[“A ‘Sober Scot Society’ has been formed in Edinburgh. Its members bind themselves not to drink liquor before noon.”—Daily Paper.]
STERN PULPIT-CRITICS
First Scot. “Fat sort o’ minister hae ye gotten, Geordie?”
Second Ditto. “Oh, weel, he’s no muckle worth. We seldom get a glint o’ him. Sax days o’ th’ week he’s envees’ble, and on the seventh he’s encomprehens’ble!!”
“GOOD INTENTIONS”
Scot (on Waterloo Bridge). “Hech! To think I save a bawbee every time I cross this bonny brig! I’ll just pit it in the plate the next time I gang t’ the kirk!”
CATECHISM UNDER DIFFICULTIES
Free Kirk Elder (preparatory to presenting a tract). “My friend, do you know the chief end of man?”
Piper (innocently). “Na, I dinna mind the chune! Can ye no whustle it?”!!
Companion Sign to the “Welsh Harp.”—The “Scots Fiddle.”
Wut at Wimbledon.—A Scots volunteer, one of the knot of critics round the firing-point where the line-prizes were being shot for, on asking, with some contempt in his voice, “Whaur thae lads come frae?” and being told “Aldershot,” was heard to mutter, complacently. “Hech, sirs! Aulder shots sud be better shots I’m thinkin’!”
“The Old Adam.”—The Minister (coming on them unawares). “E-e-h! Sandy McDougal! Ah’m sorry to see this! And you too, Wully! Fishin’ o’ the Sawbath! Ah thoucht ah’d enstellet better prenciples——” (A Rise.) “E-e-eh! Wully, man!—ye hae’m!—it’s entil’m! Haud up yer r-rod, man—or ye’ll lose’m—tak’ car-r-re!——”
[Recollects himself, and walks off.