we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: "A SENTENCE THAT MAKES YOU LAUGH AND THINK YEAH I WILL READ THIS NEWSLETTER" next issue » « previous issue * UK NUKES - get alerted first if things pop * IMAGE CHALLENGE - Cartoon spin-off results * NY MAYOR ELECTION - simulation fun for all ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | "We're saving the web by ___/ _ |/_ > This week: Disco << It's a one-word challenge this week as we look at the world of disco, so get down on (Photoshopping) it. Suggested by Ya What. http://b3ta.com/challenge/disco/popular ------------------------------------------------- : ASK B3TA We're bring back 'Ask Jeeve's incompetently * ANAL HEADS - Elly.morrow writes, "I remember you used to a whole section about when someone puts their head up someone"s arse - I can"t remember the slang term for it - can you please enlighten me." Did we, do you mean goatse corner? That's the only thing we can think of. But Goatse means to pull your butt cheeks apart with your hands, whilst wearing a wedding ring. * WETHERSPOONS ESCAPE - paul@32moves writes, "I'm fascinated by places like Point Nemo, the point in the ocean that is furthest away from land, anywhere on Earth. My question for b3ta is, what is the location in the UK furthest away from a Wetherspoons? You seem like you might just instinctively know this." Our gut feeling is there is a boring answer that involves being on one of the northern islands off Scotland, but a mainland answer would be more interesting. If any data scientists want to tackle this with science and data, then please be our guest. * ARMLESS QUESTION - leo@vegoda writes, "Why do we have upper arms and forearms? Surely it should be upper and lower, or fore and aft?" You have arms Leo? We at B3ta have mandibles. If you have any questions, or answers to these, like a more rubbish version of the Guardian's Notes & Queries then please mail us. http://b3ta.com/mailus ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Some ideas to make you make stuff ok? * AI ART POLICE - we were recently disappointed to notice that one of our favourite musicians is using AI art to promo their new kickstarter and we couldn't face giving him a hard time about it, so can someone else take this up? People submit examples and someone else can apply the pressure. * MAKE JASON DONOVAN DO THIS - a recently Anon Opin said: "I honestly think that if Jason Donovan rereleased his 1989 song "too many broken hearts in the world" but the replaced the words 'broken hearts' with 'fucking cunts' he's got a worldwide hit on his hands." Maybe you're his old coke dealer and can strongarm him into this? * ELITE SOLITAIRE - we were thinking about playing Elite, as we quite like the trading aspect, but can't be arsed with all that spaceflight bit and realised if the game was real, you probably wouldn't do the flying yourself and computers would do it, and you'd be playing Solitaire. Now that's a game we'd play, space trading and card games between planets. Tell us about your work and we'll tell the world. https://b3ta.com/mailus/ ------------------------------------------------- : PATREON THANKS We love all these people. Almost romantically. *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON JAMES* *STOOBERT* 24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY, SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW, ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright, lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna, Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster, blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister, Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss, Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law, Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway, Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman, Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler, mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross, OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington, pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon, Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter, RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer, sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller, Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood, Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough, Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote, Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne, Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston, James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton, Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson, Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green, Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey, Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff, Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent, Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol, FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble, Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield, Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter, Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown, Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb, Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane, Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase, Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths, Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt. EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round additional links; Monkeon for image challenge help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (urgh urgh urgh - Kat) And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger, Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss, Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards, Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST - extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant, Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD, and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker, Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson, Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx. BONUS THANKS: Gillian Parrott, Funny_hat & Gub~gub. BONUS THANKS TO NEWEST: Niomi Wightman, Matt & JonC. Super-newest thank to Benjamin Blundell and Stuart. Super bonus news thanks to Luka Mikec, Peter Henningsen & Mike Coats. Super double new thanks to Katie Steckles, Prophyria, Rob Mahon, Kier Fox-Mayr, Geoff Tidey, Simon Howard. And new bonus thanks to Tim Chuma, Tom YeOldeForge, Austin Hofeman & Marcus Penning. AND new thanks to atomic. Oh just subscribe, you lovely lovely people. https://b3ta.com/subscribe/ ------------------------------------------------- : BONUS "SIGHT GAG" FESSHOLE "I am fully blind. Sometimes when I meet a new person for the first time and they ask why, I'll tell them that I lost my sight from masturbating too much as a teenager. My sighted friends tell me the looks on their faces are priceless." next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive