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   NEWSLETTER: "COOL PEOPLE READ ASCII NEWSLETTERS, YOU'RE A COOL PERSON"
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 This Week:
 * WEB MYSTERY SOLVED - but should it have been?
 * BRIT-POP CHALLENGE - full VOX magazine results
 * FESSHOLE - London Xmas-ish show announced
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving the webs
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |  so we can make a spider
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  museum... together?
 B3ta email 921 - 13th Sep 2024
 Read this newsletter to your Linux obsessed mum:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue921
 -------------------------------------------------
   Ever wanted to fly your own starship? Bridge
   Command is open in Vauxhall – a live,
   interactive starship adventure
 https://bit.ly/4en1gGW [sponsored]
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
   Other than making toe-jam custard
   * STATIC RADIO - DngDng writes, "I'm not
   entirely sure why I made this, but Radio Static
   is a small and ultimately pointless internet
   radio that plays nothing but various forms of
   static and occasionally some industrial noises
   that also kind of sound like static." We're
   quite into this idea as it demonstrates how
   framing and presentation can lift something.
 https://accumulationofthings.com/twine/radio/
   * SUPPORT THIS BOOK - our resident
   "photoshoppper" Chris Barker tells us "Boris
   Johnson has a new book coming out so I thought
   I'd jump the gun and get mine out before him.
   Meet futur werld king alexander de-pfeffel
   jonson and the asorted cads and oiks of st.
   cnut"s skool for bois." You might recognise the
   visual style if you're very old.
 https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/dansumption/h...
   * WELL DONE TO B3TAN YOUTUBE MAN - Koit writes,
   "I've recently hit a massive milestone for me!
   I've been a B3TAn for a very long time and
   although I'm much more of a lurker these days I
   feel as if I can still celebrate here. So with
   that, I present the 'strange middle-aged man'
   dancing with his animated characters video." In
   other news, Salad Fingers has hit two million.
 https://b3ta.com/links/Thank_You_For_the_Subs_500_...
   * A VIC 20 GAME DISASSEMBLED - that's the raw
   adrenaline content we have for you. Robhogan
   writes, "A whole book about the tricks, fizz,
   and assembly-language skullduggery in Jeff
   Minter's classic 'Iridis Alpha'. There are lots
   of pretty pictures." Actually we found this
   pretty interesting, there's a good 20% of our
   readership who'll be into this and the rest will
   be baffled. As per usual.
 https://iridisalpha.com/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP *YES,IT'S A SALE*
   Buy some clobber
   On sale - and there's nothing wrong with any of
   this stuff. All properly made in British
   factories using quality cloth and skilled hands.
   Final stock. Once it's gone, it's gone for good.
   Plus they support B3TAN projects and are
   therefore good eggs.
 https://hebtro.co/its-a-sale/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Your fesses fessed up for the fuck of it
   Each week you type truth and lies into a form
   and we pick out a few to share for social media
   likes. Some we enjoyed recently included:
   * PARKLIFE! - "My girlfriend wants me to
   download Life 360 so we know each other has
   arrived safely at work and prep dinner when
   we've left, etc. I'm running out of excuses as I
   don't want her to know that after work I feed
   pigeons for half an hour as I have no friends."
   * MARRIED WITH CHILDREN - "Now Oasis are talking
   again, my husband has just got out all his CDs,
   he's currently singing Champagne Supernova, and
   walking about like Kevin and Perry, and his soft
   Manc accent is more pronounced. Thanks Oasis,
   you'll be mentioned at the divorce proceedings."
   * HELP THE AGED - "My optician is really hot so,
   I got excited when he asked if I was doing
   anything this weekend. I replied 'nothing I
   can't cancel' with a cheeky wink. He said 'Oh
   sorry, I just wanted to know if you're likely to
   be wearing your lenses'"
   Link goes to the April best of - we are behind
   in the monthly best-ofs but we're working our
   way through catching up.
 https://bsky.app/profile/fesshole.bsky.social/post...
   Gigs! We've loads of gigs for sale, Birmingham
   up next, then Isle Of Wight (please book this
   one, it's really going out on a limb trying to
   sell tickets on a small island), Preston, London
   just announced (on your editor's birthday too)
   and Wolverhampton (original home town, should be
   fun.)
 https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
   BOOK! We told you to buy it last week when the
   price was about £3 but generating a small sales
   boost made the algorithm put the price up.
   Amazon is worse than Noel Gallagher.
 https://amzn.to/40ySjVn
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Your pokes and peeks this week
   * JOHNNY BALL'S THINK OF A NUMBER - A minimalist
   text game in which, playing against every other
   visitor to the site, you must guess the lowest
   number that no one else guesses today. One of
   the easier challenges to add to your tottering
   daily game heap.
 https://limbo.today
   * MADAME CROQUET - What starts out as a relaxing
   puzzler quickly becomes frustrating, but we
   ended up getting quite addicted to it, so
   Graphics 84% Sound 76% Playability 92%. A Crash
   Smash.
 https://lummie-thief.itch.io/croquet-conundrum
   * WHO'S THAT LADY? - The internet mystery
   "celebrity number six" has finally been solved.
   And like all mysteries, they are better left
   unsolved, as it's more fun thinking Stonehenge
   was created by aliens rather than knowing it was
   a bloke called Barry and his 10,000 slaves.
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celebrity_Number_Six
   * THE SYD BARRETT OF 8-BIT CODING, EARLY WORKS -
   In our second mention of Vic 20s this week we
   bring you news that an early Matthew Smith game
   has been found. Yes him who created Manic Miner,
   however the game is a completely shit version of
   Pacman that barely works, so it's just an
   interesting to know thing, rather than 20 extra
   levels of Eugene's Lair.
 https://www.gamesthatwerent.com/2024/09/monster-mu...
   * WHY WE'RE NEVER LIVING ON MARS - you might be
   unsurprised to learn that's extremely
   uninhabitable. Our 2p is that if we ever live
   outside the Earth for long periods of time it'll
   be because we've made some very clever robots
   and it won't be us at all. All hail our ZX81
   future space children.
 https://defector.com/neither-elon-musk-nor-anybody...
   * HOW TO MONETISE YOUR BLOG - now there's a
   statement from about 2001, but this is a neat
   article that demonstrates all the shoddy ads
   that make everything terrible to read in
   whatever year we're now in.
 https://modem.io/blog/blog-monetization/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : IMAGE CHALLENGE
   Brit Pop results
   Last week we asked you to celebrate the fortune
   the Gallaghers are making by reforming Hurricane
   #1. Some good ones included:
   * This pun from 'hagbardsapple' which got our
   account temporarily blacklisted on bsky for
   adult content:
 https://b3ta.com/board/11410663
   * S4RK riffed on Quoasis:
 https://b3ta.com/board/11410676
   * And we liked this one from BRB as we'd deffo
   watch this, and it's not a million miles from
   their 'Car Lover' video:
 https://b3ta.com/board/11410685
 https://b3ta.com/challenge/britpop/popular/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
   Some ideas to kick you off
   * OBLIQUE STRATEGY CARDS WRITTEN BY CATS - "Push
   an object off the table" "Stare intently into
   space as if you're seen a spirit" "Present your
   owner with a freshly killed robin" "Mew at 4am
   to be let out, mew at 4:10am to be let back in"
   * AN OFF SWITCH FOR THE AI SHITE AT THE TOP OF
   GOOGLE SEARCHES - this is not a gag, we just
   absolutely hate it.
   * 'JUST' BEATLES RESEARCH - according to the
   Hunter Davies book, John Lennon said that you
   shouldn't use 'just' in a song as it's a fill-in
   word that doesn't mean anything. We've counted
   58 Beatles songs which use the word "just" and
   would like a linguist to go through them
   one-by-one checking if they add much to the
   meaning or are a "fill-in".
 
   Send your missives to the people who read your
   missives and then sometimes stick them in a 23
   y/o newsletter. Yep, 23 this week, well the
   message board anyway.
 https://b3ta.com/mailus/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost romantically.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
   Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
   Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
   Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
   Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
   Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
   Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
   H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
   Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
   Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
   Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
   Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
   Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
   Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
   Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
   Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
   mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
   OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
   Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
   Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
   pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
   Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
   RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
   sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
   McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
   Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
   Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
   Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
   Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
   Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
   Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
   Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
   Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
   James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
   Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
   Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
   Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
   Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
   Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
   Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
   Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
   Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
   Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
   STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
   Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
   Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
   Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
   Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
   Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
   Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
   Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
   FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
   Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
   Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
   Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
   madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
   Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
   Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
   Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
   Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
   Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
   Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
   Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
   Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional links; Monkeon for image challenge
   help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
   by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (Cool bananas - Kat)
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
   love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
   - extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
   Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
   Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
   and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
   McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
   Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
   PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
   Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
   the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
   to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
   appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
   Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
   Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
   Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
   YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
   Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
   you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
   Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx. BONUS
   THANKS: Gillian Parrott, Funny_hat & Gub~gub.
   BONUS THANKS TO NEWEST: Niomi Wightman, Matt &
   JonC. Super-newest thank to Benjamin Blundell
   and Stuart. Super bonus news thanks to Luka
   Mikec, Peter Henningsen & Mike Coats. Super
   double new thanks to Katie Steckles, Prophyria,
   Rob Mahon, Kier Fox-Mayr, Geoff Tidey, Simon
   Howard. And new bonus thanks to Tim Chuma, Tom
   YeOldeForge, Austin Hofeman & Marcus Penning.
   AND new thanks to atomic.
   Oh just subscribe, you lovely lovely people.
 https://b3ta.com/subscribe/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : BONUS "STOP BULLYING GINGERS" FESSHOLE
   "Growing up my half brother convinced me the
   family of ginger kids in the next street - me
   also being ginger - were from my Dad's previous
   marriage, but told me not to tell anyone. When
   Dad died I visited them to let them know. You
   could imagine the confusion as the lie unfolded"

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   THIS WEEKS HEADLINES
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   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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