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   NEWSLETTER: "WHAT'S WHITE AND GOES 'RIBBIT RIBBIT RIBBIT RIBBIT RIBBIT
   RIBBIT'? A SOUTH-AFRICAN CHAS & DAVE COVERS BAND"
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 * BOOMER DEATH WATCH - interesting if a bit mean
 * BOND CHALLENGE - lovely Photoshop results
 * WEIRD FOREHEADS - cropped by the Guardian
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 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving the web by
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ | saving 'web shield stamps'
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_| & claiming a free URL"
 B3ta newsletter e-mail 965 - 18th Oct 2025
 Read this issue backwards & summon HTTP Satan:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue965
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
   Other than making chatting noises at birds
   * BOOMER DEATH WATCH - Hot Garbage writes, "I've
   made a retro site for remembering all the
   Boomers who have left us in the last 30 days."
   This is an interesting one as we're not sure
   exactly what the tone is, it doesn't feel like a
   celebration like Chris Barker's SGT Pepper, more
   a thank god they're dead. The official B3ta
   position on Boomers is, generational warfare is
   fighting the wrong battles, and everyone needs
   to chill out.
 https://boomerdeathwatch.com/
   * WEIRD FOREHEAD CROPS - Dave Bagpuss has
   written a bot to post all the times the preview
   image on the Guardian is mostly a weirdly
   cropped forehead. He writes, "There's a
   surprising number of foreheads being posted by
   The Guardian, usually at least one a day, but if
   there isn't much upper face activity then it
   will post one out of the archive. Yes, I looked
   through more than 10,000 pictures for this."
 https://bsky.app/profile/guardianforeheads.bagpuss...
   * JUST TOUCH SOME GRASS, OK? Dave 'Sheep Films'
   Packer writes, "I'm rubbish at promoting myself
   usually, can I suggest my short film about
   touching grass for the newsletter though?" You
   certainly can Dave, and thank you for turning up
   the latest Fesshole gig and charming the entire
   audience that you "like filming the
   neighbourhood cats" and that you "don't fuck
   them or anything weird."
 https://www.youtube.com/shorts/N6lW4BxFEFg
   * YOUR ZX MAGAZINE IS HERE AGAIN - Sloanysoft
   writes, "We have just finished work on the
   latest issue of BreakSpace magazine. It's
   magazine dedicated to the ZX Spectrum and
   features 58 reviews of brand new games for the
   42, 1/2 year old budget computer. It even
   includes 2 new BASIC listings for you to type
   in. We've even got some reviews from Your
   Sinclair legend Phil 'Snouty' South."
 https://breakspace.itch.io/breakspace-issue-3
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
   You know the score, buy some clothes
   It's illegal to walk the streets nude so help is
   at hand from Hebtro who'll cover your naked
   flesh with the innovation of clothing. All made
   in the UK, to the highest standards and 
   designed to last, so why not treat yourself, or
   the men in your life, to some durable threads.
   And end that public nudity.
 https://hebtro.co/new/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Your fesses shared with the world
   Somehow we've got a combined 1.5 million
   followers for this stuff across various social
   media accounts, so if your fess is published,
   then it's potentially read by the same amount of
   people who bought Duran Duran's Notorious LP in
   1986. And we didn't even need to feature Nile
   Rodgers either. Your favs this week includes:
   * DUMP HIM - "My husband of 5 years bought me
   £30 Lego for my birthday this year. I wouldn't
   mind so much, but he also bought himself £150
   Lego the same day. Unfortunately he's not been
   able to finish his AT - ST walker as some of the
   pieces appear to have mysteriously gone missing.
   Shame."
   * LIFE HACKS - "I graduated with a 'pass' in
   2001. I needed a copy of my degree certificate
   so I contacted the university, they'd been
   through so many upgrades of their records system
   they just asked me what grade I got. Now I'm a
   2.1 graduate."
   * THE RIGHT THING TO DO - "Booked on a lads
   weekend with some work colleagues some years
   back, felt pressured to go despite despising
   half of them. Three days before going, booked
   two nights in a hotel a few miles away & went
   'missing' on the first night. Turned back up and
   claimed I'd been arrested."
   Follow the Facebook version of Fesshole because
   we want to have a popular Facebook page, like
   it's still 2010 and that was considered a useful
   thing back then. Really we should put effort
   into TikTok as that's what the youth care about,
   but as it's just been bought by the bloke who
   owns Oracle it's now even more problematic than
   when it was run by the Chinese government. Why
   is this stuff so hard? We just want to go back
   to Club Penguin.
 http://facebook.com/fesshole
   We've just done the show in Worthing so thanks
   to the people who came to that, we all had a
   great time and well done to the winner Eva. For
   sale: Liverpool, Leeds and trying out an Anon
   Opin show.
 https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
   The yellow Fesshole book is still 99p on Kindle,
   so that's worth a buy, but also of course, buy
   the red one, so that you can juggle them really
   fast and make a tribute to the lib dems. (THE
   ORANGE BOOK, TO SPELL OUT THIS USELESS JOKE)
 https://amazon.co.uk/s
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Your pages from ceefax this week
   * TRAP MY BALLS AND MAKE THEM EXPLODE - If you
   like Qix and MS Paint, then this is the game for
   you. Trap the bouncing heads in as few lines as
   possible. B3tans should remember the
   3-pubes-per-ball rule when attempting to trap
   them inside a magenta bollock.
 https://deepanwadhwa.github.io/freeze_trap/
   * PUMPKIN CLOCK - A spooky timepiece for
   Halloween. You can see proof that it's real via
   YouTube if you dig around , though the fact that
   it's been online since 2013 means that you don't
   have to worry about anything worse than
   Photoshop CS6 being involved, anyway.
 https://www.halloweenclock.com
   * AI SLOP IS DESTROYING THE INTERNET - Popular
   YouTube explainer channel Kurzgesagt takes on AI
   slop and comes to a depressing conclusion, but
   we're certainly not regretting instituting a "no
   AI" rule in our image challenges a few years
   back. This stuff is without merit.
 https://b3ta.com/links/Ronseal:32
   * CASABLANCA 12" REMIX - This extended cut of
   the music scene is funny, a work of editing art,
   and by the hand of the legendary Jeremy Limb,
   who this editor once randomly met in a pub and
   he seemed nice. So on that recommendation alone,
   you should click.
 https://b3ta.com/links/Casablanca_extended_cut
   * AIRFIX TWINS ON A PEDAL STEEL - Avril 14 has
   slowly creeped up to being one of the most
   popular Aphex Twin tunes as it has the
   melancholia you associate with 1980s children's
   sci-fi, and this version of it alone make us
   want to reboot a fourth season of Chocky where
   aliens telepathically transport kids into a
   dimension where Volvo cars can talk.
 https://b3ta.com/links/Avril_14_on_a_pedal_steel
 -------------------------------------------------
 : IMAGE CHALLENGE
   Ruin A Bond Poster
   Here's the best images from last week:
   * 'NINJ' makes a genuinely great suggestion for
   the new Bond, given Amazon will probably
   greenlight anything: Aardman Bond, hell yes.
 https://b3ta.com/board/11422013
   * 'YA WHAT' makes us think we'd pay good money
   to see Brian Butterfield Bond. C'mon Peter
   Serafinowicz, give the public what they want.
 https://b3ta.com/board/11421916
   * 'RAZZLE' suggests there's no time to die
 https://b3ta.com/board/11421935
   * See all the other images from the 'Ruin A Bond
   Poster' challenge:
 http://b3ta.com/challenge/ruinabondposter/popular
   >> This week: More Educational Posters for
   Hospitals <<
   The Ginger Führer reminds us "we once did a
   great challenge fucking with health posters
   you'd see in hospitals etc, given that was 15
   years ago, maybe there's some new posters to
   fuck with". Let's find out.
 http://b3ta.com/challenge/moreeducationalpostersfo...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
   The vaguely follow ups bit of bits that don't
   fit
   * B3TAN TELLS A STORY ABOUT HIS NIPPLES -
   Shazzoir writes, "I did a dumb thing at work
   that wasted a ton of IT resourcing, probably
   made IT very cross at me, but which worked out
   okay in the end.  It's also kind of topical with
   November coming up."
 https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:kmeze22tgxnj22amb...
   * MATT ROUND'S CRISP SANDWICH EVENT RUMBLES ON -
   Matt tells us that the pub 'The Shirker's Rest'
   is "celebrating CSD again"  and he "was going to
   promote their crisp/drink pairing event but it's
   sold out!" Still, you can go down there on the
   day, you'll just not be allowed upstairs for the
   secret taster menu.
 https://bsky.app/profile/theshirkersrest.bsky.soci...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT'S HAPPENING NEXT
   Previews of stuff coming up
   Figured we'd ask a few b3tans what they're
   planning next, in our job of hyping up exciting
   new things that you haven't seen yet.
   * WHAT'S NEXT FOR MONKEON? "I'm slowly making an
   adverts 'game' and amused myself by loading it
   with a disproportionate amount of Amstrad
   adverts. The em@iler one amused for being so
   Brexity. Ahead of his time, Sir Lord Alan."
   * WHAT'S NEXT FOR MATT ROUND? - Matt is
   producing a type-in magazine and tells us "hmm
   magazine project doesn"t have a page or launch
   date yet." You see, we are the hype men,
   delivering the hype, are you hyped dear reader?
 -------------------------------------------------
 : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
   Some ideas to kick you off
   * RABBIT, THE CHAS AND DAVE PODCAST - each week
   a guest brings in their favourite Chas & Dave
   song and 'rabbits' about how, actually, Chas &
   Dave are equals to the Kinks, Squeeze, Madness
   and Ian Dury. Because they fucking are. Love
   them.
   * FOOTBALL, THE TEXT ADVENTURE - make a game
   that simulates being not a football fan, and
   getting trapped in a football conversation, can
   you fake through multiple choice, just enough
   knowledge, not to look like a twat?
   * TABS VS SPACES - settle this important debate
   once for all by making a video game where
   cigarettes war with various types of absence.
   Yes this is a filler sentence where we just
   started typing and wondered where it would end
   up.
   Submit to the form. SUBMIT TO THE FORM.
 https://b3ta.com/mailus
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost romantically.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
   Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
   Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
   Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
   Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
   Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
   Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
   H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
   Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
   Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
   Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
   Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
   Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
   Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
   Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
   Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
   mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
   OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
   Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
   Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
   pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
   Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
   RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
   sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
   McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
   Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
   Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
   Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
   Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
   Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
   Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
   Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
   Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
   James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
   Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
   Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
   Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
   Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
   Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
   Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
   Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
   Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
   Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
   STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
   Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
   Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
   Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
   Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
   Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
   Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
   Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
   FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
   Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
   Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
   Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
   madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
   Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
   Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
   Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
   Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
   Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
   Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
   Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
   Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional links; Monkeon for image challenge
   help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
   by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (Incessant Talking - Kat)
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
   love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
   - extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
   Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
   Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
   and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
   McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
   Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
   PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
   Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
   the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
   to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
   appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
   Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
   Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
   Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
   YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
   Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
   you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
   Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx. BONUS
   THANKS: Gillian Parrott, Funny_hat & Gub~gub.
   BONUS THANKS TO NEWEST: Niomi Wightman, Matt &
   JonC. Super-newest thank to Benjamin Blundell
   and Stuart. Super bonus news thanks to Luka
   Mikec, Peter Henningsen & Mike Coats. Super
   double new thanks to Katie Steckles, Prophyria,
   Rob Mahon, Kier Fox-Mayr, Geoff Tidey, Simon
   Howard. And new bonus thanks to Tim Chuma, Tom
   YeOldeForge, Austin Hofeman & Marcus Penning.
   AND new thanks to atomic.
   Oh just subscribe, you lovely lovely people.
 https://b3ta.com/subscribe/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : BONUS "BEIGE FOOD" FESSHOLE
   "I realised I've been going to Greggs too
   regularly when I got invited to the leaving do
   for one of the workers."

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   --------------------
   THIS WEEKS HEADLINES
   --------------------

   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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