we love the web email us go to messageboard newsletter archive home NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 87: "CLICKITY YOO-DAR CLICKITY YAY" next issue » « previous issue This Week: * VIDEO - Ouch. Hurty fire * QUIZ - Coke or Cleaner * VIDEO - Birmingham Baywatch ------------------------------------------------- ________ ____ __ ___ ____/ _)|_ // /_/ _ | ___/ _ |/_ > Coke or Cleaner << "Inspired by the recent Pot or Not quiz," writes Matt52, "I pulled together a similar sort of thing, largely educational in intent, in the interests of preventing people from inadvertently ingesting kitchen cleaner during a night out on the town." http://www.100free.com/c/cokeorcleaner/ >> Stupid Gaydar Profiles << "I'm a regular user of dating site Gaydar," writes Slutbarbie, "Some of the users are utter freaks. I've collected the profiles of my favourites." Warning: this stuff isn't exactly safe for work. Or home for that matter. http://www.mrbdamien.co.uk/aneuraljudges.html >> Singapore Caption Competition << "I publish a comedy magazine in Singapore," writes Carl, "Our front cover is a caption competition and wanted to ask if your readers could come up with something amusing." We wouldn't normally run with this, but how often do you get the chance to be on a magazine cover in Singapore? http://www.bantermag.com/capcom.htm ------------------------------------------------- : SITES IN BRIEF Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates. >> Stupid 999 Callers << Bless the Avon and Somerset police. They've stuck up recordings of some of the silliest 999 calls they've received. This is our favourite. A dotty old lady who's lost her glasses. Poor love - she's clearly a fucking lunatic. http://www.avonandsomerset.police.uk/communication... >> Birmingham Baywatch << After last week's "Birmingham, it's not shit" campaign, the Brummie links have been flooding in. This is the funniest of the lot. It's a remake of Baywatch in centre of Birmingham. http://66.70.181.237/sf/files/baywatch.wmv >> Find Me A Wife << This bloke has been let down by dating agencies and personal ads, so has decided to appeal for a special lady with a web page. It's a tried-and-tested formula for a site and the appeal is largely in trying to tell if it's real or not. One of the joys of this version is the guy's slowly unfolding weirdness. http://www.wifeodyssey.com >> Stupid eBay Feedback << Ho hum. This guy got a little bored using eBay and is playing a game of leaving random, inappropriate feedback to purchases he didn't even make. Worth a quick look for the inventive phrasing. All together now, "The Lord only granted me one child, and she died. Anyway, you were great. A+A+" http://makeashorterlink.com/ >> Mewing Americans << Auditions were held across the US for a catfood commercial. Their cat-based jingle is one of the most fantastically irritating ever made. This lady is giving it all she's got, making her look like an utter simpleton. http://www.meowmix.com/images/video/MeowAlbuquerqu... >> Babies Vs. Adults << A nice online gallery, showing pictures of children and the adults they became. Quite sweet really. This geeky chap is our favourite. http://www.wheniwaslittle.net/index.php >> Ridiculous Website Concept << It must be quite dull being a web designer, having to build sites to sell crap stuff all day. So we salute this fellow who, in his boredom, has crafted one of the most preposterous front pages ever to grace a site about pie packaging. http://www.nichollfoodpackaging.co.uk/ ------------------------------------------------- : B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE Results from the Curry and Cheese Challenge Each week we run a competition to test your creative skills. We set a challenge and you open Photoshop and mess with our heads. Last week we wanted films and songs with curry or cheese badly shoehorned into them: http://b3ta.com/challenge/curryorcheese/ We asked b3ta boarder 'Baz' to judge the entries - here are his 3 faves: Baz writes - #1 "Balti Towers - toilet humour is always funny, and this entry carries on that proud British tradition. Fantastic! (Dr. Dunno) http://b3ta.com/board/1134325 #2 "Driving Miss Jalfreze - A wonderfully contrived title with a great tag-line. Icky. (jumpy22) http://b3ta.com/board/1135588 #3 "The Two Towers - A brilliant, literal entry, symbolising the pain of the artist forced to conform to an imposed agenda." (Harry) http://b3ta.com/board/1138210 >> This Week's Challenge << This week, b3ta boarder Sargant came up with the suggestion, "Take photos of Real World Photoshops." Why not cut off someone's head and swap it with a neighbour's? http://b3ta.com/challenge/realworld/ ------------------------------------------------- : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT? Follow-ups on previous stories. * BIRMINGHAM CAMPAIGN SUCCESS - "I was interviewed by the Sunday Mercury newspaper", writes Jon Bounds, "and the song got played on BRMB radio." Yay. We're saving Birmingham together. http://www.jonbounds.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/jon/brum... * PHONEBOX WEBCAM - last week we featured a phonebox with a webcam trained on it. BT has now barred it from taking incoming calls. Woo. A fair number of websites we've linked to have been taken down by the amount of traffic but never a phonebox before. http://www.freshlegs.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/fame * WEB GRAFFITI WALL - Last week we featured a site where you could draw a picture and submit it to a massive, random gallery. Loads and loads of people have drawn things, so much so that they are running out of pixels. See it in all its glory: http://www.blograffiti.com/ ------------------------------------------------- : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE Make something cool and tell us about it. If you are in it then people will see your stuff. Things we'd really like to see include * PEOPLE THINGS UP - and getting in the papers. That would be cool. * TESTING IMPOSSIBLE THEORIES - the UK Arts Council recently gave some monkeys a typewriter (and a grant) to see if they'd write Shakespeare. Can you see if cats really have nine lives? * BOMBS MADE OF TRIFLE - why not blow up some jelly, custard and sponge? Don't forget the cream. It's asking for it. The slag. Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't been featured then don't be put off - we look at everything you send us. ------------------------------------------------- Subscribe: [email protected] Unsubscribe: [email protected] ------------------------------------------------- THANKS: This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with David Stevenson. Links sent in by Rob Hodges, Elliott Solomon, Vrlaura, Ade, Electroretro, Dis & Wilesy. Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry. Board research by Fnord. Top Tippery by Dean Perry Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder. Proofing by the lezzy b4ta licks. (65699) ------------------------------------------------- HANDY TIP: When you paint a room, cut an onion in half and leave in opposite corners of the room. The room won't smell of onion though - the onions just suck all the painty smell out of the air in about 24-48 hours. next issue » « previous issue Newsletter We run a free weekly B3TA email reporting on the coolest stuff on the net. _____________________ [ go ] -------------------- THIS WEEKS HEADLINES -------------------- * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS READ LATEST ISSUE archive