Curtain rises disclosing the same scene. Three long sheets hang on the line, reaching down to the floor and extending clear across the stage. The children are behind the sheets. The line is about three and one-half feet high. The table sets obliquely in front of the door at R. It is covered with a sheet or long cloth reaching to the ground. Patsy and Teddy form the dwarf. Patsy, coatless, has a long pair of striped stockings on over his arms, and a pair of shoes on his hands, ornamented on insteps with large rosettes. Teddy stands behind him and thrusts his arms as far as they will go under Patsy's armpits. A kind of a tunic covers both. Wear a large crimped frill or an enormous turned-down collar.
Patsy stands behind table and places his shoe-clad hands upon it, which represent the feet of the dwarf. The door curtains are fastened together a few inches above his head, concealing Teddy.
Patsy must lean slightly over the table or the legs will not appear to support the body.
When the curtain is up, enter Matsy from L. dressed as a Showman.
Matsy (bows to audience, speaks in a loud voice, using megaphone).
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Come and see Jumbo, Samson symbolical! Come and see Slivers, Clown really comical! Come and see Zip, the foremost of freaks! Come and see Palestine's Sinister Sheiks! Eager Equestriennes, each unexcelled, Most mammoth menagerie ever beheld, The Giant, the Fat Girl, the Lion-faced Man, Aerial Artists from far-off Japan, Audacious Acrobats shot from a gun, Don't miss the greatest show under the sun! |
Now, if you will kindly lend me your ears for a moment, I will fill them free of charge with a few words concerning the world's greatest assortment of marvelous monstrosities. In the first cell we have Senor Macaroni Spaghetti from the land of the banana. The senor is thirty-nine inches high, and, strangely enough, thirty-nine years old, to say nothing of the fact that he weighs thirty-nine pounds. (Patsy scratches his nose with his foot.) He arrived last week by parcel post to join our circus. The senor is looking for a wife. Oh, you needn't laugh! It's true. Some of you near-sighted ladies should have brought magnifying glasses, for Senor Macaroni Spaghetti is the smallest speck of humanity that ever lived in captivity. He stands on a silver dollar and puts his hand in a thimble. (Teddy makes funny gestures during this entire speech.) The senor will now entertain you in his entertaining way.
Patsy (sings).
(Music on page 107)
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Me name is Spaghetti, I came o'er the sea, To visit this land from old Italy, I have a small monkey, he jumps with a string, And if he was here to you he would sing: (Dances.) Tee-oodle, dum-doodle, dum-doodle, dum day! |
(Repeat until end.)
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I once fell in love with the sweet Antoinette, She say she will marry the little Spaghett, But she said she no like-a a hand-organ man, So I stand on the corner and sell-a banan. (Dances.) Tee-oodle, dum-doodle, dum-doodle, dum day! |
(Repeat until end.)
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I wed Antoinetta and live in a flat, I buy-a fine clothes and a big silk-a hat, I make-a much money and this little gent, He maybe some day will be big President. (Dances.) Tee-oodle, dum-doodle, dum-doodle, dum day! |
(Repeat until end.)
Matsy. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'll call your attention to the seven little Sunbonnet babies. Behold them, them famous Mulligan twins. (Exits L.)
The heads of Nora, Micky, Bridget, Mary Ann, Melissa, Clarissa and Peter appear above the sheets at rear. Each wears a large sunbonnet. They sing to the tune "Tramp, Tramp, Tramp!"
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Little Mulligans are we, and our hearts are light and free, For it's Christmas Eve and soon we'll be in bed, We're peculiar little folks, full of jollity and jokes, And you ought to see us stand upon our head! Tramp, tramp, tramp, we'll soon be marching, We are going off to bed, But before we leave you now, Each of us will show you how Little Mulligan can stand upon her head. |
(All disappear under sheet. They repeat chorus and hold up their arms above the sheet. The arms are covered with stockings and shoes are on their hands. They slap hands together, making feet dance, etc.)
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Tramp, tramp, tramp, we'll soon be marching, We are going off to bed, But before we leave you now, Each of us will show you how Little Mulligan can stand upon her head. |
(Repeat.)
Mrs. Mulligan (from audience). Nora! Bridget! Mary Ann! What do ye mane! You'll kill yourselves entirely. (Rushes to the stage, followed by Mrs. O'Toole.) If you stand on your head like that, all your brains will rush down into your fate.
Nora (head above curtain). That's the way they did in the show. (All come out on stage.)
Mrs. O'Toole. Well, well, well, wonders will never cease. Sure, I niver spint such a fine Christmas Eve in all me life before.
Mrs. Mulligan (stands C. facing audience, surrounded by the ten children.) Sure, I think we've had a fine Christmas celebration, don't you? And before ye go let this sink down deep in your hearts and minds—it doesn't take money and fine clothes and costly gifts to make a fine Christmas at all, at all. All it takes is loving hearts and loving hands, and merry faces of happy boys and girls. We didn't have any money—but you see what a lovely time we've had—and it's all because the spirit of Christmas was in our hearts—and the spirit of Christmas means love, and love is the greatest thing in all the world. Merry Christmas to all of yeez, and may ye never regret the time you spent Christmas Eve with the ten little Mulligans.
Curtain.
The scenery is very simple or may be dispensed with entirely. Entrances R. and L. and a window at the rear are necessary. An old table stands in front of the window, and a larger table, also old, stands down R. Several soap boxes are down L. and these with an upturned bucket serve as seats for the Mulligans.
An old rag carpet covers the floor. A wash-tub, with wash-board, clothes, etc., stand at C. Two rickety chairs are on the stage, one R.C. and one L.C., the latter a rocking-chair. The larger table is covered with a well worn red cloth and supports an old-fashioned lighted lamp.
Several tin cans, filled with bright flowers, stand on the table in front of the window. Curtains or bed comforts are draped over the door at R. An old sofa stands up L. Colored prints adorn the walls.
A clothes line runs across the stage at rear. On this line several garments are drying, bright stockings, a union suit, red flannels, etc. Remember the scene is laid in Mulligan Alley and the stage must be arranged according to Mulligan taste.
Mrs. Mulligan—Powdered hair, parted in middle and combed over ears, somewhat unkempt. Well worn, old-fashioned cloth waist, with sleeves rolled up and open in the neck. Skirt of contrasting color. The skirt is turned up, showing flannel petticoat. Unstarched and rather soiled dark gingham apron, of ample proportions, but without bib. Hair twisted in knob at the back of head. Large, old shoes.
Matsy and Patsy—Long, tattered trousers, old suspenders, large, well worn shoes, calico shirts, torn and patched. Bright calico neckties. Caps. In Act III Matsy wears a large black mustache, a long black coat, much too large, and a stiff hat three sizes too big, while Patsy wears the dwarf's tunic and has his face made up yellow, with rouge on cheeks.
Teddy and Micky—Short trousers, well worn and patched. Striped stockings. Old shirts.
Nora and Bridget—Ankle skirts, waists of a different color. Bright calico bows. Large hair ribbons.
Mary Ann, Melissa and Clarissa—Short skirts. Striped stockings. Old shoes. Funny hats and waists.
Peter Pan—Calico slip. Baby's hat.
Mrs. O'Toole—Old-fashioned walking dress of bright colors. Shawl and little bonnet. Red wig, if desired.
characters
As presented by Class No. 10, Wesley Chapel, Columbus, Ohio. Re-written from memory.
| The Wishing Man | Young Man |
| The Roly-Poly Dumpling | Stout Young Man |
| The Attenuated Tootsy | Tall, Thin Young Man |
| The Enlarged Snookums | Young Man |
| Grandpa Green | Boy of Fourteen or Fifteen |
| Grandma Green | Plump Girl of same age |
| Father Fritz | Boy of about Fourteen |
| Mother Fritz | Girl of about Fifteen |
| Nurse Maid | Girl of about Thirteen |
| Dumpling | Boy of Eight |
| Tootsy | Girl of Seven or Eight |
| Snookums | Boy of Six or under |
| Ka-zin-ski | Tall Boy |
| Teddy Bear | Small Boy |
| Jimmie Bear | Small Boy |
| Baby Jumbo | Made of Two Larger Boys |
| Annette | Little Girl |
| Babette | Little Girl |
| Olivette | Little Girl |
| Private Black | Little Boy |
| Private Jack | Little Boy |
| Private Mack | Little Boy |
| Jim Dandy, a Stick of Candy | Little Boy |
Time of Playing—About Forty-five Minutes.
Scene: A room in Father Fritz's house. Doors at R. and L. Small table down L. with three chairs around it. Sofa down R. Easy chair down C. Lighted lamp on table. Window at rear. Dumpling is seated on a rocking-horse at rear C. Grandpa stands by him helping him rock it. Tootsy is on a rocking-horse at L. front, with Father and Mother helping her rock it. Snookums is on a baby rocking-horse at R. front, with Grandma and Nurse Maid in attendance. Very little furniture on stage. If the rocking-horses are not easy to get, Dumpling and Tootsy may be astride of sticks with horses' heads.
Curtain rises to bright music.
All (sing).
Hop, Hop, Hop!
Hop, Hop, Hop!
Dumpling (dismounting). Whoa, there, Jimmie! Oh, Grandpa, I do love my pony. It's the best of all my presents.
Grandpa. Well, it's time you put him in his stall.
Tootsy (dismounting). I'm going to call my pony after Mr. ——. (Insert the name of some well known man.) 'Cause he looks just like him.
Grandma (helping Snookums from pony). And what are you going to call your pony, Snookums?
Snookums. Going to call him Elizabeth, after you, Grandma.
Grandma (kisses her). That's my baby!
Mother. Grandma, we'd better get our hats and coats. It's nearly time for the car to be after us.
Father. Come, Grandpa. It's nearly eight o'clock.
Grandpa. But I don't like to leave the children.
Dumpling. And we don't like to have you leave us, either. My, this has been the grandest Christmas day I've ever seen.
Mother. Come, Grandma. (Exits L. with Grandma.)
Grandpa. Come, children. (They gather around him.) I'm glad you've had such a happy Christmas. You got everything you wanted, didn't you?
Tootsy. Yes, everything. My, I wish Christmas would come every day.
Dumpling. Tell us the story about old Saint Nick, Grandpa.
Grandpa. Do you want to hear that old chestnut again?
Children. Oh, yes, yes!
Grandpa (takes Snookums on his lap, the other children stand by his knee.)
Children. Oh, that was just lovely.
Tootsy. I just wish I could see him. Just once!
Dumpling. And so do I. I'm going to catch him some Christmas Eve.
Snookums. Me, too!
Enter from L., Mother and Grandma, wearing winter coats and hats. They carry coats and hats for Father and Grandpa.
Mother. Here, Grandpa, put on your coat and hat, or we'll be late for the dinner. (Helps him.)
Grandpa. I'd rather stay here and talk to the children.
Father (putting on his coat). But Aunt Clara is expecting us.
Grandma. And the auto is at the door.
Grandpa. Dumpling, are you sure you got everything you wanted for Christmas?
Dumpling. I can't think of anything else.
Grandpa. If you didn't, and if all three of you children can agree on anything else, it shall be yours if money can buy it.
Tootsy. Money can buy everything, can't it, Grandpa?
Grandpa. No, my dear, not quite everything.
Dumpling. But suppose we wish for something that money can't buy?
Grandpa. I'd try to get it for you some other way.
Grandpa. Why, I'd tell the Wishing Man. He'd get it for you.
Grandma. Come along, John; don't put such nonsense in the children's heads.
Father. We must hurry along to Aunt Clara's, children. But this is Christmas night. You may all stay up tonight just as long as you wish.
Dumpling. Oh, can we? Can we?
Mother. Yes. Cecelia will look after you. Cecelia?
Nurse Maid. Of course I will, mum.
Mother. Come along, now. We must hurry. (Kisses the children and goes out R. with Grandma, Grandpa and Father.)
Tootsy (dancing around). Oh, we can stay up just as long as we wish! Goody, goody! Why that is the very best gift of all.
Nurse Maid. Now you children be good, and if you want me, call out. I'll be down in the kitchen with the cook. (Goes out at L.)
Dumpling. Now we're left all alone.
Tootsy. I don't see why Aunt Clara couldn't have invited us to her dinner party, too.
Snookums (playing with doll). Snookums likes dinner party.
Dumpling. It's 'cause we ain't big enough.
Tootsy. My, I wisht I was a great, great, great big girl.
Dumpling. There, that's a wish that money can't buy.
Tootsy. Grandpa said he'd get us anything we wished for.
Dumpling. What do you wish, Snookums?
Snookums. Wish Grandpaw would come home.
Tootsy. I know a real good wish. I wish it were Christmas every day. Don't you, Dumpling?
Dumpling. No, I don't. We'd have to have a present and a tree and a turkey and plum pudding every day of our lives. We'd get awfully tired of it after a while. Just think, we'd have to give away about a million presents every year.
Tootsy. I'll tell you what I really do wish.
Dumpling. What?
Tootsy. I wish we could do just like grown up folks do. I wish I was the biggest little girl in all the world.
Dumpling. And I wish so, too. I wish we were just awfully, awfully, awfully big—and then we could go to Aunt Clara's dinner party, and everywhere.
Snookums. Me wish me was great big Snookums.
Tootsy. But money couldn't buy that wish, Dumpling.
Dumpling. No, that's right. But Grandpa said if he couldn't buy our wish he'd get it some other way.
Tootsy. How could he get it?
Dumpling. He said he'd tell the Wishing Man.
Tootsy. My, I wonder if there really is such a person!
Dumpling. I don't know. But I'd like to see him if there is.
Tootsy. I'll make a rhyme.
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Good Mr. Wishing Man, how do you do? If there is such a person, we'd like to see you! |
Dumpling.
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If you come from afar, if you come from near, Good Mr. Wishing Man, appear, appear! |
The Wishing Man rolls out from under the table, rises, faces the three children, arms akimbo.
Wishing Man (after a pause, drawls). Well?
Dumpling and Tootsy (frightened, down R.). Well? (They look at each other, pause, then repeat.) Well!
Snookums (comes in front of them, stands facing the Wishing Man, arms akimbo). Well?
Wishing Man. Well, I'm here.
Dumpling. Who's here?
Wishing Man. Why, I am here. You said you would like to see me and so I have come. I'm here.
Tootsy. Are you the Wishing Man?
Wishing Man. That's my name. (Sings to the tune of "Wearing of the Green." He sings briskly, shaking head in time and dancing a step or two.)
Dumpling. And can you really grant us anything we wish for?
Wishing Man. I can, if it's a good wish—and if you all agree on the same thing.
Tootsy. Anything in the wide, wide world?
Wishing Man. Well, pretty nearly anything. Would you like some new toys?
Tootsy. Oh, no, thank you. This is Christmas, you know, and we got ever so many toys.
Snookums. Ever so many toys.
Wishing Man. I don't see what you called me for. You seem to have everything you want.
Dumpling. Oh, no, we haven't. We've made a wish, and we're all agreed on it.
Wishing Man. Are you sure it's a good wish?
Dumpling. Oh, yes, it's an awful good wish. You see, we want to be great big children so we can stay up late at night and go to Aunt Clara's dinner parties. That's our wish. We want to be the biggest children there are anywhere.
Wishing Man (laughs heartily). Oh, ho, ho, ho! That's the funniest wish I ever heard since I've been in the wishing business. So you want to be the very biggest children there are anywhere, do you?
Tootsy. Yes, sir; that's just what we want. I want to be a great, big, tall little girl.
Wishing Man (laughing). A great, big tall little girl, hey?
Dumpling. And I want to be a great, big, big, big little boy.
Wishing Man. Oh, a big, big, big little boy, hey?
Snookums. And so do I.
Wishing Man. And so do you, hey?
Children. Yes, sir; that is our wish.
Wishing Man. Well, I'll have to see if I can accommodate you. It's a pretty big job, you know.
Tootsy. You said you could give us anything we wished for.
Wishing Man. But I didn't think you'd wish for anything like that.
Dumpling. That's the only thing we want, Mr Wishing Man.
Wishing Man (rubbing his chin and speaking thoughtfully). Well, now—let me see. I'm afraid it's too big a job for me. In the first place I haven't any marble.
Children. Marble?
Wishing Man. Yes. In order to make you grow and grow and grow, you'll have to stand on marble.
Tootsy. We have a marble-top table in the front hall.
Dumpling. Oh, yes. And we can all stand on top of the table.
Wishing Man. But I have to stand here by the open window.
Tootsy. Well, we can go in there and leave the door open. You can stay here and make our wish come true. Come on, Dumpling.
Wishing Man. Wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you all of you sure you want to be made into great big, big little children?
Children. Yes, all of us.
Wishing Man. All right. If that's your wish, it's no business of mine. Go out in the front hall and climb on the marble-top table and I'll see what I can do for you.
Tootsy. Oh, come on, quick, Dumpling, before he changes his mind. (Runs out R. with Dumpling and Snookums, the latter taking very long strides.)
Wishing Man. It's a very foolish wish, but maybe they'll be satisfied if I make them the biggest children on earth. (Throws back curtains at the window.) I'll see what I can do.
Dumpling (outside). I'm standing up on the table now.
Wishing Man.
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Hickety, kickety, setting sun, (Making mysterious passes.) Thunder, lightning, flash of a gun! Let him grow bigger, it won't be much fun; Hickety, kickety, number one! |
(Lights flash out, then on again, then out. Low rumbles of thunder heard. Lights on again, then off. Loud crash outside.)
Tootsy. Now it's my turn. I'm on the table.
Wishing Man.
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Witchery, twitchery, kangaroo, Thunder and lightning, Kalamazoo! Lengthen her, strengthen her, rip, bazoo, Make her a giantess, number two! |
(Lightning and thunder as before.)
Snookums (outside). Now, Mr. Wishing Man, I'm on the table.
Wishing Man. That's the Baby Snookums. Very well, little Snookie Ookums! I'll change you into the biggest baby on earth.
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Rumpety, thumpety, Kankakee, Lengthen him out to six foot three! The biggest baby we ever did see, Rumpety, thumpety, number three! |
(Same noises as before, only louder.)
Enter Nurse Maid from L.
Nurse Maid. Goodness, gracious! Is it a tornado or an earthquake? (Sees Wishing Man.) Oh! (Screams loudly.) And who are you? Murder! Thieves! Robbers! Where's me children? Where's little Dumpling and Tootsy and Baby Snookums? (Fast, loud music.)
Wishing Man (yells). Where are your children?
Enter Big Dumpling, Big Tootsy and Big Snookums. They join hands and dance around at R.
Wishing Man. There they are. There are little Dumpling and Tootsy and Baby Snookums.
(Nurse Maid looks at children, screams loudly, throws up her arms and faints in a chair at L. of stage. Wishing Man stands at C. with arms akimbo, laughing at her. The three big children dance in a circle at R.)
Curtain.
Scene: No scene at all. The action takes place in front of the closed curtains. Note: During this act the managers should be arranging the stage for the next act.
The children who are present in the audience should be given seats down in front. At this point they rise and go upon the stage in front of the curtain and sing, accompanied by a chorus of older children behind the scenes. An adult leader may appear with the children. All sing, marching around platform and acting out the song:
Follow Me
Follow Me
Follow Me
(The music continues softly as they resume their seats in the audience. After a pause the Wishing Man sticks his head out from the curtains. He takes one step in front, bows, then skips down to front and bows again.)
Wishing Man. Hello, little boys and girls, how do you do this fine winter night? I know what each of you has been thinking. You've been wishing that you could meet the Wishing Man and that he would make your wishes come true. Now, haven't you? Well, I've made that wish come true. You wished to meet me, and here I am. I've been watching you all the year in Sunday School. I know how you have worked over your lessons, how you have helped your teachers and how punctual you have been. To be sure, I know some of you haven't helped your teachers as much as you could have done, but I'll forget all that at Christmas time. Now tell me what you wish for most.
Children (in audience who have previously rehearsed this scene). A Christmas tree. A look at old Santa Claus. Some nice Christmas presents, etc.
Wishing Man. Stop, stop. I can't attend to so many wishes at once.
Little Girl (rising). Please, Mr. Wishing Man, couldn't you tell us what we'd better wish for?
Wishing Man. Have you ever had a great, big Christmas tree?
Children. Oh, yes, lots of times.
Wishing Man. Have you ever seen my old friend, Mr. Santa Claus?
Children. Oh, yes.
Little Boy. We see him every year at Christmas.
Wishing Man. How would like to go with me to Wishing Land.
Children. Oh, goody! (Clapping hands.) That would be fine. Can you take us there?
Wishing Man. Of course I can. And that's just what we'll do. We'll all of us go to the Wishing Land. First, I'll call little Dumpling. Dumpling, little Dumpling, where are you?
Big Dumpling comes in from behind the curtains.
Big D. Here I am, Mr. Wishing Man. I was playing with my little horse and wagon. (He plays with tiny horse and wagon.)
Wishing Man. And how do you like being a great, big Dumpling?
Big D. Well, not very well. I'm always bumping my head on the doors and things. And all my toys are so very little I'm always breaking them.
Wishing Man. Where is your sister? Where is little Tootsy?
Big Tootsy enters.
Big T. Here, Mr. Wishing Man. I'm here. Me and my little dolly.
Wishing Man. Well, little Tootsy, how do you like being a great, big Tootsy?
Big T. I don't like it very well. My clothes don't seem to fit, and I know I look awfully funny. (To audience.) Don't I? Everybody laughs at me and it always makes me cry. (Cries.)
Wishing Man. And where is little Snookie Ookums?
Big Snookums enters.
Big S. Here I am, Mr. Wishing Man. Here's 'ittie Snookie Ookums.
Wishing Man. You look like a 'ittie baby elephant, Snookie Ookums. Well, are you children satisfied with your wish?
The Three. Not very much. We wish we were little again.
Big S. (crying). I tried to ride my little horsie and I bweaked him all to pieces.
Big D. And I can't get enough to eat. My little knife and fork and spoon are too little, and when I eat I swallow dishes and all. (Cries.)
Big T. And all my clothes are too little for me, and I look so funny that everybody laughs at me. And I don't like it at all. (Cries.)
Wishing Man. I'm just going to start on a journey to the Wishing Land. The toys there are awfully big. They'd be just the right size for you. Would you like to go with me?
Big S. Is it very far?
Big D. Could we get back by bedtime?
Big T. Wouldn't it be awfully cold flying through the air?
Wishing Man. Oh, no. We'd fly so fast you'd only have time to shiver once and then we'd be right there.
The Three. Oh, yes; let's go.
Wishing Man. All right. Now all of you part your hair right in the middle, so you won't be heavier on one side than on the other. (They do so.) That's good. Now give me your hands and hold on tight and we're off to the Wishing Land. Follow me, full of glee.