Tough times with my son

#family,#personal

Our son has been going through a rather difficult time
in his quest to be independent.

He is 24, has a bachelor's degree in business and an
MBA. He is also a professional actor and has been 
focusing very heavily in the last couple of years or
so in building his acting career.

A few months ago he told us that he had been admitted
to a very prestigious acting school in New York City, 
for a summer program. We were of course proud of him,
but also (of course) were concerned about how we were
going to pay for all of this.

Prior to this he had been acting very disrepectful to
me and to my wife, his mom. Basically he really wanted
to be on his own, but the current job situation made
it very hard for him and other Gen Zers to find entry
level work. So, every day he seems to have gotten
angrier and angrier, and at some point, for some 
reason, decided that part of the problem was us, his
parents.

He believes that we do NOT want him to ever leave 
home. Furthermore he claims that we "suck" at 
provding him with moral support. 

This was a HUGE shock for us. Our whole life to 
this point has been to focus on our kids so that
they can grow up and be productive members of 
society. We paid for excellent pre-kindergarten
private education, 13 years of private school, and
also paid his tuition for his bachelor's and 
master's degrees. I had a father who never 
supported me and was bound and determined to never
let that happen with my kids. 

As of this writing he is wrapping up his time in NY
and locating an apartment and job so he can stay
up there permanently. We've had many nasty arguments
with him and I am done with that. I can't argue
with him anymore. I will gladly love and support
him, always, but if he disrespects me or his mom,
I will politely disengage until he decides to be 
more respectful.

I don't know what else to do. My wife and I are both 
deeply depressed and devastated by his behavior. We
can't say anything to him without triggering some 
anger and contempt, and if we don't talk to him, we
get accused of "playing the victim" and being 
unsupportive. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

We are stuck, and all we can do is hope and pray a
lot for him to find it in his heart to appreciate
and respect his parents.
 
.