CNN 8/5/2026

## Ex-youth pastor accused of wife’s murder claims innocence in note found
after his suicide in jail

By Rebekah Riess, Lauren Mascarenhas, CNN

Updated: 2:21 PM EDT, Mon August 3, 2026

Source: CNN

A profession of innocence is among the details in a jailhouse suicide note
left by a former youth pastor recently charged with murder 20 years after his
wife fell to her death.

“I was never afraid of legal action … because I didn’t kill her,” David Vander
Meer wrote in the note released this week with redactions by the Las Vegas
Metro Police Department.

Vander Meer, 49, was charged in June with murder and insurance fraud in
connection with his then-wife Bernadette Vander Meer’s death in 2006 at Zion
National Park, according to the Washington County, Utah, Attorney’s Office. He
was arrested by Las Vegas police on June 22 and booked into the Clark County
Detention Center, where he was found unresponsive in his cell two days later.

David Vander Meer “left a hand written suicide letter and a hand written will
in his cell which has been photographed and impounded,” the police case report
on his death said without revealing what they contained.

Vander Meer initially believed his arrest meant his life “was going to be
inconvienced [sic] for a month or two,” images of the note released by police
show. He went on to write:

"“I’ve always been very selective with what I share to people about how
Bernadette died, soley [sic] because I know how bad it looks. I was never
afraid of legal action though, because I didn’t kill her, and I never thought
it would lead to an arrest. The additional allegations I have heard about are
largely false, but not entirely. They paint a picture that can’t be escaped.
They spell conviction.”"

While Bernadette’s death at the time was ruled an accident, investigators re-
examining the case uncovered evidence, later cited in an arrest affidavit,
that led to the charges. It included a large life insurance payout,
inappropriate relationships between Vander Meer and minors, as well as
inconsistencies in the then-youth pastor’s account of his wife’s fall from the
Angel’s Landing trail.

The investigation was reopened last October after a pastor who once employed
Vander Meer reached out to the Washington County Attorney’s Office to say he
believed Bernadette’s death hadn’t been an accident and Vander Meer had pushed
her.

Bernadette’s parents had held suspicions about their daughter’s death as well,
they told CNN. In his suicide note, Vander Meer acknowledged “small amounts of
truth” in the claims against him, though he didn’t specify which. He wrote:

"“I was naive to think that just because I didn’t kill Bernadette, that there
would be no problem with the charges. This is just calculated risk at this
point. Reports of the affidavit contain small amounts of truth, but paint a
picture I will probably not be able to overcome.”"

Vander Meer also noted that someone – whose name police redacted – didn’t
deserve to be part of what he called his “past failures,” adding, “None of my
family does.”

Vander Meer died by suicide, the Clark County Office of the Coroner/Medical
Examiner confirmed Monday. His family could not be reached for comment.

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