impressions,
Must be transformed by mental acts,
To permanent possessions.
Then summon up your grasp of mind,
Your fancy scientific,
Till[298] sights and sounds with thought combined,
Become[299] of truth prolific.
VIII.
Go to! prepare your mental bricks,
Fetch them from every quarter,
Firm on the sand your basement fix
With best sensation mortar.
The top[300] shall rise to heaven on high—
Or such an elevation,
That the swift whirl with which we fly
Shall conquer gravitation.

To the Committee of the Cayley Portrait Fund.

1874.

O WRETCHED race of men, to space confined!
What honour can ye pay to him, whose mind
To that which lies beyond hath penetrated?
The symbols he hath formed shall sound his praise,
And lead him on through unimagined ways
To conquests new, in worlds not yet created.
First, ye Determinants! in ordered row
And massive column ranged, before him go,
To form a phalanx for his safe protection.
Ye powers of the nth roots of—1!
Around his head in ceaseless[301] cycles run,
As unembodied spirits of direction.
And you, ye undevelopable scrolls!
Above the host wave your emblazoned rolls,
Ruled for the record of his bright inventions.
Ye Cubic surfaces! by threes and nines
Draw round his camp your seven-and-twenty lines—
The seal of Solomon in three dimensions.
March on, symbolic host! with step sublime,
Up to the flaming hounds of Space and Time!
There pause, until by Dickenson depicted,
In two dimensions, we the form may trace
Of him whose soul, too large for vulgar space,
In n dimensions flourished unrestricted.

Molecular Evolution.

Belfast, 1874.

AT quite uncertain times and places,
The atoms left their heavenly path,
And by fortuitous embraces,
Engendered all that being hath.
And though they seem to cling together,
And form “associations” here,
Yet, soon or late, they hurst their tether,
And through the depths of space career.
So we who sat, oppressed with science,
As British asses, wise and grave,
Are now transformed to wild Red Lions,[302]
As round our prey we ramp and rave.
Thus, by a swift metamorphosis,
Wisdom turns wit, and science joke,
Nonsense is incense to our noses,
For when Red Lions speak, they smoke.
Hail, Nonsense! dry nurse of Red Lions,[303]
From thee the wise their wisdom learn,
From thee they cull those truths of science,
Which into thee again they turn.
What combinations of ideas,
Nonsense alone can wisely form!
What sage has half the power that she has,
To take the towers of Truth by storm?
Yield, then, ye rules of rigid reason!
Dissolve, thou too, too solid sense!
Melt into nonsense for a season,
Then in some nobler form condense.
Soon, all too soon, the chilly morning,
This flow of soul will crystallize,
Then those who Nonsense now are scorning,
May learn, too late, where wisdom lies.

Molecular Evolution.

Song of the Cub.

Belfast, 1874.

I KNOW not what this may betoken,
That I feel so wondrous wise;
My dream of existence is broken
Since science has opened my eyes.
At the British Association
I heard the President’s speech,
And the methods and facts of creation
Seemed suddenly placed in my reach.
My life’s undivided devotion
To Science I solemnly vowed,
I’d dredge up the bed of the ocean,
I’d draw down the spark from the cloud.
To follow my thoughts as they go on,
Electrodes I’d place in my brain;
Nay, I’d swallow a live entozöon.
New feelings of life to obtain.
O where are those high feasts of Science?
O where are those words of the wise?
I hear but the roar of Red Lions,
I eat what their Jackal supplies.
I meant to be so scientific,
But science seems turned into fun;
And this, with his roaring terrific,
That old red lion hath done.

British Association, 1874.

Notes of the President's Address.

IN the very beginnings of science, the parsons, who managed
things then,
Being handy with hammer and chisel, made gods in the
likeness of men;
Till Commerce arose, and at length some men of exceptional
power
Supplanted both demons and gods by the atoms, which last
to this hour.
Yet they did not abolish the gods, but they sent them well
out of the way,
With the rarest of nectar to drink, and blue fields of nothing
to sway.
From nothing comes nothing, they told us, nought happens
by chance, but by fate;
There is nothing but atoms, and void, all else is mere whims
out of date!
Then why should a man curry favour with beings who cannot
exist,
To compass some petty promotion in nebulous kingdoms of
mist?
But not by the rays of the sun, nor the glittering shafts of
the day,
Must the fear of the gods be dispelled, but by words, and
their wonderful play.
So treading a path all untrod, the poet-philosopher sings
Of the seeds of the mighty world—the first-beginnings of
things;
How freely he scatters his atoms before the beginning of
years;
How he clothes them with force as a garment, those small
incompressible spheres!
Nor yet does he leave them hard-hearted—he dowers them
with love and with hate,
Like spherical small British Asses in infinitesimal state;
Till just as that living Plato, whom foreigners nickname
Plateau,[304]
Drops oil in his whisky-and-water (for foreigners sweeten
it so),
Each drop keeps apart from the other, enclosed in a flexible
skin,
Till touched by the gentle emotion evolved by the prick of
a pin:
Thus in atoms a simple collision excites a sensational thrill,
Evolved through all sorts of emotion, as sense, understanding,
and will;
(For by laying their heads all together, the atoms, as councillors
do,
May combine to express an opinion to every one of them
new).
There is nobody here, I should say, has felt true indignation
at all,
Till an indignation meeting is held in the Ulster Hall;
Then gathers the wave of emotion, then noble feelings arise,
Till you all pass a resolution which takes every man by
surprise.
Thus the pure elementary atom, the unit of mass and of
thought,
By force of mere juxtaposition to life and sensation is
brought;
So, down through untold generations, transmission of structureless
germs
Enables our race to inherit the thoughts of beasts, fishes,
and worms.
We honour our fathers and mothers, grandfathers and grand-mothers
too;
But how shall we honour the vista of ancestors now in our
view?
First, then, let us honour the atom, so lively, so wise, and
so small;
The atomists next let us praise, Epicurus, Lucretius, and all;
Let us damn with faint praise Bishop Butler, in whom many
atoms combined
To form that remarkable structure, it pleased him to call—his
mind.
Last, praise we the noble body to which, for the time, we
belong,
Ere yet the swift whirl of the atoms has hurried us, ruthless,
along,
The British Association—like Leviathan worshipped by
Hobbes,
The incarnation of wisdom, built up of our witless nobs,
Which will carry on endless discussions, when I, and probably
you,
Have melted in infinite azure—in English, till all is blue.

Translation ofNotes on the President's Address, British Association, 1874.” By B. Shilleto.

πρώτ' άρχομένης σοφίας, ίερείς, οΐσπερ τότε πάντ' Έμεμήλει,
δαιδαλοκομψογλυφανορραισταί, θνητώ θεὸν είκότ' έτευξαν'
ές τ' έμπορία 'γένετ', είτα βροτὸς πλατύνωτος ύπεσκέλισέν τις
δαίμονα καὶ θεὸν, άντειληφὼς άτόμονς μέχρι δεύρο μενούσας.
ού μὴν πάντως γ' Έκτεινε θεούς, άλλ' Έκτοπίονς άπέπεμψεν
νέκταρ τε πιείν σπάνιον, γλανκοίς τ' έν άγροι̂s τοίς μηδὲν άνάσσειν.
Έξ ούδενὸς έστ' ούδέν, έφασκον συνέβη γὰρ άπαντα κατ' α ΐσαν.
πλὴν άτομοι καὶ χάος ούδὲν έφν κρονίων τάλλ' ού καλὸν όζει.
τί άν ούν τοι̂s μὴ δυνατοίς είναι μελετώης άνν χαρίσασθαι,
έμειρόμενος τινὸς άρχιδίον ν κορυφαΐς όμίχλης νεφοέσσης;
ού μὴν ούδ' άν σέλας ήελίον γ', ούδ' ήμέριον βέλος αύγης,
σκεδάσειε θεών δείμ', άλλα λόγοι, χώ περὶ τούτων στενολεσχών.
πρὸς ταύτα πατών στίβον άστειπτον, μεγάλον μετεωροποιητὴς
σπέρματα κόσμον πρωτάς[305] τ' άρχὰς πάντων όπόσ' έστιν άείδει'
καταχεί τ' άτόμονς μάλ' Έλευθερίως πρὶν φύναι τοὺς Ένιαυτούς,
ώς ίματίω δυνάμει περιδὺς τὰ σφαιρίδι’ ούχὶ πιεστά,
φιλίαν μέντοι μίσός τ' Έπέδωκ, ού σκληρόφρονας καταλείπων,
ώς σμίκρ' όντα σφαιρίχ' όποστούν φιτύματ' όνεια Βρετάννων.
κάθ' οία Πλάτων ό ζών νννί, καλέονσι θεοὶ δὲ Πλαταιά,
γάνος οίναρίω ́μιξεν έλαίον (γλυκν̀ γὰρ ποιεί θεὸς οΰτω),
έτέρας έτέρα χωρὶς σταγόσιν δέρμ́ αϊόλον άμφιέσας τι,
ὲς τ' ᾰν μαλακὴ κίνησις άφης πλησθή κέντροισιν όπητος
ούτως άτόμων σύγκρασις άπλη παρέχει τινὰ γάργαλον όξύν,
κατέδειξεν άπασ’ όν κίνησις, νούς οία φρόνησις όρεξις
οι’δ’ άν φαίην γνήσιον όργην των ένταυ̂θ' ούδέν’ έπα̂ραι
πρὶν έποιήθη σύλλογος όργης όδ́ Ιέρνης[306] έν πρυτανείω
τότε κίνησις κύματ’ έγείρει, μεγάλη τότε γίγνεται όρμή,
θαύματί θ' ύμεὶς ψήφον θέμενοι καταπλήττετε πάντας άπαντες
άτομος διὰ ταύθ' ή πρώτη, νου πλήθους θ' ένὰς, αΐεν άκρατος
του̂ παρακείσθαι δυνάιεει βιοτὴν έλαβέν τ' αΐσθησιν έκάστη.
χοΰτω γενεών έξ άμετρήτων στοιχεία δεδέγμεθ' άμορφα,
θηρίον ίχθὺς αύτός θ' ό φθεὶρ ᾰ φρονούσιν κληρονομούντες.
πατέρας πάππους τιμώμεν άεὶ τηθαΐς καὶ μητράσιν αύται̂s.
πώς δ́ άν προγόνων τήνδε παρούσαν τιμήσειέν τις έποψιν;
άτόμω πρώτη κείσθω τιμή, διερα̂ μάλα σώφρονι λεπτή.
τοὺς άτομίξοντας ε´´πειτ' αίνω Λονκρήτιον ήδ́ ́Επίκουρον,
καταμεμφόμενος πόλλ' Οίνοχόον, κεί πολὺ πλήθος συνεπλέχθη
άτόμων μέγα θαυ̂μ' έργαξομένων ό καλείν οί έδοξε νόημα.
ΰστατα δ’ αίνα̂ χορὸν άθάνατον, ννν ήμετέρονς κορυφαίους, στρόβος οΰς άτόμων
οΰπω σοβαρὸς φρεσὶν είλκνσε τηλόσ́ άνοίκτοις, κνώδαλον οΐον του̂ ψυχολόγου,
φιτύματ' όνεια Βρετάννων, άσόφου κτισθέντας ύπ’ έγκεφάλον, σοφίας έμψυχον
άγαλμα, οΐπερ διατρίψονσιν άπαύστως, όπόταν τάχ' ίσως σύ τε κάγὼ κνανώ τε
τακώμεν έν άσβέστω, καὶ γλαυκὰ πέριξ συνάπαντ' ὴ.

To The Additional Examiner for 1875.[307]

July 29, 1874.

QUEEN CRAM went straying
Where Tait was swaying,
In just hands weighing,
With care immense,
Dry proofs made pleasant
By Routh or Besant
For one who hasn’t
Got too much sense.
Nor marked how, quicker
Than mounts the liquor
In brains made thicker
By College beer,
The murderous maiden,
Mistake, walks laden
With tips forgotten and slips so queer.
How, like a spider,
She still spreads wider,
O'er bookwork, rider,
And problem too,
Her flimsy curtain
Of terms uncertain,
Till all seems dirt in
The marker's view.
For if Cram were not,
Which markers spare not,
Wise men would care not
To pluck too soon,
Seeing all life's season
Of budding[308] reason
Finds good stiff work for a wooden spoon.
As Tait sat joking,
And marked while smoking,
Still slyly poking
Where jests might hit,
She came, soft-gliding,
Her false face hiding,
Rich food providing
For Tait's sharp wit.
Through symbols tangled,
The Wranglers wrangled
Like sweet bells jangled
And out of tune.
For though their music
Would soon make you sick
The tides they measure and guide the moon.
Cram found no cover
Wherein to hover,
For still above her
Tait held his pen,
Which, onward creeping,
Might find her sleeping,
But left her weeping
O’er ruined men.
For, like a blister,
Mistake, Cram’s sister,
Would wring and twist her
In awkward[309] ways,
Till all the knowledge
Acquired at College
Had passed from thought[310] in the last six days.

Professor Tait, Loquitur.

June 1877.