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In Africa, marriage being largely of a commercial and temporary character, Cupid does not rule the destiny of men and women to the same extent as in this country; and even when under his spell, the natives conduct their love affairs in a much less demonstrative manner than Europeans. It will, however, be seen that some of the methods adopted by dusky swains to secure the nymphs of their choice are extraordinary, if not romantic.

Amongst some tribes, when a man professes his love for a woman and asks her in marriage, she invariably refuses him at first, lest it should appear that she had been thinking of him and was eager to become his wife! By so doing she maintains the modesty of her sex, as well as tests the love and abases the pride of her lover. This policy is also intended to be of use to the woman in her married life—as, should there be quarrelling, and the husband threaten to send her away, she can remind him of how he made repeated professions of his love and urgently pressed his suit before she consented to become his wife.

The charge which is sometimes brought against white men of "marrying for money" cannot be used against their sex in Africa, for there it is the other way about, husbands having to purchase their wives. When a man has a wife bestowed upon him as an act of charity, he feels that she is not properly his own, and she, if she will, can treat him with contempt. This custom of wife-purchase, although it is to be decried as tending to lower marriage to the level of a commercial contract, is an incentive to young men to work. Lazy youths cannot compete with energetic ones in the matrimonial market, as they are despised by the young women and rejected by their parents as being unworthy of their daughters. The number of polygamists would also be greater were it not that each man has to buy his wife. In order to procure the wherewithal he must necessarily exert himself, and as "the cost spoils the taste," many prefer to remain monogamists.

Polygamy is the source of much social evil. When a husband pays more attention to one of his wives than the others they become jealous, and probably set about poisoning her or their lord and master as the simplest way out of the difficulty. Thus the polygamist has no easy time in striving to please all his wives and guarding himself against the deadly potion; while if by chance all of them combine against him, his lot is a hapless one indeed. When he has reason to believe that his women-folk are secretly plotting against him, he makes them taste, in his presence, the viands prepared for him (males and females do not eat together, whether married or otherwise) before he partakes of them; or he may make it a rule to have all his food cooked for him by his favourite wife, eschewing all others. The photograph above reproduced shows a chief, living near one of the mission stations in Usagara, who had a hair-breadth escape from being poisoned by one of his five wives, whom he put away on becoming a Christian. The evils of polygamy are further seen in the strife and jealousy existing between the children of the different wives.

Near the great snow-capped Kilimanjaro live a tribe named the Wamoshi, noted for their strange and amusing customs relating to courtship and marriage. When a young man of this tribe sets his affections upon a young woman, he enters the garden where she is working and casts sly glances at her. If she looks at him occasionally, he takes it as a sign that she would not be unwilling to become his wife. This preliminary move being over, he sends a friend to tell her that he wishes to marry her, and if she consents the lover goes to her father. When the latter is told by the young man the object of his visit, he says: "I cannot pay any attention to your request until you bring cattle or goats." These having been brought, the father tells the suitor that he must bring more on account of the mother; and when he brings these, he is further told that he must bring more on account of the sweetheart herself! These last having been brought, the palaver begins, when the amount of dowry is discussed. Before the great cattle plague in 1884, thirty head of cattle was the usual dowry paid by the bridegroom. Then the young man sends a number of his friends to seize his sweetheart when coming out of her house in the early morning. She screams and resists, whilst her friends follow, feigning grief. The captors take her in triumph to the house of her lover's mother, where she remains within doors as a guest for a month, the food being supplied by her lover. If she is in good condition at the end of the month, he is considered a worthy suitor; but if thin and haggard, he is deemed unworthy of her. The marriage ceremony (which consists of certain ablutions, etc.) being over, the bride goes out with bells attached to her legs, indicating that she has become a wife.

A missionary who witnessed the carrying off of a prospective bride without understanding the meaning of the business thought the girl's captors were very cruel, and raised his voice indignantly against such conduct. When told that it was the usual marriage custom of the tribe, however, he was greatly amused.

The Masai tribe, who are fierce in war, act gingerly enough in love-making. When a swain falls in love with a young woman, he deputes his brother-in-law to go to the mother of the damsel with two cakes of tobacco. The mother usually accepts the love-token, and the daughter, as a rule, makes no demur. When the girl comes of age (they are all engaged long before this) the man brings a heifer, and later on two cows, a bullock, four sheep, and two skin bottles of honey. One of the bottles is made into mead for the purpose of offering up in sacrifice on account of the bride. The honey of the other bottle is squirted out of the mouths of father, uncle, and mother on to the body of the bride, and after this ceremony is finished she is given to the bridegroom.

Between betrothal and marriage there is no communication between lovers, and should the man come unintentionally upon his intended whilst eating, he runs home and brings two goats as a trespass-offering!

Another custom of this tribe is equally curious. When a man has gained the affections of a woman whom he wants to marry, he sets off to the forest to look for wild honey. Having procured a calabash of the precious commodity, he takes it to the parents of his sweetheart, going a second and third time to the forest on the same business, as he must present three calabashes of honey before he gets a hearing. Three cakes of tobacco added to the above make him qualified to press his suit further. Afterwards he brings another calabash of honey, a heifer calf, a bullock, and a sheep. The honey is made into mead, and the suitor, with his friends, goes to the house of the young woman, where the ox and sheep are killed. Feasting now graces the proceedings, and the bride and bridegroom go through a ceremonial washing, which is the formal way of "tying the knot." The ceremony being over, the father-in-law and his new son-in-law address one another with the familiar and endearing epithet of "Wageri."

We have seen these Masai as lovers; let us now take a peep at them as husband and wife. The man we find intolerably lazy, and the poor woman submits to the yoke of bondage as a matter of course, without a moan or groan. Though submissive, she may one day get ruffled by harsh treatment, and thus a quarrel ensues. If her husband strike her, she must not retaliate; but should she be so daring as to strike her lord and master in self-defence, all the males of the kraal assemble and belabour her with thongs. It will therefore be seen that the Masai are no believers in the doctrine that women should take their own part. Should the lady meekly submit to her husband's brutalities, however, those present call upon him to desist.

Amongst the Wasagara tribe, when a man wants to marry the woman of his choice he gives her a "chipingo" (engagement-ring). Should another suitor come along afterwards and want to pay his addresses to the engaged girl, she reminds him that she has the "chipingo" of another man—an example that might be commended to some ladies in civilized countries. When the man has procured the wherewithal for the completion of the match, he proceeds to the house of his sweetheart's parents and, the relations and friends of both parties having assembled, the palaver begins. The bridegroom, if a poor man, pays the dowry in fowls—two hens and a cock being deemed sufficient. One hen is on account of the father and the other on account of the mother of the bride. The cock is killed and eaten with a pot of porridge. When the feast is over the ablutions are performed, and the bride and bridegroom are enjoined by the conductors of the ceremony to be true and faithful to each other. The children of the union, if any, are reckoned amongst the mother's clan, and not the father's. Sometimes, amongst this same tribe, a man will actually bespeak a wife before she is born, by arrangement with a certain family; and, in order to forestall other suitors, he also offers his services to her parents as a kind of slave. He works away, patiently awaiting the birth and growth of his future wife. Should it be a male child, of course his disappointment is great. As soon as the child can tell her right hand from her left, her mother whispers into her ears her future relationship with the great big man who milks the cows and hoes in the garden. She also instils into her mind her duty towards him as his future wife. The little maiden must run out to meet him when returning from a journey and take from him his spear, etc., and carry them for him into the house. When the girl is approaching maturity the man pays the dowry, which usually consists of five goats, the fifth being killed and eaten at the wedding-feast.

The Wasukuma, a tribe living to the south of the Victoria Nyanza, conduct their love-making as follows: When a man has spied out a woman whom he fancies, he sends a friend to her parents' house to reconnoitre. On arriving he stands at the door, and the people of the house invite him inside and offer him a stool. They then enter into conversation with him and ask his business. Without hesitation he tells them that he has been commissioned by a certain person who wants a wife to come and be his spokesman. If the father of the girl is pleased with the proposed alliance he gives the spokesman a goat, which he thankfully accepts, returning with joy to the anxious swain to announce the success of his mission.

The day of the great marriage palaver having arrived, the relations and friends of both parties assemble and dispose themselves into two groups—one group being the relations and friends of the bride, and the other of the bridegroom. The hills and vales resound with the eloquence of the orators who speak on either side. But, strange to say, they speak of the stones lying around as representing cattle, and do not address their audience directly. A speaker on behalf of the bridegroom rises and names a certain number of stones (i.e., cattle); and when he has finished, a member of the opposite group rises and says the number of "stones" named is not enough. So they go on from morning till night, debating the number of cattle to be paid as dowry. When they have come to an agreement, the bride's friends take away the cattle; and afterwards beer is made and an ox killed for the wedding-feast. The friends then assemble at the house of the bride, where they eat, drink, and dance for two days, and then disperse, save four or five special friends of the bridegroom, who remain at the house until the ceremonial washing is over. Then they too depart—all save one, who remains two days more to see how the young couple get on, and to carry the tidings to the bridegroom's friends.

Last, but not least, I will relate the strange but interesting methods of the Wagogo—a tribe found two hundred and fifty miles west from the coast opposite Zanzibar. A woman of this tribe always refuses a man when he first proposes to her. Knowing the usual tactics of the opposite sex, the man does not take "No" for an answer, but keeps on bombarding the citadel until he has captured it. Sometimes, however, it happens that the woman really means what she says, and the man cannot by hook or by crook cajole her into marrying him!

When, however, all has gone well, the suitor presents the woman of his choice with three or four iron necklaces, the acceptance of which betokens her willingness to be engaged. The man then hastens to inform his relations of what has occurred, and, if they approve of the transaction, they advise him to make a public offer of marriage. His female friends undertake this pleasant business for him, and the time chosen is the break of day. Taking a new hoe, or a few yards of calico, to present as a formal token of the engagement, they go to see the young lady. If she accepts the offering, the engagement is sealed; but if she refuses, the matter comes to an abrupt end. The betrothal is accompanied with shouting, singing, and great rejoicing, and the tremendous noise arouses the whole neighbourhood. Hence everybody in the place, both young and old, at once gets to know of the engagement, and the news is hailed as a welcome topic of gossip.

When the man has secured a sufficient number of goats, etc., he apprises the woman's relations of his desire to "guma" (i.e., to pay the dowry). A day is appointed, and the match-making palaver takes place. Very often the negotiations are broken off because the amount of dowry is considered too small; and it may be interesting to set down here in detail the fees usually paid for a wife—the matrimonial price-list, so to speak. The dowry is divided into several parts, distinguished by separate names representing certain amounts, as under:—

"Wupogoze" (private proposal)—three chain necklaces (engagement ring).

"Wubanye" (public proposal)—new hoe or four yards of calico.

"Madango" (first part of dowry proper)—nine goats: five on account of the bride's father and four on account of the mother.

"Matula lusona"—nine goats.

"Lung' hundi"—seven goats.

"Ibululu"—thirteen goats.

"Musenga"—a goat with young to mother of bride.

"Wufuwa"—a goat to uncle of bride.

"Muvumba"—two yards of calico to the bride.

"Malenga"—a second-hand hoe to father of the bride.

It will be observed from this final offering that, as in civilized countries, the hapless father-in-law, having once given his consent, is treated as of little importance.

The preliminaries being over, the marriage ceremony takes place. The bride and bridegroom, feigning bashfulness, run away and hide. When found they are brought (the latter carried on women's backs) to the altar. Here they are made to sit on stools, and are washed in turn, the bridegroom leading the way. He is washed by his brother-in-law, or, in his absence, by some other relative of the bride. This function being over, they are anointed with oil, and the mothers of the happy pair then enjoin them to love one another and to do their work as they ought.

Next comes the start for the bridegroom's house. The bridegroom leaves some time before the bride, and when close to her future home the bride is stopped every few yards by beggars, who get all they can from the bridegroom's friends. When they think they have given enough, however, one of the bridegroom's friends takes the bride on his shoulders and runs away with her in triumph to her new home.

The concluding portion of the dowry is known as "Vimililo," and is divided into several parts, as under:—

(a) Things given to allow wedding procession to proceed; (b) A hoe or goat is demanded at the door of the bridegroom; and (c) A goat has to be given to the bride to induce her to sit down. Another goat and kid must be presented to her in order to make her eat, and a hoe before she puts her hand to the dish, so that the "wedding breakfast" must come rather expensive to the young Benedict. Speaking of dowries, the price of a cow is about two pounds; of an ox, twenty-five shillings; and goats vary from one and fourpence to four shillings each, according to size and condition.

On the fourth day after marriage the bride and bridegroom go on a visit to the parents of the former, accompanied by a young man and young woman as attendants.

Extraordinary methods are adopted by the Wagogo in securing wives in addition to the ways described above. For instance, when a man is poor, and has not sufficient means to procure a wife, he may resort to what is called "kupanga." He betakes himself to the house of his lady-love and stands or sits in the porch without eating until the girl's father gives him a reply, which may not be for days. If the old gentleman likes the young man, he forthwith sends messengers to his home to negotiate with his relations; but if he dislikes the idea of having him for a son-in-law, he hunts him away without ceremony. When the former is the case, the messengers, on arriving at the man's home, ask whether anyone is missing from the family circle; and on being told that a male member has been absent for some days, they inform the people that he is at the house of a certain man looking for a wife. The former affect great astonishment, exclaiming: "Just fancy! It is there that our bull has gone!" All the parties being agreeable to the match, the day of the palaver is fixed; and when the amount of dowry (usually, in this case, twenty goats and two head of cattle) has been settled, the wedding day is named.

When a man secures a girl's consent to marry him, and has the wherewithal to pay a dowry, but cannot get the consent of the girl's parents, he adopts another plan.

He whispers into his lady-love's ear that he will "pula" (run away with her), or, rather, send some of his friends to catch her on her way to draw water and carry her to his house. Should she consent to his proposal, he employs a few of his friends to go and capture her. Should she resist (to show her modesty), they carry her on their shoulders to her lover's house, where she remains with him until the following day, when her relations come and claim six goats as a trespass-offering for having carried the girl away. In addition to these, the usual dowry is twenty goats and five head of cattle. One goat is on account of the betrothal; one as a fine for the covetous eye which spied the girl out; two (one for each parent) for the stool on which the lover sat when he came to court her; two as payment for the relatives' trouble in looking for her when kidnapped; two on account of the palaver; and two for entering the house to make love to her. A marriage nearly always ensues in the case of "pula"; so that an ardent lover who has tried every other way in vain may, as a last resource, adopt this method with success.

Wives are also obtained by inheritance. It is the custom for a man to inherit the wife of a deceased brother or father, and the man so marrying is expected to give three goats (one of which is eaten at the inevitable palaver) to the wife's relations. Should he be so miserly as not to pay this customary fee, they upbraid him, and say that the wife is only his slave, and that his meanness has forfeited their friendship for evermore! A widow, however, may refuse to marry the man who inherits her, as there may be someone else whom she likes better who wishes to marry her. When this happens, the latter has to pay the dowry to the former as if the woman were his daughter!

It is an understood thing amongst the different tribes that a woman is only taken on trial, and may, after a few months of married life, be sent back to her parents. As with the advertising tradesman, it is a case of "All goods not approved may be exchanged."