Tucked away, in the back of my imagination, is an idyllic land. No one there has to grow up if they
don't have to. The last world war was fought over improperly prepared bacon and the death count was
equally small (at 0). In this dreamy land, you top out at a height you can cope with being, and you
don't have to have a body of the wrong gender. And you're treated like a little puppy if you need to
be. The scenery is vast, and impressive, but not imposing.

In it, I'm still a kid. And everyone pets me and holds me and calls me "lil cutie girl."

Too bad it's just dreams and daydreams.

Because I really need to be a cute little kid again.

Can't a little husky pup just have her glory days back?

All this hate, resentment, worry, pain... Tears me apart...

I wanna be a sweet and innocent little husky girl...

I wanna be a smiley little cutie pie...

I overeat because at least food is guaranteed to make me a bit happy... But eating too much makes
you fat... and I weigh 135+ kg. I just wanna be a tiny little cutie pie... but I'm tall, wide, old,
wrinkly, resentful, hateful, angry, unstable... this just isn't me... I'm supposed to be a fluffy
little puppy... Always happy, always forgiving, always a good girl for my friends, always nice to
cuddle... I wanna be so cute and innocent, and not so smart that I get resentful of everyone and
angry at everything... I wanna be ticklish and soft, not corrosive and stiff... I want my childhood
back... I need my childhood back... I'll do anything for a fleeting moment of immaturity, of
emptiness, of naïveté...