Ben Trovato Again.—When the Papal Envoy arrived, His Eminence had several mansions placed at his disposal. The one he fancied most was that offered by Mr. H. Labouchere, M.P., with the appropriate designation of "Pope's Villa, Twickenham."

A Hard-worked Official.

As to the Mission of Monsignor Persico to Ireland, an Horatian Nationalist wrote—"Persico's odi." And he probably does dislike it.

THE LAST VISIT (BUT ONE) TO THE ACADEMY.

A grand flare-up on Thursday last. A Jubilee Soirée worthy of the Jubilee Year and the Royal Academicians. Kings, Queens, Royal Highnesses, Grand Dukes and Duchesses have become so common this Jubilee month, that, when some blasé and well-seasoned Londoner is asked who such and such a decorated person is, he languidly replies, "Oh! only a King, or something of that sort."

There was a private Royal Night on Wednesday, when only Royalty and The Forty R.A.'s were present,—"The Forty" did something in the oil and colour line, as we gather from The Arabian Nights, revised edition, by Lady Burton,—and, of course, Mr. Punch, who is everywhere on every occasion, and who, in a general way, represents H.R.H. Everybody.

On Thursday night, T.R.H. Everybody and Everybody Else were present, and the scene was brilliant. Sir Frederick, a Prince among Presidents and a President among Princes, graciously welcomed the guests. He was assisted by Sir Everett Millais and Treasurer Horsley, who appeared rather weary, perhaps tired of counting the shillings, or worried by the uncertainty of the monetary value of the Boehm silver currency.

The Queen of the Pictures is still Professor Herkomer's Lady in black with the long gloves. She lingers in our memory, and will do so for many a long day. May we never see her in propriâ personâ, or disappointment might be our dole. The Lady in the picture cannot age. Even amidst all the living breathing beauty collected within those walls on Thursday last, the Lady on the wall, if we may so put it, "took the cake,"—though she didn't take it all, as there was plenty left for Miss Mary Anderson, Miss Dorothy Dene, and some other charming ladies. One more visit to the Royal Academy, and then the Show for 1887 will have passed away. Then, after a brief holiday, the Artists will be again at work, according to their individual taste and fancy, taking (lucky gourmets!) each one just what best suits his palette. Au revoir!

HIBERNIA TO THE QUEEN.

The Wild West Kensington Indians were not permitted to go to Henley last week. It was thought that the sight of so many sculls would be too much for them, and that they would immediately want to scalp everybody. Why doesn't the Honourable Colonel Buffalo Bill Cody engage "Squash," and give him a show on a buck-jumper? Something amusing is wanted to enliven the Wild West Scenes in the Circle, and "Squash" is just the sort of droll required.

GOG AND MAGOG AT THE BALL.

The President and Fellows having, at a recent meeting at South Kensington, by their Resolutions shown, spite their difficulties, a disposition to ride the high horse, their body will henceforth be known as the Royal Haughty-cultural Society.

ROBERT AT THE AMERICAN EXHIBITION.

I've paid my second wisit to this most emusing place, and have to report a grate improvement in its inside, witch is gradawally a filling up like an hungry Alderman at a nice rich fust class dinner.

But this time I paid speshal attention to the outside emusements, and them as carnt find no fun and xcitement in them, had better go off at wunce to the Amerrycan Bar for a "Coaxer," and that, as I found, will soon pick him up. I never saw such a site as Bufferlow Bill's Wild West in South Kensington, the werry recklekshun of it sets me off so that I must pull myself together with one of Bertram's "Brighton Steadiers," or I shall get too exsited to write strait.

Well, I spose it was because they was jest a little late that the whole blooming lot of 'em, Amerrycans and Cow Boys, and Mexicans and Injians with their Squalls and Porposes, and Gals a riding like gals generally rides, and Gals a riding like men, all cum a galloping in at such a whirling pace that it litorally took away all my pore breth, and they screamed as they galloped, and their crimson and blue and scarlet and yeller clokes all shone in the sunlight and fluttered in the breeze, and when they came jest in front of me, where I was setting with dignerty in a reserwed seat at the small charge of 1s., they pulled up bang, as if they was all shot, and all sat as still as mice.

Well, then we had a hole carrywan of settlers for life attacked as they was agoing quietly along by a hole army of wild Injians, and defended by Bufferlow Bill and his bold Cow Boys, and a grand fight it was. Plenty of firing, but not enuff execushun for to friten the ladies, for the jest a few was killed in the dedly combat, they all got up and rode away after the battle was over; so I spose as they was ony shamming jest to deceeve the enemy.

Curiosity, which is the Waiter's weekness, makes me inquire, why so many Cow Boys when there aint not no Cows? We wound up with a Bufferlow hunt, but as the animals was jest as uncurry-combed and as dirty as afore, I gammoned Mrs. Robert, who was with me, that it was ardly a site for a reel dellycat lady to witness, so we went off to see the Toboggening, and grate fun it was to look at. But, to my extreme estonishment nothink wood do but Mrs. Robert must try it, and, in spite of all my remonstrances, I presently found myself a seated with my bitter arf on the top of an high hill, about to be launched hedlong on our wild career with ony a piece of rope to guide us and nothink to stop us. Oh, that dedly moment of hezitashun! and then the rush through the hair with sitch litening speed as made Mrs. Robert give jest a little squeal. How any sane person having wunce tried this new game, which recalled to fond memory the sensashun of my fust swing, can wish to repeat the dose, I carnt understand. He suttenly ought to have the stummuck of a Horsestrich rather than of a Halderman. The fond partner of my fate having a little hedake after her rash xperryment, which she insisted upon declaring was owing to the rifle-shooting, I adwised her to leave the noisy scene and seek the cumfort of her quiet home, promising to jine her hurly, so she went. I was afterwards asked to try the Switch-back Railway, but learning from a prewious wictim as how the sensation reminded him of the fust time as he crossed the Channel, I declined with thanks.

Hoping to meet with the Kernel who had promised to introduce me to the Hon. Mr. William Bufferlow, Esquire, wulgerly called Bufferlow Bill, I sauntered round to the Injians encampment, but was there told he had gone to dine with some other Savages at the Savage Club, so I coudn't see him. Howsumever I fell into conwersation with one of the tip-top managers, and he introduced me to sum of the principal Braves, as they calls 'em, and their Squaws, and porposes. They was worry affable and perlite, as I'm told as all reel savages is, but I carnt say much for their hartistick taste. There was one savage lady with a savage dorter and a pickaninny about rising four, as grately surprised me. The yung lady wood have bin werry good looking if her Ma had let her alone, but she had painted her two cheeks such a brite skarlet that skarlet runners is nothing to 'em, and as for the pore little chap his hole face was painted a greenish yeller, like a werry bad case of jarndice, and all his air a brite green. But such is my natral perliteness, that when his fond Ma held him up to me and said, "Lookee, lookee, ain't him Booty?" I said, "Oh! yessee, yessee!" I didn't dare to kiss it, for fear its face wood have stuck to mine, witch woudn't ha bin nice.

I spent a werry plessent evening with the principle performers such as Red Shirt, and Cut Meat, and sum others, and whenever the conwersashun flagged I surgested a adjurnment to the Amerrycan Bar, and we allus tried a new drink, and this I will say for my forren frends that they took them all with the same coolness as if they had been the native drinks of the Far West End. The larst one we tried was called "A Yard of flannel," and for warmth and cumfort it was well-named, but somehows I fancy it must ha bin rayther a staggerer, for I remember werry little of what took place afterwards. But I have sum dim recklekshun of playing at cards with two Chiefs and a Squaw, and that one of them had a dress on sumthink like a porky-pine with his squills, and that I lost my money, and that sum familyer voice said, "Why, Robert, you've lost your Injian Rubber!" at witch we all larfed. How I got home I don't werry well remember, but I do remember, and shall probberbly never forget, the werry warm recepshun I met when at length I arrived there, or the nex morning's hed hake. I don't think I shall try "a yard of flannel," again in an hurry.

Robert.

The Children's Nautical Festival.

On the occasion of the Great Naval Review, Lord Charles Beresford, remembering Mr. Edward Lawson's Hyde Park success, intends to stand treat to all the Buoys round the Coast. The Best Buoy will receive a present from Her Gracious Majesty.

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM

THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

Old Morality and his colleagues on the Treasury Bench began to grow uneasy. No saying where Campbell's list might end. Fergusson whispered to and nudged till, propped on his feet, he feebly urged that Moderator of Free Church of Scotland does not come under the category of a Foreign Potentate. A poor quibble this. But Campbell generously disinclined to push his advantage, and Government escaped immediate defeat.

Growing excitement as Division on John Morley's Amendment restricting duration of Act to three years approached. Ritchie has invented new way of taking Division. Members as anxious to try it as nursery of children to handle new toy. At first some little difficulty in understanding it. Members crowded round Ritchie and asked how it was done.

"Nothing easier or clearer," he said. "There are six doors, which we will call A, B, C, D, E, and F. As soon as division bell rings, F is closed. B is left half open. Members voting 'Aye' pass through the A door and meet the 'Noes' coming through D. A and C are then simultaneously shut. If B is open, the 'Ayes' and the 'Noes,' having seen E closed, form in one stream, pass through, and there you are. Don't you see?"

Everybody saw quite clearly. Quite a pleasure to see Isaac Holden (etat. eighty, but full of youthful vigour) starting off to try the new experiment. Got through all right. But, half an hour later, Gilbert Greenall found in recesses of ventilating cellars, where, he said, he was "looking for door E."

Business done.—Report on Coercion Bill.

Tuesday.—Wilfrid Lawson made admirable suggestion to-night. Proposes that, when titles or honours are conferred upon anyone, a statement should accompany announcement, setting forth the public services on account of which the honour has been conferred. It is so done in respect of Victoria Cross. List of Honours conferred in connection with Jubilee show the necessity of extending custom.

"Who's he?" said Sir Borthwick, Bart., looking down the Gazette when it came out. "Never heard of him, nor him either. I seem to be really the only distinguished person in the lot."

List notable not only for what it includes but for what it omits. House of Commons united in expectation of one recognition, looked for in vain. If "Barnets" were to be made in Jubilee time, why was Joseph Gillis overlooked? This thought in everyone's mind, as Joey B. turned up to-night telling in a division against the Government. His public appearance now so rare that its recurrence was an event. Since he came into possession of Castle Butlerstown the alteration, long-working, made sudden and complete advance. His moustache, now past the indefinite stage, is an unquestionable reality, and to see Joey B. twirling it à la Randolph, is a delight to the quiet mind. Joseph feels his new responsibilities. When reproached by Tim Healy with his excessive respectability he is not moved.

"It's all very well for you, Tim, to be brow-beating the Speaker, interrupting Hon. Members opposite, moving the adjournment and the like. But it's different for a man who has a Castle, a drawbridge, a moat, and a moustache."

Characteristic infelicity on the part of the Government to have neglected this opportunity of recognising a reformed character. Joey B. is now a credit to the House. It would have been to the credit of the Government had his friends been able to hail him as Sir Joseph Gillis Biggar, Bart., of Butlerstown Castle.

Business done.—Coercion Bill again.

Thursday.—"He! he!" said Old Morality, his white teeth shedding pale light over Treasury Bench. "Capital joke! Hope they'll often repeat it."

Capital it was, and so unexpected, too. Secret admirably kept, and sprung upon amazed House with marvellous effect. After questions, O. M. moved Resolutions providing for discussion on Report Stage of Coercion Bill being peremptorily closed at Seven o'Clock on Monday night.

"The Early Closing Association," said Sir Wilfrid Lawson, looking across at Noble Lords and Right Hon. Gentlemen arrayed on Treasury Bench in support of this Motion.

Parnellites of course hostile to Motion. But more particularly enraged because O. M. in moving it had not spoken single sentence.

"Come, come," said John Dillon, "this is too bad. If we are to lose our liberties, let us, at least, have a speech in support of the proposition."

But O. M. obdurately silent, and debate kept up for three hours from Opposition side. Then Division taken, and Motion carried by majority of a round hundred. After this, Ministers looked forward to another wearisome evening, with Friday to follow, and more talk through Monday up to fatal Seven o'Clock. Here's where the joke came in. The Opposition, returning from Division Lobby after voting on Closure Proposition, continued their march through the House and cleared out by the door. Ministers watched process with amazement, growing into apprehension, and finally broadening into a grin of delight as the joke flashed upon them. Having given Government the trouble of preparing, moving and carrying Resolution, fixing closure of debate on Monday evening, Irish Members not going to debate at all! The Government might take their Report Stage; which they did, and before you could say "W. H. Smith," the Report Stage of the Coercion Bill was agreed to, and House, scarcely recovered from surprise, was engaged upon miscellaneous business of the Orders of the day.

Friday, Midnight.—Since dinner-time there has been exhilarating scene in Palace Yard. Nearly every 'bus that has passed has dropped a Duchess at the gate. Four-wheelers, conveying Countesses, have regularly filed in; whilst, what Sir Robert Peel would call "Noble Baronesses," have arrived on foot. As distinguished Novelist somewhere writes, "Lo! a strange thing has happened." On ordinary days House of Lords, which commences public business at 5·30, adjourns about 5·37. At this hour of midnight House still sitting, and no sign of Adjournment. Irish Land Bill under debate. Subject irresistible to Noble Lords. Have foregone their late afternoon drive in the Park. More than one has patriotically dined on a chop.

A flush of honest pride mantles many a noble countenance. All very well for the Commons to boast of their long sittings; but see what the Peers can do when duty calls! At first a little consternation at the arrivals from without. But even that turns out well. There were stories of anxious wives communicating with House of Commons during All-night Sittings, and finding errant husbands not there. But here are Noble Lords unflinchingly serving their country, remaining at their post, whate'er betide.

A beautiful and a soothing sight, which affects to tears some of the Commons, who sit in the Gallery, and look down upon it.

Business done.—Lords pass Report Stage of Irish Land Bill.

"HOME, SWEET HOME!"

"The welcome cry, 'Who goes home' sounds like a melancholy dirge through the rapidly-emptying lobbies."—Mr. Osborne Morgan, M.P., in the "Nineteenth Century."

CRICKET AT LORD'S.

Hits by Dumb Crambo, Jun.

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