Tuneless
Very good. But, remember the essential thing. Send your nephew to the
Indies.
Bramble
To the Indies. I will spare nothing to get him there.
Tuneless Here—begin your dissimulation with the Countess. Go joke with her about the trick she played on you, and joke in the faces of all those who do nothing but laugh behind your back.
Bramble
That's the role I've got to take.
(Exit Bramble. After a moment, enter Lucy from another direction.)
Lucy
Well, Tuneless?
Tuneless I've brought him to the point at which I want him. He will dissimulate. But, I had trouble calming his rage.
Lucy The rage of my mistress is very violent. To soften it, she fainted twice.
Tuneless It's the strength of women to have such little weaknesses ready at their command. For when these great accidents occur—the attack is very strong—and a woman saves herself by fainting or weeping.
Lucy She fortifies herself in this way against reflections, and when she gets her strength back, there are tirades of abuse against her husband—but she leave the name blank.
Tuneless
Let's finish. It's time to manage the interview.
Lucy
Yes. Here's the lady—bring on the husband.
Tuneless
I'll go fetch him.
(Exit Tuneless. Enter Widow from another direction.)
Widow Where are you at, Lucy? You've abandoned me in my rage. I am furious against the Countess.
Lucy
That is to say, against your husband.
Widow To deceive me, to betray me. He wanted me to die—the cruel man—the traitor.
Lucy Oh, yes, more a traitor than the Countess. But, your husband also deserves your rage. First of all, because he is alive—and because he is unfaithful. But for fear that he may realize you are also unfaithful, feign, Madame, as I have told you.
Widow I tremble with fear that he suspects me. Perhaps, in my mourning, I innocently called on Desmond.
Lucy Innocently, of course. But now virtue and propriety insist, that in the batting of an eye, change your love into esteem. And, if your husband should eventually die, you may, in another bat of an eye, change your esteem into love.
Widow Your advice is so wise. I will follow it. And send Arabella a hundred leagues from here.
Lucy
So. Let's go, embrace your husband as if nothing happened.
Widow
It will be very hard to hide my anger.
(Enter Tuneless and Bramble.)
Lucy
Here he is. Recall all the feelings you had on your wedding day.
Widow
I do. I'm freezing. My blood is like ice.
Lucy
It's conjugal tenderness thawing.
Tuneless
Force yourself. Let no rancor show on your face.
Lucy
Courage, Madame.
Tuneless
Make an effort, sir.
Lucy
Strength.
Tuneless
Go on, now.
(Bramble and the Widow look at each other and run to embrace. As they hug, their faces show outraged grimaces.)
Bramble
I see my dear wife again.
Widow
And my equally dear husband!
(They embrace and separate several times, breathing like divers who surface for air, nauseated.)
Bramble
Ecch!
Widow
Ouf!
Bramble (turning to his wife with a joyful, but somehow tortured look)
My joy is so great that it's frightful—ah-ecch!
Widow
My delight is too much to bear—yuck!
Bramble
Why is it that your joy appears troubled?
Widow Emotions of rage come over me—against the Countess. In making you believe I was dead, she exposed you to a possible seizure. You might have died.
Bramble
You?—she would've enjoyed to make me die.
Widow Thank God's Mercy, you look—well. You appear healthy. I am furious with—that woman.
Bramble All this has merely redoubled my feelings for you. I can't really express them.
Widow I feel, also, that my love for you—I don't know how to say it. Huh— how I hate the Countess.
Bramble This is like a renewal of the feelings I had for you when we first met.
Widow
Yes. It's like a second honeymoon.
Tuneless
A posthumous marriage.
Bramble A renewal of my love. Yes, I also wish to take these little precautions that will assure you are cared for properly when I die.
Widow I want you to survive me to enjoy my wealth. All that you deserve of it.
Bramble As, so as to no longer have to put up with the presence of anyone around me who might take something from you when I die, I've decided to send my nephew to the Indies.
Widow (with surprise and spite) And, for the same reason, I—I am going to marry Arabella a hundred leagues from here.
Bramble You tell me that with a little spite. It's innocently that I speak to you of separating from Desmond.
Widow
And, I have nothing but pure good intentions in separating from
Arabella.
(Enter the Countess's Maid.)
Maid Here is the Countess, coming to rejoice. We are going to sing and dance all night. It's not only for the three marriages I see on the agency, WE are ready for a wedding, you see.
Bramble
What's that about three weddings?
Maid
Yours first—for the Countess regards all this as a new marriage.
Widow
She's right. But not one made in Heaven.
Bramble
And the two others?
Maid Don't you know? Didn't you know the joke was to get money from you to marry Desmond in Wales. And you, Madame, understood, of course, that the money asked from you was to marry Arabella in Scotland. But, since you refused to give it, the Countess is bearing the expenses herself.
Widow (low, to Lucy)
Desmond in Wales!
Lucy
Keep a straight face—virtue.
Bramble
Arabella in Scotland!
Tuneless
Shut up, sir. Dissimulation.
(Enter the Countess, Arabella, Desmond, and the MacPhersons.)
Countess
I come to share your joy in being reunited, in seeing each other
again, like Orpheus and Eurydice. And to celebrate the two marriages
I've made. Now, enjoy yourselves.
(The MacPhersons start to sing: La, la, la—)
Countess Stop the singing. I perceive that instead of rejoicing you, something saddens you. There's something here I don't understand. When I marry a nephew who displeases you so much that you are sending him away—
Bramble
Send him away, Madame, that's what I wish—
Countess
And, when I take your niece off your hands—
Widow
You please me greatly, Madame.
Countess
Arabella will leave tomorrow for Scotland.
Widow
I consent, but—
Countess
And your nephew to Wales—
Bramble
That's what I want—but—
Countess
Why then, are you both irritated, when I do what contents each of you?
Lucy
Madame doesn't want to be separated from her only niece.
Tuneless
The gentleman always wishes to see his dear nephew.
Countess I don't believe that you love them at all. Yet—your tenderness for them gives me an idea. It would keep them here. I'll marry them to each other—if you give your consent to it.
Tuneless This marriage would enrage your wife, and—Arabella would always be where you could get at her.
Lucy This marriage would punish your husband, and someday, with Desmond about, you might—
Countess
You hesitate at this second proposition. That makes me suspect—
Widow
Not at all, Madame.
Bramble
You deceive yourself.
Countess
What then made you stop?
Widow Because, Madame, having destined my wealth for a husband who is unspeakably dear to me—
Bramble
Yes, Madame, and to protect mine for a loving spouse—
Countess Oh, I'm delighted to be deceived in my suspicions. I see the point that causes you hesitation. I ask nothing for them. Leave your money to each other, and let them take from the survivor. That way, they will ultimately get all your wealth, and you will take proper care of your spouse.
Desmond (to Widow)
Madame, prevent them from separating me from your presence.
Arabella (to Bramble, low)
Sir, will you let them take me away from you into Scotland?
Bramble
What determines me is the fear of—of displeasing my wife.
Widow
The fear that I have of angering my husband—
Countess
Then, the marriage is made. Give your hands.
Tuneless Such a pretty marriage merits a complete Opera. But unfortunately, we have neither musicians nor dancers. And, in the town they have only peasants. Be content, therefore, to listen to the little cantata I have composed. We are going to rehearse it in your presence. And, while we lack musicians, I myself will sing it for you. La, la, la.
(While Tuneless is getting ready, they all run away.)