we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 97: "I'M SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * ANIM - Teddy bear that says, "I'm Sorry" * PARTY - It's tonight! * WEEBL - Tentacle rape ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | ___/ _ |/_ > Brady Bunch Pop-ups << Monkeon has been worrying that pop-ups are dying out because of all the blocking software that people install these days. So he's re-made the intro sequence to the Brady Bunch in pop-up windows and pixels, whilst he still can. It's actually rather marvelous, but does fuck up your screen a bit. http://www.monkeon.co.uk/brady/ >> Immigrant Hunting for Sport << "People who've been to my site", writes Little Goth Girl creator Matazone, "will be familiar with Mr Snaffleburger, my long running daft satire series." Blimey. He's going to get a few complaints about this. Hope he's got thick skin. http://www.matazone.co.uk/Mr-Snaffleburger-human-h... >> Hat catching sport << "Seeing as it's come round to the summer," drawls Nathan Dobson, "I thought I'd let you know of our breathtakingly simple yet addictive game." It involves kicking a baseball cap from your foot to your head. Yay. Utterly pointless. http://www.cap-attack.com/ >> Weebl tentacle rape << Behind the scenes at b3ta towers we often mock Jonti for his love of Japanese culture. We think he's turned on by squid sex. Our theories have been proved correct in Weebls' latest adventure. http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/hentai.htm ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates. >> Jesus/Vodka advert << We love Jesus and we love vodka. So what could be better than Jesus advertising vodka? Nothing. These fake ads are flipping great. Watch. http://www.pinkypoos.co.uk/images/wwjd_fingers.mov http://www.pinkypoos.co.uk/images/wwjd_frog.mov >> Gollum award acceptance speech << Did you catch the MTV Movie Awards? They had this great Lord of the Rings skit where Gollum gets all sweary. Surprisingly off-colour for a corporate thing. http://img-nex.theonering.net/movies/gollum_mtvawa... >> Hairy arse << Every so often the web throws up a very simple page that just makes us laugh. This one features a hairy bloke wiggling his bum to yesteryear's "Move it" hit from Reel 2 Real. Ah, the memories. http://man-faye.mooniidx.com/index.php >> Granny Russian roulette << This short film about old ladies playing Russian roulette is probably meant to be black comedy. We found it both compelling and disturbing. We didn't get stiff even once. http://www.ifilm.com/filmdetail >> Stupid Customers #2 << Unlike us super clever gods of nerdom, some people find tech stuff a bit confusing. Check out this collection of PC mistakes recorded by a computer repair bloke. Great photos, although the one with the credit card in the floppy drive is surely a fake. http://sct.staghosting.com/sct005.html >> Talking computer << There's been a lot of Eliza style "talk to the computer" pages on the net. This one kept us entertained for a bit. You can teach it simple stuff, and then ask questions. We asked "do you wanna cyber?" and got, "I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995." http://platoon.dk ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. * GOATSE ART ENETERED FOR COMPETITION - a couple of weeks ago we told you about BoyT and his success in getting the local paper to print an arty version of the famously obscene goatse photo. And now? He's been asked to enter it for childrens art competition. Result. http://www.b3ta.com/board/1582285 ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the Japanese Product Challenge Each week we run a competition to test your creative skills. We set a challenge and you open Photoshop and mess with our heads. Last week we wanted fake Japanese products: http://b3ta.com/challenge/japanese/ We asked B3ta boarder 'Threepwood' to judge the entries - here are his 3 faves. Mr Threepwood writes - #1 "Super Happy Office Puppy - Silly product + Great subtitles + Running Japanese man = winner. (sosumi) http://b3ta.com/board/1589473 #2 "Magic Panties - They look real and in a few months they probably will be. (slim) http://b3ta.com/board/1607422 #3 "Turtle house - Is it a dwelling? Is at a toy? Who cares as long as it looks like that." (Cozzza) http://b3ta.com/board/1582706 ...and a special mention for Pecker's pixeltastic Hello Kitty inspired range. http://b3ta.com/board/1595357 >> This Weeks Challenge << This week, B3ta contributor Mystery Bob gave us the suggestion, "What I found in my Kinder Egg" http://b3ta.com/challenge/kinderegg/ ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * CRAB FIREWORKS - Apparently a crab will clutch onto pretty much anything placed in its claw. Including a lit banger. * OBSCENE FIREWORKS - can you paint a cock in the sky using the medium of light? * INDOOR FIREWORKS - they always say your shouldn't let off rockets indoors. Why? They're just trying to spoil our fun. Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: [email protected] Unsubscribe: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was edited by Rob Manuel. David Stevenson is on holiday. We're not. Links sent in by Olly/Campion, Divstivs, Simon Tinsley, Charles (no catchy or cool nickname at this time, sorry), Hentai_for_kids and Mr Softy. Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry. Board research by Fnord. Top Tippery by Joel Veitch and brumhilda69. Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. Proofing by the b4ta rest home for retired queens. (68429) ------------------------------------------------ HANDY TIP: WD40 is excellent at removing oil, grease and even fresh paint marks from concrete floors. Spray on & allow to soak in, the oil or grease lifts to the surface of the WD40 and can be wiped off. * * * BONUS SWEARING TIP: By reversing "fuck" and "cock" you can substantially improve your swearing. EG: "Cock off you cocking fucksucker." next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive