we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 89: "GIVE UP WANKING ... FOR THE BLIND" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * INTERVIEW - Wilf Lunn * VIDEO - Dog vs Water * CAMPAIGN - Wank Holiday Monday ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | ___/ _ |/_ > Throwy Ball Game << "I made this game with a mate for a friend's band," mutters Quiet Phil, "You can play it by yourself but, as with all things in life, it's better with a partner." Yay. This is excellent, with innovative and intuitive game play. http://www.athlete.mu/downloads/game.html >> Art or Arse << "I made a quiz", squeals Margaret Nissen, "wherein you have to guess whether stuff is art or just regular old crap from the net." Harder than it sounds. http://www.modestypanel.com/artorcrap/ >> Shit on a Plate << We get a lot of substandard entries for the newsletter. This is the worst. Electrichamster has sent in a photo of his flatmate Matt proudly displaying his own shit on a plate. Look at that smile - what mother could want more? http://www.electrichamster.net/cantcookwontcook/tu... >> Share Your Credit Card Details << Mr. Fancyteeth has had a brainwave. "I've noticed how everyone wants to publish all their personal credit card details on a website," he writes, "Well now, thanks to me, they can. And I'll animate them to the theme tune of 80's TV crime drama, Magnum PI." What could be better? http://www.mycreditcarddetails.co.uk >> Myra Hindley In Space << Big Brother is starting again. Luckily Brian Mung doesn't work for Endemol, otherwise it would be set in space, star Myra Hindley and look a lot like this. http://www.brianmung.com/myra.htm ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates. >> I've Upgraded my C64 to Windows << Computer case mods are quite a thing on the net. Here's our latest favourite. It uses old Commodore boxes to house modern PCs. Woo. We're like pigs in 80s shit. http://www.mini-itx.com/projects.asp >> Free Holiday for Ladies << Girls: Aged between 20 and 28? You can stay in Athens free of charge. You've got to shag the landlord, mind you. (Shame it's not real and the bloke is simply collecting material for a book.) http://www.ezb8.com/default.asp >> Russian Conference Whores << Men: Like looking at pretty ladies? Like laughing at bad translations of Russian mobile phone conferences? You're in the land of luck as this site combines both. http://www.mobile-review.com/exhibition/svyaz2003-... >> Ban Comic Sans Font << Oh god. Don't tell us you don't know Comic Sans. It's the most revolting font ever made. You've seen it in parish church newsletters, on the side of vans and on shop hoardings. It must die. Join the campaign and register your disgust by covering your city with stickers. http://www.bancomicsans.20megsfree.com/photos.html >> Jumping Cow Game << Thank fuck for Tetra Pak. They make groovy packaging for milk. They've also commissioned this game. We have no idea why, we can't see the connection. But we do know that it's good. It's plays like Mario in low gravity. http://games.tetrapak.com/milkrunrun.php >> Pixel Art Tower << This project has been doing the rounds of the design sites for a while now. They're asking designers to draw one story of a hi-rise block each. It would look wonderful printed on the wall of a child's bedroom. B3ta's designer Denise Wilton in there too - see if you can find her. http://www.mrwong.de/myhouse/ >> Hack This Site << Here's a neat idea. Can you hack the this site? It presents a series of pages with passwords which get increasingly difficult. http://www.try2hack.nl/levels/ ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the X-Ray Vision Challenge Each week we run a competition to test your creative skills. We set a challenge and you open Photoshop and mess with our heads. Last week we wanted to see the world with X-Ray vision: http://b3ta.com/challenge/xray/ We asked B3ta boarder 'pollollups' to judge the entries - here are her 3 faves. Pollollups writes - #1 "Pantomime Horses - fantastic work and you can just hear those horses sniggering inside the costume. (monkeon) http://b3ta.com/board/1237150 #2 "American Muppets - I love beaker and this makes more sense than you can ever imagine (woowoowoo) http://b3ta.com/board/1242708 #3 "Recursive Chicken - clever clever and nicely done, but the joke is worth the effort. Would have won if it was animated." (sick_boy) http://b3ta.com/board/1230104 "Oh, and a special mention for Ijon Tichy's lego pirate thingy. We like." http://b3ta.com/board/1223550 >> This Weeks Challenge << This week, B3ta contributor Glis gave us the suggestion, "The Wonderful Adventures of Terry Wogan's Wig" http://b3ta.com/challenge/wogan/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Bookish follow-ups on previous stories. * DOGS IN CARS - "A huge thank you to everyone who helped Dogs in Cars become the success it is", barks Jerome Turner, "We now have 300 pictures of dogs. Woof! However, we are still trying to get the project published as a book." Good luck guys. http://www.dogsincars.co.uk * MONKEY MAN - "We've been interviewed by the Sunday Telegraph," chirps CCC, "Richard & Judy have been in touch - Meridian TV want to do a slot, Private Eye (i.e. Ian Hislop) have read it and laughed and Loaded magazine are going to do a photoshoot. I am also planning to do a book, based on the whole affair." Er.. Again, good luck guys. http://www.b3ta.com/interview/monkeyman/ * ROGER MOORE SAYS YAY - Remember Dan Chambers' requiem flash? Dan writes - "Well blimey. I've been in contact with Roger Moore's PA and apparently the great man has seen the animation and enjoyed it enough to add a link to his website!" (Editor writes: Roger Moore grew up near to my Granddad in Streatham. My granddad lent him 25 shillings to buy a pair of shoes when he married his first wife. He still hasn't paid up. Roger, are you reading? Remember Douglas Gordon Harris? Hmmm? Don't you think it's time you coughed up?) http://www.thetoiletonline.com/rogermoore.htm ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * EXTREME PLUSH TOY ADVENTURES - we're always seeing little photostories that people have made featuring their soft toys. But they don't have the senses-shattering excitement and action we crave. Can you do better? Why not take your teddy bear to see a prostitute? And murder her? * PAYPAL STRIP TEASE - are you a sexy exhibitionist? You've seen all these cyber begging sites like savekaryn yeah? Why not offer to remove one item of clothing for every £100 you raise? C'mon it's net gold. * SAYITWITHPANTS.COM - imagine the warm glow of walking about wearing smalls imprinted with the phrase "the boss is a cunt." Your boss would never know. But you would. And you'd feel good. Mmmm, so good. Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. Even the crap stuff. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: [email protected] Unsubscribe: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Links sent in by Seaneeboy William Forde, mnb098mnb & Geoff Sloan. Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry. Board research by Fnord. Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. Proofing by the spooky b4ta kids. (66657) ------------------------------------------------- TIP: If you spill candlewax on fabric, let it harden and then take some brown paper and place it over the distressed material. A hot iron placed onto the paper will melt the wax into the paper, removing it from the fabric. And finally, goatse book cover: http://www.joeclark.org/book/ next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive