THE COPPERATION AT WINSER.

Oh, didn't the grand old Copperation have a grand treat last week at Winser! Her grashus Majesty the Queen asked 'em all down to her butiful Pallace to hear the sollem Recorder read to her their joyful feelings at the birth of her dear little Great Grand Son! And then, to the great joy of all on 'em, Her Majesty read such a delishus arnser as amost brort tears to the eyes of some of the young uns of the Party, and sent 'em away to the butiful Lunshon Room to refresh exhorsted natur with a delicate Lunch, and sum exkisit Madeary, such as King George the fourth is said to have saved xpressly for simmilar glorius ocasions.

Don't let it be supposed as I wants peeple to beleeve as I was there; but I had the hole account given by one as was, and I ain't ixagerated it not a bit.

There is a sertain Body of gents in London as ewidently wonts to play fust fiddel in the guvernment of our grand old City, but I havent heard of their being asked down to Winser Carsel to congratulate her Most Grayshus Magesty on the late appy ewent. Should they be so I should most suttenly make a pint of seeing 'em all start, if it were only out of curiosity to see what sort of State Mazerine Gownds they would all wear!

I had allmost forgot to menshun that the two Sherryffs, and the Chairman of the big Tower Bridge, was all benighted, and came out of the presents Chamber smiling like ancient Cherubs. I am told as how as the Copperation was so werry much delited with their royal wisit to royal Winser, that they has been and passed a werry similer wote of thanks to the Dook and Dutchess of York, and arsked them to receeve 'em jest the same as the Queen did, but they is both werry sorry to say, that their Pallis not being near so big as Her Majesty's, they hopes as only a small Deppytation of Aldermen and C. C.'s will attend.

Oh won't there be jest a rush for places, as every one on 'em is naterally anxious to show his loyelty on so hinteresting an ocasion, tho of course they carnt expec to have heverything exacly the same as they had at Royel Winser.

Robert.

OPERA NOTES.

Tuesday, July 17.—"The opera season will terminate July 30." To-night Verdi's opera of Aïda, "with the dotlets on the i." First appearance of Madame Adini, a spacious prima donna who amply fills the part. Giulia Ravogli an excellent Amneris. Opera apparently not particularly attractive, or more powerful attractions elsewhere.

Saturday, 21.—Pagliacci followed by new opera entitled The Lady of Longford, though it would have been more polite had the Pagliacci allowed the Lady to precede them. But Pagliacci will be Pagliacci. The Lady's Librettists are Sir Druriolanus Poeticus and Mr. F. E. Weatherly. The music is by Emil Bach. The Gentlemen of Longford are represented by Messrs. Alvarez and Edouard de Reszke, while the Lady, the big lady, is Emma Eames—"quite the lady"—and the little lady is Evelyn Hughes. This new Lady turns out to be our old friend the one-act drama by Tom Taylor entitled A Sheep in Wolf's Clothing, set to music, the comic characters being omitted, and the end made tragic instead of happy. The music does not entitle Bach to take a front seat. Emma Eames excellent; Fanny Hughes funny; Alvarez good; Jean de Reszke first-rate all-round-head Colonel, but more like a Cathedral than a Kirk. Composer and Librettists complimented; Mancinelli conducted; house full. General satisfaction.

Hard Case of "Evicted Tenants" in Drury Lane.—At a general assembly of the Theatre Royal Drury Lane Company of Proprietors last Wednesday, Mr. Chitty is reported to have observed that "after putting £300,000 into the building without receiving a farthing in return, they were now to have their money confiscated by the law, but in such circumstances as one would not have expected from a nobleman in the Duke of Bedford's position." Ahem! Why did not Sir Druriolanus arise and, remembering the Barber of Seville, sing "Chitty, Chitty, piano! piano!" But naturally the Drury Laneites must feel a bit hurt.

THE "GRAND NATIONAL" TRUST.

A Meeting has recently taken place at Grosvenor House to establish a National Trust, the idea being to preserve places of historic interest and natural beauty. Announced at the meeting that already a beautiful cliff had been promised by a lady. We understand the following promises have also been received:—

The Duke of W-stm-nst-r.—A very handsome ground-rent. Intended to support and sustain beautiful cliffs, &c.

The Duke of D-v-nsh-re.—Ch-tsw-rth, which, owing to recent legislation, he can no longer afford to keep up. Intends to take a small cottage, it is believed, at some inexpensive town on the East Coast. Several Distressed Dukes have also promised, on their death, to leave their estates to the Trust.

A Lover of Ozone.—A particularly bracing breeze. To be dedicated to the public for ever.

The London County Council.—The Shaftesbury Fountain. The L. C. C., we understand, welcomes the prospect of handing over to the Trust the responsibility attaching to this insoluble problem.

A Hertfordshire Gentleman.—A thoroughly reliable right of way.

Mr. Th-m-s B-ch-m.—A unique collection of signboards in situ. These are placed in the midst of the most lovely natural scenery, and in themselves will very soon, it is hoped, be of historic interest.

Sir Fr-d-r-ck P-ll-ck will arrange in every case to supply a good title.

Mr. Punch heartily commends so patriotic a scheme to his readers. Any beautiful cliffs, ground-rents, rights of way, &c., sent to him at 85, Fleet Street will immediately be forwarded to the proper quarter. N.B.—It is just possible an exception to this rule might be made in the case of ground-rents.

HOW IT IS DONE.

(An Art-Recipe.)

A Demi-French Octave.

(Picked up in a Dressing-room.)

In View of Holidays. A Hint.—Of course if you're on pedestrian tours bent—if you're a bicyclist you'll be still more bent—you cannot do better than, as a pedestrian, get Walker's Maps. If you are going to sail, or by steam, you are again referred to——"Walker, London." There is a good idea in these Maps which might be still further developed, and that is not only to show the route and the manner of making your journey, but by arrangement with the principal Steam-boat and Railway Companies some sort of "itinerary" might be added to the Map, with information as to the "means whereby," which to the toiler in search of a brief holiday "by rail, by river, or by sea," and perhaps by all three, would be most useful were it available as an almost "instantaneous process" of reference.

BISLEY.

Financial Problem (the effect of reading the Budget Debates).—Why is the Income-Tax so sharply felt? Because, disguise it as you may, it's a case of tin-tax!

London Knight By Knight.—The Solicitor-General Knighted last Wednesday at Windsor. Will Bob (the only name by which his many friends know him) henceforth be known as "the Queen's Shilling"?

RANELAGH IN RAIN.

WHAT'S IN A NAME INDEED?

A Company that ought to "Float."—"The Cork Company."

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday, July 16.—The Blameless B. is translated into the Breathless Bartley. Of eleven pages of Amendments to Budget Bill standing for consideration when House met to-day, not less than three contributed by this particular B. Embodied readjusted scale of graduated taxation. Only objections to it presently stated by Squire of Malwood: (1) It would necessitate total reconstruction of Bill (2) resulting in loss of £643,000; (3) whole question had been thoroughly threshed out in Committee. To raise it again at eleventh hour seemed too much to ask even in connection with Budget Bill.

Nevertheless Bartley, not yet breathless, moved his multitudinous Amendment. Resumed his seat with consciousness of man who had done his duty. The Squire would get up to answer him; debate would follow; at least two hours would be pleasantly occupied. Instead of Squire, Attorney-General rose. "Well," said Blameless, throwing himself into attitude of attention, "let's hear what he has to say."

Turned out to be exceedingly little. "Government scale has been attacked and defended many times," said Attorney-General. "I do not think it necessary to defend it again; but," here he leaned on the table with engaging look at the now Breathless Bartley, "the hon. gentleman can take a division if he thinks fit."

Bartley sat and audibly gasped. Jokim gallantly protested against this treatment of his hon. friend; threatened to move adjournment of debate. Prince Arthur sent for; arrived almost as breathless as Bartley; thunder boomed, lightning flashed round head of Attorney-General, who is always finding himself astonished. "The hon. and learned gentleman," said Prince Arthur, with delightful assumption of anger, "has abused the situation. The Opposition have no means of compelling him to talk sense, but talk he must."

Squire of Malwood, who had fled before prospect of long speech from Bartley, hastily brought back. Don't know where incident would have ended had it not been for Kenyon-Slaney. Finding opening he slipped in. Threw himself into easy oratorical attitude; proposed to consider principle of graduation adopted in Bill. Would do so under three heads: injustice to the poor, injustice to the middle-class, injustice to the rich.

This too much even for Opposition. With groans of despair they rushed into Division Lobby; Bartley's scheme negatived by majority of 62.

Business done.—Budget Bill passed Report stage.

Wednesday.—St. John Brodrick sitting on front Opposition Bench through Committee of Supply on Army Estimates this afternoon, invested neighbourhood with unwonted air of fashion. Not that there is, as a rule, any lack of style on part of Leaders of Opposition regarded as a body. Only something, je ne sais quoi, about Brodrick that suggested profoundest depths of Poole. Couldn't help complimenting him on his turn out.

"Evidently you spare no expense," I said; "though why even a millionaire should wear an overcoat a day like this seems wicked waste of property. Hope you are not growing desperate in anticipation of Death Duties; spending your money recklessly so that Harcourt may be disappointed when, for taxing purposes, he comes to aggregate your property?"

"My dear boy," said Brodrick, giving the overcoat a dexterous lift by the lappels that added fresh grace to its fit at the back of the neck, "you're out of it altogether. This is the thirteen-and-sixpenny coat supplied to Tommy Atkins in which,—following the advice of Dr. Johnson, wasn't it?—I, as I told the House the other day, took a walk down Bond Street. The surtout underneath, which I will fully display when the House gets a little fuller, cost seventeen-and-six net. You will observe it is so made that you can button it across and so save a waistcoat. If you must have a waistcoat, we can do it at eight-and-ninepence. As for trousers, these cost me thirteen shillings." (Here he stretched out and fondly regarded a manly leg.) "If I had taken a couple of pair, cut at the same time you know, I could have had the two for 25s. I see your eyes fixed on the boots. As you say, the shape of the foot may have something to do with it. But apart from that, the article is equal to what you pay thirty-five shillings for in Regent Street or Piccadilly. Eleven-and-ninepence was the figure. Misfits, very popular with privates newly joined, knock off the odd ninepence. Of course I don't wear this suit every day. Can't afford that; put 'em on whenever House in Committee on Army Supply or debate going forward on Army matters. It encourages Cawmell—Bannerman, you know; helps Woodall in getting his clothing vote; and, I believe, is rather liked by Tommy Atkins."

Business done.—Squire of Malwood announces programme for remainder of Session. A mere nothing. Only, as Prince Arthur says, in view of number of Bills and their contentious character, more like what we are accustomed to at beginning of Session, than to have dumped down in what should be its last month.

Thursday.—"Joseph," said the Member for Sark, dropping into one of his tiresome didactic moods, "would do well in any circumstances. Whether in Upper Egypt or Lower, he was sure to come to the top of the well, however securely his brethren might have packed him in its lowest depths. But, regarding him just now as he criticised the Squire's arrangements for the Session, I could not help thinking what a loss the auction-room has only partially survived by his turn into the field of politics. If in early life, or even middle age, he had only taken to the rostrum, the shade of the much over-rated Robins would have been dimmed in glory. Observe how well he looks the part. See with what unconscious effect he produces a stumpy piece of lead pencil, and looks round for bids. Listen to the clear sharp notes of his voice. 'What shall we say, gentlemen, for the Equalisation of Rates Bill? How many days will you give for it? Name your own time, gentlemen. There is no reserve. Shall we say six days? Does the tall, somewhat stout gentleman with a white waistcoat, on the Treasury Bench, shake his head? Very well, we will say four days. Going at four days;' and the pencil, scratching out six, substitutes four. This may seem very easy when it's done; but it's art, Toby, even genius. If you think it's easy for a man discussing State business, suddenly but completely to invest the high court of Parliament with the tone and atmosphere of an auction-room, just reckon up how many other men of first rank in public life could do it. Not to go further afield, could Prince Arthur manage it, even after a week's training? Very well; then don't minimise a successful effort because, thanks to the commanding influence of native talent, its accomplishment seems easy to a particular person."

Business done.—Hicks-Beach, complaining that Ministers have dropped a large number of Bills for lack of time to pass them, and asserting that the time remaining at their disposal for passing the poor balance is too short, reduces it by three hours, in order that he and his friends may lament the fact.

Friday.—House heard with keen satisfaction that Szlumper is around again. Not having seen in the newspapers any telegrams from him lately, there was vague idea that he had succumbed to his exertions on occasion of the happy event at White Lodge. Perhaps he was a little fatigued, for Szlumper, in addition to being Mayor of Richmond, is almost human. No man born of woman could with impunity fire off such a succession of telegrams as on that memorable day Szlumper dealt out to his Sovereign, the Heir Apparent to the Throne, the Crowned Heads of Europe, and his ducal neighbours at the White Lodge. But on Royal Christening day Szlumper was around again, with a little Szlumper carrying a bouquet of flowers to be presented to the Queen, whilst Szlumper père, plumped on his knees, welcomed his Sovereign within the gateway of ancient Richmond.

"Ah, ce Szlumper!" said Sark, "he delights me more and more. He represents, if you think of it, the essence of our English social life. He is part of the foundation of the British Constitution, which everyone, especially those regarding it from a distance, regards as the perfection of good government."

Business done.—A dull night speechmaking on Irish Evicted Tenants Bill.

OXFORD AND YALE.—(July 16.)

Rise, Sir!

"We are informed that the Queen has been pleased to confer the honour of a Baronetcy on Dr. John Williams, of Brook Street. Dr. Williams is the Physician who attended the Duchess of York."—Daily Paper, July 16.

We congratulate Sir John, who is now a Sur-geon in every sense of the word.