FOOD for the MIND:
OR, A NEW
RIDDLE-BOOK.
Compiled for the Use of
The Great and the Little
GOOD BOYS and GIRLS
In England, Scotland, and Ireland.
By John-the-Giant-Killer, Esq;
Who Riddles tells, and merry Tale,
O'er nut-brown Cakes and Mugs of Ale.
Homer.
Come riddle me riddle me riddle me Ree,
None are so blind as they that wont see.
Puffendorf.
LONDON:
Printed for the Booksellers of Europe, Asia,
Africa, and America; and sold by T. Carnan
and F. Newbery, Jun. at Number 65, St.
Paul's Church Yard. 1778.
The Public are desired to observe, that
F. Newbery, at the Corner of St. Paul's
Church-Yard and Ludgate Street, has
not the least Concern in any of the late Mr.
John Newbery's Entertaining Books
for Children; and, to prevent having paltry
Compilation obtruded on them instead
of Mr. John Newbery's useful Publications,
they are desired to be particularly
careful to apply for them to T. Carnan
and F. Newbery, Jun. (Successors to
the late Mr. John Newbery) at Number
65, near the Bar in St. Paul's
Church-Yard.
The art of making riddles
is so antique, that it bears
date almost with our earliest
accounts of time, and
is a diversion with which Sampson,
the strongest of all mankind, amused
himself. Nor has it been confined
to common people, as a certain author
supposes; for Kings, and even
some of the wisest of them, are said
to have been adepts in the science;
for such was the ever-to-be-remembered
King Solomon, and such was his
friend Hiram the King of Tyre.
Riddling, if I am not mistaken, is
the art of both dissembling and undissembling,
and, if what a great Politician
has asserted to be true, that he
who knows not how to dissemble
knows not how to reign, this art must
be eminently useful to Princes, and
their Ministers, and not to them only,
but to all those who are any ways connected
with courts, or concerned in
political transactions; for as people
in high life do not always speak as
they mean, nor promise what they intend
to perform; or, in other words, as
dissembling is held in such high estimation
among the Great, and practised
with applause every day, the
art of undissembling, should, I think,
be called in to the aid of those whose
heads may render them subject to imposition.—A
squeeze by the hand is
a dumb riddle, which may induce
any one unskilled in this art to dance
attendance for years; while an adept
takes the unmeaning sign to pieces,
and, like a Free-mason, returns the
compliment by another squeeze, to
let the Ænigmatist know that he is
in the secret. All Cyphers used by
Politicians are Riddles; and were
Ambassadors, and those to whom Cyphers
are sent, but skilled in this
science, few blunders would be made
from that mystical manner of conveyance;
for the meaning, without
a key, would be as obvious to them,
as to the most profound decypherer of
them all.
Not that I would have this science
confined to political affairs;—No, its
utility is unbounded, and may be extended
with propriety and benefit to
every part of life, and every branch
of learning. It is a kind of natural
Logic, which I should be glad to see
adopted by our Universities in the
room of that jargon they at present
make us of; for as it consists in discovering
truth under borrowed appearances,
it may prove of wonderful advantage
to the Scholar in the pursuit
of his studies, by habituating the mind
to separate all foreign ideas, and consequently
preserving it from that grand
source of error, the being deceived by
false connections. And in common life
how necessary is it for a man to carry
this sort of knowledge about him?—Every
knave is an Ænigma that you
must unriddle before you can safely
deal with him, and every fool may
be fathomed. What is making love
but making riddles? And what else
are some of our treaties, and indeed
some of our laws? Even our gravestones
can't tell the naked truth:
tombs you see are sort of riddles!
a Politician is a walking Riddle; and
so is a Physician and his prescription
a professed Ænigma, intended only
to be solved by the Apothecary.———This
being the truth, then will any
man tell me, that the art of riddling
is not of the utmost consequence to
society?
I shall conclude this preface in the
words of a great author: As this
science contains the sum of all human
policy, and as there is no passage thro'
the world without sometimes mixing
with fools and knaves; who would
not chuse to be master of the ænigmatical
art, in order, on proper occasions,
to be able to lead aside craft
and impertinence from their aim, by
the convenient artifice of a prudent
disguise?
A
New RIDDLE BOOK.
While young I'm as gay as the maidens in May,
And when dress'd in my holiday cloaths,
Am the joy of the swains, and the pride of the plains,
And may vie with the belles and the beaux.
But my time's of short date, and so hard is my fate,
That when to full stature I'm grown,
I'm cut down by the lout, toss'd and tumbled about,
Till no signs of life can be shown.
Four wings I have,
Which swiftly mount on high
On sturdy pinions,
Yet I never fly;
And tho' my body often moves around,
Upon the self-same spot
I'm always found;
And, like a nurse who chews the infants meat,
I chew for man before that he can eat.
With words unnumber'd I a-bound,
In me mankind take much delight,
In me great store of learning's found,
Yet I can neither read nor write.
The world I view in little space
I'm restless, ever changing place
Nothing I eat, but by my pow'r,
Procure what all mankind devour.
My body is both plump and round,
With comely neck and breast,
No brighter creature would be found
Were I but oftner dress'd:
But daily I am wearied so
And my employment such,
Black as any negro go,
Nor scarce am fit to touch:
Upon my mistress morn and eve,
I constantly attend;
Yet many a blow and nick-name have,
Tho' I did ne'er offend.
When mortals are involv'd in ills,
I sing with mournful voice;
If mirth their hearts in gladness fills,
I celebrate their joys.
And as the lark with warbling throat,
Ascends upon the wing;
So I lift up my chearful note,
And as I mount I sing.
A tall and slender shape I bear,
Nor lady's skin's more white or fair:
My life is short, and doth decay
So soon it seldom lasts a day.
If in the evening brought to light,
I make my exit in the night;
Yet to mankind I'm useful ever,
And many hidden things discover;
Which makes all those who round me tend,
Oft with a sigh lament my end.
I'm of the same materials made as you,
Have native ignorance and beauty too;
But when I fly for safety to your arms,
You to a foreigner resign my charms;
He, to defile me thinks it no offence;
And rudely robs me of my innocence;
With inward rage I burn—but hug the foe,
And breathe out vengeance wherefo'er I go.
Nay, while thus lovingly we seem to agree,
I serve him just as Jove did Semele,
For e'er from me the thoughtless sot retires,
By my embrace consum'd he soon expires.
The HIGHWAY.
When Cæsar did this Isle invade,
I first experienc'd royal aid:
Nay, now to Majesty belong,
Tho' subject to the vulgar throng;
Who with uncivil usage treat,
And trample me beneath their feet;
With heavy burdens me oppress,
And money gain by my distress;
Yet all their insults I endure,
While they my given bruises cure:
I am in every country found,
And traverse all the kingdom round:
Say what's my name, that's so well known,
I am a common proverb grown.
I can money procure,
For the rich and the poor,
If I open my mouth pretty wide;
So that there's not a house,
Worth the skip of a louse,
But will for me a lodging provide;
Tho' with Tom, Will, or Bob,
I am licens'd to rob,
And plunder my country all over;
Yet, however unjust,
I keep true to my trust,
And ne'er will my patron discover:
When engag'd for the great,
Or the minions of state,
You'd be shock'd at the havock I make;
For I hack, cut, and slay,
Whate'er falls in my way,
And send it to hell for their sake.
The EYE-LIDS.
In courts or cottages we may be found;
Our skirts with fringe of various dyes are bound;
And as we were by providence design'd,
A guard from harm t' a fav'rite applejoin'd.
We ne'er rove long, nor far asunder stray,
But meet and part a thousand times a day:
When dark, like loving couples, we unite,
And cuddle close together every night.
TIME.
I was before the world began,
And shall for ever last;
Ere father Adam was a man,
Or out of Eden cast.
Your mirthful moments I attend,
And mitigate your grief;
Th' industrious peasant I befriend;
To pris'ners give relief.
Make much of me if you are wise,
And use me while you may;
For you will lose me in a trice,
As I for no man stay.
Tho' a cook, I'm so lean,
That my ribs may be seen,
Yet I care not a farthing for that;
For when victuals I dress,
All about me confess,
They are cover'd all over with fat.
No twins could e'er with us compare,
So like in shape and size;
Our bodies are like ermin fair
As black as jet our eyes:
But tho' so like in ev'ry feature,
We rival brothers be;
Yet so obdurate is our nature,
We often disagree.
Sometimes we play the friendly part,
And sometimes act the foe;
Now transient happiness impart,
Then cause a future woe:
Thousands by us have curs'd their fate,
Plung'd in the gulph of sin;
Happy the youth who shuns the bait,
And dreads the fatal gin.
A DOLL.
Like Lady Patch, in diff'rent dress,
I either sex can ape;
And like her, all mankind confess,
Have comeliness and shape:
Had she the innocence of me,
And I her air and parts,
She would a perfect goddess be,
And I should gain more hearts.
What though I have a hundred eyes,
Which my beholders may surprise,
Yet I could never see:
What if I fine and gay appear,
And sometimes gold and silver wear,
I'm slav'd by industry.
Both male and female me admire,
Or for my service or attire;
And I while young am priz'd.
But when I into years am grown,
And with hard labour quite worn down,
I am by both despis'd.
There was a thing a full month old,
When Adam was no more;
But 'ere that thing was five weeks old,
Adam was years five score.
Tho' you seem of me fond—for my safety provide,
And when you walk out take me close by your side;
Yet you oft use me ill, which I take in good part,
Nor e'er murmur or sigh though I'm stabb'd to the heart.
What being's most despis'd by man,
And does him all the good he can;
Who bore the greatest Prince on earth,
That gave to righteousness new birth;
Who does sometimes o'er death prevail,
And health restore when doctors fail.
We dwell in cottages of straw,
And labour much for little gains;
Sweet meat from us our masters draw,
And then with death reward our pains.
Great virtues have I,
There's none can deny,
And to this I shall mention an odd one;
When apply'd to the tail,
'Tis seldom I fail
To make a good boy of a bad one.
Two twins we are, and let it not surprise,
Alike in ev'ry feature, shape and size;
We're square or round, of brass or iron made,
Sometimes of wood, yet useful found in trade:
But to conclude, for all our daily pains,
We by the neck are often hung in chains.
A head and body large I have,
Stomach and bowels too;
One winding gut of mighty length,
Where all my food goes through;
But what's more strange, my food I take
In at the lower end;
And all, just like a drunken rake,
Out at my mouth I send.
What force and strength could not get through,
I with a gentle touch can do;
And many in the streets would stand,
Were I not as a friend at hand.
Homer of old, as stories tell,
His Iliad put in a nut-shell;
But did you know what I conceal,—
Suppose a kingdom, common weal,
At stake,—Here all the springs are found,
Which set the wheel a whirling round.
In me a thousand mischiefs lie,
A thousand pleasures I supply;
In me are bid affairs of state.
In me the secrets of the great;
In me the merchant lays his dust,
In me the tradesman puts his trust;
But hold—my being to explore,
Know I'm inanimate—no more.
Tho' light my body is and small,
Tho' I have wings to fly withal,
And thro' the air may rove;
Yet was I not by nature press'd
In ease and indolence I'd rest;
And never choose to move.
'Tis beating makes me diligent;
When beat and on an errand sent,
I hurry to and fro;
And like an idle boy in school,
Whom nothing but the rod can rule,
Improve at every blow.
With a badge on my back,
Of red, orange, and black,
I travel the nation all over,
And however abus'd,
Without violence us'd,
Will never my bus'ness discover;
I'm of service to state,
To the poor and the great,
To the tradesman, mechanic and beau;
Some of whom I attend
Ev'ry day as a friend,
But to others bring sorrow and woe:
All kindly receive me,
And you may believe me,
Scarce ever refuse me my pay;
For whoever does this,
Take it well or amiss,
With him not a moment I stay.
It foams without anger,
It flies without wings,
It cuts without edge,
And without tongue it sings.
In spring I look gay,
Deck'd in comely array,
In summer more cloathing I wear:
When colder it grows,
I fling off my cloaths,
And in winter quite naked appear.
Midst numbers round I spy'd a beauty fair,
More charming than her circling sisters were:
With blushing cheek she tempting of me stood,
At last I cropt her bloom and suck'd her blood;
Sweet meat she was, but neither flesh nor bone,
Yet in her tender heart she had a stone.
1.
I'm captain of a party small,
Whose number is but five;
But yet do great exploits, for all,
And ev'ry man alive.
2.
With Adam I was seen to live,
Ere he knew what was evil;
But no connexion have with Eve,
The serpent or the devil.
3.
I on our Saviour's Laws attend,
And fly deceit and vice;
Patriot and Protestant befriend,
But Infidels despise.
4.
Matthew and Mark both me have got;
But to prevent vexation,
St. Luke and John possess me not,
Tho' found in ev'ry nation.
My form is aukward, let me tell ye,
Long my legs and large my belly,
Webb'd my feet and short my waist,
My head with orb of glory grac'd;
My neck indented makes the show
Of breast protuberant below;
And what your wonder more commands
I use my feet instead of hands;
Tho' such my shape, my station's warm,
And many I preserve from harm;
So that the belles oft me caress,
And beaux sometimes my aid confess:
Hence learn that all things have their use,
That art or nature does produce.
Two bodies have I,
Tho' both join'd in one:
The stiller I stand,
The faster I run.
Why should I my features sham,
Why ugly to a proverb am,
Fierce, obdurate, cruel, strong,
Frightful to the old and young;
Yet, by early education,
Hit the taste of ev'ry nation,
Dance and exercise my staff;
But to make spectators laugh;
Often ride before the great,
Oft with ministers of state;
And tho' aukward is my mein,
I often on the stage am seen:
But to raise your wonder higher,
I to greater heights aspire;
At table I my Lord attend,
Please him and gratify his friend.
For vigilance and courage true
I've no superior, equals few;
Which makes me by th' industrious priz'd,
But by the indolent despis'd;
Bold and alert I meet the foe,
In all engagements valour show;
And if he proves too proud to yield,
One falls before we quit the field:
But tho' with these perfections great
I am endu'd—such is my fate;
They seize and to a stake me tie,
And bastinade me till I die.
I know my owner, serve my feeder,
But have no notion of my breeder;
Who sought the means to change my nature,
And from a fierce unruly creature,
Made me as useful to the nation,
As some who move in higher station;
For I, with gratitude abundant,
My owner's praise set forth redundant;
And fraught with virtues deem'd inherent,
May well be call'd the King's vicegerent;
As I his subjects render stronger,
And die that they may live the longer.
To king and subject I assistance lend;
In war a firm ally, in peace a friend;
To their diversions am a perfect slave,
At home submissive, but in battle brave;
When the shrill trumpet sounds I take the field,
Laugh at the pointed spear and glitt'ring shield;
Bold and intrepid meet the daring foe;
Willing and able to repeat the blow;
To peer or prelate I give health and ease;
The lady, merchant, and the peasant please:
Nay,—of such gen'ral use is my employment,
Without me life would scarce be worth enjoyment.