we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 93: "MAN VS SHED" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * INTERVIEW - Biscuit man talks * VIDEO - Man Vs Shed * QUIZ - Guess the crap paint ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | ___/ _ |/_ > Weebl rap battle << Weebl takes on his arch nemesis Wee Bull once again in an exciting rap-based treat. Wiggedy-whack. And that's a fact. Er. http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/battle.htm >> Fire stunt sequel << Last week we featured resident self-immolation expert Zyk0tik's last exploit, but lamented his lack of range. This morning we recieved this link. "Hah! And b3ta said I only had 1 trick!" crowed a bruised Zyk. Now he has two. http://members.lycos.co.uk/zzyk0tikk/movies/legman... >> Stunts for cash << Matazone is obviously a bit short this month. A fan offered him a fiver if he'd eat a jam sandwich with the jam on the outside. And he did. Do you have little stunts you'd like him to pull? Offer him cash and maybe he'll make your dream a reality. http://www.matazone.co.uk/extreme-jam-sandwich-eat... >> Wanking tramps << "Here's a new Fancy Soup," says Brian Mung. Fantastic! "It's about wanking," he continues. Don't worry Brian - we won't tell your mum. http://www.brianmung.com/fancysoup8.htm >> Goth Girl in love << Matazone, sickened with jam, continues his regular series Little Goth Girl. In this cute episode she finds a cool thing and falls in love. Aah. http://www.matazone.co.uk/little_goth_girl_space_h... ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates. >> 80s bike mag ads << Remember magazines? They were those floppy papery things you used to read. Like, maybe this morning? This is a lovely collection of adverts that give a snapshot into the world of motorcycle enthusiasts some 20 years ago. Great if you like beards and tits. And we do. Cheers. http://www.sharpeworld.com/bikers/ >> Holiday with the A-Team << Any plans for your break this year? Why not try going on a cruise hosted by Dirk Benedict? You may remember Mr. Benedict better as smooth-talking loverman Face from the A-Team. Or as smooth-talking loverman Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica. Now you can have him for your very own. But only the best get to the captain's table. http://www.swainworldcruises.com/benedict/index.ht... >> John Travolta dog << A stunning impersonation of John Travolta's performance in Grease by a highly-trained labrador. We are eagerly awaiting its attempt at Face/Off, with a cat as Nicholas Cage. http://netcity2.web.hinet.net/UserData/jwenchin/da... >> New Dr Who << Douglas Adams wrote it. Now he's dead. The BBC animated it. They should die too. Nah - it's good really. Woo for the Who. You'll need an afternoon spare to enjoy the whole thing. http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/doctorwho/shada/six/inde... >> Japanese kidnap TV << Thank fuck for Japanese television - there's always something new and weird to point at. The latest development is kidnaping an aspiring comedian, locking him in a bare room and only allowing him the possessions he wins through entering postal competitions. Even food. http://www3.tky.3web.ne.jp/~edjacob/nasubi.html >> Big tongue dog << The web is full of famous dogs. You've met Mr Winkle and now it's time to meet Milo. His claim to fame is having an extraordinarily long tongue. We didn't believe it was true until we watched the video. And he's almost completely hairless too. Mmmm. Like Gene Simmons. http://www.milostongue.com/start.htm >> PC rear view mirror << Worried that your boss is coming up behind you as you muck about on the internet? Simply attach one of these to your monitor and your troubles are over. Unless your boss is a vampire of course. http://www.imate.com.au/ >> Eliminate graphic designers << Got a website? Stuck for a design? Don't shell out for a poncey designer. They'll only spend it on strange geometric glasses. Cunts. This little blinder will whip up a nice design for you in a jiffy. Just keep pressing refresh until you find one that doesn't make you vomit. http://www.strangebanana.com/generator.aspx ------------------------------------------------- : 15 SECONDS OF STUPID Short anims from b3ta people >> Humiliating the friendless << "An annoying bloke who follows us around tried to get better friends with us by drinking warm beer out of a full ashtray, complete with fag butts," gloats Jaxilaxonfire. Obviously, his plan failed. http://zwn.arqz.com/flash/anti2.swf >> Bouncy Kylie action << This is my first ever Flash movie," sighs Kamikazee Killmouse, "It was a labour of love." Slow intro, fantastic pay-off. Woo. http://www.zen16091.zen.co.uk/choppings/2003-06/ky... >> Potato << "Potato. Potato. Potato. Potato," writes Weebl, "Potato. Potato. Potato. Potato. Potato. Potato." Yes. This is about potatoes. http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/17/ ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the If Cats Ruled Challenge Each week we run a competition to test your creative skills. We set a challenge and you open Photoshop and mess with our heads. Last week we wanted to see what things would be like if cats ruled the world: http://b3ta.com/challenge/ifcatsruledtheworld/ We asked B3ta boarder 'Anno Domini Hiatus' to judge the entries - here are his 3 faves. Anno Domini Hiatus writes - #1 "Fish Machine - Fishes, paws and thruppeny-bits - what more could you ask for? (sosumi) http://www.b3ta.com/board/1385587 #2 "Maurice wasn't taking any chances - Awwww, who's got little fuzzy eyebrows then? The cigar was the clincher. (Dai marzipan) http://www.b3ta.com/board/1407267 #3 "Bwahahahahahaha-erk! Totally summed up what would really happen if cats ruled the Earth. FACT. (Agent Eddache) http://www.b3ta.com/board/1386760 >> This Weeks Challenge << This week, B3ta contributor Spacefish gave us the suggestion, "When Baddies turn Good" http://b3ta.com/challenge/baddies/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. * B3TA TIPS ARE WRONG - last week we said that citronella oil would stop dogs chewing on the furniture. LP complains, "Because of your tip, my boyfriend tried citronella oil on the wall in his kitchen. It didn't work. I think his dog likes it. It's eaten all the plaster." http://www.lpbk.net/b3ta/jays_kitchen.jpg * B3TA PEOPLE IN JAIL - Mr Mantlepies writes, "We're going to prison. Apparently Visa EU are investigating us for our satellite website." http://www.mycreditcarddetails.co.uk/ ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * BANCAPSLOCK.COM - bECAUSE wE oNLY eVER pRESS iT bY aCCIDENT. iT'S aN iRRITATING aNACHRONISM fROM tHE dAYS oF tYPEWRITERS. kILL iT. * RIPPING THE PISS OUT OF PROG ROCK - it's ruled the music scene for far too long. * NO MORE GAY BAR VIDEOS - we've seen six at the last count. Find another tune to play with. Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: [email protected] Unsubscribe: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Links sent in by shardcore me/jase27, Cyclotron, dscassel, FRieDPHaNToM, ShiteMonger and petebuckley99. Top Tippery from AzOfb3ta. Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry. Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. Proofing by the massed pipes and drums of the b4ta marching band. (67542) ------------------------------------------------- HANDY TIP If you open a bean can at the bottom instead of the top, they all come out in one go, rather than you having to get a spoon and scrape the last few out yourself. next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive