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   NEWSLETTER: "IF YOU SWAP 'REFLEX' FOR 'PENIS' IN THE DURAN SONG IT MAKES
   IT MUCH BETTER"
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 This Week:
 * GAME - Play 'DayBrix' every damn day
 * MORE GAMES - Get AI to tell you the password?
 * BEST OF FESSHOLE - horrible fesses never stop
 -------------------------------------------------
 ________  ____ __  ___
 ____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving the web
 ___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ | by screen-grabbing the 
 __/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  most horrible bits"
 B3ta email 862 - 26th May 2023
 Read this issue using a Currah Microspeech:
 http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue862
 Subscribe, mooks: https://b3ta.com/subscribe/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE MADE THIS WEEK
   Other than making white wee wee
   * ARE YOU READY FOR DAYBRIX - Matt Round has
   decided to have a go at one of those games that
   gives you a daily challenge, and he's taken
   Tetris, modified it a bit so all the shapes are
   made of three squares and added a heap of fine
   fine polish.
 https://vole.wtf/daybrix/
   * ARE YOU A DREGS ADDICT? - Chris Barker's comic
   book is out and ready to ship should you wish to
   buy a copy and you should because why not
   support poor Chris so that he doesn't have to
   beg for coins outside WHSmiths?
 https://peakrill.bigcartel.com/product/dregs-of-ru...
 -------------------------------------------------
 : HEBTROCO SPONSORSHIP
   Buy some lovely clothes - 30% off
   Hebtro make clothes and their unique selling
   point is that they're all made in the UK and
   designed to last so that the higher than normal
   price point works out better value overall.
   They're also an ideal place to buy a birthday
   present for the men in your life, or indeed, an
   early one for yourself. Oh and it's a Bank
   Holiday sale with 30% off - so there's never
   been a better time to invest hard in some sturdy
   clothes.
 https://hebtro.co/its-a-sale/
 -------------------------------------------------
 : FESSHOLE
   Your confessions fessed up for cheap lols
   Each week we ask you to type some bollocks into
   a Google Form and then we pick out a few to
   tweet out and see if anyone reports us to the
   authorities.
   * DATING - "My first Scottish Tinder date, he
   picked me up, we were driving for approx 30 mins
   & the police pulled us over. Turned out he
   picked me up in a stolen Audi and got lifted.
   Got taken home by the cops & they told me
   'that's what you get for meeting creepy cunts
   off the internet'."
   * REVENGE - "A young lad deliberately tripped my
   son up in the shop as he was walking with my
   wife. I was walking behind them & saw it happen
   so I made out I was looking at something on the
   shelf as the lad passed me, I stuck my leg
   backwards & caught the little cunt a beauty."
   * KARMA - "Managed to talk my girlfriend into
   becoming swingers because I wanted to fuck other
   girls. Went to one & she got mullered by about
   10 different cocks whilst no woman even looked
   at me. She's desperate to go back. Worst thing
   I've ever done."
   Join the 970k people who've followed this
   account thinking it was the funny one which
   posts photos of old rock stars looking like
   they're miserable old women in British soaps.
 https://twitter.com/fesshole/
   You might as well buy the book, it costs about
   the same as one of those modern coffees that
   young people drink.
 https://amzn.to/3EQU6wb
   TICKETS - We did the Manchester show and it went
   well largely due to the extraordinary audience
   confessions and we've got tickets for sale for
   Belfast, Newcastle and London, whilst Bristol is
   sold out.
 https://sites.google.com/view/fesshole
 -------------------------------------------------
 : SITES IN BRIEF
   Load up these cool WAP sites on your Nokia
   * MODERATION GAME - a bit like that recent
   disinfo game we linked the other week, this is
   trying to tackle a modern online problem via a
   game. We bailed after a few moderation tasks,
   which we suppose is realistic.
 https://moderatormayhem.engine.is/
   * COX-ZUCKER MACHINE - two men worked together
   to create the best named algorithm in history.
 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cox%E2%80%93Zucker_m...
   * HIGH SCORES - A big nerdy deep dive into some
   classic arcade high score tables.  Find out who
   all those initials belonged to before the day's
   top players replaced them all with POO and BUM.
 https://thehistoryofhowweplay.wordpress.com/2023/0...
   * C64 WEB SERVER - "Does it run a website" isn't
   as popular as "Does it run Doom", but it's a
   more internet-friendly challenge when you
   actually load the easily slash-dotted results in
   your browser.  In this case, you can take a look
   at a website that's running on a C64.  Can
   someone buy alansugar dot com and get it to run
   on an Amstrad CPC and auto-respond to any
   questions from an Em@iler?
 https://youtube.com/watch
   * GUESS THE PASSWORD - AI projects work quite
   nicely when it's pitting you, the human, against
   our future overlords.  In this case, can you get
   the AI to reveal sensitive information via the
   many alarming ways it has been found to be a
   security nightmare.
 https://gandalf.lakera.ai
   * ICE CREAM VAN GAME - Slightly fiddly controls,
   but an enjoyably stupid idea for these
   alarmingly sunny days.  Entice children to your
   ice cream van with your music and serve them in
   time before the little bastards have a strop and
   kick it in.
 https://playmedusa.itch.io/icecream-van
 -------------------------------------------------
 : STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
   Some ideas to kick your off (written in a car)
   * RUDE PLATES - write a bit of code that finds
   every single potential rude registration plate.
   * RUDE VANS - a photo dictionary of every time
   someone has written a message on the back of the
   van by wiping their finger in the dirt "I wish
   my wife was this dirty" etc
   * BUS TWINS - a tale of two cities, exploring
   buses that have the same numbers in different
   parts of the UK. Presented by Michael Palin.
   Don't fail us, mail us:
 https://b3ta.com/mailus/
   BTW: oxygenthiefmusic requests, "Similar to the
   'fewer' bot idea (last week), I'd like one that
   corrects 'on route' to 'en route' because that
   boils my piss."
 -------------------------------------------------
 : PATREON THANKS
   We love all these people. Almost romantically.
   *HEBTROCO* *JAMES O'BRIEN* *KATE* *MARK
   MCCREADIE* *MR PHIL DONNELLY* *SHOWRAT* *SIMON
   JAMES* *STOOBERT*
   24-7 DEATH, ALAN CHARLTON, ALISTAIR, BRIAN
   EELES, CHRIS BLAKENEY, CHRIS CARLINE, CHRIS
   LOCKE, CRISS MORENO, IAN SHEEN, JAIMIE
   VANDENBERGH, MARK ADAMSON, RICHARD BARCLAY,
   SPAZZCAPTAIN, WENDY GOODE, NAT KING COLESLAW,
   ALBERT MARSHMALLOW, DANIEL MUDFORD, CARL DENCH
   Ed Zitron, Eugenie vT, Tom Dolan, Tom Wright,
   lee burnett, Richard Matthias, @mattdawhit, Adam
   Atack, Adam Cooney, Adam Lloyd, Adrian
   Woodfield, Al Davidson, Albion Gray, Andy
   Storrar, Andy Tillett, Andy Webber, Anna,
   Anne-Marie Scott, Ben Watson, Bertram Wooster,
   blossomshed, Carl Morgan, Catherine McAllister,
   Chris Evans, Chris Shaw, Craig Tonks, Damien
   Smith, Dan Stott, Daniel Brown, Dave Nattriss,
   Dave Tickle, David Ault, David Catley, David
   Gardiner, David King, David Mills, Derek Law,
   Dominic Haigh, Emma Lay, Eric von Borstel, Faith
   H. Martin, Fiona James, Fraser Lewry, Gaynor
   Clarkson, Gia Milinovich, Greg Neilson, Gus
   Nicol, Iain, Iain Brassington, Iain Fuller, Iain
   Ruxton, Ian Beveridge, Ivan Kelly, James
   Donnelly, James Kerry-Barnard, Jane Baker, Jason
   Stewart, Jerry Quartley, Jim Dabell, Jim
   Frayling, Jim MacArthur, Jim Woodward, Joe
   McNally, Joe Simmonds, John Faragher, John
   Foster, John Hammersley, John Matthews, Jude
   Evans, Jm McNven, Kate Devlin, Kev Adams, Konrad
   Petrusewicz, Martin Beer, Martin Holloway,
   Martin Peache, matsimpsk, Matt Buchanan, Matt
   Drewry, Matthew Collinge, Matthew Forman,
   Matthew Morris, Matthew Wilkes, midnightrambler,
   mil jamieson, Neil de Carteret, Nick Ross,
   OBiW4N SHiNOBi, oliver bewes, Paul Cherry, Paul
   Smith, Paul Westerman, Peter Ashtray, Peter
   Coombe, peter wouda, Philip Kinchington,
   pookong, Rich Pope, Richard Beckett, Rob Mahon,
   Rob Vincent, Robbie Lesiuk, Ross Carter,
   RossOverThere, Saleem Ahmad, Scott S. Kramer,
   sean casely, Simon Cowan, Simon Holmes, Simon
   McDougall, Simon waterfall, Stephen Waller,
   Steve Anglesey, Steven Smith, Stuart Ashen, Tim
   Jokl, Tim Mouncer, Tim Weaver, Tom Crick, Tom
   Rees-Williams, Tom Ryan, TownsendsPublisher, Wil
   Hadden, Will Goulden, AuntieSash Hazlewood,
   Byron Geoffrey Farrow, Chef Twat, Chris Gough,
   Chris Whitworth, Craig Turner, Daniel Chote,
   Fergus McKay, fourstar, Geoff Tidey, Geoffrey
   Balme, Graham Licence, James Macinnes, John
   Higgs, Jonty Wareing, Mick Curtis, Rhys Wynne,
   Rob Affleck, Chris Saunders, George Preston,
   James O'Malley, Martin Davies, Mike Middleton,
   Bex Cook, Hannah Chubb, Ben Ward, James Pearson,
   Shane McHugh, Stevey Garland, Ciarn R, Craig
   Liddell, Helen Gaskell, Christopher Orr, Will
   Moody, Nick Morgan, Ben Brice, David Green,
   Justin Brett, Louise Allen, Robin, Gavin Tommey,
   Stuart Richards, Tobie Fysh, Pete, Carl Mesner
   Lyons, Chris Johnson, Emma Sykes, Jan Spielhoff,
   Mike Congreve, Sean Flanagan, Tom Freke, Sam
   Anderson, Jess Baker, Adam Beardwood, David
   Stark, Julie Brumlik, Alastair Dodd, Alexandre
   Strube, Andrew Robinson, Andy Candler, Connor
   Parslow, Craig Naples, Daniel Moeller, Duncan
   STrickland, Harry, Irene Semanchuk, Joseph
   Mulvaney, Michael Kitt, Nicky Hewgill, Paul
   Topping, peter royal, Richard Speed, Sentient
   Meatbag, Tim Beachy, Dominic Le Garsmeur, Mark
   Benson, Danny Kodicek, Deny Coughlan, Nick Kent,
   Russ Anderson, Adam Kaczmarek, Andrea Vail, Andy
   Shirling, Ben Chapman, ben cowell-thomas, Ben
   Groom, Ben Sugden, Cat Conner, Centuries of
   Sound, Claire Allen, Claire Zolkwer, Darren John
   Harris, Dave The Hammer Parry, David Bond, David
   Ellinor, Daz Wright, Emily Payne, Emma Nicol,
   FuzzyFreaks, Gary Sharp, Gwyn Fisher, Hugh
   Noble, Iain M Barker, Ilya olak-Anti, Jennifer
   Moquin, Jim Lucking, John M, Jon Bounds, Lee
   Ball, Louis E, Lyra Jay, Marc Lindberg, mark
   madgwick, Matt Carr, Michael Bryan, Mr Flibble,
   Neil Ives, Nick, Nigel Ford, Oli, Paul Bayfield,
   Paul Slade, Peter Wood, Phil Barns, Rachel
   Tougas, Richard Abraham, Richard Midwinter,
   Robert Purkis, Robert Simpson, Rohan, Sam Brown,
   Seirian Hanner, Sham Courtney, Simon Lumb,
   Stephen McAuley, Stewart C. Russell, Stphane,
   Swedemason, Ted Bowyer, Thepfy, Tim Polglase,
   Tom Clark, Tony East, wigglywigglyworm, Adam
   Tickner, Al Napp, Andrew Harris, Bobod, Chris
   Ward, Jace Otting, James Meers, John Griffiths,
   Paul Mancini, Rob Potter, Tanya Kant, Victoria
   Wood, Graham Freeman, Caroline Kahn, Matt.
   EDITORIAL THANKS: Monkeon & Matt Round
   additional links; HappyToast for image challenge
   help; and Dr Dunno for extra support. Proofing
   by Kat E. Thanks Kat. (Wotcha captain - Kat)
   And thank you to newish Patreons Ben Rout, Tim
   Clarke, Simon Balch, Clemence Saussez, Derek
   Colley. Martin Pritchard, Stephanie Wissinger,
   Dion Ashton and Paul Blanchard. Thanks to EVEN
   NEWER ONES: Fadgebadger, Mark (Mavis), Joshua
   Rackstraw, Mike Stringer, Eliot Beer, Harri
   Bionic, Chris Lindley, Stuart B, Jon Morris
   Smith, Daniel Malbon, James Heaver and Phil
   Lovell. And further thanks to newer ones: Ben
   Oliver, James Wise, Claire Turner, Omnipiss,
   Lindsay Mclaughlin, Mellyfish, Simon Edwards,
   Dave Wong & Stafford Lawrence. NEWEST - special
   love to NEW PATREON Phillip Spowart. NEW NEWSEST
   - extra love love love to si Jobling & Daniel
   Calvin. And bonus new love to Douglas Pennant,
   Roy Santos & Will Thompson. We love you. OH GOD,
   and more bonus love to Alex Collin-Oakley, Phil
   McGuire & Paul Blanchard - you sexy people. And
   Mike Powell and Damion Brown and Ross Carter and
   PJ. Ooooh and John Daly. Oooh oooh ooh and Rich
   Corcoran. Love you. And a special thank you to
   the super generous Paul Topping. And a thank you
   to the return of Carlos Fandango. Much
   appreciated Carl. OOH AND NEW ONES! Alistair
   Murray Swodeck, nevillebartos, Blargity Blarg
   Blarg. YAY! Oh and more thanks to Ian Walker,
   Attila Eros, Calanish and Mike Wolcom. WE LOVE
   YOU. And new new thanks to Dale Goodall, Gillian
   Parrot, Albion Gray & Gary Alan Norton. Thank
   you, you kind humans. And... Leighton Stevenson,
   Ben Cowell-Thomas & Phil Bennett. Thx. BONUS
   THANKS: Gillian Parrott, Funny_hat & Gub~gub.
   And do please donate as you get occasional
   "bonus" content. Maybe.
 https://www.patreon.com/b3ta
 -------------------------------------------------
 : AH FUCK IT, BONUS FESSHOLE
   "Shat myself while out walking - pulled off my
   boxers and lightly buried them in a wood. A year
   or so later, a body was discovered in the same
   wood. Thinking my soiled kecks might be found as
   'evidence', I went to the police station and
   explained. They're probably still laughing."

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   THIS WEEKS HEADLINES
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   * TYPE-IN MAGAZINE - LAUNCHED FOR YOUR FINGERS
   * AI SLOP - GET READY TO OINK FOR IT, PIGGIES
   * GET WELL SOON - WISHING WELL TO DAVE BAGPUSS

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