we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 94:"LOCAL NEWSPAPER PRINTS GOATSE" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * STUNT - Goatse in the papers * VIDEO - Sesame Street Pinball Song * REVIEWS - All music is shit ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | ___/ _ |/_ > Pinball Song/Video << Thorpe has made a lovely track sampling The Pinball Song from Sesame Street. A friend of his has made a video featuring the footage that accompanied it on the show. It's great, a funky nostalgia fest. http://freespace.virgin.net/gordon.robertson/pinba... >> Mutant animals<< The creatures that live in HumanDescent's head may frighten you. He's one of b3ta's most prolific Photoshop artists, producing bizarre little masterpieces every single day. It's past time his online gallery/zoo got a mention from us here. http://www.humandescent.com/index2.shtml >> All music is shit << Chthonic is an angry, angry man. He's listened to all the same music you have and he hates it. Go on, try him out by typing in the name of a band or record you like. His indiscriminate bile-filled ranting will amuse you. http://www.chthonicionic.net/bile/ >> Star Wars Vs. Village People << Ever wondered what the storm troopers get up to on their Saturday nights? B3ta newcomer Johnny B Goode has made this Flash vid to show you. Apparently they dance to dodgy old disco. Like everyone else. http://snurl.com/1o9z ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates. >> Salt maze for slugs << Wooooo. Perhaps the ultimate extreme sport for slugs. Can the slug make it out alive? We would try this at home, but frankly it's mean. Also, slugs are icky and we'd have to get our mum to come round and help us. http://www.livejournal.com/~theteague/8200.html >> Notes on the fridge << Ah, the joys of shared houses. A whole bunch of strangers knowing your wanking habits. This concerned letter will bring back those memories. Or perhaps give you bad ideas. http://home.pi.be/~freddes/pictures/fridge.jpg >> 13 PC flight sim << Jesus wept. This bloke likes his flight sims. He's connected 13 monitors and 9 PCs together to get the ultimate cockpit view. He must be single. But imagine watching porn on it. Mmm. Cockpit. http://members.chello.nl/~s.ferris/ ------------------------------------------------- : GENITAL CORNER Because we love cock >> Truck Testes << Show that you're a real man by having metal balls attached to your car. http://www.bumpernuts.com/ >> Photograph your cock << Lizzie is doing a comedy show in Edinburgh, and she needs photos of your knob. In a dress. If you've got one, and who hasn't, help her out. Send it to her. No jeans or trainers though. http://www.grayblog.co.uk/cockinafrock.html >> Scrotum Electric Shock << Bollocks plus massive electrical shock plus fucking stupidity plus video camera equals ouch. Not much more to be said about this one, really. So a minute of silence for all the dead sperm please. http://pics.turboflux.net/numbnuts.mpeg ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the Baddies Turned Good Challenge Each week we run a competition to test your creative skills. We set a challenge and you open Photoshop and mess with our heads. Last week we wanted baddies that had turned good: http://b3ta.com/challenge/baddies/ We asked B3ta boarder 'sigsy' to judge the entries - here are his 3 faves. Sigsy writes - #1 "Something's wrong with the gun's transmission - A great idea, well executed and very funny. (Kerouac) http://www.b3ta.com/board/1452497 #2 "Use the... - Made me laugh with a great punchline, nice camera pan animation as well. (Mystery Bob) http://www.b3ta.com/board/1427857 #3 "UN Stormtroopers - Very clever, excellent definition and the lighting/reflection is skillfully done." (Gabba) http://www.b3ta.com/board/1426339 >> This Weeks Challenge << This week, the challenge dictator was back to give us the suggestion, "International Smoking Day" http://b3ta.com/challenge/smoking/ ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * MUCKING ABOUT WITH LOCAL NEWSPAPERS - we love this stuff. Can you compete with CCC and BoyT? * INTERNATIONALSWEARINGDAY.COM - we're not hearing enough foul language at the mo. Sort it out. * INTERVIEWS - are you famous? Get in touch. Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: [email protected] Unsubscribe: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Links sent in by freddes, Leighbert Luke/barnes design & Nancy Higgins. Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry. Board research by Fnord. Top Tippery by Little Miss Stainfree. Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. Proofing by the sleepy b4ta kittens. (68000) ------------------------------------------------- TIP: If you dye your hair and the colour stains your hairline, simply mix up some fag ash along with some cheap cologne. Rub this mixture on your skin using a cotton bud and it will remove 99.9% guaranteed. (It's the carbon in the ash and the alcohol in the cologne.) next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive